/britfeel/

Start my new job on monday. Been given 40 hours the first two weeks fucking not looking forward to that.
Cute girl from the selection event got hired as well so I get a chance to make her fucking hate me at least

>>34297243
What have you lads been doing tonight?
I've been on the fosters and I got a EuroMillions ticket, maybe this will be the big one.

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> renton comes into the surgery
> complains of heroin withdrawl
> tell him I have brochures on rehab clinics
> give him a lethal dose of morphine instead

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third for cheating on your waifu with a 28yr old salaryman that was reincarnated into a WW1 loli

>>34297307
Share some out among us wont ya lad

did you watch the inauguration?

Gonna do a brew and a poo lads.

>>34297332
I'd buy the britfeel gang a house to live in free of charge.

>>34297348
yea cringed at the yanks, always over the top religious shit with them

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Who's up for a bit of waifu posting?

>>34297482
No just fucking die already

>>34297307
Sat with my family mostly. My nan is staying for a while until her knee op pains are gone and she can look after herself again.
Came upstairs to my room a while ago and just been sat crying over assorted stuff the last hour or so

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Cheers for attending the Film Night lads, good laugh!

Choices for next weeks Film Night are -

>Rover Dangerfield
>In Bruges
>Total Recall (Superior Arnie Edition)
>Shaun of the Dead
>28 Days Later
>In the Loop
>Kes
>Flight of the Navigator

This week the poll goes up on Wednesday, so keep your eyes peeled!

Have a great night lads. Hope it is a nice comfy night for you.

>>34297515
>crying over assorted stuff
I almost want to cry at the moment with my money situation being so bad but it wouldn't solve the problem but it is stressing me out though

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Claim your Trainfu!

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>>34297482
Posting lad.

Thanks for the late night call

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>>34297563
i-I know I need a power wash, Baka!!!

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being a poof is fucking great

I have exhausted all culture. No new films, television series, video games, music or books interest me at all any more. Society is freefalling into an inescapable social, moral and cultural decline. Almost everything is completely fucking shit now.

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>>34297563
hello yes this post is original thanks

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>>34297563
I like this one because it's a single carriage

>>34297691
but we have President Trump

>>34297691
the only frontier left to explore is death

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>>34297563
Posting the trainfu.

>>34297528
>still attempting that after today

>>34297253
^^^
anyone else here dropped out of uni?

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>>34297640
Fuck off, jew. Don't spread your lies here.

Decided I'm going to blow 1k on a new years holiday to tokyo

my last xmas was so intolerably boring, half my family ignores me or is moved out/dead now anyway.

might as well do it while I'm still in uni and have some freedom on winter break

>>34297741
yeah

in my second year I just spend most of my time sticking dildos and buttplugs in my bum so obviously I started to fail everything

dropped out and now I've been a NEET every since

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>>34297563

not even original commentu

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>>34297755
Being held safe by another man is bliss
Even better when you feel his cock inside you

So submissive and warming to me

>>34297806
I see you've come straight from /pol/ too.

Skate or die tbqh lads

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>>34297563
>1:1 scale trainfus
Disgusting

>>34297768
Tokyo is expensive, lad. I hope that 1k doesn't include flights and accommodation.

>>34297806
Well that is very gay lad

>>34297806
>jizz up your butt is warming
can't you just get a hot water bottle

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>>34297824
Being an ex homophobe is the best part
The first time my boyfriend put his cock in me.

I knew I never ever wanted to be anything other than a faggot

>>34297806
>tfw hugging your best bro and he squeezes tighter than you
no sex though, that severely reduces the life expectancy of the relationship

>>34297727
>the only frontier left to explore is death

Rest assured I've been considering that very, very seriously.

>>34297895
not him but I saw you can get a train to china now, wonder if that would be cheap then you could somehow get to japan.

Lads is it autist tier to want to do jiu jitsu or some fighting thing, all four people ive known whove ever done it or any other thing like it have ranged from slightly odd to complete fucking chris chan autist, and i think its embarrassing anyway just like swimming

youre the only people i can come to for help

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>>34297902
It's more than that. The way my heartbeat flutters when he's on top of me

Being held tight and squeezed in his arms. Being chewed on. And getting to be soft and sensitive

And the heartwarming realisation that I've finally experiencing what I was afraid of for so many years and completely loving it

>>34297896
It's great

>>34297993
can't you just get a dog

>>34297979
I saw the article about that train from China arriving in London, but as far as I'm aware it's a freight train only at the moment.

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He's going overboard, lads. Just ignore him.

>>34298022
This post made me laugh proper fucking hard.
Thanks, anon.

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>>34298022
Dogs aren't sexy.

Men are.

>>34298031
it's pretty cute tho desu

>>34297985
No it's not autistic at all. Stick with it and it will greatly benefit your wellbeing and confidence. If you're going to do Jiu-jitsu remember to train a striking based discipline like Muay Thai or Kickboxing alongside it. Jiu-jistu is ground orientated and will leave you somewhat vulnerable on your feet.

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>>34298058
you fucking what? fine more sexy bitches for me

>>34298058
are you and your boyfriend cute? how old are you both?

