/britfeel/

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>>34248906
lads should post their 2D QTs or as some call them their waifus

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>when you post just before the "NEW THREAD" post

>>34248956
lads who post beyond the bump limit deserve a fucking OBE

would any of you lads be up for a britfeel night out? we could find a comfy little pub with only a handful of people in and share a few beers

first rounds on me lads

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Posting waifu for the new thread

>>34249015
Depends where to be quite honest senpai

>>34249015
super tempted if london lads were up for it

>>34249015
I would but apparently that's for normies

>>34249015
If it involves leaving the house then the answer is no

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>>34248946
Can do laddie

Also, really liking these Kurumi posts. I watched Date a Live a few weeks ago, and Kurumi was by far best girl. Generic Main Girl was boring, the Mecha-Girl was pretty funny, but not best girl material, the little one (Yoshinon?) was never really on the table, so to speak, and the sister character was the sister character, and thus made me deeply uncomfortable.

Anyway, point being if I'd watched Date a Live a few years earlier I'd be posting her and not Saber.

But still, Saber's mai waifu, and I'm not some dirty cheater.

Fucking hell that's sad to read back.

>>34249015
Also I'm in Chelmsford and can't really get to London that easily

>>34249015
You failed normie cunts are the last people I would want to drink with.

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>>34248946
3-D is best D

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>>34249077
Me and Kurumi's been going 4 years strong, since the anime aired.

Don't understand how these other fags can post a new waifu every week, only meant to have one

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Reminder real girls > waifus

>>34249015
The pub near me would be good but I live 56 miles from London centre

>>34249147
This tbqh lad. It's weird to think you could just hop from waifu to waifu like that.

The whole thing weirds me out really. Never thought I'd have a waifu, and taking it too seriously makes me remember how sad I am, so I try to avoid it.

But yeah, Kurumi is def best girl

>>34249015

I don't fancy hanging out with a bunch of benders and trannies desu

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>>34248946
>it's an anon gets really drunk to escape reality episode

>>34249178
real girls aren't real though lad

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>>34249268
Yeah, I used to think I'd never have one and when I think about it, it is quite sad but I guess that's the low I've sunken too but it keeps me sane I guess

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>>34249351
Same lad, kindred spirits tbqh

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>>34249015
I would unironically meet up with glasgow anons

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>>34249479
Yeah lad but sorry, maho > kurisu

>>34249432
I agree with you there lad. Don't exactly know if It's helped keep me sane, but hey, I feel better about life. Really don't know why Saber stuck with me over any other. I apparently have a thing for blonde knights. Who knew.

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>tfw wistfully remembering the runescape days
runescape was my life 2004-2007. tried to give the thing a go recently. RS3 is a completely pointless game because there is literally no challenge to anything. OSRS just isn't the same, the sheer man hours required to build up skills is just too daunting, I'm too old to be immersed and excited by it, and there are no players in there anymore.

fuck, lads.. that has left me feeling kind of empty and despondent.

>>34249536
you say that like it's bad thing, but if I had to compete for kurisu I'd be sad

>>34249593
Lol, same for me really

>>34249178
Sauce?

Divock Origi

>>34249624
Just watched The Shining lads

That gay bear scene gave me chills

>>34249653
seen other kubrick lad?

>>34249015
Yeah. We should arrange it for May though since I will be in London anyway.

No bumming though pls.

>>34249606
Fair enough lad. What're you drinking by the way?

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>>34249617
You know what else helped keep me feeling good about life?

The Machine God.

>>34249653
mate I walked in on that scene at the age of 9, slept with the lights on for months

Why do people meet other people? Why do they want to do it? I hate having to meet people, especially new people. I am a massively reclusive hermit.

>>34249685
been out but now im on the budweiser (i like shite lager)

>>34249708
Machine God is love

>>34249674
I've seen Eyes Wide Shut which is awesome, I probably liked that more than The Shining

Full Metal Jacket is good too but I only remember the military training with Private Pile

Haven't watched anything else of his though.

>>34249736
I love shit like this

I watched some stupid Watch Mojo video and it ruined the scene for me

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>>34249768
Good man.

Praise the Omnissiah.

>>34249766
Yeah, I started on kronenbourg and now I've got some Stella that was in the fridge desu.

Shit lager is the best lad. Especially when it's on sale at the COOP if you're a poorfag like me.

>>34249598
just like the rest of your past, it can never again be experienced the way you did back then

be glad you ever got to experience it like that at all

>>34249830
I normally drink Jack and Coke and then do shots of loads of random drinks

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About to start Fate/stay night lads.

As someone new to anime can any of you lads let me know if it is worth it?

twenty is plenty

>>34249860
>jack

can't be doing with that desu but I find vodka and coke to be pretty great.

>>34249897
I drink all sorts up the pub, the bar staff know me for it, also for eating lots of salt and vinegar Pringles and green pepperami when I'm pissed

>>34249884
Saber fag here lad.

Don't bother, read the VN, then watch Fate/Zero. I'd say watch Zero first, but honestly it spoils some shit.
If you're going to watch any of the anime adaptations, watch UBW anime.
Don't watch the UBW movie. Just don't.
Don't watch the F/SN anime. It's shit.

As for the VN, it's fucking great. If you're new to anime, then it might be a bit difficult to get into, but it's definitely worth it. Google Realta Nua, and take it from there. Also, don't worry too much about the sex scenes. They're forced and silly.

I mean, originally, there wasn't going to be a Saber route, as in canon, she sees Shirou as a son, so it's kinda fucked.

>>34249939
Not a pub regular honestly, I'm too self conscious to walk in there myself and it's cheaper to just buy shit from a shop and drink in my bedroom.

>>34250039
And you can play your own music and access anything you want online without a bunch of total normans talking loudly and doing whatever else normans dom

>>34250091
Do*

Original correction

It's bleak being dirt poor.

>>34250014
When I say new, I mean I am brand new and this was recommended by my friend as something to watch.

Almost 100% of what you said there meant nothing. Sorry. Though I appreciate the effort.

Is any of the anime on Netflix worth a go? I have seen the basics of what most would consider normie anime I suppose, yugioh, dragonball, howl's moving castle, spirited away, sailor etc.

Tried high school of the dead, but it did seem very focused on the titty jiggling and the exposed knickers.

Can you recommend some?

>>34250039
I'm know up there as a regular, there's mainly old blokes up there and I talk to them about tech stuff and sometimes trains, they're nice blokes, I know all the regulars and when I walk they all go "ahh look who it is, how ya doing?" And the bar tender starts pouring my usual without me asking

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>>34250161
sounds comfy desu.

oregano comento

>>34250131
In my case it was just as bleak being quite well off. I'm a lot happier and more carefree now that I don't earn much.

>>34249015

If I can get a job, it's located in a North Westerly venue I can access by train and avoid any depressive episodes immediately before the set date, then I'd be up for it. I'd be like a king amongst you scum. I jest.

