my fucking job makes me want to kill myself

>>34859775
I'm guess you work at a call center? At least you don't work fast food or retail. It's almost slavery

>>34859775
How bad is it, anon? Retail? Call center? Back alley prostitution?

Someone I worked with recently killed herself. She used to work 70 hours a week

>>34859817
Ah. Was she a friend of yours?

>>34859817

What kind of job gives you that much OT?

>>34859775
All jobs make me want to kill myself, part-time or full-time. God fucking damn do I hate working.

Fuck showing up on time, fuck dealing with people, fuck staying late, fuck whatever the fuck they tell me to do, fuck people micromanaging me, fuck people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about, and fuck designated lunch times.

>>34859826
Kind of. I certainly liked her. She was an older Egyptian lady. She was kind of perpetually grumpy and she didn't like to talk to anyone which I was okay with.
>>34859842
Subway

>>34859775
>>34859795
Are call centres really that bad?

>>34859867

Subway the fast food, or a city's subway system?

Me too.

It's not so much the job itself, it's having to be around people all day, with their fucking incessant talking.

>>34859859
Same fuck wagecucking.

>>34859980
There's a reason it fell into the same category as back alley prostitution...and retail.

>>34859817
I stuggle not to off myself on 40 hours no idea how anyone can do 7

>>34860023
Fast food. It's in a gas station so there's night shifts as well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7xai5u_tnk

I might walk out of my job today. Too stressful and this client made a complaint, which is Kinda my fault as well. I just don't have it in me for this week.

An hero or quit me thinks

>>34860219
I'm surprised Indians would give that much OT

>>34860291
Right now I'd dream of working in a comfy gas station . Instead my office job might make me an hero

File: 1486824652272.jpg (273KB, 567x567px)

273KB, 567x567px

>>34859794
>>34860194
From what little experience I've got retail is easy; give zero fucks and still retain some minor degree of competence. If you're capable enough to do both of these things you alleviate a great deal of stress and manage to secure a position because massa' won't fire you, it would mean more work for his stupidass.

>manual laborer
>12 hours a day three days a week
>alone 90% of the time
>given a task at the start of a shift and 12 hours to complete it
>listen to podcasts and music the whole time
>$20 an hour

You guys should give it a go.

>>34860414
That's very true. Even if you're semi-competent but lazy, you're in no danger of being fired.

Honestly, even if you're incompetent and lazy, as long as you're a body filling a shift, you're probably fine.

>>34860501
>>34860501
Did manual labour but was 5 days and only 10e an hour. Fuck that shit. 3 days for 18e a hour sounds good though

>>34860501
the problem there is that I'm fat and can't pick up heavy things. I'm fat because I hate picking up heavy things, actually.

>>34860414
i've worked in the food industry for years and it's by far the biggest load of shit. looking forward to working for a call center instead. i also worked for a shitty company though

>>34860501
Although I don't mind heavy physical labour labour, there are too many temporary foreign workers here driving down wages
The last manual labour job I worked was for a temp contracting agency: minimum wage, night shifts, zero benefits, lifting heavy shit, the manager was going around berating people they weren't hitting their targets, walking 25 km/day(when we were hired they said 10 km max). That job wasn't much better than outright slavery.

>>34860501
i work in retail and it feels like my body is dying, feet in constant pain, knees feel like they;re about to explode, numb fingers 24/7 and just overall feeling like shit and tired all the time and i dont even stack boxes that heavy. i cant imagine how people handle manual labor

>>34860324
>gas station
>comfy
what country could you possibly live in

>>34860501
this sounds like the dream job right here

>>34860501
I need this in my life.
I would be so happy.

>>34859859

I'm sure they liked to work with you.

Why do we have to spend the majority of our waking lives doing some asshole job nobody could reasonably be expected to care about? How is this "the best time ever to be alive"?

>>34864594
Uh actually you should be grateful for the opportunity to spend all your time working

>>34864594
because you're being cucked by the government
spend your days traveling around, working only if you need money

>2017
>Super speed internet everywhere
>Email, phone, Skype, cloud storage...you name it
>Remote work should be the norm
>Still have to get up at 6am
>Still have to commute
>Still have to sit at a desk all day in a shirt and tie
>Still have to work set hours and eat/shit/piss at designated times

Why the fuck are companies still persisting with the 9-5 office meme?

>>34859817

Saving up to pay for her funeral

File: Jew.gif (45KB, 411x480px)

45KB, 411x480px

Keep slaving, Anons. Shekelstein has only made 8 billion profit this quarter so far

>>34859980
Yes. I would do shit retail over sitting in a cubicle answering calls all day in a heartbeat. Call centers are pure hell.

>>34864775
>Why the fuck are companies still persisting with the 9-5 office meme?

They aren't. Many companies expect you to work when you get home after your 9-6 office time ends.

>>34864775
I guess you should count yourself lucky your job hasn't been outsourced to China yet anon

>>34859775
Call centre cucks here for a bank. I talk to people about their arrears.

I fucking hate my job with every passion. The micromanagement is crazy.

I'm sitting in the toilets shitposting. I'll probably get an email when I get back asking why I was in the toilets for so long

who /evening/ shift here?
>tfw working 2-10pm at a private university
>tfw waking up at 10am, having the morning coffee and reading the papers while looking out the window and seeing all the wagies rushing out of their homes to catch the commute
>tfw riding to work in a near empty train with plenty of seats and no morning crush

ever since I stopped waking up at 6am, my life has improved tremendously, I'm much more calmer and relaxed and I actually enjoy going to work

>>34865037
Right here. I've been getting up to do a morning run and I still have time to relax. It's fucking great.

