Autism thread

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>>34706805
Kek
>be me in highschool
>really thick mulatto hair
>looks ike an afro because its so thick
>dont cut hair so sides really long
>decide a cool style would be if i brushed the sides forward so my sideburns would be really pointy , spikey lines on the side of my face
>still get called dragon to this day.

>>34706888
dragon is a cool nickname

>>34706805
Holding the gun below the chin is risky exactly because of what that image warns against, put it in your mouth so you can't slip at the last moment and merely open your face

>used to feel really guilty after fapping and watching porn
>used to think being asexual was cool
>told the entire school that I don't get erections
>every time I encounter my HS friends they ask me if I have met a doctor

>>34706888
Check'd.

I always hate stories like that, though, because I feel like a Chad could get away with it, only weirdos get made fun of for it.

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>>34706888
oh wow i never got trips before only quads anyway another hair autism story from the "dragon", i drew a pic as to what it looked like pic related


>going to barbers with my mum
>17 years old at this point so its pretty weird
>ive had comments before about my mum taking me from the barber and it being weird so i tell her ill walk an adequate distance behind her, she can walk past the barber and give me a thumbs up. i walk in and it looks like my mums not taking me, barber has no idea whats going on, i look like im normal
>instead mum shouts OK just outside the barbers line of vision (the wall facing the street was a window) and she obnoxiously waves hand looking like shes having a seizure
>walk in to the barber
>sweating profusely and ask for short on the sides long on top
>he proceeds to fuck my shit up so my head is a inverse small mushroom

Why not just point the muzzle directly in front of your forehead, or even behind the head? I can't imagine that failing too often, and that's how executions are typically.

>>34707070
>707070
Nice get.
I myself have no idea how to communicate with barbers to this day.

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>>34707105
You've never committed suicide before, have you?

>near end of 4th Year at secondary school
>for Americans, I think that would be 10th Grade
>good friend and I get train home every day
>he would always get off one stop before me
>one day brings a friend of his
>short girl in glasses with short blonde hair
>somehow made it through my entire school life without developing a crush on someone until this very moment
>turns out she gets off at my stop so we get to spend a couple of minutes without my friend
>get to know each other a little better, remember awkwardly staring at her though

>summer passes, 5th Year starts
>get moved to a different maths class because always fuck up exams
>crush walks in, this is her maths class
>we're forced to sit in alphabetical order, but also in boy-girl-boy-girl
>luck puts us beside each other, I'm ecstatic
>entire year sitting next to crush
>I'm left handed so we elbow each other a lot
>she asks if I do everything with my left hand
>"Yeah, but there's one or two things I do with my right hand..."
>fucking idiot me decides to make a wank joke this early in
>she doesn't seem to pick up on it
>haunts me rest of year
>she doesn't even come in from Christmas break to the summer exams because she isn't allowed to come to school if she doesn't take her BPD medicine

Sorry if this is a bit long, I tried to leave some shit out but I've avoided girls ever since

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bump please dont let this thread die i like it

>>34707146
heres what the haircut looked like, my shit always gets JUST-ed because my curly hair sucks, its practically black hair even though im 70% european, maybe in another life ill have nice hair. the sides look really weird because wojak has no ears

my pubestache at 17 was something to be admired

>>34707312
BPD is a evil meme anon its a good thing you didn't get with her

>>34707349
Yeah, thinking back on it, I probably lucked out there

>>34707146
>>34707314
Just show the barber a picture. Don't worry if the hairstyle you want is on some stock model chad.

That or just tell them specifics. Like 3 inches on top and you want it 2 inches on the side.

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>>34707312
I didn't realise that was a wanking joke untill you pointed it out. Maybe she just didn't get the joke either.

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>>34707393
my hair looks like this pic i found on google, im accepting that im absolutely fucked. its actual texture is shit and there's nothing you can do with it, its poofy frizzy and ugly so ive given up now, i just have it trimmed and don't bother

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>Make detailed list of productive activities I will do for the day
>Draw, work out, read, etc
>Even what food I'll eat
>Spend the whole day eating shit, masturbating and shitposting
>Today was one of those days again
Holy fuck how do I discipline myself?