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>>34250225
It is, there's a log fire up there and a pretty nice pub carpet aswell, probably the best part of my week is going up there, go up there 2-3 times a week, normally get so pissed I can barely walk and leave about 1am

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>>34250148
Hmm... alright.

Well I was introduced to anime with Future Diary. Not sure if it was a great one to start off with. It's pretty violent, and "dark" in the cack-handed way Japs make things dark, that is to say stupidly. But it's the first anime I watched.

Though I would say High School of the Dead is a good one. Though if you're not one for gratuitous tit shots, that could be an issue, as most of anime has gratuitous tit shots, and that's the best part. Also, the Slanty-eyed cunts get that skirts + tights/knee socks is the fetish of patricians.

As for Fate, there used to be a fugg huge chart that showed what to watch and in what order, but I didn't save it, and now I can't find it, but this more or less gets across the same point a little more concisely.

If you'd prefer comedy, I'd go for Konosuba, which is all the shit right now, and is pretty damn good.

If you'd prefer hard sci fi, and I mean diamond fucking hard, go watch Planetes.

Black Lagoon is great if you wanna see people get shot to fuck. And just great in general.

Haiyore: Nyarko-San is fucking hilarious if you've ever had anything to do with the Lovecraft Mythos. It has guy in a love triangle with 3 Lovecraftian Gods.

Hellsing's pretty great.

I personally wouldn't bother watching anime on netflix.

I could keep going for a while, but all the ones I've suggested are among my favorites, and worth a watch, though /a/ may disagree.

If you want to read the Fate VN, which I would recommend, check out the FSN subreddit, which has a guide to installing the VN.

Just came into my own mouth by accident.
>haven't fapped in days
>decide to treat myself and fap naked
>lay down flat on my back
>fire up /gif/ and get to work
>few minutes later its happening
>accidentally point towards my face
>cum shoots out at 100mph
>goes right into my o-face
>hits the back of my throat
>some of it runs down as I get up

Its horrible tasting and I can't stop being sick.

>>34250229
Fair enough. As it is though, I have disability bennies (not the no working ones, the not means tested ones) and the work I have combined with that is just, just enough. Trying to get more hours but they aren't there. May have to get another/ a different job but what with anxiety I'd rather not start the whole thing again. I hate having the threat hanging over me. If only there were more hours and job security. I don't need much but a bit more than this would be nice. 650 a month is not a lot, when 450 goes on rent and bills.

>>34249015
>tfw would love to come out and get wankered with a bunch of autistic neets and wageslaves
>too worried I'd be the oldest one by a significant margin and look like some kind of boyloving woofter

>>34250398
How old is you, lad?

Why do people meet other people? Why do they want to do it? I hate having to meet people, especially new people.

>>34250470
30 on the dot. Can't imagine anyone older than 25 turning up to a robot social.

>>34250398
>>too worried I'd be the oldest one by a significant margin and look like some kind of boyloving woofter

You'd be probably be the most popular lad there.

>>34250495
I like getting to talk to like minded people about things I like and hear different views on them, I rarely talk to others so pub night is nice for me, and keeps me from becoming incapable of talking to others

>>34250502
I'm mid-30s and would never go to a /britfeel/ meetup.

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>>34250381
Fate/stay night blade works is literally the only one on netflix of the series. So I guess I'll give it a miss. High school of the dead was on Netflix but I got two episodes in and they seem to have taken it off.

You said hellsing is pretty great so I'll give that a watch first, not even going to check what it is, jumping in feet first.

Cheers anon. It's hard to ask where to start without someone being a total elitist cock about it. I told some people what I had been recommended a bit ago and all I got was

>muhh edgy anime you don't know what you're doing.

Of course I fucking don't. I am asking for recommendations.

ta again pal. I have saved your comment and am going to work through them.

>>34250502
I'm 19 but get mistaken for a 16-17 year old girl a lot so I can understand your worry

>>34250502
I'm 29 lad and I'll get pissed with you any time.

>>34250148
If you want a non-cliche anime the monogatari series is pretty good, art is amazing aswell

>>34250534
I'm generally fine with becoming incapable of talking to other people.

I've got a pimple, lads ;-;

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never forget, lads

oreganol

>>34250555
No problem, and nice digits.

I've personally never understood the elitism that seems to surround it. The way I see it is that they're treating it like a sekrit klub and being douche-canoes about it.

I'm always more than happy to help suggest things to people. Always seems like an opportunity to -indoctrinate- introduce people to the things I like.

If you ever need more suggestions, I'd be more than happy to help, though finding me might be difficult.

>>34250664
Do you know why they never made an anime series of films about the famous swordsman, Miyamoto Musashi? There is a famous Japanese novel about him and a Manga series called Vagabond. Why don't they make films?

>>34250664
If I need you lad, I shall post looking for Saberfag.

Thanks again. I'm about to kick off Hellsing. My American friend just offered to let me use her crunchyroll premium too. I think that is a good thing.

>>34250734
One of the questions that frequently plagues me:
Why do the nips hate making successful shit?
Like seriously, they seem to just hate money.

Another thing that baffles me:
Why is there not a movie about the Battle for Castle Itter? I've read a book on it and it was cool as fuck. Kind of odd they never made it into a movie.

>>34250777
>crunchyroll

Dunno, never used it. Might be good.

Hellsing is pretty good. Just to clarify; Watch Hellsing Ultimate. I can't vouch for the quality of Hellsing, but the Hellsing Ultimate dub is God's gift to man.

So, Hellsing Ultimate, watch the dub.

>>34250777
Kissanime's good

>>34250778
On a related note to cool shit not getting movies it deserves, why is Master and Commander the only film like Master and Commander? We really need more films about hard men on wooden boats.

>>34250834
>Hellsing Ultimate
Just started it. That was the one I found incidentally. English dubbed,

Gonna get comfy with a cuppa and a cigarette and watch now lad. Hugely appreciate the help.

>>34250892
>Kissanime

Thanks anon!

>>34250906
I've gotten some hard wood on a boat before. Why haven't they made a film about me?

In all seriousness you're right though. It's an untapped and potentially ripe market.

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>>34248946
Posting her.

Can't believe I woke up at 4pm today and I can't believe a neighbours kids were outside on the landing howling like fucking dogs for ages this evening.

>>34250398
>>34250502
I know your feels mate. I'm 30 myself, would never go to a meet up mind, but I can imagine it feeling pretty awkward what with there being early 20s/late teens being a good part of the majority.

Even posting here and on 4chan in general I'm starting to feel those awkward feels like I'm starting to be a little too old or out of place, you know?

>>34250922
No problem lad. You might want to set aside a day or two for Hellsing. It's pretty long.

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>>34250974
>english dub
>two minutes in and they are talking about Chedder in England
>one of the guys has already said bollocks.

Love it

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>>34248946
>tfw not tired at all despite having barely slept
Please just let it end, lads. It feels like I'm dying. I'll try fapping before I sleep to see if that changes anything. Post sad pandas

>>34251137
Yeah, Hellsing really doesn't have the same effect subbed. It'se about as British as anime can get.