>>34859775
>job
Wagies, when will you ever learn?

File: 1482978184597m.jpg (172KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

172KB, 1024x768px

>>34859775
> Work in IT
> Basically do shit all day, except from a few basic maintenance tasks
> Play vidya with the other IT guys when there's nothing to do
> Show up when I want to, between 7 and 11 AM, leave when I want to
> Get paid by the hour, have to do a minimal 20 hours a week
> Get paid 4,5k Eurobux a month for playing vidya 30 hours a week, and do actual work for 10 hours

My job is fucking golden. I recently got a raise because the boss had a problem on his computer, and instead of fixing it using the Windows interface, I did it through the command prompt. He was so impressed he became convinced I was vital for the company, and gave me a 1.30 eurobux/hour raise a few months ago.

>work retail
>been drinking for 7 months now
>do nightshifts
>on my last shift some drunk asshole threatened to kill me over 2 dollars
>all signs point to every department in the country getting downsized in november 2017 at the latest
>cant get off the rollercoaster

>>34865140
fuck you

bd fbfh

i do IT support for 13.50 an hour. half the day is just shitposting on various 4chan boards. occassion ill have to walk and help someone with their problem. very occassionally. Thank you college degree. I escaped the neet life for the meme life senpaitachi.

File: 2342351.jpg (9KB, 155x182px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 155x182px

>tfw started working at a service desk recently
>there's an asian qt who guides me, learns me stuff etc
>we understand each other pretty good, started doing some private stuff together
>already visited her home
>we're sports partners now

Fucking hell, I don't know what to do because colleague etc. Is this beta orbiting hell?

File: Pepe (9).jpg (16KB, 226x223px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 226x223px

>>34864196
lol you mard-arse lazy cunt

>>34864265
probs uk, seems comfy as shit in there senpai

>>34866014
Yep. Your window has closed. Also, sports partners? Have some fucking dignity, anon.

File: [HorribleSubs] Gabriel DropOut - 02 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.35_[2017.01.17_22.47.47].jpg (46KB, 458x458px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 458x458px

>>34864714
>only if you need money
So all the time then.

>>34864775
This is my biggest gripe. I'm a software developer but still have to do the 9-5 cubicle bullshit when i could do my entire job telecommuting.

It's not like there's any plus for physically being near co-workers. No one even talks to anyone. 90% of communication at the office is instant messaging even when people sit next to each other.

>>34859775
Should've not dropped out college

>>34865140
yeah. me too. except i'm the only IT guy so i do more work. but nobody understands what i do so i can slack as much as i want.

you're boss is a dipshit for giving you a raise because you use command line

>>34867237
i mean your

>>34859817
id kms as well fuck that

>>34865930
>bragging about making $13.50/hr with a college degree
I make almost twice that with no post-high school education at all.

my sister works at a loan collections place call center, and has to call ppl all day , every day, and tell them that their house is foreclosing or that their car is being re possessed because they defaulted on their loan. she gets called a cunt, bitch, twat, whore, and screamed at all day, she said. she cries and drinks herself to sleep every night. what a horrible job. thank god im a neet.

>>34867307
Keep in mind that he's probably not American.

>>34867317
I used to do that. Worst job I've ever had in my life. I'll die before ever going back to a call center.

>>34859775
I didn't know that you got paid for waking up

I would also want to kill myself if I woke up completely alone in my bed every single morning

Q: are you going to buy a dozen roses for Zelda today?

A: no... Because you don't know how to treat a woman...

How many years do you intend on replacing a real life with video games and complaining?

>>34867382
I normally like your posts, Johnny, but none of what you just said is making any sense to me.

>>34867376
You should seriously consider calling the center of my nutsack with your chin

You can even call collect

Because as always you're going to collect a lot of my jizz on your face

>>34867410
I always get in a cheery mood on Valentine's Day

Forgive me cuz I might be a little bit punch drunk from drinking my own urine and smoking my fingernail clippings in a meth pipe

>>34867410

I'm just being obnoxious today... It's nothing personal because I guarantee you that you and I would have a great time together if we went out for a beer or coffee or something

It's important to remember that I play an obnoxious character online and sometimes I just can't help myself

I assure you that it's nothing personal at all

>>34865037
I work 3-11 at a nursing home. I wipe ass for 11 an hour. Everywhere is closed when I get off work. I have to get up early and don't have any time to just chill after work. The lack of traffic on the roads is nice at least.
There isn't as much to do on evening shift but the sundowners all start acting up. Could be worse. I spend about 3 hours on my phone or watching tv on a regular shift.

I'm really looking forward to my next job. Just had an interview to give methadone to addicts for 21 hour, between 5AM and noon.

File: 1482025360397.jpg (39KB, 457x480px)

39KB, 457x480px

>>34867237
He was impressed by my "programming skills"
> "Wow, you're really doing it like they do in Matrix, huh? Don't hack my computer at home, I have "secret documents" on it!"
> He then has a chuckle
He may not be the smartest boss, but he's a cool guy.

