/britfeel/

First month almost over already lads. We'll all be dead in no time at this rate. Can't wait

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Fucking hell lads, just got back from the doctors, he said my testosterone levels are all good (dont know what that means in terms of levels though) and he asked whether my ads were causing ED, I said yeah and he said he would change my medication next month to something that wouldnt cause it, HOWEVER when I got home my mum was grilling me on what I said and I let slip about my ED and she looked so sad then shut the door of the kitchen and spoke to me about wanking I was so fucking freaked out, she said just keep going til you cum then let me know how long it took and whether you could keep an erection.

WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THIS??????

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Happy friday!

If you've got them, post them.

If you haven't then dont worry becauae you'll always have britfeel.

I keep eating all the chicken sandwhich meat in the fridge, my mother loses her shit and doesn't know who's doing it.

Fuck her though, I pay rent I should be allowed to eat whatever I like.

>>34446949
Sounds like you're trapped in a poorly written porno lad. Best running to the woods. Laying low for a while

>>34446949
Reminds me of a story I saw in the papers years ago

>Woman wakes up to find her 16 year old son raping her
>He finishes and leaves
>She never sees him again

Tfw in an empty flat with a virgin engineer and I'm just trying not to look aspie. Going to have to buy a long ethernet cable as well

>>34446989
It felt like that, I kept saying ''You dont need to say anything'' and she just went ''You know what I mean dont you...'' I just told her to leave me be....

>>34447010
Mummy is for hugs not fugs

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>want to die
>don't want to kill myself

Just waiting for a bus to hit me any day now lads

>>34446987
>I pay rent I should be allowed to eat whatever I like.

That's not how it works you fucking idiot

>>34447051
>senran kagura

Is that the one with the really hot facefucking scene?

>>34447051
just smoke m8 easy

that first cig feeling in the morning is the best

Might listen to some Fat Teddy while I do some housework

waiting on a phonecall from my boss feels like i'm waiting for death. fuck sake lads

>>34446949
You posted this last thread, fuck off.

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>>34447094
Fucking hell lads, just got back from the doctors, he said my testosterone levels are all good (dont know what that means in terms of levels though) and he asked whether my ads were causing ED, I said yeah and he said he would change my medication next month to something that would not cause it, HOWEVER when I got home my mum was grilling me on what I said and I let slip about my ED and she looked so sad then shut the door in the kitchen and spoke to me about wanking I was so fucking freaked out, she said just keep going til you cum then let me know how long it took and whether you could keep an erection.

WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THIS?????

>>34446966
why do you bully other waifu posters such as Karen and Monica?

>>34447057
Is too, just try and stop me

>>34446949
if real and not bait your mom wants to help u cum hide a stash of her diry panties in ur room and let her find it this leads to sex trust me.

>>34446949
>my testosterone levels

Is that you, Jahans? You fat cunt

>>34447106
Can you give me a quick rundown on your situation? Don't understand

>>34447077
Fuck don't smoke lads!

Worst thing ever, waste of money, you smell like shit and have grim teeth. I don't want to live either but I pride myself on my amazing cardio. You want to get in a fight with some chav only to run out of breath 30 seconds in? Pathetic.

>>34447134
This. If you are gonna be a loser, channel that bald feels man in the hoody and be a healthy one

>>34447132
Don't worry about that staff discount.

What does /britfeel/ think of MGTOW and incels ??

ive got a virus lads. i am going to miss my boxing class once again because of this. im so pissed off.

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>>34447132
how about a quick rundown about these guys?

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>>34446966
>tfw your waifu will never be in the op

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>>34447114
Its real, super awkward cause brother was upstairs ... I hope you're wrong tho, I love mummy but not want to fuggy.

>>34447115
Not me, just was worried my testosterone was to blame for my depression and anxiety, turns out im a bit of a hypochondriac

>>34447132
>get home from doctors
>mum asks how it went
>''im on a repeat prescription and he said next month he'll change it''
>''Why does he want to change it?''
>''Oh just cause of some side effects''
>''What side effects''
>''Oh nothing''
>Mum works at mental hospital so knows side effects already
>''Its not ED is it anon?''
>I got defensive and said
>'Not ED just struggling to maintain''
>She looks really sad and goes to give me a hug
>I tell her im fine and not to worry
>She passes me and closes kitchen door
>''You know what you can do right anon?''
>Extremesweat.jpg
>''PLEASE DONT STOP TALKING''
>''Well you should try and just keep going til you can you know and tell me if you can maintain or how long it takes''
>'jesus please stop talking, leave me be''
>''Well you know what I mean''
>'JESUS CHRIST''

She's also started reading on ED cures and has gone to get me omega fish oils...

>>34447158
What do you mean by this

Original desu

>>34447134
Cardio is for females

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>>34447111
Oh shit sorry sir. I hadn't noticed your trips

>>34447183

For fuck sake man, get a grip. It's just because of anxiety, and the more it happens the more you worry. I'm guessing there's nobody waiting for you to fuck them, so just leave it alone for a while and concentrate on something else.

>>34447183
i dont see a problem with this anon, your mum cares about you, she isnt asking to jerk you off or anything like that, she knows it can be horrible if a guy struggles to get it up and cant enjoy themselves, she cares about you a lot

>>34447183
you probably have it because you're fat. im half mates with someone who suffers from the same problem because he put on a lot of weight. go on a diet.

>>34447199
dont worry jim i checked 'em

>>34447225

I think he has it because of anti-depressants. I know what it's like, I have been on three different types. I never got ED as such but my sex drive did lower, after a while it evens itself back out though.

The only weird one was Lofepramine, that made me cum a hideous amount, it was like going for a piss.

>>34447077
I vape my dude.

Best thing ever did was switch from the cigs, my fingers don't stink anymore and I'm not coughing like fuck.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38767941

Prohibition returns to France.

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>>34447206
>>34447220
Yeah you two are probs right.... I know its not anything its just its so unlike her to talk about things so bluntly like that, just shocked me.

>>34447225
Im fat AND on anti depressants though my sex drive and peen were fine before. Im on a diet but its mostly like what >>34447254 said.

When does it get hot again lads?

I've never kept track of it before, I vaguely remember it being warmish in April last year.