And it gets better. Glad to hear you're enjoying it, but I'm off to bed now, so I hope you continue to enjoy it. If you watch it all, you could try the abridged too.

>>34250954
>Even posting here and on 4chan in general I'm starting to feel those awkward feels like I'm starting to be a little too old or out of place, you know?
I know that feel. I'm becoming more consciously aware that the majority of people I'm shitposting at are probably a bunch of teenagers like I was when I first got here. Now I'm a tired thirty-something and feel like I should probably know my day is long past, but I just can't seem to leave.

I didn't get drunk tonight.

>>34251371
Why not?

Oregonala

>>34251243
>>feel like I should probably know my day is long past, but I just can't seem to leave.

I know what you mean. I've tried to leave in the past but I always end up coming back. It may be a meme but it's true, you're here forever. Not only that, this place is the most social interaction I get.

>>34251464
I drank 5 bottles of red wine last night, and have been drinking very heavily all year. I'm going to stop.

>>34248906
Bumping for real "forgot to pick up my trazadone script and now I'm fucking wide awake at 2.26am" hours.

Evening, all. Can anyone find this with English subtitles?:

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt4076856/

It's on YouTube but the subtitles are hardcoded Dutch. I really, really need to see it.

>>34251598
Told myself I'd stop as well but fuck it.

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>>34249015
I'd be down for that but not if people call me a normie if I accidentally enjoy myself

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>>34251870
The fags on here who calls everyone a normies for having a single freind or going to the pub are just butthurt that they can't do it themselves so try to make the others feel bad and themselves feel better

I worked out that I have about 120 quid per month after expenses. That's good, right?

>>34251981
Enough to go up the pub and get mildly drunk each week

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>>34251932
their missing out, there is nowhere more comfy than your own local pub

>>34251981
It's crap (depending on what's included in your expenses and how much those expenses are) but if you can survive on that and you're happy why pursue more?

>>34252013
>their

>>34251981

Are you saving?

>>34252001
I don't drink or eat out. Want to try and save something. How does it compare to average do you reckon?

>>34252038
I include bills, rent, food, phone bill, gym membership in expenses. So it's what I have disposable.

>>34251981
It's okay. See if you can get it up. That's about what you should expect to see in returns if you're operating on a tight minimum wage budget after all bills and rent, living responsibly.

Don't be one of those subhumans who blow it on booze then whine about the powers that be keeping them down.

Put it into savings for when shit hits the fan, get to about 1-1.5k.

>>34252013
>their

But they can probably spell.

>>34252045
No. In effect, if I do nothing all month then I could save that which is what I want to do.

>>34252076
I actually had a windfall so I have 3500 saved.

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>>34252082
>>34252045
sorry lads, it's pretty late. I'll come back when I'm awake and can spell properly

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>Try getting an early night
>Sleep from 11 until 1
>Been staring at the dark ceiling ever since, trying to go back to sleep
>Have a meeting with a wageslave agency at 11am, for a job that would be 6AM starts
What the fuck should I do lads

Do you guys think the UK is more advanced than USA in terms of integrating tech into shops and town centres?

Nearly every shop I've been in has wireless pay by card or android pay and in 2015 we got these touchscreen info points with maps of the city centre on which also print out coupons for McDonald's and other shops

>>34252076
>Don't be one of those subhumans who blow it on booze then whine about the powers that be keeping them down.

Not him but I am guilty of that. I doubt I'll ever stop doing it, though, as because the man is definitely repressing us and keep us as livestock. My drinking or not drinking won't ever change that.

>>34252129
I was only joking, lad. I'm sorry!

>>34252166

Having never been to the US I couldn't say, although I don't think they even have chip and pin for credit cards in Texas, so maybe.

>>34252013
that feel when comfy little riverside pub right at the end of your road

pretty much the only redeeming feature of my town tbqh

>>34252105
I'd say you're doing good then but try to look for advancement in your life. It's good maintainence but it's not really going anywhere. At 120 saved a months, that's not very much saved per year.

It's better than everyone who is retarded but only the beginnings of making a foundation for your life, kind of thing.

It sounds like you're doing all you can so far though, keep it up, just need a better paying job and to apply those habits again.

>>34252245
What town do you have?

i spend an unreasonable amount of time wondering academically whether i'd make enough of a passing-tranny to camwhore, emboldened by the knowledge someone i knew was a tranny. (i only picked up on it when i was told)

have to keep reminding myself that at this stage it's too late: even if i pass, at best it's a decade of good times before it all goes to hell. as a man i can live a life of more contented mediocrity, albeit without slutting myself out.

what i'm saying is i have a problem.

what should I get my mum for her birthday lads? I'm going into the cit, no fucking idea what I should get

she hates frivolous crap so is there anything small and relatively cheap?

>>34252288
Why do you want to be a tranny camwhore though? That is one fucked up aspiration. It's not cool, lad. Think about something else.

>>34252288
shave your arse, balls and legs, get some thigh-highs on and you'll be good enough for the majority of benders I reckon

you'll need to be good at putting dildos up your backside though

>>34252288
Do you actually want to be a slut, or do you just have such low self-esteem and are such a lazy cunt that you want ez-mode money without doing any real work for it?

That's the important question. If it's the latter, wipe your mind clean of those thoughts now. If it's the former, start sucking those cocks and wearing those dresses I guess

>>34252347
My mum left us when I was 6 and remarried. I never see her so I don't know what gifts to buy for mothers.

>>34252277
Gravesend, it's a dump and its only claim to fame is that we've got pocahontas' corpse, but this little pub makes it all seem worthwhile

>What town do you have?
sounds like something johnny foreigner would say, desu

>>34252398
It does, doesn't it? I promise I'm English, born and bred, but I word things very strangely at times. Especially whilst under the influence.

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>>34252234
I'll spell check at this time of night from now on, but it's 3am so sleep tight senpai

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I fapped and I'm not tired. Going to try and get some sleep but it won't happen.

>>34252706
Right here with you brother. Managed to sleep from 11PM til 1AM but now I'm fucked

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>>34249015
I have my own 2 bedroom house in Peckham if anyone gets laggin and cant be bothered to travel home. You'd have to meet Mr Cuddles though

Pic related. Mr Cuddles

>>34253018
You're the lad with the big dog and the white rat. Can you post pictures of the rat, please, lad?

I can't do a single sit up. What a load of shit.

>>34253342
You have to be joking. Are you a piece of cardboard or something?

>>34253427

Maybe, I can't even be sure any more.

>drinking and eating cup ramen at 3:42 am

Is this a low point lads?

>>34253342
I can do plenty of situps but I can't do a single pressup

even the stance I need to take is awkward as shit

>>34253495

There are a lot of other factors before that's the case.

>>34253501

I can do a reasonable amount of press ups, for someone who hasn't looked after themselves more or less ever, but I guess my stomach has taken the brunt of years of eating shit and doing sod all.

>>34253642
>other factors

like what?

Immediately replying to a /britfeel/ post is probably one right?

>>34253682

Well, you're here regardless, why wouldn't you reply promptly?

