/ComFeels/ General

>>34536608
Been struggling with this for the past few days.
>went on a first date with a girl over a month back
>thought it went well, had fun, etc
>when I asked her to hang out again a couple of times she gave standard "busy" excuses
>accept that she's not into me, move on, don't think about it for a month. no big deal
>two days ago she texts me out of the blue asking if I want to hang out saturday
>cautiously say yes
>not feeling too jazzed going into the date, still pretty sure she's not into me
>spend the whole night second guessing myself and everything I do
>pull up outside her apartment to drop her off
>all I can think to myself is "when the fuck did I become so bad at this?"
>assume this will be the last time we talk
>next thing I know she's leaning in and kissing me
>"good night anon"
>oh shit, was not expecting that
>drive of feeling pretty good for the first time in awhile
>this morning, having breakfast with my roommate who works with her
>the date comes up and I mention how confused I am
>he tells me that after our first date, she told him that she likes me, but sees me as someone she would end up in a relationship with and doesn't want a relationship right now
>well, there goes that fleeting moment of happiness
Why would she even ask me out again, much less kiss me, if that's how she's feeling? I fucking hate feelings. It's so much easier to sit in my comfy bedroom and be a hermit.

>>34536652
Sounds like she changed her mind about wanting a relationship anon... You should be g2g.

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Ive got a bad case of existential depression, nothing seems fun to me anymore, not going to school, and im a fat, repulsive slob with a shitty personality.

Im quickly running out of things to do, ive done everything on my bucket list except for getting laid, and getting high. Im a betafag so getting laid is out of the picture, and i dont know any dealers so i cant get high. what do?

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Here's my comfy bedroom. Not pictured: atmospheric music.

Sorry for the shit collage, did it on my phone.

>>34536813
Go to the nearest uni and ask 10 people if they have a weed hook (literally just walk up to them and ask). You should get one or two hits at least. From there, ask those hooks if they know acid hooks. Acid could do you well friendo.

>>34536813
Have you thought about working out anon? I know it can seem daunting, but improving your physical appearance can go a long way in building your self confidence in social situations.

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"She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together."

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"You used to tell me we'd turn into something
Oh, you said life was much better than this
Yeah, but the closest I've come to perfection
Is when you turned around to steal a kiss"

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"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

------------------

>been having mental break downs lately
>social anxiety becoming so bad i cant even function normally
>feel like normies are making fun of me all the time
>dead inside
>lonely
>close to suicide 4 times in one month
>wanna lock myself in my room and never come out

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"Turn the light out, say goodnight. No thinking for a little while. Let's not try to figure out everything at once."

>>34536860
th-this is...so beautiful

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"Who knows, is this the start of something wonderful and new? Or one more dream I cannot make true?"

>>34536652
Seems like she likes you but she's too scared to get serious. It's normal, especially if she's been hurt badly before.

>>34537193
Thank you anon. It's about the only place i feel relaxed these days

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"I don't belong in a world where we don't end up together."

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"We were only kids then"

Sneaking booze tonight. Supposed to be dry on week nights. I don't know why I did it. I think it's because I didn't move the rum to the garage like I have been doing on Monday mornings. It's there, everyone falls asleep.

Enjoying a brand new show. So that's nice. I am going to be good for the rest of the week. I a ging to move the Liquor to the garage on Mondays from now on.

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I moved to Japan 3 weeks ago for school. I'm living alone and have no friends here, so the isolation is bringing a ton of depression with it. My money is really limited so I can't go out all the time and do social stuff, so I end up staying in my apartment every day aside from going to school. I spend most days just browsing the internet, reading books, and playing vidya. Part of me is proud of making this huge leap in coming here, but another part of me wants to go home and just be in my familiar places.

>>34537553
Why are you supposed to be dry on weeknights?

>>34537655
Why don't you try making some friends in class anon? That way they can take you out to new places and keep you company. You should be proud of yourself, not many people would do what you did.

