Life Tip Thread

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You don't have to go to college to be successful-- trade school works just as well if youre willing to try.

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Never get a prey animal (guinea pig, rabbit, mouse, insects, ferrets, etc) as a pet. They are high maintenance, way too easy to kill accidentally and offer absolutely no affection. They will avoid you at all costs. You'll get almost no joy from caring for them.

Hermit crabs are the only exception.

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If you play electric guitar, the reverb always come last for optimal tone.

>>34235282
this. if you want a pet but can get a cat or a dog, get fish. yes, you can't touch them but they require way less maintenance than every other prey animal. and some of them can be pretty dog-like.

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Remember to go through 4chan's settings for optimal shitposting experience.
Seriously, though. There's some really cool stuff in there, like a thread watcher, post wrapping, image formatting settings and other conveniences.

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When you talk with girl look into the spot between her eyes and not switch between them.

Just be yourself.

Shitposting aside, whenever you walk, try to imitate the stride of the most arrogant asshole you can think of. Chances are you're going to undershoot the impression and end up walking like a normal person.

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>>34235482

Fuck, I forgot my picture. I can't even do the internet right. Sorry lads.

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Immediately cut contact with your ex after breaking up, even if you want to get back together in the future.

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>>34235532
>how can cut contact when you've never had ex

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Most people have way too many clothes. I bet you could throw away 90% of your wardrobe and if you keep the right articles of clothing and plan your outfits correctly, no one would say anything or even notice.
Keeping 30 max articles of clothing is really delightful. Less clothing to wash, and when you do, it takes very little time and effort.

>>34235532
Not just contact, but literally anything that might remotely remind you of them; pictures of them, tweets about them, songs that remind you of them, etc etc.

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you should always walk with good posture, ie your head up and chest out. Don't be an asshole, but it looks sooo much better than hunching over.. also, it makes life so much easier in general because people think that you're more important than you really are if you walk tall and sit up straight.

Also, never be rude to someone unless they have done something to fuck with you. Always smile and let things slide, even if you're fuming inside. people with quick tempers might think that they're being passionate, but they always just look retarded as an outsider, and you never know who is watching/who you are being rude to..

Also, if you're just meeting someone it's polite to not let conversation slide into silence.. even if they're an "introvert," make them think that it's not super apparent and try to bring them into a conversation, even if you think it makes you look goofy/silly, because 99% of the time you don't look goofy/silly and people appreciate it.

also, you shouldn't watch TV. Read books instead. Tolstoy, Gogol, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Austen, the three Bronte sisters, Kant, etc etc etc..

the key to a healthy mind is a healthy body. You should be working out and maintaining your body.

try to start and maintain good habits, no matter how small they are. they really add up!

Finally, balance your accounts EVERY MONTH. Go through your bank accounts and put every transaction into an excel sheet and add them up/classify them to notice any big changes in your spending habits. Also, this adds accountability to stupid impulse buying because you know you'll have to see it again at the end of the month. It really only takes like 30 min a month and it'll improve your financial status immensely.

my advice :D

>>34235500
Pro tip : no one would have known if you didn't mention it.

>>34235567
>a pig
>in a cage
>on antibiotics

>>34235567

>Also, if you're just meeting someone it's polite to not let conversation slide into silence.. even if they're an "introvert," make them think that it's not super apparent and try to bring them into a conversation, even if you think it makes you look goofy/silly, because 99% of the time you don't look goofy/silly and people appreciate it.

I'm probably actually autistic. How do I do this anon?

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>>34235199
Just be yourself. It works every time.

>>34235593
>How do I do this anon?
By literally asking the small things like how you've been lately, have you been seeing any tv series/movies lately, what are you playing, how's your job and etc. Basically asking them any little things. One thing you're going to notice that even most introverted people like talking about themselves and never ask you anything in return.