Anyway, things like why specifically a ramen cup? Is this an early breakfast, a sad dinner or a confused lunch? Did you say "heck with it" and stroll confidently into your kitchen, or did you have to creep like a guilty cat so as not to wake mum and dad?

>>34253743
more of a heck with it meal desu

I'm surprised the government hasn't shoved government mandated camera's up your ass by now.

You have more camera's per capita than any city in the world. You live in an Orweilian nightmare.

>>34253965
It's not great, but America doesn't look so peachy to outsiders either.

>>34254077
I'd rather have my freedom

>>34254149
you might be waiting a while m8

>>34253965
rather pakis than blacks desu mate

rather knife crime than gun crime, too

page ten save

live on, /nightfeel/

someone save this thread from obliteration

How the fuck does everyone keep up with music trends? It's like people have this entire arsenal of current hip hop artists etc., and I wonder where the fuck they dig them all up. It sure as hell isn't the radio, I even looked up Schoolboy Q and he's never even charted in the UK. How do they do it? I feel like I'm perpetually on the outside, claiming to love music and yet only sticking to a select few artists that are fucking ancient. I would love to be more up-to-date with my tastes but I just don't know how the fuck you do it.

>>34257215
I use LastFM for that. If I ever feel a bit stagnant when I listen to the same things over and over, I just look at the recommended artists bit and download a load of that. It helps a lot with delving into your preferred niche too

>>34257215
I mostly just listen to old classical stuff, soundtracks, some new age, ambient, and electronic. Treasure troves full of brilliant artists from those genres so you have plenty to listen to without having to worry about paying attention to current artists or charts etc.

Staying up with current trends is overrated. Finding the good stuff is always the best way to go, whether it's current or oldish.

Few artists I recommend off the top of my head from my listening habits? Brian Eno, Boards of Canada, Lights out Asia, Hammock, Jakob, Keith Kenniff/ Helios, Moby...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TkLhtXM0go

>>34253965
>You have more camera's per capita than any city in the world
This isn't the government, they're primarily privately owned.

All for nought when everyone has a smartphone tracking device and 90% have a facebook profile anyway.

what do you guys know about wecast dongles? what do they do i think its stealing my wifi

Thursday Lads: https://youtu.be/pQpTf2wuuno

>>34257738
You have good taste mate.

>Staying up with current trends is overrated. Finding the good stuff is always the best way to go, whether it's current or oldish.

Agree up to a certain point - but for me there's something special about finding something good that is also new. Feels zeitgeisty and vibrant.

Currently lay on the floor of a store room at work. Send help.

Escaped bum sleeping hours. Slept from 10pm till 7:30am.

>>34259378
Impressive. I woke up about an hour ago and I was pretty delighted. Still in bed though.

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Good morning, /britfeel/!

How is everyone doing this morning?
What are your plans today?
Anybody going to try something new today?
If you have 12 minutes, why don't you try out the start to couch to 5k!

People who are at home today or everday, I hope today is more enjoyable than you could imagine.
People at work I hope your job is fun but if that's not possible, I hope the hours are over quick so you can get some well deserved comfy time.

>>34259326
Can you get up or do you just not want to?

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>>34259443
>be biofag
>have go to uni in a couple hours
>have anxiety and mild insomnia for past 3 months (but both have improved a lot)
>tfw you still feel unprepared for final year of university

i have a bunch of sertraline tablets, how long would it take to kill me if i downed them all with shots of sambuca?

>>34259443
>What are your plans today?

I'm going to get up, meditate, do my "Morning Pages" writing exercise, do an hour of learning, go for a walk, do a bit of work, go to the supermarket with the gf when she finishes work, cook dinner for both of us (pasta aglio e olio) and then maybe more work or just some reading and chilling out.

>>34259443
I'm up now. I just didnt want to. Cant be arsed doing work or talking to people but I've had to return to my desk.

Lads, I'm an ectomorph. Will I ever be attractive or am I destined to a life of auschwitzmode and then onto skinnyfat for eternity?

>>34259508
Don't give up, anon! You're so close to graduating. Do you have mock exams or anything that can help you gauge where you are or is third year mostly essays?

Insomnia is very very frustrating and the lack of sleep messes with all sorts of bodily functions.
Have you been to your GP about it?

>>34259558
>pasta aglio e olio
Never seen that before, I'm definitely going to try it someday as I love cacio e pepe
>Meditation
Otherwise that sounds like a cracking day, enjoy anon!

>>34259588
Ahh I'm sorry, try to keep strong brother. The days where you feel trapped are definitely the worst, but you can work through them! What's the wellbeing policy like at your work? If you're feeling too depressed maybe you can ask your manager to do some different work.

>>34259687
Thanks mate, what are you up to today yourself?

anyone else think weed is made too strong these days? miss the days i could just chill out with a nice spliff and get a mellow buzz, nowadays its all skunk and ridiculously high % THC strains whic dont give the same comfy high

i asked my dealer if he can get his hands on any less potent stuff and he looked at me like nigga what

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>>34248946
Really need to organise the waifupics on my phone desu lads

>>34259443
>How is everyone doing

I left the house ten minutes later than planned and got to work 5 minutes early. Not sure how that happened but I'm not complaining desu.

Have a nice day at work lenlad

>>34259687
I'll get over it. I'm pretty used to hating being here by now so its standard. Theres not really anything else to do anyway.

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>>34259687
i know anon, my uni work is so important to me

i've been predicted to pass with a first, the only notable accomplishment in my life and i don't want it to crumble down now

most exams are essays which fortunately are my strong point

>>34259836
These days I just put a little pinch in a pipe and toke that. If it's rocket fuel I just use less.

Also remember it's not just the strength, it's the strain. Cheap indoor skunk grown by vietnamese gangs with loads of ferts for maximum yield is never going to be as good as good genetics grown by dedicated homegrowers organically. Look online for better suppliers. The shit on the streets isn't good.

>>34259922
most of what i get is either from the plant or at most 1 step down the line, at the minute iv got some k2 and armagedon the arma is a nice smoke but the k2 is way too strong for my liking

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>start trying to lose weight 3 weeks ago
>see how much i've lost today
>gained 1kg

>>34258441
>90% have a facebook profile anyway
Didn't realise there were that many good goys. Glad to be among the ten percent.

>>34260061

Don't worry lad atleast you have the information gained over the last week to adjust and next week hopefully concur the flab. You can do it.

>>34259443
Went to the doctor's for some sleep advice. It was good advice I think and I got a book, but I would rather just have some drugs desu. Still, the quick fix isn't the one that lasts.

Worrying about money. Seems like every day. I'm actually pretty happy with it but my partner is never satisfied. Browbeating me. I feel like a total cuck. Needing to more money to fund someone else's lifestyle and mortgage feels horrible. I have work in an hour or so though. That will be something to look forward to. How did it come to this?

