Public Bathroom Stories

did hitler really meet the ayys though?
discuss

>>34523981

They agreed to conquer the galaxy together, but Hitler didn't hold up his end of the bargain, i.e. winning the war.

>In upstairs part of colleges computer building
>Urge to piss and shit
>Run to bathroom and go into first stall that is open
>Unleash the beast
>I sneeze before sitting down and my shit went on the center pipe
>I am also peeing at the same time but can't sit down because of shit on toilet
>Dick isn't long enough to aim piss into toilet
>Am disgusted with myself
>Still have too wipe
>No toilet paper so use socks
>Hide socks inside empty toilet paper roll
>There is still pee and shit everywhere but wanna go home and cry and shower
>Walk out of stall and a black paraplegic person in wheelchair is waiting for me to get out
>Realized my mess was in the handicapped bathroom
>Rush out and don't wash hands
>Here yelling from bathroom as I'm running downstairs
>Walk to car and go home defeated

>be me last week
>banned from mall for reasons
>really have to pee
>walk through foodcourt fastest entrance and exit
>straight to bathroom
>pull out peepee and standing at urinal
>security gaurd pulls on my shoulder while im peeing
>pee all over my pants
>escorted out forcefully
>im saving up pee bottles right now and im going to dump them all over

>At rugby game
>Halftime
>Wall is lined with urinals
>Everyone stands still and looks directly forward, pissing like robots
>I walk up to urinal slap my hand on the wall and lean on it while pissing like a champ
>As I leave some kid looks at me
>Get in line for more beer

>taking shit at uni
>someone comes in and enters the stall next to me
>rip a fart
>"S-steve?"
>"Andy!?"
>"LOL dude"

>>34524547
wew

oerihfoe

>At uni
>Has headphones on
>Goes to the one and only lockable single person restroom on campus because social anxiety
>Restroom has one toilet and one urinal
>Unknowingly doesn't press the click to lock thing on door handle enough and door remains unlocked
>Unzips and begins using urinal
>Chad enters peripheral vision and starts using the toilet next to the urinal
>Anon freaks out and zips up while still urinating
>Washes hands
>Storms out
>Goes home to switch pants and misses lab

Also, a classic from bash

><cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
><cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
><cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
><cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
><emoti_conartist> lol
><cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
><cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
><cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
><emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
><cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
><cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
><cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
><cassius_clay13> and runs away
><cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

>>34524593
Why are you banned anon, explain