>be in high school
>see qt with ear rings
>maybe she'll like me if i had something like that
>grab paper clip
>twist into circular shape
>pierce ear lobes
>bleed allover table
>everyones disgusted
>sent to hospital
>never return back to school

And that's how I became a dropout.

>>34707463
>tfw do this all the time
>finally worked out just now
>bout to clean the place up and read
it feels good as hell man just go ahead and do it right fucking now, just leave this thread and do it.

I fucking came into a futanari onahole 3 times this morning and i still got off my ass and did it

i don't move my arms when i walk. is that bad? my dad used to make fun of me for it and try to get me to change the way i walk...

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>tfw english class grade 10 or something
>had really bad anxiety during this time.
>don't remember how discussion was brought up but teacher asked us what bdsm and s&m meant.
>put up hand thinking bunch of other people would also know
>turns out absolutely nobody else put up thier hand
>teacher asks me but I freeze up and can't say nothing

>>34706941
Jesus christ suicide when? It gives me comfort knowing you will never reproduce

>>34707314
My sides what is going on here I pictured it looked like the tip of a penis

>>34706805
Because you were afraid to claim physical space or seem threatening/challenging.

I dont know you, so i dont know your reasons for doing so.

I know this because i always did the exact opposite, swayed my arms around like some sort of ape with every step. And people usually get the fuck out of my way.

>>34707364
BPD women are absolute disaster avoid at all cost I would rather date a man then BPD woman, they are fun to fuck though but I dated one for a year was terrible man the only way I could manage it was by cheating on her everytime she did some BPD thing

>>34707463
What do you use as a reward? You cant rewire your neural pathways without reward for the "correct"/desired behaviour unless you have godlike will/discipline (which you obviously dont have).

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>>34707639
>a NEET shut in running down the street arms flailing like a windmill with a completely serious expression
>people diving out the way to avoid getting knocked the fuck out

>>34707650
Could be bipolar disorder.

>>34707541
Totally feel ya here anon

in a home ec class we got asked what the ultimate goal of a relationship was. Raised my hand and said sex. Teacher got visibly upset ignored me and then said marriage

Stupid fucking bitch was wrong.

>>34706805
>be about 11 or 12
>thought I'd look cool if I walked everywhere with a limp

Well freshmen year after gym class my gym shorts got stuck on me and I pissed myself so I stayed in the school bathroom until a janitor sent me to the office was pretty terrible. The knot got stuck and I couldnt untie it thats why I pissed myself also note the shorts were 3 sizes to small cuz parents are faggots. And everyone saw me going to the office in piss pants.

>>34707541
Shit my dude thats awkward as hell brings back bad memories of kids shooting spitnballs at me giving science project infront of class.. they would also flick staples at me while the teacher laughed at me

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wwyd if this lovely woman walked into your room naked.

>>34707696
He would have been blacked if someone did something this autistic at my old schools

>>34706805
>be me, 14
>sat in front row of class
>have bad cold, completely congested
>start pulling strings of snot out of my nose and sticking them under the table
>feelsgood
>look up to see my teacher staring down at me in disgust

>>34707701
Yes sir it was

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AUTIST PRIDE WORLDWIDE!

>>34707639
I think it was more about feeling more mature/less "primitive", since I heard it came from when we walked in all fours.

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>today at the gym
>i'm trying to get my life together sue me
>walk over to pull down bar things
>the middle one has the bar that i like already attached so i choose that one
>didn't notice the 2 girls also using that station
>there was nobody using the other 2 stations
>start working it and they both glare at me because i'm eye level with their cooters
>start freaking out
>face is burning with embarrassment
>decide to stare at the ceiling
>finish 1st set and stand up but keep looking at the ceiling
>do this 2 more times because i'm not letting roasties disrupt my workout
>finish and quickly walk away
>realize i forgot to wipe down and head to a roll of paper towels
>accidentally knock over the roll and it starts speeding across the floor
>chase it and almost run into some guy
>try rolling it up it's all messed up now
>just take this huge piece mash it up and put spray on it
>wipe down machine with eyes glued to the floor
>speed walk to the other side of the gym just do core exercises before i leave

>>34707681
It's mostly me seeing other people be good at things and thinking "I wanna do that". Just mostly tired of being a talentless skeleton. But clearly it hasn't been enough to motivate me to do things. I feel like the only way I could bring myself to haul my ass to a gym is if someone beat the shit out of me.