>>34298084
>he fell for this self defence classes actually work meme

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>>34297563
>tfw your trainfu gets BLACKED by ASLEF

; _ ;

>>34298084
thank you for replying, i thought this thread was just gay people and bestiality judging by the freaks in it right now

>>34298150
>not fucking guys or dogs
you sound like a right proper norman, lad

>>34298149
ah yes unions

the bane of this country

>>34298120

Of course they can "work." If you're training genuine martial arts and not at some fraudulent McDojo, that is. Jiu-jitsu, if you're committed, is an invaluable skill to possess. Muay Thai too. I'm a brown belt in a form of Kickboxing. I can guarantee you that it works. I can guarantee you Jiu-jitsu works. I've been choked unconscious on the mat before, and have seen many an unpleasant stoppage in professional martial arts of all kinds.

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Kay vs Jack

Who would win in an ultimate cook off, hosted by Ainsley Harriot?

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What an absolutely terrible thread

Who else /insomnia/ here? Woke up at 11pm on the 19th with just 3 hours sleep, and now it's 1am on the 21st and I am absolutely wide awake

>>34298274
At least Kay's food isn't raw in the middle

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>>34298239
I think thatchers goverment ultimately binned the project so not all the unions fault
>>34298149
they have one at york railway museum, you should go hug your trainfu anon

>>34298315
>>34297731
I like the 158

it's always nice to get one instead of a northern powerhouse 142

>>34298268
>not at some fraudulent McDojo
which literally 99% in the west are
>Jiu-jitsu, if you're committed, is an invaluable skill to possess
sure it is, lets see you vs a gang of tyrones with knives then
>I've been choked unconscious on the mat before, and have seen many an unpleasant stoppage in professional martial arts of all kinds
in the confines of a martial arts match which is just a sport and not a real fight

real life isn't a jackie chan movie lad

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>>34297321
>Shipman comes to my house
>confides that he's a latent homosexual
>I am jealous of his glasses
>says he'd like a drink
>give him a lung full of water instead
>still stuck in Muswell Hill East Devon

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>>34298342
>class 142

literally a bus on railtracks, shocking how they're still in use

>>34298268
>fraudulent McDojo

what are these, and how do i actively avoid them

>>34298099
Yeah :3
I'm 20 and he's 24

>>34298149
what does 'blacked' mean?

origiginal

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>>34297482
Team 3-D checking in

>>34298509
how'd you meet him? post pics

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If I change my way of living
And If I pave my streets with good times
Will the mountain keep on giving

>>34297482
Posted. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight

>>34297563
>want to make a joke about someone's trainfu being a coalburner
>you're all dieselfags

>>34298796
>Posted.
I'm sorry to tell you, but...

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>>34298796
Mucked that one up, didn't I?

>>34298811
That's a cosy looking waifu picture

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>>34298811
why aren't you asleep lad

>>34298848
you have to be cosy at this hour, lad.

Sleeping on the floor lads

Have to leave baking soda on the mattress for at least 18 hours

>>34298887
buy a new non-piss soaked mattress

buy a plastic cover in case you piss yourself again or alternatively stop drinking like a retard

>>34298887
>Have to leave baking soda on the mattress for at least 18 hours
Why though?

>>34298887
too much booze lad? i had a dream i wet the bed the other night, was a relief when i woke up dry

>>34298411
>which literally 99% in the west are

This might have been more accurate 20 years ago, but since the advent and rise of MMA the western world has overshadowed the rest of the world and there's literally an actual, legitimate MMA gym in every western town.

>sure it is, lets see you vs a gang of tyrones with knives then

Your knowledge is lacking. Jiu-jitsu is designed for predominantly 1 on 1 combat. Switching to mount or side control before transitioning to an armbar or kimura obviously isn't going to be practical if all of your adversaries friends are kicking you in the head and stabbing you while you work. Muay Thai, a striking art, is much more suited to defend against multiple attackers, but of course it has its limitations. If you're unarmed and outnumbered and your opponents have knives there's a very good chance you will lose, but training and conditioning will greatly increase your chances as opposed to not doing anything at all.

>in the confines of a martial arts match which is just a sport and not a real fight

Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) is as close to a real fight as any athletic regulatory body in the west will allow and the techniques employed therein are incredibly effective in actual combat situations. I take it you've never seen what happens when a pro boxer gets into a scrap with someone who doesn't train? It's like saying boxing (which is a big part of mixed martial arts) is ineffective on the streets because it's also a sport. That is an incredibly ignorant and laughable position to support.

>real life isn't a jackie chan movie lad

I had to laugh at that. Stop talking and go to bed. You have no idea.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04lxs78

Would you do it lads?

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>MFW I cook something and Lee says it tastes of nothing

>>34298907
I think I'm gonna stop drinking. Fellow wino or saw my post earlier?
>>34298914
Wet the bad lad
>>34298929
Yep

I made it worse by soaking the mattress with water and Daz

Probably didn't leave vinegar and baking soda on the other side for long enough so this wont be the last night on the floor

>>34299046
How'd you manage to piss your bed? Too much drink?

>>34298451
A dojo that teaches fancy looking but impractical and ineffectual techniques, usually with a fake "master" who can't actually fight. If you are a beginner, identifying which places of practice are fraudulent and which aren't can be difficult. You best chance of success is to find a local MMA gym that trains people who actually compete in mixed martial arts. You will learn how to fight there.

Take no notice of the anon trying to discourage you. He has absolutely no clue what he's talking about.

>>34299108
Yeah. Far too much.

