Feels thread

Please don't tell me I'm the only faggot that falls for the self-sabotage meme

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I live in sweden, and 4 years ago i met an american girl online and after talking for 2 years we finally met up in D.C and that was awesome.

It later died out, i told her we should take a break because we both felt a high need for each other which couldn't be saitsfied because of the distance.

2 years later, she emails me and i get back into skyping with her. Now i try to convince her that we should meet again in New York and do things right. She says she doesn't see the point in it, but she's going to think about it. Eventually it turns out the answer is no.

Instead of having this great reunion to look forward to i end up with another dissapointment and thinking about her seeing other guys and being more satisfied with them than me. All that shit sucks.

I've tried dating girls where i live but i've never found the emotional connection to be as strong as it was between us.

I never had a gf, and i was seriously considering trying to emigrate from this shit hole and just be with her, but that was just a fantasy.

>>34828820
I'm so sorry man, do you feel like the times you shared were worth the heartbreak?

I've had one LDR with someone and it's incredibly easy to build a strong bond online where it can be harder to build that face to face, let alone find them in the first place

I wish I didn't do this to myself because it's always going to be a disappointment but at least I don't feel as alone for however long it lasts

>>34828979
It's my life, of course it was worth it.
It was great when we were in D.C.
I rented an apartment there, and we had a lot of fun.

It's a great way to explore a foregin contry too with someone who actually lives there. I was 24 at the time, and i had never been to the USA before.

It's memorable, but it's so sad it coudln't work. We knew it wouldn't but it still sucks to know that love actually has boundaries.

When i went there i was in "nothing can stop me now" mode, it was a great feeling.

>>34829168
I'm glad you had such a good time, that sounds amazing!
It must have been such an adventure as well, d'awww

It's easy to say that it'll be worth it but it still sucks being put through that pain when you know it wont work

So you managed to or are managing to get over her right? There are always other people but with my 2 past relationships I still miss them in little ways, I dunno if there is such a thing as truly getting over someone (though I don't want to be with them again)

You're probably feeling what I'm feeling, except my wound is fresh and in the flesh.

Fell hard for a qt at a show, I've been talking about it here for a while now. But now I'm actually physically depressed over it.. I will have to overcome this shit eventually, but man..

I have to wait till next year to see her in person again..and I dunno if she even liked me.. all I could say was how deeply attracted I was to her.. and that I was gonna call it a night.. I felt ripped apart.. and I knew I had to go..because I barely knew her, but my attraction was fucking through the roof.. she hugged me earlier and I just didn't know what I was feeling.. but dude, I'm feeling like shit now..I haven't felt this bad in years.

wish i could see her again..just one last time, I'd hug her harder than she hugged me.. and just kiss her on her head..

life is fucking weird... the other day i was trying my best to stop fapping to porn and dumb thoughts..

now, i don't even care for porn, and hate the situation to the point, that I could almost go crazy looking for her, if I even knew where to start..

>>34829463
she was flattered when I spoke to her.. but she was so captivating and attractive in so many different ways, that I was crushing hard..crushing like a dog..

i think she felt it... thuugh i dunno..but at one point she turned around and looked my way.. and i just kept looking at her as she walked by..

I wish I could shake the feeling. but i also wish for a second ..or..third chance? to see her..

>>34829463
I feel like we're in the same boat of feels bro

It's good that you're still talking, though I know the exact physical depression.

Who knows, a year is a long time. By then you could have moved on, met someone else or have a much stronger relationship with her. I imagine it's much more painful for you having met her in person first as you know what you're missing out on.

I hope things work out for you, whether that's with her or not anon

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When did you realize that there is literally no one out there that is right for you?

>>34829363
Well she was special.
This is /r9k/ and i lost my virginity to that girl.
The sex sucked, but yeah its not so weird that it did because we were both awkward virgins.

I will get over her, but i need to move on. I need to find a real girlfriend or im going to rot from inside over the years i think.

