Cringe stories

What kind of nanny state school did you go to that finds butts offensive at 14 years old?

Its reddit tier, I know.

>Take girl out to date
>Bump G Funk rap music
>Makes me cringe that I played that type of music

>KHV
>friend sets me up with his cousin for a school dance
>my father drives to pick her up
>go to the dance, don't dance
>drive her home
>don't even get out of the car like a gentleman
>"see ya later"

this girl was so hot she ended up as a stripper in Vegas. I could have been pounding prime pussy but no, I splerged out and sat in my father's car as she walked away.

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>>34702072
I used to make my mom watch anime with me. She wanted to 'do stuff I liked'. At the time I thought she found them funny but she really didn't.

>>34702324
She should be ashamed for having shit taste and not getting down.

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>be me
>be 14
>get friendly with girl
>one day take her to the park and for some coffee
>just hanging out ya know, friends being friends
>"So anon, is there anyone you're interested in?"
>innocentsmile.virgin
>My brain is set to panic mode because what even are women?
>proceed to pretend I'm gay for 3 years because I was scared of what she'd say if I told her the truth
>mfw for 3 years

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>walk qt blonde (oneitis) back to her room at Uni
>shake her hand instead of hugging/kissing her

>have sex with girl
>say 'happy birthday' straight afterwards


FUCKKKKKKKKKKK LADS

>high school talent show
>girl with bad acne who smelled of cat piss decides to enter
>she's to sing savage garden's break me shake me
>she gets up on stage
>the music starts
>she stands there like a deer in headlights as the music plays
>at the second chorus one of her friends joins her and tries to salvage the performance by singing for her
>cat piss girl still doesnt sing
>song ends, she leaves the hall
>noone ever spoke of it but i still think about it sometimes and cringe

>>34702460
>got to shake a girls hand
>had sex
>absolute player
> still finds things to complain about
you got further than most people here ever will
i think you're gonna be fine

>>34702440
>>34702460
Yall are already way more normie than all of us

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I'll beat all of you in just one blow.

>16
>Have gf, 18
>She has low self esteem and is a bit chubby, still a virgin, likes anime, we talk about it often
>On her birthday she has sleepover, we go out to pub, she gets very drunk, i'm tipsy
>Walk her home in a group of friends
>Get back to her house, keep drinking and playing party games
>Her friends walk downstairs and set up their sleeping arrangements
>We're in her room alone
>She is sloppy drunk at this point
>Start to kiss
>Dick is diamonds
>She doesn't want to lose her virginity yet
>Whispers in my ear that I can put it in her ass
>I do so, dry, with no condom
>She asks me to leave it in and wait because it's painful
>Wait like five minutes in the dark
>She's asleep
>My dick is still in her ass
>What do I do
>If I pull it out or move she'll wake up
>Still lying on top of the covers
>End up lying there the whole night, my dick just lying inside her warm asshole
>Wake up in the morning, she's still asleep, pants down, dick in ass.
>There's two cups of tea on her bedside table
>One of her family knows
>We're spending the day together.
>We're going to dinner together
>I don't know who to avoid all day
>Didn't even get to cum
We broke up pretty soon after.

>>34702361
>I could've been pounding some prime pussy
Mate, no.

>>34702567

>even robots don't accept you

Cyborg feels

>>34702627
>Have gf
>My dick is still in her ass

get out, immediately

>>34702627
>16
>have an 18 yr old gf
>fuck her in the asshole

GUYZ LOOK HOW ROBOT CRINGE I AM

DO I FIT IN YETTT

>>34702621
Was normie. was.

I'm an abnormie now.

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Oh look. It's another thread where normies complain about the times they had sex and had girlfriends. Gee, I feel sooooooo sorry that you guys got to have sex and get girlfriends. It must have been so embarrassing.

>>34702669
>>34702676
Look how mad you are. I pour my heart out and this is what you do. For shame.

>>34702691
I'm not even mad, this place just isn't for you.

my whole life is cringe
i've started to just embrace it. i still come across as a retard but i can sleep so it's ok

>>34702704
I know, I come here from /pol/ sometimes to see what /pol/ lite is up to. It is funny how triggered you get though.

>>34702681
Can you explain further? I'm just curious. How did you throw so much away?

>>34702691
lmao its sad how you need to brag about your sexual experiences to a bunch of virgin in order for you to get off. And when we call you out for it, its just "hehe u mad bro?"

