My bf wants me to be his housewife

>>34626407
Gr8 b8 m8, really you did a top tier job

>>34626407
>I'd rather some system of sharing
Explain your reasoning and show your work

I would give my left nut to be a house husband. Fucking females have it so lucky.

>>34626407
Well what can you contribute of value to the household? Your serving job doesn't count, you'd contribute significantly more just staying home

>>34626407
tell him to fuck off how is anything else even an option

I mean, he'll probably break up with you anyway if that's what he really wants his life to be like

>>34626407
Why haven't you sorted this out before entering the relationship?

Oh, you lied to each other because you were eager to become a couple but you were not mature enough to go through with it like decent people.

>>34626460
>implying women won't have better earning potential than men in 2-3 years because of the pushback from the 77 cents to the dollar myth

>>34626433
Well, I work flexibly, my husband does too (i.e. both workplaces are willing to be flexible), and we both earn a good amount- if we both worked part time we'd be able to make more money than a single income household and have a backup if one loses their job.

Up until kids are in the picture we can both work part time anyway.

>>34626460
We both have very comparable salaries.

>>34626484
We did, it's only now we're talking about the long term that he's starting to say "you'll have to quite your job" etc.
>>34626486
>Up until kids are in the picture we can both work part time anyway.
Full not part time.
*

>>34626486
I dont see a problem with this arrangement as long as you're still willing to do wifely/gf-ly stuff (unless you haven't been doing it at all and he's a betacuck who's settled for an unfeminine millennial) like cooking dinner/lunch occasionally and cleaning, etc.

>>34626467
He's the one pushing us forward, in terms of marriage etc. He thinks I want that secretly, despite being very clear that I like work, and want something other than homemaker in life.

>>34626522
>We did
No, you didn't as you said right here:
>only now we're talking about the long term

You talk about those things before entering a relationship and you didn't.

>>34626528
Well, we can share that. I like cooking etc. But I'm not going to wait on him hand and foot. He'd have to share the load of household chores, if we're sharing the actual work part of life.

>>34626500
It's a tough one then. A lot of my colleagues are professor-professor pairs and if I was in that kind of situation with a significant other I could see plainly why she wouldn't want to give up her career. I do think it would be great for children to have a family caregiver for the first few years at least. Any plans for kids?

>>34626543
Long term as in marriage. We worked out the dating long term (we've been together for 5 years) and I assumed that would be the same if we got married. He didn't.

>What do I do?

Chad. You do Chad like all the other whores of your kind.

>>34626550
>we can share that
As long as you meant the household chores (e.g.: not cooking) then this is agreeable

the worst thing a guy can do is marry some fucking unfeminine millennial woman who cares more about pretending to be a man than actually keeping hers happy

>>34626563
Yes, but we could share that. If we both worked part time and coordinated it so we had different days off, there'd always be someone with the kids.

>>34626566
>I assumed that would be the same if we got married.
See? You didn't shit. You don't assume anything about important matters, you talk those things through before becoming official.

>>34626572
>it's another "anon keeps trying to force his shitty values on other people" episode

>>34626572
as far as chores go cooking is one of the better ones

>>34626572
Not cooking? cooking is a household chore though?

I care about an equal division of work. If we're both doing an equal amount of work work, I don't want to be the only one doing the cleaning cooking and childrearing as well. That's like doing two jobs. I don't want to be a 'man' but I want a relationship where things are equitable.

>>34626535
I mean, I'm not omniscient so I don't know the whole situation but I would say it's probably more simple than that. I don't think it has so much to do with you and with what you want, he just has an ideal life he has envisioned and a stay at home mother/housewife is a part of that. It might be a nightmare for him to live his life any other way, regardless of whether or not his dream was realistic to begin with.

But you should talk to him about it bluntly and explain exactly why you can't do that and what you feel like that situation would do to you emotionally. And even if you both don't get to an answer you could probably get him to put it all off for a while and just enjoy the moment or something.

Personally I think that whole thing he wants is pretty antiquated. Regardless of whether or not I want it to be true, millennials really are self-obsessed and I think most people are comfortable with the idea of being independent and not tied down to anything.

Anyway in your case I don't think there's really a compromise.

>>34626577
If you would both be stepping down to part time it honestly sounds like having one of you home full time and the other at work full time would be a much better idea. Not nearly the same advancement opportunities, no benefits (assuming you're american), and you would very likely become estranged from him with a schedule like that

>>34626600
*tips divacup*

>>34626609
>>34626614
You cook, he cleans the pots/pans/dishes. Sounds like a good deal imo, that's how it's worked with the women I dated who weren't unfeminine memelennials

as far as everything else (laundry, mopping, sweeping, vacuuming, bathroom duty, etc.) that shit can be divided up as well but I've noticed that the "keeper" girls I dated were the ones who had no compulsions about doing laundry

>>34626572
>the worst thing a guy can do is marry some fucking unfeminine millennial woman who cares more about pretending to be a man than actually keeping hers happy
Then don't marry one ya nimrod.

>>34626626
It's not that I don't want a committed relationship with kids etc.

I just don't like the idea of being financially beholden to another. Whichever way you look at it, it means they hold all the cards in the marriage, and that seems unstable.

I also want the best for my future children, and that generally now requires a) both parents being around and b) disposable income.

My solution gives this in abundance.

>>34626642
>tips divacup
Boy have I got a story for you

>>34626642
Why can't we take turns cooking and washing? Cooking takes much more time than the dishes. I know he can cook. Like I said, we've been living together for a while, and have an equitable system.

>>34626659
>I just don't like the idea of being financially beholden to another. Whichever way you look at it, it means they hold all the cards in the marriage, and that seems unstable.
there's tradeoffs to both

ultimately pick the one you're most comfortable with - there's plenty of people out there willing to go along with it

>>34626686
Tradeoffs?

>>34626651
>Then don't marry one ya nimrod.
ye
I didnt

>>34626664
>Boy have I got a story for you
bet

>>34626676
My best ex gf (who cooked and baked like a motherfucking fiend) knew I was/am a pretty decent cook too but she usually cooked for me/us

when I'd roll up my sleeves and get into the kitchen, we'd cook/do prepwork side by side so we could make it a couple's/bonding activity since we were faggy and in love like that so just do that if both of you are home when the other is cooking

>>34626407
>what do I do
what did you do before?

Like job wise? what industry are you in?

If you were making much less than he was maybe you should just quit and find a productive hobby.

>>34626702
one person solely dedicated full time to their career can get further, and there's benefits to the kids for having a stay at home parent

of course, that's assuming the relationship doesn't implode or become toxic due to the inevitable imbalance

>>34626714
Why is it unreasonable, if you're not both home, for whoever isn't working to cook? Also, our kitchen is really small. Cooking together just gets annoying.

>>34626736
I'm a level below senior management in a library, my partner works in a university. The salaries are comparable.

>>34626626
>Whichever way you look at it, it means they hold all the cards in the marriage, and that seems unstable.
Not necessarily unstable, most past human history has proven quite the opposite. Its only in modern times that this has changed and since then the rate of failure for the nuclear family has dropped significantly.

