Girls Advice Thread V5

>>34882059
What advice did they give you?
Did it work well?
What was the result?

>>34882059
Uh..
It's like my thread but focused in one topic and less shitty answers.


Q: Is there any pure girl out there?

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alright, fuck it. I've gone over hundreds of possibilities in my head the past few days and it only makes me more depressed than anything.

>known girl online for months through vidya games
>we talk from the moment we wake to the moment we sleep
>so much in common it's actually kind of pushing the boundaries of coincidence
>make plans to meet, these plans end up being last weekend. was gonna stay from friday-tuesday (valentines) but left monday. saved up a grand for this weekend so we could have a lot of fun and not worry about money (we're both NEETs)
>plan was to get drunk a lot together, watch shit we both like, play board games and have fun
>friday was wonderful, we get really drunk, play trivial pursuit, we have a lot of fun, we kiss for the first time, I am genuinely happy for the first time in my life (scratched the K off my KHV)
>saturday she is like a different person. basically displays zero emotion towards me, like the night before didn't happen
>get worried, sperg a little, but we drink more, watch more stuff, she tells me she does like me and we kiss again (worth noting she hadn't said she liked me at all yet, but I had told her previously - so my feelings were being reciprocated)
>sunday, same shit, but worse. I can't even get her to smile any more, the previous days it was the easiest thing.
>monday feel like I've overstayed my welcome and just tell her that I'm gonna leave
>no arguments, infact on the drive home all she texts me to ask if I know where her phone charger is
>hasn't spoken to me since that message
>it's now wednesday, still nothing, I'm drowning my sorrows

why??? I've never had a girl in my life til I met her. every time I just looked at her only THINKING she was gorgeous she would see and do this heart-melting expression of smiling like crazy and looking down and covering her face. even on sunday, that was the only way i could get her to smile. but now I'm 100% we wont ever speak again. I'm at word limit so cant elaborate.

>>34882258
yes, i was one. i was very ugly and autistic. my boyfriend took me in and transformed me. we are still together and i plan to marry him someday.

all virgin girls are either fundies you won't gain access too, or trainwrecks like me. i think they are honestly so rare, it's not worth throwing your life away to search for one. there are plenty of girls with relationship experience that are still kind and good partners.

>>34882332
I want to help someone so they can help me.

It's my dream to find that one that i will spend the life helping and her helping me,caring about each other,talking and just doing things that we enjoy together.

I just see normal girls with a normal life out there.
I also help people with their problems and they don't even say thank you or even talk to me afterwards even if the problem was solved with what i tolded them.

>>34882278
the fact that you had your first kiss while drunk is bad

i think she felt rushed or embarrassed so she shut down. either that, or she realized she doesn't like how you appear or act in real life

you need to talk to her about the first night

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>>34882165
Well, pretty much they gave me advice with this girl I liked. I mean some of it was simple stuff but I'm dumb as hell when it comes to these things so yeah.

Basically they'd help me in the process like telling me what I should do next (for example, asking her out for food or asking her to study) and whether certain behavior was a good sign. I mean I guess I could get more specific but I won't here.

It definitely worked well because she's my gf now so... Can't really get any better than that. My first one, in fact.

>>34882258
I agree with >>34882332 on this one, idolizing finding a "pure" girl I think is pretty unrealistic and I think you have to get over yourself at some point. I'd have standards of like... I wouldn't want a girl who's super slutty but a girl who's only had a few partners in the past I would be fine with honestly. If I trust in her enough, I know she'll be faithful to me and I won't let /r9k/ tell me "oh she's just another roastie" or whatever.

>>34882278
That fucking sucks man. Seems like there was a lot of buildup and it kinda went bad. I can't imagine how that feels... shit. I think >>34882490 brings up a good point. Maybe do that?

how do i know which 1 likes asian boys

>>34882445
what you describe is what anyone wants in a relationship, anon. both partners should support each other. though i understand how you feel. i used to read about tinder hookups, watch my peers date and drop people like they were nothing and feel hopeless to find someone good. and many people are plain assholes...you see this working any customer service job, or helping people like you do.

what i mean is that a girl's virginity doesn't make her a good person... it doesn't signal modesty so much as it signals "i have issues that prevented me from growing up normally". virginity is not a good sign of kindness, empathy, and ability to love. i can't offer you advice on how to meet girls like that, since my boyfriend found me off of this board, but if you talk to lots of people you can identify them. when girls don't thank you for helping them, you know they're not an ideal girlfriend. that's a simple thing, but those kind of screens are much better at finding a good girl than purity. best of luck anon...

>>34882278
im not going to over analyze this, but i noticed something wrong off the bat.

you were willing to spend one grand with her. while that might sound romantic to you, its desperate and needy to women. yes, its awful, but women think like this. a woman has to feel lucky that you wasted your time with her, but you spending one grand sends the opposite message.

yes, women are stupid memes. theres some truth to the whole "women dont like nice guys and they fuck assholes instead".