You're not even a chad, just a shitty person

>best friends with a girl in primary school
>we go to different high schools and lose contact
>year later I switch schools and end up at her school
>at lunch I find her and say hello
>both of us stand around in awkward silence
>I say well nice seeing you and hold out my hand
>she doesn't shake my hand and walks away
>never speak to her again despite seeing her everyday at school

>>34702718
>It is funny how triggered you get though

No one is triggered, you're just a fag.

>>34702718
>It is funny how triggered you get though
XD WOAH lol u mad bro?

Get trolled lolz

>these stories

Am I the only virgin on r9k?

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>>34702718
>I come here from /pol/ sometimes
oh boy

>>34702804
You're not. But what's happened is you've clicked on one of the many threads on /r9k/ created by non-virgins for non-virgins. You should avoid these threads like the plague in the future because they attract normalshits.

>>34702806
>>34702795
>>34702784
keep em coming boys. I know you autistic pride keeps you from letting me have the last word.

>be me
>wear khakis to school one day
>flirting with 8/10 qt
>cum pants
>fuck fuck fuck fuck
>hey anon why are your pants wet?
>FUCKFUXKFUCKFUFKFUCK
>Made some stupid excuse that its a stain
>she didnt take the bait
>had to do a project with her a few weeks later

>>34702627
i chuckled thanks 8/10

i would be pleased if you leave now normie piece of shit

>>34702834

ignore the spergs lad, let them indulge in their inferiority contest

>>34702688
One time poopoo wall all over my weenie. I'm white but it looked like melted 3 musketeers.

>Have degenerate diaper fetish
>Spend days looking on fetish websites for Mommy girls
>They only want little hard bodied guys to baby
>Gay guy shows interest
>Go over to his house
>Let him put me in diapers and hold me while we watch cartoons
>Best feelings I've ever felt but just hate that it's with a man
>Continue to meet up with Daddy for several weeks
>Lots of emotional bonding, open up to him in ways I never have before
>Takes care of me, always paying for dinner and buying me gifts
>Let him suck me off sometimes
>Try to suck him once but get grossed out
>He asks if I'd be interested in going all the way
>Tell him I'm not a faggot like him.
>Sends me away and cuts all contact
>Back to being alone with my diaper fetish

Did I do good? Or did I fuck up? This keeps me awake

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>>34702880
nah
oregano desu yo

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>>34702722
Well that innocent girl who was my friend, became a drunken stoner slut and I spiralled into a life of aggression and aversion to women. Because I was pretending to be a fag, my female friends would often come to me for advice, and then they wouldn't follow it and fuck up like usual and similar female things.

I was a loner despite having friends, I felt like I was wearing a mask constantly, but I never had the courage to take it off. I mean my friends weren't "normies" in the regular sense, they were outsiders but more of the "Artsy" and "different" but they really aren't different they just pretended they were and hung out with similar people. I hated them, but I couldn't hang out with anyone else, I hate how they pretended to be hipster and collect things like vinyl but they were shitty vinyls made by modern artists whilst I bought rare coldwave and neofolk vinyls because I was genuinely into that music. They were just fucking posers and I hated them.

>>34702943
So basically you fucked yourself over?

>>34703019
I fucked myself over and then I got a unique perspective and was kind of grateful about it but I steal choked out someone who tried to snog her at a house party and then never spoke to her again. I've tried to flirt with girls before but I just end up becoming their therapist or a shoulder to cry on and never a romantic interest.

>>34703041
>I just end up becoming their therapist or a shoulder to cry on and never a romantic interest.
I feel you man. A lot of the girls I "talk" to just want attention from an ugly guy like me. They don't care about my personality or looks or anything like that. I just dont wanna be lonely anymore

>>34703102
I don't want to be lonely but I can't relate to women, at all. I've never found a woman with the same passion as I have for anything, they're all so fucking fake. "Hehe I'm so alternative I listen to the Smiths" fuck offf BITCH THAT'S ENTRY LEVEL
"Hehe I love animes like yugio and bleach" I BET YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A HAND DRAWN ANIME THAT WASN'T MADE BY GHIBLI YOU MOUTH BREATHER

Women are stupid, women are fucking idiots and I knew a girl into fashion who didn't even understand there was a colour called beige and I had to show her.

Rant aside, I feel like women treat me like some sort of chihuahua when they call me cute or say thanks when I teach them anything, and then leave me like I'm some dog bobbing around in a hand bag, only to be acknowledged when they need me.

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>>34702361

>Be KHV
>Go to the dance, don't dance.

