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/britfeel/

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Thread replies: 520
Thread images: 64

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The true OP image edition

>get advance payment from UC
>supposed to do 5 hours a day job search
>wtfimpossible.exe
>used advance payment go away for a couple days anyway

Jokes on them for I start a job in 11 days anyway
>>
What are you lads listening to?
As usual I'm listening to Redgum.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bL62Bx9zuE
>>
Phew.. That thread trasfer was a little too exciting for me. Gonna have to have a rest .
>>
>>34888557
>supposed to do 5 hours a day job search

You're supposed to, but they never hold you to that standard.

Simply say that you did and it's enough - it's then their onus to prove you're lying (nearly impossible and takes took long)
>>
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who else trying to get hunky?
I'm sick of being a flab-bag.
My oneitis only like dudes with six packs. ;_;
I'm tired of chads getting my pussy.
IT'S MINE
>>
who wants to lend me some money then?
>>
>>34888642
me lad. i have a completely different routine though.

got a pretty decent body atm but i feel too skinny, maybe i am just insecure? i dont know. i find it hard to get big with out getting fat.
>>
>>34888607
sad valentines day shit. still not over my feels ;_;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Fi6zb8luxo
>>
The ramen noodles I bought have no flavour so I thought I'd be a mad man and put another flavouring sachet in the mix and some salt. Tastes awful tbqh lads
>>
Day 4 of 7 on my neet week off.

All i've been doing is watching tv shows and movies. What the fuck am i supposed to do ?
>>
>>34888558
I have no connections and have no interested in venturing outside simply to acquire drugs when i can do it online (albeit at an inflated price)

>>34888578
>if i ruled the country, i would force you to join the army, enter a training scheme, or work voluntary.

Too bad your kind will never rule this country then eh lad? Despite everything Britain is very left leaning. Good luck trying to convince the public to agree to sending someone diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety into the fucking army.
>>
This is weird but does anyone remember a channel 4 documentary from years ago where an alcoholic tries to go cold turkey and then starts to almost die on camera. Then the paramedics have to get called and they give him a beer and he just inhales the full pint in 1 second
>>
>>34888666
holy fuck r u the devil?
who cares about getting fat? it's just added resistance and thermal insulation.
I JUST WANT TO GET STRONK.
bulking is supposed to help, rite?
>>
Check out this gem I found while applying to KFC. This is a minimum wage part time job mind with no requirements.

>The Ideal Candidate Are you a bright, spirited person who loves to get stuck in, ask questions and support the people around you? Better still, are you energetic, do you like to smile and have fun together, even when things get tough? Loads of different people make KFC what it is today (the most popular chicken restaurant in Britain!) and they all play a huge part in our success from the Managing Director to our cooks. So how KFC are you? Have a look http://kfccareers.co.uk/how-kfc-are-you

Is someone paid to write this shite?
>>
>>34888642
waste of time considering i'm a 5'4 manlet.
>>
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>>34888649
How much do you want, goy?
>>
>>34888607
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH7wbYfNL78
>>
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>>34888680
you twat. boil the noodles and fry it in the sachet powder with some veggies and oil n shit. fuck.
don't add salt, use garlic powder, turmeric, or something like that. damn.
>>
>>34888708
it's to discourage the sort of people from here from applying
>>
>>34888708
>do you like to smile and have fun together, even when things get tough?
kek, good find
>>
>>34888642
Exercise bores the ever living shit out of me
>>
>>34888726
I'm living off a diet of instant noodles, do you think I can afford all that shit
>>
>>34888711
grrr, stop chatting shit... go lift some heavy shit RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Preferably your own bodyweight. Do some pressups and squats. Alternate, rest, repeat.
>>
how the fuck to you talk to girls? I've had some matches on tinder but I have no idea what to say.
>>
>>34888714
I need 2000
>>
>>34888704
>who cares about getting fat? i

it looks shit though. i do it to get strong and look good, bit of both. if i done it solely to beat up people, i would take up mma instead
>>
>>34888693
are you in the countryside or what?
would you like some pointers on acquiring dank goods?
>>
>>34888523
I mainly wear undersized novelty t shirts from 10 years ago and one pair of jeans. Also only have one pear of shoes, they're New Balance. Play to my strengths? guess i could go for the shrek look if i get a bit bigger.
>>
>>34888762
2000? Who do you want 1000 for? I can't believe you want 500. Oy vey, 100, it's too much!
>>
>>34888773
I'm in a shitty town of a population of 75,000

But go on, if i can get some cheap cheese i'd be willing to catch a bus
>>
>>34888760
The trick is to talk to them like you do your mates
>>
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>>34888748
you dumbass, veggies are like 1 pund for a bag of them. That's comparable to instant noodles.
get thee to a market.
>>
>>34888642
I'm coming at it from a different angle: spending a month-ish on doing 20 mins on the threadmill, 8x3x15, bit of everything (typically 3x upper body, 3xlower) Then a cooldown on the elliptical. I'm doing 15 to reintroduce exercise. I prefer lifting heavier but spending a month on conditioning first. Then I'll probably do split days again too. It's going to take about until the end of March to get my body fat down. Not too long really.
>>
>>34888795
>"there was no romance there at all. We just didn't click. We're better off as friends"
>>
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>>34888760
start with "hey sexy, what you upto?"

>>34888770
yeah, tru dat. but srsly, do cardio or something if you want RIPPLAN MUSSELS
>>
>order chinese last night because fuck it, its valentines day
>have the shits really bad today
Now I remember why I don't get takeaways often
>>
>>34888813
Then it wasn't meant to happen tbqh, you'll be cuckzoned either way. You just move on to someone else, if you're getting tinder matches it shouldn't be hard
>>
>>34888795
Oh cool. Didn't know this. Can't wait to know who they main in melee and who their favourite pony is
>>
>>34888795
but I don't have any mates
>>
>>34888833
what was the name of your takeaway place anon?
>>
>>34888808
Can you send us a couple of woolly hats when you're done mate? All that threadmill time is bound to produce more than you need.
>>
alright lads. im the lad who got chucked out of his house by his mum, and then ended up on the streets when my gran chucked me out too.

got some good news. the council have found a nice little studio flat for me. and it looks like im going to get some generous bennies too because they said that the reason i got chucked out is enough to qualify me.

really good news. looking forward to just chilling for the rest of my days.
>>
>>34888740
I felt this way too, but a good way to keep you going is watch something on TV/Youtube/Whatever to keep your mind occupied.
>>
>>34888780
WUT.
What style are you aiming for, exactly?
Get some nice cheap clothes from china off ebay, or go to some cheapie trash clothes shop in the mall and get some
1) black trousers or ambiguous pants.
2) shirt-y things. should have collar/buttons.
3) some shoes/boots/smart footwear or nice flat trainers. should be dark.
4) other stuff

You need smarter clothes. Not formal, but just smart-ER.
>>
>>34888872
Nice one lad.

Was in same situation, it's nice to have your own place to be a lazy neet in.

Just make sure to keep up on benie requirements
>>
>>34888820
>do cardio

probs will in the future when i have strengthened my legs. if i done cardio now my legs would be too sore and i want to get strong legs
>>
>>34888883
Cheap clothes just look cheap.

You need to buy expensive clothes to look good.

If you can't afford to buy expensive things then your life is a fucking mess, sort it out.
>>
>>34888808
yah man, go for it! hardcore, keep it up.
Pushing heavy weights naturally increases your breath capacity and stuff too. We'll get there in the end :p
>>
>>34888883
Thanks for the tips. I'll look into getting some better clothes eventually. Just poor as shit atm. Basically just making do with what I have. I do want to start dressing like an adult. atm i look like a fat teenager with a bad dadhead
>>
>>34888913
Tk Maxx is your friend there. Also mail order stuff like Charles Tyrwhitt for shirts etc. Or just wait for the sales and buy everything in one go. I tend to do a mixture of both, I absolutely hate clothes shopping.
>>
Laddios, let me tug on your coat about something.

I've been on with the abstinence for 45 days. I was aiming for Easter. However, I'd got a caveat at the back of my mind: if my gf was away for two nights in a row or longer, I would drink again for that time. There was no reasonable expectation that it would happen and certainly not so soon. However, in about a month's time exactly such a scenario will come to pass.

I'm not made up as to whether I'm going to do it or not.

Plusses:
- It's what I had in mind to do albeit not when I inteded to do it
- I'll feel good for a while, I'll experience catharsis and for a rare span I might actually feel happy
- No one need know
- It won't harm my diet particularly

Minuses:
- I would know that I'd done it
- It would likely reset the dependency cravings
-It doesn't fit into my self-improvement plans and could possibly trigger a relapse
>>
>>34888913
>>34888928
Any suit looks better tailored. A cheap suit that's been tailored looks better than an expensive suit that hasn't.
>>
>>34888913
You are a fucking dumbass and extremely fucking wrong. (source: t. me)
You just need to shop around, and pay attention to the fabric, stitiching, and pairing/complementing different parts of your outfit so as to take attention away from lacking areas. Just like life really.
If you see enough variety you will eventually find something that looks good and is cheap.
You probably wants something like 5 to 20 pounds per article of clothing. A lot is luck in shopping desu but ebay makes things easier. Try looking for jeans around a tenner.
Also, keep up to date on online deals. You can get good shit when its on sale. You just need to shop around. With home delivery, it's easier than you think.
>>
>>34888949
>Tk Maxx

All the lines that no one wanted to buy because they look awful.