>I also want the best for my future children, and that generally now requires a) both parents being around and b) disposable income.
The best future for your children requires stability, having both of you at work and never together around them does not offer that. Purely as a spectator here, it sounds like you don't trust him 100% and are just doing marriage for convenience/because it's expected of you

>>34626742
>Why is it unreasonable, if you're not both home, for whoever isn't working to cook? Also, our kitchen is really small. Cooking together just gets annoying.
JUST FUCKING BE ROMANTIC AND DO IT
REE

He can sit at the dining table and chop shit while you sautee shit or vice versa, get fucking creative and step outside of your comfort zone

>my bf
stopped reading right there.
get out.
honestly, even on an anonymous Khanty tent-weaving forum, women must talk about MY BOYFRIEND and fags must advertise their puckering warty anuses.

>>34626407
>the roastie thinks she's so noble for wanting to get a job herself and neglect her children

Let him dump you retard. He's giving you the chance to have the good life. Sit on your ass all day, get fat, and spend his money at your whim.

>>34626807
>my specific experience will work for everyone
Didn't even work for you, considering you broke up

>>34626794
Most of human history people had no choice but to make marriage work.

I'm saying I wouldn't like to be completely financially dependant on another person. It seems like there's no out if the marriage goes sour, and you end up in poverty.

>The best future for your children requires stability, having both of you at work and never together around them does not offer that.
Weekends exist. If we both work throughout the week, say, 3 days each with one day at daycare (the one where we both work) we're together as a family on the weekend. I am also able to work one day at home, 3 at work, possibly the same with my partner. Then, as the kids grow up, it can change to a little more work from each.

The point is, we're still together with the kids at the weekend, and the children always have someone there.

>>34626827
1.) Non-sequitur
2.) You're implying that our cooking/kitchen habits had any relevance on me breaking up with her (yes not the other way around)

for a roastie who works at a library you sure are pretty fuckin stupid

>>34626818
He doesn't want to. He is the one talking about marriage.
It's not about neglecting kids. If you'd read anything I'd posted since, you'd see that I want an equal division of labour and childrearing, so the kids get both parents.

It's also not the good life. Why would I want to be dependent on someone else for stability? that gives him all the power in the relationship.

>>34626834
Do you live in the US? How would both of you being part time affect your employment benefits like health insurance and pensions and such

>>34626871
No, not American. It's feasable where I am. You guys have like no workers rights. People can't even be fired legally here- only made redundant or fired after a year of performance managing.

>>34626794
Stay at home housewives was rare among the non-rich up until recent times. Of course, men had more power in relationships, but for different reasons.

>>34626861
>it's a great romantic bonding experience
>it didn't improve our romance or bond
pick one, normalfag

>>34626572
>The worst thing a man can do is marry a woman that's a normal human with her own goals and values and cares more about them than about serving her husband and being completely submissive

>>34626958
Pretty much. Women aren't allowed to be humans.

>>34626903
I was referring more to the woman being the primary homemaker in patriarchal societies with a clear sense of moral duty and their successes throughout time. I'm sure having the mother exclusively as an equivalent of a stay at home mother was more reserved for nobility and such

>>34626982
But as a straight male human I can only breed with other humans

>>34627016
Sorry, independant humans. They're only holes to fill and incubate children.

>>34626543
Who the fuck outside of some Indian arranged couple discusses the exact logistics of marriage before they start dating? Sure it might come up in passing early in a relationship but come on

>>34627021
I mean we're all conduits of shit, what's your point?

>>34626451

Yeah. OPs trying to keep her options open. How is she going to be able to get out of the house and find people to cheat on her husband with, without a job as an excuse?

>>34626407
Break up and find someone better suited to what you want out of life.

It's not easy, it's not fun, it'll feel wrong, but it'll be the best choice in the end; take my word for it.

t. someone who was in a position similar to you

>>34627084
Nice try, but both men and women cheat in relationships.

>>34626834
Young children need more family contact than just on the weekend. There's a reason why mothers get extended leave from work after birth, and realistically you would probably have to take a year or two at least off after each birth.

Leaving them alone during that very early period would probably end with them having emotional problems afterwards

Now when they're a bit older it's a different story, but you're delusional if you think that a 100% equal split will work in a relationship with children. Children need their mother during their early childhood, and the father sinply cannot fill that role

File: eJwFwdsNwyAMAMBdGAAHh0fINhZBBDU8hN2vqLv37lXf9ahT3SKTT4Crchrr0ixjUcm6jFGeTLOyTqMBiVC6W-7CYA5zxIh7DBFdsNY7QB9ws9bszu1oPW4RJvVEn8zUa8t69qJ-f-MAJSg.wVgJ3aZwdYa1gEqJhOvs-ZbvuUA.png (210KB, 790x708px) Image search: [Google]

210KB, 790x708px

>>34626486
https://youtu.be/Lnr4NGmDZIA

>>34626863
Then be an stronk independent woman. See what kind of man that lands you.

Protip: he's gonna be a huge fag.

>>34627232
forgot to give context, Stefan gives reasons why a single-income household with the woman being the housewife is better in the long-term than two people working. Especially with children.

File: 1470110605597.png (48KB, 400x389px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 400x389px

>>34626431
Yes, the unwillingness to marry is a trend in society most prominent among Millennials. This likely touches a nerve on /r9k/, where the decline of women's moral fortitude and the deliberate erasure of traditional gender roles by liberal lobbyists is often bemoaned. This is quite well-thought out and targeted bait.

Fantastic job OP, keep generating "dialogue" and "discussion" with your no-doubt ceaseless shitposting.

>>34627097
Sure, but for very different reasons.

>>34627268
OP never said they don't want to marry though??? Try better sperg

>>34627268
I don't think OP is trolling. Why would women being non-committal trigger men when men are the ones who get fucked over in bad marriages anyway?

She's actually sitting here saying that she's willing to marry the guy and have kids, she just doesn't want to resign to being a homemaker.

>>34627295
Then what does she want? To work and leave the kids at daycare all day? If they break up she'll get the kids and half the dude's shit anyway.

>>34627313
Did you even read any of the thread you fucking retard

>>34627288
>???
Please head back to tumblr.

>>34626407
I just want you to know that many families with 2 incomes end up paying just as much or more than what one parent makes in childcare costs. I will never understand the desire to work so you can pay someone else to raise your kids

>>34627323
>using question marks to express confusion = tumblr
Please head back to your handler, tard

File: 1485563234703.jpg (69KB, 540x540px)

69KB, 540x540px

>>34626407
1. Don't marry a fucking musilm
2. When you'll have kids, take care of them instead of giving their education to a stranger (aka. Babysitter)
3. You either agree with him, or you'll have to find a new bf. He already has plans for the future.

>>34627354
Like I said in my earlier posts railing on millennials, it is selfishness. I don't think OP should go through with it because it seems to me like she is more concerned with her freedom and with her identity as a contributor than she is about the prospect of a healthy and functioning family.

>>34627188
Well, you wouldn't in the early period. Like I said, someone would always be home.

I'm going to need a citation on why it has to specifically be the mother at all times, and not the father.

>>34626407
Wonderful, you don't have to work. Just do the stuff you like. He is waifu material.

>>34627316
Sure did, and all she's done is bitch. Wah wah, my husband wants to pay for everything while I relax at home, fuck the patriarchy

>>34627255
Trusting an ancap?

>>34627403
I said I wanted to have an EQUAL division of labour.

I don't want to be dependent on someone completely and utterly, and that I do want marriage at some point.

>>34627403
>wanting to remain independent and have a life outside of housework and pumping out kids = bitching
Typical r9k retard logic

>>34627376
It's not about selfishness or identity. It's about wanting something good to model to kids, and having fall back options for if one person loses their job, or if the relationship goes south.
'
I was raised in a family like this, and it was very happy and functional.

