Who /mental illness/ here? No meme posting please >muh depression

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>>34639866
who eIse /ocd/ here?

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>>34639866
so what's it like being mentally ill?

Schizoaffective disorder chiming in. I'm really hoping I can get off my meds soon. They've had their use, but they're stunting my thoughts and hurting my memory/creativity.

>>34639911
It's hard to describe. I'm medicated so I feel fairly normal, but when I wasn't, life was just a weird ride. You don't realize the weird stuff you do until you're on meds. It's like being sober and reflecting on the nights you spent wasted.

I suppose for other disorders, it's just natural behavior. What people don't understand about mental illnesses is that they are probably biological, but there's also a behavioral component too. A person who keeps pursuing self destructive behavior might be depressed, and the depression IS the fact that the keeps doing self destructive things, coupled with a biological predisposition to whatever causes depression.

>>34639866
havent eaten or talked to anyone in a few days. ironically it's because my parents started yelling at me for not talking to them. i feel terrible because im making them feel like shit, but i really dont want to talk to them after that. just a couple months til i can get out of here though

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>>34639866
Just split my knuckles open on the wall again

feels bad

>>34640060
Why'd you split your knuckles on the wall anon?

When I was frustrated and angry/overwhelmed I'd start hurting myself by hitting my head.

>>34639911
Split personality disporder. I have a trauma and at the same time I live a normal life. In some situations I get back into the same state I was in during the trauma and people tend to react to it very strongly. It is mostly when I get very suprised or feel like im not in controll.

>>34640085
I hit my head too

I'm sick of being myself
My mum doesn't like me, my dad fucked off and left
I can't keep friends because I have turns and I'm not reliable emotionally

I guess it's not much worse than anyone else, I'm just frustrated and lonely

>>34640054
No memes please. Get out.

>>34640155
I advise you seek help, unironically. There is hope for you anon.

>I'm sick of being myself
Is exactly something depressed people say.
There's a light at the end of the tunnel, trust me.

>>34640201
I appreciate your care for people on here

Who do I talk to? I don't want to discuss it with my family

>>34640276
I assume you're a bong. So I googled this

http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/mental-health-services-explained/Pages/accessing%20services.aspx

Ask your doctor for referral for good therapists in your area. He or she will be able to help.

I think you're going to make it, man. I've learned that everyone comes at some point to suffering. You're at that point in your life, but you will grow stronger from enduring this pain.

brehs why is severe depression a meme now

JUST

>>34639866

Don't know if ADD and aspergers count

I say this because my troubles pale in comparison to the shit a bunch of other people on this board suffers from

Autism with psychotic symptoms here

>>34640417
I'll go to a GP soon.

Thank you, anon.
You're a good person.

>>34639866
Meme reatrd reporting in
>Crippling anxiety and emotinal issues

I was traumatized as a child and emotinally stopped maturing at 9.. Used for years to satiate myself. My entire lifr has been addiction fueled. Its pretty gay famalam

Now I am stuck at home re-learning how to be human and not be 9

Feels bad man

>Utter disgrace.jpg

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>was depressed before it was cool
>got better when all the "I am so depressed and want to kill myself amirite guys hahahahaha" shit got popular
>the same people who said I was a faggot and that it's all in my head now think how cool and edgy they are when they make jokes about suicide
>mfw

>>34640440
Fellow ADHD reporting in. People don't understand what it's like. Being ADHD is being a fucking SLAVE to your impulses. Everything passes through your radar of perception, and everything overloads you really quick.

It absolutely belongs in this thread. I know your pain.

i live in a giant native american graveyard and i talk to spirits all day is this normal

>>34640525
You're welcome buddy. Don't wait, don't even think about hesitating. Get on the phone right now and book an appointment with your GP. Just get it out of the way so you won't have to worry about it.

>>34640629
On meth it is

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Depression, Aspergers and Schizophrenia here.

Yeah, it's tons of fun.

>>34639866

Pretty sure I have some degree of depression or something. Bipolar, maybe. Just never feel like doing anything, even when I feel ok; nothing feels too good.

Should I make an appointment with a shrink? I found a woman who is a psychiatrist but also does psychotherapy, biopsychosocial model whatever the fuck

Antisocial personality disorder. Nobody wants to play with me.

>>34640707
She'll want to start you on meds.