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>work in my dad's shop all day
>sit near a big window with lots of people passing
>every day for the past few months I have seen a cute, shy looking girl walk past the window from the college
>she always looks lonely and sad since everybody else from the college is walking in groups
>sometimes fantasize about talking to her
>see her today
>she's holding hands with some weird looking beta faggot and looks happy
>realise that beta faggot is more alpha than I am
>remember I'll never get a gf

G-Good for her I guess

Does anyone remember that Sabrina episode where she sang that song with the word fanny in it

>>34260092
>Worrying about money. Seems like every day.

No wonder you can't sleep.

>My partner is never satisfied. Browbeating me

What does she want from you? Why doesn't she make more money if she wants more?

>>34260089
I hope so, I'm 88kg right now and I've got a wedding coming up in June that I hope to be at least 80kg for

>>34260131
Don't feel bad mate, she was probably going out with him the whole time.

haircut in the next hour

Anxiety kicking in

Can't believe I have to pay money to torture myself like that. I wish I was going bald so I'd have an excuse to shave all the shit off

>>34260138
She's a full time student and doesn't bring anything in except student loan.

I don't get enough hours at work. Before Christmas I was promised more time and that would have been fine. Life doesn't always go the way you want though; whereas every year previously the company has had plenty to go around there are no clients so I didn't get anything extra. The company is struggling so it can't be helped. In any case, it means I barely work - not through choice but because the work isn't there. So last night I said I'd find an extra part time position in Feb once the side stuff I'm doing on a temporary basis dries up. She replied with
>Well why aren't you looking now?
It's a bad feel lads.

Pulling a sickie lads.

Felt like shit when I woke up but I'm fine now. Surely 11am is too late to bother going in, yeah?

>>34260243
*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpGEeneO-t0

origano

>>34260226
So how the fuck can she complain? You're supporting her!

I don't understand mate - what right does she have to browbeat you about money? Really?

Tell her you're happy about what you make, and if she doesn't like it she can get a job or just go and fuck herself and move out. She'll respect you 100x more.

Grow some nuts mate.

>>34260144
That sounds like a realistic goal, somedays I'm not sure weather i change my mind or underwear more Tbh

I'm drunk.
And right now I'm so in love with you.
And I don't want to think too much about what we should or shouldn't do.
Lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars.
While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car.

Found out today that my ex gf who when she broke up with me a few months ago said she "wasn't in a position to be with anyone right now" is with my former best friend who spent years telling me she was a slut, had a blown out cunt, had ugly tits, etc

Why can't people be honest? How hard would it have been for her to say "while me and him were off our faces we really bonded over slashing our arms up and I think I love him but what do I know I'm incapable of forming healthy relationships"

Livid

This sounds weird but how high are you supposed to wear trousers? Are your balls supposed to be touching the bottom of the crotch part? Does the waistband go all the way up to the bellybutton?

I've always worn mine much lower, like around the hips, but now I'm wondering if that's right

>>34260368
Lyrics posts are the worst thing to ever happen to forums, ever

Grow up

>>34260269
The issue is a difference in life experience. I grew up without very much. I then did six years as a student and was happy enough scraping by as long as I had enough to drink and play video games. On the other hand she has pretty 'comfortable' parents who think nothing of giving her half a grand offhand. Whereas I feel a bit guilty about buying a bottle of vodka that will last me two weeks she'll go out and buy Pandora jewellery just because. She consistently preorders games going to up 80 quid, and so on. So while she's studying she thinks it's unfair that I'm not working more because she wants a mortgage. She might have a point about hours. As I mentioned though, I would like more - but doing a job I enjoy and get paid reasonably for. I think she wants me to work full time which I don't think I could cope with, and in whatever position I can get.

>>34260408
That's what they all say.

I was once on the other side of that. My mate had been seeing a girl and he wanted to get serious, she said "I'm just not in the right place for a relationship right now."

Three days later she was with me.

Then she turned out to be a complete slag.

>>34260471
That's not the issue mate.

The issue is that she's a cunt and she isn't pulling her own weight. If she wants to buy a house she can buy one.

Tell her you're happy the way you are and she can either be with you or not. Then tell her you're more than happy to help her pack and call her a cab.

Can't believe you're letting yourself get walked all over like that.

>>34260447
If you're fat then around your waist, otherwise around your hips.

>>34260471
Tell her to grow the fuck up or dump her ass then, she's being an entitled cunt and you're enabling her.

>>34260503
>>34260516
I know that you're right. The fact is though, I couldn't afford to live independently. Not easily. Couple that with the fact that her family are very useful in an emergency, and I'm not much better.

any other gear users in the house? Sw

>>34260478
I should have known all his shit talking her was impotent desire. I was suspicious of them both while I was with her what with how he decided to stop talking to me almost the moment I got close to her and started being all protective of her and stuff. He even cut himself and showed her in some sort of perverse attempt at sharing a bond.
I wouldn't be surprised if he had got my other former friend to do what he did to sabotage the relationship so he could swoop in.

I knew she was a slag, knew too much. hell it was this fucking guy who told me all the shit I knew about her history. But I did the stupid thing and convinced myself it would all be fine.

The little queer unfriended me on normiebook as well like a little bitch. He still has hundreds of quids worth of my warhammer 40k in his flat and if he doesn't fucking give that back I swear

Are roadmen a real thing for bongs? Do you really have 14 year olds wanting to steal your shoes? If yes, that sounds fun as fuck

>>34260540
So her and her family are supporting you?

film night? haven't heard much about it as of late. are we all still down for some really comfy times? I'm buying nice food and treats for the occasion.

>>34260567
Not quite. Let's say I pay 2/3 - 3/4 of everything. She is putting in. Now, I know if she were in danger of going under her family would jump in - and vicariously, they'd save me as well. I know it's not really for my benefit but that doesn't matter. My family on the other hand would likely do very little for me if I was in trouble. My mum has actively betrayed me for her own benefit several times.

>>34260599
>Let's say I pay 2/3 - 3/4 of everything.

Tell her that when she's paying her fair share, then she can make demands - but until then you're supporting her so she isn't entitled to demand anything of you.

I'm not saying that you should actually chuck her out. Just stand up for yourself a bit.

The way she's talking to you, anyone would think she was supporting you and not the other way round.

What's stopping her from getting a job anyway? I had a job as a student. I wasn't spending 80 quid on games or buying useless luxuries like jewellery either.

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>>34259443
guten morgen

I'm going into glasgow today to talk to the uni career advisors and buy my mum a birthday present

hope you have a comfy day lenlad

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>>34259443
>What are your plans today?
First sign on meeting at the Job Centre, then go home and do nothing.

Lady at my work said I look like Pete Doherty. Like a greasy heroin addict then? Thanks a lot Cathy

>24 KHV
>keep thinking about girls at school who showed any interest in me
>I was too arrogant and thought I could get the fittest girl in the year
and now I have to spend maybe another year to even get to the point of being 5/10 because of my shitty balding genes and yellow teeth, I'm also short and have a small dick, so I have literally nothing going for my appearance. Thinking if I get rich somehow, which won't happen, I'll get hair replacement surgery. May even get cosmetic surgery.

