You guys ever actually gotten a blowjob? Shit's not good...

yeah, girls aren't very good at it. they use too much teeth and not enough tongue.

>OP pays hooker fifty bucks for a blowjob
>hooker realizes OP is a KHV neet
>hooker has OP take his dick out and she gently blows towards it for fifteen minutes
>hooker takes fifty
>hooker asks OP "what about my tip?"
>OP tips 20$
>hooker leaves

My dream is to get a blowjob, they seem like they'd be great

Where'd you cum, OP?

>>34576121
Aside from being a completly out of phase with what ever world sex exists in.

I dont trust a damn living thing on this planet enougj to put my dick in its mouth.
Never.

In fact id never put my dick in anythibg that is or has been alive ever.

>>34576121
>>34576131
Y'all just got shitty blowjobs then. When you get a really good blowjob it feels great better than sex imo

>>34576215
I've gotten head from a few different girls (NORMIES GET OUT RRREEEEEE) and only one of them got me off. I love that one though, she lets me worship her feet and everything.

>>34576121

>>34576131

That's what happens when you fall for the virgin gf meme.

I was the practice boyfriend/drunken mistake of a few sluts and god damn they had a phd in phallus fellatio

After that I could barely go back to regular sex unless the girl was on top, so it felt like she was giving me a blowjob with her pussy

>>34576262
The thrusting is the best part of sex. You can't skullfuck a girl without bleeding.

>>34576121
I got a few nice ones
the blower just needs to use their tongue on the head and its nice

>>34576121
had two blowjobs and both used to much teeth it fucking hurt, fuck me.

>>34576306
>On the head
Ew no on the frenulum
>>34576321
Our dicks are too big m8
Only pencilcocks like >>34576262 enjoy them

>>34576121
I used to completely agree with you. Most girls range between terrible and average. The ones that brag about giving great blowjobs are usually the worst. But then one day a girl gave me a blowjob that completely changed my opinion. She had the perfect rhythm and grip. My legs were shaking involuntarily for the last minute of it. It was the best thing I've ever felt in my life. Sadly, this only ever happened once with this girl and she now lives several states away and won't talk to me anyway.

bjs are the worst meme ive ever encountered irl

rather fucking jerk off

>>34576413
>t. cutfag with no nerve endings in his leathery dick who can only cum by slamming his dick in the refrigerator door

>>34576544
wrong

i need to use chain mail gloves

desu blowjobs just seem not that great unless the girl is really into it or just really likes giving them

Deep throat and face fucking seem infinitely better

Honestly, vaginas aren't that great. They feel pretty loose to me.

Am I alone in this?

>>34576609
You must've hooked up with some single moms that plopped out a few kids, or some grade-A sluts.


I can safely say that I have no problem with vaginas in general.

When I was a kid all I would masturbate to was the thought of a blowjob, how great it would be.

I've had 6 different girls suck on my pecker and I can say that only one would qualify as 'good'.

Two were decent (boring) and the rest were fucking terrible. Too much teeth, too slow and awkward as fuck.

The blowjob hype has been one of the biggest letdowns of my life.

>>34576900
The only good blowjob is a slow one, you fucking death gripping autist.

>>34576121
I had a blowjob in mental ward
crazy chicks are easy.

The trick is to not let her do it but fuck her face and mouth yourself. Pushing your cock against her cheek and feeling it blop out is really nice.

>>34577034
Not stop and start slow you mongoloid.

A nice consistant rhythm is all I ask.

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>I will never be turned into a gem
>I will never worship Yellow Diamond, infiltrate the filthy, traitorous crystal gems and destroy them.

It helps if you practice first. That's what I did with a friend. It's not gay if you think about girls. Then when we finally got girlfriends in high school we were really good at telling them how to do it to us.

KEK just wait until you virgins meet a girl with no gag reflex

>>34576121
I beg to differ. My gf was inexperienced but in a short time she got the hang of it and man, bjs were amazing

I miss her

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Story time

>be me
>sometime in early January
>girl I'm talking to wants sex
>I'm a 19 year old virgin so I say
>o h. F u c k. Y e s
>go to buy condoms
>show up at her house
>making out in my car turns into taking my pants off
>she starts sucking
>feels fantastic but I'm filled with anxiety
>goes on for 5 minutes nowhere near a nut
>starts riding me
>she's getting off but I'm not
>wtf??
>go doggy
>Anxiety still won't let me nut
>she finishes
>she asks me how was it
>"it was good"

Pretty pissed because I didn't nut, I went an hour and was nowhere near it. Feels bad

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>>34576544
What the hell

10/10 kekked out loud

>>34576121
>filename isn't "what's the use of feeling"

yes i have, last girl either didn't know how or i fapped to much :( she got away from me

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>>34576121
the only time ive ever managed sex was with a prostitute. from my experience vaginas are terrible and blowjobs are toptier. although, i did close my eyes and think of hentai while she did it.