>>34888979
>5 to 20 pounds per article of clothing

Pfffffff! You must look like absolute shit.
>>
>>34888979
i want to put my willy in your bum
>>
Anyone else find it difficult to finish games?
I'm o my fifth playthrough of LA Noire and I still haven't finished it
>>
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Any other white lads got hairy hands and fingers?

not sure if i should shave them desu
>>
>>34888913
Cheap clothes are fine as long as you shop around. My tip is to not buy cheap black jeans, they will fade in about 2 washes
>>
Just got a tech support call to ask if I could help the accountants kid crop his fuckin meme picture.

And on the way back I stepped in fuckin gum. Why was that shit in the middle of the office.
>>
>>34888979
Buying jeans for a tenner is a mistake. Almost all of the jeans i've bought which cost less than 20 gbp looked like shit, were thin as hell and ripped within a year. Invest in a pair for at least 30gbp but ideally more. You don't need that many pair of jeans and the expensive ones will look better and last longer.
>>
>>34888920
Well you know, what I've found is that doing cardio drops off in a big hurry but increases the same way. Last time I did a consistent three months training my personal best was 11k over the course of 70 minutes. I'm back up to 3k now, and it'll get back up there. Already at the point where muscle fatigue is becoming more of an issue than being out of breath so it's looking good.
>>
>>34889011
I have easily spent thousands of hours on GSG's and not once have I ever played a campaign to the end.
>>
>>34888702
hahahah what the fuck that sounds hilarious
>>
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>tfw buying clothes from charity shop like a pleb

I'm not gonna make it lads
>>
>>34889038
Decent jeans are 150 quid minimum.
>>
>>34888905
SQUATS

>>34888853
Yes, you have us. Practice. You WILL improve.

>>34888846
fucken kek

>>34888963
don't fucken touch me m8.
If you want to know what I think, I think you should work out or something, maybe do some creative writing or go for a walk in nature.
NATURAL HIGH BRAH

>>34888869
my sides :p
>>
>>34889024
I disagree tbqh lad, I only buy NEXT jeans for 20-30 quid and i've had the same pairs for almost 2 years now
>>
>>34889063
It's smart lad, barnados near me does 2 quid per item. Shit's great.
>>
>>34889063
Charity shops are all the rage now, no joke
>>
>>34888642
I'm doing couch to 5k, mostly for therapeutic reasons, but it'd be nice to lose some weight as well (I'm 6ft, 200 pounds). Though I'm not sure how much weight can be lost through just jogging/running and avoiding snacking outside of meals.
>>
>>34889068
I am already working out. Diet and exercise in tandem when I'm not working.
>>
>>34889089
As if some fucking nobody neet in the middle of nowhere would know what is "all the rage".
>>
>>34889100
>Though I'm not sure how much weight can be lost through just jogging/running and avoiding snacking outside of meals.

Burn more calories than you take in.

Weight loss is simply that.

nutrition and being healthy on the other hand is much more complicated
>>
I just wear band shirts and jeans like 99% of the time I'm not in work. Gets the job done.
>>
>>34888760
if you don't know what to say its cos theyre boring.
>>
>>34889052
Would also like to see that. Makes sense I guess, withdrawals can literally kill you
>>
>>34889106
Charity shops have been hot ever since macklemore chap

>>34889127
5'5 14 stone. Overweight to be sure
>>
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>>34889009
>Pfffffff! You must look like absolute shit.
not really.

>>34889010
I am sure that will work out for you.

>>34889011
Who gives a fuck. Grow up and make your own games. It's way more fun.

>>34889024
seconded. Unless you like that kind of thing (I do :p)

>>34889038
I will post pics to prove you wrong if you want to argue. I literally have, like, 5 pairs of jeans I got for a tenner or less. 3 of them from shopping centre, 3 of them off ebay, I think from china or sum shit

>>34889044
for real, impressive, but lift weights or your muscles will shrink. Just saying. Don't be skelly.
I can't do much cardio, certainly not as much as you. I wish I could tho.

>>34889063
post pics? might be okay if you use it correctly
>>
>>34889023
I've got proper hairy feet and toes. They look like hobbit feet. Seriously the worst feet going.
>>
>>34889139
Post a photo of your outfit right now, timestamped.

I guarantee you look like shit and you are just too autistic to realise.
>>
>>34889136
>5'5 14 stone. Overweight to be sure
Yeah, you are overweight. Probably closer to obese. I am 6'2 and just under 15 stone, and I am definitely overweight
>>
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>mfw I forgot LA Noire was limited to 30 fps
>>
>>34889136
Which was fucking years ago.

The charity shop fad is long dead.
>>
>>34889146
I shave my feet because of the hobbit meme.

Just unsure on the hands, part of me thinks it's manly, but it also can make you seem like a knuckledragger neanderthal also
>>
>>34889100
drink water and eat raw veggies every day. Carrots, cucumbers and tomatoes, with skin (washed ofc)
Tomatoes are good for yer heart.
Cucumbers are watery as fuck.
Carrots got carotene and shit. N U T R I T I O N
Water = increase metabolism

>>34889106
hey, fuck you buddy
>>
>>34889023
my body's covered in hair lad
>>
>>34889166
I remember a time when it was frowned upon to be buying clothes from charity shops
>>
>>34889120
How many calories does an adult male burn off passively each day anyway?
>>
>>34889136
definatly overweight m8 im 6'2"@11.8 stone, the perfect weight for the height
>>34889157
you fat fucker where do you put the 3 extra stone
>>
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>>34889154
Nothin personal kid. I bet you feel embarrassed now.
>>
>>34889154
I put some pants on because of this post.
I was lying in bed in boxers/vest
Then I realised I don't need to prove it to you.
GOT BARE STYLEZ SENPAI U DON'T KNOW ME
>>
>>34889208
http://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html
>>
>>34889208
Google TDEE. That will give you how many calories you need to stay the way you are. For weight loss, subtract 500 from that number and stick to that amount of calories.

The concept is very straightforward, but sticking to it is hard. Alcohol for example is full of calories and fuckes up diets.
>>
>>34889139
Never gotten the motivational picture meme. Never really done anything for me.
>>
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>>34889023
Nope, I'd hate to have hairy hands.
>>
>>34889208
M E T A B O L I S M
How does it work?
(hint: you can activate and inhibit metabolic processes via activity/nutrition)
>>
>>34889213
I know man. Mostly round the middle, go to the gym every day now and count my calories so hopefully I will be back to normal soon.
>>
>>34889214
>he didn't change his clothes once in months of weight loss
>>
>>34889250
F E M I N I N E H A N D S

You gonna tug me off lad?
>>
>>34889245
more like self-hypnosis desu.
You create a mind in the image of your thoughts, a life in the image of your actions.
You just need the right angle. There are many different memes.
>>
>>34889245
It doesn't do anything for anyone really. Just makes people feel like they're working towards productivity without actually having to do anything real. If you really want results, you make a plan and you follow that plan day in day out. Discipline is the only meme worth anything.
>>
>>34889250
Those ladies need a bit of nail polish, sweetheart.
>>
>>34889250
I have the choice lad, can simply shave them if i feel like it.

You however are stuck with those dainty elastic bands for life
>>
Didn't think I'd make it this far
I only need to remain awake for another 60 minutes
>>
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LOL this is totally you guys. Clean your shit up. If you don't want to be fat, or fucked up, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
I'm tired of shouting at you cunts.
PUSH SOME FUCKEN IRON RITE NOW.
NO EXCUSES. DO STAR JUMPS AND KNEE HIGHS. SALAD AND FRUIT FOR BREAKFAST ERRYDAY
>>
>>34889319
You trying to reset your sleep pattern? Why not stay awake until like 10 if so? It'll be well worth it but feel like hell.
>>
>>34889233
>>34889243
Thank you lads.
I don't drink alcohol, so I should be good on that front.
>>
>>34889354
No, I have a doctors appointment at 4:15
>>
>>34888686
smoke weed

aoerfmao[eifaepofkapwofkwpfokwerpfoiwepfoewrfpokmowefpom
>>
>>34889363
Want to increase metabolism? Don't spend all day on your arse. It makes your body sedentary/hibernative.
>>
>>34889353
All of this helps to an extent. Exercising and eating healthy healthy provides a base for your life. I mean, you're in your body 24 hours a day, surely spending an hour maintaining it is well worth it. But don't be fooled and think that this alone will fix you. If you're autistic or a social mess it won't help. It might draw people in if you look good enough but once they talk to you they'll think you're just overcompensating for your lack of personality. Focus on your brain as well kids.
>>
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>>34889250
>no hair
>perfect nails

No scars also, never been in a good punch up? you must be a right bender
>>
>>34889408
You've got weird hobbit hands mate.

bet they smell funny
>>
cup of tea time lads. still a bit hung over desu
>>
>>34889353
>posts an exercise regime for women
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuX5_OWObA0

Want this to play at my funeral lads
>>
>>34889459
Well fuck you.