Don't kid yourself. No you couldn't have.
You had the opportunity to spend some time with this woman. Thats all that was. At no point could you have been "pounding prime pussy."

>>34702440
You reminded me of a story

>high school
>fat chick has a crush on me
>asks me out
>tell her I'm gay
>she sets me up with her friend
>date him for 3 weeks and then break up

>>34702676

Jesus christ. Immediately jumping on him for having a gf at 16. Cringe.
You can still be a robot through emotional trauma and not just through neglect. For all we know this guy could have raped and eaten multiple women and lived in a cabin for 10 years starting the day after.

Any mention of breathing the same air as a girl here however and it's Normie get out reeee!

>>34702669

>>34702688

Just because someone had a girlfriend, doesn't make them a normie.

>>34703214

>women are fake

Aye lad. I honestly find it hard to justify why I want a girlfriend beyond having a guarenteed source of vagina

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>>34702902

You did bad. Really bad. Lift weights and expand your options.

>>34703396
I want kids, I want to have two healthy boys and to raise them the way all children should be raised, and that means I need a mother for these children. I also want a companion who shares my passions, who shares the same drive and desire...

Am I, too intelligent to get a gf?

>>34703424

As we live in the west then yes, it would seem that way.

>>34703363
>>34703373

>Just because someone had a girlfriend, doesn't make them a normie

Seriously, fuck off.

>>34703363
>>34703373

The fact that a girl even showed interest in him means that he is somewhat attractive. And socially proficient. But here we see that this girl (who was 2 years older for fucks sake) wanted his dick in her butt. You can't be a robot if you ever experienced something like that. You're just a failed normie who's too retarded to understand what you're wasting. And then you come on here, where all of us are lonely virgins, and then cry about you "cringy" sexual encounter. What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>34702627
Fuck you, you normie!

>>34703457

Give it a rest you fucking mug

>>34703476
What do you gain from roleplaying as a robot online?

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>>34703476
There's no reason for people like you to come here. If you want to feel better about yourself, just do it somewhere else.

>>34703457
>>34703476
>>34703485

ITT: faggots argue over what being a robot means

All of you kill yourselves

>>34702902
Laughed hard at this.
People like you make me sick. Thanks for the laugh though.

>>34703485

What do you gain from being a screeching little melt throwing a tantrum because other people touched a female and you think that's the pinnacle of life?, baka fucking pathetic mate.

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>>34703444
I hate the west, I hate living here, I hate the people who live here. This existence is suffering. And not even a struggle worth overcoming, for all that rests beyond the peak is desolation.

>>34703485
It's amusing to me. I'm normie as shit but I trick you guys into thinking I'm one of you. Shit's great.

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>>34702072
My cringe story would btfo all of yours

>>34703528
The projection in this post is almost unfathomable. Look, you failed as a normie and you're too far gone to be a robot. Why don't you just shitpost on b or something.

>>34703214
it sounds like you just have issues with other people liking the same things as you. try and ease up, like if somebody says they love anime don't go apeshit, just talk to them about it and bond. maybe recommend them some y'know? i usto have the same problem, just chill

>>34703546
Prove it boyo
Original post I promise

>>34702627
hot, i want daddy to dominate me and my non existant gf who ill kill before me and her dad have sex

>>34703541
That's almost sadder than being a robot

>>34703561

>calls me normie
>y-you failed as a normie

>>34703571
I do chill, no one ever listens to or watches what I recommend because I'm a "contrarian" and "You only like it because it's not mainstream" and it's because they really don't care they just what to appear geeky or nerdy, to them it's just background noise to have like Game of Thrones.

>>34702072
That's what you get for trying to be a chad bully.

>>34703597
I never called you a normie, but nice try.

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>>34703597
You realize you're more pathetic than some of the robots on here right?

>>34702902
post pic of daddy
if you dont deliver your mom will dye her hair tonight

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>>34703463
>>34703457

That's what I'm saying. If he was posting this the morning after it would be a cringy attempt at a normie humblebrag.

But there seems to be a mood here akin to SJWs oppression Olympics.
"You're not a real robot cus reasons."

How ridiculous does this sound. Let's take a hypothetical situation.

29 year old deformed and mentally ill guy, with multiple CP offences, and severe agoraphobia. Not a robot cause he went out with some girl when he was 20 for two weeks. Only relationship or sex he had.

Then you. Probably 18/19 years old. "Oh I'm totally a grand wizard robot master cause stacy won't go out with me. Mom get me some tendies."

