Accomplishing very little

kek

thats a good one m8

>>34789931
My friends think I'm a "playa" because I occasionally go on dates and sleep with women. They don't realise that I'm doing it so I can forget about my ex.

>>34789931
i taught myself how to make buffalo chicken dip and now i can't stop buying the stuff to make it from where i work and making a dish of it to eat for 2 days straight
>>34791139
fuck off you piece of shit nobody cares this is /r9k/ where virgins are supposed to post not fucking sexfags like you

>>34791173
Yeah m8 good luck finding a virgin on /r9k/ nowadays.

>>34791173
Teach me how to make buffalo chicken dip?

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>>34791185
like what the fuck this place went from virgin threads to just /pol2.0/ where instead of being racist mostly they're misogynistic

I got high distinctions in science on the yearly optional nationwide tests done by some university every year.

My grades for everything not science were shit though so I'm a NEET now.

I can make some wicked tortillas, and spanish food in general. I'm not spanish, and not many people like exotic food around here.

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>>34791218
ingredients, double amounts if you're making for more than yourself
>frank's red hot or any hot sauce you like it should work 1/3 cup
>cream cheese 8oz or 1 block of it normally
>cheddar cheese as much as you want
>canned chicken 1 8-10oz can

>let cream cheese sit out so it softens maybe an hour at most
>preheat oven to 350
>if you have toaster oven you don't gotta preheat
>cube up cream cheese
>toss in bowl
>dump hot sauce on top of cream cheese
>either grab your folding spatula for cake or a fork and start mixing. fork takes longer. i like to take the fork first to mash it up really good then fold it together with spatula
>open can of chicken
>squish out all the liquid with the lid
>dump in a little bit at a time and start folding it in
>dump it in a deep baking pan. I use an 8x8 glass one. and mush it down with the spatula or a spoon or something until it's flat and level.
>cook for 15 min on 350f
>take out of oven and add as much cheddar as you want on top
>cook for another 10
>eat scalding hot

>>34791309
>canned chicken

pukes

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>>34791327
99% of the dip you eat at parties is canned chicken

it looks groadie and smells pungent but the hot sauce tones it down

also i forgot to say make sure you mix it a LOT like until all of the hot sauce liquid is gone and when you mix it you won't see clumps of white cream cheese

>>34791340
>parties

we have a normie on our hands lads

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>>34789931
my comments on shit on this board made top post on r/4chan 4 times.

I can socialize with Normies.

I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH NORMIE MEMES EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE AND I ONLY DO IT BECAUSE THEY GIVE ME FREE WEED.
help

>>34791221
I mean, it's unfair to treat 4chan as the bastion of the loners when places like wizchan exist. They just don't compare to each other.

>>34791359
Same here. I got to the front page once because I posted something on /r9k/, screencapped it and posted it on r/4chan.

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>>34791352
im SORRY i have 1 friend
he invites me to his house sometimes and people will be there with food and alcohol so i'll put up with them to get free drinks and food

but it's too late for me i'm just a normie fucking shit

>>34789931
This fucking reminds me

>14
>Science class
>Everyone packing up, it was the end of the day
>Guy says to me "hey anon, want to try this pepper?"
>Thinking it'll make me cool I tell him fuck yeah
>People gathering around
>He pulls out this packet with a small red pepper inside
>Looks a little shriveled and wrinkly and shit, but I wasn't too worried I liked spicy food
>Little did I know that pepper was Satan's fucking hemorrhoid
>I eat it in one go, it was pretty tiny
>Nottoobad.co.uk
>Kinda spicy, I chewed up a few seeds but it wasn't awful
>Then I hear him say "Oh by the way, that was a Carolina reaper"
>Oh fuck
>ohfuckno.jpg
>I knew of the Reaper but didn't think I'd ever be retarded enough to get tricked into eating one
>I start sweating and beg someone for water
>End up drinking water from one of the class taps in a beaker
>Accidentally smash it in my autism
>Teacher stares right at me but I just run out of the class
>Fucking Armageddon raging in my stomach, it feels light but white hot
>Running out onto the playground towards the school gates
>I need to get home NOW
>Ask a guy I pass for some water
>He's disgusted but he gives it to me
>Drain it faster than my pubescent balls when no one is home
>Burning sensation starts dying down, I think I'll live
>Now for the 2.5 mile walk home
>Everything eventually dies down but I'm still uneasy
>Almost home, walking up this low hill
>Something isn't right
>Stomach feels like it's consuming itself in a supernova of capsaicin and digestive juices
>Think I just need to sit down for a bit
>Sit on a person's lawn for a while, spaced out as fuck
>Feel like my teeth are going to fall out, they're tingling
>This is it
>This is how I die
>Start to pass out, I can't get up
>Hear a woman's voice: "are you alright?"

1/2

>>34791365
hang in there bro. we believe in you.