File: 1484700387496.jpg (233KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 1200x800px

>>34627439
You can either

A. Both work min wage jobs and divide chores and be miserable.

or B. be his maid/cook/ball drainer and allow him to work 50--60 hours a week to move up the ladder and get more income than your two shitty McJobs put together.

>>34627392
I like work and, as I mentioned NUMEROUS times, I like the security of having two incomes, which means we can have backup if something goes wrong.

>>34627439
>an equal division of labor
You mean he works all day, and then comes home and does housework?

You're not gonna find two parttime jobs that will accommodate your unique situation while also providing a liveable income. Neither will he be able to advance his career for the wellbeing of your family if he's only able to work part time.

And you won't be completely dependent on shit. If you live in any Western country, you can divorce him at any time for no reason whatsoever and get off with the kids and half his shit, plus a monthly payment from him.

>>34627475
or C) We both have high paying jobs that are willing to be flexible.

>>34627485
Except she's said they both already have jobs that will accommodate it? Do you retards have any reading comprehension?

>>34627492
So, you're both prostitutes?

>>34627454
Oh please, bitch. Tell me, what does your ideal life look like? A strong, alpha male who works to pay the bills all day, then comes home and folds laundry and washes dishes while you work part time as a server flirting with the patrons for extra tips?

>>34627503
t. bitter retard that didn't read the thread/comprehend any of it

>>34627495
Can you read, cunt? I guarantee she'll want some sort of advancement in her station in life, especially if her friends are moving up the socioeconomic ladder. And neither her or her boyfriend will be gaining much ground or earning promotions working part time. It's fucked, it ain't fair, but that's the way it is.

>>34627492
>high paying
>allowing part-time employment

pick one

>>34627485
We HAVE you moron. Did you read anything in the thread?

We're not American and we don't have your retarded lack of workers rights.

We have two jobs that are willing to accomidate a) negotiable hours and b) working at hime.

We ALSO live in a western country where whichever partner has more money is only obligated to pay 'spouse maintenance' to the other for a maximum of a year after a breakup.

Not everywhere is America- we don't have this retarded alimony bullshit.

>>34627514
Yes, she has some fairytale idea in her head that's been put there by degenerate modern media and she's gonna hold it against her boyfriend when he can't make it work for her.

>>34627528
Oh, then nobody cares because non-americans literally don't matter.

Just say no or kick him to the curb.

>>34627518
It's just flexible. My god, why is that so hard.

My employer is highly generous in it's EBA, and a lot of what my boyfriend does can be done from anywhere with internet- such as admin. He only has to go in to actually give the lectures.

>>34627528
And as your friends continue growing their material wealth and going on vacations, moving into bigger houses and whatnot, you're not gonna have any issue whatsoever if you and your boyfriend stay EXACTLY where you are now for the next 18 years?

>>34626834
It honestly seems kind of fucked to me to commit to marriage, one of the biggest commitments of life, with a back-up plan in case it doesn't work out. I mean I get the statistics on divorce, but this type of reasoning might be the cause of the statistics.

>>34627541
>wanting to live like a human being = fairytale
b i t t e r r e t a r d

>>34627541
It's sounds like men are living a fairy tale, tbqh fampai

>>34627548
You do realise America is a huge joke to the rest of the world? Basically a toddler in a perpetual tantrum.

>>34627567
>wanting to live like a human being
You mean where the men provided for the families and protected them against any threats and the women stayed at home and raised the children?

>>34627584
>le donald drumpf clown he's a joke xD

You sound like the typical uneducated European.

I mean, typical European, since you're all uneducated.

>>34627565
We're pretty high up at the moment. I also own a house, and so does he. If we pooled resources, we'd be able to get an even bigger house, or we could just live in one and rent the other.

>>34627583
What fairytale is that? Having a loyal wife that's happy to be with you and to raise children without having to worry about the harsh realities of life? Yeah, that does seem to be a fairy tale.

>>34627597
>life has one set path with predetermined roles
anon truly was an idiot

>>34627606
Again, you'd be fine staying EXACTLY where you are now for the next 18 years? And not even that, you're gonna be worse off once you have kids because those fuckers are expensive. There will be no advancement whatsoever in your respective careers if you're both working part time.

>>34627604
Not just Trump. Literally every demographic is a stereotype. SJWs, rednecks, evangelicals, alt right mass shooter kids, your politicians, your buisness people, everything.

And, most European kids get one of the best educations in the world, without paying through the nose.

>>34627611
Did I say that, dumbass? Have you ever met a happy family where the woman worked her ass off and the man folded laundry and washed dishes all day?

How long do those relationships ask? And unfortunately this probably needs to be said, how long do those relationships last WITHOUT becoming open relationships?

>>34627618
As the kids age we can work more and more.

Like I said, I watched my parents do it-and they were able to buy several houses.

>>34627461
You could also model your values to your kids by truly always being there for them when they need you (when they're young) and being the one to actually raise them. They're not going to care about how good of an example you set if you're emotionally distant. And you likely will be if you only really spend time with them on the weekends.

>>34627641
If you're so sure of what you want to do and you're gonna be hostile towards any dissenting opinions, then why the fuck did you bother making this thread?

>>34627608
Are the things your looking for things that modern society values? No? Cute fairy tale dad.

>>34627640
Yes, that's pretty much what you said.
And that's not at all the case here, genius. Both parties would do equal work and housework

>>34627643
I won't spend time with them on the weekends. I will work part time. Same with partner, we both see them individually in the week and after work, and someone is ALWAYS home. We are completely together after work and on weekends.

>>34627584
With the highest GDP and hands down best media

Too bad you aren't us, if I were you I would be salty too.

>>34627661
>>34627663
How's smashing the patriarchy going for you guys? If some rough bastard attacked you and your boyfriend on the street, do you think he could keep you safe?

>>34627660
Because I don't know what to do about my partner wanting to marry and not being open to anything else aside from his 'traditional' views.

>>34627676
Best media? CNN and fox news? Barely anyone from other western countries actually wants to move there.

>>34627682
How's crying about roastie whores going for you? When you hang yourself, how many people do you think are going to attend your funeral (assuming your family gives a shit enough to hold a proper one)?

>>34627691
So you're looking for opinions to reinforce yours, which is to ignore your boyfriend's opinions and preferences, marry him anyway, and force him to accommodate your views. Am I onto something here?'

>>34627718
Believe it or not, I'm doing just fine with women, and after drinking some tonight I decided to see how my old hangout /r9k/ was doing. Used to come here years ago, but a lot's changed since then. And what do I see but feminist cunts shitting the place up. I thought the whiny fucking virgins were bad enough, but you fucks are worse.

I'll ask again - If some rough bastard attacked you and your boyfriend on the street, do you think he could keep you safe? Or would you both just cry about it?

>>34627720
No, it's not that. I just wanted to ask people that tend to feel similarly if they'd ever be flexible around it.

I'm the one being ambivalent about marriage, not him.

I know his preferences, and respect them, but there's no compromise to be reached as they're completely opposed to one another.

>>34627747
>wanting to be independent = feminist
le very ebin, reddit

Look, everyone.

I came here because I figured most people on this board thought the same.

I just want to know- is there any room for flexibility in a traditionalist conservative mindset? Or should we just break up? Save ourselves the trouble of divorcing later?