>>34260875
>my shitty balding genes and yellow teeth, I'm also short and have a small dick

:Literally me, except I also have strabismus

Someone has it in for me

>>34260144
fucking 200lbs

I am 250 and was 300

200 is nothing you don't even look that fat

fucking chubbyfags REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34260905

Calm down lad, have a cake.

>>34260903
>strabismus
Shit mate, I have that too. It's when you keep going cross eyed right? Maybe we're related

>>34260598
yeah it's tomorrow night lad.

I'm going to get piss drunk.

>>34260905
I'm only 5'7" though.

Even at 170lbs, I'd still look quite chubby, need to be 150-160lbs realistically.

>tfw will never know the feel of being naked in the middle of a spa or changing room because your pee pee is small and you always hide it away
>this is just another random bit of bad luck you were served at birth and nothing you can do about it

>>34260950
I'm only 5'9 or 10, I'm hardly much taller mate. Don't pretend you have problems.

Here's some advice to be kind though, try and take it slow, you can't walk before you run, then cut down the diet over several weeks/months. I started off eating chips and burgers twice a day, now I eat vegetables and quinoa or a couple potato skins and thin steaks, and have only 1-2 snacks a day. It took a while to get to this point though and the first few weeks were hell. If you got past that you can do it mate.

>>34260598
>>34260940
Are you lads going to the Film Night Basic Tier or the Film Night Elite Squadron?

Only 10 hours left on the poll lads! Winner announced at 10pm tonight.


The choices for Film Night -

>Dungeons and Dragons (2000)
>Dog Soldiers (2002)
>Hackers (1995)
>John Wick (2014)
>Trainspotting (1996)
>Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone (2001)
>Mean Girls (2004)

Poll will run until Thursday at 10pm at which point the results will be posted.

Film night link will be posted at 9:30pm on Friday the 20th, film to start at 10pm.
Music fitting the choice of film will be played beforehand and the floor will be open to whatever you want afterwards.

http://www.strawpoll.me/12113590

>>34260998
Eh, the choices for basic are really... boring.

I think I'll be sticking with the Elites this week.

>>34260976
I'm pretty sure I can do it, it's just that I'm unemployed and bored so I eat more than I should. I wish I had some kind of work so I could take my mind off eating for more than like 10 minutes.

>>34261011
That is the main problem with this kind of thing. You eat when you're bored, but eating is completely self-defeating. Find a hobby or something else to do whenever you get bored, make a regime and stick to it. This is the hardest part so don't feel bad if you fail, but keep at it and you'll do well.

What calories do you aim to eat? If you look at calorie calculators online it will tell you how much you need to eat to lose 1 or 2lbs a week at your weight/height. I try and eat around 1200 myself just to be safe, and I lost around 50lbs in six months.

>>34261005
Very wise mate, very wise. Elite Squadron is going to be amazing this week.

>>34260978
huh?

there is only one film night anon.

>>34260917
One of my eyes turns outwards, like Satre. Not quite as severe, but definitely noticable.

>>34261042
>he doesn't know
Best we keep it that way, haha.

>>34261042
Nope there are two tiers. Basic Tier and Elite Squadron. Anyone can go to basic but you need to be invited to Elite.

>>34261054
yeah that's what I have, don't know why I said "go cross eyed" then you would look a right plonker

>>34261054
I've never heard of this anon, I'm going to read up on it. Does it cause a lot of issues with vision or is it mostly aesthetic?

Do wagies wank before work or after work, lads?

>>34260950
Start fasting. I drop weight pretty quickly whenever I fast. Obviously don't take it to the extreme.

>>34261036
Going for 1500kcal a day, which puts me on track to lose 1kg per week (BMR 2500kcal per day). Split it into two meals per day (morning/evening) with tea around it, and I think it's realistic enough.

What made you suddenly want to lose weight anyway? I just don't want to look fat in my sister's wedding photos

Really feeling a bit of the old hatred for mankind right now lads. What the fuck happened to virtues like kindness, honesty or decency?

>>34260998
Unpopular opinion: Trainspotting is bad

>>34261057
>>34261059

then clearly you guys aren't invited to elite night ;)

>>34261102
wagies dont need to wank cos they spend 8 hours a day getting fucked

>>34261005
I really hope you mean the old circle jerk when you say elites. poof

The choices for Film Night Elite Squadron are as follows:

>Trainspotting 2 (2017)
>Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017)
>Kong: Skull Island (2017)
>The Lego Batman Movie(2017)
>John Wick: Chapter 2(2017)
>The Dark Tower(2017)
>King Arthur: Legend of the Sword(2017)

Poll is available for voting in the Film Night Elite Squadron members area until Thursday at 10pm.

>>34261125
1500 is good to start and a realistic target. Keep in mind weight fluctuates so you might put on or lose a few pounds from day to day. I recommend snacks like grapes, crackerbread, diet crisps, celery and cucumbers, and keep changing it to not bore your palette.

I wanted to lose weight because my mother got breast cancer again and I had an existential crisis. All my friends have left and I live with my parents at 24 with no prospects, and I realised at 300lbs I would probably die in my 30s. I'd rather not leave my dad all on his own at least, even if he is an atheist twat at times.

>>34261098
Yes it does. It's hard to explain, but one side becomes more "dominant" depending on which way I'm viewing something. I have to focus, or tilt my head a certain direction to keep things in focus. When I'm tired, the vision switches from left to right eye making it very hard to concentrate.

It's also a bitch for my depth perception.

Worst part about this is I had surgery TWICE to fix it, and it goes fucked up again in a few years. Last surgery was fucking horrible too (they woke me up before it was completed, so they could "adjust" it whilst I was awake), so I can't go through that again

I can handle being short, balding and with a smaller than average dick. Caps hide the hair, and no one sees the dick, but your eyes are one of the most important socialisation tools

>>34261107
How long do you last before you crack? Don't you just end up piling all the weight back on at the end?

>>34261161
lmao this is a top quality meme m9s

>>34248906
Damn dude why is winter so comfy I never feel bad in winter

>>34261172
What size is your dick anon?

>>34261172
I wear a cap all the time now too anon, I really feel your pain. For a few years I just pretended it didn't exist but losing my hair was like losing a friend, I can't help but notice it and feel very self-aware going outside.

I didn't even meet my mother's father, who I inherited this shit hairline from, and he sounds like a massive wanker. Probably got his small dick too because he sounds a right bastard.

>>34261172
Fuck lad. I never even knew this existed, Sounds pretty shitty mate I'm sorry.

Did they give a reason that the surgery didn't work out? Are there any other options.

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>>34261166
>All my friends have left and I live with my parents at 24 with no prospects
Same here, except I'm a year older. 50lbs in half a year is pretty impressive though. I hope I have the strength of will to last that long.

>>34260659
Frankly, she's not really performing so well at university as it is. With that and schizophrenia there's no way she could hold down a job as well.