>>34447284
bet youre not as fat as me lad

>>34447225
Yeah I'm three quarters mates with some dude that has similar issues

Funny old world...

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>>34447294
Cmon then, fat stat me? Bet I win.

Here we go;
210 5'6 like a fucking meatball.
Those arent my current stats but were my stats when I started dieting.

>>34447316
5'3 180, still think i beat you desu

>>34447316

>5'6

Poor bugger. I don't even know what I weigh, but I look like Dr Robotnik now. I was quite skinny a couple of years ago, but i'm 30 and time is kicking my head in.

>>34447316
>dieting

what a fucking normie

>>34447316
>>34447327
6'0 240lbs

Do I win or does height play more of a factor than I think it does?

>>34447345
fuck off you cunt normie chad

>>34447284
>Im fat AND on anti depressants though my sex drive and peen were fine before.

maybe the combination of both has caused it.

fat people annoy me because i know how easy it is to lose weight. start counting your calories. you must take in at least 3000 calories to stay at the weight you are at. you cant do a lot of things normal people can do. my fat mates never want to go out because they dont like going on long walks.

my fat mates always go on diets but they give up quickly.

>>34447370
It's all fat lad

>>34447383
>6'0

doesnt matter at all

skelly contest lads

6'2 125 pounds

>>34447327
>5'3 180,

think i would just give up on life if i was you, unless you are a girl. you poor soul.

>>34447398
of course ive given up on life

most aesthetically pleasing body contest:

6'2"
210lbs
9% bodyfat

>>34447395
>6'2 125 pounds

how are you not dead? that is under weight for my height and im 5'8. should go on a bulk. even looking a bit fat looks decent at your height.

>all the normies now posting about their perfect bodies

Anon who got his bed pissed in by grill the other night here, in case you remember. She stayed over again last night. Sex at night and in the morning and no urine this time. Still got stuff drying all over my flat though.

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>>34447376
Im doing well in my diet atm, and i've not had any cravings, my problem was I wouldnt eat all day then at like 11pm id order takeaway and get a shit ton of food, I've lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks and 4 days so far and my next ''weigh in'' is on monday. Im taking it slow and steady, no point trying to lose 5 pounds a week or some shit just to end up with excess skin.

>>34447345
You're like my brother only he is 6'2 and a real chad with the women despite being fat.

>>34447418
>6'2"
>210lbs
>9% bodyfat

how do you do this? is your diet perfect? i dont see how you can go on nights out and have a body so perfect.

>>34447316
Used to be 6' 287lbs/ 20.5 stone lad, you can lose the weight fairly easily it isn't hard

>>34447438
eating habits are immaculate and i gave up drinking years ago

easily obtainable if you're willing to put in the work

>>34447436
>im doing well in my diet atm

keep it up. easting less will become a habit, and your body will adjust to it after a while. my fat mates would always fuck it up because they would end up ordering a pizza or buy a tube of pringles for themselves. they would try justifying it by saying they are gonna go on a run tomorrow. they never did go on the run, and going on a run only burns like 200-300 calories. a tube of pringles is like 1000 calories.

>>34447418
show pics
with willy

>go to the local man of dark persuasion shop
>get a lucky dip for tonight
>see the numbers
>30 35 36 37 38

I know they are as likely as any other set of numbers to come up, but those numbers will never fucking come.

What have you got for lunch my fine friends?

Shin cup and a bag of roysters for me.

>>34447474

dont know if its worth the sacrifice. if i dont drink i am basically giving up my social life. i like eating some junk food.

think i would personally rather have just a decent body and not an incredible one because the sacrifices dont seem worth it.

>>34447421
I dunno
I eat loads
just today I've had 6 weetabix, a banana, a cheese wrap, a sandwich and I think I am going to have a curry soon

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>>34447504
chicken nuggets pizza and chips

>>34447442
Yeah I've been getting a bus to work training and then (power) walking back along the river mersey so nobody will see me and also doing dumbell exercises 3 times a week which is actually more fun than I thought and im already noticing things getting easier.

>>34447475
to be absolutely honest im an actual spiteful cunt and the main reason for losing weight is so I can judge my brother on his eating habits, its like the thing that is truly driving me, I mean im not fussed about eating healthy because its easier than eating shit and I feel great at the moment health wise but at the core of it I just want to be able to fat shame my brother because he is extremely toxic to me and part of the reason I got so fat.

Also I havent even ate anything that could be called unhealthy, the only time i've been tempted was at work training the tutor bought biscuits and everyone had one except me, it was less wanting a biscuit and more want to fit in but I still said no which is a small victory I guess.


So for the blog

>>34447504
Shin cup are spicy as fuck, they make my face all sweaty.

>>34447516
each to their own, giving up alcohol and drugs is the best descision i've ever made and i can go out and socialise without it so i'm not bothered, you soon find new things to do with your evenings/weekends, can't imagine drinking again, it seems so pointless now

>>34447520
that is about 1000 calories so far, not that much considering your height. the sandwhich, weetabix, and banana is shit if you're trying to gain weight because they barely contain any fat. tell me how much your normally eat for an entire day.

>>34447584
>giving up alcohol and drugs is the best descision i've ever made and i can go out and socialise without it so i'm not bothered,

i have thought about giving drinking up. i dont drink often anyway but i quickly realized that i cant spend my night with drunk people while i am sober. maybe its just the city here but people dont do much here except drink and take drugs. what other things can you do?

>>34447549
>o be absolutely honest im an actual spiteful cunt and the main reason for losing weight is so I can judge my brother on his eating habits, its like the thing that is truly driving me, I mean im not fussed about eating healthy because its easier than eating shit and I feel great at the moment health wise but at the core of it I just want to be able to fat shame my brother because he is extremely toxic to me and part of the reason I got so fat.

well if its helping you lose weight then i wont judge.

>>34447616

Start a book club? Spend the week reading a literary classic then all deconstruct it in turn and laugh at the person with the most outlandish interpretation!

What's the most you've ever eaten in 24 hours?

