Hey anon!

Sure. That will be $5 + tip.

>>34659814
Whoops! Accidentally slipped and put my penis in your anus heheh.

>>34659814
>what?!?
>I'm just making sure your anus doesn't get cancer

>>34659814
"Only if you do mine. ;P"
it's very hairy

Panic and spread my buttcheeks apart in the sand so that I retain as much as possible in between my cheeks and get on my hands and knees and shake them like maracas and cover her with a light dusting of my anal pixie dust

>>34659814
No.
I can't believe this post is original

No,can't you see i'm busy bulding an epic sandcastle. Be useful and go search for crabs,my kingdom needs some inhabitants.

>>34659814
Her face is very punchable.

>>34659814
Okay little sis.

why the fuck am i on the beach?
original question

>>34659985

Language allows for infinite ways to say one thing. Of course the post isn't original. The structure of the sentence is.

>>34660049
He already knows that.

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"OK, miss."
>As soon as she lays down, I slam my elbow into her back
>Before she can scream, I shove her face in the sand
>As she's too unable to lift her head back up due to her broken back, I lift her legs onto my shoulders and snap them in half
>I then toss her aside, face up so she can breathe but has to live in her pain
>Crying, she asks me, "Why did you do this to me?"
>I smirk a smug grin
"You have no idea what you've done. You think you're superior because you're pretty and popular? No. You are not better than the spiders you ask Chad to squish. I didn't want to just crush your body, though. I wanted to crush your soul. There are so many things I want to do to you, but because I'm a merciful God, I will spare you from such tragedies. Next time, though, I won't go so easy on you."

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>>34659973
Wut

Originalliovgybhh

>>34660153
>psssh, nothing perosnnal kid

>>34659814
shit on my hand and spread it all over her

>>34659814
Sure sweetie pie anything else

>>34659814
>"I can't reach all the way back there!"
I'd ask her how she tied her bikini top

>>34659814

Put sunscreen on my own back and make fun of her for not being as flexible.

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>>34659833
>>34659960
>>34660276
beta males detected

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chad answer
> "aight"
> squirt the sun lotion on her back
> work your way down
> massage her hips
> go back up for underboobs
> work down to her ass
> slip hand in panty and give a little grab
> "done"
> reach around her waist (with your legs forward around her like <<)
> kiss her
> stroke her hair behind her shoulder
> kiss her again
> "nothing personnel, babe"

>>34659814
yeah babe
*jizz on her back*

>>34659814
you can't ask me that because i'm not on the beach, i don't go to beaches, ask to the faggot who take you picture, stop texting me btw.

>>34660894
She'll be finding grains of sand in her vagina for the next 3 months.

>>34659814
"Sure"

*jizz in hand*
*rub it on her back*
*work all the way down to her crack*
*finger her vagoo*

There. You are now my waifu!!

>>34660979
how aquaman was born

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>>34659814
Of course, darling. We will then watch the beautiful sunset while drinking the finest wine. As the night sets we will drive to my home and I shall make sweet love to you all night long.

I might travel alone in the future.

How do I apply sunscreen on my back?
I don't know. Too autistic for human contact.

>>34660041
This. The only time I'm on the beach is during the off-season when it's nicer to walk on. By then, all the normies are away from it and you can do some nice surf fishing without scaring the fish away.

>>34659814
>u-um.. i don't know
>get someone else to do it

I would jokingly act like im cumming sunscreen on her back but in my swim trunks I would be rock hard.

I'd get the suncream then run away with it. The roastie doesn't deserve protection from the sun.

>>34659814

>Normie then says I'm disgusting for trying to touch her

I'll stay far away from that shit.

Sure let me just finish digging my hole

t. autistic german tourist

>>34659814
>what do

Call Chad bc I'm to shy and autistic to touch a girl.

>>34659814
>Excuse me, I'm trying to read
>*flips page

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>>34664764
tfw too intelligent to prevent stacy from getting cancer

>stare at tits without responding until she leaves

>>34660738
Damn you caught me what she didn't bother mention is... she fucked me afterwards

>>34660153
>pour medium strength acid in face
>nobody likes her

>>34660738
this is a 10 for me
wish Google would give me her name

>>34659833
there you go Jorge

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>>34667683
these pics are like 7 years old anon

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>>34660153
9/10 need more katana action

>>34659814
Start doing reality checks because what the fuck am I doing on a beach? I hate the sea.