I fucked up, /v/

I was gonna to make an extremely edgy post in response because you're a degenerate. But I can't do it

czech this 4

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If your dad is a conservative, just tell him you want to rape her gay away.

>>34271511
Ello luv. cava-BRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWAPPPPP

>Dad goes through your private stuff then leaves
cool parent

>>34271511
this is the fate of a fanfic writing aspie

Tell your dad an Anon on /v/ said, "it's just porn chill out nigger".

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>>34271511
>not bothering even changing tab, opening different program etc. regardless of home alone just in case

learn from your mistake

why the holy fuck are you still living at home past 18?

>>34271511
i still can't believe they are trying to pass her off as a lesbian. From what I've seen where I'm from, she's not nearly fat or cocky enough to be a clitbanger.

>not locking your computer every time you get up
You're retarded

underageb&

You're underage and deserve it for being stupid.

>>34271516
Mm yeah more pls

>>34271521
>past 18
>implying

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>>34271511
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGÀGAGFAHAHAHAJJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHBAHHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAHAGAHAGAGÀFAGAGAJAHAHAJJAJJAJAJAJ

remind your dad he had to have sex at least once to conceive you, and if he says he never masturbated he's fucking lying. .

however, if you are the "rein's nazi cock" anon, i hope he comes back and takes a shotgun to your face. your writing is of really poor quality.

>>34271511
That's what you get for being degenerate.

>>34271511
The only option is to kill yourself

So wait a minute

You create and consume heterosexual pornography

I'd be fine with that if I was your dad desu

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When I was a kid, my dad used surveillance software on my computer to catch me looking at furry porn. But it's all alright now, because he burned his house down and died after my mom left him. There's no one left who knows my secrets.

>>34271513
You mean this 4?

Post your fanfic.

>>34271511
>I'm scared shitless my dad is gonna kill me or something.
whats the issue hear

>>34271527
if you are not over 18 you are not to be on 4chan get out

>>34271511
you are the only person to ever be caught with porn ever. I don't know how you'll cope

>>34271534
No, this one.

>tracer
Shit taste, no wonder your dad is disappointed.

>>34271537
Exactly. There is no way OP is an adult.

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check em

>>34271533
That is a CUTE KITTY

you know tracer is gay right OP? she wouldnt touch you

>>34271539
This one?

>>34271540
Never played OW, but this board had several Tracer threads an hour leading up to release. As soon as the game dropped, it was all Mercy threads. Weird.

>>34271541
Then he should b& for breaking Global Rule 2.

>>34271521
There's always that one guy

>>34271511
>plot twist
> he thought you found his fanfic porn folder
>he also has a copy of your fanfic saved in it

>>34271545
No, this one.

Your dad is problably just a D.Va fag, bring it up tonight at dinner and tell him why he has shit taste

Ask him for editorial advice on your fanfic. Tell him you want a deeper relationship with him.

get ready to burn in hell for being a sinner OP
I hope your dad whips you until you bleed you goddamn degenerate

>>34271546
SJWs put so much stock into Mercy for some reason when she is by far worst girl and she barely gets posted, it's great.

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>>34271550
4

>>34271511
That's what you get for liking a shitty character.

Also check my zero.

>>34271511
>writing straight porn of a lesbian character
You've brought this misery upon yourself.

>>34271555
Come on, he clearly meant this 4

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>>34271511
This isn't even a problem.

Also you are obviously underage.

Also this is made up pasta.

But whatever, all you gotta do is convince him you were trolling. Tell him about all the waifu bullshit with overwatch and explain how funny you think it is when people freak out because they see or hear their favorite waifu being tainted.

You are just teasing nerds.

If he asks about the story tell him it is copy pasta like the whole "what did you say about me you little bitch" posts.

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>>34271555
Y'all are b4d at this g4ame

>>34271547
I agree
If this were 200í this thread would already be dead.
I haven't seen
>USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
In a long time

>>34271511
Don't worry about it anon, while your dad is a bit shhok up, he probably loves you and isn't going to kill you when he comes home from what I assume is his favorite bar.

He'll probably just kill himself instead.

>>34271533
I did the same thing to my 12yo little sister once, she used my computer every time I left the house.