>>34707704
7th grade sex ed its question time and people wrote questions and put them in a box to remane anon, someone asks "how do you have sex with a guy" (all male class) everyone points at me and laughs starts making jokes and the gym teacher "anon we know it was you its just a question" harassed entire year after that becuase I had no gf and didnt talk to girls was called "butt pirate" everyday

>>34707814
That's a man.

Original oregano origami

>>34707696
Nice projection there fampire.
I got into, what to call them, stand offs? With ripped chads before because of it.

If you take the time to actually OBSERVE people and the world around you, you will start noticing a whole lot of patterns and similarities (between us and animals especially).

>people diving out the way to avoid getting knocked the fuck out
Thats the robot style. Keep me proud brobots and dont walk like no back bender, keep that head up high and shoulders swaying. Nobody asked us to be born, but nobody will take our space once we are here either.

>>34707463

Just start hating yourself even more anon

>>34707768
Why didn't you just get a scissors and snip them off what the fuck senpai. I don't even know how this could happen.

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>>34707541
Another embarrassing story from around same time
>always had a fainting problem from things like needles and what and would have a seizure when it happened
>Wouldn't be typical seizure just would get super stiff and what not
>in health class
>it's sex ed
>teacher is talking about c-sections
>like really going into detail
>start feeling faint
>they start moving topic forward
>raise my hand and tell I gotta leave cause feeling faint
>class doesn't say nothing except one dude as im leaving saying "christ I don't even wanna make fun of them"

>>34707814
>>34707942
fucking BTFO tranny

>>34707768
I farted in class and ended up shitting my pants. I know the feels robro.

>>34707912
Mate, your reward is doing the habitual things you wish you were doing? I dont think it works that way if you are just starting to adopt new behaviour/habit.

I mean like, money, drugs, booze, game time, i dont know what you like. Figure something out and use it to reward yourself for following your desired routine.

2 hours on /r9k/ for every hour in the gym, bam.

>>34707934
Were they right are you a little butt pirate that craves cock?

>>34707905

I hope you outlift your autism man that was painful to read

>>34707964
This is actually sort of my motivation. I hate so many people but it's super hypocritical to look down on them when I'm basically scum myself. So I'm trying to improve my life so I can hate and discriminate with no remorse

>>34708109
Why would you wanna hate fellow people that you were once in same position as? Why not try to help them out?

>>34707891
I dont wanna get in some lifestyle/philosophical debate, but you CAN picture in your head how would the "mature", arm move-less man behaved if he met the "primitive" man who is swaying from side to side,right?

he would get the fuck out of his way and later feel emasculated about it or pushed it down his subconscious, but he would still FEEL the slight, because deep down we are still animals You are ROBOT for fucks sake mate, how can you let society poison what you feel and know is the truth with their bullshit bedtime story about etiquette and the "correct" civilized behavior?

>>34706941
I remember pretending I had never gotten an erection ever and getting into an argument with my friends about it when I was twelve

>6th grade school party
>kids get to play songs
>mostly pop/hip hop
>changed it to metallica
>literally killed the party
i thought it was hilarious

>>34708195
You take this pretty seriously, don't you?

>>34708263
That *is* hilarious

>>34708150
nah fuck them they can help themselves out
i ll help someone who wants to change, but people who are unsatisfied with their current situation and totally unwilling to do anything about it should just hurry up and die

>>34707905
Fuck those roasties man, it wasn't even your fault

>>34707814
>lovely
>woman
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>34707312
Same anon here
Thinking about it, autists seem to be drawn to this girl

>maths class also had another friend who was in my class in 1st year
>in 1st year, you would only have one class of pupils for all subjects, instead of the different classes for different subjects at the year of this story
>hadn't talked to him since that year
>he had come up in conversations though, apparently he was a creep
>stood up for him though, he seemed cool when I knew him
>turns out, him and crush have same birthday
>find this out on the day when he refers to crush as his "little sister"
>weirded out by this
>tell original friend from the train about weirdo
>"Yeah, I remember hearing that he had a crush on [girl], so I told him she was a lesbian"
>laugh about it
>friend wasn't joking
>try to supress heartbreak, still foolishly optimistic that maybe, I was the one guy she'd like
>maybe I'd be the one invited to the threesome
>would later find out close friend also had a crush on this girl for a period of time
>crush tells me of things weirdo did
>told her stories of his cousin who was a lesbian but went straight after finding "that perfect guy" (I guess this could happen, a little too coincidental though, but she thought it was 100% bullshit)
>sitting with his head in his arms, sighing loudly right after joking and laughing with his friends outside
>realise I'm kind of living that first point, and sometimes nearly do the second

