/britfeel/

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anime honestly lads

need to order something between 6p and 3.98 quid on amazon for my order to be more cost efficent due to free delivery on orders over 20 quid

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>>34854768
I'm on deaths door lads, thought i was feeling better but i fell asleep on the sofa for a few hours and now its way worse. Can't even talk

>>34854811
There's like 3 websites that'll find something for that

>>34854787
TOSHlNO KYOKO!!!

I've lost control of my life
Origigano

>>34855920
whats going on lad?

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>>34854824
Try to get out and about and infect some people. You could be patient zero desu

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morning again. soon fucking comes around eh. can't wait to get back this aft n have a nice romantic wank.
i'd say today is the perfect day to post what you love eh.

>>34854824
doesn't sound good lad.
well being on deaths door does actually sound good, but being ill doesn't

they charged me a whole pound for a bloody freddo

forget prison gay, who /prison asexual/ here

>>34857076
>forget prison gay, who /prison asexual/ here
me

>>34857037
yor avin a bubble m8

get your plates down the apples and pears, holler down the dog and bone and get the sweeney on it

>>34857113
plates?
everything else made sense but what do you mean by plates

>>34857436
plates of meat

>>34857540
thanks guvna.

Shitting like niagara falls lads. Can't tell if it was the scampi and chips I had down the pub, the pint I drank half of before I realised it was off, or the tesco bread and butter pudding for four I ate on my own.

really need to get better prepared for work.
another sniff the clothes for the least offensive smelling items edition.
had a shave though so got that going for me.
plus nice and foggy again breddy comfy
let's see if the phone lasts longer today.

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>>34856798
was on a plane today so think I've already done a good job at that.

>>34857669
>another sniff the clothes for the least offensive smelling items edition.
The smart wagie gives them a febreeze the night before and hangs em up

>talk to girl for over 2 years
>she always complains how she's "forever alone"
>mfw she tells me she gets a lot of attention from guys but doesn't want it
>she wants my attention though
>eventually things start escalating in a way
>then
>THEN
>enter: the fuckboy
>not chad thundercock
>not chad
>just a cookie cutter fuckboy
>she immediately stops responding with the speed she used to respond with
>when she even is there to respond, all she talks about is him
>i get pissy
>she calls me trash
>i tell her to fuck off and never contact me again

and that's the moment I learned that everything with a vagina is a roastie if given a chance with a fucker who meets their standards

Le crosspost reddit meme of sadness because I posted in the wrong thread

>>34856985
Even worse I'm off work and it starts, why couldnt it be when I haven't booked time off.

also just had to make sure I didn't give myself a lethal dose of Lemsip Max Strength

>>34857735
i'm not smart though lad. that's why i'm a wagie.
if i was smart i'd of stayed living the NEET life.
plus no washing machine doesn't help.
gotta rely on mummy coming and getting it

>>34857801
Mummy always washes clothes better anyway, not necessarily a bad thing

>>34857815
washes dries folds em nice and neat.
it's a very good thing lad

>go to uni
>get good grades
>asked to be a tutor
>get paid 65 an hour

I thought getting a job was meant to be hard?

Any britanons up? I am high off opiates and would like a chat

>>34858234
yep lad

Can't believe some agency doctors are on 360 quid an hour

>>34858314
Give me your skype bro

I would love a chat

fucking early morning confusion.
got a mate staying at mine. only 1 set of keys i was supposed to post through the letter box this morn. i forgot.
just leaving work to go drop them off.
think will treat myself to a leisurely stroll back to work from mine with a splif. while getting paid.
teehee.
end packing easter eggs all day long stuffing my face. life of a stoner wagie eh lads. gotta love it

all these married fags all excited because today is 1 of the 2 days a year they get a shag.
i was pissing myself listening to them bang on this morning.all bitter old cunts.thought you had pussy on tap when married
teehee

>>34858498
back to work and high as fuck. again.
munchies time i think lads.
easter eggs . the breakfast of champions.

>>34858653
that's two more days of shagging a year than you're getting lmao

>>34858803
ah yeah no doubt about that.i won't deny that, but had muh dick sucked this year though so got that going for me.

about a year ago a girl turned me down because she said she was a lesbian and I added on facebook I never saw her again. since I'm not a normie I never go on it but I did go on it for the first time in months and I saw shitloads of valutines day posts from her about her BOYFRIEND. fml

>>34858803
just talked to a qt roastie outside work as well
1 min convo. no spaghetti
am a love good now right?
what a day to find out as well. those single bitches are gonna be dropping their knickers today

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Going to work in a bit

Need advice on which trainers to buy

Either pic related in burgundy (they're firetraps)

Or plain Airwalks in burgundy?

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>Started a month ago doing an hour every evening on a mini exercise bike burning 400 calories every session
>When started it weighed around 16stone
>Checked this morning and am now just over 15stone

Feeling damn good about myself lads. I may still be that same autistic fuck up that I always was but at least I'm a slightly fitter autistic fuck up.

Hope your day goes ok lads.

I am to engulf myself wholly.

>>34859235

Good work, fella, keep it up!

>Payday yay!
>I'll have 10 quid left after I pay off everyone I have to

reee, fucking government is insane how am I supposed to live on 55 quid a week?

