Confess your sins, /r9k/

>>34706602
I've forged french military documents which I'm pretty sure is a crime

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>>34706615
what kind of documents and where would I start if I wanted to forge some french military documents also? What can I use them for?

had my senile grandmother take out a second mortgage on her house and deposit it into my bank account. A close friends has a master's degree and i'm a bit jealous so when he puts me down as a reference I tell the company that he has a drug problem.

I just bought a pizza and a 6 pack and it's 2pm. I haven't eaten since yesterday at lunch. I am going to gorge myself and take melatonin and sleep for as long as my body desires. It's a sin how much I plan to enjoy this.

I stole credit cards from 8 year olds under the guise of half price minecraft accounts.

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>>34706653
It's not as badass as it sounds. My older brother is in the french foreign legion and he was smoking some pot while off duty, accidentally put his blunt or whatever you call pot on top of his military ID card and it got burnt.

He had literally just gotten his new ID and his CO would have given him hell if he found out. So he asked me to photoshop the burnt bits out of his ID so he could print it and hopefully nobody would notice.

It took me a while and I basically had to create an entirely new clean version of the card from scratch and then overlay it on top of the burnt bits and it took me all night, but I fixed it eventually and he didn't get caught

Technically illegal and it makes for a fun story but I don't think anyone would really give a shit

My university has super fast internet and computers. i7 6700 and i5 6500 ones with 8-16 GB RAM and about 500 to 1 TB HDD installed. There are total 15 Labs. I am second year student. I am really good with assembling and disassembling computers. So, using my skills. I've by far stolen 128 GB worth of RAM. 4TB worth of HDD. And, 4 processors during 2 years. Because, of my crimes. Multiple students have been expelled.

>>34707002
why were the other students expelled?

>>34707002
Also, I've downloaded about 120GB worth of anime, porn, hentai and have installed trojan viruses on main servers. Uploaded lolis

>>34706808
That's so weird... I've seen you post this before. On /pol/ maybe?

>>34707030
Because. I've stolen the stuff in such a discreet way that the blame has to shift directly to other students. It wasn't easy. I had to make multiple plans.


E.G:

X student enters lab at Z time
X student leaves lab at Y time
So

I enter lab during X student is taking classes
After X student leaves. I do my stuff

>>34707077
Yes, I was pretending to be some top echelon guy with a source in the legion who had told me that they were planning on deploying to Libya next year

Now my brother did actually tell me that, but it turns out that it was just a rumor that was being circulated in the legion and they're not actually being deployed there

>>34707087
smart. How did you pick which people were going to be victimized?

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>>34707230
It's just basic psychology. If there are 100 variants of a particular thing. People will use which that has slightly better. Even, though there isn't any relative difference. Now, that I've been checking over which student uses which computer and, then computer usage hobbies. As, if you use something for long time. You leave signs. So, what I had to do is steal from a particular system which a certain student uses and has their data on it. Also, teachers are aware which student uses which computer. In that moment I stole it in such a way that the victim is now the culprit.

Anyways, I really regret stealing.

>>34707328
why do you regret it?

Surely you couldn't have done something like that in the first place without being a sociopath

>>34707149
I was posting it in the syria civil war generals, that's probably where you saw it.