I made a mistake with a girl.

>>34467309
Mate there is nothing wrong with being dependent on your parents while you study

>>34467352
Yeah, this 100%

You're bettering yourself and laying the groundwork for a happy and successful life. There will be plenty of other girls, this one was just a fuckin idiot, don't let it get you down.

>>34467309
no mistake, you did great
good thing she stopped. she should love you for who you are not what you have. be proud of who you are and where you are. don't you dare feel sorry for yourself because you did beautifully. honesty is the best. no shame, only honor.

>>34467401
>>34467370
It's nice to see some supportive comments coming out of here for once.

You just do you OP. What are you studying mate?

>>34467309
no, lying never works out. you would've just prolonged a time bomb and probably added to the explosion. you did good, and fuck her tbqh

>>34467352

This is true.

Girls are brutal, man. Also they don't really understand investing in their future.

>>34467451
Not to go full sjw over here, but I don't think it's specifically girls who don't invest in their future opposed to just most people. I certainly pay more attention to stuff like that when it comes to girls than my male friends but they're really the same way.

No real point here, just thinking out loud.

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>>34467352
>>34467370
>>34467401
>>34467428
>>34467436
>>34467451
>>34467505
Going for the Ol' bachelors degree. Gonna become a police officer hopefully.

Also studying German as a second language, inb4 it's useless. At least it'll look good on a resume.

>>34467505
the instant gratification complex is so prevalent today. People just don't seem to be comfortable sacrificing happiness now for even greater pleasure later

You took the moral high ground. Good on you bub.

Lying about it would have been a time bomb like another Anon said but speaking from personal experience.

It was going to be a time bomb whether you lied or not.

>>34467428
aw, i'm a girl (i hate saying this on this board but) i don't know who wouldn't be on op's side. the only mistake here is clearly her and her mentality. not trying to get into the whole women and what they look for in a man (financial stability can be a factor for some), but know that it has nothing to do with you. feel good for what you did. also, a man who works as a janitor is just as noble as a man who works as a ceo. i'm happy you were smart enough to be happy and honest. you should never lie about something you're proud of! i'm proud of you. you are not any less than her or any other man. god bless you and take it as a blessing that she revealed her true colors early on. you should never be ashamed of where you are. props on schooling and trying to do better - that's the spirit and way <3 cheers to your fruitful future! ^^

>>34467540

34467568 anon here

Sounds like she's aiming for someone to BE dependent off of.

She doesn't even consider your situation.

Just my take.

>>34467540
You're doing fine. As much as you might want to pursue it, I really advise just saying fuck it and moving on. You don't need to text her again or anything.

And hey, sometimes things just don't work out. That's part of finding somebody who you're compatible with. Better now than months down the line.

>>34467563
Yeah, I think that a lot of people are trying to "live in the moment" which is fair, but really immature. Being immature is fine though, some people need a few more years to grow up than others. No big deal imho

>>34467540
A bachelors in what?

your best option is to just walk away

>>34467590
everyone around here seems to jump at any opportunity to shit on someone.

Those were some very kind words for OP though

>>34467590
fembot gets it. Unless there's something huge you aren't telling us, you seem totally in the right OP

>>34467309
>"You should have lied about how you got your income, said you had a job."
You shouldn't even mention your income and your job. You build attraction in women by being mysterious, or playful, or confident, or fun. Not by showing your job and income (it only works if you're successful as fuck, and then it only attracts gold diggers).

>>34467540
Wow what a bitch. Delete her number OP, don't feel bad about your situation- there's nothing to feel bad about despite what she might have you believe, keep up your studies and see this as a lucky dodge- she sounds like a rude and picky vulture.

Some advice for next time though, although honesty is good- i.e. what you did, avoid advertising being lonely etc.

>>34467309
what is that thing that guy is holding

>>34467703
Yeah, not to criticize OP or anything since I don't know him or his situation but advertising loneliness isn't a great way to present yourself. my $0.02

Shes not into you, not being "independent" is just an excuse for her to say in order to walk away from you. Perhaps you didnt give her enough space, she probably felt that you were too clingy. You also got friend zoned, just because you took her on one date doesnt mean she must now stay with you. Did you ever have sex with her?

