Autistic shit you've done

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I STILL DO THIS FUCK
AND THEN MY LEG ACTUALLY HURTS LATER

>4th grade
>trying to look cool
>running with arms behind naruto-style
>other kids think it looks cool
>pretty soon half the class is running like this in gym
>tfw I gave 15 children autism

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>be me 8th grade
>waiting for the bus after school
>popular girl comes to the bus stop with her friends
>"oh shit I don't have any bus fare, can I borrow some change anon"
>All I had was a twenty dollar bill
>give it to her
>"aww thanks anon"
>hear her talking to her friends "when someone gives you $20, you take it"

I still think about it sometimes when I can't sleep. She was a bitch to me all the time I don't know why I gave it to her.

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>be me 8th grade male
>camping trip with school
>in tent with male crush
>time to sleep
>start rubbing him and eventually his dick
>suck him off without saying anything
>wake up next morning
>everyone knows

i still wanna die

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>>34486636
was so desperate for porn I use to draw my own and masturbate to it.

>mfw the thought of it crosses my mind

>>34486946
how old were you and what was the quality?

>>34486895
WHAT A FUCKING FAGGOT HOLY SHIT DUDE TELL ME THIS IS BAIT?

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>be a kid
>play sonic a lot
>decide I wanted to be sonic
>ran around the playground, bending my knees inwards so my ankle makes a circular motion like sonic's run

>>34486946
I would like to see some or if you don't have any maybe a recreation. And if you don't I will do something related to the internet. Kthxbyefaggotjustendmylifebye

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>got half naked(no underwear and pants) around my friend when we 17 because it excited me and he didn't mind
> mom comes home, and I don't hear her, struggle to put shorts on quickly as she barges in my roon to tell me to help her
> autistically try and tell her for no reason what I was doing even though she didn't ask

Now she thinks a big-ass queer and that I wanted to sleep with him back then
>>34486928
Why you want to die?

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reposting my story from a while ago

>>34486946
14 really shitty you'd have better luck squinting your eyes and watching scrambled porn.

>TFW years later your art teacher notices you like drawing full body portraits and take extra focus around the breast and vagina area.

>>34486636
>>34486686

I think we've tapped into something here because I've definitely done this

>>34486895
what do you say to yourself when you think about it?

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>>34486636
>9th grade
>complete social recluse
>never spoke to anyone, walked swiftly with head down, wore 'tism shoes and straight jeans, ate lunch in the library, carried a massive stack of books and manga, the works
>developing degenerate sexual fetishes thanks to hentai
>get interested in humiliation since its the only interaction I ever had with classmates
>male or female, doesn't matter
>get an idea about living out my fetish
>get some scissors, go to the bathroom, and carve a hole in the front of my pants
>design it to look like an accidental rip because plausible deniability
>never wore underwear anyway so that didn't pose a problem
>adjust pants so part of my dick is hanging out of the hole
>dick isn't big at all, less than an inch flaccid, so I figure it won't be too obvious
>return to class and go about the rest of my day in peace
>nobody seems to notice
>goddammit you people were supposed to notice and make fun of me for it
>remember that people have mentally deleted me from existence due to the critical mass of autistic shit I've done in the past.
>ride the bus home disappointed
>walk through the door
>mom says hello
>notices the hole in my pants and starts laughing
>"hahaha...anon...what happened...to your pants!?"
>realize I forgot to cover the hole
>run away to my room embarrassed, dropping backpack on the floor
>jerk off furiously to the memory later on

And from that day forth I added wincest and mommy gf to my list of fetishes. Also I have so many stories besides this one it isn't even funny.

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>>34487037
This was a long time ago I was desperate and had no access to the internets. shit I use to use those AOL disc that would give you like 90 hours or something like that of free internet. anyways it was mostly something like this

Oh god! The cringe is overwhelming

>>34486636
>>34486636
i did this during kickball and soccer in 7th grade, so people wouldn't fuck with me when i didn't feel like doing shit during a game

>>34487007
I wish it was bait
>>34487247
At first I realize how autistic I am, but then I can kinda rationalize why I did it. During that time I guess I was going through a "nice guy" phase. I'd also fall in love with any girl who showed me any attention or was nice to me, so I figured if I was nice to this girl, she would fall in love with me. I was pretty dumb. I'm still dumb though so who knows.

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>>34486636
>Be student
>Living in dorms
>Put a rooster sound as an alarm on my phone
>The speaker is pretty powerful so the alarm could be heard from the other rooms in the dorm
>Anxiety kicks in, can't sleep until it's 5 in the morning
>The alarm is set for 7 am
>Fall asleep
>Wake up at 3 pm
>All this time my phone was playing "cook-a-roo" sound all that time

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>be me
>5th grade
>want to scare friend
>have good throwing aim cos of a lot of dodgeball I'm after school program
>target sitting roughly 3 feet from wall
>take aim
>whip rock at wall right beside him, makes loud noise
>he jumps
>I laugh from a distance
>he starts bleeding a ton
>wat
>rock hit wall
>how bleed
>mfw it ricocheted off wall and nearly took his eye out (literally centimeters from his eye, he still has the scar)
>mfw they never figured out who did it
>mfw mission accomplish

>>34487375
fuck you, my shitbag roastie roommate always sleeps through her alarm for hours or leaves for the night, locks her bedroom door, and leaves her alarm set so it rings until she comes back the next day

>>34486636
>>34486686
Kevin spacey?

>>34487276
What the hell? At least you were able to fulfill your fetish. It's too late for me, my only fetish is imouto and I don't have a sister.

>>34486636
Who's the female in that photograph?

>>34487293
that photo is top kek anon, saved

>>34487765
Dani Daniels she's a porn star. I've fapped to her AT LEAST 25 times...I think I have a problem...

>got invited to a party (normie ree etc)
>was tired but took aderall to wake me up for chance to socialize
>party is cancelled
>now can't sleep and stay up browsing /r9k/

>>34486636
>8th grade
>attempted at drawing inflation porn of girls I liked at school

>>34488004
>party is cancelled

That's what the normies want you to believe.

>>34486636
jeffrey dahmer used to do tjhe same thing mate

>>34488137
Dahmer would've browsed /r9k/ and lured people in from the trap threads if we were around back in the 90's.

>>34486636
yeah i did that around the same age, not really sure what possessed me to do that

i suppose this is what a surplus of vidja games will do to an adolescent's development at that time

at least i was too oblivious to notice the weird looks

>>34488168
some kid from detroit said that he used to live next to Dahmer's old place

good lad, he got bullied for being a fukken yank in the south so i befriended him and he occasionally asked me if anyone needed an asskicking because they were fucking with me

i hope hes doing well

>>34487010
>decide I wanted to be sonic
Confirmed autist

>ran around the playground, bending my knees inwards so my ankle makes a circular motion like sonic's run
Ayuupp.

I used to run around my playground leaning forward, thinking that since Sonic leaned forward when he ran, it must make me run faster too.

>>34488225
>i suppose this is what a surplus of vidja games will do to an adolescent's development at that time
do you think vidya does this to us? i've often wondered if an obscene amount of vidya as an adolscent affects your development, but then i think i'm just sounding like an old congressman grasping for a cause to take up.
still though, video games haven't been around very long so it's not like we've had time to study their effects on people

>>34486636
>Walk with very precise movements.
>Arms and legs straight, no bending the elbows or knees.
>Slide feet against the floor.
>If I need to grab something, instead of one fluid movement, perform multiple clunky movements.