I don't feel I can resign myself to being a housewife, ever, and his view is very black and white. Mine is based upon individual discussions and figuring things out more complexly.

And, to be completely clear, he is the one wanting to marry and talking about it the most. Not me. I'm not trying to trap him, and our system does not have American alimony traps either.

>>34627674
Oh yes, after work, when you both get home to cook and clean. After a long day of working, when you get home only to work more, do you think you'll still have the energy to spend meaningful time with your kids? It sounds like it will be especially good in their early years, when you'll wake up every two hours during your much needed time to sleep. That sounds like a terrific life.

>>34627674
And weren't you talking earlier about needing daycare? Why would you need daycare if someone was always home?

>>34627753
If you don't wanna get married and be a good wife to him then don't. It's better you let him find some girl he can have the relationship he wants with than force him to compromise so you're both unhappy.

>>34627783
>reddit
Fuck off, that's probably where you came from. Femanons are fucked in the head, I've dated enough of them to know that.

Third time, let's see if you catch it - If some rough bastard attacked you and your boyfriend on the street, do you think he could keep you safe? Or would you both just cry about it?

>>34627806
>as opposed to having one parent completely absent to work and the other miserable with their life

>>34627806
No, the one who is home on that day cooks and cleans. You really don't get it.

File: 1483368125037.png (416KB, 500x737px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 500x737px

>>34627792
Do what your man says or find a hipster faggot if you want feminist/progressive thinking.
But just know that you'll regret him and his plans someday.

>>34627821
He's the one going on and on about marriage. Not me. I want to be a good wife, I just believe there are more ways of being a good wife than being a submissive house slave.

>>34627818
Didn't they say one day a week? That's not bad. It gives the parents a break from the lil knob.

>>34627821
Give this user reddit gold!

>>34627818
Only one day a week, and only once they're in school.

>>34627840
Why would I regret it? My mother never did. She had a similar situation once.

>>34627846
>being a good wife means being a submissive house slave
Not quite. it's a division of labor, still. He goes and handles working with the world, and you handle the work at home. It's a pretty fair trade, biased a bit in the girl's favor because she's got less bullshit to deal with.

>>34627860
>reddit gold
A white knight or an incredibly bitter feminist cunt who can't answer my question because she's never even had a boyfriend. That's a pretty low bar, dudes will bang just about anything with a pulse. And even that's debatable.

Have you considered not being such a cunt? I bet you think it's your intelligence and independence driving all the men away.

>>34627829
What type of country do you live in where you can have a job, working every other day of the week, not on weekends, still get benefits, having a completely uncompromising schedule, with low enough competition that your position in the company is completely secure and you're likely to get a promotion? Or what kind of job do you work where at the entry level it's a wage that you're comfortable making for the rest of your life?

>>34627885
Like I've said, many times. I don't want to worry that he can just leave me whenever and I'll be left destitute, and a backup career is good if someone loses their job.

>>34627885
Unless something happens to the relationship, in which case the woman is left unemployed and impoverished.

>>34627910
>Maybe I'll get reddit gold if I up my tough guy act, that'll show those feminazi cunts XD

>>34627918
I'm not at entry level. Australia actually. and basically the public service has very stringent rules about workers rights and Enterprise Bargaining Agreements etc.

>>34627876
Almost every mother I know are housekeepers, and happy with it. When asked if they'd like to get back to work again, the vast majority replies "no".
They value the time spent with their kids or their husband coming home way more than money.

>>34627919
Is it really good to commit to marriage with a back up plan? Didn't people use to plan to stay married for life?

>>34627947
A backup career, not a backup man. Hell, one of us could lose our jobs or something.

>>34627919
If you think he's the kind of guy that would just leave you whenever for no reason, then you shouldn't be considering marrying him. If you're worried he'll be able to leave if you fuck him over, well...

>>34627920
Depends what country you live in. OP has implied that alimony and child support laws are weak in her country, but in pretty much every English speaking country a women is generally better off after a divorce, since she won't have to work but she'll still get a significant portion of the man's income.

>>34627947
Yeah, and then they got divorced and had to go back to an entry level job to struggle to provide for their children.

>>34627920
Oh no! SOMETHING might happen.

>>34627920
Unless the divorce case goes like the vast majority of them do and she gets half of his things, support checks every month, and government aid programs built to exactly her demographic

>>34627978
Like I said, not American.

>>34626407
enjoy being a catlady at 50

File: 1486160410390.jpg (111KB, 1145x662px) Image search: [Google]

111KB, 1145x662px

>Never have to do any real work
>Just cook, clean, and relax
>Get fucked nightly without ever having to really do real work
That sounds like a dream come true you faggot
God are you people ever happy
I'd kill for that. I'd kill for a bf. You know how rare a bf that actually wants to be monogamous is? Let alone one that wants marriage? Or one that wants a fucking stay at home
Wait a second
You're baiting as a fembot aren't you
You sack of fucking shit, you people don't belong here, stacy FUCKING LEAVE REEEEEEEE

>>34627973
something
pronoun
1.
a thing that is unspecified or unknown.
"we stopped for something to eat"
2.
used in various expressions indicating that a description or amount being stated is not exact.
"a wry look, something between amusement and regret"

Does that make it easier to understand, anon?

>>34627947
>marriage with a backup plan
That's modern women for you. Loyal as long as it's convenient. If they're not happy there's 6 other dudes waiting desperately for a text from her.

>>34628005
I thought y'all said women had it super easy and could get men like *that*? Won't that mean OP could move on and find someone else.

>>34628014
Yes, you want to be able to leave him for any reason. But if you really think he's the sort of guy you might want to leave suddenly for whatever reason, then why are you even considering marrying him?

>>34628042
I am original but I am not OP

>>34628017
A back up CAREER not a backup MAN. As a just in case for unemployment or you know, death or divorce or something. The bad stuff.

>>34627943
Shouldn't you worry about the possibility of those laws changing? Companies are always looking to make profits. I mean, if you're planning far enough ahead for the possibility of your marriage failing, I think you should do the same for your career. There will probably be plenty of people just as qualified as you to work the same job you do, just full time and with a more flexible schedule. And when your company runs numbers they'll realize that.

>>34628040
Women can get sex easy, they can't find quality long-term partners easy.

Sure they can find plenty of white knights to shack up with them when they're old and ugly, maybe with a kid or two, but a smart woman finds a good man when she's young and attractive and holds on tight.

>>34628006
>You know how rare a bf that actually wants to be monogamous is? Let alone one that wants marriage?
Not very rare at all? My friends date them.

And I'm not baiting.

If you want to start a family you're going to have to look after the kids.
Stop with the "wimmin career" meme, you get to live the Neetlife, just raise your kids and cook the meals and you're gucci.

>>34628058
It will not change. One major political party is literally founded on the Workers Union movement, and the other wouldn't change that stuff for fear of Labour (the aforementioned party) getting into power.

>>34626407
Respect is arguably the single most important thing in a relationship, and it doesn't sound like he really respects you.

File: 1486200334407.png (17KB, 882x758px)

17KB, 882x758px

>>34628073
FUCKING STACY FUCK OFF
US MONOGAMOUS GAYBOTS ARE FUCKED
WE'LL NEVER FIND THAT AND IT HURTS

>>34628095
What does a respectful relationship look like to you? Does the man ask permission before he slaps his girlfriend's ass or kisses her?