Something I've learned about medication and mental health, is that the meds should just be one tool out of many in your arsenal.

Think about that. Maybe try for a therapist instead?

>>34639866
My cat died today, and I didn't feel a thing. I watched my mom cry, but it's like I didn't care at all, even though I loved that cat too. Same thing when my grandma had a stroke last year, the only thing that went through my mind was that I should stay silent and try not to crack a joke.
I should just be fine with it, but I can't help but think something is deeply wrong with me. I've been devoid of emotions for so long I don't even know if I've ever felt one. Maybe when I was a kid, I'm not sure.

Am I broken, guys? Is it chronic depression or something?

>>34640722

Yeah that's what I meant, it sounds like she does therapy with meds as an option. So I'd just tell her that meds would be a last resort. And if she does only do meds+other stuff, then I'd go somewhere else. Not too keen on meds desu from everything I've heard

>>34639866
BPD, bipolar, and anxiety. Fun stuff.

>>34640920
I've had positive experiences with meds. Not the same meds you'll be on, but with meds none the less. Again, consider medication a tool to use, not a crutch to lean on, or a bandaid to fix all.

Therapy has been TREMENDOUSLY helpful for me, in disarming the bullshit psychology I've built for myself.

>>34640985
good to hear seriously, it takes a really good therapist to break through

also mdma doesn't hurt either

also finally a 'real' robot thread
fuck of /soc/, /pol/ and /lbgt/

>>34641076
A good therapist will have you challenging yourself desu.

And yeah, I can't do drugs unfortunately. Issues with psychosis.

>>34640949
Wow, just look at him meme away!

>>34641147
yep, and the only reason i brought up MDMA is because i had the best session ever years ago after finding a roll after a looooooong night, took that shit then went to therapy the next day

old man was like 'this is the best session we've had, you talked about a lot of stuff'

>tfw don't remember a single bit of it
>tfw he just kept smiling like and that still pisses me off, nigger tell me what the fuck i told you REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34639866
>anxiety
>depression
>a meme

made me kek

>>34639891

SSRIs fixed my brain permanently

>>34640638
This chap right here. I saw a therapist and the hardest part (besides looking at the therapists cracking legs and arse) was actually getting up the courage to go

>>34641282
Its just normies talking about it as everyday stuff.
>I feel kinda bad today, dunno why just kinda depressed
>ooooh, I get so anxious in these situations. Hihi, im so silly and shy.

Severe OCD, bipolar type 1 and a paraphilia reporting in. Thanks to 8 years of therapy, a buttliad of medication and a serious desire to get better I've improved beyond description. Went from a homeless, psychotic, alcoholic, violent, antisocial nutjob to being able to hold a good job, live in a nice home and do something with my life. Still go to therapy at least once a week and struggle like a mother fucker though.

Anyone else still ITT with any of the same mental illnesses?

>>34641347
Normie depression = oh I'm a bit sad today

Actual depression = why bother with anything, everything is shit and always will be, I want to kill myself but I'm too much of a pussy. Fucks sake, I can't even do that right. I'll sit here and stare at the wall for 12 hours.

>>34641273
Glad you had such a good session? I've heard that MDMA can be really beneficial, but leave you burned out for awhile after. Either way, it's a non factor for me.

>>34641313
That's what I'm saying. The first step is to just make yourself do something ugly.

>>34641352
Schizoaffective bipolar type. They first diagnosed me with OCD. So...kinda?

>tfw used to stay up for days in a row wandering around abandoned parking lots taking videos of myself to prove I was being followed
>tfw used to think I had thought powers that could kill people
>tfw voices used to be the cause of my intrusive thoughts which would conflict with my thought powers (I.E. someone would tell me to kill my family with my thoughts and then the intrusive thought would come up and then I would start to think by thinking that I was actually doing it)

It was a weird ride desu

Aspergers, I'm pretty sure as of a week ago

I had a fucking rage meltdown today after work
Busy retail environment and all of the socialization stresses me out, I wanna quit but I've been there for 10 years now, enduring it all. Now that I know I'm actually different from normies and know why, I'd like to find a job that doesn't make me have autistic meltdowns from stress.

>>34641415
Schizoaffective depressive type here representing. Only decided to post since someone else posted first.