>"Heh, all these idiots must think I'm some badass robot!"

>>34486853
>>34487010
Lolcuck
>>34487440
Kind of kek

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>i walked with a limp at work once because i sprained my ankle
it's autistic because i was worried people would think i was doing it for attention

>>34487224
Holy shit, I've also done this. I can't believe how retarded I looked.

>>34488341
We have retards and there is no correlation.
You just have the autism.
The only person you can love or trust is you invest in you

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>>34487276
Please share more stories, degenerate anon

>getting off bus
>girl waves to me
>wave back
>she laughs
>I'm confused
>points behind me
>guy behind me walks over to her and they laugh at me

God damn it.

>>34487293
Wait, you used AOL discs and didn't have access to the internet... But you made a comic with greentext? You must've been on this site as long, or even longer, than I've been.

Have you been here since Year 0, anon-kun?

>>34487142
laughed out loud
orighiaaja

>>34487142
i bet it felt and smelled really satisfying after holding in a stomach full of shit for two weeks

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>>34488509
Okay, sure thing. I was about to close this thread and go to sleep because I've been up for nearly two days playing visual novels and vidya but I can type this one up.

>7th grade
>same social status as above, but different school
>just moved to this school actually
>its a military base school, so all the kids are from different places and are constantly moving to and from bases all over the country
>in short, most people aren't so well adjusted
>arrive at school on the first day
>see kids playing on the playground and get scared
>quickly enter classroom, excited by the presence of my first male teacher ever
>loudly say hello and proclaim my excitement for the world to hear
>he glares at me and, in a monotone voice, tells me to please return to the playground until the bell rings
>do as he says
>a few days pass before I decide I should make friends this time around
>notice all of the kids are grouped up by race because California is a fucking gangland on all levels
>the Mexican kids and the White kids refer to each other as "homie" while the black kids use "nigga"
>am White
>notice popular kids getting positive reactions from "what up homies?" every time they say it
>decide this must be a super duper cool social hack that I can use to gain popularity
>eventually a project rolls around and we're working partially in the computer lab and partially in the attached classroom
>its dark in the lab
>walk up to the lab door
>confidently shout out "what's up all my homies in the layyyuuuub!" as loudly as humanly possible
>do fucking "yo yo" hand motions while I'm doing this
>tfw the lab was literally empty
>tfw everyone went silent and stared at me from behind
>tfw even the teacher was gawking
>spend the next two years as a social recluse until we move again

I was already diagnosed on the spectrum so they couldn't test me for anything even though they wanted to. I'm basically Tomoko Kuroki here.

>>34488527
>Girl waves to me
>I wave back
>She laughs
>I turn around
>No one even there
>She laughs more
>I run across the road, shove her over and run away while she swears at me

>>34488400
ayy man same here

that's why I just toughed through the pain no matter how bad it was and avoided walking as much as possible

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This one is not when I was a kid but rather in uni

>Helping girl in my class with a homework assignment
>She is writing an email to her friend who has a very long and hard to spell foreign name
>I was not friends with her or her friend on facebook, but its a small school
>She spells her friend's name incorrectly
>I correct her

She must have assumed I knew her friend because she didn't question it. In reality I had seen her name on facebook a few times and my autistic mind remembered it.

I have another story where I recognized someone posting here in one of my classes, but in a really unexpected way. Will only tell if someone asks

>>34488807
how did you recognize them?

>>34488807
ok i gotta ask

>told some roastie I submitted a song to a band we both like and they put it on their CD. Called me out on it
>make maps and larp-tier gear for forts built in woods complete with enemies and "weapons" at 14-15
>print out maps of my state and just stare at them mystified
>be huge edgy faggot in 7th grade so much so that I get expelled and sent to an "emotionally disturbed" school until 11th grade
>draw my Diablo 2 characters and weapons into a comic book that I passed out to my family to read up on
>wrote magazines about dumb shit I distributed also
>wrote an "album" of sad similar sounding songs and asked people for positive feedback
>unironically wore black gloves,fedora and trenchcoat during 8th-9th grade
>cut the tops of my arms for attention

I cringe thinking about myself like 8 years back at 17 all the way back to 12. I wish I could just erase it all. Rate my autism

>>34488807
ok i gotta ask roeorigig

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>say lol irl

Since I was in the 3rd grade

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>>34488680
Oh, and I've been fucked in the ass by R2D2 as well.

>13 years old
>sexually experimental
>had run hot water over cock and balls and closed doors on myself a few times and cut along my penis but nothing too extreme
>complete degenerate with a massive submissive streak
>want to experiment with assplay but parents would be upset if I tried ordering a dildo online
>decide to make due
>have a life sized R2D2 model my uncle bought for me when I was 9 prominently displayed in my room
>the extending part on top that bulbs out into his sensor thingy is perfectly dildo shaped in its case
>perfectexecution.png
>go to the bathroom and strip down
>run hot water over my fingers and try to stretch out my asshole
>try inserting the probe, but it isn't working because it keeps slipping in my wet fingers
>go back and get the full R2D2 model
>attach the probe to the top
>squat down on top of it
>success
>it slides into my ass
>start bobbing up and down on R2's sensor thingy
>feeling excited
>suddenly the motion brings the electronics to life
>it has fucking sound effects
>weep weep wooooooo woooooo
>its fucking beeping
>too close to cumming to stop now
>blow my load while R2 beeps and bloops
>while I'm removing the sensor from my rectum, he screams out "waaaaaooooow" like he did in Episode 4 when he was hit on the trench run
>shamefully clean off everything, including the part
>seriously try to disinfect that shit with all my might
>put it back together and return it to its decorative place
>get aroused and anxious every time I see or hear R2D2 now because it reminds me of my experimental phase before I grew courage and started buying real dildos

Not bad for an astro droid.

>>34488881
7 off.

If this thread is still here in the morning I can post a picture of the trenchcoat. I keep it in the garage so I don't think about it.

>>34488807
REQUESTING ANSWERS ANON PLEASE DELIVER

>>34488341
I don't think vidya is any worse than other mind-atrophying distractions that stunt our social development by tearing us away from people. TV does it. Phone screens do it. Anything that creates a barrier between interpersonal interactions is harming your social skills in large enough doses. Its why there are so many autistic types nowadays beyond the simple diagnosis. Being a shut-in nerd raised on distraction makes you awkward, and awkwardness makes you come across as autistic.