Why would you hate on someone who doesn't want to date an autist who thinks he's dependent even though he lives off daddy? Even through your posts you seem very timid and unconfident, (this thread proves my point). Do you have a car? You don't work, so you just go to school? How are your grades?

At any rate different strokes for different folks. She told you straight up what she's looking for and didn't sugar coat. Gotta respect that. She wants a man who's more well established and confident. Nothing wrong with that. There's other women op

>>34467793
Having a car or being a wageslave while studying isn't going to change anything, and again, there isn't anything wrong with living off your parents if they are able to support you while in school.

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>>34467563
>>34467568
>>34467590
>>34467605
>>34467621
>>34467643
>>34467660
>>34467687
>>34467703
>>34467723
>>34467766
>>34467793
Well, I just deleted and blocked her number.

I'm trying hard, going to the gym, improving diet.

>take it as a blessing that she revealed her true colors early on
>Better now than months down the line

Yeah, I guess.

>A bachelors in what?

I looked it up because I didn't even consider it, (it's only my first quarter)

I guess it should probably be criminal justice, although the sites say there is no one best degree.

>You shouldn't even mention your income and your job
Believe me I wouldn't if I could avoid it. But it ALWAYS comes up. Not sure what I'm supposed to say.

>Shes not into you, not being "independent" is just an excuse for her to say in order to walk away from you. Perhaps you didnt give her enough space, she probably felt that you were too clingy.

I wish she would have just told me that, it certainly would have hurt less.

>Did you ever have sex with her?
Nope.

>Why would you hate on someone who doesn't want to date an autist who thinks he's dependent even though he lives off daddy? Even through your posts you seem very timid and unconfident, (this thread proves my point). Do you have a car? You don't work, so you just go to school? How are your grades?

I'm not timid or unconfident, I'm just a realist about my situation.

I don't "hate" her. I just think she's a little two faced for presenting herself one way and then turning around and dumping me for something superficial.

And yes I have a car, it's a 1997 Honda Accord. Its my first car, and my first year driving. I love to drive around at night.

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>>34467309
Dude, that's not what she meant, holy shit.
She didn't want to have you on her ass all day, everyday. That's what she meant by "Independent". She wasn't talking about you and your parents, she's talking about you texting or calling her constantly, always willing to meet up.
She just wants her freedom, and believe me, there's nothing worse than having someone constantly poking you because they like/love you.

That's why she went to the bar without you. She wanted to spend a bit of time with friends, with relatives, or just alone, simply without you. You were probably so attached to you became toxic to her.
I know what I'm talking about.

>I told her a lot about myself
why? this was a huge mistake dude, you just met her, consider her a complete stranger until you've had sex with her a couple of times.
what did you do on your date? where did you go, what did you discuss?
don't be so transparent about the unfortunate details of your life and don't let her get you in a position where it feels like she's conducting a job interview with you.

>>34467309
Be glad you got rid of that goldigger

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You need to spend enough time with a girl first to make any meaningful mistakes.

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>>34467963
You're right. Getting attached was my problem.

I'm an idiot. I'm a big stupid idiot.

I brought this feeling on myself.

>>34467983
Next time I'll just be as minimal as possible with my information.

I don't want to be this way. I hate getting overly attached and emotional at the first hint of anothers attention.

I truly am fucking pathetic.

>>34467540
>I'm looking for someone independent with a stable income that I can depend on while I pursue my jack shit degree while riding the cock carousel in college

>>34468214
This. She just wanted OP for beta bux.

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>>34468214
>>34468232
Actually, she was a Chef, one who went to culinary school.

She said she didn't feel safe around her roomates and that they were drunk assholes.

I offered to give her my place if things worked out.

She seemed to entertain the notion, and it really seemed like she was gonna do it.


There was some other business about her parents forcing her to learn german for 2 years. Something about she just disowning her entire family, calling them "a joke".

Really weird shit. I assume her parents were Nazis or some shit and she just went full Lib and got away from them.

>>34468283
>I offered to give her my place if things worked out.
That's when she thought she was in for a few ride.
Of course she then assumed that you had money to pay for your place and for all her shit.

Stop being such a gullible bluepill faggot.
Women will never love you. they will only love what you can do for them. If that's nothng, you're SOL.

how old are you and where did you meet her OP?

