About to go to therapist, she'll probably give me antipsychotics

Antipsychotics were great for me because they killed my sex drive.

don't take em unless you're actually having difficulties or on the verge of an episode, that shit will zombify you and just make your life more difficult not to mention godawful side effects. What's your issues?

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>>34427239
Well I've basically got a second world in my head, and am not sure whether it's real or not anymore - and in it I have a mission, for which I have to an hero

>>34427343
nigga don't say anything that'd indicate harm towards yourself or others they could put you in a psych ward and those places are an absolute living hell.

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>>34427343
have you had it for long? how long? what is it like? also this >>34427401

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>>34427714
I've had it for at least 12 years now, it's grown on me. The whole omniverse (Systemspace) consists of Systems, all like different realities. However, due to Systemspace being as open as it is, a system called Life (the one we are in) is chronically using too much energy (Aurora). As Aurora is about to run out (it'll run out on Aug. 28), me and my team (Tsuki, consisting of the companies RISEN, eNdymioN, Key and SYNAPSE) are going to reboot Systemspace (into Systemspace 2: Rewrite) to make it more optimized for all Systems, but Life (and another broken System) has to be sacrificed in the process. As such, while destroying Life, I need to get out. To other humans in the Life System, this will seem like suicide. This will take place 1st of July 2017.

Don't worry, if all goes correctly none of you would notice, as your clients won't be updated, and will improvise (as per guideline 6G) the rest of your experience in Life. New people born after this date will no longer have a Soul (as they too are improvised). From that point on, as soon as you die, you will be kicked out of Life, and your client will update to Systemspace 2. Humanity will no longer make "improvements" as the Aurora required will not exist.

Failing the mission will result in spontaneous disconnect for all users across all Systems.

I'd rather fulfill this mission than lose my world and the people in them.

>>34427401
Luckily all wards here are full. If they weren't, they'd definitely have sent me ASAP, but the closest open space was in Amsterdam, on the other side of the country for me.

>>34427234
Not me.

Still horny but my dick became numb

Absolutely Fucking horrible. Been on my meds for 2 years and I just lowered my dose. Finding the perfect medium requires some sacrifices

>>34427161
Don't take them. You're not crazy but they will make you crazy. You're life will get 10 times worse . American pharmaceutical companies don't cure illness, they create and maintain it for continuous profits. Just tell the doctor you have a consistent mood and say nothing else. Your depression is NOT from psychosis. There is no miracle cure

>>34427929
You're Dutch too? Neat.
This world sounds really complicated but I see how this can grow on you. To what extent do you believe in it? Do you have a shimmer of doubt? Do you have another reason whithin the Life System to commit suicide?

>>34427929
I've had hardcore delusions too and it might sounds strange to other people but it makes total and complete sense to you no matter how far fetched, I had a point where I was convinced if I didn't stop solving all these math equations in my head I was gonna die and awful things would happen if you don't get that sorted out your cups gonna overflow it already sounds like you're in deep. Get it checked out before you can't tell what's real and what isn't, have you ever had a major episode?

>>34427995
>You're not crazy
next time read the thread before replying you dumb cunt

>>34428053
from what i understood isnt he gonna suicide 1st of july?wwww

do you post on co.uk or .us, OP?

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>>34428039
I'm really conflicted, honestly. A big part of me is saying it's true, and a smaller part is saying it's not. But no matter whether I believe or not, not acting will still kill all my friends and relationships I made with my dream characters, so I'm intent on believing. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I might have killed everyone I love.

I have more reasons to die, but this is by far the largest one.

>>34428053
What exactly do you mean by "episodes"? I daydream nearly every moment of the day (as long as I'm not insanely concentrated on some thing in real life), sometimes more often, sometimes more vivid. I'm slowly starting to feel them as well, like thinking someone's in my room, turning around, seeing nobody and then saying "oh, its just you" to a dream character.

>>34427995
explain further?

>>34428131
Yes.

