Worst experience at church

>>34918272
Thanks for the giggles OP. Have you gotten your flu shot yet?

>>34918272
lmao you fuck

>>34918272
>Preacher kicks my balls
>Everyone thinks I'm gay when I leave
What

rip you dumb cunt

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>>34918305 Yea Anon, did you?

>>34918390
Not yet actually. I'm worried because I've currently got a sinus infection that the doctor said could escalate to influenza. Some lady died a week ago from it, there's like 30 confirmed cases in my town

>>34918353. It was the kind of church where jerking off is gay and being gay is the devil

>>34918272
>Worst fucking pain ever
>Everyone thinks I'm gay when I leave

just got that image in my head now I get it..

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>>34918434
Oh shit, that fucking sucks.
>Realize this is the first sane chat on 4chan
>Mfw

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>be fat
>be 8
>go to church
>get called a fat ass in the Royal Rangers
>have to take a shit
>clog the toilet
>tfw the usher seen me leave
>go back to class
>the they're watching Veggie tales,eating cookies and punch
>tfw have a cookie
>get called ,Rikishi and a fat bitch
>hear a bang and scream
>the usher fell down the steps because I clogged the toilet so bad the shit water went to the hallway near the steps
>he goes to the hospital and never walked the same way again
>he sues the church
>church shuts down because they couldn't fund the repairs and the lawsuit
>pastor gets back into drugs he said he was off of for decades
>beats his son and kills himself
>all his kids move out and they all become drug heads or in jail except the daughter with the big tits, she's a single mom
>tfw mom never had me go to church again because I clogged the toilet

>>34918518
Yeah you'd think that influenza wouldn't be that much of a problem but people are dropping dude. Most of the business are closed because the employees are sick

>>34918599
Jesus, that's the craziest shit I've heard Anon

UHWOWANONTHAT WASTHABESTSTORY EVAR XDDXD ^^ :3


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29VcmGP9mBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29VcmGP9mBk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29VcmGP9mBk
Kill yourselves

>be edgy 15 year old
>tell priest i love satan
>get dragged around by the arm like a little kid for next hour staring at the floor while my religious family and various members of the church alternate between disciplining me and pleading with me

>>34918669
Thats the kind of faggots I know.

>>34918699
E D G Y T E E N
D
G
Y
T
E
E
N

>>34918763
I was that way as well but I was banned from church so I can't say shit about being a satanist

>hip new pastor wants to shake Easter Services up
>while old dude is singing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du134kH3WK4 us kids have to run into the church yelling "Stop! Stop! This is a happy occasion!"
>he gets to our queue
>we rush in
>begin saying "Stop, Stop!"
>old lady reaches out of pew and swings her purse into the back of my skull because she thinks I'm just being a hellion
>fracas erupts
>pastor yells at her
>watch an old woman break down in tears while apologizing to me
That was a terrible idea.

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>>34918272
>Preacher kicks my balls
A true American hero

>>34918272
>>Preacher kicks my balls