I used to go to Tesco and take aways and buy a bunch of shit:

>Two tubes of Pringles, the big ones
>Giant bag of Doritos
>10 breaded chicken breasts
>10 sausage rolls
>Loaf of bread and chocolate spread
>Packet of Oreos
>2L of Coke and Lilt
>A chocolate cake
>10 Chicken balls
>Kebab meat and chips

I haven't eaten like that in over a year though, I put on about 40lbs in 6 months probably when I was eating like that.

>>34447654
I want you to delete this post and think about what the fuck you are doing.

>>34447629
i have tried looking up book clubs for my city and i have only found ones that are aimed at middle aged women, and they where on about once a month. plus, i dont really have time to read books atm because of uni. plus, its the fact that i cant really get proper friends with someone with out drink being involved because going to pub is a norm of socializing here.

There's a man at my work who always smells of shit because he is obese and must not be able to wipe his arse properly

>>34447549
>Fatshaming
>Toxic

lol, fatty fatty bum bum fuck off back to tumblr you landwhale

>>34447345
>>34447316
>>34447327
5'11 and 280lbs here lads.

I beat you all on sheer weight alone.

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>>34447688
I think you need to reread what I wrote because im not quite sure what you're trying to say.

>>34447659
You fat cunt
No offense
Always wonder how people manage to get fat. Even when I think I'm eating a lot it doesn't compare to what you've just listed. You've opened my mind, gave Mr the answers. I was sat here playing checkers and you were playing chess. Well played fatty

>>34447549
Exercise doesn't matter for shit, just count calories. Don't eat like a fatty and you won't be one.

>>34447616
same all over UK, everyone competing to see who can fuck themselves up the most part of the reason why i decided to become tee total

>what other things can you do?

depends what your interests are.. i spend most of my spare time either at the gym, out on my motorbike, volunteering at the local rehab centre or with my girlfriend (who i met at rehab) it's a lot easier to stay sober when you have someone to do it with you

also like to travel a lot, been to every county in the UK and 56 countries so far

>>34447654
What an ugly cunt. I was honestly thinking it would have 1000 views max but if the guy is really getting 83k every single day then he's got a pretty good income from that.

Just shows you that the secret to youtube is being ridiculously high energy.

>>34447694
>5'11 and 280lbs
Fucking hell, you must be taller laying down than when you're stood up.

>>34447694
Oof! You gave up lad or just proud of being fat?


>>34447706
Yeah im not doing anything too much, im normally eating 1000-1500 cals a day, my only problem is on more than one occasion ive realised ive only ate like 500 cals throughout the whole day which im trying not to make a habit.

>>34447670
What was the post m80?

>>34447575
They make my nose runny, it's pretty annoying but the taste is worth it.

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Looks like she has a penis ngl

>>34447721
>everyone competing to see who can fuck themselves up

yeah, thats why i dont go out that often. its retarded.

my interests consist of video games, working out/boxing, and reading. seems easier if you have a gf who will support you. all the girls i have met where really into drinking.

my close friends are kinda like me, in the sense they the culture in england is retarded with regards to drinking. only problems is that my close friends are flaky. tried making other friends but they are massively into drugs and drinking.

>>34447702
FUCK. OFF. BACK. TO. TUMBLR.

Take your faggot language with you

>>34447767
the fuck is wrong with its face?

>>34447729
Haha not quite. I have a massive frame so it's spread out a bit.
>>34447731
>Oof! You gave up lad or just proud of being fat?

Neither. I've always been a massive guy and I don't mean in terms of being fat, very broad shoulders etc, and I used to play rugby at quite a high level.

Then I stopped doing sports, started smoking a lot of weed, lived in America for a while and didn't really check my weight or worry about what I was eating/massive amount of beer I was consuming.

Got a big wake up call when I stepped on the scales for the first time in a long time about 6 weeks ago. The 280lbs is from then. Been eating healthy and being more active since.

What should I get for lunch lads, seriously in a conundrum here.

Help a brother out

>>34447705
I am a fat cunt, losing weight now though by watching what I eat.

Also I didn't eat like that every day, maybe 2 or 3 times a week. But yeah I ate way more than I should've and the weight just piled on over the course of 2 years whereas before I was skinnyfat. Never again, I refuse to gain any more weight.

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>>34447792
So this...is the power...of an autistic robot....

>>34447804
sausage rolls or pom bears, maybe both if you want to be a fat fuck

>>34447804
What are your options lad?

>>34447824
Need better than this lads.

Pom bears thoigh, haven't had them in years. Might have to acquire

>>34447804

Cheeky Greggs

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>>34447795
Good luck then anon, im sure we'll all make it.

>>34447840
Not him, but what's the best bake to get from Greggs?

>>34447782
not sure what to suggest really mate, i know it sounds generic as fuck but try volunteering somewhere, people that volunteer aren't usually the type to go out and get wrecked every weekend, failing that save up as much as you can, pack a bag and go travel, stay at hostels, meet other travellers, again not the type to want to go get wrecked all the time due to wanting their money to actually survive

it's a big wide world buddy, go explore it

>>34447847
Thanks mate. I don't care about vanity I just want to be healthy and have a lot of energy. I'm off the booze and that's been helping a lot.

>>34447857
Steak bake lad, or maybe a few cheeky sausage rolls. I know my top 3 from greggs are;
Steak bake (fucking hell what a pasty)
Meat and potato
Sausage rolls

But if we're being cheeky and fancy a mix up maybe go for a pizza baguette or a tuna baguette.

Dont forget your gingerbread man though.

>>34447857
I'm fond of the cheese & onion and steak bake.

>>34447857
Obviously steak bake. But sausage roll is better than any bake.

Best Greggs order:

>Chargrilled Chicken Oval Bite
>Sausage Roll
>Fudge Donut
>Irn Bru

Of course that's a serious fat bastard meal. I only do it a couple of times a month when I'm hung over.

>>34447882
>i know it sounds generic as fuck but try volunteering somewhere

have thought about this. might do it over the summer when i am off uni.

>>34447857

OFFICIAL GREGGS MENU POWER RANKINGS

1. Festive Bake
2. Sausage and Bean Melt
POWER GAP
3. Steak Bake
4. Sausage Roll
5. Cheese and Onion Pasty
POWER GAP
6. Chicken Bake
7. Pepperoni Pizza
8. Margherita Pizza
9001. Katsu Chicken Bake

>>34447840
>TFW no Greg's in potato land
>TFW no Percy ingle either

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>>34447745

It was a sh*tpost of low humour.

