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a tale of thirst and autism

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Thread replies: 57
Thread images: 12

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sit down robots, let me tell you a story of how far thirst and autism has gotten me.

before i begin you need a little bit of a backstory.

>kissless virgin with a superiority complex
>not socially retarded, capable of holding conversations with normies
>the few times i got somewhat close to a relationship(not of my own doing i've gotten rejected more times than i can count) i ran like hell or acted like an asshole because they were fat or ugly
>parents threatened to kick me out if i didn't go to university so i had to give up my neet lifestyle
>decided that if i'm gonna go to uni i better get my ass as far away from my parents as possibly

this is where it all begins.

>fly into the britbong land and as soon as i get to my university I'm greeted by my international student officer who tells me there's a meeting with every new international student in an hour
>i get ready, i'm trying to look as normie as possible
>get there 10 minutes before the meeting starts and sit down
>some normies try to talk to me but i'm not being very attentive
>and then SHE walks in. for the rest of the story I'm gonna be reffering to her as "SHE"

I hit the cap.
Rest of the story coming in a bit

(1/2)
>>
>>34898630
Keep going...

XDDDLLLSS::S::DDDDD ORIGNALLAYY :DDDDDDDDD
>>
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>5'2 - 5'3 short haired qt asian grill which is perfect because i happen to be a 5'7 manlet
>wait for her to sit down, i manage to get some coherent sentences out like where you from and whats your name
>SHE says she's from Indonesia and that her name is Citra
>at that point i said her name a few times so i can remember it, making sure i get right
>tutor walks in and gives us the introduction. i was basically still just thinking about how cute she is because i couldn't look back
>i blocked out like 50% of that introduction while i was working on this master plan in my head to stay around until she starts walking out so i can start walking with her and get to talk to her knowing that she probably lives in the same student accommodation as me, we would get like 10 minutes to talk. it'd be perfect.
>everyone but her and 2 other students start getting up to leave
>i look around confused
>the tutor says "so yeah, every european student you guys can go now, i need another 30 minutes to talk to visa students
>she's from indonesia, she's a visa student, i'm european. my master plan just fell through unless i stayed around but then that would seem weird why would i stay around an empty university, i wouldn't be able to answer that question if she asked it
>decide its time to head back
>get home open facebook look up every variation of the name citra on facebook and can't find anything, try twitter same thing. i then look through the facebook group of 2016 applicants I go through every single one of them(over 1500) 1 by 1 reading names and looking at pictures, process must've taken me like 2 hours
>i decide it's finally time to give up, and think that i'll probably see her on campus and talk to her
>boy i was wrong, i forced myself to go to every freshman normie event looking around just to find her
>she didn't go to any of them
>in my mind that instantly meant that she wasn't a normie whore she's probably just a shut in little asian girl

2/3 maybe 2/4
>>
Hurry up homosex I want to get to the bit where I laugh at you
>>
I demand more. More more more
More og
>>
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>2 months pass i decide to look her up on facebook again, different process, started looking through different groups different university societies maybe she had signed up for me
>nope no luck
>time passes i never see her around even though I know we live in the same building
at this point i had given up. if i can't start talking to her digitally and i can't even find her at uni. there's no chance i'll ever find her
>parents finally force me to get a job
>international student with 120WPMs instantly check off all the boxes for my university's diversity quota and get tech support job with ok pay for a student
>i do my work well, i'm patient with people, everyone in the team loves me because they're all mildly autistic so we can relate to eachother
>2 more months pass
>im doing somewhat ok in uni
>and then last night happened.
>someone triggered the fire alarm in the student accommodation
>everyone is rushing out at 11:20PM
>walk out and bump into HER
>she gives me a long look like she knows who i am
>we make eye contact for a full 2 seconds
>before i can even say anything we have to move because there's literally 200 people trying to get out of the building
>she's with her friends, she goes to talk to them
>i'm sitting here looking at her, in her bathrobe and flip flops rushed out because of the fire alarm
>want to say something but i can't because she's with friends and i can't just interrupt a conversation between 4 people to say hi to her.
>she keeps looking around for some reason and makes eye contact with me every time
>maybe she was looking at me trying to figure out where she knows me from
>fire alarm eventually stops
>i try to rush to get to her and say something but people are moving too quickly
>it's not gonna happen today
>>
OP you better come through you faggot hurry
>>
I got a 500 word essay due tomorrow hurry up
>>
Cyubchh
Keep it going
Or
>>
Bravo OP