Don't really know where I'm going with this, and it's mostly about another autist instead of me
Remained cool with weirdo until school ended though, haven't spoke since

>>34708323
Well i like to think about shit and form opinions. I am not interested in media, politics, math or things of that nature (yet?), What interests me is the way humans behave, feel and act like so i guess i take it seriously. Armchair psychologist? I dont know.

>>34707973
I've fainted in public many times from being forced to listen to that shit. Sometimes they don't even notice and just keep talking. Now I leave the room the moment any conversation turns to that stuff, no matter how rude it looks. If they object tell them to eat a dick.

>>34708443
At least you didn't awkwardly end the relationship out of spite like I did with the lesbian girl I had a crush on.

Made her self-loathing even worse since she thought I hated her because she was gay rather than being mad/bitter that things wouldn't work out the way I'd like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YyWDMOD83E

>>34707417
yo just like me
it's some Arab hair, who fucked an Arab in your family ?

>>34708780
And now I just found out she did become straight and ended up marrying some dude who was a complete loser in high school but now has a PhD.

Weird looking at how people change and how little I've changed.

>>34706805
You wanna hear my autism story?

>>34710421
go for it fampai

>>34710421
Sounds like the setup to a bad pun

>>34706941
I remember you from some threads ago

>>34706805
>Used Hoodie everydayfor 3-4 years, so people would think I'm mysterious
>Stopped because someone said it would make me lose all my hair someday

>>34710421
Is it that you started using a trip one day?

>>34706888
Dude that's kind of badass actually.

So much shit as a kid
>Used to wear my socks with the heel bit pulled up my leg and my toes scrunched at the end because I liked the feel of it???
>Played imaginary 'Dr Who' games until I was about 11 years old
>Thought the dinner lady were ugly, told my mother she were mean to me (actually their faces just freaked me out, I was 6), she complained to the school about her and I never saw her again
>Freaked the fuck out at loud noises, e.g. trains, car horns, balloons popping
>Used to sit on the bench and read away from the other kids, the only people who spoke to me were teachers
>Had an obsession with 80s music, was not cool as a 7 year old
>Hid in the bushes when the bell went to end break because I was too scared to see other people. They sent out a search party

>>34708226
>TFW I legitimately didn't get a erection till I was 13 and didnt really know what kids were talking about
Everything about my physical and mental development happened about 4 years late. I only started growing facial hair my senior year. I Get accused of being underaged all the time when chating online.

>>34706888
Fucking sweet, my dude.
I have mulatto hair too, but I just get called velcro-head.

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>>34707541
The same thing happened with me in my grade 12 class except with "scat"

>>34707541
>go to movies with qt 3.14 last month
>we see "Why Him?"
>it's pretty meh not really my thing
>scene where Bryan Cranston is confused as to the meaning of bukakke
>James Franco says it means overwhelmed
>BC: yeah I've got a lot of bukakke going on
>laughing hysterically
>only 2 other people aside from me and date in the theater
>nobody else is laughing
>later in the movie Cranston (and the audience) figures out what bukakke means

I haven't heard from the girl since

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>>34707499
Thats fucking amazing, you madman.
Most underrated post.

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>Tried to be a brony because I thought with such an autistic subculture filled with weirdos, I would be accepted and possibly make some real friends.
>It didn't work.

>>34706805
>be 18
>post on one of those college crush things
>talk about a cute-ish girl who sits behind me in my theatre class
>jokingly ask why she doesnt talk to me and if it is because i dont shower
>everyone responding takes it seriously because i should have known that jokes can't be interpreted online
>tfw i usually didnt shower before class because i used to pull all-nighters, roll out of bed and walk straight to class
>the girl sits behind me the next day
>i hand her the attendance sheet
>i can't see her but she angrily grabs the papers from my hand
>she knew
>fuck

>>34706933

i remember being a young teenager and going with my dad to the hospital to see his friend that had blown his face off with a shotgun in a failed suicide attempt.

