So what's the closest you've come to ending it?

>>34403735
Sitting in my room with a razor crying my eyes out when I was 16. I nearly did it too, but my cat came up and nuzzled me and I realised I couldn't leave her and her cuteness.

Sat in the tub with the toaster plugged in

a couple of years ago in a car innawoods with a tube from the exhaust pipe through the window. I chickened out, obviously.

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Testing out what it feels like to choke as my suicidal thoughts were getting worse. Ended up masturbating while choking myself and almost passing out instead.

I also get extremely vivid thoughts of killing myself, most recently was walking out onto a road and throwing myself in front of a car. It gets scary, because it's like I go into a trance when it happens, it feels the same way a dream does and then when I'm about to do whatever is going to kill me, I violently snap back out of it.

Stepped out in front of a speeding car on a country road. I was too early and the guy veered off, nearly crashing into a tree. The car stopped and I assume he was gonna get out and freak his shit at me, but I sprinted off into the distance with the adrenaline and my heart pounding. I felt so bad for almost getting someone else killed.

I've already killed myself anon. But then again how can you kill that which has no Life?

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Leaning over my 8th floor balcony just a small push from falling over.

>>34403790
you're the worst kind of suicidal. kys

>>34403847
>you're the worst kind of suicidal. kys

That's the idea, Anon. I'll get around to it eventually. For now, I have my burning hatred for my surroundings to push me forward.

>>34403735

Shotgun to head, safety off and finger on the trigger. Was just testing it out though, but it made me tingly.

>>34403785
I get that too anon. I could be sitting around and out of nowhere just dissociate and get these fantasies of either jumping off a tall building or some other thing that would lead to my death. I don't know what's next in terms of my mental health because I already see things out the corner of my eyes and occasionally hear someone that isn't there, as well as have a mix of paranoia, anger, and depression. I just hope things don't get worse.

>>34403735
I used to do drugs not to get high but to try to OD. I used to take combos of xanax ambien alcohol klonopin gabapentin. I always ended up waking up. I'm convinced all the people that write how much it takes to OD are liars.

Had the belt in my hands, but when I tried the shitty doors in this dorm didn't make a tight enough seal to use it to hang myself with.
Kinda glad I didn't, I guess. Things get not better, but they get less shit.

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I was really hot and my air con didn't work in my shitty apartment, and I was really drunk, so I went and got in my car in my enclosed garage, and turned the A/C on so of course I had to turn the car on.

I had found a pink floyd tape under the passenger seat a few weeks before, it was dark side of the moon, and it started playing when I turned the car on.

I actually fell asleep/passed out with the car running, listening to this cassette. Luckily, "time" came on, which starts with a chorus of alarms/clock bells ringing, and it woke me up.

If I never woke up I would be dead. Thank you to the stoner or old rocker who owned my grandpa spec avalon before me and left floyd under the passenger seat.

>And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
>Racing around to come up behind you again
>The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
>Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

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>>34403952
>Kinda glad I didn't, I guess.
Glad to hear you aren't doing bad enough to want to die. Hope things actually stop do get better for you, anon.
Keep doing your best.

I'd never take my own life


:-)

>>34403735
Almost drank bleach and tried to cut my throat when I was 5. I've tried, but I honestly don't think it gets better.

Like most other people here the closest I've come is just being a whiny self-loathing bitch and saying I'm going to kill myself.

>>34403735
When I shoved a fire cracker up my anus.

Almost ordered Domino's pizza

>>34404186
I order the pizza and ate it. Close, but still didn't do the job.

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the fucking gun jammed

took 2 pills instead of 1! nearly died.

I pity the people who have nothing to live for. I'm a KHV but I don't care as long as I keep working toward my dream of owning my own record label

Shotgun in mouth, happens practically every week.

Had my 9mm in my mouth and it fucking jammed.

>>34404512
Tap and rack

Ate about 50mg of klonopin. Didn't do shit except make me pass out, piss myself, and sleep for almost a day.

Slit my carotid with a knife, ran out of the house to get that blood pumping, slipped on some ice, dad hot on my heels, sat on my stomach, pinned me down and staunched the bleeding long enough for the cops/ambulence to arrive and take me to psych after I got patched up.