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>>34488807
>>34488828
>>34488853
>>34488882


Alright. I should have clarified, when I say "here" I mean 4chan. Anyways

Background:
>A few years ago, taking 3D modeling course at uni that has about 30 people in it
>Frequently have to showcase work in front of the class
>Very nerdy school with plently of autists in every class

Story:
>Browsing /3/ for general 3D modeling stuff
>See a pic of a model in an OP that looks very familiar
>Guy is asking people for critiques
>Recognize that this guy is absolutely in my class
>tell him I'm in his class
A few days later
>Day where people are presenting their projects
>Finally gets to the guy
>He is exactly what I expected, some skinnyfat neckbeard
>At the end of his presentation, he literally says
"Hey, and I saw someone in here on 4chan! Could you please stand up?"
>Cringe harder than I have in a while
>I don't move
>He silently walks back to his seat

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>>34488931
Forty keks, anon, I can totally relate to that experimental age, but still getting aroused when you see or hear R2D2 is top-tier

>>34488931
im not reading all that shit nigger

>Go to a small private school, 24 people in the whole 5th grade
>At recess everyone would play sports
>Me and my autistic friend wouldn't play sports and instead play with sticks and "fight zombies"
>Hide our sticks everyday in this bush so we used the same "weapons" everyday
>Come up with a whole storyline, lore, combat techniques, and zombie types
>We tell our other classmates about these adventures of ours
>It's 5th grade so they're starting to get too old for this type of stuff
>They treat us like retarded autists
>We become social outcasts because of this
>Only realize in hindsight that it was pretty autistic

Even though it was autistic there was an innocence about it that I miss about it. I still have one of the stick weapons as a memento. Never talked to the kid since then though, I left after 5th grade for unrelated reasons. Wonder If he made it in life

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>>34486636
>be me at 26
>start walking with limp
>people give me weird looks
>think people think im stupid
>actually have legit muscle disorders that cause my calves to hurt 24/7
just fuck my shit all up

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>>34488931
HOLY FUCK THIS IS A GOOD ONE LMAO

I got a good one

>have a dare with friends to get a kiss off pretty girls
>we jump on two girls from behind and kiss them and run away

lmfao

this was in grade 6. we didn't even get in trouble.

>>34489143
Do you have a link to the archived threadoororinio

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>>34489143
>>At the end of his presentation, he literally says
>"Hey, and I saw someone in here on 4chan! Could you please stand up?"
>>Cringe harder than I have in a while
>>I don't move
>>He silently walks back to his seat

LOL i can only imagine your face, teeth gritted, jaw clenched like a vice, veins popping out of your forehead and neck, nose curled, breath sharply held, eyes snapped shut

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>>34488931
i never thought this would be related

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>>34486853
>4th grade
>some autist starts running around with his arms behind his back
>I start to do it to mock him
>my friends and I all do it and laugh about it later
>he thinks he's popular
>what a huge fagget

>>34489143
Oh my god that's cringey as fuck

I would have done the same as you, famalam

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>9th grade
>see cute shy nerdy azn gril
>with friends
>i pay my black friend 40 dollars to literally pants her
>didnt think he'd do it but he did
>next day he rats me out
>literally everyone knows

>>34488931
>I'll never be able to look at R2-D2 again without thinking about this greentext

>>34488931
Damn, good thing no parents heard that from the bathroom or something.

>>34489199
I didn't bother archiving it sadly
It basically was just like
>oh shit, you're in my class. *Professor's name*?
>Yeah, cool
>Cool

It was like 3 years ago but /3/ moves so fucking slowly I wouldn't be surprised if it was still there

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>>34488931
I almost forgot what a 10/10 greentext is like. You need to tell more stories more often, anon

>>34489204
red as a cherry tomato and he was still thinking "whew, nobody ever knew"

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>>34488931
Some motherfucker in this very thread will post this on reddit and goddammit I'm glad I was here to see the OC

>>34488332
Leaning forward actually does make you run faster

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>>34488931
>beep boop beep boop
>WAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOW

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>>34487375
I'm laughing so fucking hard anon good show

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>>34489328
Where do they post this shit on reddit? r/4chan? I want to keep an eye for this inevitably popping up

>>34488553
Full blown autism. He said he makes the images as say very basic, and with panels, not fucking green-text you retard

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>>34488931
I haven't keked this hard in a long time, good shit anon

Also, witnessed, put me in the screencap

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>3rd grade.
>Say lol out loud when I thought something was funny or cool.

>3rd grade.
>me and my friends collected chromies (tire caps that you put on the part where u put air in)

>4th-5th grade.
>walked around school playground/field during recess.

Probably some other shit I've done without knowing it.

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>>34488931
We'd be friends

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>6th grade
>thought people were making fun of me behind my back
>went full blown retardo internet detective and created a new screenname to message people and ask about me
>they almost certainly knew it was me, and made a point to confirm that they made fun of me
>didn't really feel any better about that, and still not sure why I did it

>>34487094
>>34486928
pls get cancer and die.

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>>34486853

This is how leaders are built

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>>34486928

Did you at least get to swallow his load before you became the object of ridicule of your school for the next 30 years?

These threads are comedy gold thank you everyone who posted

>>34489150
m-matthew??

>>34489541
>me and my friends collected chromies (tire caps that you put on the part where u put air in)

Fucking lol this is some hardcore autismo shit right here

I bet if it caught on enough they would get banned

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>>34488881
Gotta ask what got ya kicked outta school anon

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>>34487094

>Now she thinks a big-ass queer

She probably stabs her ovaries every night knowing that she created a cocksucker

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>>34488605

Likely it would be coal-consistency

>>34486636
Shit, I did this for almost a year. Didn't realize how autistic I looked.

>>34489457
just posted it

>>34489695
Did you post this?
https://www.reddit com/r/4chan/comments/5qsjz0/anon_loves_r2d2/

>>34487224
Maybe this is why we're all socially isolated losers?

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>>34489150

I was afraid this story would take a turn for the worse, i.e., that the school found out where you kept your "weapons" and they took them and made fun of them.

>>34489217

> whu whu WUHTTT?

You mean, um you....mean....that I wasn't...

I wasn't POPULAR?

> comin for ya now anon

>>34489714
Not me but there was a Matthew in my class

I suppose the name FBA doesn't ring a bell?

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Here we go
>be me, 16yo edgelord
>older brother smokes weed
>gather up all the loose baggies he had
>put my acne pills in the bags in groups of 5
>have literally 3 months worth of acne pills in dime bags
>take a bag to school to be an edgy cunt to friend
>bag falls out of pocket in class
>teacher sees and goes absolutely ballistic
>get parents called, expelled and all that
>strict as fuck dad pulls my room apart, finds 20 fucking bags of small white pills.
>parents send me to rehab for 2 months for drug addiction.
At any point in this shot I could have said but my spaghetti had dropped so damn had I didn't.

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>>34486853
ayy me and two more friends used to do this

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>>34489541
>>Say lol out loud when I thought something was funny or cool.

I am surprised you weren't attacked at least twice a day

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>>34489983
>Facebook filename.

Still 16, aren't you?

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>be experimental from a young age
>shove pens up my ass and jack off by age 10
>caught at least five times by mom but never stopped
>got left alone a lot
>grabbed mom's robe, lipstick, and a folding chair
>turn it over so the four legs are all stuck out
>apply lipstick and robe
>put porn on the tv blasting full volume
>scoot back and get my ass fucked by hard metal dicks
>go ass to mouth, sucking each one of them off
>grab some kind of screwdriver with multiple detachable handles and heads
>big mistake
>cheap plastic handle breaks off, ass sucks that shit right up into my guts, deeper than i've ever felt
>fingers up my ass trying to dig it out, too far to reach
>sit on the toilet for an hour trying to push it out
>covered in shit, i throw it under the sink's cabinet and never go in that bathroom again(had my own bathroom at one end of the trailer, parents had the master one.)
>freely rub my dick against my pillows when friends were over
>get them into it too
>three pubescent males dickgrinding pillows all at once, full fucking, dicks out, pants down, the whole fucking nine
>these kids are cumming on my waifus what the fuck
>sniff and lick them all later while i'm fucking my primary slutpillow
>still have my weaponized slut pillow to this day, so fucking stiff and full of cum it literally cuts my neck and I don't mind
>sniff and lick on this fucking disgusting thing while jacking off, imagining all the miles of my cock i've slapped on this thing and all the gallons that now compose most of its structure

>>34489945
it does, which one are you ?