>>34235627

Thanks, anon, I'll give it a try.

bloxorginalbloxauditoriumcaptchabloxoriginalblox

>>34235593
well, at one point i wanted to sleep with a girl that LITERALLY had zero personality... talking to her was LITERALLY talking to a brick wall... (she identified as an introvert).. to practice for her i literally sat indian style next to my vacuum cleaner and talked to myself about whatever... Games, anime, books, food, everything.. the key is really just saying a whole bunch of stuff that comes to mind, then asking them their opinion and going from there... like, for example:

hey! i really love this game called starcraft, but it's really not popular in the west anymore for whatever reason.. it's kinda like a realtime version of chess with a dashing of economics! it's only really popular in korea anymore, but i would love to move out there and check out the scene! i have a few friends that live there but it's really hard to communicate because their english is horrible and my korean is worse! have you ever been to korea???? it's a great country, they have the most interesting food! there's a dish called sangakji which is literally live octopus, isn't that insane? you have to drink soju while you drink it or it'll stick to your throat and choke you!!

etc etc etc, just keep throwing out cohesive topics and try to pull them in until they feel comfortable getting their feet wet... also, never talk over them.

>>34235654
One more thing. The more you're close with that person the less silence between you will be bothering.

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Don't buy a Bobble. If you don't know what it is, it's basically a reusable water bottle that comes with a disposable filter.
I had one. It sucks. It's a lot of maintenance for a bottle and isn't dishwasher safe. It can't tolerate even slightly warm liquids or anything other than water. The filter, as it turns out, actually isn't that effective (it doesn't remove chlorine, fluoride, or most bacterias) and has to be disposed of and replaced every 2 months, which sort of defeats the entire purpose of buying a reusable bottle. When I had mine, I often saw tiny black specs floating around in the water. I thought they would be filtered out through the filter, but nope. I squeezed the water into a glass and the black specs were still there. Turns out, the specs came from the filter itself. This is harmless; the filter is a carbon filter, but it's still concerning. On top of that, Bobble is a terrible insulator, so your water will end up lukewarm within 30 minutes, with condensation out the wazoo. The nozzle breaks often and the worst part is that when drinking out of the bottle, the bottle flexes and feels like it's going to crease. In fact, mine actually did end up creasing and folding on multiple occasions, so eventually it looked like a crumpled mess. I had to throw it out.

Also, the filter makes a really obnoxious hissing noise when you drink out of it, and you end up swallowing a lot of air with the water. The filter also makes an obnoxious noise when the bottle decompresses, bringing air back into it after sucking the life out of it.

Bobble looks great at first, but it's a 0/10 water bottle. Do not buy.

I'd recommend getting a Thermos Intak instead. It's the perfect water bottle imo.

>>34235684
That is the most thorough and interesting review of a fucking water bottle I have ever seen in my entire god damned life. Bravo. It was absolutely gripping.

Why is the thermos intak "the perfect water bottle", though?

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If you put down a few squares of toilet paper on the water first before you do a poo, when the poo impacts the sheets of toilet paper it prevents the water splashing up and getting your buttocks all wet.

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To determine whether an egg is still good to eat or not, simply put it in a glass and fill it with water. If it floats, its not good to eat. If it lays down on the bottom, it's still good to eat. If it stands upwards but still is on the bottom, its near expiry but still good to eat.

>>34235718
It's extremely sturdy -- I've had mine for 9 years now. It has a spring-loaded mechanism that allows you to open the thing without using both hands. It's a great insulator and the top is removable so you can fit things like ice cubes into it; however, once the top is on, the ice cubes aren't coming back out because of the drinking nozzle. The bottle doesn't affect the taste of your water in any way.
My only real complaint is that the bottle is a bit top-heavy, so it falls over often when it's empty. It's also kind of ugly. Otherwise, it's perfect.

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If you're thinking of becoming an electronic musician but you're only a beginner, use Reaper. It's free and has an incredibly logical user interface. It also treats MIDI and audio the same, which is really cool and surprisingly useful. It's basically a studio-grade DAW, but it's free. If you want to buy it, though, it's $60, which is still super cheap. But if you don't buy it, that's fine. There are no limits. You can still save and export projects, you can still do everything you could do if you paid for it.

>>34235199

Anytime you have an idea you want to follow up on later, whether it's an activity you think might be interesting to try, a music or film recommendation you think you might like, a new recipe you want to cook, anything like that, write it down immediately.
Refer back to your list and follow up on them rather than forgetting or just ignoring it.

I would also say to consider this with your political, religious, or general philosophic ideas and to explore the statements you think of in depth and research material about them.

Journaling can be good too, but in general I think this spontaneous documentation and then delayed exploration allows for better information retention and growth of your personality.

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choose the option that makes for a better story

>>34235957
This is not good advice.

