/britfeel/

first for getting shitfaced

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>papa johns sent me a text about a 2for1 special on pizzas
Things are looking alright lads

Tonights the night lads. I'm finally going to do it. I'm gonna take a spoon to the face

>>34867010
>that sucks lad, gonna treat yourself tonight to one?

Yeah, they've got a deal on where if you buy a 12" you get a 9" free. Gonna get me some meat feast tonight.

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rate my waifu, lads. please be nice.

>>34867063
>not a vegetarian
dreadful lad

>>34866757
Fuck britfeel

Unoriginal

>>34867078
I dunno how you live with no meat

Tenth for the guy opposite me on the bus rolling a joint

>>34867078
>>34867121
I'm not a vegetarian, but have you guys ever had a veggie supreme before. For some reason I prefer them to the meat pizzas, there's just more variety in flavour throughout. Vegetables are underrated.

>>34867071
Nice, a rare Satsuki. With improved eyebrows.

>>34867071
2/10. Literal shit. And I mean literal shit

What films is everyone planning to watch tonight?

>>34867155
I have an odd appreciation for people who don't give a shit about smoking weed in public.

Keep on keeping on, you glorious bastards.

>>34867190
I know. I feel like I've gotta hide in a bunker or some shit to do it

>>34867180
none
I'm going to play Darkest Dungeon instead

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Good evening, /britfeel/!

How have your days been today?

I hope whatever life had in store for you today you're feeling well and you've had a great day!

If not, I hope you feel better soon. It's not easy to find the good in the bad but how could you leave a world with these cute little feckers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-Zfozy7gGI

>tfw too busy at work so didn't get my free subway
My only plan for valentines was ruined! The marmite toast I had instead was ok though I guess.

>>34867071
rip senketsu/10 ;_;

>>34867180
Not a film but I'm thinking of watching The Trip. Does anyone know if it's any good?

>>34867159
Never had a veggie pizza before, might try one I guess.

The spicy vegetarian pizza that pizza hut do is quite nice

>>34867200
I have to hide in a bunker, dispose of the clothes I was wearing afterwards and make sure no one sees my eyes until the next day.

I don't even get high enough to change how I function. Just pleasantly buzzed.

On the way to meet qt asian gf for valentines.
Not got a present for her.
Not sure where to have dinner. Maybe subway.
Gonna make her pay.
Will update you guys on the evening progress

Just shit myself again.

Think good about yourselves that at least you aint as pathetic as me.

>>34867213
>The Trip. Does anyone know if it's any good?
had high hopes for it but it was just pretentious crap to try and cover up that the show was anything more than Rob Brydon doing bad impressions

>>34867159
Used to have vegetarian hot one from pizza hut sometimes

>>34867190

I personally would love to slit their throats.

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>>34867213
>How have your days been today?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9aydqNXtOw
I'm Still Ill, need someone to tucc me

>>34867282
If she's japanese then she's supposed to get you something

>>34867341
i walk around smoking splifs desu, and i carry a knife, i'm off to shop now with a splif in my mouth. i hope i run into some cunt like (You)

>>34867180
not films but I'll probably just sit and watch star trek alone

>>34867323
Hmm maybe I'll avoid then, anything you'd recommend by any chance?

>>34867354
That picture is cute as hell. Hope you get better soon though! Get wrapped up and comfy and drink tea!

>>34867487
If TNG you have good taste, might watch it with you.

>>34867456

Funny how much of a tough guy you probably see yourself as, you'd be no match for me mate.

>>34867564
*pushes you into the canal*

>>34867613
Ow!!! What was that for?

>>34867640
no you're supposed to drown!

>>34867564
if you're the lad i was replying to,who said
>I personally would love to slit their throats.
i'll say the same back to you mate. you got the impression you're a hard bastard eh?.
you started down the throat slitting route i just responded in kind.

Hey, whatever happened to that Comb Prince boy /r9k/ was obsessed over for like a week some time ago? IIRC, he went to some London prep school.

mummy made triffle

>>34867718
Can I have some please?

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>>34867718
>mummy is making ravioli

>>34867753
no. my mummy made it especially for me.

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>tfw no self esteem and unable to form meaningful connections because my dad was a borderline emotionally abusive alcoholic and my mum infantilized me all throughout my teenage years

cba today

>>34867765
THIS IS NOT AN OFFICIAL TRIFFLE ANON POST

>>34867775
come cuddle with me and my waifu, lad. we will make you feel better.

>>34867765
Come on, be a /goodlad/!
Is the custard nice?

>>34867764
Ravioli is good too! Does she make it from scratch? If so that's impressive.

>>34867775
I'll be your friend, buddy.

>>34867180
I can't think of any films I'm interested in watching, but I plan on hunting down series 3 of Peaky Blinders and getting through that over the course of my shift.

>>34867213
evening lenner
another day, another handful of quids

>>34867932
Evening friendo!
Wish they'd stop paying me in handfuls of quids and just top up my bank like everyone else.

Is this Security-anon, famed protector of the night thread?