>>34706805
I've never been able to swing my arms right when I walk. I always walked with my hands in my pockets to avoid the issue until I was like 15. I thought I had figured it out until about a year ago when a girl told me I don't swing my arms right. That killed me.

>>34713814
just go full stiff armed, it makes you look like a psychopath, niggas who dont swing their arms when they walk can't be trusted

>>34707314
I actually think a curly undercut looks pretty good (if that's what you had, because that's what it looks like).

>>34707314
Im like 70 percent euro and some nig too, the wavy hair fuckin sucks man

Did anybody else wear their socks high but roll them down to ankle level? I did all through high school with the combination of running shoes and cargo shorts

No wonder I never had a girlfriend

>>34713904
I stopped wearing socks because they tore out my ankle hairs all the time, which made my shoes smell like a dog's asshole. I've never met someone else with this problem.

>>34714090
Long socks rip at my leg hairs too

>>34706805
Walk on my toes, I still do it subconsciously. I fucking hate it! I'm a wagey and the girls at work make fun of me for it.
Also
When I was in high school there was a cute girl who asked to copy off of me, I was super beta so I would always let her. One day she asked to add me on myspace so I told her I would give her my info the next day. I am a loser who would sit alone at lunch so of course I had like 2 people added so in an attempt to not seem like a total loser I made a ton of accounts and added myself on them. A couple days after she added me she called me out on it, I lied but she pretty much knew. I fucking hate myself for letting her still copy me, I wish I had known about being "beta". If only I could go back.

>>34714113
Alright, good to know I'm not the only one.

>be me
>6th grade
>no friends
>new kid who rides my bus
>we start to talk to each other cuz he has no friends too
>he invites me to his birthday party
>3 other people come
>we fuck around and open presents and eat Yada Yada
>when it gets dark we say we are going to swim in his pool
>it's cold but whatever
>we all get in and I have to pee
>I piss in the pool with everyone in it
> 2 min later I want to be funny and I say "ok be honest who all has peed in the pool already?" And raise my hand
>everyone looks at me weird and want to get out
>the guys stepbrother follows me around for like 5 mins asking if I really did pee in the pool
>I just ignore him and he stops eventually
>the next day at school he dosent talk to me
>never talked to me again

>>34713904
Shit, you just reminded me. When I was really little (like my mom would still dress me/tie my shoes etc.) she cuffed my socks like that, but just because the ones she bought were way too long for me.

I thought it was the norm, though, so I kept doing it on my own until I was about 12.

>>34706888
>>34707070
>>34707314
>>34707417

you have a really funny story telling skill


>tfw when i imagine a robot stand up comedian doing a stand up routine with robot humor and realize it will never happen

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>>34706888
Rofl
That reminds me of the day I first discovered hair gel when I was 8-9 and I thought pic related would make me look slick as fuck. I went outside and this girl from my class laughed at me ;_;

>>34713395
souce on gif?

>>34714142
>Myspace
What?

>>34715872
Was like Facebook but more customizable and with music

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>>34707070
>mfw I always thought I had schizoid personality disorder
>this is something I could actually see myself doing
Do I have Assburger's?

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>>34706888
you just made me remember that when I was 15-ish I asked the barber to leave my "ear tails" so I could look like Kurama. They only came down to my nose, though, and the rest of my hair was short.

>>34715872
underage and b& my dude

I do plenty of autistic shit, but this happened today and is all I can think about

>work at grocery store
>buying energy drink at customer service
>girl and I talk
>take receipt and walk away
>always say thank you when the cashier is finished
>for some fucking reason I raise the energy drink like a supreme gentleman and say thank you

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>>34717069
>like a supreme gentleman
Pic related, my good sir

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>>34706805
>be me
>in middle school
>watch a lot of anime
>think sitting with my legs crossed will make me look cool.
>also pose like pick related and do the push glasses up with two fingers thing
>also walk around with my arms folded behind my back cause I thought it'd make me look like a cool mastermind character
>openly talk about my plans for world domination
>be edgy atheist
>ask other kids if they believe in god
>call them weak minded morons if they say yes
>naruto run all over the place
>sit alone at lunch

I'm still trying to live this shit down

>thought hawaiian shirts with really detailed images of the beach and sunsets were fuckin cool as fuck
>had a collection of roughly 8 of them and would cycle through them every week
>when I needed to be extra super cool I'd wear them open/unbuttoned

>>34707070
the worst autism was always autism trying not to look autistic.