She was writing Harry Potter male pregnancy porn.

>>34271511
Wouldn't your dad give you a high five in this situation?

It doesn't really matter though everyone faps and does nasty shit in their own room. You're dad shouldn't have a problem with this since you're an adult already.

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>>34271560
check this 4.

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>tfw my dad was a turbo jock who joined the army, got fucked in 'nam, came home, got spat on, did drugs, hung out with bad crowds, developed trust issues and violent tendencies, and one day calmed down long enough to start a family
>can never tell if he's happy i didn't end up like him or disappointed that i'm not "living life"

>>34271558
holy shit, you guys gotta lern maths, this is a fucking 4

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>Even wrote a fanfic about her getting fucked by Reinhardt

You keep my pure angel away from your shit fanfics, faggot.

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5

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>>364662809

>>34271567
Sick 5 brah, now check this 4

WAIT A MINUTE

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WROTE THE RAPEFIC WHERE HE RAPES HER AND YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT HIS OLD NAZI DICK OR SOMETHING

>>364662809
you can get banned even if this is a joke, so enjoy your ban

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Why do I feel I was the literal only anon in the world who never wrote a fanfic in his life of any kind?
At most I'd use a notepad document to pretend to play as a good Pokemon trainer with the cool mons since I sucked at the real game.

>>34271537
>let me tell you how moot wasn't allowed to post on his own website for three years after he made it

>>34271572
here's the 4 fellas

Raised lettering

Pale Nimbus

Eight

Fuck off LARPer
Saged

>>34271521
How the fuck do you even get a house to yourself? Shit seems impossible how expensive everything is and there's so many bills.

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if 5 I'll post horse cock

>>34271577
thats a 9 retard
here is your 4

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g3t my 3

>>364662809
REKT

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This is a copy pasta thread guys.
It's aways easy to get.
ZERO, see?

>>34271580
you get room mates

they dont give a fuck what you are into

>>34271576
look at global rule number 2 idiot

>>34271576
Jesus Christ what a newfag you are

>>34271580
Get a good job

>>34271563
I can't even pretend to be above that. I've got off to all kinds of fucked up shit. I don't think it really matters what people jerk it to.

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>>34271579
do you even know what the fuck is a LARP, do you even fucking know how the fuck saging works?
holy shit.

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Check this 5

>>34271511
Dad's a faggot if that bothers him.

>>34271575
I write a lot of pony fanfics hundreds of Anons read in fimfic. You should try it, it's really fun.

>>34271582
fore

>>34271521
>Not living with your parents until you're around 25 and are able to buy your own house without resorting to retarded/unnecessary loans that you won't be able to pay off and haunt you for the rest of your life and your children
Wow but its definitely worth it to loom mature

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>>34271595

nice blog post

>>34271588
Shit ain't possible until after college.

>>34271596
This is my plan desu, and its working perfectly.

>have 50000 saved up

Oh yesssss

>>364662809
And surprise, surprise you are a dumb frogposter.

>>34271596
>loans for a rental property

i have never taken a loan in my life and i am 30

>>34271600
I didn't even go to college and I make almost 6 figures

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>>34271598

>>34271604
how

btw, that's not how human body proportions work

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>>34271563
>be kid
>have a slightly older sister
>sometimes I look at boobies on the computer
>don't even go to porn sites, just softcore thumbnails of shit
>make sure I delete history every time I leave
>everything is fine
>sister has limewire on it plus tons of fujoshit yaoi porn
>computer takes a shit from something she downloaded recently
>blames me because she SUSPECTS I did something
>parents don't listen to her because she's always bitching
I like breasts.

>>34271601
>50k
good job anon, only 250k left for a decent sized home.

>>34271511

That's what happens when you play Overwatch, hope it was worth it anon.

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Im sorry anon

If 2, your dad will pray to the lord and forgive you

>>34271603
Renting is dogshit
I'm trying to save to build my own piece of shit house so I don't have to worry about the condition some previous fuckhead left it in

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>>34271511

>get home
>read some fanfic
>flee my own house in panic

>>34271606
Job training and luck

>>34271605
That's a funny looking PS3, it looks a lot like a 4

>>34271511
hes gonna kill you in your sleep or worse, i wouldnt be alone with him until youre like 30

>>34271511
Tell your dad that you think you might be gay but somehow this video game girl is making you hard, so in order to not fall into homosexuality, you've been using Tracer as a way to revert back into being a heterosexual.