I work as a night porter in a hotel 23-7

Minimum wage. Good thing is minimal social interaction and the job.is easy. After a while you get tired of the dark and loneliness and isolation though, the grass is always greener

File: Johnny Neptune PIECE OF SHIT Logo 2013.jpg (76KB, 707x707px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 707x707px

>>34867528

What's hilarious is how both of your jobs are the complete opposite of taking care of people or helping anyone

You ARE aware, aren't you, that you are a sadist and it is readily apparent to anybody who reads your words.

I can tell you without any uncertainty whatsoever : anybody who would get a job at a nursing home, and keep it for more than one week is either a sadist or a sexual predator....

And it's not ironic at all that your next job choice was helping to destroy people's lives at a methadone clinic... I have known several people that held that same job and they were all some of the most disgusting human beings I have ever met in my life

I'm not joking at all

This is not me 'being in character' and being mean to you...

This is the real me talking to the real you

I would pay you $50 an hour cash to punch you in the face so God damn hard that I would literally shatter the orbits of your eyes and make your entire facial structure collapse

I would literally love to watch you be gangraped, then doused in acetone and set ablaze...

I'm completely serious about the $50 an hour...

Let's make it $200 an hour... Because you wouldn't even last 5 minutes

You're not the type of man who can handle any suffering of your own, but you find some dissociated, bizzare pleasure in the suffering of others

Your mother and father were correct

They truly should have wrapped a piano wire around your neck directly after your birth

I would be so happy to slice your face to pieces with a rusty exacto blade

Then I would smear my own defecation into the wounds, and every time you begged me to please let you go to the hospital to get antibiotics, I would snip another part of your body off with a pair of garden shears

>>34867857

You havent been able to program your way into a kiss or a woman to hold your hand

You can't write code string for DALVIK or ART

You can't get a condom out of a metal box in a local gay ber no matter how many handles or levers you pull

And you can't program jack shit

You can't even explain how a modified BIOS Rootkit remembers itself after a system reformatting

*reaches through the screen and Yanks your pants down*

*females heard laughing on canned audio track*

>>34867857
RE-EMBEDS* itself

Bar*

Fuck you

>>34867926
I didn't realize 'night' lasted 23 hours

They have a Holiday Inn on the North Pole now ?

File: 1430764073888.jpg (18KB, 268x263px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 268x263px

>Security guard for my city's port
>five minute drive from my house
>boss doesnt care if I wear uniform or not
>sleep on the job if overnight
>leave get dummy locked, barge workers dont care
>spend 8 hours a day shitposting and catching up on backlog
>barge workers bring me food and shoot the shit about netflix
>get paid more because boss is my godbrother

File: enough.png (842KB, 860x449px) Image search: [Google]

842KB, 860x449px

>>34868393
fuckign nepotism normie

File: PicsArt_02-14-08.04.34.jpg (287KB, 1500x1095px) Image search: [Google]

287KB, 1500x1095px

my wife and I have never celebrated Valentine's Day... Neither of us have ever celebrated it in our individual lives before we met each other, and we will never celebrate it now that we are together

Doing things the way other people do things has obviously only led people into continual failures and unhappiness

It's essential that while on this planet, we each operate as ORIGINALS....

So....

Why are you all so determined to behave like lemmings, each repeating and mimicking and parroting the exact same trendy, effeminate and self-defeating catchphrases, afraid to stand out from the rest of the crowd, while simultaneously pointing your finger at society and claiming they are the 'normies', when inherently it is you who is behaving in that manner?

Wendy and I make an effort to celebrate each other and celebrate life with each passing day

Save the ridiculous imaginary concept known as 'Valentine's Day' for the idiots out there who believe other people's concepts and rules apply

Save it for the milieu of empty-minded trend-following idiots who prescribe to the concept that celebrations occur when other people dictate they should occur

By the way... Each of you needs to call your mother today and tell her that you love her

She sacrificed so much for you

She wanted you to grow up and be a healthy well-rounded man

So many of you have disappointed her

Call her right now and thank her and apologize for being so truant in your duties and wasting all of her effort

You don't actually hate women at all

You hate yourself because you are afraid of your own shadow, but you aren't a big enough man to admit it to yourself or anybody else

>>34868272
>>34868036
>>34868311
this guy really needs to chill

neptune just read a book or something, christ

>>34868393

The fat little boy who's never been in a real fistfight, the pudgy, bland coward who always fantasized about having power over other people... YOU

You don't have what it takes to be an actual law enforcement officer or to join the military, but now you get to pretend that you are a badass

I would smash your face into the side of a metal transport cargo container SO FAST, and prove exactly what you truly are

A SCAREDY guard

>>34868036
You must have had some pretty rough experiences with healthcare.
The cruelest at the nursing home are the gettho cna's actually. They like to confuse patients sometimes and then make fun of them since it's a dementia center. No real reason to do that other than sadism. They also default to just sorta yelling at residents to get them to do things. They're sorta stupid in general. You can just calmly and firmly explain things to these people and they'll do it. The job is a lot easier when residents actually like you.

Most of the residents will shit and piss themselves without realizing it, not know when it's time to eat, stay up 20 hours because they don't realize they have a place to sleep there, get confused and frightened immediately after waking, wander around until collapsing on the side of the road if they're out. Caregiving staff is fairly essential and being friendly to them helps them not panic. The residents come here when their alzheimers is too severe for a regular nursing home or family to handle them. Some of them are though where family could take care of them but they just get dumped off here. As far as the sex and sadism thing, after seeing enough naked people, wiping ass or cleaning a vagina feels more like working on a car than interacting with a person. Residents dying is pretty sad the first handful of times but you come to expect it after a point.