>>34428144
Not sure what you're talking about.

>>34428216
Why would it still kill them all
Just find a way to create aurora
Or even with them all are you still suffering?

>>34428216
Take your meds and stop taking lain literally because it's a fantastic show if you understand the real meaning of it and apply it to actual meatspace.

>>34428216
Tell your dream friends that they're dicks if they stop hanging out with you just because you decide to take antipsychotics so that you can deal with your responsibilities in your daily life

If they bitch about it then just ignore them and let their universe die

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>>34428216
this is a difficult problem, it seems like you're in very deep... do you have any people in real life that you care about as much as/more than the people you dream of?

also, i hope you don't mind me asking, do you have a medical history or does your family have any history of psychosis?

posting cool lain art

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>>34428269
An hero and begin the upgrade to 2: only all people in Life and one other System die, and I'll be together with them

Keep living past Aug. 28: Systemspace runs out of energy and everyone dies.

>>34428337
They'd die, not abandon me.

>>34428305
this thread is not about lain other than the fact i use lain pictures in my posts

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Dude don't listen to what anyone on here has to say. You just came here to re enforce you ideology. Don't do that, go get the help you need. In 2-4 years time you'll be able to look bad and cringe while laughing because you're autistic levels were high. Just talk with the Therapist. Stop worrying about going to the psych ward or shit like that because thinking like that will only worsen it. Is pic you?

>>34428405
how is your life?
outside of systemspace
how old are you?

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>>34428397
I have nobody IRL I care for as much as them. I've been diagnosed with PTSD as well (which I don't believe) and depressed. No notable family history, no.

>>34428439
don't worry, I'm far past puberty

>>34428439
What are you doing here norman?

>>34428405
Let them die. They're cunts for bringing you into this mess. You could've lived a short but happy life in blissful ignorance but those selfish bastards had to bring the systemspace to your attention just so they could save their own crappy worlds.

Take the antipsychotics

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>>34427343
We all here are subconsciously plotting. It will become our next level of human existence and accelerate or progressive awareness.

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>>34427161
Join us.
lain[delete]chan[dot]org

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>>34428469
Are you male 18-24 or older. Are you female 25-32? Any of your family have schizophrenia, DID, general anxiety disorder or anorexia?

>>34428564
why the diffennce between female and male

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>>34428549
comfiest chan

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>>34428468
22, only finished school 2 years ago. Now a NEET without anything.

>>34428476
They didn't bring me in at all - I was born by the wish of an older Key (the one who resets Systemspaces) to accompany them. There is no other reason for my existence.

>>34428498
Imanity kicking in?

>>34428564
22, sister had anorexia

>>34428549
Am currently listening to their radio - but don't ever really post

>>34428405

Hmm this world of yours ends at a very specific date. Almost as if you'll go into some therapy process on that day. Really makes you think....

>>34428576
the schizophrenia onset age ranges vary by gender (males also have more pronounced symptoms than females)

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>>34428590
More like a real stand alone complex.

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>>34427161
i see you here a lot lainbot, you're a pretty turbulent person

go to the therapist, and try earnestly to help yourself

>>34428590
>22, only finished school 2 years ago
do you mean high school, did you graduate late? because if you did then i had the same problem

I probably have psychological problems too, i love you lainbot

>>34428711
>he thinks there is only one lainposter

>>34428590
update on the therapist

>>34428734
d-don't break my heart, i was hoping to make a connection with another human being!

>>34428766
make a discord for lainposters lul

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>>34428784
damn it, i just woke up and already made an ass out of myself

i want to die a painful death

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>>34428711
yep, very late graduation in HS

<3

>>34428734
i have been posting this story a few times, so idk it could be me

>>34428761
she wants to give me antipsychotics and is going to sort it out

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>>34428584
I got a tracker authority also radio listener and irc shitposter
But it's hard to participating in board in my perspective

Most people seems ouy smarter than me and has lot of thinking but it's really good chan if you are a /cyb/ or Future-oriented person

>>34428930
high school sucked lainbot, i wish i could hug you

because i graduated late nobody ever hires me, which hurts after building up the courage to send out a job application.