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>>34717213
like this I mean

originalllllllll

>>34717213
oh man this is bad

This happened last week

> At gym
> doing stationary bike
> didnt realize the cup holders had holes in them
> put phone in cup holder so i dont have to hold it while listening to music
> it falls through
> I start to get off the bike but my foot catches in the sturrup things they have on the pedals
> fall over and completely tip the bike over
> super loud noise, everyone looks, trainers come over to help me


It was pretty bad, luckily I acted like I laughed it off but in reality that event will eat at me for years to come.

>>34717373
people I used to know still make fun of me for it

>>34717338
I'm almost 30 and still have no idea what to do with my hands
I catch myself doing autistic posing (also like Gendo) but I just don't know what to do with them

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>>34706805
>walk around the house with hand on hip as if i'm holding the hilt of a katana

>>34707747
same
>also slightly close one eye to make it look like it got hurt somehow

>>34712752
You understood a joke. Wow such autismo. It's the roasties fault for being such a fuckwad

>>34707905
stay home from now on and never leave the house unless you have to.

>>34717519
Thats pretty autisitc, at least you're not walking around with one

>>34714142
I used to do that. I read some poem in elementary school that told me to "tread lightly, as the deer do," or something and I took it seriously. About a year later I visited a doctor and he told me to stop, so I did.

>>34713758
She knew what?

>>34707417
just fade it dude honestly. There's no such thing as a hair type that doesn't look ok faded. He can thin out the top and fade the sides. I have a roomate with this kind of hair and thats what he does and it looks fine.

>get out of a long term relationship
>crushing on this RA in my dorm
>ive completely forgotten how to flirt from being in a relationship so long
>bring him food and candy all the time to gain hjs attention and favour
>we had a lot in common and got along great, wasnt understanding why nothing was working
>left candy at his door and slipped airheads under it frequently
>get text one day
>"you pay too much attention to me"
>dejected and embarassed
>hes told the whole dorm about what ive done
>get called food fairy for the rest of the semester

Oh god
>be me 16
>sitting in comfy chair in library during lunch because no friends
>being idiot and browsing porn on phone because think no one is in library
>Looking at pic of girl spreading her pussy
>English teacher comes up behind me (thinks I am reading book and was probably excited)
>he is Super old dude who loves me as a student. He was also my favorite teacher
>sees what's on my phone
>gets super quiet
>says "oh!.... well I'll see you in class"
>had to go to his class right after lunch
Really awkward, but he never said anything. Probably thought I was a weirdo from then on tho

>>34706888
t. mythical creature

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>One time there was a girl, and I had a crush on her.
>it was the most embarrassing event of my life!

>One time I got a haircut that wasn't that great
>it was the most embarrassing event of my life!

>One time I bought a drink at a grocery store and I thanked the cashier.
>it was the most embarrassing event of my life!

First time posting on /r9k/. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
These stories NOTHING!

I think your problem is that you don't have any real problems. So you does just fret over nothing all the time.

Social foibles happen. It isn't a big deal. Being able to handle mistakes with grace makes all the difference.

>>34714359
Fuck those faggots lad that was funny

>>34717876
you gotta be autistic to understand our pain

>>34706805
>Be me
>Have an autistic crush on girl for 4 years
>She isn't even that attractive
>autism won't let me get over her
>Have class with her throughout first two years of high school
>We flirt
>think she's into me
>"I'll just ask her out tomorrow"
>Tomorrow never comes
>She loses interest
>Have classes with her for rest of high school and only have small talk with her after year two
>Never do anything
>Still neet virgin
>Regret for life

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>>34706805
>8th grade
>I told people I was Australian
>meanwhile I'm 100% Italian