>>34298935
>Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) is as close to a real fight as any athletic regulatory body in the west will allow and the techniques employed therein are incredibly effective in actual combat situations.
bullshit, a real fight is eye gouging, ear biting and grabbing some dudes balls and pulling with all your might
>like saying boxing (which is a big part of mixed martial arts) is ineffective on the streets because it's also a sport.
your fucking ignorant if you think a real fight is anything like a boxing match. you think people on the street are going to keep a guard up and skip back and forth? sure boxers can fight but they won't be doing the shit they doing in the ring

>>34299262
I'm surprised you're this open to mention it. I'd be far to embarrassed

Think I might finally go and see Silence tomorrow.

>want to do push ups
>erection won't go down

I'm doomed.

>>34299321
sit ups lads

>>34299298
Well its an anonymous mummykay senpai forum and it could happen to anyone

I'd never reveal anything that could be traced to me

>>34299321
do push ups on me please

>>34299397
that's what you think, mummy may already knows you need drynites

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Made a cytube with 14hours worth of Kays good cooking videos, feel free to watch

https://cytu be/r/KaysGoodCookingFanChannel

>>34299519
why lad? i want to vomit after one

>>34297691
>No new films, television series, video games, music or books interest me at all any more.


Good thing you have up to thousands of years worth of that stuff already then

>>34299557
I've been watching them anyway so I thought I may aswell share it with the world.

It grows on you, keep watching i'm addicted

>>34297528
Was an absolute fuck up. Find a better streaming website, We want to watch a film and have a laugh, not download dodgy scripts

>>34297985
Brazilian Jiu jitsu brown belt here. Go for it, but as someone else said, combine it with boxing or thai boxing. I personally do regular boxing

Also, check out your potential instructor on

http://www.bjjheroes.com/tag/rankings

If he isn't on the list find another club

>>34299274
>bullshit, a real fight is eye gouging, ear biting and grabbing some dudes balls and pulling with all your might

How would you know? Sometimes a real fight is as simple as a right cross to the jaw. Sometimes it's a mad flurry of strikes that miss, land awkwardly, are blocked which ends with both participants giving up, exhausted. Sometimes people wrestle each other to the ground and just flail about crazily until someone goes for a typical headlock that can niether be escaped nor tightened to completion. A real fight can be many, many things, but it's rarely just as you describe it to be.

>your fucking ignorant if you think a real fight is anything like a boxing match.

Sometimes it's very similar, actually (albiet much shorter in duration). Sometimes it isn't. You're missing the point, however. I just used that as an example of what happens when someone who trains streetfights against someone who doesn't. The speed, power, accuracy, technique, rangehandling, cardio and hit conditioning of someone who trains at a competitive level will very quickly become apparent in a combat situation against someone who doesn't.

>you think people on the street are going to keep a guard up and skip back and forth?

If they don't want to get hit in the face it would be a good strategy to employ.

>sure boxers can fight but they won't be doing the shit they doing in the ring

Only because they're not in a ring and other factors come in to play. They'll still be fighting, though, won't they? You've admitted they can fight. In a combat situation you fight how you're taught, boxers mostly box. Wrestlers wrestle. A Kyokushin practitioner will use karate. An MMA fighter will usually just smash you to pieces wherever, using whatever.

>>34299702

get over it jesus fucking christ.

>>34299804
Hi, Jitsanon. I remember you. How's training? Glad to see another practitioner here tonight. Some people really don't know what the fuck they're talking about ITT. Have you read it?

>>34299899
Hey man. Yes, been following the convo, but cringey desu. There's always a fantasist thinking he knows best, he probably hasn't got the nerve to train himself so attempts to put others who do down.

>>34299274
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd9-8JWgnm8

>planned on getting up at 11am and being productive
>woke up at 3pm instead

fug

>>34299977
Putting me down I'm not too bothered about, but attempting to discourage an anon who's considering to begin training martial arts, which is often a very positive life changing experience, with outrageously ignorant misinformation is unacceptable. I will stay here all night to make sure he doesn't get away with it if I have to.

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I've thought about getting in martial arts/boxing or something along those lines to get me out of the house doing something

Would it awful if a weak underweight autistic neet showed up to one of these places to train or would I be accepted? I can't do 1 pushup right now

>>34300313

Really? No one press-up? I'm fairly confident there are Yemeni war orphans that can do one press-up.

>first wank in over a week
>wasn't even that good

Rushed it and used poor material but even then I expected better. Feeling depressed now desu

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>>34300372
don't bully, I think its fairly common

I started to do wall push ups to build up to regular push ups so I hope i'll be there soon. so is that a "you'll get laughed and bullied out of the place" answer

>>34300421

I have no idea how they'll treat you. I suppose it depends on the class.

>>34300313
It largely depends on what school you go to and the temperament of the instructors and students. What I will say is this: For a thousand years the weak and pitiful (I'm not talking about you personally) have sought out places to train and people to train with in the hope of becoming strong and powerful. It wouldn't be awful. It would be normal. Go for it, anon. Apply yourself, and you won't be unable to do pushups for much longer.

>>34300421
You need to go, get laughed out of the place, then when you're sulkenly walking home in the rain you run in to an old chinese man who will teach you the method of his people.

yeah thanks, If I could i'd just go live in some tibetan mountains and learn "the way" for 2years if I could

>>34300483
and then I end up walking back into the place and beating the shit out of them all at the same time, just like my animes

Jitsanon how long has it taken you to get your brown belt, if you don't mind my asking?