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>>34867764
>mummy is on holiday in brighton shagging my dad in a premier inn since I moved out a year ago and my bipolar NEET sister fucked off to america two months ago

>>34867852
>>34867875
thank you lads
just annoying to think about how much of my life has been wasted because of a lifetime of learned helplessness
at least i'm not feeling >tfw no gf

https://youtu.be/lul-Y8vSr0I
Thread theme

>>34868009
I like Shatner's spoken word singing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1moHWpLv-w

>>34867998
i doubt any of us have gfs in here lad. we know your pain. we must be strong. we can over come this. we can beat this together like brother in arms.

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>tfw space bar is sticking

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Been playing total war again and forgot its Valentines Day haha.
>>34867213
vidya and chill.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0KATxruxyo

have a nice day with the cute boy you love :^)

>>34867282
45 minutes early to meet gf.
She finishes work at 7
In Covent garden.
Gonna grab a pint whilst checking out all the other qt3.14s

>>34867775

Hey fuck off, that's my life story.

haha how do people even make friends anyway

>>34867518
>anything you'd recommend by any chance?
What sort of stuff are you into?

>>34867991
>mummy is on holiday in brighton shagging my dad in a premier inn
Just realised my parents are on holiday too...

thanks for that thought anon.

>want to flirt with a girl
>constant third wheel

How do I kill him and make it look like an accident ?

I did not expect this turn of events in Barton Fink. This is certainly something.

>>34868277

> "say, billy, can you come for a talk with me"
> go to nearest body of water; canal, fast-moving river etc.
> push third-wheel into it
> leave the scene

Give him a lethal dose of len.

>>34868226
Crime thrillers, anything depressing/melancholic or just plain over the top. I like all sorts really!


>>34868114
I used to play the shit out of cossacks when I was a kid but now I'm shite at them, wish I could git gud cause that total war looks p fun.

>tfw no boy for valentines

>>34867564
bad news lad
no dogood vigilante bastards on my trip to the shop, even walked to the supermarket
>walk by more people, might bump into 1
no joy, even walking through a group of chavs
no joy
but, good news
got 12 cans of beer for 7.77. breddy good.
even gave a ha nice digits to the lass behind the till. no joy from her either though, looked at me like i was a fool.

>>34868114
you meeting up with azu for some 'cuddling'?

>>34867969
It certainly is, forever and always.

Handfuls of quids are useful for security guards. You can put them in a sock and fight off would-be invaders.

>>34868048
His version of Common People is fucking great.

>>34868009
Oh shit this is why they have that bit in Futurama.

>>34868367
total war right now is in a really good place and i am enjoying it greatly.

>>34868415
I dont think he wants me to poz his neghole anymore lmao.

so many stacies are posting all the shit they got for simply existing on normiebook

why do people just pay them to exist?

i was friends with a girl, and i had a poop at her house. it was so awkward, when i pooping i farted loudly and i swear she hear because when i was finished she had such a smile on her face.

>ask paki girl in my class if she's a christian
>she seems really offended and scoffs "why are you saying that?"
>mention that it's because she's clearly celebrating St Valentine's day
>she gets in a huff and doesn't talk for the rest of class
>puts her love badge in the bin on the way out

>>34868548
sounds like she was into it

>>34868570
lol, butthurt shitskin

Their stupid retarded religion should be illegal

>>34868570
It's what they deserve for trying to steal one of our Patron Saints. Valentine's day has gone on for too long. It's Saint Valentine's Day, by God.

>>34868570
>mocking pakis trying to integrate into society

You're a waste of space mate, at least target the ones who mock christian values

>>34868367
You ever seen Seven, lad?

>>34868643
>trying to integrate
>doesn't renounce islam
Yeah jog on Rasheed.

Been single for over 8 1/2 years no. Valentines never usually gets to me but damn this year sucks.

Trying to avoid all the shit by just playing games but it's *everywhere* All over every site I visit just all this love crap.

>>34868705
Don't worry lad, I was meant to go on a date tonight but I found out from mutual friends that she has sex with anyone for pretty much anything. She shagged some lad for a pizza. Usually I'd laugh but I really liked her. Had to cancel our date out of principle so I'm here at home as usual playing video games all night.

>>34868705
i have hardly been reminded of it desu. i just have this theread open, youtube on, and word open to do uni work.

we can get through this solider. get back on your feet.

I decided not to get the burgundy trainers toiday when I saw a paki wearing a pair
Burgundy seems to be a popular colour for clothes right now too

Work was fine despite my cold resurging
I shadowed the gay guy again, I couldn't laugh at his jokes, he was mostly nice except when he called a customer "thick"

>>34868673
>christfag
Britain is atheist

>>34868773
>Britain is atheist
It really isn't

>>34868773
Good idea anon. They weren't cute.

>>34868773
Where does the post mention Christianity?

>>34868788
it is

people might claim to be "christian" but if they don't go to church every sunday then they're not

>>34868788
not him but they are even openly atheist on tv shows. our culture is embedded with christian values but very few people properly believe in it, at most you get the odd person that will say they are a christian but they dont actually follow any of it.