Idk somehow some classmates believed me, I guess I wanted to sound exotic/cool

>>34717831
Did you at least get an A

>be about 16
>with mates getting a kebab (shitty takeout to you amerinons)
>have really bad stomach pains after eating
>feel like I'm about to have explosive diarrhoea
>take a shit on someone's drive way in front of my friends
>mfw once it was a meme amongst my friend's group, I did it again in broad daylight, on someone else's driveway
>did it multiple times

i was a mean shitting machine

>>34712257
>Thought the dinner lady were ugly, told my mother she were mean to me (actually their faces just freaked me out, I was 6), she complained to the school about her and I never saw her again
kek 10/10

>>34717215
i still do this.
is it weird?

>>34717461
kekek
>origamirigal

>>34707312
BPD as in Bipolar Disorder?

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>home alone
>LARP as a SWAT team member clearing rooms
>make up background plots for it

>>34713904
Like roll into a ball or normal folding/rolling down?

>>34717069
KEK I can't stop laughing

That would make me cringe so fucking hard

is it strange the thought of shooting myself in the head fills me with great relief and relaxation?

>>34717069
On the positive side - atleast you're a good person for saying thank you.

>>34717213
These are the boys I crushed on in middle school

Most of them haven't changed very much

>>34718913
If someone I know hasn't done this, I'm done associating with them
>tfw screaming get on the floor at my dog with pistol fingers
>dog lays down

>>34717831
Honestly I doubt that changed his opinion of you, if he didn't do anything right then.

>>34707070
>17 years old at this point so it's pretty weird.
How exactly? If you're going solely because your mother is nagging you about your hair, then walking in to the store with her is normal.

>tfw you are attractivd but also an autist
>7th grade
>during "recess" a lot of days i hang out with my friends
>at some point this girl starts hanging around us
>me and her reguarly argue with each other over if God exists or not
>my friends just thought it was stupid
>3 years later me and her go out for a month and i get to feel up her boobs and butt

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>be me
>3rd grade
>pretend to have seizures because I thought it would make the girl next to me care or worry about me
>just shake violently for several minutes until I feel tired
>she looks at me like Im retarded
>kept doing it for 3 weeks hoping she'd say something like if I am ok or some shit
>until one day
>start shaking like a complete autist again
>she turns to me looking pissed
>"anon just stop already what the hell is wrong with you"
>stop shaking
>"seriously anon its annoying I can't focus dude"
>"o-ok... Sorry j-jasmine"
>we became good friends after that
>eventually she turned into a roastie
>mfw even my friends saw it
God fuck this world

>>34707747
Fuck, me too. I also used to alternate from my American accent to an attempted Russian accent when I was about twelve.

t. Always chose spetsnaz in CoD

>>34718848

Brap
Posting
Disorder

many anons here have it

>>34707854
>be me, senior in high school
>in english class sitting next to 10/10 qt
>have a cold
>snot literally dripping out of my nose
>we're reading a play in class so I don't wanna get up and get a tissue
>autism comes into play
>wipe snot from my nose onto my hand and wipe it on my jeans
>this goes on for the entire class
>next class people conveniently moved seats so I couldn't sit next to her anymore
>never talk to her again
>next semester she's dating my friend and sits at the same lunch table
>never speak and try not to make eye contact
>she switches english classes so I never see her except for with my friend

>find out later she cheated on him so I probably dodged a bullet

>>34718094
only in india

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>junior year world history class
>talking about world war and plastic surgeries people would get (with slides)
>one of the examples was pic related
>frequently saw rekt threads and gory shit so this shouldn't have bothered me
>get really woozy and nauseous
>ask to go to the bathroom
>speedwalk to the bathroom
>while walking there I black out for a second and speedwalk face first into a doorway
>it was the entrance to another class that was in session
>on the floor with everybody looking at me, a couple people laughing
>teacher tries to help me up
>hurry to the bathroom without saying anything
>stay there for the rest of the class

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>be me, edgy 14 y/o metal fan
>finally save up enough for electric guitar
>be fangay for some rockstar
>read in a magazine that they went like 70 days without washing on tour
>attempt this shit
>I still have acne scars on my face so deep it looks like someone let forrest gump mow my face
to make it even worse is that I unironically wore shit like pic related, except not tall or not obese.