>>34537684
To save money mostly. It's not good to just drink every night, even if I handle my shit. I like to drink every night. I figure I will save a lot of money, and be more functional in the mornings if I limit my drinking to weekends.
I don't get the shakes or anything, and I have been enjoying the vivid dreams I have when I finally fall asleep sober. But when it's there I just want it.

>>34537743
Gotcha. Well I'm glad to hear that it's not a more serious issue anon.

>>34537684

I'll probably try to make some friends in class soon. It's hard, but I know I've gotta do it. There's a sort of qt girl from England that likes vidya, so I might try to talk to her more if I can.

>>34537842
Go for it man. What do you have to lose? You're a stranger in a strange land.

>>34536860
Looks good luis

>>34536652
You really need to leave. I know this is a comfy thread but get off my board.

>>34536860
your living the dream annon
thats a nice place where'd you get your posters

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To summarize

>am basically a mute
>was going to phys therapy (over nothing serious)
>phys therapist I had was my age and technically a student
>was somehow able to talk to him without completely spilling my spaghetti
>was genuinely a highlight of my week having someone to talk to
>all the stars and planets aligned to give me numerous moments and signs that I should talk to him
>I still fucked it up

Today was my last day there and I didn't say what I wanted to say (basically that I wanted to stay in contact as friends). I didn't know how to phrase it and was too sad to say anything at all so I reverted to mute mode. I'm so disgusted with myself.

Having said that, he said a million times that if I had any questions I could email him. Is it too late or should I give up? I don't know how to email people properly.

I also have a gift for him I need to drop off but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

>>34537655
do you know japaneese
>>34538318
that sucks try normie book

>>34538346
I barely use normiebook and even if I managed up the guts to add him I still wouldn't know what to say.

Even though I know I can probably easily keep in contact if I were normal, I still feel like I completely failed.

>>34536608
>trying to get neetbux while i look for a job is such an
effort ive been to the place 4 times and each time i need something new
its a pain in the ass
>looking for a job but i've got nothing to wear to a job interview
my only pair of shoes my friend nicknamed the hobbo shoes because they're 2 years old
>I've gone from full blown robot to almost normie in three months
since i moved out of my toxic parents house
>also i hit on someone but was to drunk to think about getting their number

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Anyone here like to listen to Alan Watts or Terence Mckenna lectures to wind down their day?

Both of them always make me feel comfy and ease my stress tremendously

>>34537162
That's sad. I hope life gets better for you anon.

>>34537655
Where in Japan are you anon?

Everyday I wake with the feeling like I'm waiting for something new to happen, and nothing ever does. I'm struggling with the fact that I'm coasting in life right now when I'd rather be moving forward. I keep thinking something like a gf will fix my motivation problem but at the end of the day, I'm just struggling with myself.

>know I should get a job to regain some motion/direction in life
>I haven't done anything since I dropped out of school
>it's been three years since I've talked to people that aren't family
>I have no idea how to get a job
>I would probably fuck it up and get fired anyway
Probably just gonna anhero when my birthday comes around

Finally, time to contribute.

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>>34540158
Heres some pictures

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>>34540178
Another one for you mates

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>>34540185
Going to just continuing dumping what I have

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>>34540191
"And everything was still, if only for a moment"

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>>34540203
"We're just going around and around and..."

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>>34540214
"I am stuck(?)"

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>>34540223
"I can't be all alone?"

>>34539145

every night when i go to sleep

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>returning to the city for uni soon
>on probation
>if i fail this semester i get kicked out
>probably going to fail
>no backup plans or aspirations

>>34536885
This. But it can fuck you up too.

>>34540622
The ocean is inviting in that case. That's what ive considered anyway

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She said "I love you" for the first time last night. I've been in the clouds ever since.

>>34542190
lol dude stop with the weird quotes

>>34538289
Ordered two of them on Amazon and found the other in some shitty souvenir store off Hollywood Boulevard.