>tfw oneitis recently started messaging me again every once

So long as you're not orbiting and it's more of an actual friendship than her leeching off of you I don't think t matters.
I'm kind in the same situation except I never cut contact.

Because you've already lost.

>>34390514
I can not have an actual friendship with this woman, ever. She isn't leeching, never has, she's been fair and kind at all times. To me at least, which not many can say about themselves, she could act pretty maliciously towards people back in the day.
It's entirely possible that she was interested in me as more than just a friend at some point, but I'm an autist and we friendzoned each other.

If she were still interested in me, what'd be the right course of action, considering she's living with her boyfriend?

>>34390428
>she's living with her boyfriend
her boyfriend isn't giving her validation and attention and she seeks to get it from you

don't talk to her

>>34391042
My brain is telling me to block her number, but my heart is telling me to make her work for my validation and attention.

...and my penis is telling me I can beat her boyfriend in a fight

>>34391091
guess who she'll be texting for validation on valentine's when her bf forgets what day it is because he's out fucking other girls

and guess who'll get abandoned mid-conversation because she'll be too busy tasting other girls' vaginal fluid from her bf's mouth

you, nigga. you.

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>>34391122
I'm not an orbiter and I'm not being friendly in hopes of being rewarded with sex, if that's what you're trying to imply. I've never done that and I never will.

I don't know her boyfriend, she's never talked about him, but as far as I can tell from a distance he's no Chad at all and is more likely to be boring her with free affection, rather than forgetting about valentine's day. I, on the other hand, am the guy who resisted her charms and didn't treat her like a princess, unlike a lot of people in her life.

I don't know man, even if I'm delusional, I'm definitely not giving her free emotional support.

>>34391549
She's texting you because she needs something from you. It definitely isn't dick and it definitely isn't emotional coldness.

You're not telling us something. You're trying to play it off as "I'm indifferent" but if you were, you wouldn't be making a thread about her.

>>34390428
Are you talking about me? Just through another perspective?

>>34391723
Of course I'm not indifferent, I just have an intact dignity and don't act like a mouthbreathing neckbearded overweight beta orbiter.

>>34391896
Maybe, elaborate.

>>34391970
Elaborating would ruin my fun of its really you, sorry. I'll say this though, don't text while drunk.

>>34392004
>Elaborating would ruin my fun of its really you
It's obviously not me then, but I'd like to ask you to not toy with the heart of a man. We don't take it as lightly as women do and we can't get the support we need to get over it. The world already is a harsh world for sensitive men, don't make it worse for him.

>>34392004

This anon >>34392081 is right if you're leading anyone on (your bf or this beta) you better stop now or I'll call the cops

>known female for almost a decade
>messages me during/after breakups
>we always flirt and act nice
>she cares about me as a person but is using me to feel better about herself
>has no shortage of orbiters and people wanting to date her so she usually ends up stop talking to me when she sees someone else
>not fully aware of my feels
>always let her do it because i actually like her alot and subconciously think being nice will make her like me back

my mates tell me im just a pussy and never told her my real feelings but i cant help but feel kind of sad about it. am i just a pussy or what?

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Just straight up ask if she is having problems with her boyfriend or not? You have nothing to lose and can just block her if shit hits the fan

>>34392177
Cut contact and see if she comes back to you.

If she does, tell her your true feelings. If she rejects you then, tell her to fuck off and cut contact again.

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Just face the facts. She just wants to use you for a bit. You know that she probably has a lot of other dudes in her life right now that she is interested in. She's just checking in to make sure her victim is still a sad, pathetic, loser. She's a fucking whore. I fucking hate her. I fucking hate her. Why the fuck did she do this to me?

>>34392245
>Just straight up ask if she is having problems with her boyfriend
>You have nothing to lose
Actually I do, my dignity. If she brought up him or problems with him I'd stop replying. Why the fuck would I bring it up myself?

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>>34392391
You're getting straight to the point and bypassing all these kissing ass bullshit by calling out her intentions you dumb nigger. You arent hurting your dignity at all.

>>34390428
This picture is fucking ridiculous

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>>34392519
There's no kissing ass and I have no clue what her intentions are. I don't have actual Asperger's anon, so I'm not gonna act like I do.

>>34392583
Indeed it is.

>>34392257
DO NOT DO THIS

you either seduce women or you dont YOU HAVE TO BE IN THEIR PRESENCE especially if shes qt.. thats what she wants power over you women want to be desired whether they want to fuck you or not.