Robots can be made robots through emotional trauma. Not just neglect.

>act like an autistic crybaby to literally everyone
>WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE ME OR WOMAN WANT TO BE NEAR ME, THIS IS ALL THE NORMIES FAULT

shaking my head

>cute girl in class is bad at math
>chad always help her out
>one day chad is ill
>sit next to her
>'just say if you need some help'
>she looks at me with disgust
>'as if you could help me'
>eh..lol ok im pretty good tho
>she can't solve a problem
>I lean over, really try to solve it but the answer end up being wrong

Her stacy attitude made me nervous. She was to hot for me anyway.

>>34703687
I'm not exactly sure what someone who fucked an 18 year old up at the ass at 16 was expecting on r9k? The story doesn't really fit with the narrative of the board.

>>34703687
But then you wouldn't be a robot. Just a normie who had a chance, but didn't take it. People like you don't realize how foreign it is for someone to genuinely like robots. People who had a real gf, even for a week or so, have at least SOMETHING going for them. Instead of building off of that, these "robots" will just throw it all away, come onto this board, and wallow in pity. And besides, the guy you're talking about is someone who did anal at 16. Probably one of the most chad things ive ever heard, if it is true. You have to try extremely hard to fuck up your life after that.

>>34703720
You tried to help her even after she was a bitch to you. That's self confidence. Kudos to you, man.

>>34703744
Presumably it was the day after part that was supposed to be cringe

>>34703793
>One of her family knows
>Didn't even get to cum

The horror!

>>34703698
>act like an autistic crybaby to literally everyone

>implying robots act like this in real life
>implying this isn't just some place for us to vent about the world around us

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm a complete normie in the real world. The way I act here has nothing to do with how I would talk to a girl. The most robot thing I do is act shy around new people.

>>34703792
>You tried to help her even after she was a bitch to you. That's self confidence. Kudos to you, man.
No that's not having any dignity. This is why you can't get girls to notice you. you pay attention to them even after they tell you to fuck off.

>>34703363
FUCK OF NORMALS OUT OUT OUT REEE

>be me 16
>sissyfag
>think its a good idea to make a craigslist ad
>get loads of replies and pick one guy who is 20 (has a great body)
>get to his house
>a 50 year old fat ass opens the door
>ohshitokay
>I go in anyway because Im insecure and feel like I owe him something and can't lead him on
>end up giving him a long bj
>tried taking my anal virginity but old dick can't get hard
>I can still taste the rancid taste of Oldman dick

Still want to get fucked by an older man though

>>34703860
What the fuck are you even saying? Persistence is always an admirable trait. Of course, dont stalk her or try to talk to her every single day afterwards. But its stupid to walk away from a female just bc she seemed to show a negative emotion.

But according to you, running from girls who are a little bit intimidating preserves MUH DIGNITY. And somehow they notice you more? Damn you're retarded lmao

>>34703827
I know your autism has lead you to believe that only shitting on someone's face is acceptably robot now, but that first part is pretty cringey.

ugh there's this one I've been thinking of the past few days and objectively I know it's not that bad but

>Tenth grade
>Have to do a debate in English
>Topic is like, "is the American flag a symbol of minority oppression" or something like that
>I'm on the yes side which is ok because SJW from the womb to the tomb
>Not ok because public speaking scares the shit out of me
>Go to speak, all nervous
>"The American fag,"
>Fucked up already
>Nerves just make me laugh and I try to joke like "that's me" playing on my gayness etc
>No one laughs

>>34703944
Was this yesterday, anon?
Original post desu

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>>34703944
Now this is what I call cringe

>>34703914
depart from this existence.

>>34703932
>I know your autism has lead you to believe that only shitting on someone's face is acceptably robot now

Your projection still disgusts me.

>>34702495
yeah but i bet she have a lot of sex and friends right now

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>be 14 in art class like you OP
>see a fucking huge canvas of a baby
>"Woaaah, that's scary!"
>Art teacher says: "That's my daughter"
>she takes offense, can't remeber how we got to this but she says "You look scary too, Anon"
>Everyone laughs
Guess it makes sense why I grew up to become so closed off, I have other memories of being publically humiliated for simply expressing myself as a kid

>>34702440

jfc lad

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>>I'm on the yes side which is ok because SJW from the womb to the to the tomb

>>34702072

Can you please draw out buttduck for us?

