Anyone here genuinely has psychosis or schizophrenia? How did

File: 1474145792208.jpg (37KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 640x640px

Anyone here genuinely has psychosis or schizophrenia?

How did it began?

I've suffered from major depression for years and it has gotten really bad the last year, specifically the last 5 months. From a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being "you quit life, you quit your job, you don't do anything, you just lay in bed waiting to die" then I'm a 4, somehow I've managed to keep my job, maybe not for long.

Anyways, I started doing weed and acid with the intention of using both as therapy, and it really helped me, I overcame social anxiety and "autism", only because I realized I don't give a fuck about anything.

Usually, after doing acid+weed (I trip every 2 weeks, sometimes in consecutive weekends) I feel euphoria and motivation the following days.

During the whole trips I feel happiness and motivation, but I also cry a lot, like 70% of the trip is unpleasant.

I've been getting these attacks while being on these 2 drugs. I get the worst feeling of despair, loneliness and depression, my whole body starts twitching violently, I start crying hard, and my head starts hurting really bad and I'm in a state of stupor and shock the whole time, then I get an immense feeling of happiness (still with the headache, but less intense), then I forget that I'm on acid and I get some very strong visuals and happiness, then the whole thing starts again in very short timespans, for like 2 hours.

2 days ago I noticed that this has happened my last 4-5 acid trips. The whole thing feels like a seizure or a stroke, I don't know. It leaves me destroyed the following days, but at least I kinda feel motivated.

Also I noticed that I daydream a lot (usually about suicide). Sometimes I imagine long, elaborated, vivid conversations in my head that aren't happening, and I get caught in those thoughts, and it's one of the reasons that I can't sleep, in the end I know they're fake.