>>34889455
concur
>>
>>34889435
you're just jealous of his masculine hands. when women see them hands they think "i want that hairy finger inside me".
>>
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>>34889408
better than being a fat fuck
>>
>>34889435
>bet they smell funny
Wouldn't be wrong there lad

>>34889475
This anon gets it
>>
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>>34888629
Can't decide if I'm insane or you guys are.
>>
>>34889459
Exercising like a woman will be the better choice for you long-term. Its nice to get big and strong and ripped but over time it'll affect your joints and have a negative impact on your body. Human bodies aren't made to bear weight. They're suppose to be flexible, fast, able to endure long repetitive actions.
>>
>>34889250
Bad mix desu, not masculine but not fem either. Numale level.
>>
>>34889502
>fast, able to endure long repetitive actions
which requires muscle, retard
>>
>>34889517
obviously, but not muscle to the extent which bodybuilders gain. A lean body is the idea body.
>>
>>34889537
who is talking about pumping themselves full of roids so they can roll a 2 tonne stone ball up a hill?
>>
>>34889537
>A lean body is the idea body.

that is what a women would say

it seems we have a spy in here

im watching you. i bet you're from tumblr, come to check how privileged men are. GET OUT
>>
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quit arguin and start working out motherfuckers
that body aint gunna move itself
>>
>>34889549
sisyphus leave
>>
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>tfw started to rain
>tfw wanted to go for a walk
>tfw stuck in East Devon
>>
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>parents expect me to get over my anxiety and depression that I've held for years, just two weeks after my suicide attempt
>they expect me to write up a CV and start applying for jobs again, with their help
I've JUST gotten a prescription for anti-depressants, I'm not exactly in the right mind to be talking positively about myself in my CV, or talk in a pressurized situation like an interview, am I?
>>
>Trying to write a CV
>Almost finished writing down everything that is both a) true and b) necessary for an employer to know.

And it's barely half a page long. How the fuck is this supposed to fill out two sides of A4?
>>
>>34889606
just let it go
you're not a special snowflake
>>
>>34889613
pad it with waffle
>>
>>34889613
>two sides of A4
That is where you fail, anon. A CV should only be 1 page (not including your personal statement).
>>
do you guys always bitch at EACH OTHER?
"you're fat fuck"
"you're gay"
"you're feminine"
FFS work together or be destroyed by feels.
Also, dress nicely, work out, and model your life as a hero in your own story.
Stop fighting each other, fight your ego, look after yourself, eat properly and move your body like the sexy beast you were made to be, like your ancestors were, like you know you can, and do it better, yeah, do it better than. DO EET.

ITT: too many britfeels, nothing productive. make something of your life you can be proud of.
>>
>>34889625
>personal statement
What's this?

Why do I need to write a manifesto to mop floors?
>>
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>>34889482
>fat fuck

Maybe, would still put you on your arse though you gassed fanny.

bulldog breed > effeminate lanky cuck
>>
>>34889606
it's okay. tell them you "just need a little time"
>>
>>34889636
>muh feels

This isn't reddit you wallowing piece of shit.
>>
>>34889606

> So anon, tell us about a time you experienced difficulty in life and how did you respond to it?

You're gonna have a great time in the interview.
>>
>>34889636
>like your ancestors were
I'm pretty sure my ancestors were emaciated serfs.
>>
>Last Jobs Coach was a massive cunt
>New Jobs Coach is thick as a brick

Things are looking up I suppose
>>
>>34889640
>would still put you on your arse
I already am.

With laughter.
>>
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>been to the toilet more than any other day in my life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJRR3Ltm_sw
Post waifus.
>>
>>34889655
who's wallowing? GROW THE FUCK UP.
This isn't babbys first thread. This is supposed to be something meaningful. If not, britfeel will no longer continue.
Also, ad hominem makes you look like a dork. And it's unwitty. Just say what you want to say, I'm not judging you bro
p.s. I'm assuming ur all dudes, cus only guys could make this much of a nothing-shit-fuck-up out of something
>>
thinking about writing some edgy some stuff for my essay but worried that the person who makes it will think i am a nazi and purposefully fail me
>>
>>34889665
I should become a Job Coach and just give robots mad bennies.
>>
What do I put in the skills section of my CV?
>>
>>34889698
Proficiency in languages, coding, professional software, machinery, vehicles, tools etc.
>>
>>34889673
enjoy it chap, still doesn't change anything.

I'm going to assume you're middle class coddled trust fund babby with hands like those?
>>
>>34889606
What does your current day to day routine look like? They probably can't sympathize with you because they've been through your specific type of problems. To them depression is something caused by the external, so they're trying to give you the same steps they themselves would follow. If its caused by something internal though, the source of the problems are a lot harder to figure out and overcome. It sounds like they're looking out for you though, maybe just talk with them and explain you appreciate them trying to help but you aren't in the right state of mind at the moment.

Overall though, if you're a NEET at the moment, doing anything will probably help you deal with your issues better. I know that I was more confident, happy etc, when i had a job. Now that i'm not doing anything i'm depressed as hell. One thing that has helped is going the gym everyday, the exercise meme as it turns out, is actually real. It provides a kind of snowball effect in mood and productivity. It teaches discipline without thought, since its such a simple process. Would recommend.

I'm probably just talking shit though, projecting, have nothing to go off and am basically just discussing my own personal issues but pretending i'm discussing yours. Good luck
>>
>>34889698
Professional self pleasurer
>>
Accidentaly just quoted using
>
in a normie chat. I don't think they noticed though.
>>
>>34889724
You're... you're a fucking idiot.
It's a standard in quotation online, every email uses it.
>>
>>34889728
Not in 2017 they don't.
>>
>>34889698
What kind of jobs do you want to apply for?
What can you do?
What have you done in the past? (not professional, can be for fun or whatever)
What are your hobbies/interests?
What are you like as a person, what do you prefer to do, and what do you not like?
>>
>>34889714
I'm a different guy.

I'm just LMAOing @ ur life. Your fists are literally spherical, the only digs you're giving are into all the pies.
>>
>>34889728
I've never seen anyone use it outside of here and occasionally reddit. And if they do it gets formatted. It just came out as > in this.

Also "this is how most people quote now"
>>
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alright guys, here's a first draft for me cv

let me know what you think
>>
>>34889732
it is, even plebbit uses > to add a quote box to a sentence.
>>
>>34889747
>sarcasm quotes

errrr
>>
>>34889747
*looks in your direction without moving her head*
sheesh... awks...
>>
>>34889748
Half of your page literally doesn't matter to the shitty part-time jobs you're applying to.
>>
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>>34889687

This finger-in-mouth kind of picture gives me funny feelings in my pee-pee
>>
>>34889748
>that politics section

If you actually want a job you should get rid of that or at least cut it down. You're just giving people a reason to dislike you which you shouldn't do. Most people who interview you aren't gonna be reading /pol/
>>
>>34889748
It's fucking shit. You need to lose about 1/3 of the words. Also, you don't need help, judging by your qualifications, you're just lazy as fuck, you toad.
Learn how to make phrases instead of full sentences. Also your writing style is lackluster and unimpressive. Could be worse tho. I would hire you based on your skills alone, leave alone the shitty CV lol
>>
>>34889741
Those aren't skills. I already did that part.

I just some ideas for generic shit to pad out my CV.
>>
can i have a plant as a waifu?
>>
also, you're a piece of trash. UKIP, really?
c'mon guy. no wonder you're inarticulate.
LRN2CULTURE WHITEY
>>
>>34889825
a-are you lost?
>>
>>34889823
Depends what type of plant. If it's a plant girl sure. If it's an actual plant then no.
>>
>>34889748

This has got to be a fucking troll
>>
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>>34889815
you twit, that's what I'm trying to do. Post the answers and I'll show you how to do it for fucking nothing. Geez.
>>
>>34889748
Take off gaming as an interest. you also have a year+ gap of doing nothing from 2015 when you ended uni.

That's the first thing they'll notice.

put some lie like 2015-ongoing; online tradesman, involving writing custom listings for products, handling customer queries and shipping out the items.

all that is a fancy way of saying you sold some shit on ebay
>>
>>34889823
sure if it's something like Lillymon
>>
>>34889779
I want to stick my black cock in her mouth
>>
>>34889847
>We'd just like to review your feedback, write your username here please
>>
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>tfw no will to do anything
>>
>>34889832
I thought, "Hey, I wonder how those guys in Britfeel are doing, I bet they're sad cus they don't have any revolution, better take some radicalism to them OH WAIT THEY'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS NOTHING TO SEE HERE BYE"
>>
>>34889748
>Only one job, being a paperboy like 10 years ago
>Gaming as an interest
And worst of all
>that politics section

You better realize that even though the education section is pretty tight that's going straight into the trash.
>>
>>34889874
cya later then
>>
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i've only got 40 quid to last me the rest of the month and all i wanna do is buy shit rrreeeeeeeEE
>>
Do any of you lads have experience getting nudes off interpals qts?

