>26 >mom caught me jacking off and smelling her used panties

>>34554416
>how do I spin this?

You come clean about how perverted you are and ask for forgiveness.

>>34554416
deny deny deny

always deny, it's the first and only and best rule

>>34554458
thinking this instead of first post. mike say they're a girlfriends panties, don't know how to make it believeable. I panicked when I was caught so she may see through it.

>>34554458
DUDE JUST LIE AND MAKE A BAD SITUATION WORSE

what?

>>34554416
Not only she caught you jerking off but she caught you with her panties. How unlucky are you, my nigga?

>>34554416
run

origenennalllllio

>>34554526
It's the only way i can jerk off. I have to be able to smell a woman. idk why

>>34554494
>mike say they're a girlfriends panties,

She already knows they're hers, come on man

>>34554416
Oh boy, you are fucked. Every time your mother looks at you from this point onward, she will see her son, bent-over and thrashing away at his manhood like some wild beast, with HER underwear smothering your face.

Wow. Oh boy...

you are a sexual man and have needs, nothing to apologize for

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>>34554416
Well, we used to call this a"troll"
Now we call it "bait"
>click bait

This can go badly wrong or doubleplusgood right.
Keep us updated.

>>34554416
since she's calling your dad, it's already over for you

pack your things

>>34554740
>doubleplusgood right

You used a made up word wrongly. Congrats.

Just heard my dad slam his car door with the strength of God and yell at my mother outside saying "Where. Is. He.".

Goodbye friends

>>34554898
RIP in peace OP

????-2017

>>34554898
vocaroo it nigga

>>34554898
Keep us updated if you're alive

ITT: OP gets his ass handed to him by his own father

>>34554898
Punch him in the face and knife him. Fuck your mum

>>34554416
This is BS and belongs on /x/ TIMESTAMP panties or full of shot, if no panties post cock and timestamp. No proof you guys kiled /r9k/

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>>34554416

If you was a chad = she would get horny off the idea you were fapping it to her panties and would not tell her husband, she might tell her friends though

If you was average = She would find it pretty awful you were fapping it to her panties but probably would let it slide and not tell her husband and just get a warning

If you ugly she would find it absolutely disgusting you was fapping to her panties and would tell her husband immediately because that is how much she hates you.

So which is it OP?

>>34555002
>no proof

His story sounds really typical though, I've done this shit numerous times

>>34554898
inb4 anon's mom is a rat

>>34554416
Just be honost tell them you thought she had cancer becuase you could smell something "off" about her and you noticed a gross smell from panties and thought she had ovarion cancer.

As I'm typing this I forgot you were jerking off.. ok got you tell them you were checking your penis to make sure you didnt have it eather.

>>34554881
Thanks buddy, meant a lot to me.

>>34555062
>ovarian cancer
>checking penis for it
???

>>34554416
She is calling your dad to set up a MMF threesome. Best get ready

Own up about jerking it but say you randomly noticed the panties in your room and checked to see if they were clean. I'm not sure if that'll work, it may be a stretch but it might diffuse some of the situation

>>34555052
His story is shit, at least

>>34554416
You can timestamp something you fuck boi

>>34555082
Yes tell them you had a funny smell coming from your penis and you didnt want to sniff dads undies bec well thats fucking gay.

>>34554416
Tell her you thought they were your sisters, it's less degenerate, only way out of this I can see

>Deflect it, tell your father that your mother has been trying to get you off, including leaving used panties on your desk and she knows full well what she's doing

>>34555062
I mean its pretty degenerate but might work

>>34554416
Just tell them you were doing it as a dare on youtube or some shit and were going to mame 500 bucks out of it.

>>34554685
yes a man has his needs to sniff his mothers panties, jesus christ

>>34555227
if he is like me masturbating to porn everyday your tastes change to keep it intensely pleasurable, it would be strange if he hadn't moved onto his moms panties by now

>>34555133
I use to sniff my dads boxers, sometimes I would smel my moms pussy on them after they had sex was pretty hot, never got caught though.

>>34555275
im as robot as the next guy, i probably masturbate twice a day to porn.
but even i draw the line at my own mother

OP is getting his ass kicked as we fucking speak.

>>34555380
it's not about you really wanting to fuck your own mother, it's the fact that the fantasy is taboo, it creates a bigger rush of dopamine, much like CP

serial killers have the same kind of brain OP and I do, we need ever greater fucked up things to get us off

>>34555409
hes dead jim
original comment

Let me know what happens OP I wanna hear how badly the beatdown was

>>34555409
i really hope he has the balls to try and get back to the computer

>>34555460

Probably not. He's probably in there either getting beat the fuck up or packing up his shit.