>>34641415
The intrusive thoughts must have made it a challenge to diagnose you correctly, I'm really glad to hear they figured out what the problem is. Have you ever done exposure therapy? 8 months of it and my very severe intrusive thoughts practically don't phase me anymore.

>>34641413
NEET depression = Can't get a job, no money, virgin, parents disappointed, friends are mostly on internet, social outcast

That is true suffering anon

>>34641501
Fuck stress man. I can't cope with it. Its like it stores up inside my body and make me irritable. Rather just settle for a easy, shitty job for the rest of my life as long as I don't have to deal with stressful enviroments.

>>34641528
We're here anon. They medicated me, and it helped a ton.

>>34641533
Thanks man!

I did not do exposure therapy. I did years of CBT, questioning WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY until I had disarmed the crazy psychological gun pointing at my head.

May I ask what kind of intrusive thoughts you had? Mine always came in the form of voices telling me to kill people/hurt them/myself.

>>34639866
Bipolar, been off my meds for 2 months. Feel absolutely great

>>34641574
I started lactating on the first drug, drooled everywhere on the second, and then the psychiatrist treating me the third time apparently thought I was lying about psychotic symptoms. He gave me Zoloft.

You can imagine how that last one went. I have a DBT workbook my last therapist gave me. Unfortunately, no one in my area is willing to work with my condition except one person who isn't really even a psychologist, they are a case worker. I need to seek out therapy again. I've been getting worse. I've been scared to take medication after 3 horrible incidents.

>>34641693
Yeah, I had a SHIT time on antidepressants too. Thankfully my psych was like "yeah, for people like you, antidepressants usually make things worse."

Dude, ask for Abilify. If you're the schizobro, ask for Abilify. It's helped me tremendously.

>>34641574
CBT did nothing for me but fuck, that's awesome that it did the trick for you.

My intrusive thoughts are about torture, murder and necrophilia. I get auditory and visual hallucinations when I'm very stressed out about me killing/torturing/necroing other people or of creepy HR Giger-esque objects (like a large crane game machine filled with dismembered humans or piles of intestines on my desk). I take antipsychotics to help with the worst of it but it's still there.

>>34641583
How often did you get manic episodes before the meds?

>>34641752
I was on a combination of zoloft + abilify. Never thought about the abilify on its own. Is it still as expensive as it was years ago? It was about 90$ per month with insurance.

Yeah, the Zoloft made me go manic. Started smoking, doing cocaine, and some other pretty dangerous behaviors. I felt like I was on top of the world though. I was mad productive. It was when I tried cocaine that I realized something was really wrong. Told my therapist, needless to say stopped seeing the psychiatrist.

>>34639866
Diagnosed with Schizophrenia

>>34641752
Thirding abilify, as a veteran I get it for free from the VA though so I have no idea how much it costs where you live.

>>34639866
schizophrenic here. it is ruining my life.

>>34639911
you must be really pathetic if you're not mentally ill and you still come here.
but.. what is it like? how is your mood, your motivation, your anxiety level, your social skills and your general competence?

>>34641817
>>34641817
It worked for me.

Hot damn that all sounds horrible. When I get super stressed, I get hallucinations too. I actually used to have pretty steady hallucinations until I went on Abilify.

>>34641830
Sorry mate, I don't know what Abilify costs now a days.

>>34641876
It's an awesome med that's helped me a ton

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>>34639866
on 15mg buspar for anxiety, ran out of prozac, it's waiting at the phamacy but I don't really want it. I don't want anything.

>>34641693
oh god, I was on an antipsychotic that made me lactate in high school and it was the most humiliating side effect I have ever had. If uncontrollable pants-shitting was a side effect, I would choose it over lactating through my shirt in class.

I had issues with auditory and visual hallucinations. Now it's mostly down to word chatter. I mostly block it out, it is weird to explain. They are the easiest to deal with. I hate the negative symptoms like apathy, anhedonia, and some catatonic episodes. Last had me stuck in a weird position repeating the same word over and over, kind of sucked. I have problems speaking because of it. I stay online mostly because I'm a much more fluent at typing then speaking. I kind of suck at speaking, not every day, but some days. I have issues where I am speaking and stop mid sentence to start somewhere else, that annoyed my family the most. Otherwise I don't say as much as I should. I'd like to go without those symptoms.