>>34882490
>the fact that you had your first kiss while drunk is bad

ah yes I have jumped to this conclusion. something about alcohol. I kind of think it's about how I act in real life, because when she just kind of shut down the next day I more-or-less freaked out a little. not too bad, though, but it seemed bad at the tim.
thing is - when she told me she liked me - that was our talk about what the FUCK is going on, and we were ----completely sober---- in that conversation (I am not rn so forgive my sentence structure). I kind of assumed that she kissed me because she was uninhibited and did what she genuinely wanted to do without fear of anything, y'know?
i'm still 100% certain it's my fault, that I did something that put her off, so I can't talk to her. I don't know what to say, at all. I don't know where to start. or I'm ugly rofl.
it's soul crushing this is the first time I've ever put myself out there like that - I actually got the advice here, too, to put myself out there and show her I like her by actions, and it's ended up being the worst weekend I've ever had.

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>>34882636
shit I wish I saw this before I posted, but funnily enough another conclusion I have jumped to.
the grand was in total for fuel (took $100 to get there and back) and I didn't spend it all - just wanted excess so we could do whatever we wanted when I was there (they have cool attractions like penguins). I only spent ~$200 total on us, drinks, food, pizza ordered because we're drunk, etc. But she didn't like having money spent on her, she's told me this before and stuff, but she paid half when she could (alcohol, actually) but I told her it wasn't for her at all, because in a way it wasn't, I'm a neet and getting to spend large was enjoyable for me probably more than her - not having to worry about saving for a weekend, etc. I just wanted it to be completely stress free and all about us having fun and shit. I never used the fact I had saved x for us or anything to try impress her? or something like that. I actually never told her the exact amount I had.

>>34882545
it does fucking suck, I'm just gonna reply because I feel like a fool posting twice in a row so might as well take my time. The fact there was a LOT of buildup really salts the wound. The week before I went there ===she=== couldn't go a day without her sperging over how excited she was for the weekend. literally every. single. day. now I'm sure we both wish it never happened? I don't know.

>>34882658
>>34882658
she wouldn't say she liked you and kiss you if she hated how you acted. she kissed you after you sperged on her, too. my best prediction is that she was upset about having her first kiss when drunk, tried to get over it, but you were insensitive and repeated the scenario (drinking and playing games).

message her when you're sober. get to the root of it, say something like "hey i had a great time with you on friday, but i feel like you shut down. was it because we were drunk when we kissed? or what was it? you mean a lot to me and i never meant to hurt you."

>>34882783
this confirms that her behavior had nothing to do with the money. and i think the advice you got last time about showing you like her with actions is good advice - but you used it in a situation where everyone wasn't in the right mind to be making decisions. if she's a sheltered NEET girl she'll be especially fragile about her first kiss with you feeling wrong.

>>34882896
well thanks for the message I can send, that's a shit ton more than I've managed already, all I've got is "I'm sorry."
I don't know what to say, but you've definitely given me a lot to think about. I don't know what I'm going to do or any thing, but I doubt I'll be sober any time soon. We even fell asleep together, her head on my chest. I don't even remember when I fell asleep, usually it takes me hours, but with her lying on me I just dropped and then woke up with her in the exact same position. That was such a happy moment for me, something I won't ever forget. Yet here I am.

I'm gonna have a dirnk for you because you bothered to reply ty anon friend.

>>34883145
you're welcome and i hope it works out

not OP but i'll be in any future girls advice threads, please let us know what happens

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>>34883201
>>34883145
>>34882896
OP here. Thanks for covering for me dude, you gave better advice than I could give. That's what I like to see - people helping each other out with this stuff cause it can be really hard especially for the type of person who usually browses this board lol. Good luck to both of you!

>>34882059
How can I convince normies that "juz hav confidence " is just a meme? I can't offer stability, status, looks, and comfort/emotional support to women.

>>34883426
All those things can be improved upon. Ignore normies' stupid platitudes and focus on actually achieving those things. Normies can't give real advice because they've always taken what they have for granted, they've never had to earn it.

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>>34883426
I know what you mean, that's kind of something that my mom used to say to me a lot. I think there's like... an element of truth to it though. Hear me out though.

What I mean is that I think it's more important to be able to offer something in the relationship than anything else. Can you offer stability? Emotional support? Someone she can confide in? Other things she may find important in a relationship? Of course a girl isn't going to want to feel like she's talking to a wall so she'll want a partner to have some distinct personality. Having that personality and being comfortable (enough) with yourself takes some degree of confidence.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no chad or whatever. I'm still nervous as hell a lot and nowhere near as smooth talking or socially adept as the average normie but somehow I managed to find a girl who's fairly awkward herself but we like each other for who we are anyway. I'm like... comfortable enough with who I am and she likes me for who I am too so it works. That's just an example, I guess.