>tfw you get a whiff of a horrible pungent smell for just a second when no one else is around and you're like "fuck is that what I smell like?"

Don't worry about today lads. Valentine's day was invented by the distributors of Love Actually to dispose of unsold DVDs.

>>34859343
Too real lad. Happens too often.

>>34859343

>tfw the guy who sits next to you in lectures doesn't shower after a 8 hour shift bar tending
>and you like it

/C12DA88

I fucking love these types of videos. does anyone know any more? I need more wanking material.

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>>34859235
nice.
a stone in a month is good going lad..and good it's got you all cheery
good on ya lad

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>>34856949
I like Valentines day, because it means I can buy ungodly amounts of chocolate without getting weird stares.

On an unrelated note, my dog's eaten a pretty large amount of chocolate. He seems fine, but I'm keeping an eye on him.

Also, posted

>>34859881
yeah keep an eye on doggo choc not good for them
i've had a load. on easter egg number 2 of the morn

>>34859927
His digestion has been fucked up of late too. Shitting everywhere and ripping through bins. It's been really annoying. If he ends up giving himself chocolate poisoning and shitting everywhere again, I'm going to be pissed.

>>34859230
Don't buy those shoes mate, they're pretty terrible.

>>34859235
Good lad, I've gone from 16 stone 4, to 14st now and added some muscle mass (even if I'm still in DYEL tier for /fit/ types), feels good.

>>34857076
what did he mean by this

organic comment

>>34860035
sex isn't an option so you no longer find anything sexually attractive at all
you still masturbate as a biological function but don't use porn and don't think/fantasize about anything sexual while doing it

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Happy valentines day, /britfeel/! Here's your card!

Hope you're all feeling well and whatever you get up to today you enjoy!

I also hope work isn't too bad for fellow wagies!

Subway are giving out free subs so that's my plan for valentines!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/news/subway-giving-away-free-sandwiches-week-get/

>>34860102
Why are you posting Len-kun?

>>34860102

>yellow fingernails

Ew.

>>34860115
I don't set off for work for another 20 minutes, although I wish I could stay.

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I got a pretty good picture while walking to the train station today

Woke up at 8.30 to the sound of my mum pissing and shitting in the toilet. She screams:
>Annonnn. You awake? Wanna go get breakfast in wetherspoons??
Now I'm awake. But I'm not hungry.
Gonna get a cup of tea and play final fantasy 9.
Feel pretty comfy today. Not too cold or depressed.

Back to the regular amount of wanting to blowing my brains out today was a nice break while it lasted.

>>34859230
Get some nikeys or adidas don't get autism shoes

>>34860546
>falling for the brand loyalty meme

>>34860102
happy valentines lad. you got many cards.
been good so far stoned twice before work. talked to a QT without spilling spaghetti. just had some roastie walk into me as well so got to feel some bewbies up against me. that's 100% success with the lasses, might use this siluccess n go for some poo chee next.
got called out on some scars on muh arm because i'm working hard n warm as fuck so didn't think n had the sleeves up. but think i deflected it.with the old oh errr accident? routine probably didn't but fuck it.
no stopping me today. am on a high still and am feeling freakishly over confident.
hope you have an enjoyable day lad. enjoy your free sarnie

>>34860595

It's better than falling for the boring fucking trainers meme.

happy valentines day you fags. I'm sure you all have something planned?

>>34860595
not him, but i've worn airmax since i was 15. 22 years of the most comfy trainers ever lad.couldn't give a shit about nike in general but i fucking love muh airmax classics

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>>34860719
yup. wank with baby oil when i get home. i know how to treat myself

>>34860723
I'm on my 5th pair of airmax 95's now. Pairs 1-4 were incredible, but this pair I couldn't get the colour I wanted in an 8, so ordered the 7.5 which was the closest they had in stock. It's like having a vice full of broken glass clamped to each foot.

>>34860723
Fair enough. Guess its just not my jam

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>>34856949
Thinking a little too seriously about what to have for my romantic Valentine's dinner with the waifu desu

>tfw any new fanart will inevitably be cucking me with boobslut

>>34860719
Might get 120 cooking in runescape

>tfw wearing nothing but a pair of socks
I'm a mad man I tell you! A mad man!

>>34860779
adidas originals is all I've ever worn. they're comfy, look nice and simple.

free subway sandiwches today
hope it isn't busy

>>34856949
I want to fuck the snek NOW

>tfw addicted to shitty energy drinks

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>tfw I have to go to a lecture on poetry

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Whats the plan for today my lads? Doing anything special with your bird like going to spoons or harvester?

I genuinely forgot what day it was today and was planning to see the Lego Batman film by myself tonight but now I've been reminded it's valentine's I'm going to stay at home and play F.E.A.R. in offline mode

This lift made a dodgy sound. If I'm lucky it will snap.

>>34861087
I'm going to play games with my online friend and we'll lament about our lack of girlfriends

>>34861096
Ah shit it didnt.

>>34861112
jump at the last second

>>34860959
WHAT
really? why? there has to be some sort of catch.

>>34861132
I think you have to buy a drink or some shit

>>34861087
Going to pick up a bottle of booze from the supermarket and drink/cry at my desk like every other valentines

>>34861132
virgin mass shooting prevention day

>>34861081
What kind of poetry? Nothing wrong with a bit of poetry lad.

