>feel like a pathetic piece of shit >start biking and lifting

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>feel like a pathetic piece of shit
>start biking and lifting a lot for a few months
>eventually manage to convince myself in the mirror I'm now 7/10, possibly even 8/10
>confidence is maxed out like never before
>want to increase it even further
>record video of self shirtless from various angles I'm otherwise never able to look at myself from, so I can review and judge my own appearance more accurately
>realize in horror that I'm actually 3.5/10 and this is how everyone else sees me
>realize my shirt has always ridden up on my butt in a weird way I never noticed before that screams "look at my juicy, girly bubble-butt"
>I always thought 5'11" was good enough, but now realize my manlethood looks comically bad from these other angles without a shirt on, especially from directly behind, I look squished and deformed, bad enough that even if I manage to get a gf, she will surely be secretly disgusted and eventually cheat on me simply because of this, nevermind all the other things
>finally realize how weird-looking it is that my arms don't unbend all the way, they always have a kink even when relaxed and hanging at my sides, so it always looks like I'm about to grab something, seeing them dangle in this strange position is literally repulsive to look at in a way that's hard to pinpoint, it's like an uncanny valley effect for arms
>nose looks fine straight-on, but looks like a disgusting witch hooknose from the side (because I was attacked and my head was kicked into the cement face-first thus breaking my nose a few years ago and it healed in a bad way). I never knew how bad my nose actually looked until now
>cannot unsee all these disgusting features of my body
>confidence will never be restored again
>his smile and optimism: gone, forever
I miss the blissful ignorance of yesterday