>>34627988
Is this reliable at all?
http://members.iinet.net.au/~patrick6/kiss28.html
Because if it is it seems like it's about the same thing in Australia. You wouldn't have to be worried about being poor and destitute

>>34628109
One where the man is okay with his wife having a life outside of being his houseslave.

>>34628129
It's something called spouse maintenance, and it's not crippling the way alimony is, and only lasts about a year to get the other partner on their feet again.

>>34628148
>houseslave
>girl gets to do 2-3 hours of housework a day while the man works a fulltime job
>slavery
Aren't you a whiny bitch. Is your boyfriend hot? Would he stand up for you in a fight, or would he just cry about it?

>>34627961
I was just addressing your concern about being left poor if you guys split, I didn't imply there was another guy at all.

>>34626407
It's a set-up, OP.

If you become some shitty "homemaker" (aka "jobless"), you won't be able to develop a decent career and you'll be less capable of leaving him.

You'll be trapped.

File: Chastity.jpg (366KB, 1223x1541px) Image search: [Google]

366KB, 1223x1541px

>>34628193
>trapped with a man who wants to provide for you, protect you, and raise a family with you
Truly a fate worse than death. How terrible it is that governments don't bend over backwards to provide options for women that get divorced.

>>34628213
And treat you as his inferior, putting your dreams on hold while he gets EVERYTHING he wants.

>>34626407
these threads are proof of why /r9k/ is dead and flooded with normies and their fucking shit normie "problems" This wouldn't be a horrible thing in the robot perspective because true robots will never have a girlfriend let alone marry anyone. fucking kill yourself piece of shit normalfaggot go back to reedit where this type of shit is acceptable.

>>34628156
Well that really still doesn't seem bad at all. It sounds to me like you have some notions about being a housewife that are false, too. It wouldn't be slavery anymore than a regular 9-5 job would be considered slavery. In fact, it might be a lot better considering you get to spend all of that time with your kids. And it's not like your only able to stay in the house for the rest of your life. It's not like you wouldn't be able to have friends or do the things you like, it's just that your time would be much more limited, and the possible risks involved would be much higher since you're now supporting kids. Which is exactly the same thing that would happen under the system you have imagined if you threw kids into the mix

>>34628275
Regardless, I would find it unfulfilling, just as my husband would. It seems like a wasted life, when you could do other things and raise a family well.

>>34628259
You're fed this idea that when you're a successful career woman with the hard-won respect of your coworkers and a tough reputation with your employees and customers, then you can finally be happy. But when a woman finally reaches that point, if at all, do you think she feels happy? Satisfied? Worth putting off starting a family for 20 years until she's on the edge of menopause and her children are much more likely to have autism and other issues?

And if not that, what other dreams are being crushed by being with a man? A girl would have plenty of time to paint or make music or engage in any other creative pursuit. Hell, she could start her own business with all the free time she'd have.

So exactly what dreams are being put on hold by being a loyal wife? The dream of being a massive slut without any consequences?

>>34628289
>raising children and maintaing a household is a wasted life
Goddamn, no wonder Western culture is crumbling if women think like you do.

>>34628307
I don't see why my dreams are incompatible with being a loyal wife.

>>34628321
It's a wasted life when that's all you do. If you have an understanding and willing to negotiate partner, you can do both.

>>34628324
>I don't see why my dreams are incompatible with being a loyal wife.
Is that not the entire premise of this thread, that your dreams are incompatible with being a loyal wife?

What are your dreams that would be so hampered by having a shitload of free time every day and a set of responsibilities no more difficult or time consuming than a child's chores?

If he won't give in, you have to leave him. There is no other choice. For one, you want to have a different relationship, so even a compromise would put you in a spot where you don't want to be, and you'd end up with an inferior life.
And even besides that, if the relationship doesn't work out, if you don't have a job, you'll be stuck with him forever, in a miserable life, with no ability to get independence.
There is simply no way around it. If he doesn't give in, your only option is to end the relationship. Otherwise, you will throw away your life.
2bh, even the idea he wants sounds like a red flag to me. Why doesn't he want equality? Does he want you do be his property?

>>34628344
>an understanding and willing to negotiate partner
Jesus, the fact you refer to the poor guy as a partner instead of a boyfriend or a man speaks volumes. Poor bastard.

>>34628345
I don't know why being a loyal wife has to entail being a houseslave.

>>34628361
partner is a perfectly valid way to see someone? Surely it's the best way. I'm not even her, but why does that word have negative connotations. Surely you should be each other's partner, having each others back, being their first port of call etc. Boyfriend sounds childish and teenagery. And man? there's nothing personal there.

>>34627792
As to this question, I completely agree with your boyfriend and his mindset, and I can say that while he may be able to compromise on this, it's something that's very important to him, and you'll be denying him that. Just like he'd be denying you your career, or at least that's the way he'll look at it. If you absolutely positively can not be a housewife, even after really understanding what that would mean, than I'd say don't marry him even if he is willing to compromise. Really, you two will just have to look at how much you're worth to each other and how much the lifestyle you want is worth compared to that. Truthfully he probably feels like you would actually enjoy being a housewife and would be very happy once you experienced it, and if that's not true than make that as clear to him as you possibly can.

>>34628359
>Does he want you do be his property?
No, it sounds like he just wants a simple life where he deals with the bullshit of the outside world at work, so that he can provide for his family and protect them from that bullshit, and then come home to an appreciative wife.

If she isn't gonna appreciate what he wants to do for her, and would rather they both deal with bullshit and complicate the whole affair, then it's best if she ends it now because she's only gonna disappoint the poor guy. Spoiled cunts don't realize how good they have it.

>>34628389
So, break up then?

>>34628363
>houseslave
What are your dreams that would be so hampered by having a shitload of free time every day and a set of responsibilities no more difficult or time consuming than a child's chores?

>>34628388
>partner is a valid way to see someone
You think so? Out of curiosity, how have your "partners" been? Assuming you're a girl and your partners were male, if the two of you were violently assaulted in the street, do you think your "partner" would be able to defend you competently?

So, I guess the consensus is this is going to make us both unhappy in the long run?

We should just end it?

>>34628405
Sounds like either you'll be imposing on his dreams or he'll be imposing on yours.

>>34628416
Well, yeah. I mean, one boyfriend I met through karate, and we both had black belts.

>>34628363
Because they're afraid the lure of other dicks will be enough to lose you.

>>34628441
And did you call him your partner, and did he call you his partner? Or did you just call yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend like normal people?

>>34628451
Then that's their fault for being untrusting and insecure

>>34628451
To be honest, I've banged enough of other men's girlfriends/wives to know all the average chick needs to cheat is an opportunity and a good excuse.

>>34628462
>implying normal people can't/don't ever refer to their souse as partner
t. socially retarded

>>34628468
I would agree, anon.

>>34628462
boyfriend and girlfriend until it was longterm, like this relationship.

>>34628344
You could still pursue other things, just not with the same amount of time available to do it. I mean, does it really add that much meaning to your life to work the job you're currently working? As a housewife, you could volunteer and help out a community, you could pursue a freelance career in art, music, or writing. You could manage the finances well enough that you and your husband can retire happily and provide the best life possible for your kids. After the kids move out you could still travel, and once they're old enough you could probably start working again, I really don't think your husband would have too much a problem with that if they're all almost or already moved out. Life wouldn't start and end at housework.

>>34628500
You're trying to sell me this idea of glorified slavery something chronic aren't you.

>>34628487
I call my spouse either my partner or significant other.