Is valentines day the most meme holiday? No one likes it and its just a corporate shit really.

>>34861187
Most mainstream Western holidays are corporate shit now though, not like Valentine's day is the exception. Just look at Easter and Christmas.

>>34861227
I know but at least theres usually a little bit of the original sentiment left with those. Valentines day ha basically designed for it

>>34861022
noooo
she's my waifu
i wanna fuck her

>>34860838
i've got the maid cooking cottage pie. gonna have to have the meal with her on my phone. not revealed my true love to him yet.

>girl at work asks me if I want to be her valutine. mumble and walk away.

why are women so cruel?

>>34861382
hope you're into cuckoldry then lad

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Where are all the Valentine's waifus?

>>34861521
Fucking kill yourself you shithead.

>>34861521
there's some in here lad.
ignore 34861654.
don't kill yourself

>>34857755
You're just pissed off because she found someone better than you.

You aren't pure, you wanted to fuck her too. And then you got angry when you couldn't.

You are trash.

>>34860340
What kind of fucking house do you live in where you can hear people pissing and shitting?

>>34861713
2 bed council house.
Toilet door is directly opposite my bedroom door. Toilet is small box toilet. Doors in house aren't snug fit.

>>34861753
Grim lad.

I've heard a lot about poverty etc. but I never thought about that aspect of it.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BRITFEEL! Have a lovely day with you s/o or fwb

>>34861794
Thanks mate. My girlfriend said she's going to take care of everything this year. I'm not sure what she has planned, but she told me to pack a weekend bag and I overheard her booking a cab to the airport tonight.

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>>34861753
>toilet is right next to your bedroom
I feel your pain, hearing people use it unintentionally is fucking awkward. The only upside is that the bathroom is right there, so if I need a piss its like 5 steps from my desk.

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watching big fat quiz. only just realised how weird noel fielding's nose is

>>34861753
To be honest this particular property it is really bad. But generally you usually can hear people pissing and and shits hitting water. If you're in the hallway and such.

>>34861857

>My girlfriend said she's going to take care of everything this year.

Murder/suicide confirmed, RIP Anon.

>>34861696
Kek

Fuck off, femanon who can't find anyone desperate enough to fuck you

>>34861896
There is nothing more romantic than murder/ suicide. Our dear robot has truly made it.

>>34861895
Was meant for
>>34861762
Can't deny them (You)s

>>34861904
I'm a man who is fucking someone.

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>>34861908

I wonder if Shipman killed anyone on valentines day

>>34861927
Sure (you) are

Fucking tumblrina tier meatflap

I'm just going to spend the day with my imaginary girlfriend and her (imaginary) sister who is jealous

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>>34861981
>tfw shippie will never give you a lethal dose of morphine

Why even live

>>34861096
Lifts have springs at the bottom anon

American orphan neet here.

I live in a shitty small conservative Mormon town in Utah . I just wanted to say that im jealous of you guys.

You guys are lucky to be in the uk and have so much more culture and history than were I live.
Its basically Europe's doormat.

Theres nothing but desert for miles where Live and the State of Utah is a theocracy owned in proxy by religious nut job Mormons

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well the 100% success rate has stopped. bloody milfy just had me dropping spaghetti. gutted was riding the high from my 1 min spaghetti free conversation with a qt and some accidental boob feel
ah well back to reality. it was good while it lasted

>>34862013
I know you're angry because she found someone else, but there's no need to take it out on me.

Face it. You wanted to fuck her. Then she found someone else. Rather than being cool about it and just finding someone else yourself, you went in a little baby huff because you're a weak faggot and you have no options. No wonder she sees you with contempt.

I finally found an escort who I wanted to lose my virginity to but I just checked her profile and it said that she was moving to another country and isn't coming back. fuck my life I'm going to be a virgin forever.

What are all you lads planning for valentines day?

Picked up a bottle of Laphroaig in Asda the other day, looking forward to opening it this afternoon

>>34862162
Just download Tinder. It's easy.

>>34862110
The issue with the doormat is not only does everyone walk over you theres also someone watching you though the pin hole

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>>34856949
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KV4OYkLtok

>>34862195
Staying home with my boyfriend, ordering take out and watching movies.
>inb4 faggot

>>34862195
>Laphroaig

Excellent choice sir. Ever tried the 18?

>>34862248
Never, I really want to though. What is it like?

Tried the 10, Quarter Cask, and Select. QC is my favourite, closely followed by the 10. Select was really disappointing, hardly tasted of anything

>>34861442
a-are you gonna get a daki and fuck her in front of me
th-that's mean

>>34861981
Prescriptions are read
By the nurses is blue
Are you on bennies?
Your morphine is due.