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>>34489983
>At any point in this shot I could have said but my spaghetti had dropped so damn had I didn't.

What language is this??

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>>34490067
>At any point in this shot I could have said but my spaghetti had dropped so damn had I didn't.
What did he mean by this?

>>34490032
Jesus fuck that is absolutely revolting, the first story was sorta kek-worthy, but that second one...

>>34490032
nigga seek help immediately

>>34490056
Universal City

That you Alex?

>>34490113
dude what's up? I see you haven't been too successful huh?

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>>34490032

Your hole has had more things up it than Syrians in the JFK Men's Room

>grade 1 or 2
>see fight between older kids
>one slams the others head into a door
>walk up to my friend when lunch break is over
fuckingnormiefaggotseverywhere
>slam my friends head into the door
>he leaves for a different skool a year later

>8th grade
>friends again
>both completely forget about each other

>then it hits me, I slammed his head into a door all those years ago.
>be 19 now
>I think I should say sorry to him

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>>34490146
I have no idea what I just read... Did your head get slammed into a door too?

>>34490140
Yeah things are pretty fucked, wouldn't be here if they weren't I guess, huh? This is a pretty crazy coincidence

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>Be in 2nd Grade
> had just seen the term "eat shit" in a gas station bathroom, know it's a bad word but literally don't know what it means.
> in class, right near end of year. Working on maps, labeling N, E, S, W, etc. Easy stuff.
> finish early and start writing little notes to the girl next to me
> goes from silly things to writing the "curse words" we know, like damn, hell.
> I write "Eat shit everyone!"
> thinking "Game-set-match"
> it is time to turn in our workbooks, I turn it in
> FORGOT TO ERASE "EAT SHIT EVERYONE"
> couple of days later, teacher takes me aside and waves this in my face asking about it
> I start crying, and still don't even know what "Shit" means
> I was practically the Teacher's Pet all year and now it is spoiled about 3 days before end of school
> Get called to Headmaster, have to spend last day of school literally writing sentences all day long without stopping

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>>34490141
>>34490111
>>34490098

>tried to get my dog to fuck me
>drunk dad literally beat this animal retarded
>sucking on his sheath, he's not responding, just standing there shaking
>turn over onto hands and knees, expecting him to jump on my ass like the bestiality fap-fiction book told me he would
>finally roll onto my back in the goddamn plough yoga position
>trying to make this animal fuck me
>hoist him up over me and drag his sheath and tip all over me
>he just sits there, nonresponsive
>finally get tired of the game, give up and try to hoist him off of me while i'm stuck in this awkward position
>eleven year old me isn't strong enough
>hear the car pull up
>shit got real
>start screaming and flailing, accidentally hit him, it's the only thing he responds to anymore and he hops off me
>door opens and i'm ass up in the air because i'm a retard and did this in the goddamn living room
>hide my dick even though they got the FULL show of me apparently trying to suck my own dick and failing
>just glad the dog got off of me and let them think what they think

Typing this out really makes me question some stuff about my childhood and other life choices.

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>>34488931
>while I'm removing the sensor from my rectum, he screams out "waaaaaooooow" like he did in Episode 4 when he was hit on the trench run

>>34488428
>>34489902
>>34487224
>>34486686
>>34486636
Do you guys also pay attention to how people walk? Just depending on how someone is walking I can usually tell who's coming from a good distance away. Don't know why, I just always paid attention

>>34486853
I used to do this eith my gf in the 5th grade

Fun times

>>34490521
>Don't know why, I just always paid attention
That's usually a sign of autism, senpai

>>34490551
Not my fault no one else pays attention to anything

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>>34490347
Absolutely wretched desu

Do you have any more stories?

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>>34486895
i do this shit
i dont find it cringey at all
i like helping people

>>34490347
Post more Saika-chan

>6th grade
>3 years after 9/11
>push muslim kids textbooks off his desk
>we become friends and are still friends years later

>>34490347
You shouldn't rape your dog, anon. It's not very nice

>>34486636
I put up mental blocks years ago to forget.
All I know is that I did a lot of autistic shit in middle/high school. I hope the memories never come back.

>>34490647
Why did you specify how many years after 9/11 it was? It was completely irrelevant to the story.

>>34489150
Kek i did this all the way til 8th grade

>>34486636
>get on subway
>sit down in the pregnant/disabled person seats
>normies glare at me
>my stop comes
>stand up
>affect a limp as i make my way out of the train
i do this all the time

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>>34486636
>walk with a real limp since I am vaguely retarded (with no diagnoses) in some way
>people just laugh at me like the retard I am
Feels bad not being able to MOVE AT ALL WITHOUT DRAWING BAD ATTENTION

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>>34487037
>a recreation
I'm not the anon that posted that but back in 2007 I didn't have connection to the internet except through our home PC so I drew porn on my Nintendo DS (Piczo) where I'd draw a naked lady, send it to the empty chat, then draw panties on her, send it, draw underwear, send it, then finish the clothes and send it again.

Then I'd go through the history backwards as if I were unclothing her. I unironically fapped to this at age 12. Also fapped to the female swimmer pokemon trainers in pokemon leafgreen.

Pic related is almost exactly what it looked like. It's weird but I could probably still fap to this.

>>34486853
fastest kid in my grade school ran like this, did track and everything

he was a south east asian from australia

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>>34488931
>closed doors on myself a few times and cut along my penis but nothing too extreme

what did he mean by this

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>>34491130
O shit wrong image.

This is what fapping was like for me in 2007

I wish I never did this
>6th grade
>distance from my bus stop to my house was about half a mile
>shit my pants while walking home one day
>get hard from it
>start shitting my pants while walking home and develop a scat/diaper fetish
>loved turning down rides from people who had no idea I had shit in my pants
>first fap was wearing shit filled underwear
>tfw youre still a degenerate to this day

>>34491137
i was the fastest kid in 6th grade and i ran like that
i didnt notice i did until other kids pointed it out

>>34491147
>closed doors on myself a few times
On several occasions, he applied pressure to parts of his body (presumably the genitals) between a door and its frame. The amount of force was not disclosed, but one could imagine it was gratuitous.

>cut along my penis
This bit is rather self-explanatory, but to expound further, he meant that he used a sharp instrument (such as a razor or perhaps a penknife) to make a longitudinal incision along most likely the shaft of his penis.

>but nothing too extreme
This posits that these actions are not the most intensely sexually deviant acts he has committed upon himself. It could also imply that he assumes his audience agrees that these acts aren't unusually deviant in the first place, but whether or not he meant it as a simple sarcastic remark or believes it in earnest due to his autistic demeanor remains a mystery.

