Proven by the Real World ways to change and get what you want

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>>34610009
2) Build a habit of success and growth: This will lead to real confidence (internal) and real success(external)
a) Set a small daily task, such as 'walk for 20 minutes'. Repeat this until it is a habit.
b) Create another, such as 'clean the bathroom every day and take out the trash when I am done'. Repeat this until it is a habit.
c) When you have 3-4 of these new daily habits, make weekly habits such as 'go to the park and talk an hour walk every Sunday'
d) after 3 of these you can build 2-3 habits at a time.
You can repeat this until you change your routines to be more productive *with less mental effort*. You will also build the mental habit of finishing what you start and the emotional habit of success. Large accomplishments are built on small ones.
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>>34610053
3) Expand you mental horizons. This will make you more adaptable in new situations and more able to rapidly respond to change
a) Set aside time to read every day, at least 20 minutes with 45-60 minutes better
b) Make sure you read quality works: the classics of literature (/lit/ has lists, your library does, too) and good non-fiction.
c) Keep a dictionary handy and use it as needed
d) In addition to your normal TV, replace some with movie classics
c) Listen to classic Old Time radio when travelling; this will improve your vocabulary and expose you to a broader range of conversation
As your vocabulary and verbal skills improve you will become more adept as active listening with others
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Are you of Indian origin or has Priyanka Chopra become somewhat popular in the US among non-Indians too?

>>34610102
4) Make written goals and plans
a) Sit down and seriously list the two things you want that you don't have. Write them down
b) break down each goal into the broad steps you need to take the get to the result you want. Write them down.
c) Break the first step down into the sub-tasks, in order. Write them down. Keep your goals in your wallet.
d) With your new habits of getting things done, start on step one.
e) At the end of every week, review your progress on your current steps and adjust as you need.
f) at the end of the month, review the entire plan and adjust as you need.
g) at the end of the quarter review *everything* and change things based upon what you have learned and done.
h) repeat this until you get what you want
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>>34610107
Saw her in a Bollywood film and thought she was pretty

How am i supposed to manage all of this.

This would require killing all of my free time just in spite of pursuing some useless bullshit.

if this is what normies do with their time other than work/sleep then thanks but i'll pass.

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>>34610144
5) Learn better social skills
a) Join a book club at a book store and attend. You can use this to get used to being around strangers and listening to them speak. There is usually not much pressure to participate, so you can focus on watching and listening.
b) Take a one-shot adult cooking class where you are teamed up with another person. Both of you will be focused on the task at hand and will be being told what to do. By focusing on the task you can talk about the task and build confidence in speaking with strangers.
c) Join an activity group, such as a walking group, birdwatchers, amateur photographers, etc. You can speak with small groups of strangers that you share an interest with as you build confidence.
d) Join your local toastmasters. They focus on coaching people to be confident public speakers and all overcame shyness and such to become pros at speaking. They will have tons of suggestions and practical help.
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>>34610199
The reglar sleep/eat schedule will save you a lot of time, and building habits to do things like take out the trash, clean up, etc. at regular times doesn't take much time or effort and becomes something that requires no emotional investment.

>>34610009
I appriciate you making posts like this, the board could use so more stuff like this for those that can be saved but I still have trouble rationalizing doing any of this. I just can't see the point of putting all this work in just for the chance of having success, when I don't even want it in the first place. I never asked to be alive and all of a sudden I'm thrusted into existence and I have to do all this shit now. It just seems so ridiculous. Maybe I'm just too far gone.

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>>34610214
6) Learn more about women and what you *actually* want in a woman
a) Now that you are in these groups and more comfortable with strangers, spend time learning about other people, especially women, by asking them about themselves and then actually listening to them.
b) There are singles groups in almost every city that get groups of men and women together for joint/group activities. Join one or two that involve activities you are interested in;hiking, books, kayaking, anime, just going to dinner - whatever. Go and talk to women for no other purpose than to get to know them.
c) after you have spent more time with women and know more about them, set up a group event with 1-2 other guys you know and 2-3 girls you know to see a movie, get coffee - whatever you like. The goal is to spend more time with women you *think* you like to see if you are correct.
--many men without a lot of experience with women have more 'a list of fetishes' than 'realistic expectations and desires'. You might think you lie shy girls, but then find that in reality you are frustrated by their lack of interaction (just an example)
d) as you narrow in on what you *actually* like in women, invite one of the women with many traits you like to coffee or something for no other reason to see if you actually are attracted to women like her. Not about dating or love, just getting to know her better.
e) Then do the same with another woman to compare. Be upfront, let everyone know you just want to get to know them better and you have no ulterior motive.
Eventually, this will give you a realistic view of women and your own interest.
Be honest! If you only want to date, say, women with huge tits admit it and act on it.