>>34862195
Going to see the lego batman movie with my Tinder hookup. Neither of us has acknowledged that it's Valentine's day though, do I'm not sure it counts. I just really want to see this movie.

post a speedtest and ISP lads, virgin media
[code]
>>> speedtest-cli
Retrieving speedtest.net configuration...
Retrieving speedtest.net server list...
Testing from So Internet (89.249.74.213)...
Selecting best server based on latency...
Hosted by Broadband 4 the Rural North (Manchester) [7.17 km]: 18.485 ms
Testing download speed........................................
Download: 196.94 Mbit/s
Testing upload speed..................................................
Upload: 11.29 Mbit/s
[/code]

>>34862195
Gonna go to meet my girlfriend after she finishes work about 7 in convent garden. Will get some dinner and go back to hers. Was joking about the free sub.
Then goings Athens on Friday for a long weekend away. Inb4norman.
>>34862223
What takeaway lad? Had a delicious kebab last night.

>>34862262
Thought you got vue tickets for la la land?

>>34862257
It's very good. It's actually pretty different from the 10. Of course it isn't short of peat, but it's also a little bit mellower with some citrus sweetness. A bit more refined - the complexity comes out a bit more, vanilla and grapefruit especially. That's in addition to everything that's in the 10.

I'd also recommend the PX - you can only get it in duty free. If you've ever tried Ardbeg Uigedail it's a bit like that. (and if you haven't, try that ASAP)

Never tried QC. Will check it out. Never tried select either, but I'll avoid it.

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Off to spend my first ever valentines with my first ever gf lads
Glad I didn't off myself when I turned 30 desu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNvqcwIV8B0

>>34861981

does he not know how to tie a tie?

>>34862206
I have for about a month now. I've had about 3 matches so far and they have all ghosted me.

>>34862317
That's actually why he started murdering people, after comments like that.

The queue at the subways gonna be fuckin huge. Dont know if I can be arsed

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>>34862313
Maybe I will pick up a bottle someday when i can justify it! Been meaning to try the PX too, almost never in the duty free annoyingly.
Uigedail is incredible, as is the regular stuff. Found pic related a few weeks ago so got loads of the 10 in. Eyeing up the Corryvreckan next

>>34862353
Is that it? You must live in the absolute middle of nowhere.

Do you have a good opening line? The one I had the most success with was "Hey - you're almost as good looking as I am!"

>>34862303
No I went to see la la land last week, with my mate's gf

>>34862110
What does it mean to be a Mormon town? Are all the authorities mormon and you can't get anywhere in life unless you are mormon?

>>34862368
I live near a uni city so it's not that. I'm just not good at talking to people because of my anxiety and insecurites

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>tfw addicted to OTC medicines
i am literally filth

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Why get so upset about valentines lads? It's just another day

look on the bright side, at least you aren't being jewed into spending exorbitant amounts of money on an engagement ring, or buying all manner of overpriced cheap "romantic" crap

>>34862407
you must love it, no worries about dealers or the police getting you

>>34862363
Yeah it's not often I spend that amount of money on a bottle of whiskey. Only done it a handful of times. The Laph 18 wasn't actually one of them - I tried it in a bar. I attempted to buy a bottle of it afterwards but it's tough to get hold of these days.

The Corryvreckan is superb. I actually just finished off a bottle a few weeks ago. I'm confident in saying that if you liked Uigedail you'll also like that. They are quite similar despite the completely different barrels. I can't decide which one is my favourite of the two of them.

>>34862426
never really thought of it like that. i suppose it's better than being addicted to illegal drugs in that sense but at least illegal drugs are not as pathetic.

>>34862397
Maybe work on that first, see a therapist and fix whatever is bothering you about yourself. Then start trying to meet women after that.

>>34862451
look at you posh cunts. a crate of stella every week is all I buy

>>34862426
OTC without a script is still illegal

>>34862465
I drink plenty of lager too.

>>34862462
all the things bothering me are physical. when I'm not scrawny, I have clear skin and I have a decent haircut and facial hair then I might actually feel confident for once.

>>34862468

No, OTC doesn't need a prescription.

>>34862497
Well that's easy. Just go to the gym and get a good skincare routine going.

>>34862425
Because i'm so lonely and seeing others gloat about having their other to spend time with even more is annoying/depressing

>>34862526
Just download Tinder and get on there mate. You'll be with someone in no time.

>>34860097
>masturbate as a biological function
And what function is that? How does one die from a lack of orgasm?

>>34862568
not him but if you struggle talking to them irl online doesn't help any. still sperg out and not know what to say.

>>34862501
i buy codeine and paracetamol and then extract the codeine which is actually illegal, but i don't think i'd get arrested for something like that.

>>34861696
He has a right to be angry, all that tiem and effort he put in to building the relationship only for her to betray him. She's a slut, a whore who trades sex for favours.

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>>34861753
Atleast you have your own bedroom. I sleep in my mum's living room, one bedroom appartment. When she's hungry at night, I wake up. When she has to piss or shit, I wake up. I never have ANY privacy (haven't fapped in years). Infact I'm disgusted by women now due to the sole reason of hearing my mother piss and shit for years on end.

FUCK I HATE BEING A POORFAG

>>34862610
How do you extract the codeine? Sounds like some breaking bad shit

>>34862594
ejaculation
even the nofapfags talk about how they get wet dreams all the time, it's something you literally can't prevent your body from doing even if you don't initiate it yourself

>>34862568
>You'll be with someone in no time
You might be norman, but we're all tiny fish in a huge, overpopulated pond

MY SISTERS A RACEMIXING WHORE> SHE@S DATING A FUCKING ITALIAN
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34862690
italians are white anon

>>34862425
This place is normie-central desu, all bitter about roasties when waifus are right on the table.