I'm speaking to a few, especially one from Taiwan. We like chatting but idk how the fuck I can progress to a more romantic phase
>>
>>34889748
remove any mention of exactly which way you lean politically but keep the parts about you gwtting off your arse and doing stuff.

imagine if your boss is gonna be a paki or a libtard and sees you support fucking UKIP
>>
>>34889890
not likely i only apply to civil service these days
>>
>>34889881
No you twit, you just won't see me, and you'll be stuck here doing the same stupid shit you've always done.
>>
>>34889869
>sure thing
>write in someone elses account name

Not fucking hard lad.
>>
>>34889874
I mean I know it's probably bait but if it's not calm down mate. I'm far left but you gotta understand that this is largely a far right site. If you want to try and get a point across thats not how you're gonna do it.
>>
>>34889907
*attacks you viciously from behind biting at your ear*
REEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>34889888
be forward.
"You look sexy... can I see your XYZ?"
"You have a great figure. Do you dancing" etc.
"You have such a beautiful XYZ, can I see more"
>>
>>34889859
Post pics pls
bbcbloc
>>
>>34889922
>Indian pick up lines
>>
>>34889921
Ow. Thats not very nice is it.
>>
>>34889922
>you have a great figure do you dancing?

this is why you never ask britfeel for advice
>>
>>34889922
de ye like dancin, come here luvy, ave a chip
>>
>>34889922
Sounds like something Rasheed writes on pornhub vids
>>
>>34889922
We're more friendly than that honestly, it sounds a bit creepy when most of the time we just talk about our respective days

She sent some really cute face pics, I said she looked cute and she said I looked nice back, but that's the extent of it. She's a fucking virgin and everything, I just don't want to creep her out
>>
>>34889907
fair enough m8, I'm not trying to rile anyone, genuinely came here to help you lot out, and all I get is "post pics" and contradictions.
I don't need that shit. I just want to make you lot NOT PATHETIC. Is it impossible? I am trying, but this is only like my *counts* 10th or so time in britfeel. I must say, I was not impressed, and am still not. Still, I would like to see you guys succeed in life, so I keep coming back (for some reason)
>>
Do any of you lads get an intense burning/stinging senstation all over your upper body when you get slightly hot or move too much/too quickly?

It's fucking up my life, I can't lift or run any more. I can't even fucking walk fast without sperging out due to the pain.
>>
I can't get motivated lads. My plans to join the army were obliterated and now I'm fucked. The only work experience I have is being a teaching assistant in a primary school for a week (which was hell on earth) and a residential I did for the army, where I went out into the hills for a week and did uncomfortable army stuff.

No-one wants to hire a twat with this experience. All I can do is apply for jobs online and sit around the house waiting to hear that I've been rejected again.
>>
>>34889922
You've never seen a girls Tinder inbox have you?
they LITERALLY (as in literally, not figuratively) have hundreds of matches saying that shit to them.
>>
>>34889978
It means you're getting close. You need to try and hold that pain when you get it, for at least a good minute. Then when the time is right and the pain is almost unbearable release it. Then you will turn super saiyan.
>>
>>34889978
Yeah, that doesn't sound right. Go see a doctor mate.
>>
>>34889978
See the fucking doctor mate.
>>
>>34889925
Lol, I'm Punjabi (Indian to you), London born and raised.
Prolly get more play than you, cunt.
>>34889936
FFS all girls do dancing, even the fat ugly ones, BECAUSE THEY LOVE SHOWING OFF.
You probably never get laid. You really DON'T know how to please a woman. Damn.
>>34889942
Hey fuck you, if she has a nice body, nearly 100% she does something sexy with it.
Also, fuck you.
NOTE HOW IT IS AN EXAMPLE. IF YOU WRITE SHOW ME YOUR XYZ THAT WON'T WORK YOU TWAT. YOU MUST USE YOUR OWN WORDS. I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU UNDRESS, JUST GIVING IDEAS, YOU UNCREATIVE, NOT-GETTING-LAID FUCKS
>>
>>34889985
>matches
>I can't even get one match
>>
>>34890018
Getting a little defensive there Pajeet.
>>
>>34890035
a-are you a girl?

pls be in glasgow
>>
>>34890000
Digits of truth. I will no longer resist the urge to scream in pain.

>>34890009
>>34890012
Will do as soon as I'm not in an nocturnal phase. I was just wondering if any robots have experience the same thing.
>>
Alright lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUqcBwQjj4k

Get that weekend feeling on, it starts tonight.
>>
>>34890018
>Punjabi
POO
IN
THE
LOO

You filthy boy.
>>
>>34890018
ooooh, thats lovely luvy, keep twirling that sexy body. oooh thats right, come ere and get some gravy for your chip
>>
>>34889985
It's about styling it out you moron.
If you're so fucking creative, you shouldn't need any advice.

>>34889978
Meditate on the pain lad. It'll make you stronger.

>>34889984
Cheer up mate. You're decent sort. You'll make it yet.
>>
>>34889846
Okay.
>What kind of jobs do you want to apply for?
Part time ones that pay minimum wage. But I've scoped out a few that pay a little more than minimum wage. Most of them are just jockeying a till but there's a few about cooking and cleaning.

>What can you do
Use a computer, calmly deal with dickhead customers, clean floors, cook food, write essays.

>What have you done in the past? (not professional, can be for fun or whatever)
Up until last week I was working at a call centre.

>What are your hobbies/interests?
Reading depressing literature.
Writing poems and stories.
Studying history and philosophy.
Cooking
Trying to play music.
Learning German.

>What are you like as a person, what do you prefer to do, and what do you not like?
I'm a very quiet and sensitive person. I like to spend most of my time doing the above, as well as shitposting on 4chan and having the sesh. I don't like being around large groups of people, being at the centre of attention, or people commenting on my autism. That really hurts my feelings.
>>
>>34890044
I hate to break it to you but its Wednesday.
>>
>>34890044
it's wednesday you berk
>>
>>34890044
But its Wednesday lad. Proper tune that though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF0ZIECM7_0
>>
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>>34890067
>>34890069
Wagies need not apply, hahahahaha it's the WEEKEND FOR ME
>>
>>34890061
>I was working at a call centre.
What variety?
>>
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>>34889687
got up at 11.30 and did almost 5 hours of kinda good uni work. Pretty good day so far.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVpusRc3xjk
>>34889978
i keep getting lightheaded and falling over when i get up quickly now hahah.
>>
>>34890036
For sure. You guys massacred my people, not even 30 years ago.

>>34890049
Ur mum

>>34890050
yep, that's the way to be sexy alright. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be fine. Good road you're heading down, MATE.
>>
>>34889984
get on those bennies mate. Learn a trade or try to think of a good business idea and apply to the princes trust for help getting it started in the meantime
>>
>>34890061
>I was working at a call centre
Was it an upper class one though?
>>
>>34889847
>Unironically using the words 'online tradesman' as a fancy way to to describe selling on ebay

Lol.
>>
>Girl tells me ask her out (more or less)
>I don't

F-f-fucking roasties.... right lads?

Im going to kill me
>>
>>34890104
he's got a year+ gap in his CV, he's got to bullshit it somehow.

what would you do then?
>>
welp.
JC advisor wasn't in today
hope he's in tomorrow, I'm rapidly running out of petrol

this is fucking bollocks
>>
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Life becomes so much less stressful when you realise the only thing you have to do is survive.

All that other stuff people pretend is required like a job, a wife, kids, holidays is all bullshit. There's nothing you have to do with your life other than survive, all that shit you're worried about doesn't matter. You don't need to do anything.
>>
>>34890098
Your people shouldn't have been such degenerates.
>>
>>34890086
no, its still wednesday.
>>
>Junlad posts
>Get triggered that I'll never lick his butt while he shitposts
>>
>>34890105
girls are gross and i hate them hahahahahahahahahahaha
>>
>>34890061
HOLY FUCK BATMAN LOOK AT THAT
Write it down in a fancy way, shit you think will be impressive.
Do you want me to help you phrase it nicely?
I think first you should just write first, get feedback after. You seem alright tho.
>>
>>34890088
Inbound calls for an electricity company.

Customers would ring in with problems and we'd sort them out. Or more likely put them on hold and pass the call on to someone else.

