Your co-worker walks up to you and asks you this. How do you respond?

Bitch you know I'm married step the fuck off

I work in a engineering firm with guys in their 50s. I tell Greg to finish his project and stop fucking around

bitch you have a bf and daughter

All my female co workers are either:
>married
>over 40
>related to me

>all three

No thanks.

I don't have a co-worker, but if I did, I'd look at her funny then walk away

>>34850048
>co-worker

I'm NEET, when did I get a job?

Can I have a job?

Sure, why not, I'm single.

>>34850084
>"Anon, I'm one hundred percent serious. I've loved you since the day we met."

What do?

accept and proceed to fucc his boipucci

>>34850201
She's a fellow NEET.

>>34850048
b-but we are both girls

>>34850258
Girls can also date other girls.

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>>34850048
N-no y-you roastie! Hahahaha!


>TFW then cry myself to sleep

>>34850284
Proof
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0MT8SwNa_U

>>34850224
That sounds ideal then if she's cool with talking 8+ hours a day over Skype with me.

>>34850048
If she did I would've said yes and we'd both have dates for valentines.

But no she had to leave it all up to me. Leave it all to the nervous, self-conscious, anxious reject. Bravo.

>>34850314
You're both NEETs, what else are you gonna do? Of course she'd love nothing more than to spend her days talking to you.

>>34850440
Alright, now we're just going to make each other sad, anon.

I just got out of a relationship like that.

>>34850459
>I just got out of a relationship like that.
Why, what happened anon? I'm sorry for bringing that up.

>>34850479
I scared her off. She has abandonment issues and preferred to stop talking to me than potentially be left again.

She was really nice, but there are more. I'll get over it and try again another time, you know?

>>34850623
>I scared her off.
How?

>>34850639
We liked each other. She was afraid of liking someone after what had happened to her last time.

I would probably say no
There is no hope for me

>>34850662
Sounds like hardcore trust issues. Was she raped?

>>34850679
I'm not going to get into it to that extent.

It happened, and I'm trying to get over it.

>>34850712
Alright, I'm glad at least you'll get over it unlike some anons who write stories about being depressed for years.

>>34850712
That's a yes to raped.

>>34850852
It's a no, but I'm not going to say what the problem actually was out of respect.

>>34850048
if she was cute and white id say sure

>>34850048
act super nervous, and stutter a lot, and make a total fool of myself. Then brush myself off once she's convinced of the act and loses interest.

I'd vomit uncontrollably because all my female coworkers are hideous af

No. Don't shit where you eat.

>>34851794
>if she was cute and white id say sure
>cute and non-white = rejected

you definitely may be certainly gay, my buddo

>>34850048
I have to return some videotps.

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>>34852291
Anon, don't just stare at it, eat it.

>>34852252
if i ever date a girl its going to be with marriage in mind
if i get married i want to have kids
i dont want mixed children

>>34850084
I too work in a place full of men, machinists.

>>34850206
"Sorry dude, I just don't swing that way."

>>34852252
You don't know what he defines as cute. Personally as long as a girl is feminine enough that I can tell she's a girl and not a dude she's cute enough for me.

Probably just my virgin talking, but if I dont know her enough i'd probably turn her down. I've done it before.

>coworker
I... now get paid for shitposting?
And I even get a MOTHERFUCKING COWORKER??
dis the best day of me life pham

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>>34850048

If it's a girl, I politely decline
If it's a guy, I tell them I don't think homosexual relationships can work, then politely decline

I am, in fact, gay and the second statement is true

Tell her, I don't eat where I shiy.

>>34850048
Is that Felix? Source?

>>34853160
Did you say that backwards on purpose?

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>>34850291
do you even know the context of this pepe? dont use it casually like this, anon.

>>34850048
I assume it's a prank and ignore her

>>34853211
hello newfriend, you can search for the image in OP by using the triforce on the side

>>34852590
I am protected by several wards of dfens magick.

Two of which are "shame" and "willpower".
My penis may have inflated because of ass, but I dont exist on the sexual plane.
My astral form cannot even breach the film that binds it together.

>>34853923
>>34853923
>I assume it's a prank and ignore her
Then she litterally tackles you to the floor.
Pinning you by your inevitably thin wrists.
Uncomfortably straddling your lap staring DIRECTLY into your eyes until you eventually get an erection.

When she feels it move she shifts her weight and pins your chest with her forearm to use her free hand to undo your belt and painfully pull out and expose your dick as it bends the wrong way for a second as she fumbles her grip dragging the head across the teeth of your fly

Youve already lost energy from attempting to process whats happening when she takes it in both hands to pull your boxers further down under the scrote.

Then she gets face close to your dick
then the manager to the shoprite the both of you works at comes out and says "wtf??" She sees precum leaking out and screams "ITSS A PRANK ITTSA PRANK " JUMPING UP AND STEPING ON YOUR CHEST YOU GET OVER YOU

>>34853923
This and then go into a tangent about how I don't do dating at work to avoid drama and a sexual harassment talk with HR.

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>>34850048
>Your co-worker walks up to you and asks you this. How do you respond?
I don't work, I must be hallucinating

>>34855286
Nump yor dov

>>34856287
>Nump yor dov
what

>>34850048
already fucked her so i'm good, she whores around alot.

>>34856342
its being disvanniod you have ti waffghr up

>>34850048
If they look like that, I'd say "no shit"

>>34850048
i literally had this happen to me once

I said no because she was 17

Jesus fucking christ im retarded

>>34850048
>dating a coworker

We could possibly fugg, but I'm iffy on that too.

>>34850048
Depends on the coworker.

my oneitis works in the front and if she asked me this I would say yes in a heartbeat but thats never going to happen because i'm a loser.

>>34854132
What is this autismo speak?