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>>34300531
>walking home from dojo as usual
>Decide to walk through an alley way when suddenly pic related

What do you do?

A BJJ brown belt is no laughing matter, even if the school isn't that great.

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>>34297243

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKalqi0O4fM

Fuck you Brits, you're the reason world hates white people, you and your American puppets are the new Venetian oligarchs and deserve to be dismantled

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>>34300841
Cor blimey, mate

>>34297528
>Kes
Jesus, your film selections are garbage. Why the fuck would anybody want to watch "Grim Up North: The Movie", let alone a bunch of lads whose lives are miserable enough as it is without a crippling dose of Thatcherite Yorkshire?

>>34300771
*teleports behind her*
you didn't have enough taters, you let your defences down
*throws bar bq sauce in her face*

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>>34300841
Rule Britannia, old chap.

>>34297528

suggestion: good movies.

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>have to make fresh bennies claim on monday
>seasonal xmas work didn't go so well this year

>>34301473
What benningtons do you get, anonkun?

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>tfw benningtons

i just cut myself really fucking deep
im sure i'll be okay until the morning, but should i get stiches tomorrow? it's about 1/2 an inch wide and i don't long how many inches because its bleeding
i don't want this shit to get infected

>>34301571
>Half an inch wide

Sorry mate, off to A&E for stitches tonight it is for you.

>>34301601
but i've put 5 plasters on it, will it last until morning?

>>34301571
Where cut yourself have you?

>tfw cut my benningtons off

>>34301601
I was going to say he'd be fine seeing as it's early morning but then I remembered it's saturday early morning

>>34301613
Plasters won't really help unless you've managed to stop the bleeding. They're just going to gunk up and fall off. Where is the cut located. What is the approxinate length?

>>34301631
>>34301670
on my forearm lad, i'm fucking scared
it's stopped bleeding but the cut is too wide
i've put 5 plasters on it, but i don't think that'll do the trick
it's only about an inch or so long
i've drink 500ml of vodka tonight as well if that makes any difference
actually fuck it i don't care if i die

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another night of lewd and sleeping at 4am

this was a mistake

>>34301739
lewd anon, what you being lewd to?

>>34301707
Vodka thins the blood and makes you bleed easier. An inch long isn't too bad, but the width is a little concerning. It will need to be stitched. You could hold out until morning but you're greatly increasing chances of infection.

>>34301759
i'm going to go go a&e tomorrow then, will i get sectioned?

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>>34301511

Fuck all m8

normal JSA

Hopefully only need it for a month or two

>>34301795
Why would you get sectioned? Just tell them you did it by accident and try not to act like a nutcase in there.

>>34301751
Some kino yuri that a friend suggested

said friend is also a massive faggot

>>34301820

hi yes i accidentallyd my whole forearm i am totally sane though ha ha

>>34301820
I went to camhs when i was like 16 and got diagnosed with depression. im 19 now, i just don't want to deal with doctors and shit again.

>>34301890
>yuri

nevermind anon

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>>34301890
>yuri
That's just wrong, lad

im really fucking scared
if i tell them i drink 1-2 litre(s) of vodka a week what will they do?
i don't care about dying, i just fon't want to die from an infected cut on my arm
have anyone of you lads done this shit before? what's going to happen?

ah fuck it im going to bed
talk to you lads later if im not dead

>>34301987
Maybe don't say you drink 1-2 litres a week
Just say you're an "excessive" drinker on occasion if they ask

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>>34301960
I'm sorry Nige, but it was a rather nice fap

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Did the 60 paracetamol anon from a few days ago live lads?

>>34302058
feeling knotty?

>>34302097

>60 paras

he prolly murked his liver rip paranon

mfw i think this girl is insinuating we should go on a date or something but >crippling social anxiety and no self worth

>>34302255
Well look at you mister fancy pants. Aren't you so devilishly handsome and all that shit.

>>34302255

id try it my mate, looking back ive missed opportunities when i realised that females were being flirty for me, mistaking it for politeness or even pity

>>34302375

lad i look like squidward on a comedown

>>34302383

maybe cus i look back at those opportunities but at the same time its like DO I REALLY WANNA GO THROGU HTIS ALL AGAIN

>>34297243
>it's half 4 and I have to be up for 6 to get ready for work

Holy fuck, how do I fix my sleep pattern?

>>34302458
>have to be up for 6 to get ready for work

I'm so sorry anon. I would genuinely kill myself if I had work this morning. Or any morning, for that matter.

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>tfw many benningtons

I will unironically pay a british femanon (female) to rip into me on voice chat for a few hours. Even better if she is a NEET or some other scum.

>>34302716
Why that is?

WHO STILL AWAKE ARE?

>>34302834
I have a strange non sexual attachment to the experience.

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>>34302458

What do you do/when do you finish anon?

Try and stay up to 8-10pm tonight

>i am horrible at maintaining a sleep patter desu

>tfw you wake up alive

GLUM

Does the anon who tried to cut a tracking device out of his arm still post here?

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>>34301924
>>34301960
Don't knock it 'till you try it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h5snZTfoEA

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THESE REAL NIGGA HOURS

WHO UP

SMACK DAT (YOU) BUTTON!

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>>34303155
(You) button. SMACK!