more after a short break

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>>34610269
Self pity will get you nowhere son

>>34610269
Take it a step at a time e.g; wake up on time, couple days later make your bed every morning, a couple days later brush your teeth and wash twice per day and so on. It could very well take you years to do so but it'll be worth it in the end.

>I never asked to be alive and all of a sudden I'm thrusted into existence
And now that you exist make it the best existence you can and not just full of wallowing in your self-pity..

>>34610009
>Carnegie Group
>>34610053
>>34610102
>>34610144
>>34610214
>>34610331
Thanks, OP!

>tfw just started uni again
y'know what I'll try this

>>34610269
OP here.
"Normies" are just people with habits and experience you don't have. Even your nihilism is a product of your isolation and poor skills/habits.
These steps will make your life easier and less stressful - that alone is a great reason to do them

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>>34610009
over showering isn't good for overall hygiene though

you've got millions of years of evolution before the shower was invented

i'm not saying forgo bathing, but over cleanliness is just as bad as neglect of cleanliness

>>34610009
7) Get a girl
a) realize that there is no one true soulmate for anyone: any woman of decent character and shared interests will make a good wife
b) Think about what *you* offer to *her*. Are you honest or a liar? Are you reliable or a flake? can she believe that you can and will protect her, or are you cowardly? In short, if the table were turned, would you marry you?
If no, go back to step 1 and work on being honest, dependable, courageous, and just.
If yes, keep going
c) Now that you know what you are looking for in a woman realistically, start looking for women like that. You may already have an acquaintance or two. Join new groups, too.
d) Tell your acquaintances you are looking for a wife
--Why? well, you're serious, right? Why pretend otherwise? 'Looking for a wife' doesn't mean 'but I don't date or sleep with women beforehand', does it?
e) *Enlist the help of women you know*. Compliment them and thank them and tell them you trust their opinion. This will get the gossip on your side, not against you. They will tell you things about women you can't learn on your own before a relationship. Watch for jealousy, though.
f) Ignore concepts like 'out your league' or 'too good' as much as you do 'beneath you' and 'not good enough'. A woman who is a 5/10 who is loyal, honest, and totally in love with you is 1,000% better than a 10/10 lying cheater who hates you. At the same time, if you never even try on that 10/10 how do you know she doesn't like you?
g) keep initial dates low-key and simple. Focus on asking her about her and her interests. Really, actually listen to what she says. Ask for clarifications and for her to add to what she has already said. You are, in a real way, interviewing her.
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>>34611014
Shower every day. You'll be fine

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>>34611114
More 7) getting a girl
h) if a woman you are interested in and taking out starts to treat you like a boyfriend without any commitment on her part, DON'T let her. Crying on your shoulder? Using you for emotional support? Talking to you for hours and hours about her feelings? That is for BFs/ Fiances/Husbands. If one tries that simply say 'we're a couple, now?' or words to that effect. If she says no, politely beg off
>"You should talk to your girlfriends", etc
If she says yes but does not reciprocate in emotional support, etc. she is being dishonest.
In other words, *don't let women use you just because you find them attractive*
j) If there is obviously nothing going on/you aren't that interested/she isn't that interested enlist her as a help. Ask her to introduce you to friends she thinks would like you. Like above, this means she is more likely to speak of you positively to other women and it helps you in your search.
k) Once you think you are interested in a particular girl, set a deadline. If you have not moved on to being a couple after 3 months of serious dating, why the Hell are you waiting? Even if you/she/both of you are saving sex for marriage, 90 days is more than enough time to determine if you will or won't be a couple (assuming you are calling/texting regularly and going out together at least once a week)
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>>34611278
8) Work
a) There is no honest job "beneath" you. If the job you want requires a year of experience, get another job for that experience.
--I know a guy that started at 15 walking along roads picking up bottles for the deposits; he moved on to scrap metal. Now he owns a salvage yard and is worth $4 million
b) You work to earn money. You are not there to make friends.
c) Learn what it takes to earn more money/get promotions/etc. Make a list and goals, like above, and work on that raise and promotion *even in a job you don't want to keep*
d) Don't break the law or compromise your morals
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>>34611429
9) Money
a) Make a realistic budget where you pay your bills, spend a small, reasonable amount on leisure, and set aside money for larger purchases
b) Every other nickle? Save it
c) savings should be in no fee, low tax investments whenever possible. T-bills are good for this. IRA accounts.
d) If your employer has 401(k) matching, max it out if you can. You get free money you can take with you if you leave.
e) If an investment sounds too good to be true, it is
f) used cars, consignment clothes, etc. are all best buys