>>34555446
OP... What a pussy he was. Couldn't even beat up his dad despite being younger

You deserve it.

Hope you enjoy the cold.

>>34555492
how can you be so caIIous?

>>34555498
because he is a normie and this board is infested with them

>>34554708
It's fake as fuck but better than 90% of the shit threads we get now.

>>34554416
why are you asking advice on a board specifically for losers and autists?
jesus man
anyways just say that you bought them online because you thought they were hot

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>>34555665
so close
kek has forsaken me

>>34555535
i'm just disappointed there's no follow through

>>34555665
HIs mom obviously knows they are her panties, what the fuck are you talking about

>>34555776
then he leaves the house
no way outta this one
some things can't be excused

>>34555041
>Left: Whore w/ destroyed pussy | 30+ partners
>Middle: Most innie | Probably 6 partners tops
>Right: Lips are just starting to spill out | 10 - 15 partners, depends how many were black

I'm calling it, op got a smackdown and is ded. Rip OP

>>34555912
If only that's how it worked

>>34554416
post a pic of yourself op, I need to see what a pathetic piece of shit looks like

Your best bet is to claim that you were imagining that they belonged to another girl and not your mom.

>>34556049
What? Are my numbers off?

>>34555178
this is the only solution. not sure why you greentexted though anon.

Back briefly. Got yelled at and my dad started beating the hell out of me. Got a bloody nose, until my mom had him stop. Never seen him like that. Packing up my room. They were watching me for awhile but my mom started crying and said she couldn't even look at me.

Can't keep my Desktop even though I bought it with my own money. Gonna see if I can sneak out without giving up my phone. May phonepost later.

Hoping this is temp and they take me back if I look sorry. They told me to go to my friend "Brian's" apartment. They don't realize I lied about having a friend named Brian so i can use the car to go out and look like I have a social life. May just go around the block and tryto sneak in the garage since it snowed this morning/afternoon.

Like I said. will post later.

>>34557126
Post pic of bloody nose.

I really want to believe you, OP.

>>34557126
They can't tell you whether or not you can keep it if you bought it with your own money.

>>34557126

Pics or didn't happen

Timestamp also

OP you really dun goofd this time

>>34557126
>letting your parent's take the desktop YOU paid for.

lmao I wish a nigga would. stop being a cuck faggot.

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>>34557126
>i want to believe
God i hope this isnt bait

>>34557248

It's not bait. It's LARP.

>>34554416
masturbating to your mother's panties seems to be a pretty common occurrence in males who live at home and don't have strong external female presence. In the end it's probably your mom's fault you're this way regardless. She failed to prepare you for a lifetime of socialization with the opposite sex and the world in general and then has the audacity to be "disgusted" that you have to satiate your human desires with the only female near you.

Are your parents boomer's? My mom might tell me to stop if she ever caught me when I was a teen, but she'd never throw me out. You're probably stunted mentally and sexually, but it's that whores fault (and your dad too of course).

>references:
http://discussion.femalefirst.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=308525

http://www.circleofmoms.com/kids-over-10/14-year-old-son-secretly-smelling-my-worn-thongs-how-to-deal-with-it-701470

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/son-stealing-my-dirty-panties-to-relieve-himselfhelp.html


your mom will probably get off at the thought of you masturbating to her pheromones anyway.

>>34554416
Tell her they aren't her panties.

It's the only thing you can do.

>>34557126
>i can use the car

heh. bring it back in three days. sleep in it in a parking lot somewhere.

>>34557126
>May just go around the block and tryto sneak in the garage since it snowed this morning/afternoon.

Don't do that OP, they'll just call the cops and you'll end up in jail.

Just find some woods, a nice place in a dense thicket so the wind won't bother you too much. Make a makeshift tent with some blankets, shovel out the snow, and get comfy.
The woods are your friend. If you live in eastern US, catbriars (green thorny vines) should still have some fruit on them, look for some plantain leaves (they're weeds, they grow everywhere, good source of vitamin a) to eat, might be able to find some acorns to break open and eat the nutmeat inside, or even some black walnuts.
Be careful about fires, police might find you, best just to huddle up in your clothes.
Do you have a knife, or some kind of tool?

>>34554458
This. It didn't happen. You have no idea what she's talking about. You weren't sniffing her panties, in fact you weren't sniffing any panties.

It's called gas lighting and it's impressively effective

>>34557624
>dad believes his wife
>dad believes his autistic man child son
Yeah I wonder how this will go down

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>moms literally force you to touch their vaginas and live inside them for almost a year
>force you to suck on their titties
>grossed out because you miss their smell

wow women are retarded

>>34555275
>it would be strange if he hadn't moved onto his moms panties by now
This is why you're on this website.