>>34628487
No, normally they don't. Normally they're boyfriend and girlfriend, or man and wife. This partner bullshit is some newage bullshit that doesn't make anyone happy. Funny, with the rise of feminism and "equality" women are less happy than ever.

>>34628492
Okay, when you use the term partner are you just using it as a "mature" term for boyfriend/girlfriend, or are you trying to imply you're exactly equal and identical partners?

>>34628451
And what of young pussies? OP said her boyfriend works in a uni. plenty of opportunities to cheat there.

>>34628405
Talk about it first, make everything clear to him as to why you'd want to. There's a chance you'll see his point of view or he'll see yours, but it's slim. Hope for it anyway, I guess.

>>34628526
Bit of both, except not identical, but certainly equal.

You're clearly socially retarded if you don't know that calling someone your partner or SO is completely normal.

>>34628514
>glorified slavery
You spoiled rotten fucking cunt, you wouldn't know what slavery was if it put a fucking collar on your throat and sent you to the fields. Having the majority of every day to yourself free to spend as you please is about as far from slavery as it gets.

Hows your relationship going? Your partner satisfying you in bed?

>>34628526
>I don't do it therefore no one normal does
>t. social retard

>>34628550
A lot of things are considered "normal" these days, doesn't mean they're a part of a healthy relationship. Having an open, polygamous relationship is pretty normal these days too.

>>34628556
You clearly don't understand using words in hyperbolic. I don't think it's literal slavery, however it's something that is not right for me.

I respect other women's choice to be a housewife, but I can't do it.

>>34628418
At the very least, there is no way you should quit your job.
That's something only for the people who want to live that way, and it's STILL a huge risk that is recommended against in case the relationship goes bad.
You don't even want it, you want a life where you work and have an equal relationship. So you are not even risking your future for something you want, you are putting yourself in a potentially terrible future spot in order to live a life you don't want now.

I don't really like his values of not wanting equality, so I think you should try to educare you.
I don't want to say break up, but do not quit your job for him. Another option is to get him to understand your wishes and equality, but if you can't, I can't see any way to keep the relationship in a way that's good for you.

>>34628556
Free to spend her day doing anything except the thing she clearly wants to do? That sounds real liberating.

>>34628566
>social retard
Next you're gonna call me a permavirgin, right? Or a bitter NEET? Or have you even been on this site long enough to know what a fucking NEET is?

You feminist cunts are out of your league.

>>34626863
>muh equality
God you sound like a broken record, I get you don't want to be a stay at home wife. That's chill or whatever. But wanting to spilt all of the work down perfectly equal is kinda overboard. If you really love each other who cares if you do more work than him or he does more work than you every now and then. Just tell him you wanna have your own job, or fuck off. It's not that hard.

>>34628588
And what is this thing she wants to do that she is unable to do with most of the day as free time, every day?

>>34628598
>I have no argument so I'm just going to call you a feminist cunt again
L M A O
M
A
O

So, end of thread. It will never work, he will never change his mind (I know I can't change mine on this) one of us will just end up resenting the other and we may as well call it quits now so it doesn't have to actually become a legal issue.

Well, guess that clears that up.

>>34628624
You're calling me out for not making an argument when all you're doing is calling names? Dumb bitch, and you wonder why nobody takes women seriously.

>>34628620
Have her own job and be independent. Have you even read the thread?

>>34628620
Work, clearly. Make money. etc.

>>34628642
>be independent
>be in a relationship
You can't have both, that's just not how it works. Unless you're living separate lives and just banging occasionally.

>>34628514
Seriously, how does that sound like slavery? Where is that unappealing? It seems, from a traditionalist mindset, actually more appealing than a regular job. I guess I'm just trying to get you to see it as something other than slavery because it seemed like you had a very narrow and prejudiced view of housewives.

>>34628641
>Only acknowledging half of the post
Anon truly was a desperate internet tryhard

>>34628652
You can be in a relationship and not depend entirely on your partner.

>>34628644
So she'd rather work for some random fucker all day than just work to keep her house clean for a couple hours a day? Makes sense.

>>34628653
It's not slavery, but it's not what I want either. It's far, far, less appealing than a regular job, to me personally. I have the utmost respect for choosing it, but I just could not do it.

>>34628626
No offense, but why didn't you ask this question on /adv/? Your literary asking for advice? /r9k/ is not the best place to ask for based on relationships or social interactions.

>>34628673
Sure, but you can't be totally independent.

>>34628684
Then if you're unwilling to compromise and he isn't willing to compromise, then the answer is clear.

>>34628682
Keeping house requires more than a couple of hours, if you do it properly.

File: mosin spurdo gondola.jpg (118KB, 727x1015px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 727x1015px

>>34626486
That's a misunderstanding. If a man only has to worry about giving 100% at his workplace, and not worry about eating, kids, paperwork, or anything else, he will be at a HUGE advantage. If he is ambitious, he will be able to climb the ranks much easier than his coworkers, and will end up making a lot more money than if you both did your jobs, and are both tired all the time. Once kids come into the equation, this amplifies.

You can either be a mother or an office worker. If you try to be both, you will do a shit job of both

>>34628682
You can't make money working at home. It's not about the labor, it's about having a financial fallback and being financially equal rather than one relying entirely on the other.

>>34628687
Because /adv/ doesn't tend to hold the same attitude to my bf, whereas /r9k/ does, I wanted that perspective.

Also the advice nearly always boils down to "leave them".

>>34628704
Depends how big your house is and how messy the occupants are habitually. It's really not difficult to do, I know because I've done it myself.

>>34628702
She's not asking to be totally independent, she's asking to not be totally dependent.

>>34628702
Well, it's hard to compromise on my end. I'm either a housewife or I'm not.
>>34628725
We have a pretty large house, and you know, this is a toddlers scenario. Toddlers are messy.

>>34628684
Then I'd say that the relationship probably won't work but you should still talk to him. There's few things worse to a guy than just being blindsided with a breakup, and like I said earlier he may even be willing to compromise. I wish you the best of luck

>>34626834
>daycare
LIterally just asking to fuck up your kid for life

Guys, OP never specified their gender.

>>34628716
>you can't make money working at home
Bullshit. But even if you lack the creativity and work ethic to make money at home, your dream of equality is just that, a dream. I guarantee having two identical incomes will not make either of you any happier and will just complicate things, and serve as an incentive to just break up if there's any issues instead of trying to work it out.

>>34628765
House WIFE you moron.

>>34628716
but if you dont rely on the other then the relationship wont last, you will eventually get into a fight and since you are both free individuals you will leave and end up single and miserable

>>34628767
You can't make money doing housework at home, I meant to say
>>34628775
Then you're literally only with that person because you have no other option, that sounds shitty as hell dude

File: gondola rain.gif (371KB, 400x300px)

371KB, 400x300px

>>34627255
>>34627232
>somebody linked to the Stef video

Fuck yeah

>>34627439
>cooking 3 meals a day, cleaning, paperwork related to home, paying bills, feeding kids, taking care of kids
>not a full time job

Boi. What don't you get about the fact that taking care of a home and family are in themselves a full time job, with a shitload of labor

>>34628791
>Then you're literally only with that person because you have no other option
No, it's because you're happy with that person and want to be with them. Instead of this retarded feminist bullshit "well I want to be with this person NOW but in case I change my mind later I need a plan B and C".

>>34628828
The kids are down the line and not a sure thing yet, sounds like. And when kids are around, sure, it's a full time job. But until then, it's a pretty cozy deal.

