what if you had a gf

I would say nothing personel babe but I like 2d

Yeah, what now indeed? I would have no idea what to do.

Good thing I'll never have this problem! Haha.

probably worry too much about fucking it up, worry about her breaking up or cheating on me, worry about being a good bf, about how she perceives me, about how to make sure she never leaves me...

Wouldn't happen.

I already know I'm a fuck-up which is why I actively avoid relationships.

>>34330876
but assuming you somehow ended up having a girlfriend, what would you do?

>>34330827
star separating and isolating her from her family and friends.
then convince her to move to the woods with me.
that way she will be mine for ever.

>>34330827
murder her and fuck the corpse

>>34330927
>star separating and isolating her from her family and friends.
Already did that myself. When do we move, master?

>>34330827

Do shit together. Help her with her problems. If she is true gf, she'll help me with mine. Die knowing that someone will comfort me.

ask her to come to my house and hang out. we can watch movies or just be together. we don't have to talk. we can talk when we are comfortable. nothing worse than talking because you think its awkward when its quiet.

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>>34331080
Soon, my love

one day you will wake up in a beautiful comfy cabin in the woods away from all the problems of this world.

>cuddle her a lot
>kiss her a lot
>have sex whenever she's horny
>emotionally comfort her
>watch anime with her
>take her out to dinner
>try new food places together
>go to the movies together
>go to the beach with her
>introduce her to my family
>travel with her
That's all I can think of off the top of my head
>tfw no gf

>>34330917
take a photo of her classy style no slfie bullshit,choke her to death, buy her a cute black dress, bury her as deep as the earth allows me to and then print that photo put it in my wallet and imagine that she was once my true soul who died slowly and gently from a illness as we spent together her last days.

Reading Poe has been fucking up my brain

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>>34330827
>have sex once
>tell her she was horrible and that I didn't enjoy it at all regardless of how it actually felt
>dump her the next day

once I lose my virginity I can finally stop caring about it.

>>34331166
Not the same anon but this made me cry
I hope you find love , anon.

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Hug her and be nice to her

>>34331167
you forgot
>inevitably get cucked by her
and
>get dumped in favor of chad after she takes all my money

>>34330827

Now comes the hard part. Keeping her.

>>34331248
wait, we're not even past the easy part yet?

>>34330827

Dump her immediately.

Obviously I was in a very impaired state of mind when I made the decision to get into a relationship.

>>34330827
Nothing. I'm not ready for a gf

>>34330827
>spill spagetti
>lose gf
>be virgin
>think about suicide
>go on 4chins

I would impregnate her.

God I need to breed.

>>34331210
Thanks anon. i hope the same for you.

Deeply tongue her asshole

I honestly would have no idea what to do or how I even got a gf in the first place. I would inevitably be dumped for Chad though.

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Suck a fart out of her ass.

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>>34330827
tfw crispy has sanpaku eyes

she's so perfect

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>>34331391
She hasnt posted in twitter for ages
Maybe she was deported

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>>34330827
>get gf
>suddenly have to start seeing her and texting her every day or whatever she thinks is normal

I don't know man. I want a gf, but it just seems weird and awkward to do cute things with her. You're going to die someday.

Inevitably she'll cheat on me for Chad out of nowhere, even though she consistently tells me that she loves me despite my faults and betaness, and she'll help me get through it

It already happened before anyways[/ spoiler]

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>>34331405
No shes fine shes just busy

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>>34331431
Have a rare crispy my friend

>>34330827
Love her if i actually love her. Dump her if i don't.

>>34331198
If all you care about is losing your virginity then you're an idiot. You're first time is almost always terrible and you'll probably come to fast, I fucked a fat bitch just so I could lose mine. It's loneliness that will eventually break you down.

Ejaculate on her as much as possible.
Fill all of her holes with my cum.

Mark her as mine.

Cuddle with her if she's my waifu. Break up if anyone else.

>>34331448
How do I know that's crispy?

>>34331431
CRISPY PLEASE MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>34331491
Not proof, but here is her in the cosplay.

>>34330827
Loud fucking at ungodly hours to spite my asshole neighbor.

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>>34331491
>When he lifted my skirt i didnt know what to do.

Digged from old twitter

I could already have one. I never want to be with any girls that are interested in me though. Its a mark of poor taste liking me. I guess I'm just waiting for the right person who will most likely never come. Even if I got a gf I'd probably still be unhappy anyway.

>Asks friend to chill
>Sorry anon at (Diff city) with girlfriend
>Asks friend to go to bar
>Gf is sick sorry bro
Pretty much only hang with my one n33t virgin donaldtrump supporting anti-semite kind of racist friend because of this reason lol.

I'll finally be able to hang with my girlfriend and watch romantic movies/disney movies that is just gay watching with other men or pathetic alone. I don't even care about sex that much desu(and I have a big benis), I just want a girl who enjoys my company and cuddles. Also sick of watching porn, I always feel depressed after I cum buckets but almost always lose nofap after a few days. I'll probably have major trust issues at the beginning but will finally have a reason to lift again other than to look aesthetic to random roasties.

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>>34331501
No she won't she already promised to marry me.

>>34331527
faggot
reasdsawe

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Why did crispyposting die off?

>>34331166
>tfw finding a cosy husbando and moving to a private island/isolated cabin is my dream too
>tfw no husbando to have raunchy sex with in the middle of nature

>>34330827
I'd fuck her in all sorts of weird/inappropriate places, like in the middle of the forest of in my roommates bed.

>>34331558
Idk but it made me sad

>>34331546
>reasdsawe
What are you trying to say anon? Are you having a stroke.

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Photo of my gf

>>34331542
Sorry, but Crispy is mine. She doesn't know it yet but she'll love being with me.

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>>34331558
She was just another flavor of the month waifu.

Nobody has been able to top her though.

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>>34331575
have my crispy my friend.
Find solace in her visage

>>34331578
Dont fuck with me nigger i can shit all over your roof

I'd start exercising, try to put on a bit of muscle, get a part time job, wear nicer clothes, get a nice haircut and start studying a lot harder.
If I had a girlfriend it'd mean that I have potential to integrate successfully into society which would mean the world to me.

how the fuck would i even get a gf in the first place lmao

>>34331586
Yet she was the best. Did she ever betray /r9k/ by getting with Chad or something? As far as I know /r9k/ betrayed her.

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>>34330827
i have one
she's an annoying cunt
we fuck once a while, it's disgusting
i barely come and her vagina stinks like fucking SHIT
even kisses aren't that good
i fucking got monkey paw'd or something, because i'm not sure if this is what i was looking for
cuddles are still amazing

>>34331592
Thank you i really needed a new crispy

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>>34331612
Eliza and that kike gained fame over her.
Crispy is pure and didnt give drama to keep the masses hooked

>>34331620
Have my classiest Crispy, friend

>>34331631
Where do you get these

>>34331613
thanks for warning me before I did something stupid

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>>34331642
Digging from old twitter and Instagram Posts

>>34331586
>flavor of the month waifu
>month
Actually from mid-late summer 2015 to early-mid fall 2016, that's almost a year

>>34331722
>almost
more than

>>34331631
Yeah fuck them. I like Crispy because she managed to be above the drama, whereas other whores just take advantage of their orbiters.

Love her. Have fun together. Maybe build a family with her.

>>34330827
That's alterhacker on Instagram?

>>34330827
i dont know
what am i suppose to do with another person?

Break up because a gf means less time spent doing things I like.

Time is a valuable resource, why should I invest it into something that will burn me regardless?

We plan a mass shooting and then kill ourselves afterwards heh