Just attained wizard status today. Kill me

File: 1474759971448.gif (70KB, 500x446px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 500x446px

>>34750542
Happy birthday anon
I'd say things will get better but I don't want to lie

>>34750542
Happy birthday anon-san.
How are your magic powers?

File: 1484434490739.jpg (75KB, 500x725px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 500x725px

>>34750542
Why would you want to die? Your strength of mind far surpasses your average peers, those worshippers of the pleasures of the flesh.

File: image.jpg (289KB, 672x900px) Image search: [Google]

289KB, 672x900px

I'd be your gf OP, but I don't wanna ruin your wizard status.
Happy birthday, anon! Hope it's a good one, or at least better than your previous one was.

explain in detail what type of magical powers you get

>>34750631
So far, all I've been able to conjure is a bunch of smoke. Pretty lame so far.

File: SAVE ME.jpg (78KB, 434x512px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 434x512px

>>34750721
Every path has a beginning, anon-san.
You haven't discovered the true arcane yet.

>>34750709
I have the power to make lemongrass appear as if it is being bent by a gentle breeze at will.
Also I can remove the crease that gets left behind when you leave a book dog-eared for too long, like it never existed.
That and I get extra benefits on my Staff Polisher's Club Card. Unlimited free refills on shaft wax and a kit to repair any minor cracks in the orb or woodwork. Maintaining my Rod is how I got to become a Wizard in the first place, so it only seems right to take extra care of it now.

>>34750721
Don't worry. Your powers will soon start to grow. But beware the succubus! For she will try to tempt you out of your newfound power.

-Archchancellor of the North Atlantic Council of Wizardry

>>34750542
How old is wizard status? Seen a lot of different ages raining from 20 to 50

>>34750827
30 my newfriend

File: pepe.png (288KB, 492x393px) Image search: [Google]

288KB, 492x393px

>>34750542
Sorry anon-kun. And welcome to the club. Remember it is still better than being a cuck, and you can always opt out by paying.

>>34750852
Thank you sir, I will try to attain such a status as you and hopefully become a powerful wizard

>>34750542
Can you cast magic missile?

>>34750542
Where are you at I'll have sex with you if you want serious?

Which school of magic should I go for?

>>34751086
Necromancy my original friend

I'm only 20 but I imagine I'll break long before 30 and sell it to a whore. Your resolve is admirable OP

late bloomer here
once i found my regular escort my quality of life and confidence improved immensely.
>now i've got two hamplanets hungry for my D
babby steps anon, babby steps.

>>34751188
Why would you give away your arcane powers to succubi?

>>34750542
Welcome to the club.
I became a wizard last week, still waiting for the official wizard robe and hat to come in the mail.

>>34751218
because now i know what a vagina feels like.
did i mention the hamplanets are friends and i'm convincing them into a 3some?

>>34751280
>threesome
>with two fatties

Make sure you set a safe word anon before they accidentally crush you

Congratulations! I have a little over a year to go, myself. I've been really giving it some thought as to what school of magic I should study, but I still can't decide.

File: indy-boulder_7492.jpg (149KB, 450x280px) Image search: [Google]

149KB, 450x280px

>>34751297
safeword is: indiana jones

>>34750542
Congrats, anon. Use your powers wisely. See you in the next 30+ thread.

If you're a virgin but have had some sort of minimal sexual contact (Like a HJ/BJ) what happens when you turn 30?

>>34751997
>sexual contact
manual SEX
oral SEX

?Still a virgin?

>>34752152

I wouldn't say that getting a blowjob/handjob makes you a non-virgin. Anal would, though.

>>34751997
I'm sorry, any contact with a succubus drains your mana. You'll never become a wizard.

File: beautiful-anime-phone-wallpaper.jpg (491KB, 1080x1829px) Image search: [Google]

491KB, 1080x1829px

If you became a wizard, sacrafice your life for the idea. If you majored in STEM, try to focus on civilisational progress. The whores won't be attracted to it, but you will die knowing that your life wasn't worthless.