I'll see how the methadone clinic goes. It's part of a rehab program and the city of baltimore is real big on it being a good thing. Not my first choice but it'll be a nice change of pace to see how working with mainly homeless/low-income people are rather than geriatrics.

>>34868437
S
H
U
T

I
T

S H U T

I T

shut it

File: 1480118037714.png (15KB, 562x380px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 562x380px

>>34868476

>fat

wrong

> never been in a real fistfight

Everyone I've ever been in a fistfight with im BFF with

>fantasized about having power

nope

u sound mad senpai

Same here. I actually look like OP's pic most days. Office life is hellish.

>>34864775
>9-5

Kill yourself normie. 8:30 - 5:30 is the norm here. My co-workers spend most of the day gossiping, browsing facebook, or "reading" clickbait online.

>>34868487
RE: CNA's

So....

You know exactly what I was trying to say

And appears that you have some good in you after all

My best advice I could ever give you

I would rather be broke and destitute than to be unhappy

I would call the methadone clinic and tell them to fuck themselves

( by the way, although Hitler's scientists were dispatched to create dolophine, it was not named after Hitler at all )

I would suggest you find a job that pays less in money and pays much more in personal reward and self-esteem

You would be a much happier man making $17 an hour helping people then making $21 an hour continuing the agony and physical dependency of humans who are on a never-ending cycle of opioid bipolar coaster demise

I say you should look into helping animals because they deserve it a lot more than the two legged animals

This thread makes me feel bad about complaining about my data entry job. It's ok money but in a big city so rent eats it up.

We're all gonna make it brah.

>>34868525

SEEM* angry

You meant to say that I seem angry

But because you're not the world's best Communicator you typed out the phrase that I 'sound mad'

I'm happy

I am actually completely happy and totally content with my life because I live by very high standards and when I look in the mirror I see a man that I respect

FIFTEEN WORDS :

The spice extends life

The spice expands consciousness

The spice is vital to space travel

File: 3f74ffec-18c5-4193-a767-182c0cbd1b59.jpg (95KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 768x1024px

https://youtu.be/7I9PA4q-Ymg

I threw this together for my son just a little while ago

>>34868575
Yeah, nursing home cna's can be really shitty people. Having a high tolerance for witnessing suffering is one of those things that's vital to the personality of people in healthcare but the trouble is that it brings in a lot of people who don't have the patience or general friendliness required of dealing with patients. idk, I like the residents but the coworkers are the part of nursing home work that brings stress in my life. Lots of lying, backstabbing and politics as well.

I've known a lot of addicts. For 50% of them, methadone or similar things can help while for the other 50%, it makes it easier to relapse.

I'm waiting on an interview for a 19 an hour nursing home job. I've been looking for 2 months and john hopkins being right around the corner makes job searches super competitive for healthcare around here. With the methadone clinic, I could maybe work there 6 months- a year while going back to school. Then I could end up in a hospital job.

>born rich, drive BMW, haven't worked a day in my life

Going to creampie my gf tonight, only rich people can afford the time and risk of intercourse, makes her so wet

>>34868487
Do you ever feel like you should just kill all the demented old people? Not like in a "muh burden on society" way, just for their own wellbeing and dignity.

File: wendy neptune my best friend.jpg (1MB, 1600x900px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1600x900px

>>34868826
I know that this will sound like a cliched meme, but.....

My wife Wendy is absolutely one of the most amazingly strong and honorable humans I have ever met in my life.

She was a registered nurse in Ohio for 4 years... Simply had to get out of it, because as she would tell you... "anybody who could do that job for an extended period of time without killing themselves is either a very dangerous sick disturbed person, or doing it to reap the benefits of all of the wrong reasons"

My first girlfriend was a 36-year old registered nurse when I was 16... Her name was Joy and she was absolutely gorgeous. Joy would come home crying every night....

Wendy says by year four, the crying was no longer just after work, but before work and during work as well. The incompetence and Corruption and drug addiction and absolute sadistic nature of her coworkers made her realize she had to get out of the career as fast as possible.

She got a real estate license, and was doing that as a career when her grandmother was put into a nursing home, and the nursing home had a terrible reputation...

She dropped everything and got a job working on her grandmother's hallway at the nursing home... She said if nobody else was going to take care of her grandmother correctly, then by God SHE was going to... even the best nursing homes are left with their hands tied somewhat, with the time constraints and expectations and limited resources and... You already understand what I'm talking about.

What broke her heart was watching the expedited demise of the patient/residents...

The way she explains it even a 27 year old man would become disoriented and lose touch with time and touch with themselves in very short order, finally getting up and the brain has a way of finishing the job for you when it comes to losing the will to live

She has also been a certified public accountant, a botanist as well as a 'rockstar' bartender in Nashville Tennessee

soon I'm going to introduce you all to her

>>34869142
>nurse joy
wew

I'm waiting to start my new job next week, so I'm living the NEET life for this week. My old job was ok. Manual labor but I made decent money, and most of the time was by myself.

My next job is the same thing, but I make a lot more money now. I really hope it's better then my old one. I would hate to have to crawl back to that place after leaving.

just imagine a world where everyone unanimously said "fuck it" and walked out on their jobs

>>34869185
You have to understand that I am a little bit older than you, even though I'm a teenager

I'm 53teen....