The reason I need to seek treatment is in the past two years I started self mutilating again, and that's not good at all. I'm too old for this shit. I sometimes feel like others hate me, but I think that's just wrong thoughts. Obviously the strangers on the street don't hate me is what I tell myself.

I fear going to the doctor or talking to a therapist but I think I might be depressed.

>feel so utterly lost all the time I don't even know who I am and what I want
>spend most of my time on the internet 'cause I don't know what else to do
>everything seems too hard or boring
>think everything is useless anyway and life has no meaning
>fear of rejection and low self esteem make me unable to form relationships
>losing my personality to constant worrying and rumination

>>34641960
Oh shit, well, apparently if you continue taking a drug that makes you lactate like that, it will actually give you some weird brain tumor. So, it's bad. Was it Risperdal? They actually only recently realized the lactation would lead to this weird brain cancer.

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>>34641908
you know anon, I think you're trying to imply something

>>34641924
Same dude, abilify has almost completely stopped the hallucinations. The intrusive thoughts are still horrifying but thanks to the exposure therapy I can at least live with them.

Now to take care of the chronic nightmares, bipolar depressive episodes, paraphilia...

>when your psychologist and psychiatrist have to tell you it will take years to properly work through most of your issues
>when they say they might not be able to help with certain things

>>34642096
They told me due to the age of onset (childhood onset) and the length of time I went untreated, that medication may not work. I mostly went in and out of hospitals combined with therapy twice a month.

>>34642081
Are you serious? It was Risperdal.

>>34642093
pls answer my question ;~;

>>34642148
Yeah. The one that had me lactating was Risperdal. You won't end up with brain cancer, apparently people who stayed on it despite the symptom sometimes developed some unique tumor in this gland near the brain, it regulates lactation and hormones and all that jazz.

>>34640949
are you flyingponysomething on skype?

>>34641861
Hugs for anon.

>>34639866
I just got diagnosed with schizophreniform and im pretty sure its gonna be schizophrenia. Anyone else have schizophreniform?

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>>34642148
Content
None
Not too bad
I never go out so I have no idea
Dumb as a sack of bricks

>>34639866
>pretending that mental illnesses aren't mental illnesses

Wew lads.

>>34641908
Lots of love and sympathy going your way as well. I hope I don't go full blown, my last psychotic episode has me worrying. The case worker was speaking about a possibly different diagnoses, and I'm scared because she didn't doubt my paperwork about the schizoaffective depressive type. It's kind of why I stopped going. Unfortunately, I'm kind of failing at life right now.

>>34640629
Too much peyote for this coyote.

>>34642272
Depression and anxiety can come too. I've got nothing against those people.

I've had chronic depersonalisation/derealisation since I was 12 but that's already completely invalidated here because I have a vagina.

>>34642387
Dude, you don't have to post about your nether regions. You could've just left it at the disorder.

>>34639866
ADHDfag here.

Was overmedicated from middle school through highschool.

Am on a reasonable dosage now.

> inb4 ADHD is made up hurrr

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>>34642432
I could have but I'm tired with not being able to communicate with anybody about the disorder without having my problems brushed aside because I'm female, every time, so now I'm trying to take the 'fuck you' approach. I'm tired of living in a dream though. I'm thinking I'm probably going to end up doing the sudoku salsa soon.

>>34639866
schizophrenia, tokophobia, heliophobia (recovering), gender dysphoria

>no, the antipsychotics are not helping with my gender dysphoria.

THE NEIGHBOR'S DOG WON'T STOP BORKING

BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK:
>"FUCKING KILL ME END MY LIFE I WANT TO DIE" HES SCREAMING

BORK BORK BORK BORK BORK B O R K:
>"I WANT TO DIE PLEASE KILL ME RIGHT NOW" HES SHOUTING

BORK BORK BORK SAYS THE SLIMY LITTLE FUCKER

I WANT HIM TO DIE, AND HIS OWNER TOO!

>>34642501
Maybe you should try seeking professional help for your disorders instead of consulting a Cambodian finger painting forum.

>>34642585
Sounds like the dog's the one with the mental disorder m7.

>>34642587
If I were a rational person that's exactly what I should do, but I have a deep mistrust of mental health professionals. Besides that I don't believe anybody can help me. I'm too far gone.

