would you tell me if my poetry is good or bad, anon?

>>34705480
lmao that poem is shite hahahaha

>>34705501
thank, very constructive that was c:

>>34705480
Edgy

As someone with legitimate writing critique experience I feel that some advice is better than judging your work.

It's bad, corny, edgy, try-hard, and clearly written by a teenager. Do not worry though, just about everyone's poetry goes through this awful phase. Just keep writing and practicing. DO NOT forget to read as much as possible and study the work of accomplished authors and poets.

>>34705533
thanks anon, very usefull (not sarcastic meant)
in my defense, this is my second ever written poem

>>34705480
you're trying way too hard to be /artistic and deep/

>>34705533
>someone with legitimate writing critique
keep telling yourself that bud

It's not that bad. I think your idea was good, but your execution could be better. Specifically, I like the "twist" at the end. It's a good poem because it is short, concise, but still drives home an interesting point that mindfucks you a little bit. I guess my only problem is that I think your vocabulary is a little cringey.

>>34705563
honestly, im just writing down my thoughts as they come to my mind.
i do this throughout the day.
but thanks anon, i will try less hard

>>34705533
How do I allude to nature and shit to my edgy poetry to not make it seem as edgy?

>>34705565
I used to be a TA for a creative writing class. I graded at least 500 submissions. I do have legitimate writing critique experience.

>>34705583
>vocab a bit cringey
yeah, you are right, english is neither my native language, so there's that ^__^''

>>34705599
>Creative writing
>2017

>>34705616
>used to be
>Critical thinking skills
>Reading comprehension

Please stop.

>>34705642
Who are you trying to impress old fart?

>>34705588
I think maybe actually saying the word "hunger" every two lines is the problem. You should allude to hunger throughout the poem. Make it clear that you are talking about hunger, but don't directly just say the word "hunger" over and over.

>>34705673
Actually I changed my mind. Honestly, the more I read the poem, the more I like it.

>>34705673
I'm not OP, I'm just asking how to allude to nature to invoke feels while still retaining my edge.

>>34705707
thanks, op here.
i wanted to make it clear that it was hunger i was referring to, until the last 2 lines
>You don't feel it, until you can't. Anylonger.
>Depression
which is my edgy "twist" as some other anon called it

File: 1435012218685.jpg (171KB, 750x925px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 750x925px

Either this is bait or you're completely fucking delusional. This is literally the worst thing I've ever read.

Maybe English isn't your first language. That's the only other explanation for how anyone with a working theory of mind, anyone not completely fucking autistic could possibly think that this utter shite could be good poetry.