How do l buy toilet paper at the store without arousing suspicion?

What the hell? Just buy the damn toilet paper

Walk in with visible shit stains and poopy smell

Dude, go to the stores bathroom and snag a roll

It's all free

>>34418634
This. Havent paid for toilet paper in years. You can also use the soap and sink to was your face, armpits and butt so you dont have to buy shampoo and hygiene products.

>>34418697
>You can also use the soap and sink to was your face, armpits and butt so you d

that sounds awful

>>34418598
Suspicion of what? That you shit?

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>>34418598
I recommend you read the famous literature Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi, though it may be a little too advanced for your pallet

>>34418810

This is one of those books that really makes you think

>>34418715
Its not that bad. Also if the stores bathroom is in the back where all the palets of food and stuff is you can usually find stuff laying around to eat and drink without anyone seeing you.

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Hey, it's "/r9k/ can't complete a simple daily task" episode again! I love this one!

>>34418810
> geese poop
Huh

I just tell them it's for my roommate

>>34418598
Walk around like you own the store. Pick it up and walk straight out with it. If anyone asks, you own the store. Free TP.
Youre fucking welcome.

>>34418598
don't buy more than two packs

>>34418620
I think this is the best idea so far OP. Try this.

we all know you poop youre not fooling me.

>>34418950
Apple poop

Pro tip, buy paper towels, and just use that to wipe your ass

They'll never suspect anything, if they ask just say you need the paper towels for a gathering