>>34707312
not really that bad

+ she has BPD

>>34712690
hahahahahahahaha

origiano

>>34707905
You just need to chill the fuck out man.

>>34717213
jesus christ are you me
>sitting with legs crossed, still doing it at 20 because it became a habit
>pose like jojo even tho I haven't seen jojo back then
>run around like sonic
>edgy satatnist
>talk about school shooting
>told everyone my hobbies include collecting frogs (kek)
>having no friends is cool
>told everyone I dont get erection because sex is gross

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>>34706805
>be in 5th grade
>older brother shows me the youtube series pure pwnage
>decide I want to be cool like teh pwnerer
>he talks about teh micro
>walk around school moving my hands like he does for like 2 weeks
>Stacy asks me what I'm doing
>"owning noobs"

>>34717069
This really isn't that bad

>>34708263
Confirmed hilarious, I used to do things like that... which explains why I'm here, in part.
I still maintain they were funny.

>>34713814
how do normies do it?
oregonorange

>>34706805
Is this a meme? I never move my arms when I walk.

>>34717069
I do that frequently when I buy a drink. I agonize over having done it for a completely inappropriate amount of time yet find myself unable to stop.
I constantly feel like all of my nerves are curling into a ball of shame.

>>34717215
>>34717266
>>34717484
I have to leave. The shame rushes in.

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>>34706805
>mfw i used to keep my head down and pretend I was balancing my footing on the cracks on the sidewalk
>mfw thats how I walked normally for awhile

>>34719937
>the fucking post

>>34717828
holy fuck lol

oregano

>>34717069
leonardo decaprio style lol

>>34717484
this is 90% the reason why i just wear hoodies all the time when its slightly cold. Just put your hands in your pockets and good to go.

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>get my first job as a fucking bagger
>I'm a nervous wreck most of the time but I try to be fast when bagging things I guess
>one day a couple comes in buying knives
>thought I could be funny
>"H-hey s-so where did y-you hide the body?"
>they look at me like "what the fuck are you talking about"
>point to the knifes
>They go "Oh...haha...yeah.."
>Cashier looks at me like I'm a fucking retard

>yesterday
>in a lab for uni
>last question is a paragraph summary
>qt girl in my group of 3
>she is writing decent amount
>me: " heh, what are you writing a book?"
>her: "yes, this is a book??"
>looks at me like I'm retarded
>get all red faced autistic and leave
>didn't say bye when she said bye to me

Just fucking end my life already.

>>34707070
What's wrong with mum taking me to the hair dressers? I'm 23 and she still does it to this day when I need my yearly haircut.

>>34719101
I pull shit like this with my dog all the time, she knows it's just playing and wags her tail, but my mum always shuts it down with 'that's mean!' or 'she's just a little animal!'

>>34720264
holy kek

orignal

>>34715376
60 minutes

orignirnoasdngoingioanrsgonrae

>>34713758
wait what are "those college crush things"?

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>>34717461
kek,
Should've acted like you're hurt while lying on the floor so you get their sympathy, this way they will see you as a victim and not laugh at your autism.

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>>34707314
bonsoir elliot


>original comment made by me

>>34707681
people like you deserve to be here

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>>34707314
Just get really buff and maybe you'll look like Takamura from Hajime No Ippo

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>>34706805
>mfw i still do this

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>be me 7th grade, no friends
>having orchestra class every tuesday
>play the trumpet
>although it`s not that heavy, carry it on a little hand truck
>waiting for schoolbus, cause its winter and too cold for my bike
>always cover my head with a hood like in assassins creed, think it`s cool
>schoolbus is fucking crowded like every day
>bumped my hand truck into at least five people while entering the bus
>feel the hate rising
>inside the bus me and my hand truck make our way to the middle
>bumping my truck into every single person on the way
>get screamed at and pushed around
>bus arrives at school
>while getting off I bump into evreybody else, get yelled at again and pushed around
>still love playing my trumpet
>looking forward to next tuesday

>>34714359
I'm kekking.

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>>34720273
>>me: " heh, what are you writing a book?"
>>her: "yes, this is a book??"
>>looks at me like I'm retarded

wut

>>34719802
What's wrong with sitting with your legs crossed?