>>34491353
Not that anon, but thanks for this, it really helped me to understand a post I thought was obvious.

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>>34486636
>6th to 8th grade
>had discovered fapping a year ago
>now fapping was making this weird stuff come out of my dick
>didn't really know what to do with it
>being the genius i was i just fapped into my pyjama bottoms and let it dry
>started having large crusty areas on the crotch of all of my pjs
>would change my pjs very rarely
>so there would be a month of cum built up in these pj bottoms at times
>the entire crotch area was completely solid and would sometimes be stuck to me
>i would literally scratch layers of dry cum off of my legs in the morning
>i must have smelled like a walking cumrag
>also for no reason would finger my asshole, touch the poo inside and then draw on the walls with it
>parents never said anything
>i pretend they didn't know
>but they knew
>they fucking knew

>be me, 8th grade
>brother is two years older then me and is a pothead
>think it is cool, so decide to try to appear high every day at school
>consciously try to act super calm and mellow
>consciously keep my eyes half closed at all times
>sometimes try to act confused or as if i am zoned out in general
>constantly rub eyes so they appear to be red
>no one ever notices, they probably just thought i was tired all the time
>at the time, i thought that everyone must think i am the cool mysterious kid who does drugs

>>34491388
>>also for no reason would finger my asshole, touch the poo inside and then draw on the walls with it
This undoubtedly makes you literally mentally retarded. I'm proud of you for learning how to get on the internet and post on /r9k/. Good job dude!

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>First Day of the 6th Grade
>Girl in the 7th grade walks up to me and becomes my friend
>Talks to me all day and seems like a good person
>2nd Day, she comes up and wrestles with me
>Didn't know what was happening and though I was getting attacked.
>Started crying and the teacher came over.
>Girl never wrestled with me again

could have been 6th grade pussy destroyer
Ended up being the 6th grade pussy avoider

>>34486636
you were actually just desperately seeking motherly attention to nurture you

>>34488931
include me in the screencap
10/10 anon, great work you degenerate

>On a school camping trip
>Sharing a tent with 2 of my best friends
>I'm shifting around because I'm uncomfortable
>One friend asks "Anon, are you masturbating?"
>Oh my god should I be?
>"Yes"
>No response
>Try to pump my dick while it's limp

>>34491559
>literally mentally retarded
Not retarded but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic given all the stuff I did when I was younger, but I'm fairly normal now for some reason. Also I got super high marks in school and all the teachers loved me because I was so quiet and polite. I did more fucked up shit too, that's not it. My shower ritual:

>would only shower like twice a month
>these showers would take ages because i had a complex ritual i'd follow
>of course this ritual was very sexual
>first i'd get naked and get in the shower
>then i'd put a plug in the bottom so it would slowly fill up with water
>i would sit so that one ankle was digging into my ass and wait for the water level to raise
>would be digging my ankle into my ass this whole time
>once it was high enough i'd give myself a boner
>then i'd pinch my foreskin closed and pee into my foreskin as much as i could
>of course it couldnt hold all of it so i would pee into the sitting water
>i'd lie down in the piss water and let the shower stream hit my dick
>once it got too high i'd fap and cum into the water
>drain the water and cum gets washed away
>shampoo and soap myself up
>you'd think that soaping my body up would get me clean but i'm not done yet
>then i'd stick the bar of soap directly up my asshole
>it is self lubricating so it would go right in
>shit it out, often i'd already have an ass full of shit so it would have shit on it
>would do this multiple times until ass started burning
>anyone that used a bar of soap in my house from 2006-2008 has washed themselves with soap that has literally been inside my asshole multiple times
>would lay a wet cloth on my body and touch myself through it because it felt really good
>sometimes would fap again using the wet cloth
>finally get out of the shower

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>>34490032
>freely rub my dick against my pillows when friends were over
>get them into it too
>three pubescent males dickgrinding pillows all at once, full fucking, dicks out, pants down, the whole fucking nine

this part got me really fucking hard

>>34491768
What the actual fuck dude

Jesus fucking kek

>>34491768
I say this in the least edgy way possible, but I genuinely hope you never have offspring. Good luck to your adult normalcy, like, not judging, just honestly appalled.

>>34491130
>fapped to crude pictochat drawings
I'm glad I'm not the only one.

>>34491768
>>anyone that used a bar of soap in my house from 2006-2008 has washed themselves with soap that has literally been inside my asshole multiple times

I don't have a reaction image suitable for the emotion I'm currently experiencing

>>34490521
Don't let people like >>34490551 dissuade you. Some people are just attentive to everything. My thing is sound. If there's less than 6 conversations going on at once, I can listen in to them all.

>>34486636
I actually wore a knee brace all year to bypass the school's strict uniform policy

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>>34491799

Glad to help anon.

>>34490579
>>34490646
>>34490660

It was a failure of a first time but it wouldn't be the last.

>a few years ago
>lady my parents knew was moving, couldn't keep her little doggo
>this poor animal had never been shown affection, love, or taught to play
>was a twenty year old pomeranian with breathing problems
>the old urges came roaring back, i was a goddamn sex starved 11 year old again
>parents leave the house one day
>immediately flip this tiny creature over and try to suck its dick
>try fruitlessly to get this poor dying critter's cock out
>wait a moment humans have a prostate
>why not dogs too
>figure he's tiny so try to put my pinky up his ass and be real gentle
>he flips the fuck out, normally docile and avoidant of anything he lost his goddamn mind and started barking and roaring louder than i've heard dogs twenty times his size make
>it's probably in my head but the noise was unbearable
>just flee the room and hide downstairs hoping no neighbors peek into the windows to see the murder going down
>he avoids me for the next six months of his life
>buried him in the backyard and gave little doggo a cairn
>still sad I never got to suck his tiny penis to orgasm ;_;

>on summer vacation
>parents made me go to music and art classes
>wanted to look cool to other kids
>started using a black hoodie
>pull down the hood so it could cover my eyes up
>start walking like that even though i ended up tripping all the time
>"hehe now they will think I'm mysterious"
>no effect
>made dad buy cheap necklaces
>put on sleeveless tee
>"hehe now they will think I'm a turbo chad"
>also no effect

Did a lot of stuff to gain kids appreciation in there

>>34490098
I think he meant "At any point during this shit I could have said [That they were just acne pills and I was being edgy] but my spaghetti had dropped so damn hard I didn't." You just have to infer a little

>>34492110
Christ m8, what the fuck is your problem? You really need to fucking kill yourself.

>>34492216
Leave this board and never come back you piece of shit

>>34492110
If you have more tales of degeneracy, please share

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>>34492110

No more Saika, so I'll drop one more and go to bed on my slut pillow.