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>>34610009
A few facts to encourage you-
-The majority of people who suffer from depression respond best to Cognitive Behavior Therapy: This means that these steps will be excellent in fighting depression
-"Normies" got social skills via early experience; you can match or beat this with practice and hard work
-Most women are NOT sluts, they are much like you in general with a different outlook from biology.
-"Normies" just have good habits of action and thought; you can easily match them with effort and practice
-Most first marriages last; most women never cheat; a surprising percentage of women only ever have sex with their husband
-'Hypergamy' really means 'women don't care nearly as much about a man's appearance as they do other things'. You have a real shot at a hot GF

>don't even have the patience to read all this
No hope for me

>>34611722
An excuse. And a poor one.
Just start small with a single thing

>>34611608
Is this the last one? I'm sick of waiting. And also what proof do you have that proves that some of this stuff works?

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>>34611902
Yes, that's the last one.
Most of this stuff is common knowledge among project managers, life coaches, military leaders, etc.
The 'written goals' thing is rather famous.
In 1979 Harvard did an analysis of their MBA graduates and learned that 84% had no firm long-term goals, 13% had long-term goals, but they weren't written down, and 3% had written goals.
The 13% with goals were outearning the 84% without them 2 to 1 while the 3% with written goals were earning 10 times as much as the other 97% combined.
Since then studies of written goals with frequent review prove that even people that have to be taught this habit are 12 times as likely to reach their long term goals as people that have goals and never write them down.
One of the reasons you aren't a "normie" is you either were never taught this or forgot it.

>>34612009
Nice! Trying it out next week monday

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>>34612009
Can i see a source on that study? That's interesting if true

Was a decent read except for number 7 which made me cringe. Going out and telling people you're looking for a wife will most likely intimidate girls.

>>34612216
this
it's solid advice except for the dating part, that's pure autism.

>>34612205
Here is a broad discussion
https://sidsavara.com/personal-productivity/why-3-of-harvard-mbas-make-ten-times-as-much-as-the-other-97-combined
This references tons of scholarly studies
https://hilt.harvard.edu/files/hilt/files/settinggoals.pdf

>>34612216
Intimdate which girls and why?

>>34612342
Do you *like* being in the friend zone?

>>34612403
>Do you *like* being in the friend zone?
always with the dichotomies on 4chan. Yes the friendzone exists but it's mostly idiots that refuse to leave after being rejected or that refuse to make a move

courting and romance have a lot to do with ambiguity. If you want to wife a girl you should tell her but not from the start.

>>34612574
You are mistaking "letting your friends know you are serious" with "First question - how many kids will we have?"

>>34612403
>Intimdate which girls and why?
How can you expect a girl to behave comfortably around you if she knows you're testing her?

>>34612403
Your ignorance is astounding. It's obvious you're projecting at this point.

>>34613260
Pal, women are always testing each other and they are always concerned with how they measure up.
Letting her know indirectly that you are serious and interested in commitment is far more important than pressure she'll feel anyway.

>>34613349
You have demonstrated nothing and what would I be projecting?
Me
>Don't let women use you for emotional support without giving anything in return
You
>You're projecting
I think that you don't actually understand the point being made