Autistic shit you do

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I try to dance like MJ

turn off all the lights in my apartment and use binoculars to watch people eat dinner

>thrash and spaz out whenever I vividly recall autistic things I did around people a very long time ago
I'm still haunted by some stuff I did in middle school. Nobody remembers it but me, but that's the worst person to know about it

Tell myself to commit suicide outloud, hoping that if I hear it, it will mean more.

>if a web page loads too slow blink eyes rapidly waiting for it to load

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>>34377096
Constantly check the back of my head to see if my hair is thinning.
>>34377135
I also do this, except I try to copy Sam Rockwell instead of MJ.

When I drive, I usually make loud autistic noises and then realise that the sounds I make would really scare me if I was a normie.

I've caught myself actually reeing many times lately. Thankfully I haven't done it in public yet, but I have a feeling I will.

>walk on tiptoes
>rub blanket on my face while sitting at pc
>make noises when i remember something unpleasant

fuck bitches and don't call them back

do it it public too but
>"ch-ka-chh"
sound fx whenever anything:
turn in car
place object on surface
walk out of store having made purchase

watch late night sitcoms
masturbate to pornography
believe in myself

benis in fagina

I regularly yell out things like "I wish I was fucking dead" or "Please God, just take me now".

>>34378249
I say "I want to die so fucking bad" or "NIGGERS" and sometimes "NIGGER LIPS"

i go to the real /r9k/

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Confessed to my sins on /fit/ before but here's a list

>crawl up the stairs like a dog
>REE at people in public if they're walking slow in front of me or if they cut in line but only to adults, not to little kids or old people who might get scared
>whenever I was late for a school or Uni class I'd try and walk as fast as possible while being keeping my upper body stiff and hittin the sides of my mouth with my tongue so it'd hit both sides of my mouth really fast over and over again at the pace of my strides
>whenever I'm alone and something bad happens I scream
JUUUUUUUUU to mimic the JUUUUUUUUUST meme
>whenever something good happens on the computer I get off my chair and swing my arms around jumping up like I'm hardcore dancing in a mosh pit
>whenever I see people in public I think about the best way to take them down, their "weaknesses" so to speak, so if I see a fat guy with a gut like on Fallout when you zoom in I think that his stomach would be only 5% effective but his legs would be 95% effective because that's his "weakness" (if I I shot him there then the bigger they are the harder they fall)
>whenever the delivery driver comes and gives me something when he drives down the drive way I say "way he comes way he goes oooh ooooh" (long story)

Despite all these things I'm 99% sure I'm not genuinely on the spectrum, I come off as a pretty normal guy to normies

>Call my dogger (black lab) a nigger or a coon
>Say that I dislike blacks or fucking niggers

>playing vidya
>"cock in my ass"
>"poop on my butt"
>"shit-dicks"
>"shit-cock"
>"shit-balls"
>"fucking-fuck"

>>34378335
haha good post, I too will yell JUST and DESIGNATED at my cat. I don't give a fuck if the neighbors hear

>>34378321
>>34378352
I was high at the mall once and jerked/cracked my neck and pulled the shit out of one of my tendons, so I said Fucking Nigger like any normal curse word, forgetting there was an Emo Nigger a few feet away..
Never got confronted about it because all of the liberal kids at the small city highschool were pussies

Then was drunk at the mall years later and called it an emo nigger, no fucks given

>>34378369
DICKBUTT

I sing songs to myself when I'm driving about Adolfstein Hitlerberg the nigger-loving kike.

I also shout /pol/ memes in the shower.

>>34378483
That's awesome, I should shout /pol/ memes in the shower now.
One thing I love doing is listening to jodeling while browsing /pol/

>>34377676
i actually learned how to moonwalk and do some of his most basic moves

>>34377297
>>34377343
Dis is me oregan0

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>i often run up the stairs to get to my room even though there's no rush.

> i often get my food out of the microwave when the timer is at 0:01 so that the next person will have to cancel that timer before using the microwave. It started out as a fun way I thought I would troll my family one time but I ended up doing it for years and no one has said anything

>I impulsively bite my nails, sometimes until they bleed

>back when I was more flexible I would do the toe nails as well

>>34378680

wow that's a sick prank bro in surprised no one noticed xD

>>34377096
i get bad thoughts, that is why i try getting busy

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>>34377096
after years of being stealthy around the house at night it became habit to walk with the tip of my feet

I know it looks autistic as fuck but I'm used to it and it's actually more comfortable than it looks. Also my calves are mad strong

>>34378778
>mad
neck yourself.