>>34642501
Oh. I don't tell anybody about my disorder. I'm scared to tell anyone. The only times people ever found out, I was treated like some sort of freak. It's why my ex cheated on me. All their friends justified it saying I was a psycho. They went and told everyone instead of just leaving. Apparently it's better to cheat on a psycho then to just maturely leave them. It hurt, my last severe episode had me stuck in a position repeating the same words over and over. My lips were bleeding afterward. Dude thought I wasn't conscious I guess since I couldn't move or respond correctly, and was lambasting me going, "Oh, I guess you've lost your mind. You really have lost it haven't you. You've gone psycho." I think the idiot thought I couldn't hear him so... I can never really see them the same after that, or the cheating.

Please don't do the sudoku salsa.

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>>34642585
I laughed more then I should have. That was unexpected. You got a chuckle out of me anon.

>>34639866

diagnosed with anxiety and depression for 5 years now.


I may be bipolar because I do tend to have moodswings, but i'm not sure if that's because I've been miserable for so long, or if it's because I'm bipolar.

>>34642672
That's part and parcel of why I avoid talking to people about it irl. When people find out they always inevitably end up treating you differently, holding you at arm's length or distancing themselves. That and when you actually put it into words, it breaths life into its reality. When it only exists in your head it's easier to pretend it isn't there at all.

I'm sorry to hear your suffering with your own problems though.
What is it exactly, generalised psychosis?

>>34642656
Nah, you should seek a professional.
>>34642587
Yeah, the only benefit of Zimbabwe reed weaving collectives is being able to speak about something anonymously. It's not really anything that "helps".

Captcha says "road humps ahead", Google is mocking us.

>>34640139
How does it feel like having split personality?
In detail pls

>>34642656
Then don't complain about people not taking you seriously because of your hole. This is literally the worst place to be if you want to avoid that.

Do i have a mental dosorder if i repeat things for hours in my head and make retsrded faces constantly without knowing?

bipolar type 1, i don't give a shit

>>34642721
Nah, schizoaffective depressive type. It's all good though. Everyone's symptoms differ.

I feel bad you depressive and anxiety people got left out. Get in here. OP is a dick, this isn't Twitter.

>>34640874
I mean, you could have depression or something else. I dunno', it's not my place to say. If it's hindering you as far as work, social situations, or school, seek a therapist?

>>34640139
I had this too, my mom had this and I was mentally and physically abused by her when I was a child and grew up to have it. It very rarely happens now though. Only when triggered. What was the trauma that caused yours anon?

>>34642800
I don't think there's any psychologists in this thread. It's no one's place to say if someone has a disorder or not.

>>34642784
Why is my vagina referred to as a hole but the same doesn't apply to the penis when it is effectively a hole encompassed by a meat tube.

>>34642147
Shit dude. One of my best friends suffers from schizophrenia and the onset was years ago- but she underwent some therapy and they found medication and therapy that can help. I hope you find something too.

>>34640604
Imagine being a robot with an ADHD

>>34639891
I'm here lad.
Sometimes I have my hands bleeding from washing them too many times.
The worst is checking if the sink is closed.

>>34640085
>>34640155
Are both of you men? That's self mutilation. Men do self mutilate, they sometimes cut, but in reality...

Self mutilation in men sometimes goes unnoticed since it often takes the form of hitting themselves in the head believe it or not, or hitting objects/walls to the point of bodily injury. It's the same as cutting.

Anyone with schizoid personality disorder here?

>>34642868
Pls elaborate

>>34642953
Because your incessant begging for pity and your shitty attitude renders you as useless as any object in the eyes of men suffering as much or more than you.

You are embarrassing yourself and other women by insisting upon your gender as a source of your problems. Open your fucking eyes and try to see that it's your paranoia and self-persecution that's to blame, not your gender.

/clinical depression/
>it's all in your head bro
>be positive bro
Why

>>34642800
Repeat what?

>>34642387
Is it true that everything appears like 2D? How does depersonalisation affect your visuals?

>>34642953
> tumblr-tier feminist detected

Maybe if you keep it up your victim complex will grow to the point where it can be classified as its own seperate illness.

>>34643152
women will even complain about anime being real life wew

>>34639866
How do I go about improving my poor mental health?