>tfw someone has a worse life than me

>>34557585
not good advice for someone with no outdoors experience, he's going to wind up frozen

>>34557363

>i can't be held accountable for my actions because my behavior is a product of my upbringing, hence it is my mother's fault

that wouldn't hold up in court retard. if this were a valid argument, then it wouldn't be fair to hold any person accountable for any of their actions.

>>34557752
Better than getting arrested.
Sometimes death is a blessing.

>>34555041
bet all 3 of those girls fucked 1 guy at that porno shot
>bububuht guise dur 80/20 rule naht rite most guise arrr naht virdgens

>>34554416
you should kill yourself you autistic fuck

>>34557856
I realize that you're probably some edgy teen who thinks they're trolling the 4chanz, but this is probably OP's only viable course.
If I were thrown out into the street, I would kill myself. It's better than being forced to scrounge through dumpsters and get in fights with other hobos over sleeping spots and getting mugged by thugs.

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>>34555275
>it would be strange if he hadn't moved onto his moms panties by now
he's speaking like hes a professional. did you read what you typed

>>34557831
Bet you all of them received money for it as well. Nothing to do with 80/20 when they're getting paid.

>>34557899
Fuck oath man. I'd rather die than live like an animal

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>>34557919
it's like you want to be yelled at for being a greedy whore

>>34557126
If you paid for your desktop fucking keep it.

>>34555275
Tastes in porn can't change, you just get better at finding what you like. Since I'm not retarded I know what I like, so my tasted haven't changed in years of fapping. You're just a freak in denial.

welp phone posting now. I have a small box, backpack, satchel and rolling suitcase. Gonna head to the train station to see if I can get on the inside.

Didn't have much to say when leaving, it turned from explosive rage to a scary quiet simmering hatred from what I saw. Last coherent dad said after calling me a fucked-in-the-head 12 different ways was calmy expressing that "Everything about you has been a fucking mistake."

i was playing it cool until that, but it hurts a lot now. Have 1100 in my bank account don't know what to do with that or if it can even help. Feeling lower than I thought I would. Figured I'd be able to make it play like a misunderstanding. The deny, deny, deny tactic didn't work at all. may just lay my head down on the train tracks if one comes along and I can't sleep inside the station. Probably too old and out of shape for the military.

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>>34558008
>Everything about you has been a fucking mistake

>>34558008
IF this isn't a joke, then don't give up just yet.

First of all find a SAFE place to store your valuable shit. If you can't find a place to sleep in, I suggest heading to a homeless shelter.

How long do you reckon the 1100 will last?

>>34558008
Can I keep the 1100 tho

>>34558008
You can enlist in the army until 35.

GO FOR IT.

>>34558008
>too old and out of shape for the military

How old are you?

>1100 in my bank account

Do you have exclusive access to it?

>don't know what to do with that or if it can even help

Get a fucking room for the night, dipshit.

>>34558008
Got what you deserve, normie shit.

Never put lust above the respect and privacy of blood. Is it so hard to just behave while being a useless piece of shit?

From one NEET to another, you deserve it.

>>34558008
>sniffs moms panties while fapping
>feeling lower than i thought I would
herrrr durrrrrr

>>34558008
I don't know why but this reminds me of the time I accidentally picked up a girl's panties. I was doing laundry and somehow, they accidentally slipped in their during the previous session's load. I found it while I was collecting my stuff from the dryer, and freaked the fuck out. Someone else was in the room with me, so I got scared, panicked and stuffed the panties in my pocket. I took it back with me to my room (I live in a dorm), and didn't know what to do. There was no point sniffing them since they were newly washed. In the end, I snuck out at night and threw them in the dumpster.

The panties were beige in color, and were very thin. Not full thong, but I imagine if someone with a full enough ass wore them, then the back lines would completely be buried in between her ass cheeks.

>>34558008
>dad has kid
>excited to raise Chad who goes to college and gets good job, starts family
>instead gets 26 year old NEET using 4chan and sniffing moms panties

Lol, I truly [don't want to] wonder what it would be like to be your dad today. what a failure family

smelling panties = deserve to die

PURE IDEOLOGY
u
r
e

i
d
e
o
l
o
g
y

>>34558179
>I put my own sexual gratification above respecting the sancticity of my families privacy and belongings.


hmmm

thats a hard choice

why are your parent's such prudes?

OP please keep us updated. I'm invested in your failure as a son and person.

>>34557940
>>34557899
>not killing the dad then kiling yourself just to let your snitching mom go through that for the rest of her life

>>34557777
Czech'd
My favorite herb is oregano.