>>34447923
>Festive Bake

Never had one because it sounds utterly disgusting, is it really that good?

Can any other anons chime in on this?

>>34447926
>potato land
FENIANS OUT

>>34447949
festive bake is the tits lad. I always thought the same about it sounding gross until a mate bought me one and convinced me to try it. You know it is truly Christmas when the festive bake come out.

>>34447949

I'm already counting the days until they come back. Maybe it's just because I can't have them all the time, like easter eggs.

>>34447926
Percy Ingle is fucking rank.

I tried one of their sausage rolls and it tasted like they vomited the meat into the pastry.

Bunch of fat northern monkeys discussing their favourite pastries

Disgusting

love me a good pan o chocolar desu

>>34448027
kys your southern scum, everyone hates you.

FRIENDLY REMINDER IF YOU'RE SOUTH OF MANCHESTER YOU'RE NOT NORTHERN YOU ARE UTTER RUBBISH AND NEED TO TOP YOURSELF.

>>34448045
>eating French muk

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>Recently started seeing girl
>I paid for a hotel and we spent NYE together
>She's now paying for a week long holiday to Malta
>Big titty red-head nurse

Who else is venturing into the realms of gf-dom?

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You have 1 quid in your pocket britfeel, what do you buy from the corner shop?

I'd get two of these bad boys

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>>34446966

Nice dubs, where are your 2D friends?

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>>34448090
cha-ching!

What's wrong with me lads? Do I have defective genes? I'm almost 22, the only hair I have on my body is 1 / 4 of my leg below the knee and in my pubic region. My chest, back, thighs and arms are fucking bare. What the fuck. I get some stray hairs above my lip to form a pathetic mustache. Am I fucked?

>>34448090

Big bag of Wotsits

>>34448085
>who else is venturing into the realms of gf-dom?

i was seeing a girl similar to what you describe. this was about half a year ago. was decent while it lasted. i lost my virginity to her but she doesent know that.

>>34448108
Dunno m8 I guess they're all at work or college or uni or whatever.

I'm at work too but I'm not actually working

>>34448138
>depriving a girl of the knowledge that she was your first

I know that feel bro

>they didn't already know

>>34448127

You are light skinned and light haired hopefully, we tend not to get to much body hair.

>>34447964
Ex pat lad have mercy on me

>>34448166
i feel like she wouldent of fucked me. i just told her that i havent had sex for 2 years.

>>34448138
Did you rape her while she was sleeping?

>>34448241
That's why I lost my virginity to a prossie. so I would have practice and wouldn't have to lie about being a virgin.

>>34448243
>Did you rape her while she was sleeping?

no lol. that would be fucked up. we had sex with in 5 minutes of meeting. we had spoken about it before hand. she was like an 8. think i just got lucky. she hadnt had sex for a few years so im guessing she was craving some cock.

>>34448261
i thought about doing this but thought it would of felt weird and uncomfortable. how was it?

>>34448149
why do you bully the karen poster?
I know its you who does it.

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>>34446966
Slept about 8 hours but I'm still tired.
This dumb narrative I've been sharing will end in a really lame way unless I get pills, accidentally take too much, and trip balls. I don't even know why I'm sharing this, I guess my life is just that bland

>>34448090
Probably a Monster tbqh, or big sausage roll

>>34448330
It wasn't that weird, I went to her house talked for a bit and started hugging and kissing. I fucked her, fingered her, ate her out etc, she sucked me off until I came then we washed up put our clothes back on, talked some more then I gave her 60 quid and left. it was definitely worth it.

I dreamt I was cyring whilst listening to the radio and took loads of pills and killed myself. Anyone else only cry in their dreams?

>>34448366
I'm glad to hear you're getting some sleep at last lad. You had me worried for a while there.

>>34448380
might start getting the odd escort when i can drive and have my own apartment. does sound decent.

barr drinks are amazing, bubblegum and cherryade are my favourite

and its low sugar, flawless

>tfw ordered 250 quid worth of shit while drunk
>too late to cancel the order

>>34447782
>>34447882
Volunteering is good, I did it in China and worked at a sort of school/hotel thing.

It was mainly for Chinese people but you get the odd foreigner staying there too. They would teach the local kids English since most of them couldn't afford a tutor.

Most fun I've had, I was super nervous about it at first since I'm kind of a social retard but you get plenty of people who are exactly the same, just looking for a break from all the shit and a chance to do something different.

If you have the money or you're preparing to save I highly recommend it. I did it through a site called WorkAway, it's free to browse and see what there is but you have to pay for a membership if you want to contact the hosts, it's only like 20 quid a year if I remember correctly.

im friends with a feminist girl (she is fat and ugly so just friends) who claims to be sickened by the way guys talk about women but im pretty sure women often talk about guys in a sexual manner too?

>>34448527
>but im pretty sure women often talk about guys in a sexual manner too?

They tell each other every detail of their sexual encounters from how big his dick was to if he snored. Your friend is only butthurt about guys doing it because none of them do it to her.

>>34448527
they definitely do. the whole sexist thing is bullshit. humans are sexual animals. men and women are both sexualised. they always have and they always will and I see no problem with that.

>>34448527

I don't spend my time thinking about why fat, ugly feminists get offended Tbh

https://youtu.be/0yMmiJHOLuI

>>34448593
>>34448597
thanks fellas. yeah, ive seen girls touch a guys crough plenty of time with out his consent. both sexes do it. ive had girls do it to me too. think she is just being spiteful because guys often call her fat. she is pretty much a neet so her whole view on reality comes from feminist propaganda.

>>34448527
>she is fat and ugly

Well that explains it, she needs someone to blame for not being able to stop ramming cake into her gabber.

>>34448527
You should stop caring about what women think, they base every decision in their life on emotion.

>>34448659
>she is pretty much a neet so her whole view on reality comes from feminist propaganda.

Ah, the female equivalent of a /pol/ poster.

Fifth toffee crisp and its only 2.15. This is the day I end my life. Got biscuit time full of them and no one can stop me. Goodbye lads. Wish me a crispy death

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Just saw a magpie potter into a neighbors open bathroom window and fly out again with a tooth brush.