>yank friend on steam is coming to UK in july
>he has a friend down south who's 5'4 and about a 4/10 who allegedly gets regular poon
>they invited me to come down and get wasted and get me laid
should I do it lads? plenty of time to decide but this might be my way in to the normie lifestyle

>>34303195
Where abouts down South, I can tell you from living down here women are sluts, and the pussy getting ratio is dependent on your looks.Those they do greatly increase when they're drunk.

I once had a threesome with some ugly 50 year old ladies when I was 18.

Who here south east

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>>34303155
I-im h-here..

n-nice dubs

>>34303253
when I say down south I mean relative to scotland sorry, it's in cheshire which is probably north to you

this yank is gay and claims I'm adorable, his straight friend also says I'm cute so I guess I have that going for me

>>34303271
I was, now Im south west get on it fagget.

it's not really the south theres no fucking beaches I may as well be in the midlands

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>>34303155
>5am
>fapped three times
>not yawned yet
End it all, lads. There's no hope for me returning to a functional sleep cycle.

>>34303285
That's not South at all you fucking madman.

>>34303326
mate anything past durham is the south to me

>>34303321
Dam i can only fap two times in the day at max, when I was 17-18 I was fapping at least 12 times daily, till my knob was so sore I couldnt use it. I think I probably did some damage back then.

>tfw you don't understand the compass directions and don't know which way anything is in relation to you

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>>34303332
You actually said it, you absolute madman!

>>34303141
how much kissing is there?

Cooking some pizza right now ladus.

Btw, I while ago I badmouthed an anon who told me to buy chicken nuggys from iceland.

i gave them a second chance and these ones are much better, I'm sorry for yelling at you anon.

35
Can't drive
Age 35

Who here just actually doesn't even fucking care?

>>34303407
Quite a bit, especially in part 4

>>34303429
is it japanese kissing or normal kissing? sometimes the japanese take it overboard with tongue sucking and general noises while kissing, that's the stuff im after

>>34303461
It's very Japanese. The whole experience is pretty surreal, and I'd recommend watching it even if you don't plan on jerking off.

I'm honestly curious about how decrepit you lot are in real life.

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Where's that anon who argued with me in denial of my ability to drink 5 bottles of red wine and still type perfectly legibly? I've done it again and now I want to bite him on the skull.

(Pic related but is from last time)

>>34303512
You cannot fathom my wear.

>>34303532
fucking hell lad, good going

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>>34303532
Still doesn't prove anything, you absolute spastic

>>34303581
Thank. I am a very great champion.

>>34303614
Does your mummy give you any gbp for doing this well?

>>34303609
IT'S YOU! I KNEW YOU WOULD BE HERE AGAIN YOU FILTHY FUCKING MORNINGFAG!

I have done it again! Again have I triumphed! 48 units and still there is coherent text. You filthy fucking gerbil. I'll bite your skull now. Bite its fucking legs off.

>>34303703
pls stop biting people anon, its not a good idea

finally uninstalled WoW after playing on and off since 2007, I hadn't played in 6 months and really dont think Ill go back now. It just isnt the same anymore.

>>34303724
If anyone ought to get bitten, it's that sneaky fucking gerbil bastard. I'll bite him. You'll see!

(Hello again to you, by the way. Always here to politely ask me to refrain from biting people)

http://www.breitbart.com/live/inauguration-2017-swearing-president-donald-trump/saturday-night-live-writer-tweets-barron-trump-will-americas-first-homeschool-shooter/

Holy fucking shit, he's 10 years old come the fuck on, I wouldn't say shit about my niece it would destroy her. Sadists the lot of them.

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>>34303703
Try me, you cheeky little wanker. You clearly have something to prove. You're a pathetic little keyboard warrior.

>>34303757
youll be back, the memories of better days will start flooding your mind, at first youll tell them to fuck off, you know wow isnt anything like it used to be, but more and more youll start to think, maybe theres a chance, ill just give it another go for a month, and youll be right back in it

>>34303802
I do what I can anon, I lose sleep at night thinking you might bite someone. I dont want you to get in trouble.

>>34303826
You filthy fucking gerbil. Don't think I couldn't bite you right in half! You'll see!

>>34303812
The hypocrisy of the left is palatable. I don't actually endorse any political movement personally I dont think any change will come with either side.

Brexit was fun though, just for the bants I heard in the co-op the next day from private school kiddies.

>>34303812
Seems like the mainstream has finally caught up with /b/, give them 10 years and they'll be sharing jailbait and gore porn over twitter.

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>>34303853
You're a daft twat and mostly likely as timid as a housecat when face to face with someone.

>>34303912
4chan is possibly the best indicator of future human behaviour. If you just go on any of the topic specific boards you can probably accurately predict the trends of the next five years. I've yet to go on /biz/ yet, so I'm not sure if it applies there, maybe when I look into stocks I'll take a gander and see if it helps me, I know loads of people made mad money on bitcoin from there, I did however make 2grand from Trump becoming President.
Thank you /pol/

>>34303812
If I ever get married, however unlikely that maybe, I'll name my first born son Barron.

>>34302869
Yep, going to call in sick and do this as I'm still up and didn't get any sleep at all

>>34303920
My physical attributes are of abnormally large stature. I've bitten the heads off housecats. I bit a cornerchunk out of a brick Co-Op I'll have you picture. Feeble morningerbil I will smite you to absolute bits. With your fucking 4 bottles of beer and your "I've been up all night drinking" softpostage. I should hurl you far, far away for everything you've done here. Cakeposter.

Arm yourself!

>>34304086
Anon please just stop, it's not worth it!

