ITT: Post the most awkward moment in your life

>>34548976
What the fuck? This kind of thing just makes me rage. You did nothing wrong, you shouldn't cringe.

>>34549012
>did nothing wrong
...except fap so much that he couldn't walk. I've never fapped to the point of persistent pain, and I rarely go more than a day without jackin it. His mum was an absolute cunt for telling other people about it, though.

>>34548976
yeah, that doesn't sound like it's ethical or so on. isn't like patent privacy a thing, even when you're 14?

>>34548976
Did you kill your mom? If you didn't you're a failure

>>34549326
She's dead for me it that counts ;-;

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>> Be 13.
>> In that wonderous age where the internet had just started to have porn proliferate everywhere and I had discovered masturbation.
>> Look at porn on dial-up and beat off under my desk constantly.
>> Didn't know sperm kind of just stays and strains and crusts everywhere. Never looked under my desk after months of just beating off into the carpet.
>> One day we have to move.
>> I come home and find my mother scrubbing out this giant stain-puddle of dried sperm from the carpet under my desk.
>> She makes eye contact with me while she is scrubbing and says nothing.
>> I say nothing and leave the room then finish the job when she finally gives up, since it's like two whole years of spunk.
>> To this day this memory haunts me even though I'm not really ashamed of it.

>>34548976
Exactly how often are we talking here?

>>34549413
Jesus Christ anon, I feel you

>>34549472
Like, twice a day, and that kind of quick and shameful masturbation you do when you're on your grandma's house and you try to cum quick just to feed the beast

>>34549514
How did you not smell it everytime you went to the computer.

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>idk when but I was like 13
>didn't have internet in home yet but had HBO and would fap to nude or sex scenes in movies in the living room when no one else was home
>one day do the deed and brother comes back home early
>no time to clean up really, just change the channel to like cartoon network and pull pants back up
>cum filled tissues still on the floor
>older brother walks past couch with shoes off, steps on tissues
>gives me a disgusted look
>"Anon, next time throw your fucking tissues away after you blow your nose, this is disgusting."
>mfw he apparently thought my old cold cum was snot
>mfw still don't know if he actually thought it was snot or just didn't wanna call me out on it

>>34549413
She obviously wanted to fuck

>>34548976
sue the hospital for breaching patient confidentiality, make big bucks

>>34549656
You know, sometimes I think so. After we moved I often slept on the couch, just because I liked it more than my bed. One morning I woke up with my mother walking away from me and my cock standing out all proud from my boxers. I still tell myself I had exposed morning wood and my mother was trying to be decent and cover me up. To be honest I don't really know if that's the truth.

>fapping so much your balls hurt

Is this really a thing?

>>34549758
If you gorilla fist your dick and fap with the intesity of a meth head yes.

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>>"Anon, next time throw your fucking tissues away after you blow your nose, this is disgusting."
Kek. He probably had to clean the cum off his foot. Good story anon