>to rape or not to rape?
>eh...rape. it makes for a better story.

>>34235964
are you retarded

>hey chad so i just raped some chick it was so fr-dsuibnf239ng4og4oml4

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>>34235199
Don't get addicted to video games

>>34236002
it's a better story, though. think about it. would you watch a suspense/thriller where a guy thought about raping someone but ultimately didn't?
people would want their money back.

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Tip: No one will ever love or care for something as much as you do, so learn to conceal and hide your excitement to avoid disappointing reactions from others

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Lifting weights will increase testosterone and make you feel more confident. Lift weights.

>>34235314
why are roasties so repulsive?

>>34236132
Not true, by the way.
I tried this.

>>34236086
sounds like a shit movie

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>>34235199
Don't browse the internet. Don't do it. Abandon the computer and the internet and most of your problems will be fixed. If you get addicted to the internet, 80% that it's game over for you buddy.

>>34235735
Who is this semen demon
Asjshaj ajdj ai

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women are not confusing at all. guys will only use this as a scapegoat for being a fuckwit and feigning ignorance and girls will use this as a way of being ~randomx~ or ~quirky1!~

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>>34235199
An easy way to masturbate is by lying on your tummy and just humping the bed.

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U should b urself :^)

>>34235625
nice meme
ororigonal

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If you like someone, and they don't say it back when you tell them outright, then forget about them and move on.

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try to identify irrational fears, and replace them with more "positive" (for a lack of a better word) thoughts

>>34235567
You're literally wife material.

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even though it may taste good when you tounge a little bit of it, dont eat feces, you'll get very sick

if your a neet and hate the place and people around
you to the point of anxiety and depression you should move at any means necessary a stress
and hate free environment does wonders for your mental health
also if you do find somewhere that you can stay for cheap try to do something productive and different everyday
it teaches you to be a little more competent and makes you feel at least a little accomplished
plus its easier to do with music

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Never be the bearer of bad news

>>34236533
Does feces really taste good?

Don't use your god damned Nintendo 3DS as a fucking drum machine it never works out holy shit

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If someone says something like "I'm not looking for a relationship", what they actually mean is "I'm not looking for a relationship with you."

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Citruses make your cum taste somewhat good

>>34235567
lost me at healthy body...
why people shouldnt love me if my Hobby is eat good delicius food

>>34235391
I just use the 4chan x chrome extension

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>>34235199
Quit smoking and you will feel better.

>>34239648
Fat people are disgusting.
You can have a good body and still have good food every now and then, it's all about balance.

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>>34235627
>introverted people like talking about themselves

Don't masturbate too much, it tires your body, and can make you feel anxious and/or depressed.
Do some exercises, it doesn't matter if you'll get ripped or not, it makes you feel better and it's healthy. Do push-ups and other stuff at home if you don't want to go to the gym.
If you're anxious when you're with girls (or people in general), while talking look at the spot between their eyes, because to them, it will look like you're staring at their eyes.
Don't argue with people, politely try to explain to them something if you really want to, if they're expressing stupidity (and they can do that, through their weak counter-arguments), give it up, but in a polite way.
NEVER be rude to anyone in public, you always look like a retard in the eyes of others, no exceptions.
I'm sure not a lot of people on here use social networks, but for those who do - stop doing that, it's a big waste of time. Actually, stop browsing 4chan either, just do something else, don't browse the internet at all, just use it to download new stuff or read something etc.
I know I sound like a hypocrite because I'm on 4chan right now, but I haven't visited for a long time.

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Pro tip: Calling OP a faggot by itself doesn't do much, but saving his thread and posting thread derails does.

>>34240509 Fuck I meant to say saging[ /spoiler]

>>34240578
I don't think saging does anything anymore.

When you're at a fast food place, use a soda cup lid as your ketchup tray rather than one of those tiny cups they provide, you can get a lot more and it's easier to dip in.

Bonus tip, when you go to McDonalds and you order fries, order them without salt. They have to make a new batch of fresh fries for you, and you can add salt later.

>>34236191
It sure fixed yours, looks like, psycho boy.

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50% of your problems can be solved with logic and reason. The other 50% have to be overcome with blind courage.

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>>34235199
You don't have to wait in line at the Barnes and Nobles, just go the starbucks inside it and pay for everything there.