>>34271511
Repent you fucking homo. And start going to church.
No need to say anything to him, a man's actions are the only thing that counts.

>>34271613
>save to build my own house

good luck with that i guess

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>>34271616

>>34271615
what job? I'm tired of fucking school

>>34271616
4 is disabled in this thread

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I-Is OP still alive?

>>364663719
oh my

>>34271621
Checked that 4 bitches >>34271623

>>34271622
I'm a software QA engineer

>>/v/364663999
mod what the fuck? I fianlly got a 4

>>34271622
>wants a good job
>doesn't want to go to school

just play the lottery, im sure the odds are in your favor :^)

>moving the thread instead of banning underage OP
YOU HAD ONE JOB

>>34271576
who is this moot you speak of? I have no idea

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>/r9k/
AAAAAAHAHAHAHA

>>>/v/364663999
Also, checked.
Good trips.

>>34271660
you have to do it like this
>>>/v/364663999

>>34271511
>/v/ mod moves it to r9k instead of banning it
>the /r9k/ mods have to deal with it now

pottery

>>34271690
>mod, give me back my 4

4

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>>34271578
you fairy godmather

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>Moved to r9k
>Mod gets impossible trips

WEW.

>4chan x doesnt show deleted posts anymore
any reason to keep this shit installed...?

>>34271511
He's right to be mad, I'd be furious if I found out my son had such a shit tier waifu as well

>>34271578
>>34271716
>originally gets a 5 in the /v/ thread
>gets an 8 here
Noice.

>>34271511
Why do parents seem to think it is just ok to go through their kids' computers? It's like the modern, even worse equivalent of going through a diary. Your dads the one in the wrong here, as if he doesn't watch porn.

Although, you should always tab out or turn off your screen when afk. Anyway, what's the deal, is your dad especially authoritarian? What's he gonna do, do you think?

>>34271694
I test an application for living room devices. Smart TVs, consoles, Roku, etc.
It's fairly easy but requires a certain mindset.

A common interview question is, how would you test this pen?
You have to think of stuff beyond make sure it writes.

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>>34271591

>implying you leave your little hug-box

Oh am i a laughin

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>>34271511
HAHAHA THE PRICE OF YOUR DEBAUCHERY IS AT HAND, PREPARE TO BE SEEN AS A FUCKING FREAK BY YOUR FAMILY FOREVER!

>>34271579
>calls someone out for LARPing
>doesn't know what LARPing is

newfag scum pls leave

>see /v/ in the OP
>why the fuck is this thread on r9k
>mod being a asshat
Thanks Trump.

>>34271741
>off topic
>on a board that has no specific topic
That's pretty retarded my man, also pretty sure bestiality is b& on here

>>34271511
>I fucked up, /v/ Anonymous 01/19/17(Thu)15:03:36 No.342


youre gonna have to fuck your dad ok anon

>>34271797
>he voted for shillary
People like you are the reason America isnt great

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In case anyone was wondering what my dad saw.

>>34271799
It includes a lot of planning and leadership skills, and enough tech skill to be able to understand how the code works.
I do live in a high cost area, but the company I work for actually pays everyone a good wage with great benefits. We have offices all over for various things. It helps that it is not a corporation.

>>34271608

>have done this exact same shit and i'm a full grown man

So does anybody know the going rate for a gallon of bleach these days, I literally own no white clothes and I need it immediately to end my li-........do special laundry.

>>34271843
*publicly traded corporation
We don't answer to shareholders.

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>>34271809
wow I am afraid

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>>34271799
Suicide is always an option, have you considered walking through an urban zone with a John McClane cosplay on?

More horse cock plis

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>>34271838
>it's not a twist on "Thanks Obama"
Stop getting triggered you dummy.

>>34271840
The things he would see if he went on MY computer... this shit is tame. If my dad saw this he'd probably just joke at me (he wouldn't snoop in the first place).