>be kid
>visit grandma
>happy, playful
>get a 'great' idea
>run into kitchen where grandma is making dinner
>pull out dick and laugh
>she looks chocked
>get scared and run of
>she tells dad who has a 'serious talk' with me
>childhood ruined

>>34704106
Was meant for
>>34703944

Dhhsjchjsijc

>>34702718
>b2redditfaggotnormiescum

>>34703917
Yea she looked at him with disgust, he sperged out.
Legit. Keep that persistence going.

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>>34704109
Something like this I think, remember I put down pretty much work on it.

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>>34702072
>be young
>barely started feeling sexual urges
>don't know anything about sex
>get horny
>start touching myself
>get close to orgasm
>think I need to pee now
>go to bathroom
>sit down to try and pee
>can't
>dick touches toilet
>get aroused by the feeling
>start humping the toilet
>this is how I learned to masturbate

>>34704288
i do the same anon, with my bidet ,masturbation by rubbing is goat you cum in seconds but i believe it gave me death grip, it is almost imposible for me to jerk of with my hand and i dont know if a vagina would work for me either

>10th grade drafting and design class
>done my project, having a halo LAN party
>start talking about suicide and how I'm killing myself.
I had told myself that if I really wanted to die, I wouldn't talk about it. I'm shit at everything
>teacher overhears
>calls counselor
>have to confront my mental illnesses
>lose most of my friends (I had about 4 to begin with)
It's been 3 years since I dropped out and think about dying every day. I can't even do that right

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>>34704288
reminds me of this

>be 9 year old
>always getting dry throbbing erections
>be in school
>see girl I like doing lewd shit
>instantly hard
>start rubbing my thigh against me pener to get it harder
>full on masturbating in class now
>class ends
>have to get up and move
>oh shit.exe
>don't know how to disengage cock yet
>see water bottle I brought
>stick it in my pants to distract from erection
>thought eveyone would think it looked normal for some reason
>walking through halls
>water bottle falls down my pant leg
>lean down to pick it up and erect penis sticks out in my pants
>everyone sees
>a bunch of kids start making fun of me
>get ostracized for the rest of the year

>>34704558
Jesus Anon, do you want to play some vidya?

>>34704633
No. It just makes me sad

>>34704237
what kind of a fucking pussy would be pissed rather than amused by that

>year 7
>hot new science teacher
>made me diamonds
>masturbated my penor while sitting in the middle of the class under the desk
>young chad i knew from rugby shout 'OY ANON ARE YEW WANKIN'

>>34704652
I still love you though. Hope you'll come around another time!

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>>34704237
AHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHAAHAHAH
how could a teacher be pissed off at that instead of laugh at it...

>>34704818
What a faggot. I bet you don't even suck dick

>>34704805
If she wouldn't have been mad about it people might have found it funny but she was kinda old and some were scared of her. It was embarrassing because it was during a phrase when all the guys started acting all cool toward the girls and this labered me as one of the immature, childish boys.

>>34704871
But there are old people with a sense of humor as well. They don't surgically excise it once you reach the age of 50.

Anyway I understand the embarrassment (all too well, I was a fucking sperg in my teens) but in another school, with another teacher or whatever your actions could just as well have gotten you a couple of laughs rather than derision

>>34704100
It was rough

>be 16
>socially awkward fag who gets startled easily
>get out of the shower and open the bathroom door
>brothers friend is right behind the door waiting to take a piss
>get scared and jump like im watching a horror movie
>we stare at each other awkwardly for a good 10 seconds
>he says "hey hows it going"
>i just immediately walk in my room and shut the door
I haven't seen him since this happened thankfully but i bet he told my brother about it.

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>>34702860
why would you ever have cum on your pants?

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>>34705104
>be me
>masturbating
>forgot to take pants off so doing it over pants
>about to cum
>pants still on
>fuck it.gif
>cum in pants
>wait for cum to dry
>pull pants off leg
>wait for stain to fade
>take pants off and start masturbating again

>>34703944
>Not that bad
Don't lie to yourself

>>34704135
>he sperged out
sperging out would be grabbing her tits or asking her out. No wonder you cant get girls. And thats coming from a faggot like me

>be in third grade
>have a friend that shares my love of animals
>after reading Redwall books we start making up our own stories of anthropomorphic animals
>make up a race of albino rats called Albinians
>Albinians cause all sorts of trouble in our stories
>teacher overhears me say something disparaging about Albinians
>get sent to principals office for being a racist towards Albanians

>>34702377
Tfw a little too close to home.