>impregnated my landlord Guys I'm freaking out right now.

>>34847721
Well, is your landlord attractive at least? We need more information.

>>34847734
She's a chubby 39 year old.

>>34847734
Why do you give a shit about a random nigger on the internet?

>>34847761
Welp, it's time to marry her and settle down. At least you'll make a living sharing in her property wealth. gj gg nextmap

>>34847783
Bro I'm only 22

>>34847782
Because what we want most is someone to be kind to us and to care about us, anon. When you stop doing that you become part of what's wrong with our world.

That is exactly like in my Japanese cartoons. Is she cute? Is she acting like a mom towards you?

>>34847801
And you may never get another chance to marry into having some stable money either. It could be worse.

>>34847812
Hope you get curb stomped

>>34847801
feed her more stuff so she die sooner so you get all the money

>>34847821
She's alright for someone her age. She kinda acts like a mom to me (not in bed though). I just can't have kids now. I'm too young.

>>34847801
You shouldn't have been having sex with women you weren't ready to have kids with.

At least she's got property wealth, so you'll be fine.

>>34847836
I can't marry someone 17 years older than me.

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>>34847761
>She's a chubby 39 year old.

Enjoy that autistic kid

>>34847879
I thought she would handle the birth control. I made it clear that I was a virgin going into our relationship so she should have taken the lead on those kind of things.

>>34847839
I hope someday you refuse the hate and ugliness that has festered in your heart, anon.

>>34847893
You should have worn a condom man.

But whatever, what's done is done. 22 is a fine age to be having kids and it's nowhere in the books that you can't marry someone 17 years older than you.

Just take in stride man.

>>34847893
You can, you just don't want to. Enjoy paying alImony.

Just push her down a flight of stairs. It's not rocket science you know? Anyway many babies do not make it anyway. A woman that old probably has no good eggs in her anyway. Even if the child makes it, it's gonna be crippled with genetic diseases.

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>>34847721
>>34847761
>She's a chubby 39 year old.
>cumming in your frumpy landlords pussy

hot

>>34847893
Welp, now you have a family to think of. You'd better get married and try to make it work if you don't want your child to have a disaster of a life.

>>34847916
I'm a NEET, I can't get married.

>>34847721
I might be in a similar situation but if shes pregnant shes going for abortion. I don't have a lot of advice but I wish you the best of luck.

>>34847965
You do realize you are in a dream scenario for most NEETS. You now get free everything. Money/Food/Rent. Gets better once she die

>>34848046
I just don't know man, I've never heard of something like this working out.

>>34848046
>impregnate someone
>that means they love you and want to provide for you for the rest of your life!

that's not really how it works you guys

is this real life? What'd I miss today? Some /rk9/ anon knocked up a 39 year old female wizard?

>>34848078
He's a NEET. At worst he get kick out. It's not like she's going to chase him for money. He literally has nothing to offer.

>>34847880
Of course you can.
>>34847893
>I thought she would handle the birth control
>thought
That's where you fucked up. She saw you as her last chance to have a child and maybe even a family, it's time to take responsibility and live off your wifes money.

>>34848108
And that's why the most likely scenario is that he'll keep his place as long as he can provide rent and be treated with contempt regardless of whether she gets an abortion or not.

>>34848078
A desperate 39year old might just put up with him you know. I doubt it was an accident on her part.

>>34848113
Yeah, this was pretty much her plan probably. Good luck, anon. I hope you have a healthy child.

>>34848127
The best scenario is for her to have the baby though. He can use the baby as a leverage to get free shit. He can play the baby card.

>>34848113
I don't want to abandon any kid, but this is really fucked up.

>>34848158
What the fuck, no, he can't play the baby card at all? You think a court's going to back that up? If anything, SHE plays the baby card and gets the little he has.

>>34848139
I'm not on good terms with my parents, so I can't stay with them. I also don't make enough to live anywhere else. She's been letting me stay practically for free since we got together.

OP have you talked with her at all about how you guys will handle this? Does she want to keep it, or is she going to abort it/put up for adoption?