>>34868850
I think you get a lot of people who say they are Christian. But generally don't practice. Look at census. Majority of people select Christian.
There are also churches all over the place. In my town there is literally about 30. People must be going to these.

>>34868846
all you need to be a christian is to believe in jesus

New french girl is like a 100/10.. Not gonna bother desu.

>>34868705
I was single for six years with no female contact before I met my current gf. It'll come out of nowhere, lad. Have faith, it'll happen. I promise.

Valentine's day is bollocks anyway, my gf and I don't celebrate it because we think it's a day for people who can't express how much they appreciate each other during the other 364. Don't feel shit about all the gushy wank you're reading, remember it's being pushed by the kind of people I just described.

I think the tranny has a problem with me
Our trainer intentionally paired us up with people to shadow and despite being next in line, I didn't get her

Or maybe the trainer thinks I can't function around women

>>34868788
Church is Salford just got burned down

>>34868806
I couldn't find a pic of the other ones, they were just plain with a small "airwalk" tag

>>34868659
I have! I really liked it however you somehow reminded me of a film I've been meaning to see called Minority Report!

Thank you, anon!

>>34868422
An honour to be in your presence during the day, Right Honourable Security-anon!

And that's so resourceful! No wonder you're good at your job.

>>34868905
>People must be going to these.

mostly old people. very few people our age go to church. i know like one guy from every single person i know who is a proper christian, and he was a dick tbqh. i think you get a fair few people who say they are christian but im not even counting most of them because they dont even read the bible or properly follow the philosophy or beliefs. its like me claiming to be stoic philospher but i have never read any stoic philosophy or follow the the beliefs.

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woke up at 6pm again

>>34869003

How did you stumble into a gf? what were the events?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY3Yqhsdoc0&t=0s

wow, simply amazing yet again mummy kay!

>>34869127
Morning anon. Have a comfy day/night.

Waking up and eating dinner immediately is pretty good desu.

>>34869138
Is that fucking Kays Good Cooking merchandise. I'm disgusted yet impressed

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>>34869049
I don't deserve anywhere near that level of respect len, even ironically. I'm literally just a desk jockey who works unsociable hours.

Also, if you've never watched Luther, you should. Cracking show, should be right up your alley if you like crime drama.

Britain is absolutely a Christian country.

You might say people don't go to church every Sunday, but how many Muslims do all 5 prayers everyday? They might do one on Friday and that's it.

Britain has Christianity at it's core, we all celebrate Christmas, and most do something for Easter, most babies get christened, and a good proportion of marriages are in church, as are most funerals.

>>34869219
>we all celebrate christmas

ah yes the capitalistic holiday, very christian indeed

fuck off you cunt, most people aren't christian anymore

>>34869262
>CHRISTmas
>not christian

>>34869219
I've never met a christian in my life, other than one filipino immigrant

The postman must have taken a day off today!
Haha...

>>34869282
the basis for the holiday is christian, but people do not celebrate it for christian reasons anymore
it's purely a capitalist holiday now

Bloody hell lads, just found out you can be fined if you don't register to vote

>>34869326
>capitalist holiday
>celebrated even in Russia and China

erm try again

>>34869356
oh fuck off they're both capitalist these days

>>34869326
>it's purely a capitalist holiday now

Not at all, it's for families to get together, and even if gifts are exchanged, there is nothing wrong with that

>>34869356
>China
>the biggest capitalist nation in the world.

Try again lad

>>34869355
Only if you're asked to register.

>>34869356
>what is state capitalism

>>34869355
They use the voting register for gathering statistics and shit.

>>34869127
Good evening sleepyhead!

>>34869138
>How To Basic commented on her vid
Anons, we have to protect Kay from bullies!

>>34869212
Nonsense! Thread saviours deserve the highest praise, also i'm a bit jealous of your job t b h

Also you have good taste it seems! I'll definitely add that to my list then as I've been writing it off for reason, double thank you!

>>34869370
>>34869382
>>34869396
>proved wrong
>cry about it

Top kek.

might drink again tonight to cure the unimaginable boredom of being constantly alone

>>34869134
I went to college with her. We were friends, but not particularly close. In my third year of uni, when I was a shut-in hermit who only ever left the flat to hand in assignments and buy booze, living in a haze of depression, anxiety, weed smoke and whiskey vapour. She messaged me out of the blue, we chatted, and after I graduated we met up for coffee and the rest is history.

You can't plan it, you can't predict it. It's different for everyone, but it will happen, unless you lead an actively repulsive lifestyle and even then there's always hope. Chin up, lad. It's a matter of time, you just need to keep soldiering on until you get there.

>>34869127


You've gone feral, Anon.

Now open this door. >:)

>>34869219
>proved wrong
>cry about it
Kekk

>sat alone in my room reading the only valentine's day card I ever got back in 2004

what a life

THATS IT. IM GOING TO SHOW THEM ALL.

