What would /r9k/ do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse?

Wait for the government/military to fix it.

i'll continue to fap to traps on the internet from my comfy neethole

capture a qt zombie and drag her to my dungeon

use sharp sticks to stab zombie legs to slow them
then just outwalk them
repeat until their out of Blood and dry and when their muscles are useless kill them

Best friend's BiL has a farm out in the woods. I'd try to get there since I imagine my big city is going to get overrun quickly. Ideally I'll try to loot some canned food and rescue my qt Persian neighbor on the way out.

>>34796997
I'm a paranoid prepper with land, food ammo etc pretty much everything but in this scenario I would try to hold out but most likely succumb to the flu or some shit were all fucked man, if survivors found my stash they would shit gold

>hide out here with machete and bat
>board up windows
>fill sink, bathtub with as much clean water as possible
>wait to see if friend survives- he does have guns
>team up with him if he's still kicking
>otherwise begin sneaking out to garden to get gardening shit
>dad has growlights, there are seeds in here
>frozen and canned food should keep me alive for three or so months
>could probably use bodily and food waste to cultivate bugs to eat
>grow some veggies as well
>filter and drink piss
>wait for zombies to die

>>34796997
>zombie apocalypse
there is the first problem, a bunch of walking flesh bags couldn't beat the armies of the world never mind the amount of people with guns outhere who arent in the armed forces

>>34797231
I would find this guys stash

>>34796997
>Live in downtown Manhattan

I'd just kill myself immediately

>>34796997
If it's winter: Head to the winchester, have a pint, wait a couple of days for the dead to freeze and become immobile and carry on as usual when the army cleans up

If it's summer: Head to the winchester, drink a pint or two and walk back home because all the dead have rotted away already and the army cleaned it up.

>>34797247
i would kill him for his stash

>>34796997
I would be more worried about people than zombies, its so hotndown south they would rot and not even be a threat in RL scenario, best bet is to hold out and fend off hungry humans.

>>34797247
I live out in the country and its possible

>>34797266
It would be a hell of a fight M8, my biggest concern is even with neighbors I don't have enough man power for watching. So a big group and I would be overrun.

>>34797422
set up some noise traps IE. cans on wires low to the group or just at head level in the dark, could give you an early warning and could mean the difference between me killing you and stealing your shit or you shooting me dead.

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>>34797262
>>Live in downtown Manhattan
Brooklyn here, I can see all those poor souls being devour in the subway.

>>34797471
I have a fair amount, to much land for it all but I have cameras around and alarms, dogs and geese

>>34796997
Zombie Apocalypse scenarios like that are fucking dumb

>you can just light jog away
>one armed citizen can kill like 15 before he runs out of ammo
>one cop could kill like 40
>national guard would just clean up whatever minor infection has started in the hobo section of the sewer. That would be it

>>34797545
Not if you live in a country where guns possession isn't permitted.
Also, why is it that zombies always have to be slow? They could be fast as fuck for all we know.

>>34797545
i think the idea is that the disease is airborne and like 90% of people get it to begin with

>just moved to small town
>town is known in area for having lots of qts for some reason
>my apartment is above a store and is easy to defend with only one entrance. I also own an AR-15
>find qts and offer them protection from the zombies and rapist
>eat canned food with qts till that runs out then i guess try and gtfo or somthing

>>34797664
>Helping a woman in a zombie apocalypse
I'm sure you seen some movies where it went horrible wrong

>>34796997
find a car to transfer supplies
steal supplies
move supplies to build a home somewhere remote
build a self sustaining settlement and make it hidden
resume neet

>>34797884
>build a self sustaining settlement and make it hidden
In the movies and shows people always find these

>>34796997
Depends on my current location.

a ) Uni: Probably die. Inner City location and i have to use public transportation to get home. Would try to Form a group with my friends and reach the Flat of one that lives closer to the campus.

b)My flat: I have a bat so i have a a shot against the ocassional zombie or two. It depends if the Phone networks are still working. If i reach my dad i would arrange a point where he picks me up. Then reach that point or die trying.

The problem is i am always located in the inner city so barricading myself is not a possibility. I would consider barricading myself for 1-3 days to sit out the initial panic reaction. People going wild are even more dangerous.

>>34797941
tv isn't accurate

>>34796997
a gang of rednecks would rush your shitty base and kill you on the first day retard

>>34796997
>>34798093

I honestly think that i would know a few days in advance. Otherwise i am pretty fucked. If i reach my dads house i am pretty much set for the first few weeks. Barricading in the basement and afterwards we have some appropriate weapons and transportations. Also his house is located pretty rural for my countries standards.

>>34796997
>What would /r9k/ do in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse?

Shitpost on 4chan.
It worked for 2channers in "I am a Hero".

>>34797545

wrong, most people aren't fit and able to run away from zombies, their mind wouldn't be able to process what is going on before they were bitten and infected

most people wouldn't even be able to shoot at a zombie because they are pussys

you'd have a huge swarming mass of zombies due to the inept and infirm population, all the dumb fucks would be zombies pretty fast

the small percentage of able people, both physically and mentally would be vastly outnumbered

tha'ts what makes the slow zombie thing work, you don't have ammo or time to shoot them in a head, you have to sleep sometime, and when you wake up you are surrounded by 1000s of zombies zeroing into your location because they have a feint sense of where the living is, even if you don't do anything to attract them

Short term: find some guy who is well equipped to survive, and be a raider with him, helping to do stuff like rob people and catch other women for him as thanks.

Long term: find a place to settle more safely, and gather him a harem as thanks.

>Zombie media will never be good because the only interesting parts are the first month or so of the infection
Basically the first 72 hours are the best. Then maybe 2 weeks in when most of humanity is dead and every store has been ransacked. Then the end of the first month when most people have found a decent settlement to hole up in.

>>34797262
Kek me 2. Midtown manhattan

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>>34797534
>wandering through the woods
>world has gone to hell, dead are rising out of the ground
>whole family butchered, managed to leg it innawoods
>scavenged what could from gored campsites, narrowly avoid contact with groups of undead
>near twilight now, see light in far distance, begin to shuffle towards it.
>trip on something, a bunch of cans rattle loudly.
>a flare shoots into the air, illuminating the area
>I hear a distant noise, staccato and high pitched, too different to be the undeads.
>it becomes clearer and louder, a distinct HONK HONK HONK begins to zero in on my position from all sides
>a large swarm of geese wearing combat helmets and bandanas begin to surround me, honking madly in the crimson luminescence
>my ears begin to bleed, and the geese start to slam against my kneeling form, propelling their bodies like feathered cannonballs.
>I manage to scramble away, breaking through their honking perimeter, sprinting away as gunshots begin to echo behind me. Wood splinters to my left and right, but I manage to escape as the honks drown into the distance.
>truly the world is ending.

>>34796997
The majority of this place would Probably freak the hell out and die due to either not being fit to run, or from some other more capable guy shooting them down after being tired of all the whining and crying

I'm weak and pathetic and not physically capable so I offer my bp to anyone who will protect me

>>34799057
Better hit up a prison with escaped inmates

Being homo isn't as acceptable outside than it is in there

go to a boat yard, get a boat, sail around the coast looking for food and water

shit ain't that complicated.

>>34799075
I'm a girl (male) so it's ok

>>34799096
>shit ain't that complicated.

It all depends on how far the nearest boat yard is.

>>34797247
>wanting to shit gold
does that sound pleasant to you?

>>34799246
well i live on the coast and the closest one is 10 minutes away