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>find girl online in May
>we're getting along very nice, but I don't expect much of it
>she sais she likes me, want to meet me
>meet irl in August, hug at the end (this is my biggest achievment with girls)
>she said it was ok and we should do it more
>become colder, but tell me that it's because she's tired of studies
>doesn't ask for a meetings
>every time I ask she finds another reason not to go, but anyway she seems interested in me
>meet few times, they are ok, but nothing more, only hugs at the end
>I'm obsessed with her
>she's colder and colder to me with every day
>I feel frustrated 24/7 and our relationship is even worse because of it
>finally decide to cut contact with her because we planned to meet and at the last moment she found some stupid reason not to go
>she says she likes me, but that I act like asshole now and if I want it, she doesn't care
>I say ok, good luck
>delete her everywhere
>she doesn't even say anything to me in return
>she doesn't try to stop me
>tfw I actually lost any hope of finding gf now, delete account on every dating site
>tfw when I'm horny I think about her, so I'm looking for chubby porn, and because of it I feel like shit
>tfw gain chubby fetish because of her
>it's been 3 months
>she wasn't even my gf

Why can't I let it go? How to let it go? I had girls refused me, but somehow this one struck me harder.
Fuck

>>34829909
>chubbt fetish
In a way it's good that you've gained realistic insight on what kind of girls you're actually going to date in life.

>>34829823
I know theres someone out there for me but they'll always be out of reach so what's the point

>>34829846
Sex isn't going to be great the first couple times anyway but it must have been nice to share that anyway

I know what you mean, moving on is best but its so hard finding 'real' people

>>34829909
you need to let go man, its not easy, but you need to

>>34829823
After my last break up and the frequent failures after with other girls. A lot of women I tried dating don't have the maturity level I desire it feels like. It's not like I'm some fucking sophisticated mature person, I am just done fucking around with relationships and I want something real instead of a shitty flirt-fest and to feel special with hollow words and meaningless compliments.

Mostly being serious and settling down in a relationship rather than fucking around for a while making each other feel nice in a honeymoon phase and then dumping each other after the feeling dies.

>>34830261
in a way that I know that there is no girls for me to date because even chubby one left me for Chad, yeah

>all these walls of text

>>34830524
yeah let me sum up my shitty feelings and pour out my heart in a single line of text you faggot

>>34829688
That's not the case really..
I "could" move on.. and ask other girls out. But I've been single since 2008.. I've tried and tried, but nothing has worked.. and I very rarely approach girls..

and finally when I do, either too young, so no, or she's taken, or she's not interested, which is fine.

this girl however, I was ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN with.. like. I don't feel this shit for just anyone, those other girls may have made me feel awkward, but not this depressed.. this shit has lasted since last night..

you see, this is a noise show that only happens a few days every year, and ppl meet up every year. and it's like a gathering of people I have the MOST in common with, in terms of creativity and expression. so it's EXTREMELY rare.. and out of all those people who meet up, maybe 2-3 I really liked, with one of those being my ideal lifelong mate...she was that.

>>34830596
damn dude, thanks for clarifying I see why you feel so close to her now

>>34830625
she was flattered too.. she was rolling a joint, and normally I'm very conservative and don't hang out with stoners or druggies, in fact I avoided going to that show for a year or two because I wanted to get my life straightened out and be more.. i dunno..peaceful? I was more into scripture, even though I ended up fapping like a degenerate again, but I rode by this pub where the show is and said to myself..how am I in any way better or worse than these people? for every leftist sjw, tranny, crossdresser there, I just brushed it off and realized, they're human, like me, and even though I don't identify with them politically, I love noise shows, always have, and so do they, so, in spirit, we all enjoy the same thing. it's like a big family. one really fucked up weird ass family.

anyway, I was looking at her face as she was rolling this joint, and i said, may i ask you a question? (maybe she thought i wanted to smoke with her or some of her weed?) she said sure. But I was so sucked in by the beauty of her face.. that I felt spaghetti coming on. I started a sentence, then stopped..I signaled with my hand up and down on my own face, to let her know I was just -blown away by her face I finally asked her "Why did God make you so beautiful?".. (I really wanna know) she just said "uhh...ahh".. "Are you flattered I asked?", she said yeah, my sphagetti level was so high at this point, I was melting down.. but it felt so good to get it out of my chest. I said to her, God bless you, and that I had to call it a night and leave (this was the last day of the show). And I said to her that she was the last person I wanted to speak to, as in the very last.
said goodbye, felt overwhelmed really. i felt awesome to get it out of my chest, it was like a volcano that dried up and fucking burst all of a sudden.. then I felt depressed...felt like going back and giving her my contact..but by then I thought..she may think it's weird only returned just to do THAT.. and nothing else.

>>34830596
well ...come to think about it, other girls have made me feel depressed, but mostly because I was either ALREADY depressed from an ex, or desperate to move on..

in this case, it's more like, KNOWING I'm compatible, AND attracted.. which is rare.