Knew a guy had a huge gun collection down the street. got real drunk one night, broke into his house hoping he'd shoot me. Fucker wasn't home.

It's like i'm doomed to fail every time.

>>34404565
Why didn't you take one of the guns?

Bought a gun.

Turns out I love shooting, maintaining it. If I drop myself or others I'm just fucking my fellow shooters, but most of all, my gun.

Who'll clean it? Who'll oil it? It's my little gun. It never screwed me. I gotta be there for it.

Weird how life turns out sometimes.

>>34404588

Gun safe. I'd been in his house before because after I was done shoveling his driveway he invited me in for coffee and to bullshit, guess he was lonely because who does that? Anyway we got around to the topic of hunting and he showed me a pretty sweet collection of rifles and shotguns. Didn't manage to catch the combination at the time because I wasn't thinking about it at the time.

That night it was just like

>oh yeah that nigga down the street has an arsenal I hope he fucking shoots me oh fuck I have to break one of his windows he's such a nice guy too shit oh well time to do what I gotta do

>>34404598

THIS IS MY RIFE-U, THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.

WITHOUT IT, I AM NOTHING. WITHOUT ME, MY RIFE-U IS NOTHING.

>>34404631
And you didn't think he would have one within reach somewhere? If someone breaks in you don't have time to fuck around with a safe. You could at least have some determination if you want to go.

>>34403735

Never since I'm not a faggot like 99% of humans who whine about their problems rather than fight them.

>>34404709

We live in a backwoods suburb next to a school, nigga kept all his firearms in a safe plus their ammo. As I said I was very very drunk and didn't think any of it through, let alone to search around in his room. I wanted him to shoot an intruder, not rifle through his belongings like a nigger. As I said, not the best plan.

>>34403735
Jumped from school dorm, wasn't high enough only broke legs and both my arms. I fail at everything I do even trying to kill myself.

>>34404805
You didn't want to look through his stuff but were okay with scarring him for life by making him shoot someone he probably considers a friend?

>>34404894

Yeah pretty much. Drunken logic isn't the best logic anon. Just knew the guy had a fucking arsenal locked away and wanted him to use it on me. As you might be able to tell from my other attempts I'm not the best at planning this shit out and am usually very hammered when it happens, at least tripling my retardation levels, which you aren't seeming to grasp.

>>34403747

>my cat

should have done it. cat fags dont deserve to live

>>34405336
Get off my chan you retarded heretic.

>>34405413

get off society catlover son of a bitch

>>34405470
You first. What are you even doing here? This is literally the website that invented lolcats for fuck's sake. Piss off to /r/dogs and leave us alone.

>>34405491

I bet you're a dumb animu/mango poster too

>>34403735
When I was 14 I was bleeding out after cutting myself with broken glass. I lay there dying and my acquaintance called for help
They still think it was an accident

>>34403735
Toying with the idea mainly and thinking ways it would be quik. Havent really seriously or even semi-seriously though about it for a year or two. I have just kind of accepted that life is fairly shit. Nonetheless I still have things I enjoy and that is enough for me.

Pointed a loaded gun at the roof of my mouth. I had no intention of doing it though.

put knife at that major bloodvesel in your neck to see if I would do it.
didn't so stoped beeing a little bitch.
if you cant do it, dont think about it. life your life as a coward

>>34403735
Put a gun in my mouth once.

Slit my entire wrist in 9th grade but was rushed to the emergency cuz my dad came home like 10 minutes after.

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how do you even defeat depression and anxiety it stops me from going outside

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>>34407453
While antidepressants are memes made up by jews, antianxiety meds actually do help and treating your anxiety can in turn help you with depression. You could try getting a psychiatric help to get you on meds although I know that making the first appointment is the most difficult step. Maybe you could ask someone to set up the appointment for you, if you have such a close person.

put a hunting rifle to the roof of my mouth, safety off loaded with one bullet. if was a nice thought, just one trigger pull away from ending it.

didn't do it tho.