>be in seventh grade, new school, can barely function, no idea what to do, have to ask for directions to every classroom like a retarded child which i clearly felt i was at times
>weeks into this shit and realize why people kill themselves a lot
>some random white kid sits next to me in study hall
>'sup g', he says. look around, dumbfounded someone would actually talk to me of their own free will and see if there isn't someone behind me ready to pull a prank
>winter time, we're playing around outside, walking on the train tracks behind my house tossing snowballs and shoving one another
>down by the bridge, go to a slow decline into a drain field by the road that nobody can see you from
>suddenly just whips his pants down and says 'sup g' again, knowing it'd get my attention
>literal horsecock, this fucking thing is down to his knees, just stare at it because i'd only seen such beasts in porn
>what see something you like, *shake shake shake*
>yes. drop to knees in front of it, just fucking examining this thing for scientific purposes
>fucking chili whips me in the face with it
>punch him in the dick
>he hits me in the forehead with a rock
>we start brawling while his dick is doing whirlies
>both end up with bloody noses and not much else because neither of us was fighting with full force
>go back to my house and he spends the night, sneaking into my bed with me
>call him a fag and we cuddle for most of the night into the morning when he slips out back to his place on the floor so my parents don't see us
>go back to normal bullshittery until I move again
>would have gargled that dick and choked myself swallowing it like holy shit
>he had cystic fibrosis and is probably dead by now ;_;

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>>34488931
>>start bobbing up and down on R2's sensor thingy
>>feeling excited
>>suddenly the motion brings the electronics to life
>>it has fucking sound effects
>>weep weep wooooooo woooooo
Holy fuck this is a good one

>middle school
>ate lunch alone in the cold outside while everyone inside was pointing and laughing at me
Yeah thanks guys

>>34491768
Bud, I like people like you, I'm fucked up in a number of ways, but thankfully not as fucked up as you are.

>>34491766
You are an amazing testament to how spergs react to peer pressure.

>7th grade
>some kid tells me he likes star trek
>tell him star trek is gay and punch him in the face
>go home and watch star trek

>>34491137
FOBs
Most are pretty cool, but lots of them are autismo fucked up because traditional parents

>>34488680
Thank you for sharing, Anon.
ahegao

>>34490842
They always come back when you're trying to fall asleep.
At least for me.

>5-6th grade, off and on
>pretend to be a vampire
>really like sonic
>brony
>only friend was the ugly girl nobody liked
>she was obsessed with spyro, smelled horrible, and told me she had a dick
>she went to a different school for 6th grade
>literally had the autism bullied out of me by 8th grade
>by high school I could pass for normal

>>34492711
If you were a brony in 6th grade I'm pretty sure you're underage.

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>year 9 (I was about 13 I think)
>spent lunchtime walking around the outside of the playground/tennis courts looking for spare change
>considering I did this every day, I always used to find lots of coins
>just assumed no one ever noticed me
>this playground would have hundreds of kids on at a time
>of course they fucking noticed me
>thinking back they probably just threw coins on the floor to humour me

I did this for like a year, the previous two years I was actually a normal kid, then my autism gene must have kicked in over the summer or something.

>in sports class
>we're playing tennis
>teacher tells us to partner up
>there's an odd number so guess who doesn't get picked
>just walk off and start collecting coins again
>no one says anything

Eventually I started branching out into pen lids and things like that too.

Anyone else correct random shit? I have a few other stories of anyone cares.

>>34492745
>If you were a brony in 6th grade I'm pretty sure you're underage

Shit came on the air 7 years ago anon, a 6th grader is like 11/12/13 or something.

>>34492711
Did you and the girl atleast end up together, sucking eachothers dicks at the drive-in?

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>>34486636

>bored as fuck alpha autist
>manlet of the class talks to me
>look at him like pic related
>grab his head and start hitting him against the wall for 5 times
>people come to us, girls start asking me why the fuck I did it
>"I don't know"and lay next to him on the ground and cry together
>teacher comes in "wtf happen?"
>"I'm a bad boy..." and walk away to the bathroom to jerk off because of adrenaline rush

>>34492764
I used to collect pretty rocks, and put them in a small wooden shelf to display over my bed. Then I drew ghosts on the shelf because I thought it looked cool. Afterwards, I couldn't sleep because I was too scared of the ghosts I drew myself. My mom had to put sticky notes over them so I could sleep again.

>>34492787
Fuck me I feel old now and I'm only 22

>>34492798
Wwhat thhe ffuck?

>>34492764

>the bathrooms in our elementary school were like a big ring so everyone could gather around it at once for efficiency in the toilets
>would pump soap into the basin and draw stuff in it, leave it to harden, and come back an hour later to see my work
>did this every hour of every day during our five minute break to piss and gather stuff for next class
>kid i'd never interacted with before starts randomly doing it too and we have contests to see who can draw the coolest soapscum figures
>eventually get caught and punished for being wasteful, have to walk around the school after class and pick up garbage 'to know what it's like for the janitors' or something.

>>34492793
No, later on at the school she went to she stabbed another kid over some trivial shit and went to juvy(the school she was sent to was for the "emotionally disturbed" and irreparably autistic.) While she went there, I went on to normie school.

>>34486895
I have a similar one
>8th grade
>our class was going on a trip to england for a week
>oneitis gets 100 euro from her parents because they're rich
>I get 50
>oneitis complains in class about having not enough money for england
>after school I ride my bike to her and give her 20 euro from my 50
>end up going to bed hungry in england the last couple of days because I had no more money for food

>>34492764
In elementary school I'd walk in circles around the field at recess collecting acorns and feathers.

>>34492798
I'm just going to imagine this was in 11th grade since you didn't give much background

>>34492803
Cute as heck

>>34492816

I know the feeling anon. 32 here. It's all downhill past 25, get your e-brakes ready.

>6th grade
>11
>autistic as fuck
>starts meowing all the time because thought I was cool
>used to watch dexter and wanted to be cool so so I'd make edgy jokes and pretend to like gorey stuff
>I used to text this girl named solei I thought I was so romantic sending her little texts and scyping her
>my mom reads all of the texts after two weeks of me spending all my time in my room being an autistic bitch
>fuck.jpg
>used to make Chuck Norris jokes
> I want to die

>>34492934
>>my mom reads all of the texts after two weeks of me spending all my time in my room being an autistic bitch

It's things like this that make me thank christ my parents were tech illiterate. dad used the computer as a giant fetish and porn generator and mom avoided it entirely because using the mouse and pushing the power button was too hard for her to grasp.

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>>34488527
>when a girl waves and smiles at you but you instantly know that someone else must be behind you and you just continue walking

>>34492886
Well, at least I've got that going for me I guess.

>>34492876
we were 15

>kid in 2nd grade invites me over to his house
>having fun but I break a stupid plastic bottle of his
>oh shit, I'm so sorry
>he doesn't seem to care at all, wtf I broke it
>thinking he will never ask me over again
>get invited again two weeks later, why??
>suddenly get told we're going to a small playground
>fuck now I get it, this is for that bottle
>am convinced his other friends are waiting there
>this is where they will kill me
>play along and be extremely cautious
>noone there, they must be waiting to catch me off guard
>for like an hour keep eye contact with my friend while we play
>suddenly have to take a shit
>I'm sure of it now, they plan to get me when I'm on the toilet
>fail to come up with a plan, no way to defend myself there
>think so long that I run out of time and have to go
>suddenly start sprinting to the toilets without saying a word
>nope, too late
>sitting on the toilet with my pants full of shit while waiting for people to come in and kill me
>realize it makes no sense when my friend is alone and asks if I'm ok
Fucking paranoia...