But if my dad saw what I do have, he'd fucking disown me, your dad'd probably crucify me.

lots of loli & shota

>>34271888
/v/ is in a constant state of triggered
So is /r9k/, now that I think about it.

>>34271888
If I can't do it then neither can Tumblr, I want equal rights NOW

>>34271906
It's very easy to trigger and bait r9k sadly. You can just say you're a girl with no proof and get a ton of dick pictures. This place is a faggots wonderland.
>>34271919
>knowing what Tumblr cares about
Why do you know that anon? Care to share something with the thread?

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Drive safe, pupper

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>>34271511
>Stay completely still
lmao

>>34271511
>What the fuck do I do
Grow up. I'm not even joking.

>>34271855
people put condoms on horses? lel

>>34271970
>Care to share something with the thread?
They made me make an account so that I could visit white supremacist blogs and some of the more risque pornographs.

>>34272063
Degenerates do.

>>34272063
thas a dog dick mate. Horse cocks are way better.

OP here,

Shit is about to hit the fan. My dad came home about 5 minutes ago with a few of his ex-marine buddies. They sound so fucking pissed. I put my ear against the door and heard words like "rape," "tackle" "freak"

The only real full sentence I heard was

"don't hurt him too bad"

I'm fucking scared, guys. Like I said, my dad is a 0 tolerance conservative. I have my window cracked in case I need to jump.

I should be able to stick the landing without serious injuries, I have a car but it's blocked in by my dad's big ass truck

What do I do if/when I'm on the ground and in full flight mode?

>>34272119
You think you're an expert on animal penises now?

>>34271877
Wait wasn't there a girl who posted horse cocks and her doing things to horse cocks on snapchat?

Still OP,

I started lathering myself up with the lube I have in my room in case they barge in while I'm still here so I can slip away.

Wish me luck,

>>34272130
post pics tbqh

>>34271843
Almost 100k ?
That's pretty nice for QA.
How much do the code monkeys earn, and is there a high demand ?

>>34272130
Man up and fight back pussy, quick use the time you have to learn kickboxing or something online

Update from OP:

I'm going to strip down naked and enter the room with my hands raised. Hopefully by doing this they don't rough me up too bad but if you don't hear back from me they probably have me dressed up in girls clothes locked in a cage somewhere

Wish me luck

OP here again,

I've soiled myself in preparation for their attack, hopefully the won't touch me now.

I'm ready

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>>34272130
Pull your pants down, bend over, and tell your dad "forgive me father I have been a really bad boy". Then he'll probably be so erected from the sight of your boipussy he'll take you then and there or he'll just beat the shit out you. Either way it's a win for me.

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REAL OP here

No time left, heard bootsteps coming.

Gootta jump.

Bye, guys.

>>34271526
Lil dookie eatin ass boy

>>34272237
We don't have code monkeys here. Everybody's a full time employee except for two people (QA contractors)
Software devs make on average $120k in salary.

>>34271511
stop being faggots? why does everyone get caught in this shit? even when home alone I lock my computer and turn off the screen when going to the toilet. and its not even far from my room its right next to it. you guys need to be more paranoid like me, and also hide your porn folders.

>>34271898
>But if my dad saw what I do have, he'd fucking disown me, your dad'd probably crucify me.
If anyone ever finds my stache, I'm just straight up killing myself.
There's no recovering from how people would view me after that.

>>34272380
You just move elsewhere

>>34272130
Call the police. Who are they going to arrest? The father and his violent pack of friends who were about to commit assault or the retard son who watches porn?

>hurr my son watched porn this is le intolerable

That'd be his only defense. He could mention raaaaape, but it's fictional, so who cares?

>>34272296
ACTUAL REAL OP here, I heard boot steps and I'm now setting on my bed with my dad's hunting rifle

>>34272456
Put it in your mouth and pull the trigger

>>34272402
>/r9k/ loser
>no money or job
>no ability to make friends

yeah, that'd go over well. Also, the only thing keeping me from killing myself is my parents who are delusional and care about me for some reason. If they found it, they'd immediately realize what a disgusting, vile creature i am, and then i could end my life without making them feel bad

>>34272499
Just pack up your shit and start walking, nigga

>>34272456
>wait until he comes in
>look him in the eye
>say "cheers, luv" as seductively as you can

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Okay guys, I'm back
Ignore those thread stealing fucks-legit OP is here, and alive.