>>34261161
Fucks sake man the elites get all the best films

I'm hoping to be selected to join some day.

lads, my mummy has been watching our kay without me and she said out kay 'has nice tits'

>>34261185
Eventually you get used to it.
I only put on a tiny bit of weight over Christmas. But now I'm back to eating less and more healthily.

It's always hardest when you first begin dieting because it takes a while for your body to get used to it. The first month is the toughest.

>>34261240
Mate...why are you letting someone who has so little going for her walk all over you?

Serious question. Why?

>>34261229
It was very sketchy at the beginning, I didn't even count calories properly but I still lost a little weight because I weighed so much at the start.

It's all about persistence and dedication. The nice thing about weight loss is that it's all about wasting time so you feel good just for doing nothing so long as you don't eat. It helped me some with my depression to feel as if I was accomplishing something just by existing and not eating a snack.

What's the most hurtful thing anyone has said to you on 4chan?

>no RL friends besides one nutter who thinks he will "cure aging" by learning programming, maths and chinese
>no really this mate is insane
>socialize 99% of the time with yanks on skype
>now I sound American
does anyone on Earth know this feel? I know they say there's others who are just like you but I must be 1 in a million

>>34261296
someone called me a normie for emptying my shit vase

>>34261214
I don't know about other options. When I went to the doctor, they referred me straight to ophthalmology at the local hospital. Took a year (and 2 eye injections to test for double vision, which failed to work...) to get it "fixed" and was only fixed for 4 or 5 years once the surgery had been finished.

The reason it goes wrong again is because "it happens" apparently. There's nothing they can do to prevent it. Just shitty genetics/biology.

>>34261240
her name is liliana right.

>>34261261
Well, looking at it... there's:
>Companionship
>Something like a family
>A reasonably nice flat
>Occasional sex
>Familiarity (10 years)

>>34261311
I dunno if that was a joke or something, but no. Nice doubles though.

does anyone else have one eye more closed than the other? like forrest whittaker style?

makes me look like i'm constantly winking

>>34261316
Other than the familiarity you could get that from anyone. And you're the one paying for the reasonably nice flat.

Here's what isn't going for her

>Mentally ill
>Doesn't respect you
>Expects more from you than she gives herself
>Expects you to pick up her slack
>Expects you to work yourself to the bone while she lazes around not even succeeding at university

You deserve better than a lazy, mental cunt.

>>34261349
She also complains that I don't do enough around the house even though I cook every meal - if she's in university and I'm not at work then I ought to be tidying and cleaning. She's hoping that after university she can just stay at home, possibly doing something from there while I work. This isn't such a good deal for me. She can be understanding when I have some kind of panic attack or whatever though. I'm pretty depressed to be fair so not the most sunny.

>>34261349
MY FRIENDS GOT A GIRLFRIEND MAN HE HATES THAT BITCH HE TELLS ME EVERY DAY HE SAYS MAN I REALLY GOTTA LOSE MY CHICK IN THE WORST KINDA WAY

>>34261390
does she let you diddle her bumhole and play with her feets? if so then ride it out lad

Interview tomorrow lads.
I bet it will be yank shit like "tell me about yourself" "name a time when you faced and overcame a challenge".

Fucking hate interview exam shit the jobs just putting shit into boxes.

>>34261427
Neither. She has a foot phobia (including her own). I tried it once and was shot down in flames.

>>34261448
then why are you even asking us what to do my man

>>34261390
>She's hoping that after university she can just stay at home, possibly doing something from there while I work.

Like what? What is her degree in? Is this really realistic?

I work from home now but it took me 7 years of slaving in offices before I had a good enough reputation for someone to let me work in my house.

>>34261303
>no RL friends besides one nutter who thinks he will "cure aging" by learning programming, maths and chinese

He actually sounds like an interesting guy. My IRL friends only want to do the same thing over and over. I barely see them either.

>>34261444

>name a time when you faced and overcame a challenge

This one time I masturbated at 6 times in one day and was still able to collect dozens of (You)s.

>>34261459
Wants to be a self-employed psychologist/ counsellor type

>>34261310
>The reason it goes wrong again is because "it happens" apparently.

I fucking hate this from doctors. I know that sometimes stuff just happens but still it feels like a cop out when they shrug their shoulders and just say "meh, it happens".

I've had a trapped nerve in my back for over 6 months, some mornings I can't even get out of bed. I went to talk to a doctor about it and he just goes
>it can happen to anyone, at any point. Nothing can be done, you just have to wait for it to work itself out, should take no more than 6 weeks.

That was 6 months ago and its only gotten worse.

>>34261485
Thanks, I'll use that.

>>34261493
Sounds like hell. Sorry to hear that

Back problems seem to be one of those things no one has any fucking idea about

Got to go to work now, but I'll just add that she's also morbidly obese and considers sex a chore; a favour more or less. I'm pretty fat too though so maybe I can't complain (working on it).

>>34261489
At home? That's not even possible. She hasn't thought it through at all.

You're going to be supporting her forever. Soon she won't even have the student loan. She'll just be on the dole but still expect you to do everything.

>>34261102
I wank at work most days. If it's a really slow day I'll do it multiple times just for something to do. Most I've done was 4 wanks during a work day.

I'm the only person in my office so there's no danger of getting caught.

>>34261537
She'll poke holes in his condom to trap him

You just know she's the type.

>>34261524
break up with her mid sex, right as ur about to nut inside her tell her shes got 24 hours to move out

>>34261521
Cheers lad.

That's the thing. No one has a fucking clue why it happens or how to fix it. Some people accuse me of lying for some reason, they don't know the pure fear of feeling a sneeze coming and knowing that it is going to hurt so much that I won't move for 20 minutes.

>>34261556
Do you work from home? Because that is not as impressive.

>>34261556
Sounds like an ideal job, m8.

>>34261102
before,after,during. when you need to wank you need to wank. i've not much self control

>>34261584
> feeling a sneeze coming and knowing that it is going to hurt so much that I won't move for 20 minutes.

Now I have even more sympathy. Sneezing is one of life's pleasures

>>34261054
I have that too, but it doesn't do it all the time, only when I'm not focussing on something. The only other person I knew who had it was a girl at school who gave a dwarf a blowjob apparently, but that's unrelated

>BBC One's Taboo starring Tom Hardy has been pulled from programming this week after an upheld complaint regarding the uncensored use of the word "nigger"

>>34261630
>a girl at school who gave a dwarf a blowjob
I fucking love school rumors.

We had one girl where it was said she would wank you off and let you finger her for a pack of Wrigley's chewing gum.

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>Buy a pack of 4 chicken breast
>Eat one a day
>They don't last 4 days without going off and that's if you want to eat chicken every day.

What is the point of this?

>>34261717
Just pop them in the freezer lad.

>>34261717
Freeze them, you dolt.

Defrost one in morning and cook it come dinner time.

>>34261717
Freezer bags, buddyo

>>34261681
There were rumours of a girl who put a frozen sausage up her fanny and had to go to hospital because of it, but it was always "at the other school"

Also there was a really persistent rumour that a teacher had a wooden leg, despite the fact he walked totally normally.

>>34261672
Fucking historical revisionists.

