Birthdays

I just treat birthdays as any other days.

>>34903456
Happy birthday anon! How old are you now? I also typically celebrate my birthday by going out to eat with my parents then spending it like any other day in my room playing games

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>>34903456
First off, Happy Birthday anon. I know that feel all too well. Luckily I have parents that try to get excited for me and they hang a little happy birthday sign and my mom makes a cake, but that goes for everyone in my family. Still very nice of them.

I'll be turning 21 in 3 months, and I haven't had a real friend since I changed schools in 3rd grade. Yes, I had casual acquaintances, people that I hung out with on school grounds and later in the cafeteria in high school, but I never once saw any of these people outside of these situations. I kind of grew accustomed to it, unfortunately. Now it's hard for me to make friends, because I don't know what friends even do anymore. Do they talk about their day? Do they text each other often? Do they go out to eat together? I don't even know! It's depressing that I even have to ask these silly questions and the fact that I'm even asking them illustrates my disconnection from people my age.

I'm 20. I go to school and am a Junior. I get good grades. I have a part time job. I buy nice things. But none of that matters to me anymore. I find myself buying shit to fill the void of having no one to share things with. I would fucking love a girlfriend to take out and spend money on. I know around here it's "don't put pussy on a pedestal", but if I were to magically get a girl to start liking me, I would buy her the world if I could. I'm just at a place where friends and a relationship are what's missing.
(continued in next post)

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>>34903483
It was my 30th birthday yesterday and nobody acknowledged it. I officially don't celebrate them, but really nobody gives a fuck about me and I have no friends, so my birthday party would look like one of those pics with a gloomy loser sitting alone at a table.

>>34903456
Happy birthday, anon.

>How do you guys deal with birthdays?
I don't. I don't like the attention and expectations associated with birthdays so I tend to avoid them altogether. The only thing I insist on is having something nice to eat and other than that it's like any other shitty day.

>>34903613
I love how you turned OPs birthday into your own blog post that I relate too much with

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>>34903613
There's just this massive gap in my chest all the time. Every time I see a pretty girl, I get depressed because she'll never be interested in me. Who would be interested in a loser with a gargantuan nose and terrible skin? Who, I ask? No one. No one has ever even been slightly attracted to me as far as I can tell and it fucking eats me up. I'm sure there have been a few girls, but its' never been evident.

All of that being said, I think that actual human relations are needed to feel the void that you have on your birthday. It's a special day, or at least it should be. Every birthday I think about my lack of friendships and relationships the last X years and it fucking sucks. It really does. I just want to fucking kill myself because of the loneliness sometimes. I shouldn't have these thoughts; many would say that my life is great! But without relationships and friends, what is life? Buying shit and eating till you die? I'm just so fucking lonely.

Again, Happy Birthday anon, and thanks for allowing me to vent in your thread.

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>>34903714
Happy to hear that I'm not the only one that get's these feelings. It's just all so tiresome.

>>34903483
I tried doing this but then my parents remembered. It's a bittersweet feeling since it's nice that they care but then I can't ignore my lonely birthday if they try to make a thing of it.
>>34903549
Thanks anon. I just hit 20 and I don't like it. Feel too old already. And I'm doing exactly what you do, just had dinner and maybe I'll watch a movie or two.
>>34903613
Thank you anon. Also I relate to pretty much everything you said. I went to uni earlier today and talked to a handful of people but it's not the same as having friends who actually take the time out of their day to talk to you or rely on you.
>>34903655
Happy belated birthday anon! Your 1/3 of the way to freedom if you don't an hero or otherwise fuck up your health. Also I think completely ignoring your birthday is probably a better alternative than having a lonely birthday. The environment is seriously depressing when you're sitting in a quite room with like 2 people thinking about why no one else gives a shit.
>>34903714
kek I'll allow it
>>34903717
I also identify with this. I see a lot of girls in class and I've learned not to get too fixated on them but if one of them even says 2 words to me that's all I think about and I come up with all sorts of autistic scenarios about what could happen between us. It's a real shitty way to live. I think people like us have to find meaning through something other than social bonds. I for one like to draw and write shit, I'm not too good but it gives me something to focus on, I can use it as a form of expression and they're both life long pursuits that I will hopefully get better at over time. Try to find something like that, they help me avoid fixating on my crippling loneliness and depression.

Thanks again for the kind wishes and thanks for sharing anon! Sometimes you just have to vent and get everything off your chest.

>>34903905
> It's a real shitty way to live. I think people like us have to find meaning through something other than social bonds
I've been doing that for over 10 years, and I'm just so fucking sick of it. Nothing fills that void for me anymore. Yesterday, I met a girl that takes the same bus as me and was in my class. We walked and talked all the way to the station, on the bus, on the walk to our cars, and I even got the nerve to ask her for her number. I actually fucking got it, and you can imagine my exhilaration. I got to my car and just fucking smiled the whole drive home, I was so fucking happy.