>>34862665
Cold water extraction. Literally the most simple thing ever, even a monkey could do it.

>>34862705
NO TEHYRE NOT YOU FUCKING KEK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34862425
It's only got me this year because I could've had a gf.

>>34862665
put all the tablets in water (amount of water depends on number of tablets), stir until thoroughly dissolved, put in freezer for 30-40 minutes, filter liquid through coffee filter or kitchen roll or shirt, dispose of paracetamol sludge, drink water.

>>34862690

Ravioli
Ravioli
Cum in my asshole

I think that's how it goes.

>>34862652
Why don't you just sleep in the drawing room?

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>>34862711
2D pure>3DPD sluts
there's still time for them to realise the truth lad.

Think of all the normies that will be having sex tonight.

The money grubbing jews have ruined Saint Valentine's day.

>>34862612
She wasn't his girlfriend - she didn't betray him.

And who said anything about the other guy doing him favours?

He's just a faggot who orbited a roastie online and then got angry like a little faggot when she got a boyfriend.

>>34862314
>excited about meeting a girl who's had sex with more men than you can call friends

>>34862772
He says their relationship developed, that they were going to the next level.
She abused him, why can't you accept that?

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>>34862757
not just cute grils either. some qt chaps as well. caters to all tastes

c'mon, c'mon
do it
I'm right here
c'mon do it

>>34862751
There's only the bathroom, a toilet, opposite of the toilet door is my mum's bedroom, and then we have a small living/eating room with a built-in kitchen. That's it. Been living like this now for over 4 years. I'm paying rent out of the ears as well, losing my mind lads. And I'm too much of an autist to find my own place.

>>34862801
They hadn't even met. The "next level" thing was in his head.

>>34862824
So you can't even sleep in the billiards room?

You should get a job in a high class call center and then you'll be lord of the manor in no time.

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>>34862765
>tfw my ex and crush will both be having sex tonight

>>34862827
If the emotional connection is there it's as fully fledged a relationship is any.

>>34862314
good stuff lad. never spent valentines with anybody desu.
enjoy the day mate

>>34862838
I have diagnosed autism and have never worked a day in my life. I'm 25. Seriously thinking about ending it all mate.

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>>34862844
>>tfw my ex and crush will both be having sex tonight
How does that fucking work? Dykes?

>>34862864
Nah fuck that.

If you have diagnosed autism and proper bennies from it then you could easily get your own place.

Just get your own little flat, then have a steady supply of high quality weed from the darknet coming in, plenty of beers in the fridge, maybe even a small collection of modestly priced spirits and you're laughing.

Play computer games, chill out online, watch daytime tv, watch films, learn to cook, learn to mix cocktails and you'll have a better life than 99% of normies.

>>34862886
thatd be pretty nice but unfortunately not, separate men.

do prostitutes do discounts on valentine's?

>went to bed at 8pm
>woke up at 10am

I love being neet. Wageslaves will NEVER know this feel.

>>34862864
Are you on the council house register?
Where you live?

>>34862889
That's my dream mate, but I'm so scared to go out that I can't even make it to the appointments when I make one to go and check some flat.

Also my flat would be a mess in no time, I fuckin hate cleaning up.

Still though, I hope I can one day reach that goal. Thanks mate, I feel a bit better now.

>>34862919
Might be more expensive than usual. A lot of clients about plus girls actually like Valentines and will be tempted to skive off.

>>34862938
I dunno where you live mate, but if you're in a cheap area then you could probably afford some Polish woman cleaning your place for a few hours a week.

No need to spaghetti just go for a walk while she's doing it and come back to a nice clean flat.

You can arrange it all on an app these days.

>>34862931
about to go to sleep right now
I expect to wake up around midnight

nobody even bothers me during the day any more

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Going to have a pot noodle and a pack of paprika crisps for tea. Today's a good day.

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>>34862919
>thatd be pretty nice but unfortunately not, separate men.
Yeah nah, get out poof.

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>>34862992
>being attracted to women makes you gay

>>34863004
>separate men
>women
Where did you get that shite from?

>>34862931
i've lead both lives mate. 17-29. had 2 temp jobs in those years. prob worked 3 month in all. been working for 8 years now.
but you do have a point my little smug chum. sleeping all day was fun. but i made the decision to start slavery due to my need of moar drugs in muh life. bennies just didn't top up my fun fund enough.
work's not too bad. nothing doing today
been sat stoned all morning in front of a fire n just had a nice nap in the locker room. finish in 80 min n off home to get high n have another nap. then treat myself to a valentines wank

thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-S1o5OmMMo

>>34863023
How can you not follow his posts? He's got two different crushes and they're both getting shagged by two different lads tonight.

>>34863023
He might have meant his ex is having sex with a man and his crush is having sex with another man. Not that they're sexing each other.

Confused me, too, bruv.

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Going to have a nap, lads.

>>34863045
i thought his ex and crush had gone off together

>>34863044
The way he wrote it made it sound like they were having sex with each other
>>34863045
Yeah, I get you.

>>34863055
enjoy it lad. just woke up from a nap myself
was a bit confused at first then realised i was at work. lel

>/britfeel/-Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good

The lads and I were having this roleplaying game based on a roguelike /tg/ experience via Discord.

