>tfw millions of men will get woken up with morning blowjobs

>>34857226
>tfw I will never fucking ever in my life have a blanket made out of jeans

ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR BROS, CHAD AND STACY ALWAYS WIN

>>34857226
desu I've never gotten what the hype is about.

I don't want morning mouth on my dick.

morning sex is better. The day hasn't even started and you've fulfilled the one true goal in life.

>>34857251
>he doesn't live in a jean house

what the fuck automatically changes to desu?

t b h?

desu

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>>34857251
Top kek

Oregnaolio

>>34857226
>a girl will never snuggle your penis

man, life sucks.

>>34857251
Chad here, not gonna lie, they're strangely comfy

>>34857226

Why is she rubbing it on her cheek like that?

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>>34857226
>thinking this actually happens
a small part of the vast reason you will never get laid

>>34857418
haven't you ever felt your penis? Penis skin is silky smooth and warm when it's erect. It's like snuggling a big cuddly hairless mole rat.

>>34857489
You havent had or given breakfast oral?

>>34857226

Whatever. I'm way too boring to girls.

It ain't happening, as in ever.

>>34857504
sounds fucking disgusting desu

i think you underestimate how many girls don't enjoy giving BJs anon. even then after they blow you they're laughing with their girl friends at how small and stinky your cock is

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>>34857504
I've not being woken up to oral, no. Both men and womens bits arent exactly 'fresh' in the morning. For the giving partners pleasure it's usually a good idea to shower and brush your teeth first.

i dont think id like getting woken up with a bj, every time i wake up i have to take a massive piss, it doesn't feel good jerking off if i have to take a piss so i doubt a bj would be any better

>>34857226
Consider yourself lucky.

Millions of men will wake up to shrews who do nothing but suck the life out of them but never from their penis.

>>34857549
>>34857587


>fresh
What the fuck is this? Produce?

What do you think happens in the 8 hours youre asleep that warrants an immediate shower pre-oral? Do you shit yourself then roll in it on a daily basis?

>>34857606

Why not just piss in her mouth while she gives you a bj? Piss is clean, it being exposed to air is what makes it filled with bacteria.

>>34857651
pissing with a boner doesnt feel good man

>>34857662

It feels the same, just that it makes a mess.

>>34857662
Really? Pissing right after a fap with a boner feels fan-fucking-tastic

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>>34857587
i've had a girlfriend say she would wake me up that way. never did. 0/10 she said that to bait me and i fell for it. read the fine print, fellas

>>34857699
not for me, i hate it

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>>34857226
>tfw my penis is 2x smaller than that

>>34857699
can attest to this. feels so fuckin' good. almost like a stream of second cum

>tfw this is my fetish
>tfw no bf to wake up with a blowjob
>tfw no bf to wake up by riding his cock

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>>34857623
Don't shoot the messenger kid. If you had ever actually spent the night with a girl you would know what I'm talking about. My best guess would be sweat and piss making it smell bad. Oh and and jizz from the night before (not that you would ever get laid though, you fucking virgin)

>>34857749
>implying you're actually a girl.

post vocaroo saying your post

>>34857749
TIIIIIIIIIIIITZ OR BYEEEEEEE

that';s sexist

why doesn't the man wake her up with a blowclit?

>>34857841

Why not do both at the same time? Do a 69 in the morning.

>>34857749
I just like messing with his sleeping body.
its pretty hot.
and bf thinks i do it to be nice.
>i just want to drug and take advantage of a man.

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>>34857226
Waking up to a blowjob is awesome, especially when she takes advantage of your morning wood.

>>34857880

well then neither one of them gets "woken up" with a surprise, they both wake up and neither are surprised.

>>34857897

Why not go to sleep with your mouths on each others privates and be surprised when you wake up that you still have each others genitals in your mouths?

>gf asks me to wake her up with oral
>next morning spend 15 minutes slowly getting into position without waking her
>start going to town
>she just rolls over and falls back asleep

>says she will wake me up with surprise oral too
>two years later and she never has
Sex is overrated.

>>34857749
>>34857881
fuck off roleplayers

>>34857914

i mean if you can fall asleep like that i suppose that could work.

>same partner for 5 years never happened

This is bullshit that only happens in porn

>>34857977

wake her up with the blowclit brah, tell her 4chan told you to.

>tfw you see couples tomorrow knowing they will be having sex later while you jerk off to furry porn again

>>34858051
>tfw haven't seen a couple in real life in 11 months because I never leave the house

Feels bad brehs

>>34857498
plus it smells really sexy

>>34857881
>>34857881
i know this is a sad male roleplaying but being drugged and taken advantage of by a girl is a fantasy of mine

>>34857226
>women
>actually doing anything on Valentine's Day
>not just waiting for their boyfriends and beta orbiters to shower them with gifts

>>34857226
i dont want to go to class tomorrow

>>34857251
>he doesnt eat sleep and breathe jeans

Chad here.

Only the really big sloots will blow you every day when you wake up. Most girls I hook up with will suck/fuck all night, and then do nothing the next morning complaining that their pussy hurts.

Most girls only blow you when they know they can get something out of it. Even girls I dated for months would refuse blowjobs in the morning unless I fucked them while they were waking up and already got super turned on.

>>34858988
>tfw when a few girls have tried it, and you just slept through it and they got bored and let you sleep.

I thought it was funny the first time, but then it just made me mad the 2nd and 3rd time because every single time after that all three never tried it again

>>34858988
>every day when you wake up
Tomorrow isn't "every day"
It's valentine's day
That was the implication of the OP--many more women will wake their men up with a blowjob tomorrow because usually they don't
Read a calendar

>>34857708

my gf said this same exact thing and it hasn't happened... "you're lucky to have a gf that loves sucking dick" my ass

>>34857251
>>34857313
>anon isn't french because he isn't or hasn't been with Jean

>>34857226
Well, I sweat when I sleep; I'd be pretty happy to have a girl worship my sweaty cock and balls as I wake up.

>>34857226
I don't actually care, not everyone craves sex as much as you cavemen do.

>>34857226
But I do. Normie here.

>>34857762
You are talking shit. Most people deal with it and eat pussy or get their dick sucked regardless. Stop pissing yourself at night.

>>34857226
>he has an outie