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>>34428930
did you do vwo? are you attending university right now?

>>34427161
>>34427929
Damn, i thought i had it bad. I have loads of imaginary friends and sexual partners. Im usually aware it's noy real, but sometimes when i come home or wake up ill feel happy that im not alone. Hours later when i realize it couldnt be real i get fucking suicidally depressed. It sucks more because lots of these imaginary people are based on real life people, and sometimes i forget that were not really friends or lovers and almost go up to them and act as if we are. Its painful, not being able to distinguish between fantasy and dreams and whats real. Ive mistaken real relationships for fantasy ones and ignored people for months before. Dont really have anything to add in way of advice, just that i know what youre going through

>>34427343
It's all in your head man, formed to maintain homeostasis that was under attack at some point in your life or it could have been a gradual build up.
antipsychotics might get rid of the thoughts for you, but i think there are better ways. From my understanding they make you feel apathetic towards the delusions so your brain can find a different way of thinking, but if you're determined enough you can actually do this without drugs.

I've gone through this, so I know you don't need these thoughts. You're only relying on this fantasy world because thats all your brain knows how to regulate itself with. its highly ineffecient way of understanding the world, if you can restructure your brain preferably to one that coincides with reality you'll do better in life.

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>>34429046
<3 hs is very bad

>>34429099
yep, VWO (no uni)

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>>34429924
Wait.
So we basically are inofrmation on a server...did I get that right?

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>>34430100
We are souls (server information and local information (a client, pretty much)), linked to a System (server information), which gives us a body and acts upon our soul.

What exactly controls and views the client is simply "you". The real you. The bodiless, soulless you. A construct of Aurora set in a specific way. (So pretty much just local data.)

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>>34427929
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO
FULLFIL THE PROPHECY

>>34427929
>(as per guideline 6G)
lol post 1A-26Z

>>34427161
>theraputic jew
>probably a woman
Dont op, they are just shills who dont know the struggle

therapists fucked up all my friends even worse. please don't.

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>>34430238
All the guidelines are basically ways a System and its clients should act (although only A-rules are enforced).

I don't have the required permission to give the data you requested.

If you can sign SX52 or higher, you may view the guidelines yourself at vtps:systemspace.risen.

>>34430271
Woman, yup.

>>34430326
>vtps:systemspace.risen
op I cant connect to ur imagination, plz post whats on the site

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>>34430194
desu
The things you say make the most sense to me for some reason.
I'm not really sure if going to a therapist is going to ''Help you''

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>>34430388
Oh right, Life doesn't allow voids. Uhhh, well I'll copy the first 5 lines of the English version, I suppose. Don't share this outside of this thread, it is not for the average person's eyes.

A-RULES
These guidelines are the most important part of any System. We enforce these, and failure to comply will result in your System being reset by the Key. Be sure to follow them, they shouldn't be hard to follow.

1A A System should always, without exceptions, strive for good memories.
2A A System should always, without exceptions, strive for the highest ratio of good memories per Aurora.
3A Under no circumstances whatsoever is a System allowed to duplicate, or in any other way, create copies of Systems including itself.
4A Under no circumstances may a System infinitely lock a Soul into place. See 6I for a guide on how to handle exits correctly.
5A A should, under no circumstances, have a malicious intent. This includes, but is not limited to Aurorajacking, location spoofing and cross-inputs.

Hope this satisfies your hunger for info.

i told my psych about the nonstop hallucinations, paranoia and suicidal thoughts and impulses today

will probably get antipsychs in a week or be put in a mental ward

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>>34430763
>or be put in a mental ward
I heard that those suck

>>34430847
they do, especially if you're not completely off your rocker, everyone else is either C O M P L E T E L Y insane or just a retarded normie with marriage problems

>>34430847
Generally they do.