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I look at this picture most nights, I think about how well I would treat her. how happy she'd be with me, but I know it'll never happen. I know she'll never ring me up late at night asking for me to drop off her coat in exchange for hugs and kisses.

It's not fair anons, it's not fair.

>Mr Trump also signed a proclamation declaring a national day of patriotism.

GOD DAMMIT WHEN WILL IT BE OUR TURN TO GET A FREE HOLIDAY

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34304172
I'll have his skull open before the yellow ball of day goes up. Mark my words, restraintanon.

i need to study lads but im always so tired. i sleep 12+ hours a day and sometimes cant stay awake for more than 3-4 hours. and occasionally i sleep for 20 hours.

how do i stay awake and alert? ive tried caffiene, modafinil, eating healthy, exercise and vitamin supplements. i cant do anything with my life because all i do is sleep. fucks sake.

Just bit myself.

>>34304301
do you have diabetes? cockblox

>>34304348
He probably does, if he took modafinil and it didnt do anything thats the only thing I can think of.

I took modafinil and cleaned my flat for 18 hours without stopping.

>>34304250
Is that an insect cocoon on her head? Never bitten someone with one of those on their head.

>tfw been shitpisting all night and have only been required to solve 3-4 CAPTCHAS

>>34304348
>>34304381
what, im a severe hypochondriac. this has triggered me.

>>34304433
you might just be weird but honestly id go and have a blood test

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>Talk to friend about drugs while smoking pot
>I mention MDMA
>"Oh I've done mkat too"
>Tell him it's not mkat
>This is the 8th time i've had to tell him the difference between what MDMA and mkat is
>He still continues to forget and thinks MDMA is mkat

Gets maddening bros

>>34304448
i had a blood test, and they said it was fine. but i doubt they were specifically looking for diabetes, but diabetes is pretty common. then again, im a normal weight 20 year old male. not exactly the demographic for it.

>>34304433
Ask the doctor a lot of questions about yourself and answer any that he may have of you in return, but perhaps quietly slip in a quick enquiry about what he thinks about women who wear massive insect cocoons on their head. See what he thinks about that. Or she.

>>34304462
its something else then

>>34304471
>>34304398
ITS NOT A COCOON REEEEEE ITS A PLASTIC BAG SHES PUT ON HER HEAD TO STOP THE RAIN

SHES MY BAGFU HOW FUCKING DARE YOU

>>34304449
your mate sounds like a daft cunt

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>>34304472
>tfw just want to be able to stay awake

>tfw all the wine is gone but the Co-Op is open again now.

Should I risk an adventure all purple-lipped and reeking of bad? The staff suspect everything is wrong.

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What in the fuck is wrong with people

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDdTKGUu0Co

he's not going to blow the world up you daft cunt, now go home

>>34304488
My apologies, sir, but are you sure it's not a giant insect cocoon? It doesn't really remind me of a bag.

>>34304590
She is pure, it is not a coc(k)oon.

Just come off the night shift, need to be awake in eight hours to go back

Gonna see if I can beat the Nioh last chance beta in an hour like a madman

I'm on a rail replacement bus surrounded by migrant laborers sniffing and cuffing. Oh London

Which animal would be best equipped to succesfully steal a box of wine from the Co-Op?

>>34304754
I dare you to go mental. Start making bizarre noises and flap around like some totally strange individual before attacking the driver with crisps. Tell him he's a bus stop, not a bus driver and then jump out the window.

Does anybody ever get the urge to become inexplicable and very strange in crowded public places?

>>34304787
a paki


oriental

>tfw cannot stop writing unusual and totally stupid shitposts because I'm trying to conjure up animal forms using archaic sorcery to steal wine from the Co-Op

Can't let them... see... me.

How mentally ill am I, DWP? Does my activity on /britfeel/ this morning please you?

>>34304570
they have literally been indoctrinated to think that

>tfw you may only correspond with DWP through /britfeel/

>>34305014
I did work experience at the job centre to earn my dole money a couple of years back

It's what I imagine hell is like

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>>34305021
I feel somewhat responsible for the indoctrination process. When Trump was announced as the President elect in November I shitposted on /pol/ telling them that Trump was going to destroy the world with his belief in the climate hoax. Triggered many people, I'm sure there were many such cases. Sad!

However, I really dont give a fuck about Trump, if he's terrible they'll impeach him but let him do his job first before you start sperging out already. It's just fucking childish.

>WAAAAAAAA THE PERSON I DIDNT LIKE GOT VOTED IN
>WAAAAAAAAAA

>>34305070
you can feel better knowing you didn't really have anything to do with this

the media, not just in the us has portrayed trump as a literal nazi, someone who is going to be rounding up and deporting/killing non whites in the us and plans to try and force the world into bowing to his will

hes not anything like that at all but as we have seen in modern times, if the media push a certain narrative, a lot of idiots believe it, though this is starting to crumble which is good

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>>34305045
>WE ARE SORRY, ALL OF OUR LINES ARE BUSY AT THE MOMENT, PLEASE POST YOUR ENQUIRY ON /BRITFEEL/, WHICH WE CONTINUOUSLY MONITOR, AND ONE OF OUR ADVISERS WILL CONTACT YOU SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTTTTLLLYYYYYY

>>34305070
>WAAAAAAAA THE PERSON I DIDNT LIKE GOT VOTED IN
>WAAAAAAAAAA
let's not act like literally every party on each side of a political debate has supporters who would be guilty of this is their preferred candidate didn't win

trump supporters would not have bowed out gracefully if shillary had won

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>>34305103
>CNN still claiming they're not fake news

>>34305126
I think that's inherently wrong. Protestors, were so active during this inaugaration they had to use a water cannon and tear gas, they were setting fires and starting fights.