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A-At least he wasn't wearing them!

Panty Sniffer = Straight as an arrow
Trapfu = Degenerate

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>>34554416
>>26
>>mom caught me jacking off and smelling her used panties
>>can hear her calling my dad on the phone now
>>locked my door
>>going to probably get kicked out
>how do I spin this? i'm actually scared and don't have a job to support myself.

OP, you might as well Benoit your family at this point.

I wonder if his parents are going to look through his desktop, that would probably be worse than what he was caught doing

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>>34558179
t. Stirner
originalio

>>34558200
>I put my ideological honor above the continuance of my bloodline

hmmm

the cucked life

yeah sure, op fucked up. his parents fucked up worse.

>>34558082
>Do you have exclusive access to it?
Key question. If you don't, change the online banking password now and contact the bank first thing in the morning before your parents have the opportunity to withdraw your money.

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hey hey hey OP you should spend the rest of your cash on escorts, at least you will have some fun in this life

Lol this is your moms fault

Why would a woman leave her panties out in a house with young males? Does she know you are a virgin? if so, would be obvious your testosterone is raging and this is pretty typical.

Her fault. Also you are trolling but its still 100% her fault in the story

>>34558265
>Implying we're killing OP and not just making him responsible for his actions.
>Can't respect the sancticity of the free family household then you spend time out of it.

Nice try, normie lust driven cuck.

>>34558287
his money would be better spent buying panties from his mom

>>34558297
On top of this,

when you don't sniff women's panties they get upset males do not give them attention

When you do they throw drama and kick her own kid out of the house

Pathetic

>>34558303
the joke is that the dad is just pissed that his son was getting some more action with mom than him

>>34558177
His dad is at least as big a failure as OP himself. Anyway OP, post proof or stop making shit up.

kill yourself
boom, problem solved

>>34558048
>How long do you reckon the 1100 will last?

a bit less than a week if he wants a roof over his head

>>34558008

First thing you need to do is get your ass onto craigslist and get yourself a crappy apartment or room with a roommate. Be casual in the email, just say you're interested in coming to check out the apartment. Don't bother telling them your life story. Just act like you're shopping for a car. Next step after securing a place to sleep is to get your ass a job if you don't already have one. It doesn't need to be a good one. Anything will do as long as it keeps your ass alive. Your coworkers could be the biggest pieces of shit you will ever meet, but no matter what you do, don't fucking stand up for yourself and keep working hard unless it looks like you're already gonna get fired, then save your fucking pride and move on. Same rule applies for job applications. Tell them just enough, and move on. Next thing after that is to get a car. Honda is the best brand for you. Get it old and get a good mechanic who reliably fixes your problems. If you can't afford a car or you don't make enough to save up for one, then enroll in a community college, take the pell grant and all the loans you can get, and use them to get your ass some wheels. Welcome to life. It's fucking hard.

>>34558373
Fuck this faggot OP, just go ahead and kill yourself.

>>34558177
>Do nothing with your child
>Expect them to grow into Chad on their own

>>34558008

Some laundry places are open overnight and are warm inside, just another option for you.

Rattier parts of bigger cities, like china town or something, would have cheap hotels you can rent for like, $40 a day. Also a place to get some footing if you have a bit of money.

>>34557363
>tfw my mom is disgustingly obese and I can't do this

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>>34558373
Fuckin rite on m8

This is originoli

>>34558864
who be this semon demon

>>34558066
Dubs of truth here, OP. Go talk to the recruiters tomorrow. The air force, navy, and coast guard are your best bets. Army is the least selective.

>>34558889
Fuck wish i knew bud... forgot to ask when i saved it.... :((((

>>34557363
Doesnt this just justify him being kicked out?

>>34556127
so whats the difference between a girl thats fucked 30 different guys once... vs a girl thats fucked 1 guy 100 times?

>>34557983
it's not changing so much as expanding to chase excitment

>>34554416
I'm really sorry dude. I wish I could help you out, this is a really shirty thing to get kicked out over.

This is one of those situations where I wish I was rich so that I could toss you some money and help you get a safe place to stay. Please hang in there anon....if you want an honest opinion I don't think you really did anything wrong. You didn't hurt anyone. You didn't break any laws. Was it a little perverted? Yes. Is it any more perverted than what your mom and dad did at their age? No.

If your dad ever calms done enough for you to explain, stress that it wasn't the fact that it was your mom's panties that made you do it, it was just because you were horny and you think panties are hot. Even if that's a lie, it seems like a reasonable person would be able to understand.

Let me know if you need someone to vent to on kik or steam, or if you need advice or something. I'm sorry I can't do more anon.