Are magpies the most /devilish/ animals of them all?

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>>34446966
yaay friday
only 3 and a half hrs till i'm done
>>34448108
we're here lad don't worry

>>34448512
Anything good in the mix?

>>34448714
are they, dare i say it, /ourbirds/?

So lads, I wrote a little list of things to do every day to stave of the feels

Go for a walk
Listen to music
Practice guitar
Read a book
Play video games
Write a book
Watch a movie

Does anyone else list/feel/ here?

>>34448108
At the waifu orgy

>>34448784
Here's mine:
>Go the gym
>Eat toffee crisps
>Think about watching films, pick a film then pause it so I can shitpost, eventually get bored and turn the film off
>cry
>sleep

>>34448784
Yeah I have a list of things to do every day that I never get through.

Unsurprisingly, "post on 4Chan" is never on there but I always manage to do that.

>>34448862
>4Chan
normies pls go

>>34448885
Sorry I meant to say "post on a Guatemalan millinery forum"

>>34448885
Oh sorry lad
*The chon

>>34448791
w-what i thought that was next week. i thought all us waifu lads had booked it off and was meeting up for a mass bumming session. v dissapointed lads

>>34448783
I would say so, they do steal all kinds of things from normies like Stacey's brand new iPhone and Chads new car keys.

I want to live in the US so bad. I cant take this fucking country. Any chance of Trump changing that convoluted immigration system? Anyone got any advice or stories on how to immigrate to America (not marrying anyone). I have a computer science degree, I was thinking about trying to get a job in a UK branch of an American based company and hope that I can work my way up the ranks so I can get transferred to a US branch.

>>34448988
You current plan is probably your best bet unless you get married to a yank.

Trump has said some stuff about maybe making it easier for Europeans to immigrate. I think he basically means white people lol, so if you're white you're probably more in luck

>>34448988
Any reason why the US. If i was going to move it wouldn't be to there personally

>>34448681
>>34448709
its annoying lads. i said to her that women do it too and she just sent me the thumbs up emoji. ive had arguments with her in the past and she just ignores me.

>>34448848
Is a lion bar or boost superior to a toffee crisp and what is your opinion on the discontinued Fuse bar?

>>34448380
>I ate out a prostitute

What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>34448988
probably more crazy liberals in the us you know lad. most people here in england either dont give a fuck or keep our opinions to ourselves. there are some lous bastards in america.

>>34448783
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3vuWcakvvg

Dolphins are /ourmammals/

>>34449112
nothings wrong with me. she was freshly showered and clean. why wouldn't I?

>>34449091
why the fuck are you interacting with this waste of skin

>>34448988
I have an H1B Visa.

Basically I did what you are thinking. Got a job in a branch of an American company (it was actually in Europe rather in the UK), then got offered the visa. I'd only been working there for about six months when they offered it to me, but I'd been working hard - and, crucially, working alongside the actual owner of the company (it was a small company)

If you want to get an L1 company transfer visa it's a lot easier, there's no lottery and the criteria is lower, but it's not as good a visa (you can't permanently emigrate on it, for example, or change jobs). You also need to be working with that company for a year at least.

I went to New York and lived there for 8 months. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be but it was a great experience - too expensive to live well though.

I still have time on my visa so I might go back when I can earn more money.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

>>34449077
Such a diverse landscape, diverse weather, excellent nature, you don't have to shill out a million pounds for a shoebox sized house, freedom (guns), you don't go to jail for saying something mean on Twitter, space, it seems like I would never run out of things to visit. So many cities, national parks, theme parks, there'll always be something to see. In America to have a vacation you can just take a 5 - 24 hour car journey to end up in a desert, swamp, snowy mountain, dense woodland, farmland.

>>34449119
The pros outweigh the liberals desu.

>>34449128
dolphins are total normies, they love humans and all the attention

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>>34449097
Holy fuck not had a boost in years. However, I believe lion bars are far superior imo

>>34449144
Not him but thats pretty risky dude, she could have been diseased to shit

I can't really talk though, I'm into rimming so all bets are pretty much off

I've never gotten sick from it though so win win I suppose

>>34449097
Yes, a lion bar is superior. Not a fan of boosts, and don't even bring up double deckers. Chocolate bar tiers are as follows:

Lion Bar
Twix
Whisper
POWER GAP
Twirl
Kinder Bueno
Toffee Crisp
Kit Kat
POWER GAP
Dairy Milk (new)
Double Decker

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>>34449167
boosts are fucking nice

never had a lion, what's in it?

>>34449163
No health care
Might get murdered whilst buying gas

>>34449144
>showering can wash away the herps

>>34449159
You say you were offered the visa. So you didn't request it yourself? Did the owner know that you were fond of America or did he just randomly offer it to you one day without knowing you were interested?

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>>34449184

>Double Decker bottom

>>34449184
What happend to dairy milks?

I haven't had a chocolate bar for years. New recipe?

>>34448512
I had to give my mum my debit card for exactly this reason. Would get drunk and order loads of shit online.

Like terrible t-shirts that i thought were funny at the time, vidya, dvds, random electronics and just general shit.

Kept doing it for like a year so whenever i'm going out I take cash out beforehand and give her the card to keep till the next day.

I'm usually good with self-control apart from that.

>>34449190
I thought health care is provided if you're employed. Either way if I suddenly have a serious medical issue I could come back to the UK and have the NHS sort it out. In fact it's hilarious you're trying to use health care as a counter point when the NHS is absolute fucking garbage. Third world country health care, if you want good health care you have to pay for it. That's the fact of the matter.

And the risk of getting shot is definitely worth the pleasure. As long as you stay away from the ghetto you should be fine.

>>34449184
What about wispa gold.

I always feel the addition of caramel improves any chocolate bar.

Or in the case of galaxy the infusion of caramel makes it better.


I actually sit in the bath and eat that.


(Male. Nohomo)

>>34449193
she didn't have herpes. even if she did its easily curable anyway

>>34449194
I was on a business trip there and we went to a bar and he asked me if I was interested. To be honest he kind of assumed I'd be interested and he was right.

