REMINDER: IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WITH BPD READ

yeah, fuck personaI responsibility

This is where i think i fucked up. I am willing to put in the work now because I know. Its a shame its too late and probably always was. :'(

When a BPDer loses their shit at you literally all you have to do is be affectionate, tell them they don't have to do what they're doing and reassure them that you love them

Or at least I think that's how it goes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXXUAEvbW9o&t=613s

This will be your future.
Do not do it.

>>34277332

Thanks, I don't think I want to date a mentally ill person, though. I want undamaged children.

>>34277332

Are you seeing someone ? A borderline without any treatment can't have any sane relationship anon.

I've had a borderline girlfriend.

>>34277411
No it's not.
This will result in stuff like "you don't really think that", "you're trying to manipulate me", "oh, don't try to get out of this now" or them reverting back to victim status and rejecting your affections, ie "i'm not worth you loving me", "why don't you just leave me", "i should just kill myself", and probably some self-pity self-harm behaviors, suicide "attempts" etc.

This is not the situation you want to be in. These are good for lustful flings if that is your thing. Not a stable, committed relationship. Your needs will never be the priority. You will be exhausted and repeatedly abused emotionally, verbally, and possibly physically.

>>34277411
See, the bad part about this is they don't always "lose their shit" it depends on the person, BPD comes in different forms, some BPD sufferers isolate themselves from their SO instead of confronting them, mostly with ones trying to recover because they believe they will be too overbearing or pushy.

>>34277480
I am in a relationship, I'm being treated for BPD currently. I'm just struggling with trying to reach out to the person i'm with. They know I have BPD but I don't think theyve looked into it at all and I'm terrified of losing them so I'm scared if I share my worries they will reject me

What happens when men and women who are diagnosed with BPD become romantic with each other?
I feel like I can build a good relationship

>>34277332
Sooo where do I read up on this?

>>34277332

BPD is literally one of the worst mental illnesses to have, especially for women. People with BPD are irrational, insecure, and insane. WHY would I wanted to be with someone that crazy when I could easily find someone whole?

Why would I even bother?

>>34277891
Suicide threats and then great makeup sex at least once a week

>>34277891
Feel like they'd have a constant pity/victim competition with the other, along with who is more of a martyr and end up resenting each other and continuously be dysfunctional.

>>34277942
It may be a tragedy, but I think that it could be a comedy

why would I want to be with someone with BPD

manipulative assholes

>>34277995
Yes. This is a calm analysis.
However, I think that there is a case that they can give good chemical reaction to each other

>>34278221
I don't think so.
If not anger, I think they would react to the other person's sadness/pity/victim behavior with the self-deprecating "oh god, I caused this, they'll hate me, I can't fix them, I'm the worst bf/gf, why aren't they happy with me?" sort of mindset.
I really think they would feed into each other and exasperate each other unless they were both highly self-aware and knowledgeable on their condition and receiving therapy to aid in that self-awareness and knowledge.

>>34277911
Google, choose any legit psych website.No tumblr-esque aesthetic BPD trash

>>34277609

Buy them a book or make them read a good article on the subject.
They have to learn how to deal with a bpd. If there are efforts from both sides everything will be fine anon.

>>34278274
I know a case where a patient diagnosed with BPD and a normal person had a deep relationship. This was really hell.

I was diagnosed as BPD before, but from another doctor I was diagnosed as not BPD.

>>34278475
I can't think of any relationship where a BPD person would do well.
Maybe with NPD?
Aspergers doesn't seem right either.
Honestly, I think they are probably doomed to casual sex/hookups and fleeting relationships unless they have some serious transformative therapy.

>>34278470
I have fucked up with them before my diagnosis (cheated because im an idiot) so i feel out of line asking anything from them

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>>34277332
Did my ex have bpd?

She told me that she loved me two months after we dated. Then when I went back home to visit my parents one weekend she was pretty upset about me being away from her and she started dating someone else when I came back.

She continued to text me once a month for the next few months telling me that she missed me only to ignore me the next day.

She eventually stopped texting me for about two years and then she sent me pic related a few months ago only to go back to ignoring me a few days later.

It seems like mental illness runs in her family since her mother tried to kill her when she was young and her brother was homeless/jobless with some kind of mental disorder.

>>34278552
It will be so if unless each other strives to recover completely

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>>34277332
>tfw borderline male
>tfw extremely manipulative and self centered
>tfw sculpt people into acting exactly the way I want

Such a comfy disorder. Even the jealous rage fills me with a sense of purpose and a feeling of being truly alive. It's pure ecstasy.

>>34278558
cont.
Im afraid i might not be worth the effort and be dropped as soon as i bring up that i might be somewhat high maintenance.

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>tfw you have BPD
>tfw seeing all the recent attention on it on /r9k/ and people treating you as desirable

Just kill them.
They are mentally ill subhumans.

>>34278603

"You always do x" is something many abusive people say.

"We don't have to be anything, but I miss you" combined with all the talk of how unhappy she is, all the things she misses about you, etc. is classic emotional manipulation to guilt you into trying to "save" her or belief you are at fault for her reactions and feelings, rather than her being responsible for herself.

"I have no excuses, except I do" typical "nothing I do is wrong, it is always justifiable". BPD individuals will never do wrong. They are always the victim of someone else, circumstance, etc. and any wrongdoing the have done is not wrong at all, because they were "forced" in some manner.

"I don't deserve you" is absolutely CLASSIC self-deprecating BPD behavior in order to bait you into comforting them and giving them a sense of intimicy and affection (and to trigger this feeling in you to), which helps their low sense of self worth.

"I hope you are happy" repeated in here to show what a nice person she is, although the main point of this post is not that. It is to guilt you into returning to her, to comfort her, and to show you how unhappy she is. Your happiness is not the focus of this. That is a garnish thrown in to try to make her look selfless.

"Please consider doing so" and instructing you to do something, as if you do not have your own agency and ability to do this on your own. A more normal/sane wording would be something like "If you'd like to be friends/involved/whatever again, I'd really enjoy it." The sane individual is up front about their own needs. They do not need to disguise t heir wants as a favor to you.

This isn't very extreme, but there are mild BPD flags all over it. I'd doubt she's the super dramatic sort, but could escalate.

>>34278603
>tells you she loves you
>gone one weekend
>dates someone else

bpd or not, that's disrespect I would not put up with

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>>34277422
i had a girlfriend that i lived with that was exactly like this...
getting out of there was the probably one of the better decisions I made in life.
this shit brought back a floodgate of bad memories, her mannerisms, the way she would just yell the same shit over and over....
it is uncanny.
shiiiieeeeet.
thanks for spoopin the poop outta me all over again anon.

>>34278879
Yeah, I grew up with a mom like this.
I recognize the behaviors very well and always tell people to just get the fuck away from them. Even friendship with them isn't worth it.

Any person will have a diagnosis of some kind of names of diseases.
The name of disease ties a person.
Humans have the ability to overcome it