Either get together with her BUT DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL
>its a meme

Just stay in touch act indifferent get another gf make her jealous

AND DO NOT do that alpha male faggotry play the long game or if u think u can pull it be smooth dont be some theoretical neckbeard faggot

>>34392735
>get another gf
>make her jealous
Normies truly are sickening.

>>34392781
sorry man you want REAL ADVICE IN THE REAL WORLD

>not your godamn youthful idealisms or your animus

take the advice the world is sickening kid open your eyes you want something you gotta take it as a man you need to act

dont act like you dont know that

women dont respond to men being emotional you can say how you feel but shes gotta do it first you do it first ITS NOT HAPPENING im on your side here buddy dont get mad at me

should have out commas in that statemeng those are ALL SEPARATE ideas not one coherent sentence

>>34392842
>just get a girlfriend bro
>that's just how the world works
Kill yourself.

>>34392879
thats definitely not what i said but take it how you want

>>34392890
>thats definitely not what i said
>>34392735
>get another gf
>>34392842
>REAL ADVICE IN THE REAL WORLD

>>34392879
I only strictly told you whats not going to work I didnt tell you doing that would work.. but it saves you a lot of trouble in the long run either way

you go spilling spaghetti to that one special girl shes going to go fuck someone else unless shes

>not like every other girl

if you really believe women arent all the same deep down like we are you really are dumb

>>34392934
you know why im saying this man

dont pick it apart how you want to see it

dude the world is shit theres absolutely nothing you can do about it but I have screwed up exactly where youre about to.. trust me

dont do it follow my advice

>>34392879
as hard as that is to hear..

it sucks

but DONTeven think of doing what youre about to do

>you know im right

youre lucky i caught you too

>>34392991
definitely this. listen to this guy OP, ive been right there too. shit im exactly where you are right now except the girl in my situation doesnt even have a boyfriend and hasnt forever as far as i know. the guys right, i thought of trying to see if theres anything if we met up but like he said i know better than to ever utter a word of my own thoughts until theres a reason, trust me this stupid little "emotional vomit" dance everyone does is retardec as shit, its pointless and you cant expect someone to take it seriously especially if youre not even close yet. imagine someone you dont like saying all that garbage to you. save yourself the pain

>>34393103
>this stupid little "emotional vomit" dance everyone does is retardec as shit
I'm not sure what you're talking about. I'm the guy who just can't take it anymore when normies talk about "just getting a girlfriend" as if it was as easy as shopping for groceries, for us it's like winning the lottery.

>>34393190
Dude this is NOT WHAT I WAS SAYING im trying to help you man it was a rational thought process i wasnt saying go get a girlfriend

im telling you this should be your thinking NOT WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO

>>34393190
If you think correctly it will keep you guarded i wasnt saying go act like a douche its easy

you dont need to do that

just please do not do what youre about to do

>its like its happening to me all over again

>>34393241
I've been in the mindset of "be the best version of myself and at least some girl will eventually be interested in me" for 8 years now. Guess where I am.

>>34393190
it doesnt work like that for a lot of people either youre thinking in terms of top like 10%

people who are successful in that sense man usually drugs and alcohol are involved and they have a lot of disposable income

stop watching tv man and listening to niggers its all bullshit

>>34393283
>just please do not do what youre about to do
I don't know what you think I'm gonna do. I have no plans at all.

>>34393299
Keep you guarded man im not spewing redpill nonsense

im telling you from experoence not paraphrasing some gay website

>>34392276
Wow senpai what happened?

>>34393375
i figured you were op

my bad

>>34393403
I am OP, what did you think I was gonna do?

>>34393433
dubs of thruth

crisis averted

my work here is done

>>34390673

>living with boyfriend.

Found your problem OP. If you romantic feelings then don't orbit/talk to her, however do full pua autist and blow her off like trash. Be polite and treat her like any human being. Do not engage her first, let her do the intiations.

>>34393433
I thought you were going to tell her you liked her

>>34393495
thisaroni

dont let her trap you into spilling spaghetti either

>Redpill faggotry that is actually true

This is an example of a nuclear shit test

>>34393519
unless you are physically with her like in her presence do not say shit period

>>34393351
i partly agree with this, if youre ugly or stupid as fuck nothing can help you but if you believe your own bullshit enough people start to believe it too and this always goes for anyone

>>34393495
>Found your problem OP.
I wasn't hiding it, now was I?
>don't orbit/talk to her
>Be polite and treat her like any human being. Do not engage her first, let her do the intiations.
Exactly what I've been doing.