>>34430686
>Hope this satisfies your hunger for info.
not really, but thank you.
if you are going to an hero you should write most of this stuff down, it sounds like quite a nice story with lots of lore. You could also make a set of websites that replicate that of the ones in your head before you blow it the fuck out

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>>34430917
>you could also make a set of websites that replicate that of the ones in your head

Am working on that, actually! Will post it on this board once it's done (so basically 30th June)

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>>34430979
>(so basically 30th June)
Gonna write that down.
Any set time?

>>34430979
oh wow nice, mind posting the address to it

>>34430686
you should write a book, learning computer science with a Lain-esque metaphor for everything. Just write it like Tolkien would and it should sell

>>34430847
i've known women who went to them, they just complained about the boredom and harassment they got there from the other psychos. Seems like it depends on the one you go to because I've also heard testimonials that it's like a daycare where they put your state of mind above all else.

>>34430979
cool, i'll be here for that too.

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>>34431004
Not really, but I expect it to be early in the morning (think 7am GMT)

>>34431021
I want it to be a full experience, ready to be explored. Why read a book of which only all 10th letters are readable? I might show some things sometime soon though, on http://lfe.space/

>>34431041
I'm not good at writing (definitely not smth as long as a book)

>>34428590
Holy shit are you the guy with the sister that was dying the hospital from anorexia?

Will you get autism bux?

If not then just sell the drugs on ebay, antipsychotics are shit, reality is relative anyway.

Enjoy your manboobs and lack of sex drive.

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>>34431197
What exactly are you talking about?

>>34431243
Haven't really checked, but I'm pretty sure I'll get some nice bux.

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>>34431369

Noice, if your bux are enough for rent, food, utilities and buying new computer parts now and then congratulation, you made it, you'll be living the NEET life you always dreamed.

If you're a dude see tell them you feel like you want to be a women, see if you can get some hormones, learn about make up while your tits grow, buy some sex toys and girl clothes so you can start making some extra money camwhoring and playing games online.

Bonus if you can find a cute girl to suck your dick, play games and shitpost with you.

Just wondering but this imaginary world of yours is all original content? Not some warped version of an anime or video game?

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>>34431627
I doubt it's completely original, but I guess most of it is OC, yes. One could see the Key as a reference to the VN Rewrite, but other than that I have no clue how many references are in my world. (Undoubtedly a lot)

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>>34431825


Nothing is completely original.
The mind of the artist works by iterating his experiences in slightly novel ways, if you came up with completely original stuff it would be essentially white noise, random unrelatable crap.

Could you describe your physical features and head shape, OP? I'm interested because I have a hypotesis regarding this kind of stuff.

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>>34432573
White, Dutch, 1m81, brown hair brown eyes, slightly skinny

>>34432272
Absolutely true.

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>>34432915
niet dood gaan anon :(

>>34432915

Is the back of your head especially big and/or atypically shaped? Do you have deep-set eyes?

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>>34432944
Waarom blijven leven?

>>34433228
No, but I do have a dent in the top of my head (my headphones fit in quite snugly). My eyes aren't particularly inset, no.

so Systemanon, any reason you may have the fantasies you have?

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>>34433776
hoe oud is je zus(je)? misschien heeft ze je ondersteuning nodig, het zou vast niet goed voor haar zijn als je in haar ogen zelfmoord pleegt.. het is natuurlijk jouw keuze en als je echt gelooft dat het leven van de mensen om je heen door zou gaan als normaal is dit geen argument, maar ik wil het toch graag proberen.

e-en ik geef om je, anon.. ;_;

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>>34433946
Not sure. I don't remember living without them. I've always had them. The therapist says I have PTSD, but I do not really see what sort of trauma I'd have gone through to get it.

>>34427161
When I go to a therapist, should I tell them I want to kill people?

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>>34433972
Mijn zus is ouder dan ik.