He was obviously based there (that's HQ) and wanted us to keep working closely together

I still work for him, but remotely from home now living in Germany.

>>34449223
>>34449223
www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/features/the-many-ways-cadbury-is-losing-its-magic/
The Americans ruined it

>>34449243
oh so she had the clap then

>>34449235
>I thought health care is provided if you're employed.

Nah I was paying nearly $300 for healthcare and that was with an employer plan. And if I needed anything I'd need to pay the first $5000 or so myself.

Their system really is shit.

>>34449242
Taz's were always worse than freddos though, but in a lot of cases yea you can't go wrong with caramel

>>34449144
Oh well if she was freshly showered that makes it much better, silly me

>>34449159
Story time isn't until 8pm mate.

>>34449272
>>34449290
just because she's a prossie doesn't mean she has stds. she was completely clean.

>>34449184
>doesn't even mention Snickers or Aero

shit list mate

>>34449184
What a faggot.

The actual list:
>Kinder Bueno
>Lion bar
>Boost
>Star Bar
>Bounty
>Snickers
POWER GAP
>Twirl
>Kit Kat Chunky
>Double Decker
ACCEPTABLE TIER
>Dairy Milk
>Whisper
>Toffee Crisp
SHIT TIER
>Aero
>Picnic
>Twix
>Mars bar

>>34449184
What, Yorkie's aren't popular any more? Back in my day the Yorkie was the real man's chocolate bar, a real thick cock of a bar that was.

>>34449329
*Wispa

>>34449329
>twix in shit

I didnt know they allowed plebs to use the Internet.

>>34449282
That sounds pretty bad but isn't Trump going to change it for the better?

>>34449259
So how come you didn't stay? Did the owner not need you based in America any more or did you decide to leave on your own terms?

>>34448988
>I want to move from a bad country to an even worse one

Let me guess, you watch too much US media and think everyone is rich, happy and beautiful there

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just spend 10 quid on lottery tickets

haha that was probably a waste of money

oh well

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>>34448512
Worse when you preorder a bunch of anime shit on amiami since they don't ask for payment until it's ready to ship.

Ordered like 10 things and just forgot about the for months until you get that dreadful email "requesting payment"

I have no choice but to pay for them since I don't want them to blacklist me. I need to be more careful and pay attention to release dates.

>>34449352
I have no delusions friendo. My main interests reside in the nature and how much cheaper everything is. The UK housing market is a fucking joke.

>>34449329
Agree with everything here except picnic in shit tier. Picnics are fucking dank m8

>>34449353
On a 14 million jackpot? Why even bother?

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>>34449353
>constantly dream about winning the lottery
>never buy a ticket

>>34449319
It's more the thought of 1000 dicks that had passed through beforehand and btw herpes isn't always visible you have no way of telling, she could have it and not even display symptoms also the fact it was only 60 quid is kinda worrying, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure good escorts charge a lot more than that

I bet you kissed her too didn't you lol

>>34449400
I don't know

that's still a lot of money regardless

>>34449329
What's your opinion on rocky bars? I think there's a lot to be said for the chocolate bar/biscuit bars. Breakaways and viscount biscuits are also quality

>>34449422
yeah I kissed her, what's wrong with that? like I said she showered so all the traces of past dick were gone.

>>34449445
Sorry m8 I don't eat poor people shit.

>>34449329
What the fuck is a "Star Bar"? Never heard of it.

Also what are people's opinions on Reese's chocolate? They're starting to become mainstream enough that they aren't in overpriced "American" sections any more, and I fucking love the cups and Nutrageous bars

I need a diet. can't see my willy anymore when I'm stood up

>>34449243
herpes has no cure my dude

>when you're only alfalfa when you're alone

The world will never know my greatness.

>>34449484
Gtfo of here. Rockys are top tier

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hello, lads. i have just got home from work. im sitting back with a cuppa in my hand, play station on, and a kit kat in my back pocket. good day so far. hope everyone is having a good day.

thinking about picking up a chippy later and watching the rest of breaking band. might give my a girl a pipe too.

>>34449496
It's essentially a Boost

>>34449539
Original red wrapper rockies, yes. Others are poverty-tier. Theyr'e just a step up from Blue Ribands desu

>>34449235
Wrong NHS is great. Obviously you haven't used it a great deal. Lucky you.

Enjoy your massive insurance payments and medical bills you child who knows nothing about the world.

>>34449547
you look too ugly to be a normie so im inclined to call this bait

>>34449445
Rocky is queen Victoria tier. At least the caramel one is.

The red one not so much.

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>>34449547
>>34449586
>best guess technology

Robot confirmed

>>34449547
Don't listen to this >>34449586 lad. You've got a sexy bob the builder aesthetic going on

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>>34449586
never said i was a normie, lad. no need to call me ugly. also, plenty of normies are ugly, or average looking. didnt think i was below average.

>>34449581
>child
I'm not the one accepting the shit this nation feeds him.

>>34449547
Your kit kat is going to melt you silly man

>>34449632
nope you're definitely well below average tbqh lad

>>34449632
>talks about his girl
>has a job
>looks happy
>isnt a normie or wannabe normie

get the fuck out

>>34449184
>Lion Bar
shit
>tiwx
too boring and dry
>whisper
wispa, bellend
>twirl
air
>Kinder
are you 6?
>toffee crisp
reasonable place on the list
>Kit Kat
chunky should be right at the top, normal in the centre
>dairy milk and double decker last
kys man

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_l4Ab5FRwM

What kind of music do you like lads?

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>>34449547
Bite a tiny bit of kit kat off both ends. Use as straw to drink your tea. It loses structural integrity fast but it leaves you with a tea infused kit kat that's so moist and delicious oh man it really warms my Bakerloo Line oh yes my lad.

>>34449661
if he's below average then I'm definitely ugly.

>>34449632
You're not ugly lad, don't listen to this prick. Very much normal looking. And this is coming from a normie, with gf, who is told he's handsome by other people than his mother. You're doing fine.

>>34449633
Spoken like an angsty child

One day you will have real responsibilities and won't be so jaded about living in Phil collins' proverbial paradise. You need to have have a job and hit 25 first.

UK isn't shit mate.

>>34449661
oh well. im happy.