Best thing for you to do would be marry and join her in her wealth

>>34848207
She's definitely going to keep it. She wants me to be a good father. I'm scared as shit.

>>34848160
You fucked up. Anyhow if you were looking at a lifetime of neetdom and wizardhood your current situation is preferable to that. Anyhow you seemed to have an actual relationship with her and not just a fuckbuddy arrengement. If your relationship is atleast bearable you probably should just become a stay at home dad.

>>34848184
No dude. WTF. Assuming she's not a psychopath. She'll want the kid to a normal family so a father figure is needed. So he can be the stay at home dad. She doesn't need money. She wants someone to be there.

>>34848229
Just be a dad. I'm currently trying to get the wealth together so that I can support a child with my girlfriend.

>>34848186
>I'm not on good terms with my parents, so I can't stay with them. I also don't make enough to live anywhere else
>She's been letting me stay practically for free since we got together
You need her, she wants you. It all checks out. An accident child with your landlord is literally your best case scenario, embrace it. It really doesn't sound that bad.

>>34848238
I guess I don't really have a choice at this point.

You could probably slip some plan b into her food anon.

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>pleasured a fat, overage landlord.
Yet another fuckwit ruins his life and resorts to 4chan to get a reason why.

>>34848255
>She wants someone to be there.
This.
>>34848263
It doesn't sound all that awful anon. Do you know the gender of the baby?

>>34847761
how is that possible she's nearly too old to have kids, it'll probably be a miscarriage if she's not just trying to trick you into being her house boy or pay more rent

>>34848347
>Do you know the gender of the baby?

No not yet. I just found out about the pregnancy last night.

>>34848350
My mom had my brother at 42 and he's perfectly healthy.

>>34848186
Bro, you have the choice of marrying her and living off her work and property for the rest of your life while you can fuck her, or getting thrown into prison for failing to pay child support, because nobody hires a homeless NEET, and becoming Bubba's bitch.

Unless you're into getting assraped by a 7 foot tall fat nigger, go out and get a ring today.

>>34848350
Some women are fertile easily to their mid 40s anon (without any treatments).

>>34848078
>Ugly 39 year old single woman
>Not falling in love with anyone with a penis willing to not throw up too much during sex

>>34847880

Holy shit, you're 22? Lol, omg, this is epic. I hope she doesn't want to keep it lol.

>>34848113
>it's time to take responsibility and live off your wifes money.
My sides.

How are OP's feelings toward this lady?

>>34848413

>ugly

Why ugly? I know a couple of hot 40 year olds.

>>34848263
For ~30 year old NEETS. This situation would be their promise land.
For you though. You can still change, still have the whole world ahead of you. Having the kid would mean you have to stay here for a long time.

If you think you still have a chance in this world(like your looks aren't bad and you can socialize) , you should take whatever you have and run for it.

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OP you are living the dream

>have a sexy 27 year old female landlord
>I myself am a fat 37 year old loser with a shit job
>Whenever I see my landlord I try and make her horny
>do things like leaving dildos around with my shit on when she comes for inspection barely hidden under the bed, 'accidentally' clogging the sinks with my pubic hair and cum etc
>made a false email to spam her with emails about how 'pregnant landlords now allowed to charge double rent under state law'
>thought she would want me to make her pregnant for the money
>always pay my rent at 1.09am (69 minutes into the day) as a sexual hint
>always shower and shit with the door open in case she walks in

Man I want to fuck her so bad guys
I literally pissed and shit on the sofa so she would have to come and pay for cleaning. I offered to let her keep the deposit on the flat and thought it would make her more attracted to me

It looks like I'm going to have to stay with her and raise this kid.

>>34847721
Move OFF THIS BOARD

>>34848549

>autism the post

Yeah, she's totally getting horny when she sees your shit covered dildos.

>>34848603
That is by far your best option.

>>34848603
What did you have planned for the future before this?

Baited and outsmarted, op. Lmao@you.

>>34848603
she might fall down the stairs one day and leave everything she owns to you anon, you never know

push her, do it faggot

>>34848350
you know most women only become infertile around their mid to late-forties ya know

>>34848603
Enjoy, anon. Make the best of things and enjoy your good fortune!