>>34393519
I've more or less done that years ago. In person, in a calm and collected manner, no begging no feels. She asked me to tell her more but I said "no, it doesn't work for me" and went on my merry way.

>>34393587
what if youre in the presence is it just a pissing contest to try to ensare each other in each others charm to gain control or what? i cant fathom being affectionate or ever initiating anything to lead it to that point, im meant to just wait on them for that i guess?

>>34393650
ensnare*

>>34393615
You dont want to be full of shit though man

These "successful" people few and far between are they genuine.. they just get chicks fucked up anyone can score on some drunk whore you just need to be there..

being genuine is the most important thing as much of a bs platitude that that sounds like dont bs people.. ever.

>>34393708
Keep that "just be yourself bro" nonsense out of my thread please.

>>34393650
its not like that

see i think like that too youre approaching this too logically its not about power/control

you already have that you are the man she looks to you to lead.. she will TEST your ability to do that

if you prove you can and you actually like her youll get her assuming shes attracted to you.

Not everything can be couched so logically man watch that

>>34393754
its a generalization im not TELLING you to do anything man

jesus

>>34393806
and thats precisely how youll "come off" as genuine.. do you see what im saying

your assertiveness in your own decisions and not like feeling uncomfortable about it makes you genuine certainly its not easy to DO but it is simple

>>34393786
yeah i hear you i tend to do that until i narrow it down to the most reasonable option but i havent gotten past the overall futility of the whole thing even though technically, she kind of agreed to a date although weirdly, to the point i didnt know the real meaning of it and i havent gotten back to her about it for a month now. idk i just asked normally if i could take her out some time, what she said was some typical dumb shit "im not really looking for anything right now so i wouldnt wanna lead you on or anything" now obviously anythings possible but im not an idiot so i doubt that meant anything more than "im looking for something with anyone but you"

in my head i figure thats my answer but for some reason the thought came to mind to say some shit like "yeah i hear you its not that serious we could just see where it goes" apparently maybe it was a shit test and that worked cause she goes "oh ok well why not" with a dumb smiling face so obviously it seems positive but im not going to be naive and a month since then ive been trying to work out whether i should even set this up still, what to do, and if shes gonna blow me off or some shit. ive known her for a long time but we went in and out of contact like the OP, never really orbited or was too big of a faggot supposedly she liked me years ago for the record but thats the past so i dont count it. kinda feel shitty for going so long without hitting her up but at the same time the idea of this entire thing just seems cringy to the core, being with somebody, affection, etc. idk man tldr at this point

>>34390673
>shes still living with her boyfriend
dont fall for her lies, OP.

>>34393984
>im not really looking for anything right now
I'm sorry man, but you got rejected. And that's a final answer in 99 out of 100 times.

>>34394085
alright yeah thats what i thought didnt want to be ridiculous

>>34393984
go with the cringey shit

you have to strike while the iron is hot.. you miss your chance usually you wont get another one..

Always assess any situation with your gut reaction its usually right

you either move when the opportunity presents or you make one.. ie... making her jealous or getting another girlfriend w/e you think will like make her like "see you differently"

you all probably know this women live moment too moment based off how they are feeling AT THAT SPECIFIC moment they dont have past/future thinking unless it elicits an emotional response i mean its not totally like that but its pretty much like that

>>34394125
In other words

>you have to show her YOU want her

>>34394125
go with the cringy shit as in trust my instinct that the whole thing is cringy right? or something else

>>34394206
keyword is show

dont tell her you want her.. show her.

good, this was productive probably saved some lives

>tfw I did a good thing today

>>34394206
i feel you, when she finally reached out to me again after no contact all the time i tried to talk a little bit to try to convey the change in my interests and personality since the last time but i didnt know or really care how well that went over

>>34394211
yeah dude id just let things cool down if the opportunity presents itself try again but go all in no half measures meet up with her even if she has a bf or even if you think its a waste of time

>she wants to see you as in your in her presence

women are retarded but the fact your chilling with her.. youve got a shot just always be subtle but you know make them like think about it

>>34394241
oh yeah i definitely know that, its just taking my boring ass a month to even thnk of something worthwhile to do to even instill that type of reaction however that would come around

>>34394293
but dont care if it doesnt go your way, create tension then leave it at that if she wants you she will make herself available

>this is confidence

>>34394263
yeah.. i get that but you have to demonstrate it visibly show her thats really the best way acting different doesnt work your not PROVING anything