>>34890101
I don't understand this meme.
>>
>>34890124
If you're absolutely dying for petrol get a bus. I know it's annoying sitting next to a bunch of old people and children, but it's better than wasting your last few dregs.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1urq4Vb0XM
THREAD THEME
>>
>>34890137
Thanks you seem kinda okay too.
*shuffles towards you discreetly*
>>
>>34890134
stop this fucking disgusting shit

I just want to post my waifu without being lumped in with degenerates like junlad, is that so much to ask
>>
>>34890124
Can't you get money for gas from them?
>>
>>34890061

Literally a CC of every millennial currently unemployed within the UK right now. Good fucking luck even getting an interview.
>>
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>>34890086
>sad twat dancing alone in a bedroom to his laptop on a wednesday night shouting unintelligible gibberish about wagies and the weekend.
>>
>you will never go back to a time when homofaggotry didn't exist in /britfeel/

fbm
>>
>>34890167
What's your waifu, lad?
>>
>>34890122
Just say worked in a different local shop. Co op or whatever.
He can talk about it because he's done it before. Just changes the labels.

If it was me. I'd say supervisor role in store. Looks like you taken more responsibility in a shit job. Employers love it.
If I wasn't posting from my phone I'd post my cv. Which has fake experience and hobbies.
>>
>>34890178
This. It's fucking ridiculous. Even more so when you get automatically rejected by a fucking robot after doing a questionnaire with the vaguest fucking questions and answers.
>>
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>>34890105
CONGRATULATIONS

>>34890129
They were celebrating their holy procession in their own country and the British opened fire with military hardware (machine guns) without warning or reason.
>>
>>34890178
Exactly the problem, my man.

That's why I need you guys to help me out.
>>
>>34890192
what happens when they inevitably want a reference?
>>
>>34890203
I fail to see the problem there friend.
>>
>>34890155
I don't know how buses work
and it's too late to learn
>>
>>34890219
You direct them to me. I've helped out several anons as a reference.
>>
>>34890209
you do realise where you are right? we're all in the same boat if not worse off.

get down to the CAB
>>
>>34890165
okay. Well you seem like a cool dude too.

>>34890185
Move forward, not backwards. We can't change the past, only the future. We can't control the result, only our effort. Just try your best and you'll be alright.
>>
>>34890219
Give them your mate's number and tell him that in a few days he's going to get a call from your new boss so pretend you're also a boss.
>>
>>34890209

Work on that poker face think up some good lies and let the bennies extremely slowly and painfully roll in until you eventually get something.

But seriously, I'd say I put more effort into keeping my jobs coach happy than I do looking for jobs because I know what's going t be more helpful in the long run
>>
>>34890219
If they want a reference. Which I've only had checked once in seven jobs I have had.
Give family or friends or anybody who knows phone number and they can fake it.
Mate. I would give any robot a fake reference for a fiver.
>>
>>34890219
>References

Please refer to 4chan.org/r9k/britfeel/. They will vouch that I am a friendly individual with a prime waifu.
>>
>>34890239

>Alright mate, who's this?
>
>Yes, this is anonboss, anonchans former employer

Flawless
>>
>>34890220
I'm going to pretend like you don't exist, because frankly, you are EXTREMELY annoying.
>>
>>34890239
>neet anon picks up phone
>hiring manager of business answers
>"is this so and so of x business, i'm calling to inquire about anon"
>short silence, then a stuttering voice says "YES, I AM BOSS"
>>
>>34890229
It's easy, you google which buses will get you where you need to go (usually the bus company will have a journey planner). If it's more than two buses to get there, get a day ticket. Where I live they're around 4 pound, or 1.60 for a single.
>>
>>34890236
I was hoping with all the experience many lifetime NEETs here must have from deliberately bombing job applications they might have some insights.
>>
>>34890264
I can vouch for you but I need to know who your waifu is first.
>>
>>34890134
loads of nice guys out there lad, i'm sure you can pretend its me :^)
>>34890167
don't blame me for other peoples posts and desires, though I guess i do encourage degenerate posting.
>>34890203
top banter
>>34890185
homophobe baka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9GhMNESgAI
>>
>>34890272
I love you too Pajeet.
>>
>>34888607
fuck yeah, this is sick. fuckin straya. cheers m8
>>
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Hey look you guys, I know you hate me, or don't care, or whatever, but if you post your problem in a concise way, maybe one of us (me) will try to help you. In any case, a problem shared is a problem halved, and just talking about it is therapeutic and helps you to concentrate on the issues, and being able to phrase it clearly really REALLY helps.
Anyhoo, just putting it out there for you lot :p
>>
>>34890280
I have a lifetime experience of doing as little work as possible and scamming as many government institutions, individuals and business out of enough money and good for me to live comfortably.

I'm not the right person to be asking about doing shit in the normie way, and I doubt anyone else here is either.
>>
>>34890315
I'm having trouble feeling any pleasure when I stick a finger up my bum, can you help?
>>
>>34890292
o-okay. love you too whitey (I assume) scum

>>34890289
BRITFEELS - REVENGE OF PAJEET
>>
was just about to make my tea but there's a voice downstairs I don't recognise

this sucks
>>
>>34890315

I fucking hate my niece, wat do?
>>
>>34890331
make sure to hit the prostate, simply rubbing your anal cavity like a mong isn't going to get you anywhere.

There's a few medical vids on youtube (trying to feel for prostate cancer) to show you proper technique.
>>
>>34890331
no, you are beyond help. perhaps seriously defective. consider being destroyed.
what did you want exactly?
>>
>>34890336
I sexually identify as Indian on account of my inability to use the toilet you cishet heteronormative scum.
>>
>>34890337
Go out the front door and enter through the back to get to the kitchen
>>
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>>34890347
joocy deets?
1. make peace with yourself
2. make peace with her
3. ????
4. profit
>>
>>34890357
If you're offering, a lot of money. Then I could hire a professional to try and stimulate my anus.
>>
>>34890331
Maybe you're just not as gay as you think you are?
>>
>>34890347
How old is she? If she's between 8-13 then it's understandable since thats the shitty little kid phase.
>>
Need a poo but its cold and raining outside
>>
>>34890359
don't live your life by labels. just be the disgusting perverted degenerate you always were, but without judging yourself so harshly. It's beyond words.
>>
The advice anon is in, tell your problems.
>>
>>34890378
Northern Ireland?

I'll give it a root around for 50 quid and potentially travel expenses.
>>
>>34890372

>Joocy deets

She's a baby
I hate babies for some unknown reason
I hate my sister because she's a cunt
That mixture is pure hate

>wat do
>>
>>34890365
my window is an emergency exit
but I don't fancy decending the drain pipe
>>
>>34890380
Impossible, if been called a faggot too many times for there not to be a glimmer of truth.
>>
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>>34889748
>people seriously responding to this

How new

Here's my totally legit CV
>>
>>34890398
I need to go for a poo but it's cold and raining outside.
>>
>>34890378
want me to rim you? are you a sexy chick? might have to stick to finger stuff otherwise, or possibly a robot of some kind (an actual robot, not a chantard)
Why spend it on a professional each time, when you can spend it on a robotics set just once?
>>
>>34890420
The worst thing about this is that it's written in third person.
>>
>>34890404
Edinburgh, so unless you're willing to risk getting stabbed on your way through Glasgow.
>>
>>34889748
p. sure this is the guy who works in the tesco bakery
now we know why
>>
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Oi. Stop this bloody nonsense at once, you lot.
>>
>>34890432
Because I'd feel to autistic ordering a sex toy to be delivered to my place. I feel like the postman would somehow know and judge me.
>>
>>34890416
babies are cute?
give your sister a hug.
I'm not sure how you're getting all this, but if you have serious issues, you should talk it over with the involved parties.
Make a list of things you hate/love about her.
Think of mitigating factors and stuff like that.
If it is irreconcilable, just stay away.
>>
>>34890444
If you're paying I'd chance it.
>>
>>34890398
I feel trapped and isolated. I want to kill myself.
>>
>>34890416
The baby is different to your sister. You have to understand this. Be nice to your niece and try to influence her as she grows up, maybe she won't be a cunt like your sister.
>>
>>34890466
chop off your anus. problem solved.
Or, you know, just try not sticking shit up your ass.
Cover your ass or lose it, buddy.
>>
>>34890489
I can't afford a "professional" locally but I can afford the services and travel expenses of an Irishman. Makes sense to me.
>>
>>34890498
If you chop off your anus you just make a bigger, messier anus.
>>
>>34890490
Where you at? What you do?
What do you want to do? How do you vent?
What escape mechanism? What focus?
Hobbies? Enjoyment? Hates?
>>
>>34890512
Good point, this might help. Brb.
>>
>>34889748
>gaming
>politics
delete this
>>
>>34890512
if you try to keep it, you will lose it.
if you are content to lose it, you will find it.
lose it to attain it.
>>
>>34890428
Get an indoor toilet, for the time being use a plastic bag, then double bag the first and tie it to make sure no smell escapes. Dispose later in bin when can be arsed.

>>34890490
Find someone close to help you, family or friends. If at a critical point, there's plenty of free-to-call suicide hotlines out there that will help. 18002738255
>>
>>34890511
50 quid for an hour of bum plundering is a bargain, mate. And flights from Belfast to Edinburgh are pretty cheap.
>>
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>>34889606
Tell them they're fucking retards. Parents who don't know how to handle their kids are the worst.