They also threw shit and piss at Trump supporters. The left is fucking digusting. There are no reports of Trump supporters being arrested currently and so far 217 leftist arrested for rioting.

Thank fuck for some sane posts about current events. There's some right fucking weirdos on here this morning.

>>34305156
that can't be said with certainty because we never saw shillary's inauguration, unless you're capable of seeing into alternate timelines

I think it's naive to claim "your side" would have accepted defeat gracefully when american politics is effectively a sport and the voter base for both sides are effectively rabid fans

>start talking to someone online
>says he is interested in philosophy
>ask him for specifics
>"did you know were all just stardust"

>>34305188
Its all just Chinese Zen mountain anon samefagging because hes drunk and crazy

>>34305200
You're assuming I'm on anyones side. I can't show you an alternative timelines but I can show you what has happened in prior history.

At Obamas inaugaration there were no riots, at George Bush's there were eggs thrown and protestors arrested on the roads as Bush was being driven in by a limo. There's an obvious pattern here and it shows that the left is a dangerous and an insane group of people, where as the right shows restraint.

This is just how it is.

>>34305206
Mindblowing stuff anon.

>>34305206
A more interesting point is that you as a person living right now as been around since the dawn of the universe, you are as old as the universe. No new matter is created all that exists now is all that there will ever be, you are timeless.

BUT YOU ARE STARDUST LAD

>>34305206
i remember i wrote a very autistic post btfo'ing someone in britfeel that was having babbys first existential crisis, i had fun

>>34305282
matter didnt exist at the start of the universe, it was far too dense and hot

>>34305301
shit where did the matter come from lad?

>>34305286
I remember that. You tried to btfo that anon, but did you? I'm not so sure.

>google iceland opening times
>loads up opening times for derby
>cant help but think of derbyanons in britfeel

YOU ARE NOT ALONE LADS
I THINK OF YOU

>>34305286
>tfw the atoms were pretending to be James Joyce and we all just believed stardust

>>34305301
You could say.............

the whole universe was in a hot, dense state

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>>34305349
SCIENCE!

originalio

>>34305319
i definitely did lad, i doubt he slept that night

>>34305360
You're a faggot stop this .

>>34305403
Are you triggered? :^)

original salt

>>34305378
Emergent phenomenon in the furry crosshairs of atoms holographic stardust not even one free beer

>>34305435
are you gay?

oriental

>>34305432
No just some fat roastie who fell in love with me used to watch this whenever she came round to mine.

i moved away from her and she still texts me too this day that she loves me and misses me
I despise her but only put up with her for the blowjobs
they were shit

>>34305378
ALL MASSIVE DORMANT PINKWORM HAHA VISHNU STOPPEND

GOING DOWN TO ICELAND LADS TO GET SOME COCA COLA SO MY DIABEETIES KICKS IN QUICKER

WISH ME LUCK

>>34305457
Are you "you?"

Mindblowing atoms inside James Joyce starpart

>>34305482
>Are you "you?"

Deeper than his flicked through ontology textbooks fuck me you got him there so you did

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MY FUCKING SIDES LADS HOLEEE SHIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0DpzbrX8CM

PEPE!

PEPE!!!

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>>34305482
are the pixels in this picture real? does the aesthetic of the picture, which is greater than the sum of the pixels have a causal relationship with the universe? maybe aesthetic is the missing contiguous process of causality, in an object oriented ontology.

I've spent most of the last 2 days asleep. I feel fucking horrible.

>>34305530
Well that cheered me up, thank you anon.

>>34305568
Go outside, m8. You'll feel better within 20 minutes.

Trust me.

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>>34305556
R the papuals in this punter reel? Mung the arsethesis of thar malmont, myth ith grumlith than the smut of pastels manc a cadence rachel mick the university? Maymay arsefurlong ing them missiles contagious program if cornelius, in an abstract oriental philosophy

>>34305530
lol that smile from Laboufe at the end

>>34305654
I just went outside for a cig. Cold as fuck. If anyone remembers/cares I was the anon that was doing heroin all last week. My brain/body just crashed out I guess.

>>34305687
i was told listening to african rhythm drums and doing heroin is the best sensation in the world, please test that hypothesis for me

>>34305707
>listening to african rhythm drums
Sounds really boring desu. I mostly just watched pro wrestling and trolled on fb. I'm not gonna buy anymore now anyway.

>>34305707
>rhythm drums

Drums don't have any rhythm.

Why shouldnt I smoke weed everyday if \i dont have any friends and my life is shit and women hate me

>>34305339
>derby
saw a black person for the first time in derby after travelling there from scotland. the place was like Oblivion with all the different races, place seemed ok but i wouldnt go back to england

>>34305339
derbyanon reporting in, how many of us can there be?

>at mates house yesterday
>he makes me a cub of freshly ground Ethiopian coffee
>make my morning cuppa'
>may as well be baby sick now

I have never given a shit about coffee before, and never wish to again.