During the early period the main lads' girlfriend threw up all over the train platform and passed out, went to hospital thankfully.

When we picked it up later the same night he got a phone call and went silent.

Turns out him/their other friend had finally left themselves hanging from a soccer goal.


This is a terrible feel, lads. Sorry to blogpost, just needed to get these feels out.

>get two Inhalers for asthma one one prescription
>have to pay 16.80

Did I just get ripped off by a pharmacist?

>>34863091
>soccer goal

get the fuck out of here you foreign cunt

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>>34863083
The list of things we can't do grows longer again.

>>34863106
I thought I'd say soccer because a football goal makes it sound a bit too close to home.

>>34863055
*violates the nap*

>>34863091
What the fuck m8, was expecting this to go down the generic cucking route. That's grim.

>>34863121
Just say goalposts. We'll probably assume it's football posts and not shinty or some shit. Still your m8 has my condolences.

>>34863083
>center
CENTRE
E
N
T
R
E
get it fucking right lad.

>>34862425
Lel, do people really care? Its just Tuesday lads. Only today you can get a free subway. Its not even Tuesday if you think about, life is really just one long thing, only sometimes it gets dark and cold.

>>34863167
If you know what day it is you aren't a true NEET.

>>34863163
I just copypasted it desu, couldn't remember the phrase from the movie.

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>>34863124
Don't tread on Mado

>>34863167
>Free

good goy!

its totally free goy :^)

ITS NOT FREE

you have to buy a drink for 1.50
the sammich alone is normally 3.00

>>34863215
Save a cheeky 1.50 at least

>>34863215
Free enough for me bby

Just bought mummy a bottle of co-op prosecco for valentine's day.

>>34863237
awww.
aren't you a good lad
lucky mummy. give her a hug and tell you you love her as well lad.
will make her day

Any high paid robots?

>industry
>salary / day rate

Just measured my willy in the work toilets lads. Only 5 1/2 inches or 14.2cm to be precise. Wasn't really in the right mood though maybe it is bigger when I'm more relaxed

>>34863320

>20k a year
>in the North East

I'm like a millionaire

>>34863215
The amount of business that they're getting from it is insane though. Its basically just half price which isnt bad but its money you wouldn't be spending with them without it.

>>34863320
>Creative advertising consultant
>I sometimes charge a day rate which is 500. But sometimes I charge by the project which can be up to 15,000 plus royalties for something that will take me six weeks or so. Depends whether I'm working for an agency or a client, whether it's direct response or an above-the-line campaign/TV campaign.

>>34863361
Plus it's a drink from the machine, right? Margins on that are insane. Probably they make more profit from someone buying a drink for 1.50 than someone buying a sandwich for 3.00

Never buy kingsmill soft white loaf lads. It's fucking abysmal.

It ripped the second it saw the butter and then when I bit into my sandwich it was so dry it ruined the whole fucking thing and I had to throw it way.

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>>34858653
>Every normie in the land has to have an overpriced dinner tonight packed in with other normies like battery hens
>50% chance of the night ending in an argument
>50% change of a rushed obligation shag
The smart NEET on the other hand has a comfy evening of takeaway and movies ahead of him

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Got a valentine's day pork pie lads.

>>34863320
>Designer
>60K plus stock options

>>34863391
Fuck off lad it's as good as bread gets.

>>34863391
Don't keep your butter in the fridge lad

>>34863431
Graphic designer?

>>34863515
Mostly digital stuff, do everything really, ui,branding,animation,creative.

>>34863391
>Not making your own bread

>>34863540
No wonder you're paid so much with a skillset like that, good work mate.

>BBC news article about the most liked man on tinder
>he's 6'2"
>pilot
>model
>his advice is "have a good profile"

I've never wanted to kill a man more than right now, fuck this self centred cunt god.

>>34863605
So I see the BBC news is slowly but surely becoming tabloid news

>>34863605
What did you expect him to say? "Be tall and good looking"?

Most people would find that more obnoxious than what he said.

>>34863605
In ages past you could just secretly bash his head in with a rock, now you just have to sit there and watch all the bitches flock to him.

>>34863605
Just read that. He seems like a nice enough guy desu. At least he actually has a proper career.

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>>34863461
>it's as good as bread gets
hang on a minute there lad....

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>soon 21 years without gf

this feel is truly the holy gift

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I don't understand normies lads. Two months of talking for hours to oneitis every day, and now I'm being ghosted. Fucking potatonigger. I can't believe I fell for it. Can't believe I've stooped to being a fucking orbiter.

>>34863667

Cry me a river. 23

>>34863684

Well stop being one then

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>>34854768
Love it!
>>34854787
Best girl!
>>34856949
Spending this romantic day reading about 'Theories of Migration and social change' and maybe making a romantic dinner for the waifu.
>>34863667
>>34863690
years from expected age to have a gf or birth?

>>34863690
not crying lad, these are truly the greatest days of my life

>>34863667
>>34863690
children go back to primary school

>>34863684
Hard to know if you're an orbiter if you only talk to her in isolation

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>>34863695

I've learnt my lesson.