After I jumped from the window I heard my door break open, after I landed on the ground I sprinted as fast as I could to my friend's house.
He let my use his computer to relay to you guys that I'm fine, and sorry for spamming my shitty fanfic over the past few weeks.

Will update again soon. Really out of breath right now.

>>34272702
God-speed anon

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>>34271614
underrated post

[laughed audibly]

Anybody else most disturbed by the fact that Tracer has incredibly bad posture in this pose?

>This entire thread

please tell me someone is taking screen grabs of this shitshow

>>34272833
More like i'm disturbed that he writes straight Tracer fanfic when she's openly lesbian (confirmed by devs).

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>>34272702
It's 2017 for fuck's sake. People who get turned on by used up cheerleaders on football sidelines but can't handle cartoon porn should just be shoot.

Please, someone lurking or not needs to screengrab this.

>>34272986
Why don't you do it you little shit?

>>34272986

I don't have photoshop you fucking autist.

>>34271511
Tell your dad you fapped to bdsm characters of a cartoon character because you'd never do that or want to see that happen to a real human bean and that it's nothing serious. If he just saw pics then you're fine. You're a man jacking off is normal lmao.

>>34272702

Hello, OP here

It's been a few hours since I ran for my life. I've decided to hunker down at my friends for a few weeks. Shoutout to everyone who stuck it through with me.

I'm tired guys, I'm hitting the sack

OP, out.

>>34271511
tracer is bae.
fuck your dad, if i were you i'd remove him from your life.

>>34271575
probably because youre too dumb to know how to write anything longer than a few paragraphs

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Doesn't matter anon, he's not coming back after seeing that shit.

>get home from long day of work
>silently go straight to sons rooms
>rifle through all winds and open random folders, clearly looking for porn
>leave without saying a word
What is wrong with parents? This isn't the first time something just like this has happened. I've heard this happen at least a dozen times.

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Behold.

The birth of a screencap

>>34274596
none of this fucking happened you stupid nigger
none of those are even op except for the first one
go the fuck back 2 reddit

>>34274704

No fucking shit, dumbass. They are reactions to his stupidity.

He then posted his Tracer profile, then supposedly jumped out his window, where he fled to his friends house

Fucking tard it's not that hard to follow

>>34274704

And if you weren't stupid you could match up his pics to his folder.

Not that hard, dipshit.

>>34274761
>>34274804
I'm saying none of the faggots claiming to be op are actually OP, you paint eating mouth breather
because I'm actually OP, and when my dad and his marine hunks came in I got on my knees and swallowed their cocks until I was covered in jizz
go
back
to
reddit

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>Even wrote a fanfic about her getting fucked by Reinhardt

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>>34271578
>>34271578
>>34271578
checked cheded chedke chekd

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>>34272130
OP you truly are a wordsmith

>>34274596
Fuck right off with this shit.

Cunts like you ruin this site

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>>34271566
>tfw you will never be as based

>>34271540
agreed anon - objectively the flattest ass, also fucking lesbo
zarya is a man so it doesnt count

>>34271610
No one pays for a house all at once. 20% down payment

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>>34271840
My brain stalled for a moment, as I had forgot what Win7 looked like.

Anyway, that is some tame shit anon. At least it's not a folder of Tracer futa SFM.

I once caught my dad going through my trap folder on my laptop, it was an awkward 3 hours. He now knows I like cuteboys and hasn't bothered me about it since.
In my early teen years my mom walked in on me fapping to some hentai and other shit at least three times before she learned to knock.

As long as you aren't showing signs of being a pedo or serial killer, your parents and other people really don't care about what you fap to during your private time.

>>34277010
>As long as you aren't showing signs of being a pedo or serial killer, your parents and other people really don't care about what you fap to during your private time.
that, my dude, depends on who your parents are

>>34277220
Your statement couldn't be more true.

My parents would have sent me back to the stone age throwing out every device I owned if they had ever found out I jacked off to anything while under their roof.

disown your dad for being a conservacuck