>>34261732
>>34261751
>>34261755
Pretty sure freezing ruins meat

>>34261772
you're retarded lad

>>34261772

Cook it before it can go off

>>34261772
You buy meat in the frozen section of every supermarket so how does that work??

>>34261772
It does. Don't listen to these council house mongs who freeze meat and ruin the flavour.
There's a reason "mums shop at Iceland" and it's because they're poor and can't afford fresh food.

>>34261717
Buy a pack of 2 chicken breasts in future.

>>34261761
We had that one too except it was a test tube which broke whilst in the fanny

>>34261772
It's never going to be as good as fresh, but it doesn't ruin it unless you let frost burn kick in

>>34261761
We had that frozen sausages one too. And the one who put tuna up her chuff because her boyfriend loved tuna and left some in there and ended up with maggots up there.

Wooden leg one is new to me. Anyone ever try and find out?

>>34261761
Did you have the one about the kid who smashed a pencil into his brain through his nose during an exam?

>>34261602
Unfortunately not, I wish I could work from home. I'm the only one here because there isn't enough work to justify employing anyone else.

>>34261606
It would be if i got paid more, but I can't really complain about pay when I spend most of my day on here, playing 3ds and wanking.

>>34261830
HAHA yes! Who the fuck came up with this stuff? We also had the one where a guy smashed his head open by leaning too far back in his chair.

>>34261810
Who the fuck would be that daft?

We also had one kid who ended up in hospital because we made pure alcohol in science and he necked some of it. That was pretty funny.

I just want to be a beefcake lads.

>>34261899
then you would be know as 'beefcake boy' lad

just started season 2 of Lilyhammer lads, didnt know it was so good i thought it was some normie shit

>>34261830
That's a really old one, I think my dad told me that one.

There was another one where someone put smarties up his gfs fanny, I don't remember the rest, but the punchline was "then he sucked it out and it was a blood clot"

>>34261961

Yeah I heard that one, a couple of serial liars insisted it happened to them.

>>34261899
Better get eating and lifting then, BRO

>>34261761
We had a rumour about a history teacher who dropped pencils so he could look up skirts. One day he came in with a big plaster on his forehead and everyone was saying that someone had branded him with a P for paedo.

True story though: During one of the school trips some chavs got one of the special kids to wank off another special kid. They got expelled and we had an assembly talking about 'vicious rumourmongering' and basically saying if anyone was heard talking about it they'd get suspended.

>>34261672
what show was this?

>>34261999
>We had a rumour about a history teacher who dropped pencils so he could look up skirts.

Had that one at out school but it was the weird maths teacher.
This one is still about today. My niece is 14 and insists that there is a teacher that does it.

>>34259443
Went out for my bi-monthly shopping trip with my mum. Went pretty poorly, bought nothing and had a minor anxiety attack.

>>34261999
We had a cracker that I am pretty sure was actually true

Some big guys held down this little spastic and got a dog to fuck his head - it ended up spunking all over his hair.

>>34262086
>one lad gets a snickers out of the vending machine
>opens it and rolls it in dog shit
>offers it to the spastic kid
>he eats the whole thing and smiles with dog shit between his teeth.

On a side note there was a rumor that gluing 2 1p's together would trick the vending machine into thinking it was a quid and it broke the machine so many times that they got rid of them.

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>tfw regularly think about getting a career ad making something of myself
>remember that I always get bored of things and drop whatever I'm doing

I'm not lazy, when I start working on a projectI like I can finish that project to a better standard than most people. Problem is I end up just thinking "What the fuck am I doing? I'm doing something else, there's no point"

>>34262150
At my school we had swipe cards for the cafeteria and vending machines. You swiped your card in a machine and put coins in to put money on it.

I worked out that if you could get access to the cafeteria tills, you could "refund" as much money as you wanted onto the card. We used to break into the cafeteria in the afternoon after the dinner ladies had gone home, swipe the card, and put 99 quid on them.

Free food always. Was so good.

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>A shut-in NEET with cartoon loli on his computer is considered more dangerous than a bunch of people marching down the street chanting "behead the queen"

Where's the logic?

>>34262246
The people marching down the street will never get the chance to behead the queen, whereas the shut-in NEET might get a chance to molest a child.

>>34261316
You can get all these things from /britfeel/

>>34262270
if he's a shut-in then how can he molest a kid?

>>34262270
thats what the king of france thought

>>34262338
Shut ins are shut ins because of choice.

He could easily go and snatch a kid. That's what Roy Whiting did.

Paedos are scum, and the only reason paedos wank to cartoons is because they are too scared to download child porn.

>>34262350
>Paedos are scum, and the only reason paedos wank to cartoons is because they are too scared to download child porn.
Isn't that a good thing?

>>34262379
Except real kids don't look anything like 2D kids?

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>>34262086
>read this
>get a boner

There is no hope for me

>>34262434
No it's a bad thing. They should be castrated then jailed in the worst possible conditions.

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>>34262379
Yeah pedos should man up and rape real children, instead of masturbating to harmless drawings


Retard

>>34262270

>disgusting 3d

Gross anon

>>34261296
Someone once called me a faggot.

>>34262379
There's a risk of course but the shut in is a shut in because he hates being around people and has no desire to do anything social. I fail to see how the shut in is more dangerous than the people openly stating they want to murder the queen

>>34262496
I'm just making the point that they are cowards who should be tortured and mutilated by the state before their miserable lives are snuffed out forever by the executioner's axe.

>>34262379
>too scared to download actual, real, pornographic images of children in the comfort of their own home
>perfectly reasonable for them to leave the house, and to plan and execute a kidnapping
You're giving them far too much credit, anon.

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I have watched a lot of tv shows since becoming neet.

Just started watching daredevil since I decided to try out some normie tier tv. Anyone else think that Wilson Fisk is the most autistic villain ever? He has a hissy fit and absolutely spergs out because he was embarrassed in front of a girl?

Also for anyone wondering 3D > 2D any day

>>34261672

I want source, because I can't find fuck all about it on the Beed.

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>>34248946
On a train filled with old people while I read a saucy novel for English lit

Might get some tendies over rice for lunch

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>>34262524
You sound like a reasonable and mentally healthy human bean

>>34262567
Fuck I messed that up

2D > 3D any day.
2D is obviously superior in every way.

>>34262615

If you froze that Snickers it would make a brilliant murder weapon. Like in that Roald Dahl short story about the lamb.

>>34262652
don't think they're allowed to sell those giant chocolate bars anymore are they? is that the real reason they were banned

>>34262567
Ive stArted watching loads of movies recently. Never been much of a tv guy though.

Trump's getting inaugurated on my birthday

I was watching jeremy kyle and I don't fucking understand how such ugly mongs get sex but im still a virgin. wtf

>>34262716
You've seen who they shag, right?

>>34262691

Surely not, we'd have heard if dozens of murder suspects had gotten off on account of there being no giant, gore-smeared Snickers to use in evidence. And I didn't even know they existed until now, never mind whether they'd been banned.