dear diary

i'm done filtering my thoughts to make up for how i feel and trying to seem like i'm not exactly like everyone else... but at the same time that's exactly how i feel. just like all the other girls, except not nearly as good enough. i didn 't evne make any sort of level and i even went backwards....i'm not any type i don't even have an identity

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man mirai nikki was one of those chinktoons that i felt was objectively pretty mediocre, but boy, i sure loved that shit

sry i don't have any advice but i'll read text-vomit if you want, i have a lovely 10 hour shift ahead of me due to some coworker kikery

why is it so hard to be different? without acting out? i don't know why i want to be special... i don't know why i crave attention i'm not even good enough for... why can't i be content with my life? i have some friends online and i have a decent parent. that's all i should need ....

i just need to be skinny. then when i'm skinny, i can get attention for that? maybe i could keep going and be like one of those instagram girls constantly in a hospital just dying for attention, literally dying , because that's what it takes, to be noticed, i'm tired of not being good enough to anyone, completely unnoticed and working so hard not eating and puking and bleeding until someone notices and someone cares

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>>34325760
well i'd go ahead and tell you right now that in the 18-25 age bracket, NOT making a conscious effort to differentiate yourself from "all the other girls, le sigh" would probably put you in the deep minority

>>34325835
that actually makes me feel better... i do have that going for me.im young,,, and then when that's got what is even desirable about me??? nothing?

maybe i'll just die soone

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>>34325968
well i'm a male (male) but boy, i don't at all envy the other sex for that; growing old must be a hell of a lot more frightening

of course while growing old you're free to work on things aside from appearance/physical capability to add to your "worth"; skills, family, shekels, etc

maybe you will die soon, and maybe not; it is pretty fucking anti-pragmatic to dwell on and have some perverse desire for quickly impending (but painless) death

i mean, your main issue here is that you want senpai to notice you and senpai just doesn't seem to notice you

don't really have much for that, i'm pretty ambivalent when it comes to attention

why is it such abad thing to want attention.. like yeah.. i crave attention... i want it so FUCKING BAD.... i will do most anything for it.... andpeople hate me for that.. everyoone fucking hates me,, i would have no problemwith telling everyone in mylife i fucking hate them and never speak to them agian, how is that friends/?

>>34326159
a lot of people like you, you have a ton of orbiters...deep inside i think you must be this terrified little child thats afraid of being abandoned or of being alone, so you basically are willing to do anything to please others.

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i would recommend consulting your pineal gland and petitioning the Lady Eris to fulfill your desire for constructive chaos

fnordy fnord for further reading http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/1.php

sometimes I walk around and try to imagine the perspective of the people around me, I can only think they see me as nothing

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where i work there's a lot of teenagers and some still in high school. i'm so sick are tired of hearing about formerly cute and innocent girls taking chads cock and having flings as they age above 18 or so. how do you get over this feel senpai? i look around and dont see anyone in normal relationships. i look at older women now and realize they were all probably the same once upon a time. how do you trust girls in a world like this?

>>34326159
are you a teenage girl senpai?

>>34326735
isn't that obvious?? i'm a pathetic fucking idiot