>>34643056
Because moogli py my poogli by

>>34642953
Bologna pony, meat stick, sausage, wiener, schnitzel... In fact, here's a list of 202 nicknames for the male downstairs.

>https://namingschemes.com/Penis_Synonyms

It certainly applies to penises. Do not be daft about this.

>>34642994
I'm a man, yeah ( >>34640155 )

I am a girl with real autism who gets disability for autism but all I have to share are cringe stories

my whole life is cringe

you can probably still relate to a lot of it

>>34643366
I thought I'd mention it since most information about self injury focuses largely on cutting, burning, or picking which is sad.

It's sad because men most commonly hit themselves in the head or beat their fists against objects to the point of splitting their knuckles open or, in the worst cases, actually breaking bone. A lot don't ever hear that this is a form of self mutilation/injury.

I'm fairly certain I have a paranoid personality disorder. I have huge trust issues and in general am unable to approach new people without creating scenarios in my head where I get humiliated, used etc. I think most people look down on me, slight me and I have a very good memory when something like these happen. Only people I can be friendly with are some friends I've known for from ~10 to 15 years.

You need to watch out because you can actually give yourself repeated concussions or even brain injury long term. Stay safe and seek treatment possibly, let a therapist know what you are doing if you feel comfortable seeking treatment.

>>34643404
>I am a girl with real autism who gets disability for autism but all I have to share are cringe stories
Please be my autistic gf.

>>34643430
you gotta take off those shorts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lag1bXylX00

>>34643470
I will fucking fight you for the right to date her. Back the fuck up her contact info is MINE

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>>34639866
Does asperges count or is it standard here?

>>34643514
It counts.

Oreganoblox

>>34643470
you don't understand the logistics human

what if I'm autistic but nobody except my parents think so

what if I just don't believe doctors at this point some have told me I am just surrounded by assholes

then what

>>34642656
Do be aware it could be a symptom of BPD if there wasn't any known trauma in your life. Since you are mentioning suicide, I highly advise seeking a therapist. I mean, posting your a girl on /r9k/, mentioning suicide, and experiencing depersonalization are all symptoms of BPD. You also mention regular reaching out to others with no real reason to.

Otherwise it could be highly neurological.
>>34643028
Anon sounds like a dick, but seeing a psychologist can get to the bottom of why you are experiencing what you do. They can actually help you. Medication if it's a deeper issue, therapy if it is self-persecution from prior trauma.

>>34643404
Do you wash yourself?

>>34643561
>then what
Then you should still be my girlfriend because I want to hear your stories about autism/assholes on a daily basis.

ADD and depression.

Tricyclic antidepressants help. Doctors in Australia are hesitant to prescribe amphetamines but hopefully might get them soon.

Sucks because I feel like a fucking retard when someone is mid conversation with me and I only process the first and last words of the sentences, being left to guess the conversation.

>>34643514
Welcome fellow friend. Come join the train with all us mental fuck ups.

>>34643579
more than most girls from the stories I hear

I clean my body but am sort of a drunk slob otherwise

Schizoaffective taking clozapine here. Feels good to be sane.

>>34643647
Cute. Too bad I don't care about relationships. I wash sometimes

>>34643599
are pillows really that bad

I even go back to them sometimes

without being starved for human affection

they don't have emotional needs

>>34643674
That's the drug that had me drooling everywhere. Sucked because otherwise it worked damn well. Unfortunately there was constant slobber which doesn't make one a functional human being in public.

I'm glad you got something that works for you.

Me but who the fuck cares if I'm sick.
People just don't care. Even my parents don't care about my mental ilness.

>>34643686
relationships are okay but you dont need one if it's ailing you

unless you actually love the person

>>34643404
Do you get lonely? I have autism and I noticed I started needing to get friends and shit more as I got older.

>generalized anxiety disorder
>ADD
>addiction
All diagnosed.

Even though I have 3 disorders I think I got off easy compared to some of the poor folks in here who have far more serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, ocd, bipolar, or dissociation disorder, and others.

I've flirted with the symptoms of OCD in the past, when I would take 3 or 4x my daily dosage of adderall all at once, something I did for weeks on end. My behaviors would become bizarre, and I only realized years later that they mirrored OCD behaviors. For instance I would get stuck in these patterns where I would have to "check" that my front door was locked and deadbolted, even though I consciously knew it was locked. I would run back and forth thru my apartment from my room to the front door for up to two hours non stop, checking the front door over and over.