>>34467309
"Not independent enough" is code for "I want a man to support me financially". She is probably not independent enough. Girls have different standards. Guys don't mind taking care of someone they care about. The only girls who take care of guys are the desperate ones who put their careers first and are now fat, old, and ugly.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a women hater. Some girls just want to settle down, i.e. find someone to support them. There are some who are willing to put as much effort as their partner.

Consider yourself lucky.

>>34468182
You're just desperately lonely, so you're clinging to every hint of interest from the opposite sex, and that's what made her hit the "Eject" button. This has nothing to do with how much information about you give to a girl you meet, it's all about you getting too clingy and picturing yourself being married with a girl you just met.
I know it may sound hard to do, but just don't give a fuck about women, and I promise you'll get pussy.

As a fat, lonely but not asocial geek , I've been trying to get a GF for 20 years, with only humiliating and/or painful results.
Then I said Fuck it, and I stopped trying or give a shit about being laid. I was pretty happy living with myself, and I shit you not, since then, I've been hit on by a dozen girls in 4 years.
But since I have a GF and I'm not a shithead, I turned them off.

Do whatever feels right to you, but if you want a GF who is not a psycho, don't be too clingy.

>>34468283
>I offered to give her my place if things worked out.

On the first date you already talk about her moving in "if things work out"? After a handful of texts and a couple of hours together?

>34467963 is absolutely right, by "more independent" she didn't mean with regards to you parents, she meant with regards to HER - talking about moving in, about her "dumping" you, after 1 date, seems to imply she was right.

OP, I'm just giving advice, I don't mean to be mean. Fuck, you're going on dates and actually interacting with girls, this is great!

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>>34468353
>in for a free ride
>Women will never love you. they will only love what you can do for them

You're right. It's time to redpill the fuck up.

>>34468397
26, she was 25. (I was a lonely depressed drifter mostly through my 20s and it's only this past year I've gotten myself back together)

>>34468397
Plenty of Fish.

>>34468427
>You're just desperately lonely, so you're clinging to every hint of interest from the opposite sex, and that's what made her hit the "Eject" button.

I want to kill these beta feelings inside me.

That's all I wanted to was just to settle down. But fuck it, who cares. Women don't deserve my love and undivided attention. Shitty roasties.

>I was pretty happy living with myself, and I shit you not, since then, I've been hit on by a dozen girls in 4 years.

Yeah, I guess it is time to bury my sentimental feelings in the backyard. Who needs them?

I'm sick of feeling like dogshit. All this pain burning inside me. Stupid women being so superficial. If superficial is what you want, then that's all you'll get from me.

Feelings are for betas, feelings are for pussies.

>>34468475
>After a handful of texts and a couple of hours together?

Yeah, well I messed up. Pinning all my hope on some naive fantasy. Thinking she was any different from any other girl.

>I'm just giving advice, I don't mean to be mean. Fuck, you're going on dates and actually interacting with girls

It's good for me to hear this. I needed to hear it. Women don't like guys with feelings, women just want to feel good. They want to boost themselves up, morally, socially, and financially. They're hedonistic animals that don't deserve the bones from a dogs kennel.

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Alright, I want to know who in this thread is not a virgin, or never went in an actual relationship.

You all understand "You're not independent enough" as "You don't have enough money, you live with your parents, I'm a golddigger, bye" instead of the actual "You're too emotionnally depending on me, and that scares me, I don't want to change my entire lifestyle to fit your needs".

I know how lonely most of us are. And judging by OP's post, she never talked about money once,BUT she implicitly expressed the will to go out at the bar without OP, because she wants to spend a bit of time with friends, or by herself.

You people have no idea how much of a red flag dating someone clingy is. Your entire lifestyle, the way you act, your daily routine, your free time, all those things would have to change to accomodate a clingy person. This is fucking scary. She probably realized that during/after the first date and decided to pull the plug, not out of spite or to hurt you, but for her sake.
I already reacted like that for a clingy girl, but I tried to do it more softly. Turned out the soft way isn't how you cut contact with a clingy person. You just have to somehow willingfully ignore the person (And that can have a toll on your self-esteem, it's not an easy thing to do) until they give up by themselves.

Just like what OP's girl did.