IM GOING TO BECOME BIG, AND MIGHTY, IM GOING TO BECOME A CHAD, AND THE WOMEN WILL FLOCK TO ME.

>>34869485
I still have the stickynote from when the Polish girl moved out

TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS S TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS NIGGER PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS TOILET PARTS

>>34869487
All it takes is one trip to /fit/ to see that getting swole isn't the guaranteed vag magnet we've been led to believe it is.

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I need help from anyone on universal credit before i pop holy shit

I'm filling out my claim online right now and I've reached the bank details section. No matter what I do it won't accept my name. Just keeps saying there's a problem with that field

Tried like 6 different possible variations but i'm getting nothing

>>34869560
unless you take steroids, or have amazing genetics, your body wont be good enough to solely attract women. with clothes on, most women will just think you're naturally built.

getting girls is mostly about having good social skills.

i do lift but mostly for myself.

Just wanted to have a spliff by myself for valentines day, all my dealers are dry or not dropping, shocker

>>34869602
Has to be what's on you card, capital letters and all

just poured my first whisky lads. 'uh oh' lads

>>34869652
You better be drinking malt and not blended, lad. Bourbon at the very least.

>tfw dermatophagia

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>>34869652
onto my second beer

let the normie free evening begin!

>>34869676
Just a bottle of bells. sorry lad

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>>34869680
I am required to include text with an image post

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Mummy made homemade chilli, it's about to get comfy

what actually makes someone a normie? serious question. not looking for argument, just what to know what people consider a normie.

>>34869713
You can get a bottle of Jim Beam for the same price or a couple of quid cheaper, and it tastes less like a sawblade.

>>34869768
Many things lad, basically just someone who's normal.

>>34869766
Jealous lad!

>tfw Sainsburys stopped selling cornbread

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who /selfharm/ here?

origami

>>34869766
>tfw no mum to cook meals for me.

>>34869768
I think it's just a label applied to people we perceive as being in a more favourable and socially competent position so we've got an enemy to unite against.

I feel like I'd be branded a normie by /r9k/'s standards, but I sure as hell don't feel like one.

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I thought Valentine's was on the 17th?

>>34869790
>just someone who's normal.

i get that but people on here will say someone is normal for just having friends. i know lots of people with friends but they are still outcasts. the idea is to be friends with other outcasts if you're weird

>>34869768
Any of
>having friends
>not being a virgin
>doing drugs
>socially skilled
etc.

>>34869828
>doing drugs
>normie
lol

>>34869819
>I feel like I'd be branded a normie by /r9k/'s standards, but I sure as hell don't feel like one.

iktf

>>34869841
>alcohol and weed aren't normie as fuck

>>34869828
you missed drama, 'travesty' and gossip

robots take drugs and virginity is not defining of a normie. robots can pay for it which doesn't count

>>34869866
Robots can, but don't. That's a defining difference.

>>34869864
not when you're doing them alone in excessive amounts several times a week

Was planing on asking out a girl today but didn't see her

>>34869892
Best give it a couple of weeks so Chad's semen is fully absorbed by her.

>>34869819
>slightly too normal for r9k
>way too weird for society.

Guess I never should have had sex with that girl seven years ago. Now I'll never fit in anywhere.

>friend when to see the new 50 shades film on valentines day
>he went by himself
At least I'm not to bad

>>34869892
you might be able to suck chads cum off her finger

>>34869886
Even then mate. They require social interaction.

Do you know why we call ourselves robots? Because we wouldn't pass the Turing test. We're asocial.

>>34869892
My excuse was that she was busy all the time I was near her in class but I know that if she wasn't I still would never have the guts.

>>34869913
Society made you feel like you didn't fit in, you sure as fuck shouldn't let /r9k/ make you feel the same way. You're here because you feel like you belong.

>>34869940
He doesn't belong here though, he's destined for reddit.

>>34869928
>Do you know why we call ourselves robots? Because we wouldn't pass the Turing test
I'm pretty sure it's just because the board is called Robot 9001.

>>34869976
No, that's not the case.

>>34869906
>>34869921
Naa lads, she's a little autistic (like 4chan autistic, not real autistic), the only guy I've ever seen talk to her is some weird manlet guy

>>34869932
Mine is that she doesn't talk to people, so how do you approach someone that doesn't talk to anyone??

>>34869994
By talking to her

>>34869994
Oh an autistic girl? Well then don't worry, nobody will have asked her out and definitely won't be splitting her cunt tonight.

I know nothing about weed but I want to try some. I looked on the dark web but I have no idea what type to get.

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>>34869928
i actually have the opposite opinion - if you don't use alcohol/drugs as a form of escapism/self-medication, you're either under age or not fucked up enough yet
but sure mate, whatever you say

>>34870017
get some pineapple express

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>>34866757
Japan has finally joined the beta uprising lads! Out of the basements and into the streets!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-38966636

>>34869990
I'm quite certain it is.