Joy actually looked exactly like Madonna in the papa Don't Preach video in retrospect

She was hot as fuck

I was only 16 and she was twenty years older than me but she saw something in me one night as she walked past me in a nightclub

( I got hired as a doorman in a nightclub when I was only fifteen years old believe it or not... 100% true )

(Hedgen's on Roswell Road in Atlanta Georgia)

She walked past me and saw that I was wearing pajamas and a Russian military hat.... I was standing at the front door carding people doing my job, and without missing a Beat she grabbed me by the arm and said " you're coming with me and she took me by the arm and drug me over to her white Honda, and drove me to her condominium where I became her boy toy for 2 years...

100% true

Of course like any other registered nurse who had been doing their job too long Joy had all kinds of drugs that she had received the free from the hospital pharmacy

( these days that have made it much more strict but it still happens en masse )

She had liquid cocaine in bottles that is used for eye surgery... She had every kind of pill including Quaaludes because back then Quaaludes were still available

She promptly started getting me high and fucking the shit out of me.... the exact same way I have done to countless willing teenaged girls in my life, but nobody seems to complain about 'pedophilia' when it's a woman doing it to a young boy...

I learned a lot from her... Her father was a well-known plastic surgeon and their family was absolutely loaded

Joy was the only woman I ever cheated on in my entire life, having 'given in' to the Amorous moves of a seventeen-year-old girl who came by to visit me while Joy was at work...

I was so riddled with guilt I could no longer look at myself in the mirror

That's how I learned Integrity the hard way and I never did it again

>>34869412
i'm sure theyll make a movie out of your life any day now

>>34869412
Nurse Joy is also the name of a character in the Pokemon series. That's why he wew'd

>>34859980
as someone who has worked at a call center and mcdick's, I'd take mcdick's any day of the week if I had to go back to a shit job like that.

File: PicsArt_02-10-06.38.30.jpg (145KB, 987x1141px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 987x1141px

>>34869402

Don't take this the wrong way... I'm hoping that maybe you can learn from the statement I'm about to make:

The scenario you just paint it out is the exact equivalent to so many people here in r9k, but it is not their 'jobs' that they walked out on....

They apparently chose to walk out on their own future and any chances of succeeding because they decided they were so afraid of rejection that it wasn't worth trying

And trying again... And again... And again and again and again and again until they finally got to their first level of success like a video game... And then tried again and again and again and again until they had fulfilled their life's purpose

My wife Wendy is soon going to come in here and become well-known

If you think that you hate women she's going to change your mind

Because you are going to be amazed at her outlook on life and her honesty and her way of viewing things the way we all should view them and we all know it deep inside but we somehow manage to live in denial and distract ourselves from the truth and in doing so, so many of us have prevented our own happiness

She's going to give you her unique view from a woman's vantage point

When I get disgusted with people she's always the first person to remind me of the reasons they reached this point and to be empathic towards others

Regarding r9k she is equally Disturbed with the ongoing trend of failure, but unlike me she 'sees the light at the end of your tunnels' much clearer and communicated in a much more compassionate concise format

she has helped me immensely with my perspective on life, and I would be remiss if I didn't allow her the opportunity to do the same for you

If you think your childhood was bad... You haven't heard anything yet. I'm going to let her explain her childhood to you and then you owe it to yourself to hear the way it made her stronger and more compassionate instead of allowing it to defeat her

I can guarantee that you will not be disappointed

File: VID_20170212_153122_2289.jpg (117KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 1080x1920px

>>34869460

My wife was not all that special... I honestly believe that the ERA I grew up in allowed to me and afforded me opportunities that a lot of you guys unfortunately missed...

But there's nothing special about me at all... I simply paid attention along every step of the way, and it had a Snowball Effect... By learning and understanding it opened even more doors and more opportunities with each passing day and I refused to sit back and give up out of the fear of trying

I also had a few very very very smart mentors in my life

It is my duty to return the favor

I understand I understand that you were being facetious and sarcastic about a movie... Of course because it appears that I am an egotistical son of a gun...

However you're confusing self-confidence with egocentricity

One more thing...

You would never believe how many people... Real friends in my real life have actually told me the exact same thing year after year after year

Almost every single one of my friends who was there along for the ride has told me I should write a book about it because a lot of people could learn from this

So I know you don't expect this...
But Thankyou

>>34869470
That explains why I have never heard of it before because Pokemon has never been apart of my life at all, and when my children were young I would have never allowed them to be exposed to such a mind-numbingly idiotic concept

But thank you for informing me, sir

File: PicsArt_02-14-02.40.18.jpg (371KB, 1500x1125px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 1500x1125px

LIFE*

My LIFE* was not all that special particularly

Speech to text typos while I paint the interior of my house

My wife... She is amazingly special

>>34869669
you know johnny, you might actually have a few points and be a legit person, but seeing the absolute garbage you proudly display and brag about from your illustration portfolio leads me to no other conclusion than to believe that you're a major fuckwit

>>34869571
>>34869669
>>34869716
you have to go back, filthy reddit scum

>>34869716
>>34869669
>>34869571
nice blogpost, faggot
not original post

>>34869669
>sir
what are you, fedora tipper?

>>34859795
call centers are easy when they make you stick by the script verbatim

its fucking terrible when it's off the cuff like a help line or something where you never know what you're gonna get

>>34866014
>sports partners

yea man. time to give her the distance.