>>34467352
Theres also nothing wrong with being dependent on your parents for as long as they live

>>34468644

This.

Coming on as strong as OP did is a massive red flag. You have to pace out your reveals and emotional spills as the relationship progresses to appropriate points.

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>>34468636
>Yeah, I guess it is time to bury my sentimental feelings in the backyard. Who needs them?

Actual men. If you want to have a nice and long relationship, you'll need feelings.

The easy way is to act like a dick and replace your heart with your balls. But it will make you a Chad, and I doubt anyone on here would be a very successful Chad.
The hard but right thing to do for us betas is not to kill your sentimental feelings and forget about them, but it's to lock them up somewhere they won't bother you, and learn to live happy without them.
And then, when the time comes, after you've hooked up a girl tingling your heart and after you're SURE you both are attracted to each other, ONLY THEN you can unlock that cell where you put your sentimental feelings, and SLOWLY pour them in your relationship. Don't drop your spaghettis by getting super clingy again.
Building strong and lasting things take time and care. Rushing things will only result in bad endings.

>>34467309
You are too gullible. This is not about your not having a job. There was something else she didn't like about you and she was looking for an explanation that wouldn't make her look like a superficial cunt.

>>34468475
This is why women dislike inexperienced men. It's not because they are virgins but becausw they tend to have the mindset of 14 year old boys, desu.

>>34468644
Dubs confirm the truth. Clinginess is a major turn-off.

I feel with you OP, I recently did a similar thing with a coworker I just met

She was into me but I showed my loneliness and neediness and she run away

Women are mostly such a huge waste of time, you need to focus on all the other shit first instead of obsessing

But I know how it is because I'm horny 24/7 and very lonely

>>34468804
You lock them away until she is 35. Before she hits the wall, show any emotion and she'll dump you for Chad.

>>34469033
Girls already had to deal with needy guys when they were 15 and in their first relationship. There is nothing wrong with wanting a guy who has his own life and interests.

>>34467309
don't ever talk about your financial sustenance with other people who aren't by law required to be silent. just leave it vague and mysterious and none of their business. you have nothing to gain by talking about it, and since what you do seems to work they will give you the benefit of the doubt

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>>34468804
I don't want to hurt anymore. I would do anything not to feel this pain anymore.

The pain of feeling so utterly pathetic.

Never again. I have another date coming up tomorrow. And I'll be sure to show no emotions, I will respond when spoken to. I will entertain conversation at a basic level, but I will go no further. I will show no interest.

Women have proven themselves to be animals. Walking meat dumpsters of the absolute lowest caliber. I have seen the light, no longer will I feel hurt anymore.

>>34468869
>that wouldn't make her look like a superficial cunt.

She certainly failed pretty hard at that. No I think that just about proves that women were it not for their physical appearances and natural child rearing capacities, should pretty much just be sent to the gas chambers.

In fact if we could get a law going that humanely euthanizes women who no longer have the capability to breed I think we'd be taking a step in the right direction.

>>34469033
>Women are mostly such a huge waste of time

They really are. To hell with women, I can't believe I ever respected them. I'll never hold the door open for a woman again.

And yes, I'll focus on other shit first. And when I meet women I will treat them just like the superficial stupid animals they are.

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>>34468636
>>34467309
>>34469186

And so another one is born. Regrettable, but the best outcome for the individual. You are a good man OP, don't let bitches get you down. I am in the exact same situation (but younger) and I feel the same way. The path you are taking is the right one for the modern world and for you, but it will hurt. You are not pathetic. If anything, you are the opposite, but the world's standards are fucked. Push on man, you will make it. Changed, but you will make it. Wishing you the best in destroying the weakness that lies within you.

>>34467540
I studied German as a second language, it's actually very useful as far as European languages go. The only better one imo is Spanish.

Man judging from your posts, I can totally empathise with you. It's really weird because it feels like these could've been written by me as well. I'm at a similar point and I can give you some advice to kill this clingyness (is that the correct word in English?). If you somehow can, try to befriend some girls you have no romantic interest in - because they have a bf, are too young or old, are not your type etc. That way, you have someone to talk to who hasn't got a dick, get quality advice with girls and, in general, have conversations of a whole different quality. It's not the same as having a gf but it can substitute a lot.
I have done this without knowing it; some areas of my uni life involve a lot of girls so I get the exposure and have to get along with them anyway. Now I have three girls, I regularly talk to: One has a bf, one is working on her PhD and way out of my league in many ways, and one is a girl I know from laboratory who is kinda tomboyish and not my type. Works for me, maybe it could work for you, too.
And if you want someone to practise German with, I can help you. Native speaker here.