Then, my autistic ass tried to figure out how to text her. I finally worked up the courage to and her responses are all one worded and disinterested. She's absolutely wonderful from what I know about her and I don't think I'll give up yet, but it's so amazing to have a conversation with a beautiful girl that's actually interested in talking to you. There's nothing like it. I was going to ask her on a date tonight, but she stopped replying so that's out the window. Have you ever had that feeling when you see a girl that's the definition of perfection look wise? This is her, anon. This is her.

But of course, I'll probably fuck it up and she probably wasn't even attracted to me in the first place as I'm ugly. Perhaps I got her number out of pity. I asked her how she did on her test that she mentioned to me yesterday, and she said she did well along with (Continued)

>>34904045
Yeah, it's easier to do if you abstain from social stuff for a long period of time. If I even get a little bit of quality social contact t than I get really depressed and have an intense longing for more. But it seems like you have something good going here anon so keep at it. And even if things don't work out with her just remember that if one beautiful girl was interested enough to befriend you I'm sure there'll be more down the line. Just try to enjoy the relationship for what ever it is and don't try to force anything too much.

>>34904045
"Thanks for asking and thinking about me!!!" Which I though was nice of her to say, but it feels like I'm already being being tossed to the side with a comment like that. I'm sure that I'm analyzing it too much like I always do. She probably doesn't want anything to do with me.

Nevertheless, I think I'll text her tomorrow and ask her. What do I have to lose? I couldn't possibly feel worse if she says no. What do I have to fucking lose? I have doubt in my heart that she'll agree to do something with me, and if she does, I'm afraid she'll see it as a "just friends" thing, but don't all relationship start out like that? Just friends hanging out until attraction builds? But I think I'm going to try. I really think that I will. I know I will. And if she says no or that she's busy I'll be content, albeit sad, knowing that she's not interested in me in that sort of way. Sometimes you just have to say "Fuck it", anon. I think tomorrow is one of those days.

I just don't know how to start the conversation up again TIPS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

>>34904154
Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate them. I just don't want to come off as needy and I feel like I already have because she stopped replying. Hopefully she replies in the morning or later tomorrow so I can get the conversation going again. Withdrawal from social contact fucking sucks, I agree with you there.
Sorry for the long posts, I appreciate you reading them. It's nice to have someone to vent to.

>>34904238
If you want a relationship then you have to be straight up and ask her in person. If she says yes then awesome, if she says no then chances are that you probably wont be hanging out with her anymore. It's kind of a slippery slope if she sees you as a friend and you see her as gf material cause you'll end up being a beta orbiter who resents her for not being with you. If you just wanna be friends then chill with her, if you want more than I'd say you should talk to her in person and let her know. If you do get rejected you'll probably feel like shit but it'd probably be better than being friends with her for a year or more and realizing that she's not into you at all.

Oh and try to have all important contact in person. Don't barrage people with multiple texts or DMs at once cause then you'll just come off as really needy. A lot of people are just really weird/different over texting or social media. They're at their realest when you're standing in front of them face to face.

>>34904561
Thank you for the advice.

I only see her once every 2 weeks in class though, so I think that's an issue. I think I'll just ask her if she'd like to do something this Saturday tomorrow and try and set something up. I definitely wouldn't ask her to actually be in a relationship with me over text or over the phone, that'd be in person stuff. But I have to set stuff up over the phone because of how rarely I actually see her on campus or in class.

What I'm stuck on is getting a conversation going for tomorrow that doesn't sound needy. I don't even know if it's possible. I definitely don't want to bug her, but I feel like the smallest text may be doing that. Please give me advice anon

>>34904697
Bumping for advice from you kind people

>>34904697
Just ask her casually when you see her in class. Say something like "I'm gonna go eat at X do you want to come?" Or that your gonna go study, get coffee/whatever. Just ask her if she wants to tag along to something you were already gonna do.

>>34905036
But I won't see her in class for another 2 weeks anon. I'd like to do something before then and she lives close

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Hey it's my birthday today too anon

Happy birthday! Have a THICC ass as a present :3c

>>34905036
>>34905078
Last self pity bump for myself in a thread that's not even mine before I go to bed.

>>34903483

Same. I've never really cared for it, and as the years have gone by, I've taken to completely ignoring it or just telling myself 'another year of failure'. Most people enjoy their birthdays, but to me, it's a reminder of why I suck as a person.

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>>34905078
Well that's gonna be hard to do if you don't normally hang out. You could ask her to do something class related but that's all that comes to mind. Sorry mang.
>>34905102
Wew that is a nice booty anon. Thank you. Also happy birthday to you as well! Have a booty for your trouble.

>>34903456
Happy birthday anon. I hope you have w onderful day