ITT: R9K in the year 1000 BC

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GREEKS FUCK OFF THIS IS MY CITY TAKE YOUR WOODEN HORSE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS

>Tfw no girls (male) return my parchments
>They only go after those chad philosophers

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>mfw Chief Chad sacrificed 20 perfectly good virgins on his new shrine
such is life in scythia

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>>34398438
How do we compete with prometheus? He hoards all the women and is favored by the pantheon.

>>34398602
>tfw only philosopher around vaguely at that time is thales and he's a real nut

>yo there be water

>11pm, Hungry
>Yell outside my dwelling for mom to bring me some olives
>She says no
>Throw piss vessel at her
>She takes away my good boy drachmas

How am I supposed to buy my goat meat strips now?

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>>34398438
Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to the acropolis tomorrow.

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>tfw parents died when I was 12 years old
>tfw no employment
>tfw only richies can make anything of themselves
>tfw eating sewer rat tendies, we call it a "Furry Freddy"

>>34398850
who else here /celt/?

>>34398438
Canute is a murderer
and needs to fucking die.

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What are we going to do about these Sea People rapefuges? Just the other day I saw a gaggle of them sailing across the Mediterranean, speaking in their Minoan babble. They even had a qt Tyrian prostitute with them, I mean what the fuck? We need another Ozymandias to put them back in their place.

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>>34398920
We need to burn those sea niggers with the death ray

>>34398920
BSC
Big Sea Cock

>go to oracle of delphi
>Stand in line for most of the day, thousands of anons there waiting
>Waited four months for this, the journey cost me most of my talents
>finally get to the oracle
>it's just some fucking roastie
>oh well, Apollo knows best who to speak through
>"O wise Apollo, how can I get a gf?"
>roastie oracle gives me the Costanzoupalous.vaseinscription face for a second
>goes back to looking serious
>looks up at the sun
>Here it comes, the wisdom of the gods, finally I'll be able to get a gf
>oracle starts shaking
>breathing heavily
>finally she looks at me dead in the eyes
>"Just be yourself bro"

REEEEEEE EMPEROR CHAD HAVING DEGENERATE ORGIES WHILE THE WHOLE SHANG DYNASTY GOES TO SHIT!

We need a new dynasty to make China great again.

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Why are Assyrian cuties so obsessed with greek cock? They're so much more feminine then the sluts in western culture. Don't get mad semitic masculinity bros

>>34398920
I know, they're all claiming to be teenage Phoecians, that's bullshit. Why aren't all these fighting age males defending their country from the Persians instead of coming and taking our resources?

>there are people attending this forum who are under 5'
Why do manlets even bother? 5'4 master race here

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real fembot feels...

>tfw everyone says girls have it easier
>the head of the household only fucks the other slave girls
>only helots want to be my bf

>>34399352
Fucking roastie, I bet you have plenty of hoi polloi orbiters

>>34399352
I'd be your bf. What's your village?

>>34399352
Based Pericles is going to make it illegal for Athenians to marry foreigners at the next meeting of the assembly.
Goodbye monobrow shaving kit!

>>34399222
Checked!

Praise original kek

Daily reminder if you're Hellenic you can't be a robot.

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Any robots thinking about moving to the Indus valley? I've been trying to learn Harappan to get a qt waifu but I hear they're not very accepting of foreigners.

>>34399641
I think you mean praise Zeus my friend

>>34399731
Fucking Haraboos, if you can't find a wife among your own ethnos you won't find a wife over there

Why have you not become a eunuch? Guys want you for your butt and will house you.