>>34870001
You know what I mean, I've tried to start a conversation with her and she never really knows how to respond

>>34870009
Thats what I'm hoping

the manlet meme isn't real lads. I over heard a girl on the train today saying how she fucked a midget just to see what it was like. she said his dick was huge and she wants to fuck him again.

>>34870037
This is the Japanese version of fat/ugly girls complaining about PDA's because no one wants to fuck them.

>>34870062
>a midget
not a manlet

>>34869816
only when i need cheering up

>>34870037
>muh feelings
fucking hysterical

>>34870077
hit the nail on the fucking head

>>34870017
ignore all the names, it's stupid stoner culture bullshit.
all you need to know is the difference between sativa and indica
sativa get's you very stoned, makes you think deep, great for being blown away by films and listening to music
indica is a lot weaker, it mainly just makes you tired, good for zoning out on the internet

>>34870062
Midgets aren't manlets, they're mythical beings.

>within the next few hours the girl you love will have all her holes filled

And here you are powerless to stop it. What a cuckold you have become.

>>34870062
The dicklet meme is though.

>>34870062
yeah. its just another excuse for people to justify their lack of experience with girls and for tall guys to feel superior. its all about confidence and social skills. unfortunately i am socially retarded so i dont get girls.

>>34870050
Oh I see

Well she might not want to talk to you

Or she could be someone like me who is bad at keeping a conversation going because she has one conversation or less a day.

>>34870108
You seem to be confusing us for people still in secondary school

>>34870050
If she's autistic she'll appreciate you being straight forward with her.

>>34870130
Secondary schoolers don't have sex.

>>34870142
Hope you don't really believe that, that's some serious naivety

>>34870142
Maybe you didn't

>>34870168
>>34870171
I don't know what third world school you went to then. Probably one up north.

>>34870142
Joke's on you, I'd had sex by year 8 because I had a girlfriend who was all geared up on puberty and forced me into it.

>>34870108
good thing i dont love anyone, or like anyone. only females i talk to are a few girls in uni and they annoy me more than anything.

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>>34870108
Heh jokes on you, I haven't felt emotion towards another person in years

>even these... things... can find love
>you can't

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38925034

>>34870188
you didn't have any friends in school, did you?
it was happening, but nobody told you about it
you poor, poor thing

>>34870188
just because they weren't fucking 6 inches away from your face doesn't mean it didn't happen

>>34870188
Even posh schools they're at it like rabbits

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>>34870125
I dont see her talk to anyone, so I'm guessing that its a general thing and not a specific to me thing

>less than one conversation a day
>tfw I know that feel

>>34870135
Good point anon, I guess if it was the other way around I'd just want her to come up to me and say "Hello, I see you around all the time in lectures, nice to meet you"

>>34870142
Got to third base in secondary school, wasn't worth it, sex stuff is best first time

>>34870217
Yes I had friends, so I'd know about it. But it really didn't happen, the only rumours regarding it were related to the pikeys.

>>34870203
yeah, but they're married to other retards
they have services to match these people up

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I hope you can spend tonight with someone special lads

>>34870243
Why are you wearing a glove?

>>34869445

Fair enough. I've had chances with women that I failed to capitalise on over the years.

My biggest problem is that I'm looking to enter the dating scene just as all the women are looking to leave it and settle down and I never, ever want kids. I'd rather die alone than raise someone elses mistake.

I'm 29 years old, NEET, still live with my mum, can't drive and haven't worked for 9 years. What is it I have to offer any kind of relationship? I have no worth as a man.

I had a female friend tell me that there are some women out there who only want love. I honestly don't think I'm even capable of feeling love. Been depressed and anxious for almost half my life I can't even remember what happy is.

>>34870243
>4:3 monitor

what is wrong with you

>>34870251
>touching your penis with your bare hands
disgusting.

i was morbidly curious so i searched rule_34 for drew scanlon

>>34870237
Is there a dating site for insecure people with anxiety and other mental problems? I don't think so.

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>>34870251
Finger in the pooper

>>34870272
>not touching your penis with your barehands and licking the pre-cum juice off them

>>34870277
I remember one being posted here a few times at one point

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>>34870037
Based Japan as always

>>34870277
why would you want to date a girl like that
and what girl would join that website

>>34870243
Let me nut in your waifus womb lad

Any of you lads a quantity surveyor?

Got an engineering degree but QS's get paid a good bit more - looking to re-train as a QS in one academic year or less desu, probably part time to get me to a standard where I can freelance and get that sweet day rate.

>>34870077
Except fat/ugly girls have literally no excuse, so no it's not.

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>>34870277
>Is there a dating site for insecure people with anxiety and other mental problems? I don't think so.
Yep there is

how many girls have you fucked lads? i have done 2, i came inside a girl a few weeks ago. going fuck some more women during the summer.

>>34870277
http://www.searchmate.co.uk/

their was one called "outsiders" that focused on helping people with social difficulties, but it's gone now

>>34870355
>J date
>think Japanese
>start getting excited
>page loads

now the logo makes sense

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>>34870355
Googled that shit
kek

>>34870360
Seems like you're on the wrong board mate.