>tfw stuck in East Devon
>>
>>34889636
Get the fuck out you filthy infiltrator. It's called bantz m8
>>
>cousin who is younger than me has his own flat, a car and a job
>meanwhile I'm a NEET who lives with his dad and I can't even drive

ah yes very impressive
>>
>>34890569
What is the job and did he get fucking spoiled by his parents?
>>
What flavour is irn bru lads
>>
Anyone else need some advice?
>>
>>34890517
I'm from Scotland I honestly don't know what I want to do. I play guitar and I'm good with computers but when I think about doing one of those for the rest of my life it just depresses me further. Mostly I just take care of my disabled dad and I don't really have time for anything else.
>>34890533
I don't really have any friends. The only family I really have is my dad who's mentally disabled so I can't really dump anything on him.
>>
>>34890582
Literally indescribable. It is incredibly unique and I feel bad for any country that doesn't have it.
>>
>>34890582
Iron and brew
>>
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>mfw just got told i'm the least favourite of mummys children
>>
>>34890582
Scottish flavour.
>>
>>34890582
Girders
>>34890588
Speak to your GP and he should refer you on to the help you need anon, use the hotline if you get any bad feelings before your appointment
>>
>>34890588
Well, taking care of your dad, while no doubt soul crushing, is very a good thing. You're a good guy anon, I'm telling you now. If you tell any employer about this shit their opinion of you will fucking skyrocket.
>>
>>34890582
>girders
>>
>>34890580
well it started out as an IT apprenticeship and now he earns ~27 thousands per year, and he didn't even do a levels he just went straight into an apprenticeship after secondary

meanwhile I have a 2:2 degree in history and I can't get any job
>>
>>34890569
I failed my driving test because I was "too quiet" wtf is that supposed to mean.
>>
>>34890638
Silly Anon, you were meant to call the bastard who cut you off a cunt!
>>
>>34890584
I know a girl who is legit schizophrenic and in a relationship with a guy she claims to be in love with. She also wants me and her to go to Amsterdam together for a drug taking weekend. Should I try to fuck he or what?
>>
>>34890623
how many sources should i use for a 2000 word essay?
>>
>>34890633
>history
I feel for you man, you job choice is limited as fuck.
>>
>>34890665
absolutely, but know that you are sticking your dick in crazy. i give this my blessing
>>
>>34890584
every woman I've ever talked to has ghosted me. what am i doing wrong?
>>
>>34890665
No. Don't be a twat.
>>
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>>34890613
>mfw just got told i'm the least favourite of mummys children
Please be true
>>
>>34890665
p.s. try the truffles. seriously.
>>
>>34890698
>>34890685
Well now I dont know who to believe.
>>
>>34890309
Redgum and Men at Work are the best bands to come out of the land of plenty. Proper top bands.
>>
>>34890665
Have fun with her schizophrenia. Say things to her and pretend you didn't, make strange noises and deny it, change plans at the last second and act like it was that way all along.
>>
>>34890665
Yeah boiiii

oregano
>>
>>34890712
Do you really want to destroy the other guy and cuck him? If so, try and fuck her. But if you want to be a cool guy, go on the trip and tell him if she tries to fuck you.
>>
>>34890728
Sounds like a fun way to get stabbed.
>>
>>34890712
Really depends. Are you certain she only claims to love him. Don't want to spend the whole time in Amsterdam expecting to have sex but be cucked the whole time.
>>
>>34890623
I probably will use the hotline if I feel the need to vent. Thank you for the advice.
>>34890624
Thanks man, it's just hard as fuck coping with it all the time.
>>
>>34890740
>and tell him if she tries to fuck you.
Don't do that.

Whatever you do, don't do that. Trying to do people favour's in that way never works out. If she tries to fuck you, and you decide not to just ignore it forever.
>>
>>34890638
Polite way of saying not assertive enough.

They're worried you're to passive when driving and will cause a hazard to others and jams

>>34890665
Go if you want to, it's not your responsibility if she wants to fuck you - she's her own person, just don't push the issue - make sure it's what she wants.

Just keep in mind the potential consequences and ask yourself is it worth it.

>>34890674
Depends on context, if a certain assertion or key bit of info is the crux of your essay make sure it's sourced.

>>34890689
going forward, document each encounter as soon as after they happen so you can pinpoint exactly where it goes wrong.
>>
I wonder how many anons in this thread have an hero'd over the years
>>
>>34890740
I dont know the guy, I dont owe him shit.
>>34890747
Yeah this is my main concern. I dont care about getting rejected, but ruining a special friend holiday because of muh dick would be pretty shitty for everyone involved.
>>
>>34890776
I've done it at least twice.
>>
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>>34890774
>document each encounter as soon as after they happen so you can pinpoint exactly where it goes wrong.
>>
>>34890741
That's not what schizophrenics do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoGjXCBDHb8

There's a proper schizophrenic.
>>
>>34890633
I'm doing an IT apprenticeship. Hoping it works for me
>>
Did the dude who sold drugs to an anon find out if he killed himself?
>>
>>34890793
it works, after many attempts I figured out I was being too forward with my game as it always fell apart when I tried to initiate getting out of the place for potential sex.

The solution was to wait for when the pub/club was wining down and we were forced to leave, I then suggest i'll pay for a taxi to go back to my place to continue the party.

There of course was no party at my house, just a bottle of Bacardi followed by sex.
>>
>someone's banging on next door shouting "open the fucking door"

Isn't life on a council estate great...
>>
>>34890836
I'm that dude and no, I havent. He seemed pretty happy in his last message so at least he went out feeling good.
>>
>>34890876
call the police on them and make sure you withhold your name.

You'll soon be rid of them
>>
>>34890557
>tells people to stop bitching at each other
>"infiltrator"
yeap, great bantz m8
>>
>>34890876
It's fantastic mate

Know what else I love? Kids outside in the streets at all fucking hours kicking a ball

"dumf dumf dumf dumf"

Bliss
>>
>>34890803
The fuck am I watching here? 5 whole views...is this you?
>>
>>34890870
"Hello attractive woman with a group of friends, please leave them and come party with me alone"
>>
>>34890803
I have the same guitar amp, kek.
>>
>someone with this profile pic and nothing else tries to add me on fb
What's their endgame?
>>
>>34890922
the kids don't bring a ball near my house anymore after I told them to fuck off after they hit my car with the football
>>
>>34890922
The best part is when they play on the fucking streets so that you almost run them over when you turn a corner, and then they run back to their parents and tell them lies before you can tell their parents how their child almost got hurt because of how fucking stupid they are because "muh child is a gud girl, she never do nutin".
>>
>>34890665
da fuq is wrong with you?
>u gonna get raped
>>
>>34890964
it's a bot or a shark
>>
>>34890964
look at their friendlist. Is it all dudes?
>>
>>34890974
What? How would I end up getting raped in this scenario?
>>
>>34890986
But why doe?
>>34890990
Indeed. Pretty thirsty lot it seems.
>>
>>34890992
well, robbed, tortured, abused, raped.
>>
>>34890944
By then we have already been chatting for a good portion of the night and I have ingratiated myself with her mates and made it clear i'm not a creepy rapist.

Here's a tip, if you see a pair of girls, be nice and talkative to the one you aren't trying to hook up with, shes usually the uglier one also which make it easier as she will appreciate the unusual attention. People hate being left out and the one you are actually going for will start vying for your attention, it's like magic.
>>
>>34890826
probably should
IT's a decent industry
>>
>>34891014
Sounds like a good weekend to me.
>>
>>34891014
It's Amsterdam, this isnt the movie Hostel.
>>
>>34891006
IT'S A TARP, sorry- TRAP
>>
>>34890925
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XcIwzSznFI

it's the timothy james byrne show

he's mad
~13200 videos
>>
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>>34890964
I've seen that arse before. They're clearly adding you for nefarious reasons
>>
>>34891006
if she was genuine she would have female friends don't you think? please don't fall for this shit
>>
>>34891058
Duh obviously it's bullshit. I I just dont understand the play. Maybe they post an amazon wishlist or something.
>>
>>34891077
Either a send me monet deal or if you message its just a bot who sends you a link to a scam site
>>
>>34890728
Made me kek, lad.

Thanks.
>>
>>34890803
What's the story here?

Original questioning.
>>
Do I really want a car?

>tfw just want to rage my dream
>>
>>34890876
Aah it's like a symphony of the damned.
>Cunts slamming their front doors left and right
>Cunts playing nignog music with extra bass all fucking day and night
>Little cunts in trakkies and twat hats just fucking standing in the stairwells trying to look hard when you go past them
>Forever someone fucking screeching at the top of their lungs about something
>Cunt of a nextdoor neighbor home at 1am sharp to waddle in and beat the living shit out of his wife for not having dinner ready, police come and slap him on the wrist, she doesn't press charges
>Police sirens all night, the blue lights piercing your blackout curtains
>Forever a group of yobs, nogs and wogs telling you they'll give you the money if you get them a packet of fags.
>Don't forget the yapping, howling, screeching dogs nobody is supposed to have, barking all fucking night and day.
>Some little cunt who's robbed a car decides to do some sick donuts in the car for a few hours in the evening blasting nog music
>and of course, the yobs kicking a ball at a fence all day and night
>>
anyone heading to manchester comic con this year? i went two years ago and i'm quite excited to get my cosplay on
>>
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>>34890964
catfish mate, I have my own for the bantz.