> fuck you spam filter
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>>34899041
If this is the end of your story then you are way more autistic than what you think.
>>
>>34899041
Wait, is that fucking it? OP confirmed for massive faggot
>>
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>go back to my room straight to bed
>can't stop thinking of her
>even without makeup at 11:30pm she had perfect skin and looked really cute

>wake up the next day thinking of her again
>get done with my morning lecture and straight to work after that
>realize that i have access to the university database.every student, tutor and applicant in the system
>slow day so i start trying to find her
>i first look for her name spelled 20-30 different ways, i then try just 3 and then just 2 letters Ci and Se nothing worked, i couldn't find anything
>realize that maybe she had changed her first name like a lot of asian students do when they come here because their actual first names are too hard to pronounce
>i then head to google to find the most common indonesian names, just for good measure i tried most popular indonesian first names and last names
>literally 350 results
>alright let's get to it
>i type in every single first and last name and searched it, i probably could've written an entire essay in this time period
>come up with the genius idea to look through emailing groups and maybe that way i can find her course and then find her emailing list
>no luck there either
>6 hours of 'work' in not having found anything i realize that THE ONLY way i can actually find her is by going through every single student at the university 1 by 1 until i find an asian name that stands out and look it up on facebook. thankfully there aren't many asian students here so that should be easy, just very time consuming, but who cares. i'm autistic enough
>work day is over tho so i need to head back to my apartment
>on my way back i receive an email from the Head of IT
>Inquiry about your recent search history
>Anon, you have searched 450 different names and words today, that is more than the entire department has in the past 2 years combined. This is a very sensitive issue and I was forced to contact the HR department. We would like to have a talk with you first thing tomorrow morning.
>>
>>34899303

I think that's the point. OP is autistic as fuck
>>
My sides OP. Of course they monitor CRM
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>>34899338
Nevermind, OP might not be a faggot jury is still out

You better deliver something good bitch, this is getting interesting
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>>34899370
That's it.

Meeting is tomorrow morning. I'm royally fucked. Not only am I gonna lose my job but who knows how much worse this is gonna get. Will I get kicked out of uni? Cops called?

I literally can't think of any kind of lie that would work here.

I might just have to tell the truth.
>>
>>34899425
XAXAXAXAXA)))))))))))))))
>Not knowing that searches would be logged
>Not trying to bury these searches between other things.
>>
>>34899425
your only mistake was abusing work resources when you could easily get caught

BTW if you met someone literally months ago and met them again since then, AND still haven't made a move, it's never going to happen.
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>>34899425
got something you can say someone lost? write a name on it similar to that one and go with it

say you saw her a few times and heard someone say her name something like that so you could return said item but no results

you assumed they needed it so you went out of your way to find out who they were so you could return it
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>>34899470
>burying searches
I'm sorry, how long have you been retarded?
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>>34899370
Hey I live in the same dorm room as him . I'm sad to say he hung himself. He left his lapeople on. There's a lot of pics of him beating off with rope around his neck...
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>>34899506

Pics or gtfo

fsdc
>>
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>>34899478
You've seen my circumstances.

First time I met her it would've meant I had to stay around for who knows how long for her to come out.

>h-hey anon what are you still doing around
>oh you know, waiting for you to come out so i can ask you out

or the second time during the fire drill when she's in her bahtrobe. yeah let me just jump into a 4 way conversation where i don't know anybody and have no idea if she even recognizes me after 4 months to ask her out.
>>
>>34899506
Really? In the three minutes between this >>34899425 and yours, or is that guy a faggot pretending to be OP? Because I find it more likely than you are a faggot pretending to be his room mate
>>
>>34899503
About 9 weeks. But no you can do it , many fields of data will be stored and you just have to search for a name a week. Just search for courses and then the occasional name. It doesnt look at bad then.
>>
OP you could not go to the meeting. Worst case scenario you get fired?

If you go to the meeting and say some dumb autistic shit you could be referred to the police. I imagine it is illegal to abuse peoples privacy by going through their personal info.
>>
>>34899425
Just tell the truth in a way that doesn't frame you like a stalker. There's a fine line between stalking and romance, and you need to make it look genuine.

You seriously didn't think they'd know you were abusing their systems? Do you not understand how information protection works? There are laws for this shit Anon.
>>
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>>34899338
>Anon, you have searched 450 different names and words today, that is more than the entire department has in the past 2 years combined
You probably did research about the info of a person more than the police and detectives combined.