>>34449676
hey, anyone can get a job. i work at a day care centre, i like to help people with learning difficulties because i know what it is like to struggle with them. no need to get so hostile. you sound very bitter.

>>34449715
I already have degree and a job you fucking moron. The UK is a cesspool and you're a beta male for accepting it.

>>34449699
thank you lad, i just wanted to chill and talk with some people on here. it can be a very comfy place here sometimes.

>>34449687
Kit kat chunky is shit and you're having a laugh if you think dairy milk still holds up. Its only selling out of respect for its legacy

>>34449740
Only people who are beta males call others beta males.

oh shi-

>need help with some theory for a project
>make a post on a forum asking for help
>its a circlejerk of "top contributers" telling you that google is your friend and to spend hours trawling through the archives with the shitty forum search
>never get a clear answer
>motivation slowly vanishes and I give up

The internet is meant for sharing knowledge but instead we've got the same everyday old brown nosing going on.

>>34449723
Carers and the caring profession in general is one of the most underpaid and underrated professions and has too much undeserved stigma attached.

>Oh you're a bum wiper

No I provide a chance for disabled and elderly to live independently for as long acts possible and maintain their freedom and dignity.

Because that's what old achsge does. Slowly robs your dignity.

t. Guy whose sister in law works with epilepsy trust as a carer because her sister died as a child from various conditions.

>>34449798
so your sister studies law about wiping arses and you praise people who wipe arses

>>34449740
If you think this is a cesspool you are indeed a child and have no experience.

Most millenials have a degree so what.

Good luck in your job that you clearly hate.

what was our kay doing in that london?

>>34449820
My wife's sister dude. As I'm sure you know

But lol for the canny joke

>>34449765

>you're having a laugh if you think dairy milk still holds up. Its only selling out of respect for its legacy

What are we doing with our lives lads

>>34449858
Choccy bar talk is incredibly important

Need a hair cut, starting to look a spastic Hitler impersonator.

The biggest travesty is what happened to Creme Eggs. Also I heard they do Oreo ones now but have yet to find any

>>34449930
I just went through the same thing. Hair was all floppy and shitty and I generally wore a hat to hide it.

Just had it shaved down to a 2 and I love it. No hassle at all now. So much easier

>>34449930
Cut it short till you decide what to do with it.

It's winter anyway so you can wear a hat. I do. It hides my receding hairlines. They aren't good receding either like G Man. It's bad receding like prince Andrew or prince harry

Sigh

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>>34449307
Here you go lad - a bit of documentary evidence.

You guys got any interesting ways to have a wank? Im out of ideas

>>34450102
Put a finger up your bum

told my mummy i wanted burgers and curly fries for tea and she only went out and got some, the absolute legend!

>>34449348
>Trump
>Change healthcare for the better

Highly doubt it.

>Did you decide to leave?

Yeah. Too expensive. My boss was happy to let me work from a very cheap and very nice part of Europe on the same salary, so seemed like a good idea.

Like I said, might be back when I can earn more money. Needs to be $120k+ to be doing well in NYC.

>>34450102
Pull ur 4skin back and cover dick in lube and only massage top 2 inch while squeezing balls with lube.

Thanks me later after you've washes ur hands

>>34450102
Do the "twisted firestarter"

You grab your dick between your two palms and rub it back and forth like you're a boyscout with a stick trying to light a fire.

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>>34446949
You should ask her if you can see those fabled boobs.
>tfw stuck in ED

>>34449167
Chocolate, caramel and peanuts

>>34450115
Done that one

>>34450137
For some unknown reason I'm circumsized. Will it still work?

>>34450150
Might give it a go. Does it not burn?

>>34450150
That is now the only way I wank. But always use lube.

>>34450129
i think all fries should be curly fries desu. it's like bronze age vs stone age. we have learnt to curl fries, therefore we should leave the old ways behind.

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>>34446966
Posting lad.

The Witcher III is simultaneously the most and least comfy game I've ever played.

Comfily hunting monsters and wandering around villages? Check.

Ghost fetuses and horrific abominations? Also check.

Don't know how I should feel about this lads.

>>34450191
>Does it not burn

You need to use lube. Not vaseline, proper water based slick lube.

>>34450199
>All fries should be curly fries

I quite like curly fries with the seasoned coating, but they are too soft.

>>34450191
No u need the skin to have a sensitive benis.

Sorry my man

>>34447659
When I have the money it goes something like this
>tube of sour cream and onion pringles
>2 for 1 tescos instant oats
>honey roasted cashews
>bowl of trifle
>white chocolate
>honey beef jerky
>1 or 2 litre bottles of mountain dew

All down in one sitting. And I'm still a skinny fuck

>>34449381
Any figmas?

>>34450102
Get in the shower and place the nozzle directly under your butthole. It's very nice while fapping.

or

Dip a sock in really warm water and wring it out, then put your dick inside and fap.

>>34450214
Personally I preferred the witcher 2. The linear style of it is a lot more comfy than 3. Although I'll give 3 its due, its the best open world game there's ever been.

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>>34450232
Yeah I preordered Yotsugi figma along with her GSC scale

>>34450222
When I'm feeling gluttonous (like when I'm high as fuck) I'm really more of a take away man

Probably the most I've ever eaten in one night is:

>Chicken jalfrezi
>Large naan bread
>Rice
>Onion baiji
>Poppadoms
>Bag of haribo
>Eight cans of beer
>Large bag of salt and balsamic vinegar kettle chips before bed when the munchies come back

No idea how many calories that is but I'd say it must be at least 3000 if not 4000.

>>34450250
I played the Witcher 2 briefly. Just got to the bit with the squid monster thing and then gave up.

I like the open world aspect of the Witcher 3, I think it adds to the comfy factor. I like the idea of going around a forest looking for supplies to make oils and stuff to fight the latest big bad, but more often than not it turns into:

Get high on Thunderbolt
Dodge roll around the enemy
Stab them
Repeat

>>34450219
Thats a bit shit. Maybe next time

>>34450241
Done the shower one but might try the sock at some point. Will have to pick a day when noone is around for that I think though

>>34450285
Nice lad. I need to unbox a couple of mine and get them on display.