In kindergarten me and some friends dug a hole. That's how we spent recess, digging a hole. We also ran around spinning our arms because it totally made us go faster

>>34493110
Jesus Christ what did your parents do to you to make you so paranoid at that age

>>34492950
That's not as cringy as me, fresh out of my meowing phase began to watch anime and learned a decent amount of Japanese before realizing that I was a fag

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>>34488931
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-BKjnAgNgY

>>34493128
Digging holes was the shit. There was always a huge group of kids at my elementary school who raced out to the playground as fast as possible to try to get the best shovel. Also my little brother used to do that arm thing.

>>34493131
My mom is even more paranoid and has always been warning me about all kinds of shit people supposedly do

>always listen to metal on the bus
>turn volume way up so the music leaks out of my headphones
>hope that somebody recognizes the music and think that I'm a badass
>also mouthed the lyrics to look really cool

>15
>still no cum when jerking :(
>all friends are talking about how it changed their life
>think everyone knows that i still have no cummies
>ihavetodosomething.gif
>start telling everyone, that i love rubbing cum on my belly after jerking

Had a pretty rough start in high school

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>>34491130
>>34491888
FUCK I also did this. I also drew boobs in the constellations in animal crossing but that was more crude then jerk off material

>>34489715
Literally sounds like the stereotypical Black Mexican Hybrid.

Please don't exist any longer, it's a dick thing, not an autistic thing.

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>>34486636
I used to run like mario does in 64, arms swinging and shit

I also used to watch shit like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5-ErbSrTOc unironically on an 1 inch ipod nano screen

I had the mario theme as the ringtone on my phone

First time I shaved my pubes I had my pants pulled down in front of 30+ people by the school negro

There's loads more but honestly I think it's suppressed now, else I'd struggle to be as normal as I am

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>>34488931
funniest thing i've ever read

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>13
>at school
>have a really girly voice back then
>men bathroom is disgusting af
>decide to go to girls' one
>goes to the one far from the main hall so no one sees me
>see some girls tempon
>start imaginating some weird shit with girls in my school
>get hard and start masturbating
>make some lewd noises
>suddenly hear a toilet flush on the cabin right next to me
>hear the door open
>and someone walking away
>was too scared to go out and that someone was waiting for me
>stayed in these toilets for the whole day

>4 years old
>Walk into Thai market with asian neighbors
>squint my eyes to fit in

>>34488343
I did that once. And now I have cringed because I remembered. Thank you (?)

>>34492950
>Raito

B-b-baka, i-it's supposed to be L-Light but pronounced wrong b-because n-n-nipponese~

>Play with batteries in 6th grade
>To me, batteries were just as cool as any other toy
>Mash batteries together in epic battles before first period
>Get labeled "battery boy" by my fellow class mates
>Batteries are my life

>>34486946
I used to record my own ass-shaking vids and jack off to them

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>>34488946
deliver fag were waiting

>>34492852
>England
>euro
Fuck off you mug

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>>34488931
Mfw maximum kek

>>34491130
Fuck off, I did this, too. I'd also google image search shit like "naked ladies" on the DSi browser. I also once nutted to Bowletta from Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga. Not even any fanart, but the actual final battle.

>>34486636
Why do women have big asses? What purpose do they serve?

>>34491130
>Also fapped to the female swimmer pokemon trainers in pokemon leafgreen
good taste

>>34486946
I kinda did something like this.
I printed off lewd pictures of animu and licked them, eventually putting them onto a pillow to fuck. I still have a papercut scar on my dick

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>used to cut my own hair
>used to cut my own pubes with scissors
>used to ask out girls I barely (and we're talking barely) knew
>had oneitis I only talked to once or twice, who was two years older than me
>stalked her as much as possible after she graduated. I found her name from a bulletin board at the front of the school
>had another oneitis who I talked to almost exclusively through facebook
>once told a girl she "looks like my girlfriend but chubbier." Never had a girlfriend and she wasn't chubby.
>was something like 100 pounds, but got in fights with people
>make edgy 4chinz jokes in class
>shaved entire face except peach fuzz soul patch
>fap in bed/at the bathroom at friend's houses
>generally treat my friends like shit
>sent pic related

>>34492950
I had that hair for most of my life, I didn't style it it's just how it grows naturally

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>>34488931
I take it you have become a well adjusted adult then?

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>>34488931
Fucking hell, anon.
10/10

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>still have dreams about getting revenge in my last year of school
>wake up from them in cold sweats
>I left school over 10 years ago

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>>34495432
>>used to cut my own pubes with scissors
>he doesn't pay someone to cut his pubes for him

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>>34488931
You fuckin degenerate.
Couldn't you use a fucking baseball bat or something?
Poor R2D2 :(

>>34486636

>4th grade

>think i'm badass cus i listen to 50 cent
>Watch WWE and do wrestling moves on pillows
>Also went to kung-fu and judo
>Got suspended from school every other week for beating someone up

>>34486636
>year 9 (uk)
>also have the smart idea of walking with a limp to make me look wounded and badass
>tfw crush asked me why I'm walking like I've been bummed
>leg suddenly heals

>another crush
>tell her i got beaten up by a group of people to make her think I'm tough and could only get beaten by a group of people, also to gain some sympathy
>realise later that it just sounded like a was a beta pussy who got bullied
I was such a faggot

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>>34495891
>doesn't have a gif of Bunk

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>be me in 8th grade
>reading class and silent reading time
>had genius idea to fap in class like another friend did once
>jfc i wanna die
>fapping
>no sound other than occasional bang of belt under table
>did not cum
>proceded to make myself an even bigger idiot
>annoying bitchy girls ask me about it
>plzkillme.jpg
>nobody really cares about it now
>still to this day I sweat while thinking about this on the toilet

>pretend to talk with a lisp
>accidentally gave myself a lisp for real

>>34486636
>6th grade
>not feeling well that day
>don't tell the teacher
>don't do anything
>just sit
>feels like I'm going to throw up
>looks like i will not make it to the toilet
>then the perfect plan popped up
>"try to play it cool, there is nothing happening"
>suddenly the crush approaches me
>asks to borrow a pen
>"sure, why noBLEREBRBER"
>i literally puked on her
>"OH MY GOD" - she screamed
>that scream caught everyones attention - you don't see a girl covered in puke everyday
>few teachers approached, asked if she's alright
>I thought they are asking me so I said "yeah, I feel much better already" and went to other class like nothing happened
>needless to say I have never talked to her again
>had to see her everyday though - we were going to the same class

>>34486636
>mfw geniune knee and hip pain
>can't help but limp
God fucking help me.

>>34496454
Sounds pretty bad ass.

>>34494743
he wasn't from England he was just visiting

>>34486636
I used to walk toe-heel like a ninja
turns out it's a great way to sneak up on people. also a great way to get black kids to make fun of you

>>34492950
I still style my hair like anime characters
it'd be funny if i wasn't ugly

>be kid
>go to special school for some reason I don't understand
>classmates are deranged bullies, i am a wussy beta
>there is this autistic 1/10 girl in other classroom
>they tell me to fuck her
>proceed to lay on her and dryhump her, fully clothed
>teacher threatens to tell my parents
>cry and beg not to, tell my classmates made me do it
>all laugh

Probably my most shameful memory from elementary school. I was so glad when I graduated out of there and never had to go there again. I am 25 now and buried my childhood and try focusing on present, though I can never be normal because of all the shit I experienced.