>>34628764
One day a week isn't that bad, especially when they're school aged. We had our daughter in daycare for 3 months, twice a week when she was an infant. The workers kept her in a swing the whole time. She always looked so sad when dropping her off and picking her up. We started paying our friends mother to start watching her.

So, I should give up on the relationship? I mean, we have talked about it. He won't flex. I love him. or, I-did-. Now I don't know what to think.

>>34628829
>since you are both free individuals you will leave
If the reason you would leave is because you're free to do so, then you would only be with them if you weren't.

>>34628828
Well, I do think it is. Which is why it should be spread equally, and why all those other anons talking about it being 3 hours out of a day and being able to fill my time with other things are bullshitting.

File: molochs bullies.jpg (565KB, 1500x1500px) Image search: [Google]

565KB, 1500x1500px

>>34628848
If you wanna be a strong, independent woman who don't need no man then yeah, you're probably better off without a man.

>>34628483
One of my female friends is ditching her boyfriend for a week to go stay with a (male) friend in NYC. She's going to lie to him and say she's going to AZ to try and find her real dad (no joke). That's how I know I'd be able to fuck her on the side.

>>34627682
>Be american
>nig attacks me and gf in street
>shoot him with my carry piece

>be european
>"refugee" attacks me
>get my shit kicked in
>gf gets raped
>get sent to jail for being racist

>>34628875
I want a man. I just don't want this specific division of labour.

>>34628848
I think you might have regrets down the road about it, and maybe you won't. But like many others have already said, if you're both unwilling to compromise on something as major as this then yeah, the relationship isn't going to work.

File: Screenshot_2016-11-07-20-08-41-1-1.png (98KB, 306x305px)

98KB, 306x305px

>>34628887
>labour
>not labor
Good golly

>>34628853
>If the reason you would leave is because you're free to do so, then you would only be with them if you weren't.
Not necessarily true. People will work harder to make something work not only when it's their only option, but also of it's their best or easiest option. Put someone in an aisle with 30 brands of cereal and they'll have a hard time choosing and after they pick, they'll be thinking about all the things they could have picked. Put someone in an aisle with 2 or 3 brands of cereal, and a person will likely be much more satisfied with their decision. It's just how human brains work.

Similarly, make it easy for a couple to break up and they'll break up easily over a minor issue. Make it hard for them to break up and they won't break up unless it's a serious issue.

>>34628892
Why might I have regrets? Just curious.

>>34628859
You would still have time for other things, about the same as you would with the plan you want, if not more. I know my mom always had a lot more free time than my dad, and my family was very traditional.

>>34628877
Sounds about right. She's gonna be seeing a lot of dick that week, sounds like.

>>34628908
>why might I have regrets breaking up with this (seemingly) good man while I'm young
It's a mistake lots of women make. They get a good guy while they're young, and he's loyal to her and loves her. She figures "this is alright but I'm not ready to settle down yet" so she sluts around for a while. Then when she's done, maybe starting to get a little old and looks for a quality man again, she finds out that the quality men aren't as interested in her anymore, and now she's just got a bunch of beta faggots that are willing to commit to her. It's a pretty common story these days.

>>34628904
Those are completely different things, but okay. That's a pretty manipulative way of thinking. If your partner is only with you because they rely on you/it's more convenient, then it's a shitty relationship. End of story.

>>34628908
Well, if you really do end up with kids, you might regret that they were raised by parents who were both a little more stressed than they might've had to be, and you might get tired of working as you get older, but unable to back out of it because most of your long term finances will probably already be planned and halfway through by then, and you might regret not spending more time with your kids. But all of this would vary for anyone.

>>34628947
You're reducing it to black and white terms and in doing so, being completely dishonest. I mean c'mon. Imagine you really want a sucker but you only have one, and you drop it. You'll probably go clean it off in the sink and keep eating it. But if you really want a sucker and you have 3 but you drop one, you'll probably just pull out another one.

Same idea. If it's easier for a couple to stay together than break up, then they'll both have an easier time staying together and be happier doing so than if it were trivial for them to separate.

>>34628941
Oh I'm sure of it. She's not even paying for the ticket.

>>34628941
I don't want to slut around. I've never slutted around, and never had a one night stand. I've only ever had relationships - it's not an issue of being ready to settle down, I am. It's just the manner of settling down.

>>34628980
You're not understanding what I'm saying. A couple should be together because they care about each other, not because it's inconvenient to break up. If it only takes something trivial and small to break up, then it wasn't a good relationship to begin with.

>>34628972
Like I said, I was raised in this environment, and my parents loved each other and my brother and I, and provided a lot for us. They taught us well, gave us books, let us learn instruments, made us earn our own money as well so as not to be spoilt, etc. They are great parents and I have no significant baggage from my home life, bar one grandma who was a real critical bitch- but that's not my parents fault.

That's how I want to raise my kids, because I've been happy and well adjusted my whole life (well, as well adjusted as teens ever are, you know).

>>34629008
Serial monogamy is better than just whoring around, but not by much.

>>34629011
And I'm telling you that the threshold of what's trivial and what's worth working through changes on the conditions of how easy it is to break up. People are situational creatures.

>>34629048
No, you're saying that a relationship can only work if one person is dependent on the other.

>>34629048
Let me rephrase. I've been in my current relationship for 4 years. I'm 26 now- I had one 3 year one before that, and one high school one that fell apart because we went to different universities. It's not a case of a different man every 6 months.

>>34629060
That's not what I'm saying, rather, that's something I'm also saying.

>>34629065
Look, if he wants to have a loyal housewife and you want to be an independent woman and neither of you are willing to compromise, I don't see what advice you're looking for at this point.

>>34629086
I've actually said several times that it seems like the consensus is to break up. People just keep trying to tell me I'm wrong etc. etc. etc.

Is it wrong to break up with someone over these kinds of irreconcilable differences?

Everything else in the relationship is going smoothly. We have a great sex life, emotionally we're fine, we're in love etc.

File: 1486074336275.jpg (52KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 640x480px

>>34626407
Being a homemaker is easy but tedious and you should do it.

Trust me, hoovering, cleaning, washing dishes, loading a washing machine, and, some ironing are the least of your troubles.

They might be tedious and menial, sure, but it beats shoveling shit, roof work, or, manual-labor out in the cold, heat, and, weather any day.

Granted it may not offer you social status and may even do you a discredit in the eyes of some, but again would you rather be out in the elements all day, cramped up in an office cubical, or hoovering to your favorite music in a warm house?

>>34629113
I don't blame you for not reading the thread, it's very long now, but it's not for me. I can't do that. I just can't. I would hate it and be resentful.

>>34629110
>is it wrong to break up over irreconcilable differences
Of course not, especially not in this situation. Personally I think this is a silly issue and in the long term you'd be much happier if you went his way, but if you're not willing to do that then yeah, it sounds like neither of you are gonna be happy unless you just pretend this whole issue doesn't exist for as long as possible.

>>34629150
Like I said, I would never be happy as a housewife. I know I'd hate it and be resentful.

>>34629043
You can still give all of that to a kid if your a housewife. I mean I'm from a traditional family and my parents have done exactly all of those things for me, albeit I do have a little bit of baggage because they had gotten treatment for addiction when I was around 5, and times before that we were a little poor, but afterwards life was much better and easier. I wouldn't trade my childhood for anything, and I have mainly my home life to thank for being able to say that. Your boyfriend was probably raised traditionally and likely feels the same way about your future home life as you do, that it worked out really well for him and it's what he wants for his kids

>>34629166
I don't want it. I really couldn't be happy being like that. Call it western propoganda all you will (although I think it stems from my family), it's the simple truth. I don't identify anything I want or like with traditionalism.