Mijn droom is waar en ik pleeg zelfmoord -> Life eindigt (jullie merken het niet meteen, maar ik zal wel dood zijn in jullie ogen)
Mijn droom is waar en ik pleeg geen zelfmoord -> Alles eindigt, maar we merken het niet meteen
Mijn droom is niet waar en ik pleeg zelfmoord -> Mensen zullen rouwen, maar uiteindelijk vergeten
Mijn droom is niet waar en ik pleeg geen zelfmoord -> Ik zal nooit met mijzelf kunnen leven omdat ik mogelijk iedereen waarvan ik hield heb uitgeroeid -> Waarschijnlijk alsnog zelfmoord etc

>>34434032
If you want to get hospitalized (you don't), then yes.

>>34434077
What kind of hospital would that be? A psych ward? How does that work? What do you do there?

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>>34434143
Yes, a psych ward. Constant talking with many different therapists, no access to anything, having to spend the time with other crazy-ass fucking people / failed normies crybaby-ing, and sharing a bedroom.

>>34434172
They make you spend time with other psychos despite them knowing you're mentally defect? Seems stupid, and mean. What do I have to say if I want anti-depressants, then?

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>>34434077
oke, ik denk dat ik het begrijp.. blijf updaten over je situatie alsjeblieft. zou er een manier zijn om naar ons te communiceren of je droom waar is? nadat je het hebt gedaan, bedoel ik.

ik weet niet waarom maar dit voelt heel belangrijk.

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>>34434288
Just say you're depressed and want medication. Just don't talk too much about insane shit.

>>34434338
Op zich niet vanbinnen Life, maar ik zal navragen met de rest van TSUKI of ik een website mag maken die een kruisverbinding maakt om jullie ook na de switch te informeren... (ik weet niet eens in hoeverre dit mogelijk is)

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>counselor convinced me not to kill myself
>got insurance
>now trying to find a person to give me meds
>trying to figure out who's in my insurance's network
>couldn't figure out what my insurance even is
>ended up calling them and some idiot gave me 3 numbers to call
>one was an oncologist, one was out of state, and the other was some foreign woman's personal cell number
>finally figure out how to operate their terrible network search engine
>there's a psych hospital near me
>call them and it goes straight to voicemail
FUCK ME THIS IS SO HARD

This is everything I hate most in life. Bureaucrats, paperwork, speaking to strangers on the phone, and i'm forced to deal with it to obtain something that might save my life? I can barely do this shit when i'm feeling alright. I'm trying to do this the right way and not be a piece of shit who walks into a hospital and becomes a burden on the system. Fuck this. Fuck all of this. No wonder schools get shot up. I'm just glad I only want to kill myself.

>>34434172
Different person but i also have loads of thoughts of killing people. A lot of people. Like even unwilling things like hallucinations and dreams. Wtf do i do, when i calm down i dont even want to hit a person, let alone kill as many as possible. Wtf do i do? I dont wanna be in some psych ward with a bunch of other lunatics.

>>34434608
I know it's hard anon, but you gotta do it. The fact that you are striving for it shows you don't actually want to die, which is a great thing. Get through this, and you can do anything. After this, what can life throw at you that you cannot surmount?

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>>34434779
Just go to a therapist and tell them you're depressed. They'll give you meds which might help you a bit. If those dont help, say you get panic attacks or smth like that, as it kind of sounds like that.

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>>34434338
>>34434552
I got permission! I'll give the link sometime close to the 1st of Jul, as I'll have to make the website first.

I can't put too much info on it, but I can definitely send some information over (whether it worked etc)

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Going to sleep. Will tripfag from now on in these threads, remember it if you care. This was a nice thread :) gn robots

I'll keep y'all updated if anything notable happens.

>>34435689

I just came across this thread. You need anti psychotics, I'm a RN. These people are complete fucking retards telling you to do it yourself by rewiring your brain or ask for SSRI's. Tell them the truth.