Does anyone else feel this weird sense of existential horror

How could it not be?
Sometimes I like to entertain the idea that we're a class of stupid actor demons that are meant to entertain the others

>>34911166
so what are you comparing to? if your idea of "suffocating" is what happens when someone thinks about the scope of a human life, i'd say your life is pretty fucking good. you seem bored, find a hobby.

The giant universe is pretty comfy
I don't know about all of that endless void
But it's nice to know that this planet isn't the only thing that exists

You can always just kill yourself

Living might be "hell" according to you, but what's the alternative exactly? There's no consciousness at all without life

I used to get this shit when I was like 9 years old. Some of my most vivd memories from childhood are me lying in my bed coming to terms with my insignificance and mortality.
I still get that feeling now and then but it'll never be as intense as back then.

I just got back from the hospital, where they did an ultrasound on my liver. As the hot gel was spread on my skin and the scanner pressed into my bare tummy the machine drew power and the lights in the room all dimmed. I laid there on my back for about 20 minutes, turning or holding my breath according to the technician. It was a bit of a surreal experience. I don't really like hospitals. Something about them just seems terribly macabre. Uncaring, professional, clinical detachment of staff. Numb to the terrifying horrors of human suffering walking the halls. The idea of a surgery seems totally savage to me. Cutting someone open to work on them seems extremely barbaric. I feel like there should be a better way.

>>34911691
Iktfb
I miss it

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>>34911671
Amd what if death isn't even the end of it? What if there is a multiverse and we just go on to exist in a different timeline? What if we get reincarnated as a spider? What if existence is infinite and repeats itself and we are doomed to live the same life over and over again?

>>34911671
>There's no consciousness at all without life
But is there? What happens to your consciousness when you die?

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>>34911166
You should read The Conspiracy Against the Human Race by Thomas Ligotti and ignore the conspirators ITT who are trying to shame you into rejecting this profound insight.

>>34911166
"Officially there are no fates worse than death. Unofficially, there is a profusion of such fates. For some people, just living with the thought that they will die is a fate worse than death itself."
- Thomas Ligotti

What if your consciousness just keeps on going after you're dead, experiencing nonexistance for all of eternity?

>>34911712
>>34911713
(You) won't exist because it's pretty clear that we store memories and react to the world according to our physical bodies, and you already have a frame of reference for what that's like because you didn't exist before you were born. it would be nice if your body or "spirit" went on to become something else, but it's not even worth evaluating.

self preservation is supposed to be p. strong until you've raised some kids. thinking about some distant future that's irrelevant to you is p. fucking stupid.

>>34911664

oh you're one of those that think we're monkeys on a ball and that some astroNAUTS went to the moon aren't you?

>>34911639
>>34911762
>hurrr just stop thinking bro
>just like get a hobby bruh
>you have it better than some people
>lmao you need a girlfriend bro

Fuck off retards

>>34911762
originally consider this>>34911757

Consciousness was a big mistake

>>34911166

yes, i was 13 once OP.

>>34911691
>>34911705
this may be one of the few advantages of being raised religious. You won't have to face any of this shit until much later.

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>>34911801
Consciousness was the only mistake, because it is only consciousness which can judge anything to be a mistake. Without consciousness everything would simple be. Consciousness is a combined torture device and torturer.

The human mind oscillates between order and chaos. Schopenhauer recognized this.
"Life is a pendulum that swings between boredom and suffering".

Chaos is experienced as highly painful, and most people have no tolerance for it. However, this another mechanism at play here. The oscillation in the human mind is basically just the preservation of entropy. All that changes is whether you experience it internally or externally.
If the external world is in a of order you will experience chaos-interna. That's what you're feeling OP.

Don't worry, you will probably get distracted or the world will become more chaotic and your mentality will change to deal with it.

It's really funny how insignificant humans are in this vast universe, we are insignificant even on our own home planet.

We're here for a while

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>>34911166
>I prayed to God for along time from the time I was 13 until recently. Im glad he told you that youre allowed to . For me its a bit more complicated I've prayed to Satan one time and done sacriligiois acts on purpose a few times.

>My struggle is with people who are actually evil. Not imperfect men and women (epsecially women) but those who engage in evil deliberately out their own free will. They haunt me and seek to destroy my soul through psychic manipulation. Yet I still try to remain as pious as possible.

millions of bacteria in your body (more than you have cells) are fighting for their survival, not yours

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJJ8hWDXWGs