>>34870355
>I'm so shy and nervous. I have social anxiety. I can only party for a couple of nights before I recharge, and it's hard being around Chad for an entire week

Literally every woman with "anxiety"

>>34870360
girls? completed it mate
banged em all

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>>34870360
None
Slags always have better offers to fuck than me

>>34870270

It's 16:10, which I admit in many ways is worse.

>>34870251

What kind of barbarian does "that" with their bare hands

>>34870402
16:10 is master race
much better than 16:9 garbage

>>34867213
pretty sick, tore out some walls, slacked off, drank my bodyweight in tea, came home to some steak and kidney pie

new skateboard deck came in today too

>>34869816

I used to starve and dehydrate myself, and a few months I would get angry and punch myself really hard in the legs. I'm glad to say I'm beyond all that now.

>>34870382
what board should i be on? i thought this was for british lads. my gazzer told me about it last night. said he comes on here and you're all a right laugh

>>34870402
Your right. I've been so careless. I could have contaminated my waifu.

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>>34870430
If you're here tonight then you're on the right board, you just don't know it yet

grab a waifu pillow and settle in for the night

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>>34870430
The cool brits are in /brit/ on /int/, this is for the losers of our country

>>34870360
7 but I met all of them on Habbo Hotel.

inb4 nonce

>>34870458
And by 'your' I mean 'you're'.

>>34870412
>16:10 is master race

Enjoy watching your 1080p shows on a monitor with 1050 lines.

Where do you think those extra 30 rows of pixels go?

>>34870430
>my gazzer

not

>arr gazza

You revealed yourself, infiltrator!

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>>34870360
Had sex with one girl once, its was a horrible decision

>Be me
>Be 18
>Been seeing a girl for 2 months
>Kind of like her
>Shes a bit difficult sometimes
>Decide that it must just be women
>We make out sometimes, she's very touchy
>Says she wants to have sex
>I guess thats a good thing
>Buy condoms
>She comes back to mine
>My mam leaves the house to pick up my sister
>This gives us an hour
>Take off clothes
>Put on condom
>feels weird
>feel uncomfortable naked in front of her
>Try to stick it in
>Having a really struggle
>She refused help me
>Finally stick it in
>Shes really tight
>But not in a good way
>Like in a shes got a death grip in a benis kind of way
>Shes on top
>Bouncing up and down on me
>Doesnt make a sound
>doesnt look me in the eye
>she speeds up a little
>then slows down
>gets up off me
>puts on her clothes
>leaves

>I got used, didnt I anons?

>>34870481
who cares? I don't watch movies on a monitor like some autist, I play video games

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>>34866757

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
A dose of morphine
Is what I've got for you!

>>34870487
>he lay there like a dead fish with a harpoon in it

>>34870487
dated this mental girl for a while
didn't like her at all, she'd hurt herself when i tried to break up
faked my orgasms because I didn't want to risk cumming inside her for the slim chance of ripped or (less slim) punctured condom

>>34868367
>anything depressing/melancholic or just plain over the top. I like all sorts really!
Have you watched Black Mirror? That shit is great.

I'm about to embark on the new series of Homeland.

i carved a cross into my arm with a razor once
what's the edgiest thing you've ever done?

>>34870579
I have scars from cutting myself with plastic scissors.

I was awful at self harm.

>>34870579
Slit my wrist once so I could make out with a scene girl in year 10. Looking back on it now that whole situation was weird

>>34870579
Made a girl cry, just for fun.

>>34870524
And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those pesky computer forensic experts!

>>34870487
holy shit you don't know how to have sex do you? I'm a virgin but still I know you need to make her cum at least once using your fingers or mouth before you stick it in.

>>34870648
I did that once, gave me a boner, sex is weird

>>34870655
You watch too much porn. Most girls hate having their minge played with.

>>34870614
something similar happened to me
i tried to slit my wrist with my keys once, obviously i didn't actually cut me deep, but it somehow left scars

>>34870655
Thanks for the advice t.virgin
Hows your advice worked for you?

>>34870655
i have had sex a handful of time and i never make the girl cum before fucking her, it would take too long. you should finger the girl and give her oral to get her wet and ready, and then you fuck her until she comes, if you come first then you pull out and make her cum from oral

>>34870669
[citation needed]

oregano salad

>>34870556
>dated this mental girl for a while
This is my fetish lad, I had a girl who liked me who carved her name into her arm with a razor blade, ever since the thought of girls self harming has turned me on

>>34870699
if you come first then you leave and don't call her

>>34870710
She wasn't mental in a good or sexy way believe me.