>>34235482
On a slightly related note

>walking down a sidewalk
>person is walking towards me
>muster whatever confidence I have left
>stare right ahead as the person walks by
>tfw they look down to the ground while I'm still looking forward

Feels good, it's the little things that count.

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A fiber rich diet will help keep you teeth clean.

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Tip: If you are studying, try to get as much one-to-one time with your tutors as possible. One of the key differences between Oxbridge education and the lower tiers is the amount of personal tuition they can afford to give.

Bonus tip:
Put cookies in a bowl and pour the milk over them like cereal, and then go to betterfap.com - All other porn websites are shit in comparison.

Put ebooks on your phone, read on the bus/train/whatever instead of browsing inane internet memes or playing angry birds.

libgen.io

read the fucking textbook

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Don't trust anyone that says they want to help you.

When doing drugs be smart about when and where you take it, and be even more carefull on who you tell about it and be extra carefull who you do it with if you do it with anyone that is.

Never keep a large amount of drugs on you or in your place of living.

Save now rather than later.

Make sure you have at least 3 months worth of backup money in case shit hits the fan, plan up an amount that youbare completely sure you can survive on then add 50 percent more on to that amount to keep as a backup.

>>34243834
That's been blocked in the UK for a while now, but I've had this list of ebook sites bookmarked for ages and it's never let me down.

https://www.reddit.com/r/trackers/comments/hrgmv/tracker_with_pdfsebooks_of_college_textbooks/c1xrq44/

Never trust a bitch.

>>34243514
Big bookshops like that are absolutely always worse than little preowned bookshops. Just go into one when you've got an hour or so free and have a wander around, they are so nice to chill out in

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>>34235199
If you wanna take your shirt out real quick, grab the left shoulder part with your right hand and pull it.

>>34235199
Stop watching porn now! Stay off the weed (only smoke on weekends). Don't indulge in fantasy. Eat right

don't read this thread
checkmate

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When deciding to shit your pants in public make sure you are wearing underwear that applies a firm grip to your ass and thighs, this'll help prevent the chance of the log falling out and getting your shoes and or socks dirty.

>>34235781
t. Developer of Reaper

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If you're nervous about talking to other people, just realize that most of the time people are too focused on themselves to notice what other people are doing. You'll generally be fine as long as you relax.
Also, the best way to get friends/a GF is to do things that you enjoy. Focus on yourself and you'll become more attractive as a result.

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>>34235199

If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down. Oregano

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Stay off 4chan, and stop thinking about her, she doesn't.

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If you truly want to clean up, the first thing you have to do is get the fuck away from your shitty surroundings. It's way easier to drop an addiction when you're not only removed from triggering situations, but also doing something different and focusing on more productive avenues.

This doesn't just mean get away physically, I mean mentally too. Drop all contact with your junkie "friends" and after all is said and done, it'll become painfully obvious that you were never really engaged in a friendship at all.

Lastly, keep your seratonin/dopamine levels as high as you can by doing exercise every day, remembering to eat, and get some sunlight when possible.

>t. A paranoid schizophrenic that dropped a shitload of drugs and made his life much more bearable by doing this

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Learn about the Law of Attraction.

Pure truth is very rare.

>>34244147
>don't indulge in the only thing that makes life worthwhile
hmm

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If you just got out of a hot shower and your bathroom is warm, but the rest of your house is still cold. Open the door to your bathroom a little bit. By the time you go out the temperature should be the same and you won't notice the coldness.

>>34235282
hermit crabs will love you?

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If you have depression and have started experiencing symptoms of psychosis, stop smoking weed or you will have worse psychotic symptoms.

>>34235199
>pro tip: don't reply to this thread or your mother dies in her sleep
>OP is just baiting for . . . . . . . .

>>34235668
D-did you get the girl?

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If you're not planning on killing yourself soon, open a roth ira asap. I use Vanguard. Put in as much as you can now even if that isn't a lot and try too add more to it every year. I have mine set up to automatically add $30 per month. You can always take out any money that you put into it if you need,but you aren't allowed to touch the new earnings it generates until you're much much older. Iw ill take at least several days to process any withdrawals mind you. And the more money you keep in it the more it earns over time. It's essentially free money.
Any planning for retirement you can do now is great.

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>>34235199

Never tell a female that you love her unless you have been dating for at least 1-2 months.

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>>34235199
Suicide is always a possibility