People send me unsolicited pics of their fucking nobs and I repost it on their public timelines and add all their mates.

Always a fucking lark
>>
>>34891139
What you gonna cosplay m8?
>>
>>34891140
The chick in your pic looks hot
>>
>>34890964

Scam. She is in East Nigeria and needs you to help her buy a ticket to come visit you (because she really loves you man)
>>
>>34891140
How come they're mostly taco niggers?
>>
>>34891145
me and a pal are doing gandalf and bilbo, i'm cosplaying bilbo because i'm a hobbit at heart and kinda short
>>
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>>34891153
that's the point.

>>34891181
They're the most thirsty.
>>
>>34891123
he's a schizophrenic who got doxxed by /brit/, given so much abuse he had to move house (provided by the council/NHS) and is completely paranoid about parking spaces
he uploads so frequently that it's nearly impossible to find the gems from yesteryear
it's mostly just a stream of his consciousness, there's no limiter between his brain and mouth
/brit/ took it the extreme and started sending him letters from his dead brother, including pictures of poleaboo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbP6QAD1ITg&t=7m

be sure to use the attached timecode
>>
>>34891195
The Adele pic is inspired.
>>
>>34891204
>/brit/ took it the extreme and started sending him letters from his dead brother
his brother's not dead and they didn't send them from him
(though tim does mention how his brother has schizophrenia from taking LSD at school at a few points in his older videos)
>>
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my favourite is when chaps who are clearly in a relationship add me, I then add their missus and send her screen caps of the shit he has been sending me kek
>>
>>34891195
Where did you get the pictures from?
>>
>>34891204
>/brit/ took it the extreme and started sending him letters from his dead brother
That's actually really horrible.
>>
>>34891051
There's like hundreds of videos of "Nobody does it better," "Jingle bells" and "Honeysuckle rose" but they're all different. This guy is fucking crazy! Ahaha. What the fuck? What's his story?
>>
>>34891231
Some random chicks FB from america.
>>
>>34891051
>>34890803
>>34891204
It's weird that Schizos are all musical

I've got an uncle that thinks his mum and dad are still alive talking to him but at the same time he's solid on the guitar
>>
>>34891229
This seems like a laugh. Might give it a go myself.
>>
>>34891204
Fuuucckking KEK at the picture of poleaboo in that video AHAHAHAHAHA!
>>
>>34891251
see >>34891204

a (seemingly undiagnosed) schizophrenic lives out his days almost the same
>>
>>34891204
"Don't mess with me sunshine."

Oh my god I can't stop Iaughing at that video.
>>
>>34891305
he's diagnosed, he constantly rants about the NHS and how they're out to get him
why he isn't sanctioned I don't know, he seems legitimately threatening in the video when he goes outside
>walk that side of me
>walk THAT SIDE OF ME
>Don't mess with me
>I'm the clever man, you're just a scruff
>>
>>34888711
You're crazy, getting muscle as a manlet is way easier
>>
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>Reading up on the doctors notes he has on me
>When diagnosed with depression they also put down I have psychotic symptoms

Wew.

I guess it makes sense thinking back.
>>
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>watching movie online
>the streaming website have their own news section
>see article entitled "Cinema in Ireland 'Bans' Men from Seeing Fifty Shades Darker Alone"
>click it
>its 100% real
>"A Co Meath cinema has warned it will not allow any 'unaccompanied males' into view the new Fifty Shades Darker movie, ahead of its opening on Friday."
>'unaccompanied males'

I thought this nonsense was meant to be ending with Trump? Now they've turned all the no singles jokes into reality.

https://123movies.is/articles/view/cinema-in-ireland-bans-men-from-seeing-fifty-shades-darker-alone/725
>>
>>34891377
Stop being such a sperg, it's a joke article saying that men shouldnt go alone because the women will be so turned on from the film. Fucking autist.
>>
>>34891055
ass is a bit too big. her ass would make it hard to push all the way in.
>>
>>34891377
Vue cinemas has a legitimate "no singles" policy if you buy tickets online.
>>
>>34891362
How can you access your doctors notes?
>>
>>34891400
Fuck you faggot, people take these jokes seriously after a while.
>>
>>34891430
Just those that suffer from autism.
>>
>>34891421
Need some info for my PIP application and they showed me on the computer a quick rundown of everything they have on me.
>>
>>34891421
You can request a copy of everything they have in writing. I did when I had mental health problems.
>>
done 800 words of my essay lads. now im watching kill la kill as im on a break.
>>
>>34891449
Did they prescribe you with some Bogpills?
>>
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I'VE DONE IT LADS!

I got an email back from a bar job in the airport saying they'd be interested in scheduling an interview! I'm feeling hope for the first time in months!
>>
>>34891483
Kill La Kill's great. Are you the dude who was waifuposting Satsuki?
>>
>>34891447
And women. What's with all the autism bashing anyway?
>>
>>34891488
I'm on an anti-depressant and also an anti-anxiety one. I know the pills are a meme but I justify being on them by thinking how bad I could be if I was off them.
>>
>>34891305
Holy shit this guy is fucking mad. I'm just watching some of the videos.
>>
>>34891483
I'm a rough 1500 words in to a 2000-2500 one, thought I would be more productive today but hey. Due on firday so can be brushed up tomorrow. Wish I didn't leave everything to the last minute
>>
>>34891502
yeah, that was me lad. im about 15 episodes into kill la kill, it is great so far.
>>
>>34891500
Well done lad, come join us in the wageslave tribes!
>>
>>34888642
I went from skinny as a rake to packing on muscle and having big arms and shoulders. I dont have a six pack because cutting is lame but I might try it for the summer.
>>
>>34891524
>I'm on an anti-depressant and also an anti-anxiety one
What they stick you with lad?
>>
>>34891500
Be prepared. I went for a bar job interview and they made me serve some customers to see how I'd handle it. I was just expecting a chat so I fucked up.
>>
>>34891633
Venlafaxine & Pregabaline
>>
>>34891564
i normally leave mine until the last minute but i decided to start this one a bit early. mine has to be in next Thursday
>>
Lads, the society for my course at uni is having a night out tonight. Some guys I speak to occasionally are having pre drinks and then going to the nightclub to meet everyone later and invited me. I really can't be bothered and they will probably be watching football which I have no interest in. Will not be going to a club either as I hate them.

Any point in going? I know I should be more sociable and feel a bit bad wanting to turn the offer down
>>
>>34891681
Tell them you're busy.
>>
>>34888642
Who else trying to get /skelly/.

I don't want to be ripped. I want to be rail thin.
>tfw down from 260lbs at 6'3" (obese) to 182lbs (normal)
Only 40 more pounds to go before I'm officially underweight.
>>
>>34891681
Sounds like hell. If it were me I'd politely decline. It depends if you want to fit in and have "friends" or not. I do not.
>>
>>34891672
>Venlafaxine
I'm on this. It treats depression and anxiety. I'm diagnosed BPD. Not experienced the other one but you seem over prescribed unless you have a serious dis-order.
>>
>>34891708
Why? Why would you waste the gift of height genetics?
>>
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ok lads, reeled one in.

Let's have some fun. you guys can direct me.
>>
>>34891708
/cuteboy/ skelly is a good aim desu.
>>
>>34891708
>>34891729

Dat skinny aesthetic is bretty gud.
>>
>>34891746
Maybe if you want to look like Rodney from OFAH.
>>
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>>34891407
Where are you planning on sticking it? You clearly don't know how it works.
>>
>>34891754
Is she deformed or just photoshopped?
>>
>>34891733
>not blotting out the name

Hope it's a fake one.
>>
>>34891733
God he looks like a spaz and I can barely see him. Be like 'I'm bored because I was meant to go out to a bar with my friend and she cancelled on me :( what you up to?'
>>
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>>34891761
Deformed, probably implants.
>>
>>34891754
the pussy in doggy
>>
>>34891733
waz going on here?
>>
>>34891712
Yeah I've got BPD too and quite bad anxiety so that's why I'm guessing.
>>
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>>34891729
Height+Skeleton mode+gloomy fashion= god-tier aesthetics.

Muscles are overrated. Maybe girls like it but I don't, I wanna look like a lamppost.
>>
>>34891787
*BBBBRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP*

teehee
>>
>>34891803
such a waste of potential in eyes. tall people look amazing when they are built. you dont even need to get really big because your height will make up for it.
>>
>>34891803
Damn. That guy does look pretty cool (except maybe the shoes). Still though. I want to be a massive muscle freak. I dont give a fuck what girls like. One told me the other day I was getting 'too big' and I took it as a compliment.
>>
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Just got my prospectus in the post from UCLan. Its just hit me that Im going to university at the age of 20 and all these kids who are trying to be adults with no life skills will all be there and all of them will be taller than me.