>>34870669
>having their minge played with

If that's how you suggest it to them it's no wonder they don't like it

>>34870735
mental girls are normally the worst. the sex can be great but anything else is fucking annoying. i dated a girl who was obsessed with the new age and it just pissed me off after a while

Thinking about getting a dog lads, do any of you have a dog? Where to start? and what breed? I was thinking of a German Shepherd

>>34870258
>I'm 29 years old, NEET, still live with my mum, can't drive and haven't worked for 9 years
None of these are significant obstacles to the point where they'll make you incapable of finding someone. I'm 28, only moved out a year ago, can't drive either and haven't held a job for longer than six months. You'll find your way out of your situation eventually, life constantly throws you unexpected curveballs, good as well as bad.
Your friend is right, there are women out there who only want love. Not all men are Chads, and similarly, not all women are Chad-hungry despite what the /r9k/ persecution complex wants you to believe. I didn't think I was capable of feeling love either after the shit I'd been through, but the right person brings that out. I'm not kidding when I say you really can't plan or predict it. It just happens, and when it does, it hits you like a truck.

You're far from alone, lad. There are people who have been in your position and found their happiness. Don't let the fact you haven't found it yet make you believe you never will; you should never take it as gospel that past performance is an accurate indication of future returns.

>>34870843
Dogs are haraam, don't do it

>>34870710
No girl has ever liked me before. all I want is a crazy clingy girl whos obsessed with me and really dominant.

>>34870828
>obsessed with the new age
What the fuck is that? Fucking would have slapped that cunt.

>>34870855
>You'll find your way out of your situation eventually, life constantly throws you unexpected curveballs, good as well as bad.

And the platitudes never stop

>>34870855
What sort of used up whore is he going to get at 29? Will it even be worth it at that point?

>>34870869
gtfo with that sand jew shit, whats wrong with a dog?

>>34870843
be very kind gentle and nice to the puppah. pet the puppah gently and often - the puppah requires attention.

>>34870872
I rejected her in high school because she was weird and I was worried my mates would mock me for dating a psycho that read incest literature and had a rape fetish. Regret it now though

>>34870899
Nothing he's just a non-white.

>>34870843
depends how patient you are

you might love your dog but he/she will require a lot of attention, time and effort

>>34870869
Never trust someone who doesn't like dogs.

They're mans oldest friend.

>>34870669
Only the ones who were touched by daddy when they were young. You've been fiddling with damaged goods, lad.

>>34870951
Except our dad hasn't been around since she was born.

>>34870879
dont know how to explain. its basically some weird spiritual cult thing. best googling it if you want to understand it better.

>>34870923
I haven't got any mates so I don't need to worry about that.

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>>34870828
>obsessed with the new age
please tell me more

>>34870894

Yeah I honestly feel like it's not even worth putting in the effort at this point.

Women in their early to mid 20's just want to fuck around as much as possible. Then they'll go to uni, get a job and a few years after that their biological clock starts screaming at them to start a family.

I'm not attractive or experienced enough for a girl in her early 20's
I'm too immature and have no status for a late 20's early 30's girl

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>want a pet for a companion
>know a dog or cat would be too costly

>>34870978
late 20s early 30s girl just means single mother or nth hand cum rag

>>34870969
>our dad
This took an interesting turn and I like it

>>34870989
befriend a stray cat then. feed him tuna

>>34870843
Adopt one from the shelter.

>>34870946
Very patient, I think I'd do a good job

>>34870989
Thats my big hold back to anon

>>34871001
defo, got the family cats for a shelter, its the right thing to do

>>34870976
she had crazy spiritual beliefs and believed in the Illuminati. i was kinda into conspiracy theories when i frst got talking to her, i started to realize how retarded it is, tried convincing her but she didnt listen.

her sister in law thought she channeled aliens

its pretty funny thinking back

>>34870973
Neither do I really, we're still on good terms but barely see each other anymore. One of the main reasons I regret it. She was cute as well but I cared so much about pointless social stigma I acted like I was above her.

>>34870989
Rats are very affectionate and cheap, but the problem is that they don't live for long.

>>34870999
trips of truth

luyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgv luyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgvluyghlygbkuhjybgkgvjgfcvjghbkujhbkhgfcnmhjj;lgvcmjhfvmhb mhgbg vmnhv nhgbkjhbkgvkhfcjgfc khgvkvkgv

>>34870989
Get a bird

>>34871030
Naaa anon, thats what you want, if she channeled aliens that means she open for a little light probing

>>34870989

Cats cost fuck all, mine was 50 quid to get as a kitty with all his injections.

Food is about 2 quid a week.

>>34870989
get a pet rock

>>34871035
even I did have mates I've gotten to point where I don't give a shit about anyone and what they think of me.

>>34871066
>2 quid a week

guess it feeds itself rats when hes hungry eh.

>>34871066
You are a fucking liar or your cat is anorexic.

lads i've seen the french girl

she is a legit 10 out of ten, smoking hot. can anyone recommend a spy camera for the bathroom?

>>34871087
I have now lad but as a 15 year old, you really do care. Looking back on it now it's silly and pointless

>>34871137
invest your money in a fresh pack of spaghetti instead, you'll need it

>>34871137
You the house sharing lad? I thought you'd seen her already

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what's the deal with this?

>one of the side effects of the anti-depressents the doctor prescribed me, is depression
thanks doc

>>34871220
My ex used to get tied when she drank energy drinks.