>inb4 you get hired by the police for your autistic research willpower

>>34899425
>I might just have to tell the truth.
You'll sound very dangerous to normies and word will spread around. Everybody will know you're that creepy dude and she will probably call the cops whenever she spots you. You better think of something up that would work.

Not that ruining your chances with her would be a big thing. She's probably not even interested in you in the first place. Your biggest priority is defending your job and reputation.
>>
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>>34899554
it s graphic warned u
>>
>>34899624
He needs to play it off as innocently searching up a girl's name who he got along with. It's an experience a lot of guys have had. Lying about it would be obvious as fuck and make him look like a nutcase. He has to play it down.
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>>34899656
dammn probbly why he had that pepe cartoon hanging himself
fuck dude
>>
>>34899591
>search for a name a week
that isn't what you said originally but this new idea would only take ~9 years
>>
>>34899666
nice trip duds .. sad he killed himself....
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>>34899666

Yeah, if he can make it look cute I could see this working.

If he is anywhere near as autistic as he sounds by this thread, then he is fucked.
>>
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>>34899617
>>34899624
>>34899666
really gets my neurons firing up knowing that i'm fucked either way

>>34899656
>implying i'm a nigger
>>
>>34899545
Absolutely do not tell them that you were looking for a girl. Lives have been ruined for far less.
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>>34899656
Fuck! Any sauce?
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>>34899715
his face turned blue from no oxygen.
damn cant beleive he ded
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>>34899666
>doing hours and hours of autistic researching for one girl
>It's an experience a lot of guys have had
>...the experience to find more info about a girl that lives in the same building as the user
Nice trips tho.
>>
>>34899686
Well it would give him time to refine his search criteria.
>>
>>34899338
>>34899338

JEEZ, and I thought it was something bad.

Tell them exactly why you did it and make sure they understand that you understand how wrong it looks. But you did it for the love, bla bla, waaay too shy, bla bla hihi hehe, you understand how this might get you fired, bla bla...

If you consider yourself a manlet and want to become a man instead- be just that for once in your life and stop trying to get ahead by cutting corners in life.

By avoiding what you feel is really difficult you only get yourself in the position to look for solutions that might feel more "comfortable", but ultimately take way more time and effort accomplish.

This should be a lesson to you. I know I had mine.
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>>34899751
It just happens to be that he was stupid enough to get caught. He can make a virtual joke out of it.

I expect they have a policy of discussing stuff like this to make sure he's not an insane killer.
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>>34899748

Hey faggot. Pics or fuck off
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>>34899715

Tell them you wrote a program and connected it to the DB and were running searches to test its accuracy, though a bot was doing it.
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>>34899862

What if they want to see the program?
>>
holy fuck there is a ton of terrible advice in this thread

good luck OP try to do things that are less dumb than the things you've already done
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>>34899907
i can actually write that.... i pulled all the emails before i left work and just realized how stupid i was because i could've done that beforehand and did all the searching at home where i'm not monitored....

anyway... i have a database to work with. and i can actually try to write a script to do that.

and i also have time to try and find HER. might aswell after all of this work.

of course i censored the fuck out of it.
>>
>>34899907
Write it, of course.
>>
>>34899989

I know nothing about programming, but wouldnt they also have the search times?
A program wouldnt need 6 hours
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>>34900087
I could probably make some shit up about it being inefficient. Or adding a delay so I don't kill the system.

Or say that I searched a few terms with it and then did more work on it before running it again.

holy fuck that was genius. this is actually gonna work.

on a different note. i just found the emailing list for her entire course but i can't find her on it.

what the fuck she's a student here she should have a student email address
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>>34900123
Maybe you hallucinated her Anon.
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>>34899862
stupid idea, if they look at the searches he was obviously looking for someone specific

OP just tell them the truth, it's not even that bad
>>
>>34900176
It was a different year.

They never cleaned this shit up.

I have like 60k accounts here and hundreds of mailing lists.
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>>34899989
>i pulled all the emails before i left work and just realized how stupid i was
nigger.

You realize that they're probably going to be way more pissed about this than you searching 350 times?

Don't tell them you did this if they don't already know.
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>>34900341
They don't know. That's where I got cautious
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>>34899338
>Anon, you have searched 450 different names and words today, that is more than the entire department has in the past 2 years combined. This is a very sensitive issue and I was forced to contact the HR department. We would like to have a talk with you first thing tomorrow morning.


keeeeeek
Thread posts: 57
Thread images: 12


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