Johnny Neptune, our friendly registered sex offender has visited this thread.

Reminder: the sooner you filter tripfags, the better your life will be.

File: JN & Arron Paul 2-1.jpg (52KB, 375x471px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 375x471px

>>34869743
I've never shown anybody here my portfolio

Trust me, jackass... you have never seen any of my portfolio at all...

You have seen exactly what I have shown and nothing more and none of that was my portfolio

You have seen only the side of my 'personality' that I have carefully crafted and specifically chosen to show you, whether it be a character I played, or the legitimate person that stands in my shoes

I'm in full control of what I say and how I behave and you must be so stupid that you don't realize that you form your opinions based on my behavior, meaning:

I have actually created your opinions intentionally

......are you so stupid that you don't realize that ?.....

ONE LAST GEM :

Your opinion means absolutely nothing to anybody... In particular to me

The day that you have the budget of Warner Bros. Recording Division is the day that I will listen to your opinion

And since they said my artwork was quality enough to represent the band ZZ Top on an international graphic scale, it even further minimizes your jealous, bitter, little, angry, resentful 'opinions'.

(I averaged $3,500 a day even when I WASN'T drawing or painting for them, and as much as $45,000 on the days that I did)

I'm afraid that in the entertainment industry your opinion is almost as relevant and powerful as your bank account, or should I say lack thereof...

I'm not being 'mean' or 'unfair' when I say that I have never given a flying fuck about anybody's opinions regarding me, my behavior or my creative productions, and out of the seven billion+ human beings on this planet, YOUR opinion is the one that reminds me most of 'used toilet paper'....

Any questions, sassypants?

By the way, that's Aaron Paul and I...
You might know him as Jesse from the show Breaking Bad

I'm doing an Elvis Presley portrait for him....

( are you starting to realize why your opinion means nothing to anybody? )

>>34868476
Wow. Sounds like someone used to be a mischivous teenager.

Fellow security guard, btw. My job is almost like the other anon's, but it's a 7 minute drive, I have to wear my uniform (they're not too strict about it, though), they're cool with me arriving late since everyone, including my boss comes in late all the time, and I work at a supermarket distribution warehouse, not a port.

It's fun as shit, man.

File: anime.png (16KB, 528x519px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 528x519px

>work in a factory shop selling ceramic goods, plates, pots, vases, etc
>I am fat as fuck
>can barely do the job because I am essentially like a bull in a china store
>I am so fat that I can barely fit down aisles sideways, despite it being a huge factory shop in a large warehouse
>co-workers are starting to hate me because I am so slow
>I haven't been caught breaking anything yet, but they realise the peril I am placing the stock in everytime I move
>End of every day I am panting heavily due to walking around
>co-workers keep getting angrier
>they have started calling me 'Plate Trembler' because the ceramics shake when I walk
>one of them reported me for accidentally cracking a ceramic teapot by knocking it down after I took a rest break and tried to grab a protein bar out of it (I keep protein bars in some of the kettles around the store for energy)
>it is true but nobody could prove it so got away with it
>have noticed some of my co-workers moving stock with pokey bits to the front, so for example teapots with pouring extensions that come out of the shelves, and cups with their handles poking into the aisle so I am more likely to knock them down
>even on my lunch break can't break free from the fear of smashing things because the vending machine has a weak plastic dispense button and I use it 4 times a day
>tfw will probably get fired because I am so inefficient and slow

Last week I tried to buy a large ceramic set of cereal bowls and was ashamed so I wore a large coat with a hood, and accidentally knocked over 4 plates that smashed. I ran off with the bowls and accidentally stole them so if the CCTV footage reveals my crime I'll be fired anyway. (my co-workers already make jokes that it must have been me and that 'I must have realised I didn't eat the entire box of cereal and ran home to snack)

i know what you mean. i had a job where we couldn't talk. we had to prep documents to be scanned then go over the documents say if it was good or not. when i worked there there were 4 bosses, two managers, and then two other managers. one was a bitch they had to send in another boss from a different department to help because people complained about her.

>>34870469
>lol i don't care about your opinions here's my 15 page dissertation on how I don't care and how I'm trolling you
even if you were steven fucking spielberg this would be embarrassing behavior

File: PALS by Johnny Neptune.jpg (306KB, 680x519px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 680x519px

>>34870814

PERHAPS YOU FAILED TO COMPREHEND MY WORDS

(refer to >>34870469 again)

When you're finished, get on your knees, open your mouth, close your eyes, and I've got quite a surprise for you, PAL

>>34871042
>show terrible airbrushed jpg artifacted pictures of retarded ugly bimbos
>get upset when people call your stuff garbage
See, that picture actually displays some form of skill and taste

File: PicsArt_02-14-03.55.42.jpg (292KB, 1500x1125px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 1500x1125px

>>34870814
Spielberg ?....

.....Uhhhhhhhh.....

REALLY ?.....

You wanted to use an example of 'the best', or closest to it, to ridicule me and my lack of similar talent....

And you CHOSE SPIELBERG ?!!!!!

HAJAHAHAHAHA !

Wow....

Amazing !....

He's one of the least talented scumbags on earth

(Saving Private Ryan was the only masterpiece he's ever made)

WAKE UP, FAGGOT....