1 in a thousand have a fucked up effect, unlikely to be you

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>>34871220
>one of the side effects of the anti-depressents the doctor prescribed me, is depression
I shouldn't be laughing this much

What do you think Rihanna is doing for valentine's day?

>>34871241
The thing is that the pills were prescribed for my anxiety, I got over my depression by failing to kill myself and getting everything off my chest to my parents.

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>>34871218
i meant this why is it a jpeg

>>34871220
its possible they can have the adverse effect, now you should know if that's the case, then you go back and ask to try something else that doesn't give you that effect.

>>34871327
Maybe if you had a video I could help you with the mystery.

>>34871338
How would you know it was making you depressed instead of not working?

>>34871218
just azulad getting ready to be pounded by junlad haha

thinking about joining the raf. should I? I don't want to be stacking shelves at asda forever.

>>34871355
well for me by depression became a lot more extreme. I was listening to linkin park a lot more.

>>34871369
join logistics and you can stack shelves on an RAF base for 10 years before going back to stacking shelves at asda forever

going to work out lads. wish me luck.

im training to get enough strength to lift you lads up when you are down.

there was a news paper report t.other day that said army was creating a new type of position where you didn't have to go on the front lines.

is it bad to enjoy watching videos of people being killed? I go on the death addict forums all the time. I think there's something wrong with me.

>>34871397
>disappears into the sunset never to return
*wipes tear from eye*

>>34871416
lol yeah it's called "officer" and it's been about since the 1800s

>>34870886
What's wrong with giving reassurances? Spinning it as a negative by calling it a platitude doesn't make it true, and certainly doesn't do any good. Neither does telling him he's fucked for good so we can all circlejerk in our misery some more.

>>34870978
Believe what your depression tells you, but it'll turn around. I've said all there is to say, and I've meant every word.

>>34868154
Had a delicious chinense meal. Now just chatting with qt girlfriend waiting for the bill.

>>34871416
>>34871445
that's what I was thiking of.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4215714/Soldiers-offered-three-day-week-no-line-combat.html

>>34871416
You mean another position. Jobs like that have been around for fucking centuries.

>>34871488
>daily mail
Hearty keks.

>>34871522
inb4...oh shit nvm

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>Ordering pizza
>Feel like I need to order a large so they don't figure out it's just for me and my waifu

>>34871424
Yeah, pretty bad. Best to take yourself down to your GP and explain yourself, before you hurt somebody.

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>>34871433
soon, lad.

>>34870421
Wew sounds like an exhaustive day! Good choice of pie though, doesn't beat the old steak and ale tho

That's cool, any chance of a pic?

>>34870567
I've watched random episodes and thought they were really good, I need to watch them all!

>>34871542
but I don't want to hurt someone and i would never, I'm a submissive beta.

>>34871541
Order a second, especially if its a 2for1 special

>>34871712
You could still hurt someone by refusing to help them when they are in urgent danger.

>>34871095
>>34871118

I get him a box of go kat from the paki shop for a quid every few days.

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>have enough orbs in FE Heroes to roll a set of 5 heroes
>but the new characters might be coming out this week, including my waifu
>seeing the orbs not be spent is killing me

>>34871738
I wouldn't refuse to help someone. it's different in real life than behind a computer screen.

>>34867078
>not a vegan
are you even trying, lad?

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>>34871767
>tfw your latest rolls were all 3 stars of meme characters like Setsuna

>tfw the bad news just keeps coming
>expecting something good since "i'm due"
>nope

>>34871716
Yeah decided to do two for tuesday instead

Just ran for an hour and a half. Then got in and demolished my second foot long sub of the day followed by 3 toffee crisps. Don't think I broke even there.

>>34871810
i feel the same way, I feel like something good needs happen to me

>>34871810
That's a normie meme. Sure, everyone has bad times and suffer from them. But normies have the financial, social, psychological means to cope with them so get used to being "due" good times.

For a lot of people, they just keep coming.

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Uni work done for today lads, gonna get drunk and watch some animus.

>>34871809
She's ok, Hana's the better Hoshidan retainer.

>>34871902
Just buy the ingredients and make your own subs you fucking pleb

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>>34871938
>uni
>work

>>34866757

Did Tescos make those Bavaria beers 25p more expensive and 50mml smaller?

They were the best shit beer ever.

>>34871940
Hana was actually my first red stone summon, she's pretty much been kicking ass for me since day 1

>>34871932
I don't understand why anybody would trust a robot's opinion on what is and isn't normie mentality. It's like trusting medical advice because
>trust me I watch a lot of House M.D.

I don't pretend to know what normies think, and I don't care to.

Not sure how people can function on minimal sleep. There are lads ITT and elsewhere who stay up until 2 or 3, go to bed then have to get up 3 hours later for work.

I'm considering getting ready for bed right now to be up at 07:00 tomorrow and I will definitely still be falling asleep on the train to work.

>>34872013
>Not sure how people can function on minimal sleep.
We don't

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>>34866757

>Try to make a patient record
>Get ghosted

Every time, why do I even bother lads