Have you ever keyed someones car? Why did you do it?

Nah, im not a cunt

>>34542629
I keyed my step-father's car when I was 7, because he kept being a dick to me and my mother

I kicked off someones wing mirror when I was 15. Why? Because my mate tried to smash it off so I showed that pussy how it's done

>>34542629
>>34542629

When i was like 12 on a school trip I keyed someones car in-front of the whole class
It was the best kind of punishment, I was met with a dozen angry looks from my classmates and my teacher just gave me a terrible glare and nothing more. I was shamed hard.

I did it because I felt like it, I had it in my head that now I posses house keys, I can key cars. I was a stupid kid who didn't think ahead.

I store my keys in my pussy, so it's hard to get at them without fully exposing my genitals and butt (I wear exclusively onesies). Therefore I have not had the opportunity to key a car. Why, is it fun?

>being that jealous

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One time at the airport some fag with a huge raised truck was blocking 2 parking spots. I squeezed in and slammed my door into his truck. When I landed back home a few days later, his truck was still there so I did it again and drove home.

>>34542629

Yep. 2008. I had an apartment with assigned parking spaces in an underground garage. It was filled to capacity with the tenants cars. One saturday I came home wasted from bar hopping and a honda civic with pink flower shit hung around the rearview mirror was in my spot. Now I'd have to park in the street a block away. Pissed off and drunk, I keyed the shit out of that thing (everywhere), peed on the driver side door, and stuck a wad of bubblegum on the windshield. I felt much better after doing so.

>>34542629
accidentally ran my bike into some parked car
caved the door in and left a huge scratch
moved out of state after that wonder what happened

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>>34542679
Wow anon, you sure sound cool as HECK

>>34542658
You sure? Your mother is.

I once hit a parked car with my bike because I was looking backwards and mocking a friend

I think I left a couple of dents on it but I'm not sure, I hopped back on and rode away as fast as I could before the owner saw that

Not keying, but my dad once stopped me from smashing a car with a small bat because they'd always park at one of the garage's entrances to go to a restaurant nearby and I'd get mad every time

That day I was particularly angry and saw one parked right on the entrance, I grabbed my bat and walked to the door and dad grabbed me by the shoulder and took it before I could get out

Only women key cars. Fucking children.

>>34543042
Is this what we're doing now? Commenting on the thread topic and then saying one of our hobbies? OK...

Never keyed a car. Snowboarding.

>>34542879
I rode into a parked car once. The care was fine but I split my scrotum open.

>>34542629
I keyed a poorfag's car when I was 11. I didn't know better and I just did it because I felt like it. Years later I saved money and put it under his front door with a letter saying: "Sorry I keyed your car years ago. I hope this helps you in some way."

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>>34543089
Impressive bants game here lad

I once kicked in a row of cars' wing mirrors while drunk. It's only now I realise that all I did was fold them in, causing an absolute minimum of inconvenience.

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Any of you ever Creed someone's car?

>>34542629
No. only a nigger would do that. That's one fucking dick move.

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>>34542726
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WHY ARE YOU HELLBENT ON CORRUPTING THE HIVE?
I know you don't believe it, but this isn't necessary

>>34543699
How about you use your tongue to make my fucking dick move

>>34542629
>Have you ever keyed someones car?
No.
>Why did you do it?
I said I didn't do it, you fucking idiot.

>>34542629
I'm a Muslim and after Trumps election someone keyed a swastika into my car and the words "towelheads get out".

This is Trumps America. This is the world we live in now. I'm literally shaking.

>>34544734

LEAVE YOU FUCKING SHITSKIN RAT

>>34544778
Shut up faggot.
>>34544734
You aight my nigga.

>>34542817
That'll teach that roastie a lesson

>>34544851

It was the second time it had happened, so I wasn't fucking around anymore. i knew they couldn't do anything about it either because who ever parked their wasn't a tenant and was basically trespassing at their own risk.

>>34544981
You weren't fucking around? So you don't take after your mother then.

>>34545048
>Ya mum
Watch out, a footballer got nutted for that kind of talk

>>34545131
Hope he had nut insurance

>>34544734
>I'm literally shaking.
Hi Leddit!

>aaaand smoking crack

>driving out of parking lot
>2 fat bitches in an audi driving the wrong way around the parking lot, blocking me
>start honking at me
>start shouting loads of verbal abuse at me
>back up
>let them park
>get out of my car and key the words "FAT WHORE" along the whole side of the car once they left
>leave, laugh to myself on the drive home

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>>34542629
I Want to key some bitch Stacy's car t.bh

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>>34544734
GET OUT RAGHEAD SCUm

>>34545306
shut up dickbutt. you go.

>>34545048

Clever.

Originalissimo

>>34544734
kek... "towel-heads gt out

>>34544734
Whatcha doin' Imam?

>>34542721
>I was met with a dozen angry looks from my classmates
What kind of faggy uptight school did you go to?
Sounds like your classmates have no idea what fun is

If I see anyone keying my car I will fucking shoot them. Im not even joking. I'll take the prison sentence.

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>>34542879
>>34542939
>bikefags

This is why nobody likes you faggots. Get rammed off the road and die soon.

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>>34545630
HAHAHAHAHA, SURE YOU WILL HAHAHHAHAHA
WEEEEW.... thanks anon. I really need that laugh. You made my day.

>>34545660

huge, gargantuan, lumbering, large, giant, sizable, immense, enormous, colossal, tremendous fatass detected.

>>34545630

that's wrong because you have to leave your gun in the car to go into most any building so when you're returning to your vehicle and see someone keying your car you won't be able to get your gun before they flee.

>>34545820
that's why you get 2 cars and have an assistant drive the other car around wherever you go so if someone is keying one of your cars you get your gun from the other car, retard.

>>34545801

>walk everywhere I go

You belong on a ranch with the other fatass barn animals you bike riding sissy.

>>34545801

Wow people insulting bicyclists must really hurt you if that's how you react to it.

>>34543681
With arms wide open

I used to slash tires and steal hood ornaments but then some gangster caught me vandalizing his car and sent me on an illegal gambling cruise ship and I lost my fingers.

>>34545820
No? Even if businesses are legally allowed to prevent you from carrying a gun on the premises all you have to do is say you didn't see the notice and the most they can do is ask you to leave. In the event of a court case about it it will be impossible to prove you saw the notice.

>>34546013

idiot, not every structure is a business. if anon needs to go to a hospital, school, police station, etc. he will be powerless to stop the car keyer.

>>34546081
>Willingly setting foot in government controlled buildings

>>34546124
>Willingly setting penis in his own son's butt
(your dad does that)

>>34543089
That was some good wordplay.

>>34544734
thank you for correcting the record

also no I have never keyed a car and would never

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I poured sugar into the gastank of some wigger who ripped me off on weed. His daddy was pretty pissed that he had to get his Volvo towed 4 hours away to get it fixed