What would you do if you had a time machine?

try to go back and stop all the pain in the world from happening

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Prevent myself from being born so I could stop existing without making anyone sad.

fast forward to the end of time

>>34306253
kill my sister, probably around the time I was 1 or 2
then presuming I don't get wiped from existence then and there, hop around to various points in my childhood in hopes of making a difference.
and if I can't fix myself in the end, I'm going to the future to play videogames

>>34306275
Fuck off Pucci, go suck Dio's cock

>>34306253
Stop all life from existing. The crime is life, the sentence is death.

>>34306253
it depends on the nature of travel
would i still be in my distinct form and chronological age from the time of activating the machine, or would i regress in age as time went back?
if I didnt change i'd just send myself a few cryptic messages and gifts, and maybe manslaughter a few people discreetly as a service to benefit society.

>>34306608
What did your sister ever do to you?

Find Adam Lanza and forcefeed him ice cream until he's too fat to shoot kiddies

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Can i have some fries please and a burger please

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Bring my video camera to various historic events and sell hd footage for a profit and fun!

either save rosa or meinhof

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>>34306274
dont be such a nigger

>>34306818
If half of who you are is nature, and half is nurture, then she owns at least a 30% share in how I have turned out.
I'm in no mood to storytime so just take my word for it she is human garbage.
Could argue about timing or causing a miscarriage for optimum effect but I'm more fond of doing it myself.

>>34306253
Go to the future when genome research is more advanced and collect details on identifying various genetic deviances.

Return to past and campaign for mandatory abortion of fetuses illustrating said defects, including sperg-blight.

Return to present, refreshingly free of sperglords.

Confirm the origin of the universe.
(Created by God 6-10,000 years ago)

Inform my dad he has cancer so I wouldn't grow up fatherless

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Watch the destruction of Rome by the gauls and the destruction of the byzantines by the ottomons.

>>34307538
damn that's a good one
not much on earth can top witnessing the fall of empires

>>34306253
Time travel into the future if they made human immortality.

>>34306253

i would sit in it and fart really loud.

>>34307538
>Not preventing their demise instead

>>34306253
Visit childhood me and tell him how not to be a failure.
Also would tell him to get Bitcoins when they came out.

Conduct a series of in-depth paleontological and historical investigations,breaking new grounds for science. As well as trace how life evolves in the future and explore possible futures. On top of this I`d probably also use it to create alternate timlines by changing monumental parts of my personal life.

>>34306253
Prove evolution and make the world non-religious.

>>34306818
she's probably better off than him

Use it to win the lottery, or at the horse races.
If I go back to fix my past, I'll either cease to exist or won't be able to return to my timeline.
If I'm able to return to my timeline, I will still be a sorry ass loser, while my other me form an alternative timeline will probably fare a lot better than me. That's why I rather use the machine to win money as much as it's possible without drawing too much attention, then I travel back to help my younger self with advice and bit of money.

>>34308411
Would you really want to jeopardize your own existence by visiting yourself?

Then again this IS /r9k/...

Fast-forward to the last few years of Earth's life, then travel to the Heat Death of the Universe and await the inevitable

>>34308448
I've implicitly said that it was a bad idea.
A better idea is to win the money, go back to the past and make my younger self find the money without noticing me. If he still fucks it up I don't care.

travel 125 years into the future and start fresh

>>34308512
Money and a handwritten instruction book of what he can do, what should avoid, but that will still imply effort and hard work from his part.
I blame my problems mostly to a lack of good guidance: no siblings, parents too busy with their jobs, no friends.

>>34306818
Not that guy, but:
>Beat me.
>Broke all my stuff on purpose.
>Insisted that she get a gift of equal or higher value during my birthdays and she gets to invite at least 50% of her friends.
>Pretended to want to watch something (anything, even some talk-show) whenever there was something on tv I wanted to watch.
>Took whatever food she could from me. When we were slightly older and our parents would leave us alone with premade meals - she would throw food in the garbage after she couldn't eat anymore.
>Would get into my face and insult me and scream in my ear until I shoved her away, at which point she would pretend I beat her up.
>Made up lies about me being a violent, dangerous, perverted bully to everyone.
>Go trough my shit and give away my stuff to younger cousins who she knew would break it, just to make me look like a grouch when I took the stuff back.
>Stole my allowance/holiday-money.
>Locked me in cupboards/storage-closet/attic for hours when I was small.
>Whenever our parents were at work she would invite her cow friends and blast music all day and empty out the fridge. When parents asked about gone food or neighbors complained she would blame me.
Even though I live alone I still hoard food under my bed, hate women with a passion and am a general mess, she is probably about half the reason for all that.

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>>34307538
>Western Roman Empire
>Falling to gauls

>money
>money
>money
>fast forward until I wind up in a year that knows how to cure aging
>money
>build a recording studio
>record music forever
>travel
>time travel
>go back in time and document history as it REALLY happened
>not this Jewish fucking sob story
>and for that matter
>probably kill all Jews

>>34306253
Go back to January 1st 2007 with my current intelligence and knowledge.

>>34310141
>the holocaust never happened xD
>I wanna kill all jews xD
off yourself

>>34310286
I don't really care if it happened the way they say it did.
>it didn't
But really, ultimately, fuck the Jews.
I mean kikes.
They've been exiled from hundreds of civilizations for thousands of years.
It's time to FINALLY take it a step further and erase them from this planet.

>>34310286
Also, I don't call it "The Holocaust".
But rather, "The Attempted Holocaust".

Two, if anyone ever decides to look into the history of WWII (not the outcome, which is grossly embellished, but the causes) they will discover that Jews are 100% responsible for starting it.
Like always, they got what was coming to them.
And Hitler wasn't all that bad at first............
He was actually PAYING Jews to leave Germany.
Then he lost his cool.
Because fuck the Jews.

>>34307538
>gauls
>not goths

1000 years in to the future. Go into space

>>34310757
>>34310855
cringe

394th 4gwgin d

Go back in time and get a ton of nude pics of historical figures I can sell. Naked Cleopatra, naked Socarates, naked Alexander the Great, naked empresses from China, naked Hitler and Eva Braun, naked Napoleon... oh ,and some pics of Mary giving birth to Jesus! I'd bet she was naked when that happened too! I'll sell them all and get rich.

If that doesn't make me a millionaire, I'll go forward a few days to find a winning powerball number, and play those numbers. That's all I want, really, just some money and maybe some saucy pics.

>>34311172
K.

>You have been muted for etc.

>>34306253
I would travel a few hundred years into the past and live a fulfilling life of hard labor and simple pleasures. Maybe like 19th century North America

I would go back in time and bring back lots of evidence

Then i'd go back to the present, hide my machine in some underground bunker in the middle of nowhere, tell every country's media that I have a unique time machine and am willing to sell it to the highest bidder, scarcely using my historical evidence for proof.
Then watch as the world shits itself and i'm probably tortured and murdered. Then propaganda and misinformation abound and nukes go flying