I am Jesus Christ. This is the second coming. AMA

>>34802857
are traps really actually gay?

>>34802882
Yes my son.

Unless they have a feminine penis, then it's totally straight.

>>34802857
please help me i need all the help jesus i cant see the light

Going to tripfag to make this easier

>>34802907
What troubles you son?

Christian God never does anything. thread is shit.

>>34802857
i just noticed how womanly jesus face is in this picture

give him a shave and you've got a qt

File: 1486229179170.jpg (128KB, 596x641px) Image search: [Google]

128KB, 596x641px

>>34802857
What's our true purpose in life, Lord?

>>34802974
>The father, the son and the holy boipucci.

File: 1486594341086.jpg (27KB, 326x326px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 326x326px

>>34802946
How to cure autism?

File: __flandre_scarlet_touhou_drawn_by_hinami_hinatamizu__4f8f8777b2ee63529ad9e52badea5789.png (711KB, 902x640px) Image search: [Google]

711KB, 902x640px

Which Touhou character would you fug, my lord?

>>34802857
Which Christianity is the right one?

>>34802968
I can only help those that accept me as their lord and saviour.

>>34802981
To break the shackles of Earth and spread out into universe. God loves humans more than any of his other creatures, and wants your kind to live in the mortal coil for ever. This cannot be achieved when you bind yourself to one place in the universe.

File: _touhou_render__wakasagihime_by_touhouuniverse-d6jnd81.png (897KB, 800x950px) Image search: [Google]

897KB, 800x950px

>>34803031
The fish

>>34803003
:^)

>>34803012
You cannot be cured, but you can learn to live with it by accepting yourself for who you are, and by not taking to heart when others mock you (or by punching them in the fucking throat whichever works my dude)

Also, vaccines cause autism. I'm Jesus you can trust me on this

>>34803040
It's all good

Will work be ok next week, will you protect and guide me?

File: download (1).jpg (6KB, 216x144px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 216x144px

>>34802857

Is this some reddit bullshit my dude?

>>34803120
If you accept me as your lord and saviour, then I can guide you through life with the holy spirit.

>>34803130
Nah mate I'm totally Jesus.

You know it's true because I'm Jesus and jesus doesn't lie.

File: vIbYyi.jpg (33KB, 600x624px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 600x624px

>>34803115
Thanks Jesus *Flies away*

>>34802857
Was Mary Magdalene fun in bed?

>>34803115
>It's all good
Fuck no. Not all of it.

>>34803160
answer me Jesus
>>34803031

>>34803213
>Fuck no. Not all of it.
Okay, fine, you're right, those fuckers at the Ethiopian Church are shady as fuck man, don't ever lend them your shit.

Also, Mary pussy mad.

>>34803031
>>34803213

Sakuya, pussy mad.

>>34803287
This is the actual second coming. First off go fuck yourself with your fake and extremely gay roleplay, I wouldn't sound like that to begin. Second off humanity is shit and it's beyond saving unless your reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight. Farewell faggots.

>>34803375
Jesus' mother is already dead, dude

>>34803287
based Jesus good taste

File: 14138821_10207604078087230_5260635556463489113_o~2.jpg (130KB, 826x718px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 826x718px

>>34802857
Hey Satan. If you're gonna pretend to be me you should use my picture. Here you go.

Will i ever get a neet gf J-dog?

File: zodiac_sign__taurus_by_yuhon-d2w2mme.jpg (142KB, 800x566px) Image search: [Google]

142KB, 800x566px

>>34802857
Take me back to the February 2014, please GOD!!! I am cringe atheist but I could change everything if you'll take me back to that year!!!

Also fuck you, I am not looking for the second coming, but for the second Vandea, if you know what I mean.

>>34803684
Sure man. I'll have everything worked out so there is an even number of men and women, and everyone will have a soulmate. You will get to neet on her all day long

File: xdxd.jpg (14KB, 300x213px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 300x213px

I'm killing this thread gtfo Jesus

File: 1485371986425.png (533KB, 861x825px) Image search: [Google]

533KB, 861x825px

>>34803741
thanks J-dog i knew you were real

>>34803375
Gay nigger shush

>>34802857
How long is your cock? Will I go to Heaven?

>>34802857
I'd like to file a complaint.
Your dad filled my house with frogs.
Tell him to cut it out.

File: 1470468234761.jpg (114KB, 445x503px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 445x503px

>>34802857
Our Lord wouldn't frequent such dens of degeneracy. Pretending to be Jesus is a grave sin, OP.
Do the right thing instead and hide all trap, gay and trans threads.

File: logo1.jpg (225KB, 800x1197px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 800x1197px

>>34802857
blow this world up please lord do it now

>>34804224
It is a grave sin, probably, but I don't take much offence to it. My father might feel differently.
Also, I frequent all sorts of degenerate hideouts. Don't tell me what I do or don't do.

>>34803055
Is it okay tobe gay? I can't fight it any longer

>>34804384
If you really love your partner, yes. I don't know what it's like to be gay, so I'm not sure.

>>34804440
What the fuck are you even jesus to gove advices?

>>34802857
When do we finally get saved?

>>34804475
I can't understand idiot speak, but yes, I am Jesus. Lotta antichrists in this thread.

>>34804531
>implying there is more than one anticrist

>>34804513
I suspect when I shoot myself in the mouth. Not certain, though.

>>34804692
There's plenty, man. An antichrist is anyone who says I'm not who I am.

>>34804734
Oh, I was wrong. It's anyone who claims to be me.
Not too sure of myself yet. Still can't get my damn car to run on faith alone.

>>34802857
What took you so long? Why are there still sinners on the planet?

Would you rather fuck your wife or the best, 10/10 pornstar?

Do you approve of waifus?

>>34802857
Apocalypse when?
Are you here to judge yet?

>>34805318
I'm judging already

What is your answer to the JQ?

Rose
Marky
Eliza
Agatha

Rank them, Jesus