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>>34863648
The best bread I ever had was at the Louis XV restaurant in Monte Carlo, which has three michelin stars. The meal was 273 pounds a head.

When I hear some worthless pleb nobody on here say that Tesco tiger bread is the best in the world, it just makes me laugh.

Some people have such shit lives.

>>34854768

How do I make money online? Slidejoy only gives me 3 bong a month, and I get rejected from all the surveys

>>34863605
He's also black. Someone post a thread on /r9k/ you'll get 500 replies easy

>>34863730
For 273 pounds I could eat tiger bread almost every day of the year

I think I'm winning

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>>34863715

What do you mean? Surely it doesn't matter whether its just me or if I'm one of many, I've still been orbiting

>>34863737

Go be a virtual call centre drone with Arise

>>34863743
I mean if you just communicate via whatsapp or whatever its hard to tell if you're just an orbiter because you dont see her interact with you in the context of other people

>>34863696
lucky lad. got a mate staying at mine so can't have the romantic night i was planning on having.

>>34863730

>I go on 4chan to brag about my life.

Sad!

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I can't stop lusting after women. Help me, every single one that shows me even an inkling of warmth I instantly lust after.

>>34863730
>Picture from google
Atleast commit to this gimmick fatlad.

>>34863730
>Not just making your own bread
What a mong

>>34863818
The picture isn't mine. It's from Andy Hayler's restaurant review site. I don't go around taking photos in the restaurants I go to.

>>34863605
>most liked man on tinder
Highly doubt that, surely a hollywood celebrity would get way more likes. Funny thing is, the BBC wouldn't dare make an article about the most liked woman on Tinder

>>34863893
Why would a hollywood celebrity go on Tinder?

>>34863909
I was about to say.
Celebs mingle with eachother all the time and you don't see them getting with some nobody

>>34863909
If you watch Jimmy Kimmel and other shit talk shows, most do

>>34863893

Yeah, a woman would get 40 matches in 40 swipes like it was fucking nothing.

>Mess about on reddit on doggo subreddits
>Every single one has named their dog after some fucking pop culture character
>"Hey guys look at Anakin here!"
>"Zoidberg doesn't like having baths lol"
>"Link and Zelda having a nice cuddle on the sofa!"
These people make me actually disgusted
Not in an overreacting-for-the-sake-of-conversation way, it legitimately makes me feel queasy

>>34863927
Don't be so naive. That's obviously a pr campaign and they are paid by Tinder to say that, so people will go on hoping to match with a celebrity.

Having one of those M&S meals for one for lunch. Bretty gud way to ingest 500 calories.

I want sex. Give me sex. I want some bloody nookey alright.

Just got a cheeky McDonalds, it was fucking packed in there though so I got my food and speedwalked out before those little shits screaming became too much.

>>34863973
I can't understand why people do it because it's almost like a red flag to me if someone's pet has a characters name

>We thank you for attending your recent interview however, you were unfortunately unsuccessful. Please don't hesitate to apply for any open positions in the future.

I didn't even get invited to an interview what the fuck

I've started prank calling companies.

It's fun and I feel cool when I do it.

>>34864169
which companies have you prank called so far?

>>34863973
I don't know what I'd name a dog if I got one. Probably just a person name like Dave or some shit.

>>34864169
Why aren't you vocarooing them for us?

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>>34864055
>>34863973
>Person I work with wants to name his soon to be born kid after Zelda

>>34864173
Various real estate companies. I wanted people that were actually in the UK, prank calling Rajeesh in Mumbai wouldn't be as funny, so I went with companies I'd knew would be local.

>>34864194
I don't know how to do that.

I have an app on my phone called Call Recorder that's recording them though.

>>34864223
I'm really hoping he's having a boy and naming it zelda

>student gets me a valentine's card
>I get a bollocking for not rejecting it
wtf

>>34864257
Think he's naming it after some comic book character if its a boy

>>34864267
>A teacher that browses britfeel
this is worrying

>>34864280
assistant, so it wouldn't even be illegal for me to shag her

>>34864239
Then upload the Mp3s to Vocaroo so we can hear them.

REEEEE im so fucking pissed off, i was on my sisters phone looking at her holiday photos and she got a facebook notification from some guy.. she quickly grabbed the phone out my hands but i managed to see his name so i looked him up and found his instagram, hes a fucking turbo chad literal male model

i dont care if im sperging i dont want my sister being tainted by chad fucking fuck off why does chad ruin everything

>>34864223
Isn't Robin Williams daughter called Zelda or some shit

>>34864323
Never gotten this meme. Maybe its cause I dont have a sister but I dont really give a shit what my brother does provideing he doesnt like die

>>34864323
lol, I don't understand this mindset.

Your sister is a WHORE, she's willingly jumping on chads cock. Stop caring about her.

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>tfw slowly gaining a fetish for fatties

anyone else find it awkward when someone is clearly talking shit but you want to be nice and not cause an argument?

i said that thatcher basically ruined a lot of communities with her policies and idea, and the person i was speaking to said she had it hard due to being a women in the 20th century.

>>34864325
Yep, it says something about him.

>>34864323
What, you want to shag her yourself?