>>34848603
The child can turn out to be a girl.
If you know what I mean

>>34848374
That's hardly anecdotal
>>34848408
Yeah but what are the odds, statistically even if she did happen to have a kid which isn't likely, it'll probably be a downy or something

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>>34847721
you've fucked it

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>>34848603
I've been memeing at you this entire time, but seriously I don't want to be responsible for ruining a fellow robot's life so I'm going to ask you the serious questions you need to be asking yourself.

>Do I love her, if not could I come to love her?
Self explanatory

>Will I be able to be a good father
Considering she will be providing a home for a child, what do the rest of your resources look like? Are you eligible for a job, do you have a degree or certifications? Would you be able to go study or pursue a career in order to become a contributor to the child's well being?

>Is she insane?
Considering she did what she did, she's probably not perfectly right in the head but do you think you could keep this woman under control? Do you have her figured out?

>Am I okay with my child living with a single mother?
Pic related

Time to prep the captain falcon

>>34848704
>Yeah but what are the odds, statistically even if she did happen to have a kid which isn't likely, it'll probably be a downy or something
Women in their 40s are more likely to have children with birthdefects sure. But having a healthy child even at that age is still far more likely. And the odds are not that unlikely either. Women having children in their early 40s is common nowadays you know.

>>34848704
Also something that might interest you.
http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20140203/babies-born-to-moms-over-35-may-have-lower-risk-for-certain-birth-defects#1
http://www.downsyndromeprenataltesting.com/maternal-age-the-chance-for-down-syndrome-and-prenatal-testing/

>>34848671
Nothing really
>>34848693
I try bro

>>34848754
it's only common because it's their desperate last attempts at having one and its the only time the beta bux will get a sexathon so they go along with it

>>34847721
how the hell can you impregnate a man?

you mean landlady?

>>34848820
It has more to do with the "independent" career women who prioritize their career before a family life but still want to have a baby so they set back the date where they have one. Why are you so bitter about women in their 40s having children?

>>34848309
That's not how plan b works you cretinoid. She's pregnant.

>>34848838
I'm pretty sure he meant landlady (male)

>>34848994
No, Landlord (female) you degenerate.

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>>34847916
>20 years old
>Not going to have kids ever
>Just going to bang around china-town

I'm hyped to live a life independent of other human beings.

>>34848752
Some guy I went to high school with literally did this.

>>34848603
NO dont do it you stupid shit. There is 80% the child will have autism or some other defect. You do not want to have this in your life. Dont listen to the other anons they are just bitter and want you to suffer. Convince her to have an abortion by any means and then run for your life!

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Here, don't know if this shit actually works but its worth a shot. Good luck dodging being a father

>>34849086
Did he go to prison?

>>34849095

Don't even need to convince her, just poison her ass with vitamin c or some shit.

>>34848868
"independent career woman" is a stereotype, that's like picking a random black guy out of a line up of black guys and saying he likes chicken and watermelon. While it might seem not offensive since a career is a good thing it's like telling a NEET he's smart for reading random entries on wikipedia for hours at a time.

I'm not bitter about women having children in their 40's
I'm bitter about women having children in their 30's.

>>34849154
Pretty sure. All I remember is seeing him act like a lunatic during his last days in school, then one day he just disappeared. During those last days he was also closely watched by authorities. I think he's actually out by now.

>>34849196
parsley also works, and I remember some anon posted a tea recipe a few years ago that causes uterine contractions. Pretty sure that if i works and you get caught you're going to jail tho

>>34847721
My advice is to make sure that she has a 'trip' or an incident with the vacuum.

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>>34847721
make her dress up like a medieval innkeeper and live the good life in your quiet village

>>34848838
>landlady
WHOA, SEXIST MUCH?????? TRY LANDPERSON YOU PIG

>>34847721
Just knee her real hard once when sleeping together and say you had a nightmare. Do it subtly but kick the shit out of that growing goblin while you can. It will spare you a miserable existence

can you post her fucking pic yet holy shit 94 responses already.

OP is and always will be a faggot

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>>34849923
I agree
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