>>34629198
Then why not get artificially inseminated? They have pretty high standards for sperm donors.

>>34629221
Or I could find something like I want. Equal division and all that.

>>34629234
Good luck. I have a feeling that if you find a guy who's down with how you wanna do things, he's gonna be a bit of a pussy.

>>34629198
Okay, just answering your question was all.

>>34629256
Well, my dad is not. He and my mum are true equals and love each other and respect each other, but also don't let the other get away with bad behaviour. That's what I want.

>>34629282
Dunno where you're from but like I said, and I honestly mean it, good luck. Everywhere I've been, any guy that would be down with that sorta shit was a whiny faggot who very few women would be happy with.

>>34626407
FUCKING NORMAL FAGS.. GET OFF MY BOARD

GOODDD DDAAAMMNNN

>>34629292
What sort of "shit"?

>>34629311
The ideal relationship you've be describing here where everything is split down the middle and there's no leader of the relationship. I think you'll find that if you look at your parent's relationship close enough, you'll find out one of the other is the leader, and it's probably your dad. That's just how human relationships work.

Seriously consider your parent's interactions and look at who usually follows whose influence, who usually gets their way in a disagreement, whose opinion holds more sway, etc. It may not be a big difference but all but guarantee there is one.

>>34629347
They negotiate.

So women are relegated to being followers?

Why on earth would I not want an equal partnership? What possible benefit is there to being a submissive, dependant follower who doesn't get any say?

And before you cite the 'happiness' thing, that's because the women who are housewives now are the ones choosing it. It does not mean it would make everyone happy.

>>34629311
I'm off to bed, good look figuring your shit out.

>>34628259
lol no he'll be a wageslave like the rest of them

>>34629370
>they negotiate
Sure, didn't say it was a master/slave relationship. But one of them definitely takes the lead when the situation calls for it. You act like there's no middle ground between being a submissive slave and being a man's girl. Being submissive in a relationship doesn't mean your opinion is entirely disregarded or you're not allowed to influence things, or even take the least at times if the situation calls for it. It just means that in most cases, you don't have to worry about shit because he's going to, and in return you support him, and you're both happier for this setup. That's how most healthy relationships work, even if they dress it up. One person deals with most of the bullshit, the other person has their back, and they support each other and are stronger for it.

>>34629347
My wife and I are equals. You assume only one person steers a relationship, when it's a cooperative effort.

>>34629401
It's a cooperative effort.

If I were submissive or dominant in a relationship I'd be unhappy.

Just because you believe in one way, doesn't mean its right for everyone.

I don't want to be relegated to being the support. I want support too.

>>34629405
Every time I've met a guy who said his wife and he were equals, either

!) He led the relationship and said that because it was politically correct and fashionable to do so
or
2)She led the relationship and had zero respect for him because he was needy and always seeking her approval.

Purely equal relationships just aren't a thing, outside maybe very rare occasions. There's always a leader, even if only by some small margin. People are happier that way. Try to be equal all the time is exhausting for both parties.

>>34629449
I'm too tired to keep arguing about this. Quick question before I go, do you enjoy being submissive in bed with him? Or do you demand equality there too? Also the submissive one in a relationship gets plenty of support too, it's a mutual effort. They're a team.

>>34629479
Honestly, I'm a switch. I like submission and dominance.

You really can't tell me what would make me happy. It's very presumptuous to do so. I still believe relationships are cooperative, and if I don't get a man and the like because of it, so what. I would rather date a woman or be alone than be a submissive follower who can't make decisions.

>>34629454
Well, here's the breakdown. My wife is more financially minded than I am, so she takes point on that. I'm very much a diy guy, so I take point on remodeling and fixing. We work together on things as well. Because we're partners. She balances my weakness as I balance hers.

>>34629449
shit really doesnt work like this, people are not equals. people are different
both parents or lovers assuming the same role i dont see working out. opposites attract and complete eachother, to me it sounds like you want to be the one in control, and your bf probably does too, doubt its gonna work out for you guys. not trying to be a bummer but thats just what im getting from what youre telling us

>>34629519
>be a submissive follower who can't make decisions.
That's not what being submissive means. I mean it can, but not necessarily. Being submissive just means that you'll follow your partner's lead, not that you can't mutually decide what the best course of action is.

>>34629535
Great. If the house was on fire and there were kittens hidden throughout it, one of you would be shouting orders to the other either to get out or where to find them. This illusion of perfect equals breaks down as soon as there's an actually difficult situation that calls for a leader.

>>34629519
> I would rather date a woman or be alone than be a submissive follower who can't make decisions

ahh the truth rears its head at last

>>34629578
People can think they're cozy perfect equals as long as life is relatively smooth sailing, but in a crisis scenario someone's gonna take the lead or you're both fucked. There's no time for a democratic committee and ratification process, no time to talk it out and take a vote when there's a life or death situation at hand, somebody's gonna take the fucking reigns and that's the person who's been the leader all along, even if they pretended not to be.

File: 1445543942130.jpg (40KB, 340x376px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 340x376px

Women don't know what they want. Today you want this tomorrow you'll want something else. Do what your bf says.

>>34629578
We've been married for 8 years. Who takes the reigns in a crisis is situational. As I said, I balance her weakness, she balances mine.

>>34629626
There's something about the phrase "cooperation" that seems to be throwing you guys off.

File: 1486175034116.gif (458KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

458KB, 250x250px

>>34626407


Are you serious, barely anyone is addressing the fact this is ultra normie faggot post?

Fuck all of you fucking cucks. Destroying our culture like a bunch of frickin' shitskins

>>34629709
Right. A financial or a DIY crisis. I'm talking about an immediate life or death crisis where somebody has to make a fucking executive decision without running it by the other and the other person will back them up on it.

>>34629717
Cooperation is a nice ideal, but there's a reason every military unit has a strict hierarchy and 1 leader for any given unit/division/etc. Having two "equals" at any given position that have the same responsibility is inefficient and leads to confusion in a situation that calls for decisive action.

Your pretty little dream of perfect cooperation will/would get crushed underfoot in a shit situation. A group can cooperate and have full and complete respect for every other member, but there's always a leader.

>>34629627
this desu

aragonese

>>34629762
And it would depend on the situation, nimrod. If there's something wrong with our daughter, my wife takes lead. If there's a natural disaster, I take the lead. If it's something that could be efficiently solved by cooperative effort, then cooperative effort it is.

Are you actually in a relationship or is all this speculation on your part?

>>34626407
I heard according to statistics homemakers have a happier and healthier life.

>>34627439
You're equally dependent on each other. One to earn money, the other to earn quality childcare.

File: 1484255269071.gif (631KB, 489x532px)

631KB, 489x532px

>>34629754
>being a housewife isn't normie tier
Males work and provide resources for their family
Females provide housework and do repetitive tasks that males see as "boring".

This is the meta for all our ancestors because males have more testosterone, hence more strength and ingenuity while females have estrogen which enhances empathy so they can take care of the social aspects for a child.

>>34627376
People usually want kids just so they can pop out "mini mes". They want to have control over something in there life.

No one genuinely cares about having a healthy family