As if you wouldn't shag a model if they were interested. Not that they ever would be interested in you, of course.
>>34864354
Yeah those grapes sure are sour! Fucking pathetic virgin. Enjoy another valentines day alone you sad cunt. I hope you cry about it. :)

>>34864365
Nature finds a way.

>>34864365
Don't worry lad, I've been there for years now. Sad thing is, I'd never fuck a fatty in real life because I imagine they smell horrid and get all horribly sweaty but porn girls look clean and guessing they have to keep high hygiene standards for their job.

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>>34864365
soon you'll be fappin to shit like this

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>>34864344
>>34864354
>>34864384
its not a meme you insensitive CUNTS, shes 4 years younger than me and its always been my duty to protect her so fuck off with this shit. its obvious this fucking guy has no intentions of treating her well and marrying her he just wants to do what chad does best fuck off all of you

look at him the smug cunt do you really think hes gonna look after her? of course fucking not reeeeee

>>34864440
>Marrying her

Not everyone has your fucked up virgin's moral code that you must marry a pure maiden, you fedora tipping faggot.

Sex with good looking people is fun. You should try it sometime.

>>34864440
You sure she isn't being led on by a catfish? A little too good to be true. Either that or your sister is fucking smoking.

>>34864440
He looks exactly like the kind of guy that treats girls well nigga

no homo

>>34864397
I hope not. That looks bizarre

>>34864440
lol he is like a 10. your sister must be cute as fuck if he is bothering with her. let your sister have her fun and learn from her mistakes, its part of growing up. you cant shelter her forever

>>34864440
I mean. I'm not gay but damn. Dont blame her

>>34864440
Could be a lot worse than that guy lad, believe me.

>>34864440
That image is on over a thousand pages on google. No joke, either you're making this up for some reason, he's famous as fuck or your sister is being catfished

>>34864440
Number 36
http://www.mens-hairstyle.com/35-mens-medium-hairstyles-2015.html

Your sister might be being catfished if you're not playing a little joke on us.

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>>34864440
is this her fella ere on pinterest

>>34864514
i think he is making it up. classic prank.

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>>34864480
it's a slippery slope from there oto

Kind of unrelated but my mind has just become boggled by the concept of middle names. Like what's the point in them? I have one, most people do, but we don't really think of them unless someone asks, its like a star sign.

>>34864514
>>34864526
>>34864533
phew thank fuck for that

Just did an 8 min prank call with a restaurant, I pretended I was a rich american looking to rent out the place for a special occasion.

I liked this one because the guy didn't even know he was being pranked.

>>34864547
Why do you expect any of us to give a fuck when you aren't even uploading them for us to listen to?

>34864459
>>34864440
>shes 4 years younger than me and its always been my duty to protect her

Why? Because you came out of the same vagina?

Your sister is a whore, she's not being taken advantage of she just wants dirty, slutty sex with a guy she doesn't know and doesn't care about a relationship. It's a fact you pathetic faggot.

>>34864547
What do you end them with?
'haha i was only joking'

>>34864567
When I feel confident in my pranking abilities I'll upload them.

>>34864582
I said I would call him later in the month after I've talked to some other restaurants.

>>34863415
Put... Put your dick in it.

It was made for it.

h-hi my name is r-roman and i want to, erm hello?, erm yeah i w-want to rent out the restaurant ONLY JOKING HAHAHAHAA

>>34864581
not him but
NOOOOOO!
little sisters are sweet and innocent
you're a dirty slut that wants sex with men

>>34864440
Who cares, we're all just meat bags experiencing sensations before we eventually die

>>34864631
Fuck you mate, I've uploaded it to Vocaroo just to show you how completely different from this it is..

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fE22b2h7uB

>>34864641
Ouch, lad. Careful where you point that edge.

>>34864547

wow, you sure showed them haha :^)

>>34864756
This is fucking perfect
originally

>>34864756

Iove it mate

I had a weird thought on my way back from the shops.

>Saw a middle aged woman on the other side of the road walking in the opposite direction
>"I could run over there and smash her head against the wall and kill her before anyone could stop me, I might even get away without being seen"

People are so trusting, if you were someone who operated without any justification you'd cause so much havoc. Imagine how many kids you could kill with a chain saw in a primary school assembly. Makes me wonder why this doesn't happen more often.

>>34864756
yes, lad. keep making them. that was amazing.

>>34864756
I want to do this.

Is Skyping to people free?

>>34864821
i don't think you'd be able to do it in an assembly. guessing there would be other teachers there. you'd have to be able to be alone with them so your fun wasn't spoiled. maybe find a way to lock them in the assembly hall.you could take your time then, maiming them, lopping little heads off left right and centre.but then there's the risk of the cops turning up. suppose you could always petrol bomb a playgroup or something chain all doors so nobody gets out.

>>34864821

It doesn't happen more often because most people would never even consider it.

I know what you mean though, I think about it sometimes.

Who else here /borntolose/?

>>34864967
feel like i was born to suffer yeah.
just roll with the punches lad. death takes us all at some point. and if you get fed up of waiting you can bring it on sooner yourself

>>34864967
I was born to win but I'm purposely losing.

>>34857076
How do I get to this stage?

I've been through the prison gay stage, but I could never get to prison asexual

>>34865044
I think you either go one way or the other.

>>34864821
Some subway pushers got away with it for a long time