Those behaviors stopped as soon as I stopped taking absurd doses of adderall. I can't imagine what it's like to experience that kind of life without any respite. My heart goes out to you guys.

>>34643561
If you don't have autism nor any other mental illness, I suppose you don't belong in this thread. Autism is pretty serious.

>>34643709

Yea, I pretty much only drool at night when I sleep.

>>34643696
Yeah they are pretty fucking bad in comparison.

>>34639911
It's Hell. The fuck you think, nigger? People with serious mental illnesses are having a good ol' time?

You want to be normal so bad it hurts every day. Even if you're medicated, following therapy, look normal, act normal, sound normal, and even feel kind of normal, you know it is deep down, always with you and ready to make you into a monster if you slip up on taking a certain dose of chemicals for even two or three days.

>>34643727
I don't believe in romantic love, it doesn't bother me at all

>>34643730
I dont think of it as lonely

I just wish the people around me were relatable in some way to anyone who isn't a sociopath

And this is coming from a certified autist

>>34639866
I have moods that shift violently between happy/sad/angry and last that way for weeks and sometimes months at a time. But I'm aware that it could be physiological since my dad and brother have been diagnosed as bipolar. I choose not to get treatment because I don't want the negative stigma associated with it to follow me around while I try to do my job in the military and after.

>>34643785
What would you want in a friend exactly?

>>34643775
It's as real as the chemicals that cause it

which is as real as you

>>34643756

I guess

Love is good

It's wasted on me

I only admit this to you

Also my comma key is busted

I don't type like this

>>34643722
I care anon.

Strangers will never care, it's a battle that must be won yourself, and with the care of professionals. People often state they care for appearance, but they don't actually want to deal with such things. Parents usually care to the extent they don't want to see their child suffer, but it is a huge scare for them. Outside genetics, enviroment is a huge factor. Parents don't like to accept it because to accept it often makes the parents themselves feel like a failure, like there's something they've done wrong. So, it's not uncommon for parents to accept their child is ill especially if the parents have no mental illness. To do so makes them feel like colossal failures. They feel they failed at raising them, or they experience great frustration they cannot make their child better. Parents don't like to feel powerless or inadequate. It brings up a whole bunch of questions like, "Where did I go wrong? What could I have done better?" That sort of thing.

>>34643825
That's what you believe, not I

>>34643825
>It's as real as the chemicals that cause it
True.

>It's wasted on me
Nice, that's my preference. Do you have Skype?

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>>34643815
I don't want one

Who gives a fuck

>>34643845
to not accept their child is ill*. Fucked that one up.

>>34643860
skype is for keks I use aim

My psychosis was so much fun. Magic is very real guys.
>tfw you accidentally attract God's attention with your magic and meet him and his son in person in the ward
I have so much things to say but I'm terrible at telling stories.

Formally diagnosed with major depressive disorder and schizotypal personality disorder last year. I don't have any of the cool ones.

>>34644115
Oh god, the hospital I was at said the worst fight ever was when two people with the delusion they were Jesus somehow got sent to the hospital on the same day. They got in a knock down drag out fight on which one was the real Jesus. A complete brawl. One of the nurses got their wrist broken trying to stop them, another got a contusion on their face. It took several nurses to break up the fight.

>>34641752
On abilify currently for schizophreniform. Its helped a ton but the insulting voices still wont go away. Some days i want to curl up and cry whenever the voices get really mean

I had risperidone prescribed when I was in rehab but I never took it. Take that, system.

Schizophrenia.

I wish the meds worked.

>>34642672
Why do people hurt us anon?

anyone else in here /body dysmorphic disorder/

>>34639891
Me.
I've been diagnosed with OCD a long time ago, but I won't take any meds. Last doc I went treated my like a lab rat. He gave me all sorts of meds that had awful side effects, not even counting the fact that he humiliated me.
I never want to feel like that again, I'll just live in misery like I'm used to until I die.

>>34643774
Some years ago I used to have a group of """friends""" that used to "romanticize" mental illnesses. I went with the flow and that made me feel special, but some time later I realized how stupid I was. Being mentally ill is not something to be proud of, it's just a pain in the ass and people who fake it to get attention have no clue on what the fuck they're asking for. It's like cancer. No one wants to have cancer.
Nowadays I just keep it to myself.