Who do you think is the ugliest in this thread? I really think I must be in the bottom 5% in terms of looks, if not the ugliest overall. I really am fucking hideous lads. Obese with a fucking massive nose, weak chin and big dark bags under my eyes.

>>34450390
tbqh rip lad

>>34450336
>>34450285
dont you fellas feel like its a waste of money to buy figures? i sometimes but them myself but i get bored of them after 5 minutes.

>>34450390
I used to be ugly but then I grew a beard and it balanced my face out nicely

>>34450390
In a thread like this, your attractiveness is inversely proportional to how attractive you think you are.

For example, I think I'm pretty damn fit, but chances are *I'm* and ugly munter.

>>34450433
I wish I could grow a beard. I'm 19 but the most I can grow is a pencil moustache and chin fuzz

>>34450287
>Indian
Pretty grim lad. Good if you want to suffer a stinging shit soon after.

I might follow suit when I start work again. Fucking Chinese prawn takeaway every other night it'll be

>>34450433
I have a beard too and people say it's an improvement, might have brought me from a 1/10 to 1.5/10.

>>34450426
Not really although I will admit that I have several figures I bought out of impulse and don't want them anymore, might give them away since they're a pain to sell.

>>34450287
That's easily 6000kcal there

Sort it out

>>34450453
I have a huge tolerance for spicy food and I eat it almost every day so it takes a lot more than a standard curry to give me a ring stinger.

>>34450426
Are they a waste of money? Sure, but I spend money on alcohol, junk food and such and they seem more of a waste to me.

I've just begun to cut down drastically on what I'm ordering, be it waiting for the reviews to put me off or just self control. The ones I like a lot I don't regret, the random of the moment purchases are the ones I feel like I wasted money over.

>>34450463
>Not really

fair enough. might just be me then. ive bought a feww of them sh figurarts and they do look amazing, would consider getting more but they are so expensive.

>>34450480
>Sort it out

It's my record mate. I'm not having it every night or even twice in my whole life.

>>34450169
Good post mate

>tfw stuck in Manchester

>>34450614
>Manchester
I am so sorry for you. I hope you manage to get out of there soon.

I remember when I was younger I'd try and stay up as long as possible. Would only ever get about 4 hours sleep each night before school. Now my days consist of eagerly awaiting sleep. Some days I treat myself and go to bed extra early. Not sure if there's anything better lads. I once heard that sleep is like death with benefits. Truest true there was

>>34450614
I would love to be living in Manchester. I would be if my parents didn't take white flight to the South West. FUCKING CUNTS

>you will never be the canal serial killer
>you will never go to the old station in Deansgate and pretend you're picking up Edward Evans
>you will never explore all the museums and walk around the city streets

>>34450631
What's wrong with Manchester?

>>34450743
Britfeels 2 most famous trips live there

>>34450631
Im trying anon...Im trying.

>>34450683
>tfw want nothing more than to be in the southwest and have comfy cornish pasties and chill on the beaches....

>>34450765
I wouldn't call Rochdale a part of Manchester

who's the other?

>>34450785
>who's the other?
Newfag gtfo

>>34450803
rude

I've been here for a while, just not very often
you can't expect me to know every single tripcode user

>>34450508
>spend money on alcohol, junk food and such and they seem more of a waste to me.

depends. a shitty night out does feel like a waste of money but i think its worth spending money on alcohol if its a good night. its only like 20 pound for a decent bottle of rum or whiskey and that will do me for a night. junk food its pretty cheap compared to figures, i think. i see some figures i like going for about 100 pound

suddenly feel dizzy and my cheeks are flushed, whats happening to me lads?

>>34450837
No but this was a big one, for a huge amount of time

>>34450862
menopause lad

>>34449822
It's not the job I hate, it's this nation. A nation that jails people for saying mean things on Twitter is not a nation worth my time. Obviously you wouldn't care about things beyond going to your local pub for a drink every weekend because that's all you aspire your life to be.

Just filed down a tooth that has been bothering me my entire life, I should've done this years ago. I'm finally free.

>>34450954

Enjoy your dentist trip

>>34450964
Nah it's fine, it only goes wrong if you file too deep. The majority of dentists actually offer a tooth filing service, but it costs way too much fucking money and they do the same shit.

>>34450935
you realise the somebody was arrested at the airport in american for tweeting they were going there to 'dig up the grave of marylin monroe'?

>>34450935
Take it from someone who has lived in four different countries

Your life won't be that different in another country after the first month or two of getting to grips with little differences. Wherever you are, that's where you'll be.

Anyone mentioned the fact Karen poster is a cunt yet?

>>34451051

He's not going to accept that he might be wrong.

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>>34450772
I don't think you realise how quickly you will get bored of Cornwall than I or even you will of Manchester

>>34451073
stop stirring up shit, karenposter

>>34451090
Try again I'm British so I can't be him

>>34450935
Way to supremely over exaggerate lad. Don't believe what you read on 4chan and red tops.

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>>34446966
got too much stuff to sort out today, so i went to sleep instead....

empty flat seems so small as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyrJDKj0kSI

Karenposter is a good lad baka

>>34451112
sounds like something a non brit would say

>>34451077
To be fair he's right that the quality of life in the UK is shit compared to a lot of other places.

But eventually your level of happiness settles down to around where it was before.

>>34451112
prove it. walkers or Cheetos?

>>34451085
as cities go in this country I reckon manchester's the least shit

london's godawful
birmingham is nasty
liverpool's okayish
leeds just feels wrong, the roads are too wide or something
manchester's not brilliant but as cities go it's alright I suppose

>>34451134
He'll say "lays"

Or "tayto" if he's a fenian

>>34451174
West Country is best Country followed by surrey hills

Love me some Devon villages

>>34451134
Cheetos? I think you mean wotsits

>>34451174
I just like places with amenities. So Devon and Cornwall are out of the fucking question. Burn them to the ground.

Anywhere else that has decent sized museums, libraries and a sense of fast paced excitement and danger... They are top

>>34451085
GET AWAY FROM PICADILLY GARDENS YOU'LL GET RAPED BY A PAKI

Tbf though I just want a comfy life.... city life is too fucking hectic.

>>34451134
>>34451200
I always thought cheetos were like wotsits, but they aren't.

They are like nik-naks.