>>34469424
Ich mag Reifen zu essen

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>>34469257
>>34469348
>>34469424
>>34469464


It took five years but the world finally broke me.. It broke down everything I was, and transformed me into something completely different.

Every time I tried to be nice, every time I tried to be honest, every time I tried to do what was right.. It always backfired.

The world is fucked. I realize this now. Just like in game of thrones, "In order to win, you must play the game".

I thought I was too good for the game, I could never treat women badly, or use them, because I cared too much.

But women never returned my kindness, not even once.

Forgive me Lord, the evils of this world are too strong for a mortal like me to resist.

>>34469424
I would love someone to practice German with.

I sure hope this is the right path, because from here on out, there's no turning back.

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I'm a 28 year old lawyer making 6 figures. I live on my own in a nice part of a big city. I drive a new car. I'm not fat.

Still can't get a gf.

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>>34470499
Explain to me how this works?

>>34470620

You tell me. I go on dates, I go to mixers etc. Nothing sticks. I've hit a new level of loneliness.

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>>34470651
Loneliness is a tool women use to control us.

I know this now.

If I had to speculate, it's that the game has been so socially rigged that women just have too many men to choose from so they can afford to be picky.

>>34470705

Pretty much. It's all a big scam.

The only thing that keeps me going is trying to have a family to continue my family lineage.

>>34470387
Just stop being so fucking cringy, you always have a choice. If you don't like the game, don't play it. No offense, but you sound like a twelve year old.

Any way to contact you? Rather Skype or E-Mail?

>>34467540
You actually missed a bullet there boyo, this is not a person you want to be around

>>34470651
You sound like a guy that few women on this planet deserve. Out of my own selfishness, I'm glad that no idiotic bitch got her hands on you, and I hope it stays that way.

Fembot here, just curious: what's actually bad about what she did / how she reacted?

The girl said clearly that she knows what she wants, and it's not as if they were dating? I've been on plenty of dates and known plenty of guys who I quickly realized weren't the right fit for me, that's just the way of the girls. If anything the girl should be praised because she wasn't looking to settle for some one-night thing but wanted to be in a relationship with a stable, reliable guy. I'm sorry but relying on your hard-working and probably elderly parent to pay for your meals, your utilities, your house, your dates, and everything else is just selfish and wrong.

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>>34471048
> I'm sorry but relying on your hard-working and probably elderly parent to pay for your meals, your utilities, your house, your dates, and everything else is just selfish and wrong.

You're right, I should have starved to death on the street instead of accepting help from my Dad.

>>34471093
No, silly! Argh I probably sound like a bitch. I just mean, why not get a job, any job, so you can be more independent? It's just little steps. My bf is a depressed robot like me but he holds down a retail job while studying. If I knew all the gifts etc he buys me were paid for by his dad I'd feel hella guilty. Just sayin...

I get this quite a bit, for the girl its usually when you're all right but not overly attractive that money will be the deal breaker.

>>34470939

Ha thanks. Yeah that's how I comfort myself.

>>34471125
Its why I mean Charlie Sheen is bat shit crazy but Denise Richards stayed with him all that time 'cause he was super rich. J Law would prefer to go with Larry David over Woody Allen, she gave him his number, he didn't call it. Why LD over Woody? LD has about 200 million dollars more lol

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>>34471119
Did you not even read what I wrote?

"I tried getting entry level jobs but literally couldn't even during hiring season because the level of young college students who were more experienced and better qualified was too damn high."

Yeah, I know, I'm pure scum for going to college and trying to better myself but not working at the local McCrackShack while I'm doing it.

>>34470761
Also sorry for the cringe, I was really upset and I didn't know how to convey the feelings I was having.

>>34471125
Fucking money man.. Like I guess it wouldn't even matter what I was doing if I was one of Trumps kids, I'd just be set for life.