>>34883500
Nice dubs. And I agree with you. I had to work so hard to have any sort of adeptness (is that a word?) socially and it just kind of comes naturally to them. Try to figure out what works for you and try to put yourself out there at least a bit. Hopefully there'll be someone who likes you for who you are.

I know it's very unusual on this board, but

I'm the one who is ghosting women and I have 2-3 of them constantly orbiting me.

I know all the stuff on how to get in touch with a girl and make her be interested in you and all that stuff, but

I don't need one. All of them, sooner or later, try to dig a bit too far and I start feeling insecure about it and start ghosting them.

All I ever wanted is a normal friend-friend relationship. I don't need no love crap, because it's complicated, frustrating, not rewarding and it will turn out badly in the end anyway. Who needs that crap.

And I'm not even "alpha" or anything, not really good looking (average height, chubby, average face). Why do all of them try to go a bit further? I don't want nobody to know me. I don't want to open to anybody. I just want friends.

What do.

>>34883686
Make friends with guys, they'll never try to understand your feelings and trigger your insecurities.

Why do you keep trying to make friends with women?

>>34883500
>>34883547

>All those things can be improved upon

>stability
Im not a man with a lot of money. The best I could ever do is keeping a job that pays min wage. I have no car, live with my parents, and i have bills. Literally can't afford a gf

>status
I don't talk to people that much and Im not that interesting, unless it just a few people. I don't like the fact I should be in this social circle and interact with so many people.

>Looks
Im baby faced and Im 5'9. People keep saying "You're a good looking guy" but it's nothing like when I see Chads with gfs. When I see a pretty girl, I know what kinds of men she'll go for


>emotional support
I can't let people depend on me. I can't even depend on myself. Everyday Im alone, broke (spiritually and financially) , and unsure.

Im just not the right guy. I's hard to tell people im inept

>>34883715
Because it's more difficult for me to get in touch with guys than it is with women. Guys are, most of the times, selfish jerks. I think it's extremely rare to find a dude who would just hang around and not caring about shit.

>>34883751
desu you sound like the reverse of "i hang out with guys cuz there's no drama XD" girls

whenever you're dealing with the opposite sex there will always be an underlying sexual interest. it sounds like you're encouraging this by becoming friends with girls in a flirty way (beginning the friendship with "making them interested"), then getting surprised when they want to date.

girls are also emotional and want to talk about that shit. you'll need to fix your problems with that if you want to be friends with them.

I'm going to see a girl I know at a video game club on Saturday. I was thinking of trying to ask for her Snapchat username so we can communicate more casually (I don't really like Facebook). What's a smooth way to go about doing this? I'm going to be surrounded by other guys almost the entire time; should I get her alone before I ask? Also, what if she doesn't have Snapchat?

>>34884081
Maybe not ask for specifically snapchat but say "I barely use facebook, do you have anything else you use that's a bit easier?"

>>34884094
Ok, how should I go about doing this though? Like, how should I set up asking her? I presumably can't just be like "yo thot, give me ur number".

>>34884130
Just ask, dude. Can even be mid conversation, or some shit. I don't think it matters too much, just shows you wanna talk to her even more easier.

Do women like philosophy or when you have a good philosophical view? I swear I almost got with a girl because of this. How do I get with a hot metaly ill girl? Do women like it when you complain about others to make yourself seem different?

>>34883751
I get mistaken for a girl a lot because I'm honest and open over the Internet but I still also have traits of a guy. I would like a girl as a friend but I probably unfriend you if you got a boyfriend not beacause I want to get with you but it's too depressing to be friends with someone who is in a relationship.

>>34883201
I sent the message. I'm not drunk, but I spent a good 5 minutes making it appear like I'm not drunk.

Sent 20 minutes ago, nothing. Time to feel even worse.

Why is a girl that I am on good terms with seemingly ignoring/avoiding my calls and messages? Is she just busy or am I really dense?

>>34882059
>go to college class
>old MILF teacher comments during class that I have the body of a wrestler and look fit (I'm not, just 5'6" and have broad shoulders, I'm 100 pounds overweight and wear sweaters to hide the flab)
>all the females look at me differently after the comment
>cute girl I catch looking at me several times in class
>after class, I walk out and walk to main campus (building class is in is like 2 miles away from main campus so everyone drives there except I'm a no car, no license loser)
>girl checking me out during class pulls over and tells me to get in
>we barely make small talk
>she drives me from class to main campus for a few weeks, we don't really say much beyond topical shit
>last day of class, she drops me off and looks at me and says "Guess I'll see you around?" and I say "Yeah" and slam her car door shut

Did I miss something? Was she interested in me or was she just doing me a favor? I'm too stupid for this stuff.