(you should've used Scorsese)

So much for your understanding of quality art

>>34869103
Honestly, no. Most of these folks do deserve a better quality of life. Nursing homes tend to deceive family members about how the resident is actually treated, etc.
As far as euthanasia, I do think that while advance directives, DNR's, living wills, etc. are a good thing to have, euthanasia should be legalized in more of the country. It's a bit controversial but to me; the goal of healthcare is the reduction of suffering and an individual has the ultimate right to make decisions regarding their life or treatment.
Of course, "dementia euthanasia" is a living will situation and abuse is a concern. Family members trying to get their family declared incompetent so they can steal social security or have them die quicker to get inheritance. Things like that.
>>34869142
I really hate this meme I've seen in nursing homes of "They're like little kids." Doing everything for the residents makes them go down faster. If you help them eat, they'll lose the ability to feed themselves much faster, that sorta thing.
In school I had a couple classmates who would babytalk the elderly, even when they had no neurologic problems. It's a sort of basic infantilizing and disrespect. It's weird how it's these on the surface "very christian, sheltered and caring" young nurses who do that stuff the most.

Joy seems like she was someone who really gave a shit. Only about a third of nurses and a under a quarter of cna's had anything resembling a personality suited to healthcare.

>>34871270
I chose spielberg because he's one of the top jews and you've been bragging about your income and your showbiz connections so much

let me reiterate, even if you were christ himself your behavior would be embarrassing

>work at factory via temp agency
>3 weeks in I get sick
>dont call and let them know
>get fired
>dont answer any calls from the temp agency even though I need to return my badge
>Remember they said I would be banned if I got fired for shit like this
>be unemployed for nearly a year
>few minutes ago
>temp agency calls me up
>offers me work
IS IT A TRAP????

I work security for one of facebook's offices, the job is chill, plenty of perks for being a contingent worker, but I can't stand the average employee, most are uppity pricks who don't think their shit stinks. All in all, this is the best job i've been able to grab for the time being.

Also, the amount of people I deal with day to day and the sheer amount of disgust they exude when looking at me on top of muh social anxieties, make me want to an hero

>>34871390
Now he's just going to make some joke about christ and how he's an atheist.

You're playing his game. Don't feed the troll.

>>34871576
he's not trolling very efficiently if he has to write twenty times the amount of text I do every time he replies

File: PicsArt_09-29-05.00.37.jpg (279KB, 1229x918px)

279KB, 1229x918px

>>34871390
LOL

OH
MAH
GAWD

YOU BELIEVE THAT JESUS EXISTED ?

At least Martin Scorsese was a real human being and not some Jolly Green Giant Myth fairy tale

If you want to get under my skin, please try it one more time and use Scorsese

Please ?....

I promise I'll react the way you wanted me to

( and that take was okay... But I want you to try it again with feeling this time)

>>34871609
Lol hahahahaha

*Smiles*

>>34869716
Do you actually post using speech-to-text?

Reading posts from 4chan aloud is an exercise in absurdity. Being in the room with you while you shitpost must be hilarious.

>>34871564
Are you ugly or something?

I seriously don't understand people like that. How do they become that way? It's a disturbing phenomenon.

>>34871609
As if YOU are qualified to gauge 'quality trolling'....

As you gripe and bellyache over me


Hahahahaha

K A B O O M !

>>34871718
Why do you do this every day? God loves you.

File: METH ADDICTS BEFORE AND AFTER.jpg (545KB, 1030x774px)

545KB, 1030x774px

>>34871689
Yep @ speech to text

AND yep

My wife laughs all the time

I realize you were trying to insult me

Because I MADE you think you don't like me

But in real life

I'm funny as shit

As least that's what ppl tell me

And my wife said that's why she married me

I keep her laughing and smiling

( congratulations @ falling for the character I have invented, who is designed to make people like you get mad )

File: after fucking my cats butthole.jpg (85KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 1080x1920px

>>34871774
God lusts after my sweet, sweet man meat

Love ?...

He tells all the other guys that, but with me he just came out and said, "HEY IM GOD, AND ID LIKE TO SEE YOUR PENIS AGAIN"

( turns out he was too busy taking it up the ass to look at my junk again since the night he created it )

>>34871805
sure johnny

File: PicsArt_12-19-10.49.21.jpg (334KB, 1276x2430px) Image search: [Google]

334KB, 1276x2430px

>>34871899

Lol

Whatever

I think later on tonight I'm going to invite my wife to become a permanent member here

File: goldfinger - superman.png (682KB, 1131x1200px) Image search: [Google]

682KB, 1131x1200px

>>34871805
I called a shitposter so I can see how you're insulted.

That's how it is though, these posts aren't serious they're throwaways. A message in a bottle in an ocean of piss. Some of them like yours are interesting and well written. Finely Crafted Message in A Bottle; it reads "To whomever finds this bottle: Fuck Off." Uncommon rarity.

Most are written by 16 year old kids that have trouble in English class.