>>34639866
I have bipolar
And depression with anxiety you stupid frog faggot.

OCD is a bitch and SSRIs suck more than the actual mental illness. They make life so bland I honestly just want to end it.

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>>34640604


I like knowing I'm not alone at least. I feel so overwhelmed, yet not even conscious.

>>34641583
hoping you don't come down hard

bipolar here too. happened to me before. on my pills right now, feel ok, but my mood swings are more frequent these days and its been pretty confusing

>>34639866
I am a Soziopath.

>>34643733
Thanks anon. Its a struggle but im glad we have people like you supporting us

>>34645692
Because society hates us no matter how hard we try to be good people.

>>34646239
My best friend from elementary school had ADHD, was on medication as early as 1st grade. He moved out to Texas. I found out he dropped dead running track at 17 from a heart attack. It made me really sad. When I say died running track, he dropped dead on the track during a race. By the time the paramedics came, he was gone.

>>34646303
Sazonpath?

>>34640437
This. Anyone who makes light of severe depression is a colossal fucking faggot .

>>34642656
I've been to over 30 "Mental health professionals" and they're all fuckin' hopeless.

The only way you'll get out of it is doing your own research. Be your own therapist.

On the bright side, I got neetbux after they couldn't help me.

>>34639866
Autistic disorder and social phobia. They also always try to stick me with some depression bullshit diagnosis, but that's just because they can't fathom anyone not wanting to become a normie

BPD B O I S W E O U T H E R E

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>>34639866

People who are public about having Crohn's Disease are the worst. Once I was at a Yugioh tournament and a guy was like "I gotta go. Crohn's Disease" and I said "Nobody wants to hear about that." He got really mad but didn't do anything.

>>34647075
I don't think that counts for this thread. No, people don't need to hear about it. I mean, it's up to him though if really he wants people to know about his shitting habits.

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>>34639866
I have borderline personality disorder, depersonalization/derealization disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and severe social anxiety.

>>34639891
>>34647023
hi

Anxiety, depression maybe PTSD. Plefty of sleep and a good routine works for me. Ambien for sleeps occasionally.

>>34647157
How did you find out you had it? My friend told me to go to her aunt who is a psychiatrist

>>34647157
>I have borderline personality disorder
are you a girl?

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>>34647210
which one? all through research and therapy mostly. they've all plagued my life and made it very hard(nearly impossible) to function in relationships and work.

>>34647318
Why does anytime BPD gets mentioned someone asks "you a grill"?

>>34647376
The BPD

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>>34647318
no, I think that makes it even more ridiculous and hard for people to deal with kek

>>34647403
You have no idea my friend's gf has this and she is passive aggressive and out of nowhere will bang her head against anything

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>>34647381
it's more common in women and a lot of the behaviors are needy which is kind of feminine I think
>>34647395
>>34647428
my BPD is comorbid with some narcissistic traits and it took a very long time to tear down the defense mechanisms and realize what was so wrong with me. basically suffering loss after loss forced me to do so and after a lot of research and therapy it kind of came out. I've succeeded in behavior modification so the passive aggressive manipulative stuff doesn't really happen anymore. it's hard to be like that when you're fully aware of how it makes others feel, why you do it, and how ineffective it is. the sad part though is that all the behavior modification can't magically make the disorder disappear, so inside you still deal with a chaotic whirlwind of painful emotions all the time.

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Chronically depressed, anxiety disorder, lots of dp/dr symptoms.

Depression makes me want to stop existing but anxiety makes me obsessively terrified of non-existence

>>34647548
Same i went because people told me I acted on self interest and that I had sociopathic tendencies. Also have so much running through my mind that I will often forget to something, and fuck up a situation that the majority of people on this board would kill to have a change at. I also did weird drugs for two years straight.

>>34647664
^do. Fuck I rush writing shit too

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>>34647664
I feel really hateful towards normals to this day, but I don't think it can qualify as antisocial/psychopathy because pyschos feel no empathy for anyone and torture animals and stuff like that. Whereas witnessing suffering(especially child abuse) is very heart breaking to me. I've also always felt much more comfortable around animals than people because animals are pretty much unconditionally nice to me, which is something I lacked from people, especially my parents.