>>34378778
>became habit to walk with the tip of my feet


that's not a habit you sperg, that's called "toe walking" it's a sign of neurological disorders aka autism

>>34377214
advanced robot

grats dude

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>>34378828
But I only started doing it after I became a hikki that only comes out at night

I'm not autistic am I?

>>34378680
seems more like OCD than autism

>>34378828
Not that anon, but I toe walk during the day in my apartment. but I do it so I don't get my whole foot dirty from the tile... Am I autistic?

>>34377096
Whenever I watch TV/anime/play vidya alone I always talk to the characters. And if my character has a voice line I always say it out loud, like in skyrim or something.

Also sometimes I lay in bed and listen to music and think about what montage of my life I could put to the music video, if nothing works I just make stuff up. This one is kinda fun I love doing this. Maybe not autistic but a little weird.

>>34378927
have you considered just mopping your floor?

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>>34377096
I sometimes make random noises y accident then I get pissed off and start saying something stupid like "NORMIE EGGS ARENT TOASTED"

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>>34378216
>believe in myself
Fucking normie fag

>>34379243
don't worry anon I mutter REEEEE in my room when something happens

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>>34378778
I learned to do it from morrow wind , the mid level rogues guild quest giver advises it "Walk on hot sands" to wish you well in your tasks.

>>34379243
>I sometimes make random noises y accident then I get pissed off and start saying something stupid like "NORMIE EGGS ARENT TOASTED"
Me too, thanks

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>>34378680
>tfw I just remembered the time I was chewing on the nail of my big toe in a crowded martial arts class on belt test day when I was 15.

I just couldn't resist it. It was right on the edge of my toe too so it was super satisfying. I'm only now realizing I had my mouth all over my toe which was all over the floor where other people were walking. Their sweaty feet. Probably diseases and shit on their feet. Thank fuck I didn't die. Completely forget about this memory and I'm cringing just now about it.

Try to open the microwave at 0.00.
Bite small pieces of flesh from inside my mouth.
Hate specific lamps and their glow.
Act like im having a seizure and see how my dogs react.
Also sing anime openings in a mixture of japanese and gibberish.

>>34378861
you are if you have to ask

>>34379390
How could you do that at 15 years old lol the madman

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>run up the stairs on all fours
>act out reload animations
>make stupid sound when i remember something embarassing
>make exaggerated strain sounds when im shitting
>say BRAAAPP out loud when i see a nice butt on the internet

>>34380610
>>34379390
literal autism is your answer

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fap to furry porn

>>34380560
>Open the microwave at 0:00
it's a based feeling

>live in nyc
>always use headphones when walking around, taking the train, etc.
>always avoid interaction; keep my hood up and/or hide my face with a balaclava or scarf
>feel cool because nobody who saw me 10 minutes ago knows where I am now. Autistically take pleasure in being a grey man

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If I'm watching porn online or see something particularly obscene, I'll turn my head away from the screen and do an aside thing as if there was an imaginary camera and shrug thinking: "Yeah, I'm fucking pathetic. What else did you expect from me?"

I sometimes just lie on the floor for like half an hour

>>34380743
I'm not mad enough to go full balaclava but I enjoy this too.

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>>34377096

>rub hands together really fast when excited/anxious
>walk around the house talking out loud to myself
>browse 4chan
>listen to nightcore
>rock when listening to music
>rub dick against bed/pillow when hard instead of using my hands

>>34377214
Sentry bot sees what you eat

I probably do more autistic shit than I'm aware of, but a few examples

>getting a ride in a car
>make a game where I have to blink between each light pole on the side of the road

>never step on lines when walking on tiled sidewalks, mostly outside

>when I bake a cake I often talk to a "camera" as if I'm hosting a baking show

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Whenever I am about to make eggs, I grab two of them, hold one in each hand, and strut around the house like I am one of these egg snatching dinosaurs from The Land Before Time in front of my dog in a taunting manner. I pretend that he is the dinosaur that wants to eat plants instead of eggs. I sing the parts of the song that I remember. It has become a weird ritual. He gets very exited and runs around the house with me while I do it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsjJ1WWrV20

>>34380892
>tfw you remember this exact scene and now can't stop thinking about The Land Before Time and the time the triceratops bathed all day in these warm springs and Sarah went with them

>>34377096
Lol did the same thing for about an hour yesterday. Pretty trippy

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I post pictures of this man