ITS NOT FAIR
>>
>>34891856
>20

Literally no different. Still basically a kid
>>
>>34891795
>Yeah I've got BPD too
We should definitely not be friends. I have one friend who also has it and we want to kill each other half the time.
>>
When you have that look, you'll be cursed to forever be seen as "cute" and never "hot". Girls may think you're aesthetic, but you will never unlock their primal sexual urges without gainz.
>>
>>34891856
How tall are you, lad?
>>
>>34891854
unless you have great genetics or take steroids, you probably wont become a massive muscle freak.

>>34891856
that was my mistake with uni. i went at 21 and everyone i became friends with was 18 and a fucking idiot.
>>
>>34891856
>all of them will be taller than me.
How tall are you?
>>
>>34891835
Honestly I think I just want to be thin because I've been fat for my entire life so I'd like to try living looking like the opposite just so I can bask in not being fat.

I might get ripped later. But for a few years at least I want to be a skeleton/fa/g and bust up all that le I'm not like other girls pussy.
>>
>>34891885
>take steroids
Yeah just gonna do that. Already on my first cycle.
>>
>>34891854
Post pics.

I want to see how big is too big no homo.
>>
>>34891782
>>34891793
>>34891766
he was shit, too scared to talk. got a new one though.
>>
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>>34891871
IM A BIG BOY MUMMY SAYS I AM!!!

But atleast i've been working for the past 5 years while they have been living off mum and dad.

>>34891880
>>34891889

5'6....

>>34891885
Thats what im worried about aswell,
>>
How much money do you think is in making a knockoff overwatch for mobile. Release it for free but riddle it with ads and microtransactions
>>
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Just tried that 'Arizona Green Tea' the yanks always go on about.

It was literally just cold tea, what is wrong with those crazy burgerpeople?
>>
>>34891926
Shitloads.

If it's "free" and it's a ripoff of a popular game it's a guaranteed money-maker.
>>
>>34891926
Negative because you'll be sued
>>
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>>34891914
I used to be a proper skelly so the it's more impressive if you saw what I looked like 2 years ago.
>>
>>34891835
Its all bullshit and vanity. Stay thin lad. Just make sure to do cardio and eat healthy. There's literally no point in getting strong unless you're a manual labourer and then you'll grow strong anyway.
>>
>>34891968
There won't be much likeliness towards Overwatch, just stealing the general idea which they did with Team Fortress and many games have done to Overwatch.
>>
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>>34891921
>5'6
Bloody manlet
I hope you don't breed.
>>
>>34891974
>Its all bullshit and vanity

so is everything. you could say the same about getting a nice hair cut, clothes etc. fair enough if he wants to be thing but being big looks way better on a tall person.
>>
>>34891921
im 5'6 too brother

its pain
>>
>5'11
>tell everyone I'm 6'0
>>
>>34891951
S A D B O Y S
A A Y B O Y D
D S D O O A S
B Y S B A O D
O S D Y O B A
Y A B O S Y D
S Y O B D A S
>>
>>34891921
>Thats what im worried about aswell,

unless you are the type that likes drinkig, going clubbing, and talking shit about people, you will porbably feel the same way. i was really motivated before going to uni and the people have really demotivated me
>>
>>34891971
You're a big guy

Dr. Robot, I'm original
>>
>>34892024
It does, but the taller you get the more difficult gaining mass becomes. I just don't think its that worth it when ultimately the things that matter in life are personality and your face.
>>
>>34891951
Isn't it packed with sugar too?
>>
>>34891990
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>34892032
I know pal, doesnt help that my brother is like 6'2. I literally got the runt of the litter genes.

Luckily though I dont really have trouble with girls but im worried that ill be in halls with a bunch of chads.

>>34892060
Jesus fucking christ dont say that... Im so ready for uni like hyped as fuck. I dont actually like going clubbing/drinking. I'd prefer taking drugs in the safety of my house/halls but I guess ill just put on a sociable act until I can get with a group of people I actually like.
>>
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>>34889687
fell asleep on the couch for a few hours after work.
fuck, that'll fuck sleep up tonight.
think several cans of beer will help, gonna start now, and be drunk enough for bed by 10ish
>>
>>34892043
I only got it because of the vapourwave memes.

>>34892089
Sure as hell didn't taste like it.
>>
Hey lads, got clover on text only nice to save data whilst without wifil. Will check back in one hour on this post. Provide images/webms for instajizz tyvm lads
>>
>>34892139
Hail, Sneklad.
>>
>>34892115
>I guess ill just put on a sociable act until I can get with a group of people I actually like.

yeah, you might be able to do this. i was kinda fucked because i didnt stay over at halls, and there is only like 12 lads doing my uni course. the lads who are in all the classes as me, and have the same personal tutor are alright but they are such plebs.
>>
>>34892078
>but the taller you get the more difficult gaining mass become

you will only need to take in like 500 more calories.

lifting weights is kinda fun, and you dont even need to get exactly big, just a bit big which is easy with weights. you will get a fuck load of girls.
>>
>going to university in current year

How do you people not snap and go on a killing spree?
>>
Lads, I think I might be anorexic.

>Have been eating practically nothing since September
>Have lost a shitload of weight.
>According to my BMI I should be perfectly normally sized
>Still think I look disgustingly fat.

Is it even possible for men to be anorexic?
>>
>>34892314
>you will get a fuck load of glorified livestock

Woo wee.
>>
>>34892317
Just don't go to London universities or UEA
>>
>>34892317
Foreign country visas more or less require degrees now for working/living there
>>
>>34892361
Thats exactly the reason im going, just need a degree so I can get out of britain before it goes down the shitter.
>>
>>34892317
i dont live there so i dont have to put up with the fuckers for too long. but yeah, its shit. most people are the typical lad bible lad, the teachers are very liberal, and the girls are boring.
>>
>>34892321
Yes, and post pics.

Origami
>>
>>34892321
fucking moron, if you lose weight too fast you burn of muscle instead of fat since your body panics
>>
>>34892321
Yeah it's just as possible as it is for women. Thing is, you are somewhat aware of the possibility, so you're already doing better than anyone else who might have it. Either talk to your doctor or post pics for us to judge whether or not you're fat.
>>
>>34892381
I'm too old for that route now

My only option is marriage. or winning the euromillions so I can effectively buy one

Stuck in this shit hole forever
>>
>>34892361
That's all very nice but how do you tolerate the four or so years of obtaining it with all those fucking normans everywhere?
>>
>>34892321
i think i have the opposite. i think im really skinny but people normally say im muscular. im about 12 stone, 5 ft 9
>>
>>34892317
by commuting

shared a flat for 3 months, wanted to kill myself, commuting now instead
>>
>>34892432
Yeah, before I applied to uni I was seriously considering trying to make a move on my japanese host families daughter, she kept complaining about being single and her dad kept making jokes about us to being really similar.

Just get on some foreign bit and get married, if it falls through atleast you got the spousal visa.
>>
>>34892432
>Stuck in this shit hole forever

At least you'll get to see western civilisation collapse and burn, even if you burn with it.
>>
>>34892475
if it gets too bad, its more likely that there will be a coup and the country will become fascist, unless you count that as burning. part of me kinda hopes it happens because it would be a laugh and i have nothing to live for anyway
>>
>>34892494
Us lot would be crushed under fascism. It's the Chaddiest of the Chad regimes.
>>
>>34892251
ay up lad. y'alright
>>
Hmm, medallion's humming.
New thread, gotta be.

>>34892554
>>34892554
>>34892554
>>
>>34892561
You're not anorexic. Stop crash dieting though.
>>
>>34892529
Ay up, our Sneklad. Yes thank you. You?
>>
>>34892523
dont know lad. hitler was a robot. chads normally dont care about politics, or they are liberal normies. im good at wearing a mask anyway so i will be alright. i imagine they would force the robots to work though.
>>
>>34892604
I've been doing this since September and have lost like 80 pounds according to the scales. Eating virtually nothing is easier than /fit/ thinks.
>>
>>34892634
You're probably losing muscle as well as fat. If you keep crash dieting you'll become a weak, flubby amoeba.
>>
>>34892669
>You're probably losing muscle as well as fat
That's probably what's happening but I'm quite happy with that. As long as I'm losing fat.
>>
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>>34892750
if you continue to lose weight without exercising you will develop excess skin and look like pic related
i can already see evidence of it in the pic you posted
>>
>>34892750
Each to his own, you going for the skinny aesthetic? Just be weary of loose skin.
>>
>>34892806
That's exactly what I'm going for.

>Just be weary of loose skin.
My back is already pretty fucked. It doesn't look so bad yet but it feels like I'm wearing a baggy shirt made of pizza dough.

I've read though that the loose skin tightens back over a couple of years so I'm not too worried.
>>
>>34890053
your suggestions were played out as fuck mate

you clearly haven't seen an inbox
>>
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>>34891971
>Anon comes in
>says he wants to be a 'big guy'
>asks for some steroids
>give him lethal dose of morphine instead
Thread posts: 520
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