>>34305805
Cant think of any reason. Thinking of getting into weed since I've been mostly sober for a year and still feel like shit anyway,

mummy is angry today, woke her up playing music again. dumb bitch should be awake by now desu its half 8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQfidTOTsLo

>oneitis having normie relationship problems
>obviously want them to break up
>Too much of a spaz to understand what the fuck the issue is though
>she lives a hundred miles away anyway

>>34306089
>women
hmmmmmmmmm

So the internet has finally broken through to Presidency, what do you think the next 4 years in Clapistan will look like from now on lads? Tempted to move there if I could.

>>34306136
Internally I think things will be good (business, immigration etc). But I imagine his whole 'we're gonna wipe radical islam off the face of the earth' idea is going to fall flat on it's face.

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Post your desktop lads lets see how each of us live

>>34306235
>his whole 'we're gonna wipe radical islam off the face of the earth' idea is going to fall flat on it's face.
how so?

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>>34306299
Here you go senpai
origonononoo

>>34306332
>pia
>utorrent
other than that decent lad, how many bitcoins you hoarding?

>>34306309
As long as Islam exists in it's current form, radical extremists will exists. Plus he'd have to wipe out Saudi Arabia which America will never do.

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>>34306299

nxt lvl orgnal

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>>34306299
pretty standard here lads

mega drive 4 lyf

>>34306360
>how many bitcoins you hoarding?
Not many. I keep spending them on drugs.

>>34306430
sweet I just invested in a mining service, invest 1k and you start making profit after 2 weeks, nets like 400 quid a month IIRC

>>34305237
>Donald Trump
>showing restraint

>>34306451
Investing all my NEETbux into something seems like it could go horribly wrong.

>>34306332
GOLEM GET YE GONE

oriental

>>34305237

Eggs aren't dangerous, slowlad.

>>34306501
have you ever met an egg?

lethal little fuckers

I have a telephone interview for a summer internship on Wednesday and I've zero idea how to prepare

Anyone got any tips?

>>34306565
have a wank during the call and try to make it as obvious as possible. see how long they stay on the phone.

>>34306565
just b urself :^)

also drink a glass of wine before hand, it will counteract your sperg levels

>>34306501
Tell that to the poor cunt on /fit/ who ate five dozen of them.

>>34306565
What's it for? Research the company, ask questions, stand up or at least sit up properly during the call.

>>34306601
I have a dozen egg whites for breakfast every morning. he yolks will ruin your stomach then your toilet.

>Karen poster gets called out for not being British, brings back KentAnon personality to distract

Clever..
But not clever enough

I've still got my eye on you cunt.

>>34306591
>wine
I don't remember the anon saying they was a girl
do 2 yagerbombs

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>>34306659
BEHEAD THOSE THAT INSULT KAREN

Next door have been having what sounds like a bloody conference since half past seven, loud enough to wake me up. Now I've got a hangover and more hours to waste before footie is on. Any recommendations for an easy watching film on netflix?

>>34306685
Enjoying our benefits comrade?

>>34306712
There's some african-run jesus centre right below my flat that puts me through the same shit every Sunday. I want to complain to the council or something but they do it after 7am, so they're technically not violating noise curfew.

>having to travel 2 hours to sell drugs to someone I met on craigslist
These stories always end well.

>>34306309
>trump is going to do something which hasn't been possible for thousands of years

ok

>>34306678
>2 jagerbombs

I don't remember anon saying he was a child.

>>34306309
because the last time a political body decided to try and eradicate a perceived social blight of a people it totally didn't end with decades of guilt tripping and victim complexes, no way, he'll totally be able to wipe out Islam with no societal repercussions

>>34306565
Look them in the eye and give them a firm handshake :)

>>34306623
It's a programming gig at a medical software company. They'll probably ask technical questions and I'm absolutely bricking it at that thought

>>34306929
*cool child

Are you guys subscribed to any magazines?

I bought an old issue of an anime mag on ebay to see if it was any good, it just arrived. I like it well enough, especially for 35 squids for 12 issues. Next bennies day can't come soon enough.

>order some bottles of ale with my online grocery shop
>they explode in transit

REEE fucking careless normie packers just throwing the bottles in among other shit instead of placing them securely so they won't fucking roll around in the van

now I have to actually go out and buy alcohol

can't find a job no matter where i look

should i kill myself

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>>34297482
It's the weekend yaaaaay

Plus only one more week of work then I have the next week off completely

>>34307182
If there's one thing that ruins this board for me, it's weeb shit. Already starting to regret giving this place a second chance and coming back after almost two years.

>>34307214
>triggered by the animeposting but not the normie and reddit tier shit

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my uncle is such a massive fat, useless cunt I swear. He is claiming that he is "having a day off" because he needs to relax and so won't help my grandmother today with her shopping.

He hasn't worked in over 3 years and spends every single day laying in front of the TV eating. Yeah he really needs a day off. Fuck I wish I could get away with hitting him without causing a huge family fallout.

>>34307351

Sounds like he's living the life. No excuse for not helping granny though, tell him he'll miss her when she's gone.

>mummy goes to ikea for the day
>go downstairs on the duvet
>back in bed before she gets home
>living the meme dream

Film Night last night was fucking great.

Really good banter and a really good bunch of lads. Was annoying to have to download a script but it didn't take long.

>>34307351
I was going to write a post supporting him and saying he has the right idea for comic effect but I can't even bring myself to do it.

>Doesn't work
>Having a day off

Doesn't even make sense. What a cunt.