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>>34789931
Unlike the OP, I can actually spell the word "chili".

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>>34791382
b...but my comments got posted by others and not by myself, anon

>>34791400
Seriously now, you are not even a cyborg if this is all real, you are a normie.

>>34791400
You know, feeling shame from having normal social interactions isn't normal. Feel better?

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>>34791498
i haven't seen him since december
i hang out with him usually once a month but i've been working a job
>>34791501
shut the fuck up

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>>34791421
2/2
>Clearly fucking not
>"No"
>Gets her husband to carry me to the nearest GP, as there is one on the hillside it's pretty fucking convenient
>Sit in there for a bit while I'm feelinf barely lucid
>Ask for my name and school, it turns out the woman that saw me works in admin at our school
>Calls headteacher
>Rat the fuck out of the bitch that gave me the pepper
>I'm laying down on a bed in the GP now, somehow
>Doctor walks in
>Tells me he needs to give me shots on my ass, adrenaline kr whatever
>uw0t.wav
>Want to protest but I can't even remember if I ate the chilli or shoved it up my asshole
>Doc pulls my pants down and pulls me right to the edge of the bed
>Presses up against me and injects something into my asscheek
>Wonder if this is will end up like a daterape
>He leaves for a bit, probably to huff his fingers and masturbate furiously
>I lay there for what seems like a fucking age
>GP calls my mother but she's at work so my aunt comes to stay with me
>Laying there for what seems like a fucking year waiting for them
>Turns out I wasn't improving condition so I need to go in an ambulance to the actual hospital
>At least I'll get away from Dr. Shipman over here
>Aunt arrives, looking worried
>We ride to the hospital and then they just tell me to sit in the A&E and wait
>And wait
>And wait
>After about literally 30 minutes someone tells me I need to go to another wing of the hospital

2/3 apparently

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>>34791553
>At this point I feel better, just hungry, and I want to go home
>Move to the other wing of the hospital where people seem to be dying of Type 3 fucking Ebola
>Everyone just sitting there waiting to see one doctor in the back
>Sit there for 2 hours and wonder what'll happen to me
>I really just wanted to go home
>Aunt brings me some chips but that pepper ripped a hole in my appetite, I'm starving
>Hunger pain takes over actual pain
>Finally my turn to see doctor
>Fuckingfinally.dll
>He just prescribes me Gaviscon and tells me to eat something
>I just go home
>Mother slaps me for being a retard
>mfw

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>tfw you make your super secret custom egg salad recipe and dad says it's really good

>>34791568

and your role as that weird kid was cemented in school for the rest of your time there

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>>34791570
>grow up with mommy
>move in with dad for a little bit
>have to teach myself how to cook cause he barely knows how
>turn into better cook than him
>move back in to mommy's
>cook dindin for the family as much as she does

>>34791553
Richard?

Or else there's another kid who exactly the same experience at exactly the same age.

>>34791570
The secret ingredient is cum?

>>34791635
it's mustard

>>34791340
Why would there be canned chicken in my hummus?

Seriously though even the idea of canned chicken is grim.

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>>34791570
>vegan meme

I have ogre strength, chads used to arm wrestle me to test their strength and lost everytime

>>34791173
>sexfags

I like the term. fucking sexfags

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>>34791221
LOL ANON! don't tell me youre still a virgin bro! the fuck you doin on these forums? xD

>>34791611
Nah not Richard my friend

I begin with a J

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I suggested a minor change to a game dev and they put it into the game.

>>34789931
I smack it to hentai daily and I managed to get a gf for a while
beat that

>friend tells me his club penguin password in elementary school so that i can log in from my computer
>remember the shit out of it
>am grown ass man now
>be like 'why the fuck not' and try to use the password to log into his normiebook
>it works
>same password literally everywhere
>still do it occasionally in order to spy on his personal life

knowing someone who is sorrier than you and having access to that info sure works wonders for one's self-esteem

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>went out and bought groceries without getting an anxiety attack

>>34791421
Op here. Mine was a mix of Carolina Reaper and Trinidad Scorpion but I sure as shit didn't eat a whole one. Hard luck m80 at least you're still with us.

Fun fact: those chilis can be up to 2m on the Scoville scale, which is the same as pepper spray. After 15 miutes, it makes you happy for some reason to do with endorphins so that was nice.

>>34792897
Nice, I got a haircut a few days ago and it went very smoothly for once.

>>34791365
Fuck, anon, are you me?

But I guess Im going to end it soon because im tired of theirs laughs at me and thinking that they are manipulating me by talking almost nonstop, while I just enjoy being stoned and not giving a fuck about what they're saying.

One normie started talking about his hook ups yesterday (he did that cos he knows that im khv at 20) and when he said that one slut gave him a blow job in alley near the club I said "did she really was that desperate?" and that kinda freak him out because he hit me (not hard).