I genuinely enjoy Johnny Neptune posts, they're still shitposts and not exactly 'high culture'(if there is such a thing) but atleast they reek of life experience. Fuck the haters, he's probably right about the content of your bank accounts

>>34872022

Thankyou

THANKYOU

Danke

It's so nice to see somebody who actually 'gets it'

It's actually a very delicate art

And although I am well aware of the terms 'shitposting' and 'trolling', that's NOT what I am or what I do

April 21st 2017 marks the 25th anniversary to the day of the first time I logged onto the darknet and went into mIRC and BBS rooms and started what is now referred to as trolling or shitposting

Although back then the admins used to call me 'the disruptive guest'

But Thankyou
My only regret is that in 2011 I tried to remove my index finger from my right hand, the finger that holds the paint brushes and pencils and click the mouse on the computer when I draw or do 3D animation or digital graphics, and although I was not successful in removing the finger I damaged it beyond recognition

I don't regret doing that at all... That was actually kind of fun and cool

What I regret however is the lack of perfection in speech to text technology

But I love your analogy of the bottle and the note and thank you very much

>>34871805
Nice reddit spacing faggot

ATTENTION :

I have never claimed to be rich because I'm the farthest thing from Rich... At least if money is the subject

People confuse me telling stories about my life and 'how much money I was able to make with my artwork and as a strip club DJ' with me claiming that I am 'rich'

I have always enjoyed spending money... Who doesn't?

However for me spending money was probably my biggest downfall because if I made $5,000 I would spend $6,000 that day

I'm an artist not a financial expert

And at least I'm honest

And when I spent the past 24 plus years trolling chat rooms it was completely different than what I'm doing in here

In here I use abrasive tactics to make sure nobody ever forgets or overlooks my content

You could say it's an old habit that I simply don't seem to be able to break

But if you read my words they are heartfelt and I really really hope that at least one or two of you pay attention because if you can apply the rules I learned in my life to your own situation I promise I could help you cut a couple corners and expedite your past to satisfaction and inner contentment

I used to be just like you guys

And I'm certainly not saying that all of you are exactly alike

But everyone reading my words knows who I'm talking about

I'm talking about the betas and the robots and the men who would act like children, fearful and shut in, in an effort not to risk rejection

We all have different circumstances but I have found in the 53teen years I have spent on this planet so far that some rules of thumb will never change

And perhaps it's time to realize it's detrimental to further delay trying something new

File: 281550_118438458312214_2108546140_n.jpg (55KB, 500x316px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 500x316px

>>34872165

The funniest part about your comment?

I have honestly never been to reddit, not even one time in my entire life...

Never

I typed the way that I type and I talk the way that I talk and I draw the way that I draw and I fuck the way that I fuck because I have never wasted a day of my life doing things 'the way other people do them'

However obviously you HAVE been to reddit...

What does that really say about you?

I'm not sure what it even means but I can tell you one thing:

According to you, the people at reddit are pretty damn cool

>>34864807
Please Bannon save us all my dude. I know they are taking advantage of us but I lack the ability to say no. I am so close to quitting my.job, literally have to drink the whole day just to get through it.

File: PicsArt_1396099028451.jpg (740KB, 831x1142px)

740KB, 831x1142px

ELVIS PRESLEY

The original BETA TURNED Jesus 2.0

Research his life

Learn

Laugh

And fall in love

You'll see

It's AMAZING

Pic: JN for ZZ TOP

File: 1485449687330.png (8KB, 208x243px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 208x243px

>yfw fast food places call grillslaves "team members"

My wife just read >>34872022 and >>34872120 and in pure Wendy form, said "AWWW YOU FINALLY MADE TWO FRIENDS!!!"

LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay I'm going back upstairs to paint now

Bye

( everybody call your mothers and tell them how much you love them )

i get paid 9 dollas an hour to unload trucks by hand.

you know how shitty you feel when management what the truck done in 2 hours.

>>34866601
I got pulled in from being a remote worker. Do I really ne d to be in the office not talking to everyone else. Fugg I was planning on traveling earth and working, fuck our new CTO.

>>34871707
Sorry, wasnt able to check back sooner, i'm at work now. I dont think it has anything to do with looks, but mearly a sense of superiority in income, livelyhood, and general mental health. I can also admit to the idea I'm possibly projecting my insecurities on what are honestly introverted people.

>>34868435
>Each of you needs to call your mother today and tell her that you love her
My mom beat me up and kicked me out.
I havbnt seen her in several months.

Is it safe?

>>34864592
I have standing invitations to go back and work anywhere that I've ever worked, so yeah. It sounds like they did, actually.

>>34869066
No way! Is that a thing?

>>34872798
God damn everywhere I've ever worked has told me to get out and never come back even as a customer.

What the fuck I thought it was like that for everyone.

>>34872267
>>>/reddit/

why are you still here

>>34859775
Think call centres are bad> Try LISTENING to normies talk all the time, and doing nothing. You wish to talk. Marking stupid fucking forms all the time. NEVER do mystery shopping on the business end.

>>34866601
>It's not like there's any plus for physically being near co-workers
>No one even talks to anyone.

Dude what
fellow software dev here, Skype meetings are a pain in the ass and you can't really discuss anything properly
walking up to someone and chatting them up is still a lot easier and more comfortable

this is even funnier when my country has a reputation of being too cold/reserved by you "social butterfly" foreigners, yet we almost unanimously prefer sitting near each other all the time

>>34859775
Logistics?

>>34867307
doing what?

kind in mind, he is doing pretty much nothing for 13.50 hr, which is pretty good.

at least you have a job, I guess. I can't seem to get replies on any of my fucking applications. I was on the verge of getting hired for security at the local airport and then Trump pulled this retarded hiring freeze for government employment.

HAHA guess what guys

I have no tripcode so LITERALLY ANYone can post this shit

It's real easy! All you have to do is talk like a smug asshole and have incorrect spacing!

These are probably all different people!

Shut

the

fuck

up

you

are

not

me
!!!!!