>have essay due
>some 2000 words
>have to answer multiple questions
>do it all in one day
>at like 9 I see the second to last question
>some bullshir that doesn't make sense
>decide to type something like
I DONT FUCKING KNOW DO I THATS SO FUCKING STUPID I DONT KNOW HOW THIS ASSHAT WANKSTAIN GOT EMPLOYED AS A TEACHER
>then continued on like that never happened
>I'll delete it later
>hand in essay
>you can probably guess what happens
Right class I have got your essays marked but before I give you your grade I would like to read you one of your answers
"ahem I DONT FUCKING KNOW DO I"
>oh shit I didn't delete it
>he reads the whole answer out to everyone
>everyone laughing
So class can you guess who's essay that was from
>people are looking at me cause I have a tendency to do autistic shit
That's right it was anon

>be 16
>teacher talking about prom in school
>I'm sitting down being silent as per usual
>someone brings up prom dates
>I'm still silent and expressionless as usual
>teacher looks at me
Don't worry anon you don't need a date, you can still turn up without one
>I give him a glare that says When i shoot up the school you are going down first

>>34496930

I do shit like this in my papers too, and I wake up in a cold sweat because I'm afraid I didn't delete it. Hasn't happened yet though :^)

>>34492711
>>literally had the autism bullied out of me by 8th grade
>>by high school I could pass for normal

And people say that bullying is a bad thing. It's only bad if the kid being bullied doesn't learn.

>>34488033
I did that too

>>34491902
>If there's less than 6 conversations going on at once, I can listen in to them all.
Shit, that's actually really cool

>>34495432

Here's some advice about asking out girls you barely know:

Knock it off with that like/love shit. Nobody wants to be that invested in somebody they barely know, and you shouldn't want to be either.

>>34497207
this. bullying and hazing are part of normal development

>>34493592
>the school negro

>>34487544
>fuck you, my shitbag roastie roommate always sleeps through her alarm for hours or leaves for the night, locks her bedroom door, and leaves her alarm set so it rings until she comes back the next day

>literally hearing a klaxon or a song for a day straight
I would be beyond mad

>>34489999
Why is nobody checking these digits.

>be me in 9th grade
>wanted to run for class treasurer
>do a shit job campaigning, but planning the best speech ever
>wanted to include how much money last year's class raised
>sophomore girl in a class of mine offers me her number and to tell me how much they earned
>say no and that will do it myself
>realize five seconds later what I just did

I have a tucking great speech and was actually emotional compared to who I was running against. Got complimented by teachers and students and felt good. I lost, and it turns out that four classes didn't get to vote at all. 100 votes missing. Kids in classes that didn't vote say they we're all going to vote for me. Friend of winner days she didn't get to vote.

I lost to a blond, popular roastie girl, when I could've won. fuck her, I could've won. Still think it was rigged somehow

>>34486928

nah that makes you cool

>>34486946
This is LITERALLY how I got into drawing pinups

>>34497931
Can you post some please?

>>34493592
>used to watch shit like super mario bros z
Are you me?

>>34486636


>in uni class session for help on assignment
>the guy is writing on blackboard and talking, im just nodding my head yes to everything hes saying even though i dont know wtf is going oin
>he notices this i guess
>he asks a question to the class and then asks me directly if i know the answer
>sperg out completely
>get red and flustered
>"w-why are you a-a-asking me h-hha-ha i don't k-know it"
>can tell i look visibly shaken by it and am sperging out
>he moves on
>at the break i take my books and leave and drop the class


was more from my INTENSE social anxiety i had at the time rather than autism tho

>>34488881
Do you still have that diablo 2 comic? I would like to see it

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>>34491891
This is the closest I've got...

Originami

>>34491902
>If there's less than 6 conversations going on at once, I can listen in to them all.
That's like a superpower desu, I'm jelly

But I wasn't trying to dissuade >>34490521 ... focusing on details like spellings of names and the way people walk, even if you don't know them very well, is an autism trait. Some people are just attentive to everything, but it can be an autism thing.

>>34492787
>Shit came on the air 7 years ago anon,
Holy shit. I'm 24 and it seems like just a short time ago.

>>34492267
Wow anon, that one's actually pretty tender and sweet, like some kind of grody coming-of-age slice of life story

Thanks for sharing, hope your slut pillow gave you a good night's sleep

ITT robots admit being attention whores and call it autism

>>34492913
Christ, I'm 26 ;__; That's not encouraging

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>>34486636
>train martial arts
>hanging out with crush
>I should probably show how flexible I have become
>decide the best way to do this is to aim a kick that goes right over her head
>she moves up a tad right as I do it
>nail my crush right in the face
>don't even know what to say, how the fuck does one justify randomly kicking a girl in the face
>mfw she starts crying

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>>34492798
This probably made me laugh the hardest out of this entire thread. Good show, anon, you beautiful autismo

This thread is fucking golden. Please share more.

>>34492798
>look at him like pic related
Fucking kek

>>34493252
fuck i did this in class too

>>34496882
As a 25-year-old, what are you doing with your life now anon? How socially adjusted are you?

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>>34496930
I did something like this once.

>high school, 10th grade (I think?)
>gym coach nigger teacher with a hella inflated ego gives us this bullshit assignment
>"The first and last sentence of a textbook paragraph is the most important you can read, that's how speed reading works, so I want you to write the first and last sentence of every paragraph in our history book."
>da fuq
>We have a few weeks, but it's bullshit and I'm insulted by this assignment
>It's a third of our grade, no less
>tfw even my autistic brain can't focus on writing this out (because of course, it had to be hand-written)
>I start out writing it all normally, but then I just get pissy and start writing sentences like "You're not even reading this bullshit" and "This is the dumbest fucking assignment I've ever had"
>Tell myself I'll fix it at some point, but I never do
>We all turn the assignments in, I didn't even finish two thirds of the copying
>Weeks go by, and he returns them to us
>mfw everyone starts seeing that he actually thoroughly graded them like some kind of wizard-level autist
>mfw everyone is getting failing grades even if they put a lot of effort into it
>mfw he tells me he never got my assignment and I got a zero
>I fight him on it, insisting I did it and that I wouldn't have stooped so low as to not turn it in
>He tells me the next day he found it under his desk and would grade it
>Two days later, he gives it to me with a 93%
>All he did was make a few check marks, scratch out some copy errors, and then take off a few extra percent just to make it look like he did the work
>mfw his mistake saved my grade

>>34490113
>>34490140
just bang already

>>34486636
Used to say I could read minds/predict the future in elementary
Wrote a love poem in 4th grade to a girl I'd never spoken to b4

>>34497762
too busy checking autissimo instead.

>>34490347
This thread gets more and more degenerate the deeper I go, holy shit

>Limping around thinking it'd make people not want to pay any attention to me or talk to me because I was injured
>velociraptor hands
>stairs up on all fours
>jump up and down while flapping my hands up and down when excited
>Oh yeah all the way to 8th grade

I'm so fucked up

>>34486636
SHIT SHIT
THAT'S FAKE A LIE
FUCK YOU I NEVER DONE THAT

I used to pretend i was deaf to make girls feel sad for me.

I thought that would be the best way for me to get in their pants

>>34497342
real og

>>34498662
>i-i wanted to pr-prove how flexible I am

Could've done worse, anon. Well done.